Me when I fall in love with yet another character from a fandom where the only people writing x reader fics are cishet women:

heads up, there are trans users on hockeyblr who respectfully disagree with your post. I hope you don't receive any hate from anyone because your voice is as valid in this discussion, just as their's is. this is a period of time for everyone to learn together and to be respectful about the process. the transphobes can still fuck off though :P

Thank you for letting me know! I haven’t seen or heard of any responses to the post, so I don’t think I will be receiving any hate (not in the least because it did not gain much traction). I also do not intend to bash anyone’s opinions or feelings because certainly all feelings are valid. If anybody has links to me of people discussing this, I would love to see them, and if anybody disagrees with me, feel free to engage in (civilized) discussion because I 100% agree on people needing to learn together. I have definitely been reflecting a lot on the situation and my own perceptions and assumptions. 

Most of why I wrote the post is that I feel like currently a lot of the ongoing discussion is very one-sided. I 100% understand being trans is difficult and that any gender, sexual or romantic identity which deviates from the norm means you’re more often excluded from media that should be inclusive. In other words: yes, absolutely I think trans people deserve the self-insert fics they want to read, and I personally don’t read self-insert at all so I really don’t know how big this issue is. Obviously it is good for authors to know that assuming a pairing is cis straight isn’t the only option (and of course, this also extends to assumptions re: other types of marginalized bodies). 

However, I do think trans men have a unique type of responsibility in this situation. It is a complex identity--on the one hand, being transgender does come with marginalization, but on the other hand, and this goes for trans men specifically--especially those who socially and medically transition--do need to be aware of their male privilege and constantly check themselves on that. A trans man cannot act to women the way another woman would (whether she is trans or cis). 

I personally also find it difficult to break free from the established gender binary, particularly when it comes to people calling themselves “trans.” To me, that does signal male-or-female, which I am aware is untrue and I realized after writing that I failed to include more diverse gender identities. In other words: my post was specifically about binary trans men. 

Anyway, to reiterate: I do think fandom ought to be inclusive to anybody, particularly people belonging to marginalized groups. However, with that also comes a complex mix of identities and different methods of feeling safe. Women face struggles which are different from what trans men face; I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with female-only or female-focused communities. I do think Tumblr has an issue with their perception of men, and with generalizations, which I reckon is at work here. 

The way I interpreted the initial post, and perhaps this is my fault, I don’t know, was a trans man demanding access to a female space (and I suspect several people who agitated against OP did too). After reading subsequent messages I realize that the situation is more complex than that, and some women are claiming fandom should only be open to women, which I absolutely 100% disagree with. Personally I have never been made to feel like this fandom is only for women, although mlm ships do tend to attract a different audience, which must also relate to the types of posts people make. Personally, I also stay out of spaces that feel like they are “not for me” (e.g. I do follow some people who write or reblog self-insert fic because of their other content, but as that is not a type of fic I enjoy reading or writing, I skip past them). Discussions of inclusivity are always important and necessary. Yet, a man has to be aware that demanding change to cater to him within a safe space for women does give off a certain message. For me, that was what, paired with what felt like the demand on cis female authors to write a certain type of content, left a bad taste in my mouth. 

Ideally, to me, people read up on the extant issues in fandom. Authors reflect on why they write what they write--those who feel comfortable to do so will hopefully change some of the assumptions enclosed in much self-insert fic. I do think that experimentally writing marginalized POVs in fics like that is a great idea (and ought to include but extend beyond gender to also include a variety of body types and skin colours, cultural backgrounds, etc.). And hopefully the list of trans blogs going around makes clear that there is an audience for non-cishet self-insert stories, inspiring all kinds of authors to write more diversely. In fact, I would love to see people expand this type of creativity beyond the reader-insert, but write the hockey players they are paired up with as bisexual, trans, etc.  

Finally--There is a constant call to have “trans voices” be heard. I put that term in quotation marks, because to me it is a problematic notion--not because trans voices are inherently problematic, but because it means that only people who are openly transgender have a voice. I do not want to claim that there are no issues in cisgender people speaking for transgender people (particularly cisgender heterosexual white people), because there are, but I do want to stress that dismissing someone’s opinion as “worthless” and assuming they are cisgender--often because they disagree with the loudest trans voices--is also limiting. Yes, cisgender people exist, but trans people should not be forced to disclose their identity lest they be excluded from the discussion. 

You know what I’ve come to see as the most entitled and gross part of the modern fandom experience?

The part where people are so fucking desperate for their headcanons to be validated that they harrass creators to have their damn headcanons confirmed by them and if the creators don’t yield, then the creator is [something]phobic!

You’re assholes. You’re the worst at the bottom of the fandom barrel if you are like this.

It’s been tiresome seeing people claim Stan Lee to be homophobic for not confirming their headcanon that Peter Parker should totally be bisexual, now I’m enjoying Good Omens and gotta see people call Neil Gaiman homophobic for not confirming that Crowley and Aziraphale are gay.

Fact aside that you need to stop taking things outta context, since the only reason Neil said that was that he doesn’t believe that genderless angels would adhere to human sexuality, since you know they’re celestial creatures who only chose the bodies they inhabit on a whim.

And fact aside that Stan Lee created so many diverse characters.

Because neither of those things matter.

I know the internet has a hard time grasping this but straight people exist. CIShet people are actually a thing that exists so people who create fiction will also create CIShet characters and, as much as it might shock you, but when a creator very specifically creates a character with a sexuality in mind for them, then that is that character’s sexuality.

You wouldn’t want a homophobe to come to the creator of a gay character and be like “Uh, I headcanon her as straight because she should be with that guy” and the creator goes “YES you’re right she shouldn’t be a lesbian!!!”.

I’m sorry, and I’m aware the internet hates to hear that, but the same thing applies to straight characters.

They are their creator’s creations. When someone creates a character a certain way, then they want that character to be that way. Be that gay, lesbian, bi, trans or straight. That’s the way that character is, the way the creator wanted that character.

That doesn’t invalidate your headcanons, for fuck’s sake that’s the whole point of a headcanon. You can see Peter Parker as trans and bisexual and ace and whatever, no one is forcing you to take down your art or fics or posts about it. It just means that canonically, he is not. And that’s fine.

Aziraphale and Crowley have a beautiful romance that is very clearly written and coded as such and if the writer would actually be homophobic that would most definitely not be written in that way. Just because the author doesn’t want to put that label on them because it doesn’t fit the way he sees his creations doesn’t mean you can’t do it.

But you gotta learn to respect the author and respect that they wrote and intended characters and stories a specific way. If you don’t want their opinion, don’t ask them. Don’t go chasing after them, harrassing them to confirm whatever LGBT+ theory or headcanon you have and then getting mad that what is in your head isn’t in the head of the person who created those characters.

Sit your ass down, have fun in fandom and learn that fandom was specifically created to work off canon, to spin your own tales and theories and have fun with it and not to have every breath you take validated by the creators because that is... that is so incredibly unhealthy and quite frankly stupid.

It’s stupid because guess what? Everybody has headcanons. And the creators can’t cater to every single person. Someone may headcanon that Crowley and Aziraphale should be pansexual because they’re celestial and thus far beyond gender and just because they’ve ever only shown interest in one person doesn’t mean they couldn’t be interest in others. Some may prefer them as a strong, loving aroace relationship based on angels and such generally not having genitalia and thus you know not really having sexual attraction because they don’t have sex. And you’re sitting there, wanting to force the label “gay” on them like there’s no way either could ever be into anything but men.

Guess what? Neil would never be able to satisfy everyone. He can’t make them aroace, gay and pansexual. There is no pleasing every entitled fan out there. It’s virtually impossible, because there are so many potential LGBT+ headcanons that tend to contradict each other.

And this goes even more for ships. Stop it. Stop demanding that your objective OTP is subjectively superior. Stop harrassing creators to bend their straight characters gay so they can make your gay OTP canon just because you love it. Guess what? For you and your OTP, there is hundred, thousands, of people with a different OTP for each half of your OTP and if everybody comes harrassing the creator to make their OTP canon, we just end up in a huge, giant-ass harem fic, because, again, it is impossible to please everyone.

Your headcanon is not superior to anyone else’s. Your OTP is not more valid and precious than anyone else’s. You’re not entitled to the author changing their story to cater to your demands.

So can we all please go back to a fandom where the author has one canon for their character and we accept and respect the author, while also completely ignoring that canon in favor of whatever headcanon we prefer while we have fun in fandom?

Please, I’m so tired of this entitled, egocentric bullshit that acts like every one person knows infinitely more about the characters than the actual creator of said characters does, where people have this unhealthy addiction to having The Superior Headcanon and seeking validation - and if you don’t validate them, then burn at the stake. It’s exhausting.