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#i hope they still interact after this all over
carmenized-onions · 2 days
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Ad Interim. | No Service
logline; The days and doubts and desires; the air, underneath the shoe.
[!!!] series history, this is the ninth; the amount of links are getting nauseating just go to the landing LMAO.
Spotify Playlist, if you like to listen while you read. I listen to it when I write :) Constantly gettin’ added to. I listen to this playlist too much in my day to day now, fr.
portion; 3k+
possible allergies; you're almost ten chapters in, you know very well by now that these two are rife with anxiety and insecurity.
pairing; Carmen ‘Carmy’ Berzatto & Fem Reader (gets she/her'd mb)
fun fact: i finished this one 19 hours after the last chapter, whoops, but let it sit in my drafts to give some breathing room and do some rework
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It is t-minus three days, until the worst Friday of your life.
But today’s Tuesday, and though you feel a touch uneasy, you figure it’s probably just the breakfast from yesterday at La Mattina settling in your stomach— Or, at least, hope it is.
You’re at home, sitting on your couch, pensive, haggard, leaned over. Elbows to knees, prayer hands to face, staring at your phone on the coffee table in front of you.
Just send it. Just send the text. Don’t be a fucking wuss. You’ve re-written it in your notes app like five fucking times— He does not care this much, he doesn’t even have basic reading comprehension— Okay, that’s mean— But it’s just not that deep. Just fucking! Send it!
Actually no, no, upon sixth review, the paragraph you had written out was way too intense, way too presumptive. Backspace, backspace, backspace—Just say hi. Let’s just start with Hi.
‘Yooooooooo’
Are you fucking possessed? Good Lord. How is he already typing he never used to reply this fast, what the fuck—
‘Are u fucking haunted?’
‘Fuck is yooooooo’
‘Yooo to you too, cousin’
Faster texter now, but Richie is still the same guy, at the end of the day.
‘this is a loaded fucking question’
‘but do you think you’ll be free any time this week?’
‘not unless ur dead or dying’
‘are you dead or dying?’
‘not that I’ve heard’
‘but I was thinking maybe we could like, get food or smth’
‘chat one on one. Been a minute, yknow’
That was too much. You didn’t need to do all that. Now he’s gonna go well who’s fault is that? And it’s yours. You know it’s yours. And then you’re gonna have that fucking conversation— Which is what this whole meet up thing was supposed to be about in the first place—
‘heard’
‘can’t get time off but fak needs to have his training wheels ripped’
‘could have dinner at the bear this week? Like 2 hours. Then I can watch him and keep him from shitting the bed’
‘and still get to do a fucking one on one, you corporate speak ass’
‘I didn’t know how else to fucking say it alright!!!!!!’
‘Dinner @ bear sounds good to me’
‘but probably ask carm/syd first if it’s cool’
‘yea yea I’ll fuckin check in with daddy don’t worry’
‘that sucked for me. That sucked to read. Go to jail.’
‘already have.’
‘I’ll let u know a time when I know. See u chip’
You heart it. The classic signal that it’s the end of a conversation. Holy shit. You did it. You actually texted someone that you miss that you miss them— Not directly, but you know Rich knows. And specifically, to book a dinner, to talk about what happened, to apologize for it. That’s pretty fucking huge. Which means—
It’s time to eat a whole freezer cake and lay in your pyjamas all day and interact with not a single soul on this entire planet. You’re absolutely at your social limit, for the day. Maybe you’ll talk it through with Mikey, actually. To the air, more accurately, but, y’know, same thing.
You’re gonna get dinner with Richie. You’re gonna get dinner, with Richie, this Friday. And it’s not gonna be awkward or weird, at all.
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It is t-minus two days, until the worst Friday of Carmen’s life, so far, at least. There’s always next year.
But today’s Wednesday, and though he feels a little nerve-wracked, he’s pretty sure it’s just because the kitchen was so fucking dysfunctional this morning, and now that their prep’s off, the tempo of the whole fucking day is off, and they're behind on two tables. And fucking seriously this time, can someone get him a fucking marker that fucking works.
Okay, maybe it’s a little more, than nerve wracked.
Sydney is ever the intuitive, and always correct, at the station next to him— Because yes, they’re still down a hire since the meth guy, so now Carmen is on line.
She can tell, that somethings wrong with him, something’s always wrong with him. “Take your ten, Chef.”
Carmen shakes his head, obviously, there’s still prep to catch up on. And if he doesn't do it, it's not gonna get done, and even if it does get done, it's not gonna get done right. He’s pressing the dead sharpie down on the tape, like if he just brute forces it, it’ll start to work. “M’good, Chef.”
“Carmen.” She turns to him fully, stopping her work. And so, he does too. “Take your fucking ten.” She deadpans, she’s not taking no for an answer. She rubs her fist over her heart.
Carmen takes a beat, before nodding, doing the same. “Heard, Chef.”
He needs to look over expense reports that he can’t quite comprehend, anyways.
He really needs his sister. He steps into his office. Despite the fact that they re-constructed just about everything in the restaurant, this musty office remains the same. Untouched. After caving down walls, they had to cut the budget somewhere. He’s glad though, that it's untouched. It might be crowded, poorly organized, have an off smell (probably because of the birth in here, just a few weeks back), but it’s exactly as his brother left it, and that helps him feel… Connected, somehow.
What the hell is Var vs Budget? He’s googling every other word, here. He’s more than grateful, that before going home on mat leave, Sug set up a good enough automated Excel sheet that he could just plug in numbers and it did all the calculating for him. Doesn’t mean he knows what any of the numbers mean, but, they’re there.
He knows that red equals bad. Natalie told him that very specifically. Which did seem like she was calling him fucking stupid, but he let it go. There’s a lot of red. That’s a lot of bad. Well, not a lot, but like, a third of this is red. That’s probably more than it should be. How many months do they have again? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
He is never gonna get to pay himself, he’s never gonna be able to pay Syd, he's never gonna get her a star, she’s gonna live with her dad for the rest of her life, you are never gonna get to work here, you’re gonna work as a bottle girl for the rest of your life, he’s never gonna get his shit together so he’s never gonna get to call you his, he’s gonna have to hand the deed to Cicero and then fucking everyone is gonna to lose their jobs and he’s still gonna be him. He’s still gonna be him. Carmy Berzatto, the chef that lost everything, little brother to everyone's hero who blew his brains out. Starless in Chicago, unable to feel anything more than sorry for himself. Carmen’s gonna die as Carmen, and nothing more. At the end of the day.
Take a deep breath, Bear. Relax.
He’s catastrophizing. You told him that. He forgot to look into it. He googles that, instead of another business term he doesn’t understand.
‘Fixates on the worst possible outcome and treats it as likely, even when it is not.’
Well, it does seem pretty fucking likely that he’s doomed to fail and fall into a Sisyphean nightmare of opening restaurants and falling on his fucking face, dragging everyone he loves down with him with his stupid failed pipe dreams. He's no better than his brother.
He tries his best to think of whatever level-headed bullshit you'd give to him, right now, tries to taste the hot chocolate, the lavender and cardamom coffee. He smells your shampoo, in his hair, that helps.
Maybe, maybe it’s just been a bad week. Maybe there will be a lot of bad weeks, maybe there won’t be. Maybe things will be fine, maybe they won’t. You and Syd will still succeed, even if he fails. Everyone will, even if he fails. He has a very capable crew. And while he cannot escape the thought that failure is around the corner, at the very least, he is comforted by the idea that at least he will be the only one sinking with the ship he commands.
The thought of drowning alone is still impossible to rid of. Though.
But you’ve sent a text. And isn’t that a wonderful distraction?
Your connection results in response to his, from this morning, of course. You actually got it today. He swells with what feels like pride, and despite the fact that no one's looking at him, he has to hide his smile with his hand, embarrassed by how happy he is, when he sees the photo you’ve sent, just now. A selfie, sitting next to an oven, Other Tony’s oven. You’re holding a fried wire in your hand.
The text below it is a wonderful salve, ‘If you ever fuck up your ovens, I’ve got like, 10 thermocouples in my personal stock now :))’
So good to him, too good to him. Too good to anyone. ‘Heard.’
Carmen so, so fucking desperately wants to ask you to come to The Bear, right now. You’re only two blocks away, at La Mattina. You’d come, if he asked. He knows that. But he also knows that even if you calm him down, in the long run, it’ll set his day even further off tempo, he’ll be distracted the rest of his shift, and that’s the last thing he needs. He can handle this himself.
‘:)’ For levity. Or something. He’s trying. You give it a heart, so that means he’s done something good, he’s pretty sure.
There’s a knock at his door. Richie does not wait for an answer before coming in. His knocks are more like warnings, really. Carmen’s quick to tuck his phone away, he knows it’d be perfect cannon fodder to be teased into oblivion.
“Aye, cous—”
Carmen does not let the man get a word in inch wise, “Who’s on expo?”
Richie grimaces, this fucking song and dance, again. “Syd.”
“Who’s on her station, then?”
“T.”
“And hers?”
“She’s doin’ fuckin’ both Carmy— And—” Richie pulls a sharpie out of his breast pocket, throwing it at him. Carmen catches it. “Fuckin’ works. Alright?”
Marker works, and the system works. He catches the double meaning, too. Carmen nods, “Heard.”
“Christ.” Richie looks to high heaven, looks to his best friend, really, to give him strength. “Can I take my fuckin’ turn now?”
“Yeah, yeah, go ‘head.” Carmen turns to his desk, looking over the excel sheet, again. He can’t imagine Richie needing all of his undivided attention, right now, he’s not you.
Speaking of you, he can’t find your repair expenses anywhere on here. He needs to text Sug, about that. No, she’s got a fucking baby, he’ll at least look for a physical copy, first.
“I need to take two hours, on Friday.”
“Huh?” Carm’s head snaps up. Okay, maybe he does need to give his full attention to Richie, right now. “Eva got a fuckin’ recital, or somethin’?”
“No, no, uh— Chip wants to get dinner.” Rich scratches his nose with his thumb. “Thought since Fak's been training to host f'like, the whole fuckin’ month, could do dinner 'ere, let him do a run on us. Two birds, one bullet, y’know.”
“It’s stone.”
“I’m not fuckin’ high, cousin—” “No, it’s— Alright.” Carmen closes his eyes, hand over his face, deciding this is not the fight he wants to choose. “Tony’s getting dinner with you?”
“If I’m allowed, your fuckin’ Majesty.”
If it were up to Carmen? He wouldn’t be. But you specifically asked. Why, he has no idea. Carmen crosses his arms. “Yeah, yeah, s’fine. Just start at like, a not peak time. Like 4:30? Then when rush starts after 5 Fak’ll have a lil' momentum.”
“Heard. I’ll tell ‘em.” Richie nods, turning to make his way out.
Carm’s leg bounces, a tick that he’s pretty sure he’ll never get rid of. “… Ey Rich?”
He stops, turning back to Carmy, “Yeah, cousin?”
Carmen taps the end of the sharpie on the table, not looking at Richie, “What’s uh— Why d’you call Tony ‘Chip’?”
Ever so slightly, Richie’s brows furrow. “Did'j'ya ask her?”
Carm shakes his head, “S’why I’m asking you.”
Richie takes a beat, head rocking to the side, “Y'should ask her, she’ll tell you.”
Carmy squints, at that, “Is it fuckin’ dark or somethin’, cousin?”
What’s so secretive about Chip? He figured it would be some stupid inside joke with chocolate chips, like Sug with the salt mix up. Richie swallows, frowning just a bit. He clearly does not know how to answer this question, which just makes Carmen even more curious.
“S’ not dark, kinda, it’s just, y’know. Personal.” Since when the fuck did Richie have respect for personal? Probably since he sent him to stage. Goddammit.
“Did you not coin it?”
“Mikey did.”
Oh.
Huh.
Mikey got to do that first, too, eh?
“But, y’know, ask her, she likes you well enough to tell you, I think.” Richie shrugs, palms out. “Kinda tells stories like that better than me, anyways.” That's high praise— Not in the sense that Richie's a great storyteller, but that he's willing to admit it, for you.
“Oh, she doesn’t bury the fuckin’ lead?”
“Oh, fuck you.” But it’s true, so Richie’s amused. There’s something nice, about being known. Even if it’s to tease.
There’s a lull of silence. Quite frankly, Carmen’s hoping that Richie’s general disdain of silence will force him to confess your nickname backstory, just to fill the void. It doesn’t. Instead, it just gears him up, in the worst way, able to read the look on Carmen’s face.
“You really wanna fuckin know, huh?” Richie tilts down his head, teasing. Carmen groans. Oh dear god, why him. “Oh, fuck, you fuckin’ like her, don’t’chu, cousin? You fuckin’ dog.”
“Shut the fuck up, Rich—”
“Aye, Chip’s a real catch, I gettit— Works hard, plays nice, cleans up good— Y’have my blessing.”
“Didn’t ask for it.”
“Aye,” Richie snaps his fingers, pointing at Carmen like he could smite him. “Don’t gimme no talk back, she was my boy first, a’right? One bad word from me, n’ your lil’ fantasy—” He gestures an explosion with his hand, making a ‘pop’ sound with his lips.
“Gone, cousin.”
Carmen leans back in his seat, playing with the sharpie in his hand. He’s essentially Kubrick staring down Richie, but the guy is unaffected. “Friday, 4:30, two hours. If Fak fucks up, you’re on deck.”
“Heard.”
“Jeff, can I please get an all day, baby?” Baby is Tina’s new HR approved version of ‘for the love of fucking god’ She’s definitely at her limit, meaning Syd’s definitely at her limit on expo. Richie starts to step out, walking backwards.
“You comin’ cousin?”
Carm scratches his nose, straightening up back to his desk. He wishes he could go back to the kitchen, where he knows he’s good, instead of in here, with some goddamn spreadsheets that he cannot comprehend beyond bad. “Uh, one sec, I just need to finish this fuckin’—” He shakes his hand in the air, “Whatever the fuck this is.”
Richie nods, tapping the doorway on his way out. “Heard… g’luck.”
Carmen does not look at the spreadsheets. No. He thinks. He doesn't think about business.
That wasn’t true, was it? A phone call from Richie wouldn’t be the end of him, end of you, would it? Carmen is on the losing playing field here, practically everyone here has more history with you than he does. If he had a��� lapse in behaviour, and it got back to you, would that ruin him? God, even his work family ruins things for him. Or could. Which means they will. Catastrophizing.
Whatever. What the fuck ever. He needs to find your invoice. After some flipping through last month’s file, he finds a sticky note from Sug between loose pages.
‘reminder: ask carmy 4 tony invoice’
He squints. You said Nat took care of it. Maybe it’s an old sticky note, he’ll text her about it, it’ll be a solid forty hours before he’ll get a response, anyways. Mom stuff. He really needs to go visit his niece again, soon. Maybe this weekend. Take Richie’s car. But then he'll probably will be forced to take Richie, too. Maybe he should just ask you, instead. Let Nat thank you for the heating pad she’s been loving, properly. Have dinner, all together, in an actual family home, instead of just each other's apartments. That'd be nice.
Yeah. Yeah. He’ll ask you on Friday, when you come for dinner. He grabs a pad of paper, biting the cap off his sharpie. He’ll make you something off menu, on Friday. You’re coming before the rush, anyways, he’ll have time to play, on Friday.
He’s gonna do right by you, this Friday.
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Tomorrow, you’ll be getting dinner with Richie, and it’ll be the worst Friday of your life.
But right now, it’s Thursday night, and you’ve finally finished Carmen’s piece for The Bear. You know you told him if he didn’t like it, he didn’t have to put it up, but admittedly, if he doesn’t like it, you will be crushed.
One big white canvas.
Nine perfect squares, perfectly equidistant from each other at all angles.
Each square a snippet, a photo transfer. The squares themselves are messy, sun damaged, bleach stained, light flared. All twinged blue and yellowish. But so perfectly cut and curated.
Each image, something new. Starting at the top left, it’s The Original Beef. Then, the inside. Then the booths.
Then the second row, the sandwiches, held in hands.
The center photo. You've taken almost all of these photos on a disposable from yesteryear, but this is the one you like the most.
Mikey. The only transfer completely unbleached, unaltered, unruined. He’s holding two cut outs. One, Food & Wine and the other, a small section in the off off off pages of the New York Times.
Both specifically the one’s that mentioned Carmen, winning Best Chef and the James Beard.
Mikey was so proud. So so proud, silently, just with you— Couldn't look soft. Carmen does not know this photo exists. No one does. You hope this piece will act as the catalyst for you to be able to talk about the elephant in the room you’ve yet to open for him.
Right next to Mikey, is a balloon on a pipe— A photo you grabbed from Sydney and printed. You can only imagine the stress you could’ve eased, during their fire safety test. C’est la vie. Fak got to prove himself.
And on the last row, the new, ritzy, booths. The Seven Fishes dish— Also a photo you stole from Sydney. And finally, The Bear’s sign. Taken at night, lit up in all its neon glory.
Though the images are disconnected, starting from Mikey in the center— Clean, the flaring and staining grows more intense at the pictures in the corner. Just bordering on illegible. It all feels interconnected, woven.
It’s Carmen. Or, at least, you think it is. That’s what you were trying to achieve. You took inspiration from the way his brain works, the way he cooks messy but produces orderly, the way he’s grown something out of what was barely more than nothing. The way love and grief is at the center of everything. He’s awfully inspiring.
You’re excited, to show this to him tomorrow, on Friday. Hopefully all goes well, on Friday. You’re coming before the rush, you’ll probably have a little time to talk, on Friday. You won’t be able to get into everything, no, you’ve promised most of your bandwidth to Richie, but you’ll make a good start, on Friday.
You’re gonna do right, by Carmen, on Friday.
Tomorrow.
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HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
i've still got 2k of beats to cover for the next chapter, and have 7.9k already written out, for it. This is going to be fun. lmao. I'm genuinely very very excited for you to see it, when it comes out. Cannot believe I thought like 4 chapters ago that'd this next chapter would be the one to be released next. I almost briefed over all of these past few chapters to be nothing more than snippets in a chapter, I would never forgive myself if i went through with that plan, fr.
Anyways, no time for the future, this is NOW!! I hope I described Tony's paintin' good. I think it'd be nice. MBMBAM reference in the intro, are you fucking HAUNTED? ARE YOU FUCKING POSESSED? Love griffy, had to. Carmen CANNOT stop having anxiety attacks, someone get him on prozac frfr.
Tell me your thoughts or I'll eat my hat, I'm gonna need some words to chew on while I write, anyways. Hitting a wall choreographing this back half of chapter ten my GOD. Also oh yeah, silly aesthetic thing. I dunno if anyone noticed or cared, but i do a different ombre banner when it's carmen's perspec-- Did it last chapter too, aint that cute?
Also, I must finally give in, I was lazy to do taglists, but have folded, so here u are mfs. If you'd like to be added, you gotta leave me an essay somewhere. It's the RULES! Well, leave an essay and also ask to be added to the taglist that is but IT'S THE RULES!!
@anytim3youwant @navs-bhat @whoknowswhoiamtoday @gills-lounge @slut4supersoldiers @sinceweremutual @itsallacotar @catsrdabestsocks101
fully added people that never asked to be on here, you're just like, top fans, so i thought it would be nice, but if you WANT TO BE TAKEN OFF LET ME KNOW I'LL DO IT IMMEDIATELY ALSO IF I'M FORGETTING ANYONE WHO ASKED PLEASE DO REMIND ME
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Veni, Vidi, Vici | Michael Gavey x fem!reader
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Summary: Things finally come to a head following the last of Michael's exams | Word Count: 3.2k~ | Warnings: p in v sex, virginity loss, somewhat tipsy sex
Part One : Quid Pro Quo Part Two : Carpe Diem
A:N: let's just ignore the fact this has been in my drafts since December 😘 And yes, I didn't come the first time either, it happens okkkk. Sorry if this is all over the place, I wrote half of it like four months ago and the other half last week soo
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Every single time she saw his username pop up on her computer, an involuntary smile spread across her face, and warmth pooled in her belly with the memory of that evening still fresh in her mind. She isn’t quite sure what she enjoys remembering more, his flushed cheeks and glasses askew or the way he was trying to adjust his cargo trousers to somewhat hide his erection by the end of their second tryst.
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After that short interaction though, she was surprised at his restraint, if not a bit impressed. She’d at least managed to avoid the irresistible pull of his company in time to finish the last of her exams. And as for Michael, were it not for the odd text message or the ‘active’ icon next to his username in MSN, she would have thought he dropped off the face of the planet.
Part of her can imagine him now, bent over his desk, twirling a pencil between his fingers, mind working like freshly-oiled cogs and pushing his glasses up his nose. Completely concentrated. And yet, he was still on his computer, with the application open, as if to test his own restraint.
And to be fair to him, he never cracked, not once. For the entire time since their last meeting and now, he never messaged.
With her own exams out of her way, she spent most of her time with Priya (albeit at the pub, with glasses of wine emptied as well as the details of every meeting she’d had with Michael Gavey).
“Oh my god, as if you are into nerdy little white boys!” she laughed with a cigarette perched between her two fingers and proclaimed far too loudly so that the entire pub heard.
“Shut u-” she retorted with a slap to her arm, “besides, not so little, if you know what I mean.”
“It’s like I hardly know you. I love it.”
“Stop it,” she retorts, sitting back in her chair with a flush to her face, “he's genuinely nice.”
“That's not what I heard,” Priya snorts, “I hear he had a hissy fit on like the first day ‘cos someone wouldn't ask him a sum.”
“He's very passionate.”
“Hm,” she widened her eyes, “let’s hope it translates.”
She presses her lips together to keep herself from smiling. Watching Priya’s mind tick will never get old.
“Oh my fucking god, is he a v-”
“Yes, Priya!”
She gasps in mock surprise, “you absolute gremlin. So you've not…?”
“Not yet,” she replies with a shake of her head, “told him we could after he's done his exams.”
“And you're making him wait for it? I had no idea you were so cruel.”
She shrugs, biting back a smile as her eyes drop to the table. Excitement bubbling in her belly.
Priya leans in, her voice lowered to a conspiratorial whisper, "So, spill it then. What's the plan for the big night?"
She chuckles nervously, swirling the remnants of her wine in her glass. "I don't know, Priya. I've never been in this position before. It's like uncharted territory."
Priya's eyes widen with exaggerated shock. “My queen of confidence, feeling nervous? This I have to see."
She rolls her eyes, but there's a playful glint in them. "Oh, shut up. It's different when it's someone you actually like."
Priya nods understandingly, but then her expression turns mischievous. "Well, just remember to relax and enjoy yourself. And if all else fails, there's always wine."
She laughs, shaking her head. "Thanks, Priya. I appreciate the pep talk."
Priya grins, raising her glass. "To new adventures and nerdy white boys!"
As they continue chatting, her phone buzzes with a new message. She glances down at the screen, a faint blush creeping onto her cheeks. Priya notices her reaction and nudges her playfully. "Ooh, speak of the devil?"
She nods, trying to suppress her smile as she reads the message. "Yeah, he's just about to go in for his exam." 
Priya winks suggestively. "Maybe he's hoping for a sneak preview of what's to come? You know, for luck.”
“Ha ha,” she rolls her eyes, typing off a quick reply of good luck, “remind me to never tell you personal shit ever again.”
“Mate, it's the suit. You're gonna see him in it and jump his di-”
“Priya!”
“What?!”
She should have known better really that wine tends to have this loosening effect on Priya. And she'd barely finished her own glass before it was time to hop off and meet Michael after his very last exam. It was the perfect day for it, with the sun blaring, everyone was in a good mood, with an electrifying and exciting atmosphere light in the breeze.
As she waited with the other groups of friends waiting to cheer on the examinees, she felt that pleasant roll of nerves in her stomach, biting her lip to contain her smile.
She thought that with some level of embarrassment, she was really really falling for this guy. Or this ‘nerdy, white boy’ as Priya so eloquently put it.
Her cheeks hurt from smiling when she saw his lanky, suit clad form saunter out of the exam hall. Her chest ached pleasantly when he hopefully scanned the crowd, watching others join their friends in celebration. And for a moment, she thought she detected the slightest hint of fomo.
But nothing compared to when he finally spotted her.
Though Michael tried to hide it, a thin lipped smile spread across his face, fiddling with the cap he held in his palms, looking down as if to hide his expression.
Her hands found the front of his suit, affectionately running over the material, “Hey. You look nice.”
He nearly rolled his eyes, “can't wait to get out of it. Too hot for this.”
The excited squealing and shouting stole both of their attention for a moment, particularly Michael's. He glanced sideways at the Felix Catton, with his newest toy, smiling and laughing without a care in the world.
She furrowed her brows, patting his chest, “who's that?”
Michael blinked behind his glasses, throat bobbing as he remained quiet for a moment, “No-one. Come on, let's go.”
As they settled by the tranquil riverbank, the gentle murmur of the water providing a soothing backdrop, they both relaxed into the moment. The weight of the exam stress began to lift, replaced by the lightness of shared laughter and companionship.
Sitting side by side, their feet dangling over the edge, they clinked their bottles together in a silent toast before taking refreshing sips. The sun cast a warm glow over them, painting the scene with hues of gold and amber.
Leaning back on their hands, they watched as birds soared overhead, their graceful movements adding to the serenity of the afternoon. Occasionally, a playful breeze would ruffle their hair, prompting soft chuckles and playful swats.
“So, have you decided yet?” 
She glanced at him over her shoulder, “what?”
He fiddled with his tie that he'd long taken off in somewhat of a nervous gesture, “it’s been 142 minutes.”
She furrowed her brows, trying not to look amused, “since what?”
He chuckled, trying to hide his nerves. “You said you'd consider being my girlfriend after exams.”
Her smile widened, a fondness evident in her gaze. “Oh, that? Well, I guess it's been 142 minutes too long then, hasn't it?”
She could see the way he was trying not to look too relieved. “Really?”
“Really,” she confirmed, leaning in to press a tender kiss to his lips. “But only if you promise to stop counting the minutes.”
He cocked his head, a breathy laugh falling from between his lips, a faint flush rising to his cheeks at the brief moment of contact. “No can do.”
She hummed a laugh, the lightness of the situation making her stomach flip, “Are the Carol Vorderman posters non-negotiable too?”
He threw his head up to the sky, “Fucking christ, I don’t have-”
“I know! I know!”
Had Michael seen himself months ago, he wouldn’t have imagined it, walking back to his dorm with a half-empty stomach and the alcohol to replace it with a tipsy waddle, and a girl’s hand closed in his, swinging at their sides.
Whereas campus was usually rife with busy students, toing and froing between the library, lectures and their dorms, today was calm, clear. And it felt as if for once, Michael could loosen the reins on the anticipation that had been building in preparation for his exams, and relax into the soothing company she offered. 
She laughed as he tripped over the threshold to his room, the tiniest drop of fruity cider still at the bottom of her bottle. Michael flushed and immediately went to unbutton his shirt, looking somewhat apprehensive.
“Leave it on, if you want,” she smiled coyly, watching the way a blush crept up his neck, his wide blue eyes beneath the frames of his glasses all shy with anticipation.
“...you sure?”
She nodded immediately, trying to calm his nerves. Though she could hardly blame him, she'd felt the same flutters in her belly when it was her first time. She was sure he was no different.
“Course, looks good on you anyway,” she mused, her fingers gently swatting his hand away playfully to undo only the top few buttons. Michael shivered at her touch there, sending waves of pleasurable nerves through his body.
They stood there for a moment, taking each other in, and as she set her bottle down on the desk, she couldn't help but lean in to press one, two, tipsy kisses to his neck. If she could see his face, his eyes had long since slipped shut, lips parted as if not knowing what on earth to say.
“I've…never done this before.”
“It's okay,” she whispered, breath hot on his skin, “I'll look after you.”
The cheeky smile she gave him made his heart almost stop dead in his chest. But his confession, and her calm receiving of it, seemed to bridge the gap between them, and when she turned her head to look at him, he captured the surprised gasp between his lips, and worked up the courage he'd built the last two trysts of intimacy into this one tender moment.
It was gentle at first, hesitant. But as their mutual desire overcame their initial shyness, it deepened in no time.
Her hands found their way to the back of his neck, careful fingers threading up over his nap to the sandy, blonde hair that had formed a subtle wave from the humidity. His own hands settled on her waist, pulling their bodies flush. And the softness of her lips and the anticipation of his hands drifting lower to the hem of her dress, had his stomach doing backflips.
They moved to the bed by sheer instinct, their kisses growing more urgent as she gently pushed him down and straddled his lap, all while his hands roamed her back, waist and lower towards her thighs, exploring the contours and curves of her body above him.
She pulled back slightly, her own face flushed from heat, feeling his hardness already between her legs where she was placed on top of him, “trust me, okay?”
Michael nodded, the bob of his throat betraying how nervous he was, “I do...”
She smiled, her own confidence calming his nerves, and guided his hands to the straps of her dress, showing without words that there was nothing beneath it. Michael himself let out a strained whimper when her hand crept up his thigh, and massaged his erection through his suit trousers, squeezing up his shaft to the sensitive tip.
“We can do it like this, if you prefer..” she whispered, wanting to do things the way he wanted for his first time.
He nodded, looking up at her with an expression that said everything, relief, “yeah, please..”
Her hands were tender and slow, undoing the heavy buckle of his belt and popping the button, each movement making the air feel hot in his chest. And emboldened by their intimacy, his own hands slid up her thighs, rolling the hem of her dress up to her hips, sighing against her lips and smirking when she whined at his grip.
“Fuck-” 
It was her turn to grin when she finally wrapped her hand around him, pulling him from the confines of his boxers and teasing him with her touch. His eyes dared to look between them, at her slender fingers around his cock, drawing both delicious pleasure and sending sparks up his spine. 
Her hips lowered, to grind herself on his length, and Michael nearly lost it there and then, even thinking about being inside her. To be honest, it was part of the reason he wanted to stay clothed, because he'd finish too quickly if he saw her completely naked.
“You okay?” She asked with a pleased smile, knowing her answer without needing an answer.
“Y-yeah…do I need…”
“It's up to you,” she reassured, “I'm clean, and I'm on the pill so…”
He nodded, secretly a little mortified at the idea of having his first time without protection on his part. It had always been drilled into him that, in truth, he was a little apprehensive, but the knowledge that she was careful, made him feel better about it.
“Do you want me like this?” She asked quietly, her lips at his jaw, pressing tiny gentle kisses, “me on top.”
“Yeah, yeah…”, Michael nodded quickly, his hands tightening at her hips. In truth he just wanted to do it, too wound tight and excited to care about the position.
She shuffled closer, trailing her lips down his neck as she pulled her underwear to one side. Truthfully the alcohol, as little as it was, had made her a bit needy for him the second he walked out of the exam hall. And being his first time, it was probably just as well he didn't feel the need to prepare her, assuming it'd be overwhelming for him.
Slowly she lowered herself onto him, the initial stretch stealing the air from her lungs for a moment. She could feel his breath come in ragged gasps. His grip tighten. And as soon as she felt him tense, she stopped and let him decide when he wanted to continue.
She was so warm and tight around him, Michael couldn't help at first but think it was uncomfortable. But once he took a breath, he could feel her silky walls envelop him, closing in with a desperate hold. It was hard to stay still. And that initial discomfort ebbed into relaxation.
She was about to ask if he was okay, but she let out a strained moan, as his hands pushed her hips down to meet his as he pushed up, pulling her on top of him so that she was flush to his body.
Her hands held him tight, he felt utterly different inside her than she had imagined. The stretch of him was a pleasurable pain at first, but once she'd relaxed and adjusted around him, after months of no sex, she felt herself grind on him slightly.
“Jesus fucking Christ-”
She smiled at that, leaning up to face him, “you okay?..”
“God, yeah, very okay-” he manages.
“Do you want me to-”
“Can I…” he asks, “please.”
“Y-yeah-” 
His hand slipped behind her neck, tugging her lips down to his, while the other slid down her back, pushing her down on him to meet him halfway with every tentative thrust into her. From this position, with her chest nearly flush to his, her breasts rippling over the top of her dress rhythmically, she could feel him deeper. And the sensation had her unable to form any coherent thought.
She knew he wouldn't last long. Judging by the way he was moaning lowly against her lips and how his hips stuttered as they moved.
She also didn't expect any kind of orgasm from the experience, fully wanting it to just be comfortable for Michael and nothing else. But when he pulls her down, his hands snaking around her waist tightly, and the cooling sensation on his glasses against her shoulder as he buries his head there, she finds that, whether he intended to or not, he brushes against her sweet spot.
Michael groans as she tightens around him slightly, each push inside of her fuels the numb, simmering sparks of an orgasm, slowly building, and she is powerless to stop it.
“Fffuck-”
And yet she can feel him losing momentum. He's worn himself out too early she can tell. So pushing herself off his chest, she sits up on top of him and does the work herself. Her thighs burn and she feels a bit self conscious being in full view like this, but it feels too good for her to care. She grinds her hips down on his length, looking down at Michael and watching his appreciative expression, his glasses skewed slightly.
His jaw goes slack at the renewed pace, and his hands remain on her waist as he throws his head back, brows furrowed, the tell tale sign he's nearly there. So concentrated on moving on top of him, she knows she won't come, but it still feels nice nonetheless.
And as she pushes her hips backwards and forwards on him, nudging her sweet spot more forcefully, she cries out, causing Michael to look down between them and watch the way he disappears inside of her, moist bodies slapping together.
“Oh fuck, fuck, I'm-”
Michael would be ashamed to say how much he's touched himself to the thought of that first night with her, when she knelt between his legs in the common room. Of course, it felt good. But finishing inside her, with her smooth, velvety walls sucking him in, fluttering around him, feels so entirely different. It's like being on another planet.
His hips give a few final mini thrusts up into her, before he stills, riding out his high and letting himself descend from heaven. He is only brought back, when she leans down to kiss his neck, trailing up to his jaw.
“You okay?...” She asks, her voice ragged and quiet.
Michael swallows through breaths he sucks in, “yeah…” he answers simply, glancing up at her and smiling through foggy lenses. “You?”
She laughs breathily, her fingers drawing patterns on his chest, “More than okay.”
“Even though you didn't…?”
“Don't worry about me. Tonight was for you,” she smiles, sliding off him to his side, and pulling her dress down slightly. “You did great, you know.”
He chuckles, tucking himself away, slinging an arm around her, “guess all that practice watching Countdown paid off.”
She snorts a laugh at that, the atmosphere lifting, “yeah, remind me to send Carol Vordermann an official thank you.”
Michael grins, feeling more relaxed now. "You think she'd respond? Maybe send me an autograph for my wall?"
She laughs, nudging him playfully. "Oh, I'm sure she'd be thrilled to know she had such a positive impact on your life.” she smiles at him, tucking herself beneath the covers, “anyway stop talking about other women around me, I get jealous.”
“Sor-ry,” he smirks. Michael's grin widens as he pretends to ponder deeply. "Well, as long as you're teaching, maybe you could help me with all the different positions... in grammar, of course."
She laughs, her eyes twinkling with amusement as he rolls on top of her, her legs parting instinctually. "Oh, absolutely, but I must warn you, I'm very thorough."
Michael replies, voice low and warm, his hand stealing between them both to slide his fingers between her thighs. “Good thing I'm a quick learner then.”
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General Taglist: @aemondsfavouritebastard @bellstwd @blackswxnn @blairfox04 @buckybarnesb-tch
@castellomargot @emmaisafictionwhore @hb8301 @jamespotterismydaddy @justbelljust
@minholy223 @mochi-rose @natty2017 @nenelysian @primonizzutto
@qyburnsghost @randomdragonfires @risefallrise @thelittleswanao3 @theoneeyedprince
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purple-plum-petals · 6 hours
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⊱ You Can Do Better Than Me ⊰ || Boothill X Reader
╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮        Character(s): Boothill (Honkai: Star Rail)        Reader Type: Human, Not the Trailblazer (Gender-Neutral Pronouns)        Warning(s): Break-up (Miscommunication/Assumptions… Not Permanent), Negative Body Image/Self-talk (Regarding Boothill), Use of Petnames (Boothill calls Reader “darlin’” and “sweets” and Reader calls Boothill “honey” and “love”), Slightly Suggestive Ending.        Genre: Drabble, Angst, Fluff (Hurt/Comfort), Pre-Established Romantic Relationship        Word Count: ~2500 words       Prompt: “What part of ‘I want you, and only you’ do you not understand?”        Author’s Note: Hello everyone, I come back to you briefly with a random Boothill drabble because this cowboy has been on my brain for the past three months and I needed to get something written for him ASAP. I actually got both him and his lightcone on release day, so I’m still hyped about that (didn’t even need to break my F2P status either hehehe 😎). I will get around to writing a multi-chapter fic for him as soon as my summer semester is over and all of the current requests in the ask box have been answered. I’ve been managing the workload relatively well so far, but it’s genuinely been so overwhelming in terms of content/information that my brain can barely form coherent sentences after class and work. 😭 Anyways, have some self-conscious Boothill and my beloved hurt/comfort. Maybe instead of saving the horse, we should save the cowboy. Also… let me know if anyone is interested in a part two, and I’ll be happy to write it. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)             Tag-List: @anonima-2 – I know you wanted me to tag you if I got around to writing a Boothill X Reader fic, so here it is! It may not be a multi-chapter one, but I hope you enjoy this little drabble.
→ If you enjoyed my work, please reblog it if you can! Exposure on Tumblr is based on reblogging content rather than liking it, so your support would be much appreciated!  ♡ ╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯
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You had known Boothill for quite some time now. You had crossed paths with the elusive Galaxy Ranger throughout the years, so many times that you eventually lost count. Three times was uncommon, five times was rare, but over twenty times? That was absolutely unheard of given the vast expanse of space. It got to the point where you both noticed how frequently you would meet, the two of you making jokes that the universe was pushing you together.
Boothill had thought for a while you were sent to capture and/or kill him by the IPC but, after a particularly intense “discussion” (where he proceeded to hold you at gunpoint, as he frequently did with most people), you were able to confirm that all of the times you two had met were indeed just an exceedingly rare coincidence. It was something you would occasionally bring up to tease him about nowadays, poking fun at the fact he had literally held his future partner at gunpoint. It was a memorable event to reminisce on when asked by others ‘how did you two meet?’.
Years had passed since that unforgettable interaction, and both you and Boothill were happy and content in your current relationship. All of that time together with him had given you insight into how the cowboy typically behaved. He could be brash and rush into trouble head-first, but he was also immensely intelligent and could think of a plan on the fly to get himself out of even the stickiest situations. He was the type of person who frequently spoke his mind, not allowing his tampered-with Synesthesia Beacon to completely censor what he wanted to say… which is why you were as worried as you were lately.
Your boyfriend hadn’t been as talkative as he usually was. He had returned from a three-month-long trek around the galaxy a few days ago, and he had been distant ever since he came back. His replies had been clipped, and he had a strange look in his eye whenever he glanced your way; he hadn’t even looked at you for more than a few seconds since his return.
Tentatively, you made your way over to where he was sitting by an open window in your home, the breeze gently blowing the strands of his black-and-white hair to and fro. You stepped closer to stand next to him as you asked, voice tender as you spoke, “Boothill, honey, what’s wrong? You’ve been more reserved than usual these past few days, and I just want to check to see if you’re ok–…”
Then, he spoke, his voice firm as he cut off the rest of what you were going to say, “…I wanna break up.”
Your heart dropped into your stomach at his words, and you felt your palms begin to clam up with sweat as you whispered, “W… What?” You swallowed harshly, stepping closer to him as you asked, double-checking to see if you had heard him correctly, “What did you just say?”
“I said I wanna break up.” He says once more, voice rough as he turns his head ever-so-slightly to watch you from his peripheral. It felt like the world had stopped moving when he confirmed what you had always hoped you would never have to hear, and you feel your eyes begin to water. He finally, after so many days, looks at you directly after what has felt like eons. Whatever expression was on your face caused him to flinch before he looked away once more, staring at his hat on the nearby table.
Boothill sighs and runs a hand through his hair as he continues to speak, his voice gentler than usual as he tells you, “I don’t think this,” He pauses, taking his hand and gesturing toward himself before finishing his thought, “…is good fer you.”
Your emotions were fluctuating so quickly that your mind didn’t know what to do with all of them. First, you were worried about your boyfriend, then you were heartbroken when he said he wanted you two to go your separate ways, and now? Now you were angry, a sudden burst of frustration filling your veins at his reasoning behind wanting to end your relationship. Your heart aches as you exclaim, trying not to pay attention to the wetness forming along your lashes, “Excuse me? What the hell are you talking about?”
Boothill is back to refusing to look at you, so you try to move into his line of sight as you ask, your hands flailing about as you speak in a desperation-laced tone, “What, exactly, isn’t ‘good for me’ Boothill?”
He turns his head to look at you, standing up from where he had been sitting as he holds his hands out, trying to placate you as he says hastily, “Listen don’t – don’t get the wrong idea, alright?”
“How can I not get the wrong idea when you suddenly tell me you want to end our relationship!?” You yell back, feeling the tears begin to trickle down your cheeks. You were angry, sure, but the soul-crushing feeling of separating from the man you loved so deeply pierced your heart like a knife. Your frustration quickly began to be tainted with sorrow, your voice coming out softly as you ask him, your mind desperate for some kind of answer as you place a hand on your chest, “Did I… Did I do something for you to come to this decision?”
Panic floods his expression immediately as he reaches out, his hands resting on your shoulders as he leans down to look at your face. He quickly tells you, one of his hands coming up to gently cup your cheek as his thumb brushes away your tears, “No, no, no, no – you didn’t do anythin’, darlin’. You’ve been perfect in every way, I just…”
He pauses, gaze traveling to the ground as he thinks of what to say. His cold, metallic fingers against your skin are comforting to you in a way you couldn’t describe – comforting in a way no one else would be able to understand. Boothill’s eyes meet with yours once more as he continues speaking with a bittersweet smile, “You could do so much better than me, sweets. I don’t want to hold you back.”
The anger you had felt was suddenly back in full force as you asked him, brows furrowed as you questioned, “How?”
Your hands come up to hold onto his, the one that was still lovingly cupping your face as you ask, leaning forward toward him as you speak, “How could I do better than you? What are you holding me back from?”
Boothill shakes his head, saying with a frown, “There’s so many things I can’t give you… I can’t give ya a peaceful life, I can’t give ya a family…” His voice cracks slightly at the word, but he continues to speak as he begins to pull his hand away from your face, “You deserve someone who’s around more often – someone who can be there for ya whenever you need ‘em.”
Boothill chuckles bitterly, removing his hand from your grasp as walks over to grab his hat off of the nearby table, and you’ve never felt so cold and empty in your entire life. You watch helplessly as he places the hat on his head, staring as he begins to make his way toward the front door as he tells you, “You deserve someone who doesn’t cause you to jump every time their freezin’ cold hands touch ya – someone who can actually feel ya.”
You step toward him, reaching out to take his hand in yours and effectively stopping him in his tracks as you say firmly, “Boothill, shut the fuck up. Aren’t you going to at least ask me what I think about this?”
Boothill sighs, turning back around to look at you as he speaks. He doesn’t do anything to remove his hand from your grasp, instead gently squeezing it in a comforting manner as he tells you, “Listen, sweets, I just think it’s for the better that–…”
“No, it’s not.” You say, your voice strong despite the tears that had begun to flow down your face. You look up at him, bringing his hand to place on your chest as you tightly hold it over your heart, telling him firmly and genuinely despite the way your voice cracks, “I don’t care if you can’t give me those things. When did I even say that’s what I wanted in life?”
“Why wouldn’t you want that?” Boothill asks, looking down at you as if you had grown a second head, as if everything he said he couldn’t give you was something that everyone would want. He looks conflicted as he tells you, trying to take his hand back as he steps away from you and closer to the front door, “You deserve to be happy – you deserve to have someone who’s there for you.”
“What if all I want is you, huh?” You tell him, refusing to let go of his hand – refusing to let him leave your life in such a way. Your hold on Boothill’s hand was tight because you knew, deep down, if you let his hand slide out of yours, you’d never see him again. You look up at him as you speak, a spark of determination in your eyes which causes Boothill’s cheeks to flush a light shade of blue, “No one else can give me you. You’re the one that makes me happy – not some dream life, not some perfect family – just you.”
“You don’t want me, darlin’ – I promise, once I’m gone, you’ll move on an’ another lucky fella will have the honor of being able to love ya.” Boothill tells you with furrowed brows and a smile, his sharp teeth peeking out from behind his lips as he tries to convince you he’s not what you want. You could feel your eyebrow twitch in frustration at his words, your tears slowing down as you refute his claim.
“What part of ‘I want you, and only you’ do you not understand?” You ask him, a tinge of hurt and frustration mixed in your voice as you reach out to firmly hold both of his hands in your own. Boothill allows you to do so with no fanfare, a conflicted expression on his face; his fingers twitch in your hold. He watches as you close your eyes and take a deep breath, hesitating for a moment before once again looking at him as you whisper, “Listen, if you want to leave, I’m not going to stop you or hold you back, but…” You pause, smiling warmly at him before continuing, “but I want you. I want to be with you, not this hypothetical ‘fella’ you’ve envisioned who would give me a perfect life.”
Before Boothill could open his mouth to try and argue again, you quickly add on as you bring one of his hands to your lips, pressing a light kiss to his digits as you tell him, “I don’t care that you’re cold to the touch – I don’t care that we won’t have a picture-perfect life together…” You feel the tears beginning to form on your lashes again as you run your thumbs along his knuckles, telling him sincerely, “I’ve never imagined a future without you in it, love.”
Boothill looks down at you, his expression a clash between his adoration for you and the heaviness of the situation. He shakes his head, bringing one of your hands to his lips as he presses a kiss to the back of it as he tells you, voice uncharacteristically quiet as he admits, “I… I don’t want to leave, sweets. I just…” He hesitates as he makes eye contact with you, raising a brow as he once again gestures to himself as he asks, “Are you sure this is what ya want?”
“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my entire life,” You tell him, letting go of his hands as you instead wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you as your bodies press against one another. His arms wrap around your waist on instinct, pulling you close to him as you press your foreheads together. You stare into his eyes and bring a hand to his cheek, placing your palm against his face as you run your thumb along the skin under his eye. He leans into your touch, turning his head to kiss your palm as you tell him with a smile, “Rain or shine, good or bad… I want to be beside you throughout it all.”
“Heh, well… I’m glad I get to be by yer side.” Boothill says, opening his eyes once more to look at you. He leans forward, pressing a kiss to your temple as he whispers, almost as if he didn’t want the world to hear him – to keep this tender moment a secret between the two of you, “…Thank you for choosin’ me out of the rest of the blokes in the galaxy, darlin’. I’m a real lucky guy to have someone as wonderful as you.”
“I’d choose you in every universe, Boothill. That’s a promise.” You reply with a smile, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, almost as if you were teasing him.
He smirks at both your words and your actions, saying with a raised brow as he leans back, tilting his hat up with one finger as he speaks, “That’s quite a big promise there, darlin’. Sure you can keep it?”
“Oh, I’m sure.” You reply, matching his expression as you huff, “Don’t doubt me, cowboy.”
“I won’t, I won’t…” Boothill says with a chuckle. He pauses, his smile faltering slightly as he looks down at you. Your eyes were still slightly red, and the stains your tears had left on your cheeks were still present. He pulls you closer to him, nuzzling his face into your neck as he takes a deep breath in, muttering against your skin, “Aeons, I love ya… I love ya so fudgin’ much.”
“I love you, too, honey.” You reply softly, running your hand up and down his back when an idea pops into your mind. It was a mischievous one, and the mere thought of it causes a smirk to grow on your lips. You reach up and grab the hat from his head as you instead place it on yours, asking him flirtatiously, “Why don’t I show you just how much I love you?”
“Well… I certainly like the sound of that.” Boothill replies lowly, his eyes half-lidded as he gently caresses your face, smirking at his hat now resting atop your head. He leans down and kisses you, whispering against your lips in a sultry tone, “Plus, I’d like to apologize for makin’ you cry… Can I, darlin’?”
The tone of his voice was enough to make your heart start beating faster, and you could feel your cheeks begin to warm as you replied quickly with a simple, “Please do.”
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babymochibeargyu · 21 hours
Text
Game On, Gyu
pairing: jealous gamerbf!gyu x gamer!reader(reader is really down bad in love w gyu)
genre:fluff
requested by :✏️anon
prompt: Can u do a crybaby jealous beomgyu getting jealous at reader and reader comforts him, beomgyu cries on readers shoulders while cuddling? 🥹 just pure fluff ( a bit Angst ) 🥹
warnings: mention of kills in game sense, other than that nothing!!
a/n: btw I was wrecking my brain a bit when you said “getting jealous at reader”, my mind pretty much went blank on what Gyu could get jealous of reader(bcos it seemed like he has everything in life😭), and was playing around with the idea of maybe having a member involved which would make Gyu jealous instead(maybe a fic for another time hehe)
either way, I hope you enjoy this!!
wc:2.4k
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You frequently visited the PC cafe near your house as you couldn’t stand your mother’s nagging about you being too loud whenever you were playing games, hence it became your second home.
What made it even better was the in-house food ordering service; you could simply place an order and have it delivered right to your seat. It was like having everything you needed at your fingertips.
You weren’t sure what happened that particular day, maybe the worker was having a bad day and so it was probably an accident.
But the server who served your food had mixed it up with the person who was seated beside you.
Let’s just say you were the type of person who didn’t care for relationships, but after you laid eyes on the guy seated beside you, something went off in your brain.
As the screen light shined against his face, you thought that there was no way he could be real. How could he be so effortlessly handsome? Needless to say, you were in awe. And this was only his side profile?
With the mix-up of getting the wrong food, you guys had no choice but to interact and look at each other(which you were silently thanking the server for).
Now you can say that you finally fell in love at first sight.
There was no way a guy could be this handsome and cute at the same time.
The way his boba-like eyes met yours with that clueless yet endearing expression, accompanied by a slight head tilt.
Oh, bless your fucking heart.
When he received his food from you, he offered a shy yet charming smile, his eyes resembling crescent moons.
It took all your willpower to resist the urge to pinch his adorable cheeks as he turned back to his computer monitor.
Please you were so ready for him to be yours.
A gamer boyfriend? Yes, please.
Call it what you will, but you’re calling it fate.
You’ve been to this PC cafe more than your fingers can count and you’ve never seen him around before, maybe he was new.
And in your mind, you had already come up with scenarios of you and this hot, cute random stranger.
And while you guys were switching your food, you couldn’t help but look over at the guy’s screen, which you noticed was the same game you were playing.
And well the rest was history.
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Ever since then you and Gyu never had a day where you guys didn’t play computer games without each other.
You had a competitive spirit and so did Gyu. You can't recall who brought it up but you guys decided to compete for the title of the better gamer by playing PubG.
There was no other reward for it, just a title but oh you guys were dead serious about it.
You guys never had any serious fights, only teasing ones which in your relationship was how you both showed your love for each other.
There wasn’t a day that was filled with silence between you two and you loved it. All the playful banter being thrown around.
Oh how you adored this man.
“Baby… I’m sorry to say this but you’re going down. No hard feelings. You are still the no.1 female gamer in my heart even if you don’t win okay?” Gyu said confidently while still reassuring you.
“Pfft…Please if anyone is going down, it’s gonna be you my Gyutie patootie, I’m winning this.”
In all honesty, you were the better gamer(from the way of how Gyu’s friends act).
But of course you’ve never said it out loud in front of Gyu.
You would notice when his friends came over for game nights(to play Switch), they would always be fighting against one another just so that they can be on your team.
And since Gyu is the better player among his friends(excluding you)by default, he would end up becoming the other team’s captain, even though he always wanted to team up with you. And he would always give in to them because he loves his friends so much and wants them to have fun.
But you would always see your baby pouting when it happens. He was a literal angel.
Oh how you would literally just drop everything and give him all the love, showering him with kisses if his friends weren’t there. (Which you always end up doing anyways after his friends leave because you can’t help yourself)
He got you wrapped around his little finger.
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For those who are not familiar with how Pubg goes:
Basically, the objective is to be the last man standing(in this case with your team of 4 players).
While trying not to get killed, you need to equip yourself with weapons that are best suited to your ability.
You would also have to occasionally check the map, making sure you are within the safe zone at all times. Failure to do so will result in your health bar decreasing, causing your character to die outside the safe zone.
In the event of being shot, but not fully hurt until your teammate have to press the recover button, you are able to heal yourself with items like bandages, health aid kids, painkillers and drinks you find when you loot(search) the houses.(based on the actual game as i actually play it🤭)
with that let the games begin~
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Whoever has the most kills wins, bonus if they are the last man standing and kill the other in the game.
Y’all were playing in a team (against each other)with three other random queues that the game had assigned for you, so you weren’t sure how your team would fair.
But you didn’t worry that much because you knew that you were bout to eat this shit up.
When a character kills in the game, their user ID will be shown on the screen. And yours showed up mostly on both your screens throughout the game.
‘_________🔫 by ScarletShooter’ your ID appeared multiple times.
Your team was literally so impressed that they typed into the world chat for all the other players to see.
“Dang Scarlet let’s goooo🤙🏻”
“We bout to win this match.”
“How are you so good?”
What could you say? You were the jack of all trades.
If you thought you were great at close combat shooting, you were even better at sniping.
Once you find a Sniper 🤝🏻 4x/8x scope, that was it for your enemies. No one could escape your sight.
Gyu on the other hand was reading all these messages appearing on his screen and started to get even more fired up.
When the game first started he was being laid back, thinking that he had a lot of time to catch up and get more kills in the middle of the game.
But with every passing moment he delayed, the number for the survivor count was going down quickly…
You were taking everyone out 🤙🏻
Now the survivor count was at 45, meaning that there were 41 left for him to kill(excluding him and his teammates)
He wanted to win you in the game so badly, wanting the title of better gamer between you both.
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Honestly, he was doing better than expected(it must be thanks to you that he was feeling motivated.)
‘________🔫 by ScarletGyu’ yes… yall matched your IDs. Scarlet was the clan name because yall’s favourite Marvel character was Scarlet Witch.
You couldn’t help but feel proud when you saw his name on screen but had to occasionally remind yourself that you guys were currently fighting for the title of the better gamer.
Honestly you didn’t even want the title, you just wanted to see Gyu work hard for something he was passionate about.
But what fun would it be if he win so easily? Plus you would rather see a pouty Gyu. He was literally the cutest when he pouted. So that was your driving force now.
Title literally meant nothing.
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Total number of survivors: 7
You were now at 20 kills while Gyu had 15. There were 3 left on your team(including you) and Gyu had one more teammate alive(you guys didn’t know how many players each other had left).
In Gyu’s mind, he was assuming that you still had all 4 players alive and 1 single player who was roaming out there. Which he thought was enough to beat you if he were to take down all 5 of you(not knowing how many you have already killed).
While for you, you just wanted the game to end already. It has been about 30 minutes. You could say it was a slow game.
And it’s like your prayers were answered. One of your teammates had taken out two of the roaming enemies, not knowing that they weren’t from Gyu’s team.
But it finally seemed that the game would end.
With that, you took out your sniper and started scanning through the field. And there you saw someone familiar(you knew how Gyu’s character look like) peeking out from behind the tree (literally 2 kilometers away from you but you could see him clearly thanks to your scope).
You were thinking of teasing him a little. So you typed in your team chat to ask one of them to look for the other enemy to see whether the last two enemies were on the same team.
And well, your team was quick. They found the other enemy and knocked him out. You suddenly saw Gyu’s character running towards where the enemy got shot and that was it.
As Gyu tried to revive his teammate, you took the final shot. Claiming the chicken dinner and winning the title.
When Gyu died in game, he turned and looked at you with a sad pout. Stop he literally was about to cry.
He rose from his gaming station and made his way to the shared bed, where he sat down, pulling his knees to his chest and burying his face into his folded arms.
Without hesitation, you rushed to the bed, dropping to your knees in front of him as if pleading for forgiveness. Your arms reached out, gently touching his shoulders, ready to pull him into a comforting embrace.
Initially, he remained motionless, unmoved from his stance. However, as you tenderly began to give him head pats and apologize for causing his tears, he relented, surrendering to your embrace. Nuzzling his face into the curve of your neck, he enveloped you in a hug, holding on tightly as if he were a koala clinging to a tree.
Feeling uncomfortable with the current setup(you were literally still in the kneeling position), you decided to shift. You gently pulled Gyu down, maneuvering into a more comfortable arrangement where you could cuddle together. As he snuggled even closer to you, seeking warmth and comfort in your embrace.
As his sniffles softened, you debated whether to stop the gentle head pats. But when he didn't feel the next one, he pulled back slightly from the cuddle position, his teary eyes meeting yours.
"No stopping," he insisted, his voice tender.
"Gyu still wants head pwats." How could you refuse your baby?
You couldn't resist, he was too adorable. Your heart was melting. So you resumed giving him those comforting head pats.
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In the quiet stillness that enveloped you both, time seemed to stretch on for what felt like a good five minutes. It was a rare occurrence, considering that when the two of you were together, silence was usually a stranger.
As the last sniffles from Gyu faded away, his arms still wrapped around your waist, you gently pulled him back so that now, you were face to face.
With a soft smile, you planted a kiss on his lips, causing him to jump a bit in surprise, clearly not expecting the affectionate gesture.
"So, can we talk about why you cried?" you asked Gyu gently, your voice filled with concern.
He hesitated for a moment before finally admitting“Gyu was jeawous."
Fuck why he gotta be so cute.
"Oh, my baby, what were you jealous about?" you cooed.
"You were playing so well, weren't you? I noticed your name popping up so many times during our game," your voice was gentle and reassuring, aiming to comfort him and prompt him to open up about his feelings.
“B…but your name appeared more, and you even killed me. Now you got the title of the better gamer between us,” he said, his voice tinged with sadness.
Your heart sank at the sight of your baby's sadness; you initially thought it would just end with him being pouty, but it seemed that winning to earn the title meant a lot more to him.
"I don't even care about the title, Gyu. I just wanted to see you play with passion. If it would make you happy, you can have the title," you said, sincerely hoping to lift his spirits.
"I didn't mean for you to cry, you know? I'm sorry," you said softly, genuine remorse evident in your tone.
Gyu looked up, meeting your gaze with understanding eyes. "I know," he replied softly, his hands now gently cupping your cheeks, his touch warm and reassuring.
"So..., to make it up to me for making me cry, the next time the guys come over, I'm on your team. I'm never on your team when they're here." He said shyly while looking at you with his boba eyes.
"Aww is that all my baby wanted? Sure we can do that. Anything for my Gyutie patootie, bugaboo,snoogums." you replied with a chuckle, adding some playful pet names to lighten the mood.
"God, you know I love you so much? My heart feels like it's about to burst out of my chest. I just needed to let you know how much I love you, Gyu," you whispered, your voice filled with tenderness and affection.
Gyu's cheeks flushed with a rosy hue as he gazed at you lovingly. "I love you too, more than words can express," he replied softly, his heart overflowing with warmth and adoration for you.
"Thank you for loving me, Gyu," you whispered, pulling him close as you both drifted into a peaceful slumber, wrapped in the warmth of each other's embrace.
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Please tell me I did good(I want some praises pwease🥹), I hope I did >_< and I hope this is up to your expectations. I had such a fun time writing this ahh, was super cute to write too. Missed writing fluff content so much😭.
Once again if you enjoyed this please give it a like/reblog/follow if you wanna see more fluff content from me. See you in the next one lovelies🥹🫶🏻🤍
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softboo · 2 days
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love me, ever so gently - part IV
pairing: austin x reader
summary: you recently moved to a new apartment, making some new eccentric friends along the way. but what you didn't expect was falling in love with a stranger. a stranger you somehow couldn't stop thinking about
words: 4.8k
warnings: depictions of alcohol, certain scenes that pertain to dark themes of domestic abuse in relationships, *minors please don't interact*
author's note: hiii here is the next part of the story... i genuinely have no words to describe how grateful i am that there are people out there who have fallen in love with this story as much as i have. i'm still debating whether or not i'll write more just because i still want to live in this world lol. but thank you so much for all your support. it really means a lot to me and i am forever grateful :3 hope you enjoy <3
previous part
part IV
you groaned as you woke up, yet again, to a blaring headache and the door being pounded on. and you couldn't figure out which one was coming from where. you slowly eased yourself up out of bed, which made you feel even worse, shuffling yourself along for a million years before you answered the door.
"wow... you look like you got hit by a bus again."
george's voice rang in your ears. you could've sworn you had your eyes open, but it felt like they were closed. you tried to glare at him, but everything in your face felt numb. cassandra and evelyn caught up with him and both exchanged a look of concern.
"george, i think we need to talk to her alone."
he glanced over at cassandra and then back to you, the joy in his eyes disappearing for a brief moment. he just nodded in response, obliging without fighting them. you suddenly felt this wave of emptiness as you saw him walk away, whispering to cassandra before leaving.
and a part of you wished you never heard it, but you did.
"get our favorite girl back. i don't see her anymore."
~ ~
the silence hung low between the three of you, as you swirled your spoon meaninglessly in the mug. you glanced down at yourself, feeling as if you've sat here before in this exact situation just a few days ago. but then again, when have they not tried to get you out of your apartment.
"my love, i think it's time for you to move on." cassandra began, her soothing tone compensating for the bluntness of her statement. you just aimlessly nodded to her request, which was something she grew familiar with after the third or fourth day.
your empty promises were piling up and it was only a matter of time before it actually had to have meaning behind it.
"come with us tonight to the movies," evelyn suggested, offering her hand for you to take. "it'll be a great way for you to get your mind off of him."
your heart sunk even deeper when they mentioned him again, that night flooding your thoughts as you were reminded of what was going to happen tomorrow. it was inevitable.
she was inevitable.
"please love, you need to get out of this apartment. you can't just stay here and wait until they come back."
you scoffed at such a thought, thinking of what a sight that would be seeing them come back together from the airport, pretending you were preoccupied with anything else that wasn't him.
evelyn's hand still laid on the table, waiting patiently for you to reconsider the option of coming. of just going with them for once instead of drowning yourself in another day of being alone.
you hesitated for a moment, glancing at cassandra and then to evelyn. the thought of him being reunited with her made your heart sting, but you knew being physically here when they did arrive would ultimately make you feel even worse.
so you took everything in yourself to consider the possibility of actually being okay again.
and you slowly let your hand fall into hers and gave the smallest smile in the world.
"okay. i'll go."
~ ~
"are you ready sweetie?" cassandra called back to you, as the three of them waited outside of your apartment.
you checked your reflection once more, letting your hair flow freely and naturally down to frame your face. and a maroon dress that cassandra and evelyn insisted that you wear.
and for the first time in weeks, you felt beautiful, elegant, and untouchable. like all those days of being alone and rumminating on your feelings dissipated into nothingness behind you.
like heartbreak anniversaries were no longer written on your calendar.
you stepped into some heels before meeting them at the door, blushing immensely as they looked at you.
"there's our favorite girl."
george's voice broke a little as he dramatically wiped his eyes for tears that weren't there yet. cassandra walked towards you, her hands taking yours as she gently caressed your cheek and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.
"you look lovely sweetie," her voice giving you a familiar comfort to your heart.
"so do you," you smiled back as you all gazed at everyone's attire.
george insisted on wearing something formal, wanting to make your little outing a special occasion. according to him, it was a great excuse to wear his suit again. and according to cassandra, it was the only suit he owned, which was from their wedding day.
"alright you old folks, let's go!" george bellowed, letting out that same laugh from when you met him for the first time. cassandra smacked him in the arm before he responded with a sweet kiss on her cheek. evelyn offered her arm for you to hold as you all went downstairs.
and you didn't even look at his apartment.
~ ~
"you have everything right?" cassandra asked george, who was very insistant on being responsible for the tickets. the showing was for one of their favorite old hollywood movies, you weren't sure which, but you were as excited as them to see it.
when you all entered the old theater, the employees shot you a complete and utter face of confusion as you all roared into the empty area wearing the most elegant attire. not many people knew of the showing, which was why the entire theater was relatively empty.
as you all settled into your seats, a sudden wave of calmness came over you as it started to sink in that you weren't there to just forget about him. you were there to spend time with your friends as well. their voices echoed in such a big theatre, not even minding the few stares and looks they got from some of the people there.
"george you're stepping on me again."
"can you pass the popcorn please? no, i want the whole bucket."
"evelyn, i can't see anything. what are you pointing at?"
it wasn't long until the lights completely disappeared and you were swallowed by the darkness that surrounded you in the theater, all of you eager and excited for the film to begin.
that calmness and comfort slowly took over and you suddenly felt at ease with being there, with your friends, and the world you were going to enter inside that movie theater.
~ ~
"goodnight everyone!" you echoed from the top of the staircase. you vaguely heard a reply from evelyn who was on the second floor as the other two were already calling it early. you waved frantically at evelyn from the bottom, who mimicked that same overdramatic wave from the movie. you couldn't help but laugh.
"go to bed already! i want to sleep!" she screamed back at you, flashing a smile at your little figure from above.
you gave her one final goodbye wave for the night, feeling like an entirely new person after spending time with them. you couldn't even stop smiling as you replayed the little remarks all of you made after the movie ended. the way evelyn was so certain of her theory, while george laughed at how the romance didn't make any sense. and cassandra, she fell in love with the film as much as you did.
as you stopped at your floor, your heart dropped from your chest.
austin was there, sitting outside his door like he'd forgotten something. his hair looked disheveled, the blonde messiness matching his loose tie and unbuttoned dress shirt. it was the first time you'd seen him since that night, the memories drowning you in an endless sea.
"hey, are you okay?"
he looked up to find who spoke and you saw those oceans come alive once more, like a second home to your heart. his expression was as shocked and confused as yours, his eyebrows furrowed to try to make sense of you actually being there. after so many days of avoiding him, he had the right to contemplate if your existence was even real to him.
"yeah, i'm okay."
there was an emptiness there and something pulling at your heart. you didn't believe him.
"can i join you?"
"of course," and he moved over for you to sit next to him on the floor. his doormat being a cushion you were both sharing.
"you look nice... did you go somewhere?"
his low tone still sent ocean waves through your body, like he was inviting you all over again. something you convinced yourself for days that you never needed, but somehow he still had a hold on your heart. and you melted right into his hands.
"oh, thank you," your voice merely a whisper in the air, "i came back from the movie theater."
austin looked at you amused, a small smile forming.
"you wore a formal dress to the movies?"
you nodded, "yeah, because i wasn't feeling like myself for the past few days."
it was like you struck a chord in him because he turned to look at you, wanting to figure out what was making you feel that way. but he didn't know how to ask.
"and how do you feel now?"
"better."
something in the way you held yourself in that regard, knowing when to pick yourself back up. he admired that about you, wishing he could maybe do the same.
there was a shared silence between you both before he spoke again.
"do you remember that night... in your apartment?"
you felt everything inside you go numb as he mentioned it. because no matter how long you tried to forget that it happened, he remembered for you.
"yes..."
he let out a soft sigh, as you noticed the way he tensed up a bit. stiffening his stature and playing with the cloth of his dress shirt.
"did you really mean what you said? about my girlfriend..."
you closed your eyes at his statement, the way she still lingered between you two. you mustered up that same strength from before, a lie you repeated to yourself because he wasn't yours to begin with.
"yes, i meant it. she's lucky to have someone like you in her life."
something about you saying it again didn't seem to convince him at all.
"you say that but i don't feel lucky."
you turned to him, looking at his prominent expression of utter defeat. like he'd given up on something. you could see the oceans drying out in his eyes.
"what do you mean?"
and it was like he felt his bruises again, clutching his torso like he was protecting himself. he couldn't look at you.
"austin?"
you saw him soften a bit when he heard your voice, letting it sink in that he was here with you and not her.
you hesitated for a moment, knowing fully well you were going to overstep a boundary and meet him at the bottom of the ocean.
"does she hurt you?"
you felt your heart speed up in anticipation for his answer. he met your gaze for a split second before both of you turned to the elevator, hearing its normal ding.
and out came the last person you wanted to see.
his girlfriend walked out with her long dark red hair flowing effortlessly behind her. she was carrying her bags and screamed when she saw him.
"austin my love!! surprise!! i came back early!!"
a squeal that stung at your ears as she dropped her bags and flung herself into him, ultimately pushing you to the side. she eagerly covered him in messy kisses, like she was marking territory.
like she was marking property.
when she finally let go and austin gave her a weak smile, she eyed you with a suspicious look on her face. that somehow you offended her by merely your presence.
"i didn't realize there was help working late at night."
you clenched your jaw at her sudden assumption of your position. a fire igniting once more inside your chest and you wanted her to walk right through it.
"she's not an employee." austin stated firmly, his face tightening at her insult.
your eyes widened at him and how he held his ground when defending you.
"she's my—"
"well love, whatever she is, she has no purpose in staying here with you. let alone, no reason to be in your life."
she flashed you that creepy little grin that stretched too far on her face, pulling austin closer to her, tightening her grip thinking if she ever gave him a chance to breathe, he'd escape.
"not sure where you belong sweetie, but it's definitely not here."
she purposely shoved you to the side, dragging austin along with her. soon enough, she slammed the door on your face like last time.
and all that was left were her forgotten bags in the hallway, the blinding rage boiling inside of your heart, and the fire that lingered near the ocean.
~ ~
you stared at your ceiling, thoughts racing in your head of what you could've done. what else could you have said. you glanced over at your clock, sighing in disappointment as the numbers barely changed. it was exactly eleven minutes since you last checked, now reading a dreadful 2:16am.
you hated this feeling, of wanting to do something but not being able to. of wanting to save him from something that you knew he had to save himself from. cassandra's words from before rang right in your ears again:
are you doing this because you care about him or because you like him?
did there really have to be a difference?
you felt so frustrated that somehow after two weeks, he still had a space in your heart. no matter how many times you let the alcohol numb you sometimes or how many times you stayed in your apartment watching reruns of your favorite movies and shows.
it all ended the same. your heart was screaming at you for it.
and yet, just when you finally had a chance to drift off into sleep, you heard a noise.
you sat up quickly, facing where the sound came from. you glanced down at the clock, which barely moved, now reading 2:20am. you slowly lowered yourself back to bed dismissing the sound until it repeated again, multiple times.
it was a knock, faint but you knew what you heard.
you slowly got up from your bed, walking slowly to the main door, hearing that faint noise again. there was an occasional loud sound, but the smaller ones were more consistent.
as you slowly approached the door, it was like the stranger on the other side heard your footsteps and for a moment, you heard the sudden weight of something leaning on the door. you froze, but soon enough you heard the faintest voice in the world.
"i don't know if you're awake... but if you are, it's austin."
your eyes widened when you heard his voice, quickly opening the door for him.
and you saw him, dressed entirely in black. his hoodie covering his face a bit and his sweats covered in something that you couldn't really see. his breath stopped for a moment as he saw you, his entire body suddenly relaxing into you. his head falling on your shoulder as if his body was about to give out, his face nuzzling right at your neck.
and you felt this overwhelming wave of warmness hit you, not being able to hide the blush that appeared on your cheeks.
"i... i didn't know where else to go..."
your breath hitched at the realization. at the worst possible scenario. because everything you were thinking about was true. because it happened. and he was all the proof you needed.
you quickly shut the door behind you as he leaned right up against you. you wanted to be so careful with him, being in such a fragile state. you thought about putting him in your bed, but he couldn't hold himself up much longer and soon enough, he collapsed onto the floor leaning up against the door.
"i'm so sorry for..."
"you don't have to be sorry for anything austin... really. i mean it."
he just nodded, wincing at the minimal movement he made with responding to you.
you sat with him, gently taking his hood off from his face and bracing yourself to see what he had to endure before seeing you.
and you felt the tears come as you saw what was left of him.
his eyes were swollen, bruised. he had cuts all over his face that somehow went down his neck. there were more bruises down his arms and a decent amount of blood coming from each and every little scar that decorated his body.
but what made you feel even worse was the lack of water in his eyes. there were no longer raging oceans swimming with life or the blueness that covered the endless body of water. it was empty. dry. like a desert.
and yet, when he saw you looking at him, truly looking at his scars and still trying to find the beauty in him, he couldn't help but give you the smallest smile in the world. he noticed your eyes water and gently grazed his thumb on your cheek to wipe it away.
"don't cry... i'm going to be okay, i promise."
you wanted to hate him, that somehow even when he's the one holding all these bruises and scars, he still had the strength to comfort you.
but you couldn't hate him. not one little sliver of anything inside of you could hate him.
~ ~
austin woke up slowly, his head pounding in his ears as he rubbed against his temple. he had to blink a few times to realize that he wasn't in his own apartment at all. and somehow he fell asleep on the floor. he tried to get up, but noticed a shadow of someone next to him. and it was you.
and the moment he saw you, everything from last night came rushing through him. the stumbling into your apartment, the way you complimented his cologne, you kicking him out from trying to help you change, and the last thing you said to him before he drifted off to sleep.
"your girlfriend is so unbelievably lucky to have you."
it was something that should've initially made him feel grateful because it was true... wasn't it? so then why did it feel like his chest was suffocating on air?
the memories and the alcohol were mixing together, he couldn't make sense of his emotions. what all of this meant to him.
but what he did know was how much you meant to him. he just couldn't decide where you stood in his life yet.
he found it quite amusing that you wanted him to leave, that you were very adament that he couldn't sleep here. and yet, you collapsed right beside him on the floor.
he checked his phone briefly, a bright 4:32am appeared on the screen. he knew he couldn't stay here, but he also knew it would be rude to leave you on the floor.
and so, he gently crouched down next to you and tucked his arms right under you, lifting you up. making sure your head was leaning on his chest, he slowly walked towards your bed and laid you there under the blankets.
he looked at you for a moment before leaving, letting it sink in that you might not even remember where you fell asleep.
and a part of him hurt when the thought crossed his mind.
~ ~
"george... can i ask you something?" austin began as they finished packing up evelyn's cooking supplies from her latest class. george beamed at him, leaning against the boxes on the counter, waiting patiently for him to continue.
"of course elvis my boy! you can ask me anything!"
he hesitated before speaking, thinking it was too invasive to ask, but he had to know if what he was feeling was normal.
or if he was genuinely crazy.
"how did you know... you wanted to marry cassandra?"
george stared at him, his eyebrows furrowing to a point. the question took him off guard, something he never quite expected from austin, but he couldn't help smiling at the thought of his wife and how they first met.
"well..." his voice drifted to piece together all the right words, "i knew i wanted to be with her for the rest of my life when she took me as i am."
george's loudness became merely a softness when he spoke about cassandra and austin could feel that sense of love radiating off of his friend. george began animating his life with her, the way she always seemed to be there whenever he spoke about his passions, and how cassandra fully accepted him as himself.
"usually, people say they drift apart during a marriage because their partner changed. but for me, i just wanted to be there through every changing moment."
george gave him a warm smile, as his words weighed heavy in austin. he lingered on the thought, the possibility of fully letting himself dive into those waters. letting his heart sink into something completely unfamiliar, knowing somehow, somewhere, you would be there sitting with him right at the bottom.
willingly. voluntarily.
along with something else he wasn't ready to face yet, nor was his heart ready to resurface among calm waters.
"thank you..." austin drifted, his voice shrinking smaller and smaller as it disappeared into the walls of the kitchen. it wasn't long until he pulled george into a warm hug, fully appreciating the story his friend shared.
"anything for my boy, you know that."
george's voice slightly broke, feeling as if austin wasn't being fully honest with him or to himself rather. like there was something else hidden under those waters.
it wasn't long until george broke the kind gesture, holding austin firm right on the shoulders, a reminder of his strength. that there was something in austin that he wasn't yet ready to face.
"you're still going to the movies with us right?"
austin blanked at his question, scrambling for the words to answer. he wasn't sure if he should, but he knew that this was his only chance to see you before she came back into his life tomorrow.
that there was a sliver of a possibility that you would be sitting next to him again.
he let out a soft sigh and smiled.
"of course i am."
~ ~
she pulled austin, hard, her face burning with a fire that dried out the oceans in his eyes.
"and you had the nerve to make plans on the day i was coming back."
"i didn't ask for you to come early."
her emotions were boiling over now as she pushed him against the door, her face contorting into a scowl.
"and what does she even have that i don't? what's wrong with me then?"
she paced around the kitchen now, grabbing whatever glass container they had and throwing it on the ground. each one breaking into tiny little pieces.
and all austin could do was stand near the door and take it.
"tell me what's wrong with me then austin. TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG."
her screams echoed across their apartment, drowning him in an endless noise. he clenched his jaw as he mustered enough energy to say something back. because anything would be better than nothing.
"you never fell in love with me. you fell in love with my name."
she paused, her red hair messily laid behind her. her hand gripping the last few glasses they had left as she aimed it right at austin.
"your name? bullshit, i've been there through everything. you're MY everything. she's NOTHING."
"but you don't know anything about me."
and he knew he struck a chord when her eyes began to water. she screamed at him again, a high pitched screech that killed his ears. she threw something else at him, but it didn't matter. he wasn't looking anymore.
she approached him now, holding whatever else she could find to use against him.
"and what makes you say that austin?"
she scrambled to find anything as leverage to use against him, to show she still had power over him.
but she didn't.
"because you never chose me. and i will always choose her."
~ ~
you gently pressed the wet towel against his forehead, soaking up whatever was left of his scars. he closed his eyes to your touch, letting you take control of everything. your legs tangled into each other as you sat together on your bed.
there was something so natural with the way you took care of him, bandaging his wounds, and icing the bruises on his skin.
like you'd been doing this for years.
and he would let you do it forever if he could.
"austin?"
"yes?" his eyes fluttered open to your voice.
"you're not going back there with her right...?" your voice merely just a whisper, feeling as if your words were passing a boundary.
a boundary that you didn't know no longer existed.
he shook his head no, smiling weakly, still trying to remain strong in front of you.
"then stay with me."
your heart speaking faster than your mind could catch up and you panicked at the words. you were so preoccupied by how embarrassed you felt that you didn't notice how red austin had gotten as well.
"i mean... you can sleep on the bed and i can take the couch," you quickly corrected yourself and austin let out a small laugh. something you haven't heard in weeks.
"it's okay, i can take the couch. this is your apartment after all."
there was a calm silence between you two, as you slowly finished placing the last bandage on, pressing the adhesive gently on his skin. and as you leaned back to fully look at him, you could still see the marks that she left behind on him, even when you tried to cover it.
she still lingered in the air between you.
and because of that, your eyes began to water again.
austin quickly reacted, seeing the way you moved away from him. like you were afraid to break him.
"what's wrong?" his voice wavering as you searched through everything to find the right things to say. to find anything to say.
"i just... i don't understand people who hurt people, especially when it's someone like you."
the way you reacted swelled something in his heart and all he could think about was finding a way to comfort you. to take your pain away.
and so, he pulled you towards him, where you were tangled up into each other again. pain shot down through his body at the effort, but he didn't care. he just wanted to ease your pain.
his hand reached your cheek, gently placing a strand of hair behind your ear. and he leaned in to take away the distance between you two, as his lips met yours.
and he kissed you.
the kiss was so soft, so comforting. and you melted right into him like your heart had always wanted to for all those months, since the first time you met him.
he pulled you closer to him, as if there was even a sliver of something keeping you two from being together. he held your face in his hands, easing himself into you gently.
he was so afraid to hurt you, but there was something about the way you explored him, the fragility of your touch against his skin. it felt so unfamiliar yet comforting to his heart.
and yet, it broke yours.
he let himself get lost in you, the warmness surrounding him as you caught every little drop of water from falling into the abyss at the bottom.
the way your fingertips grazed each and every little scar, every bruise, like you were reassuring him. acknowledging its presence but knowing, it would never define him.
you slowly let go, fully gazing into his eyes and seeing those oceans coming alive again, just by the way he was looking back at you. and you saw something that you only wished to see months ago.
love.
his fingers wiped the remaining tears from your cheeks as yours just traced little circles around his, ending right at his lips again. your bodies tangled into each other once more, as you played with his hair.
he closed his eyes again to your touch and you saw him smile.
and it was one of the most beautiful things you've ever seen.
he gently caressed your cheek, gazing at you like he was afraid to lose you. like he was afraid to forget you.
"stay with me... please."
his voice wavered, as if he doubted that your heart would ever let you leave him.
"always."
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kakyoinmonth · 2 days
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Introducing Kakyoin Month 2024!
Welcome to Kakyoin Month 2024! A month dedicated to Kakyoin Noriaki from Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, focusing on his character, evolution, and interactions with others. This also doubles as a birthday celebration, since all we have for his birthday date is his zodiac sign (Leo). The month has been broken up into four different weeks and a finale. Please feel free to pick and choose what days/weeks/etc you wish to participate in – you don’t have to do it all!
The prompts are as follows:
Week 1: Variation
Day 1: Part 3
Day 2: Part 4 au
Day 3: Part 5 au
Day 4: Part 6 au
Day 5: OVA
Day 6: Irene-verse
Day 7: SBR-verse
Week 2: Friends and Family
Day 8: Jotaro
Day 9: Joseph
Day 10: Avdol
Day 11: Polnareff
Day 12: Iggy
Day 13: Family
Day 14: Hierophant Green
Week 3: Character
Day 15: Screenshot redraw/alternate palette/missing scene
Day 16: Hair noodle/scarf/wide mouth
Day 17: Sand/water/blood
Day 18: Sunglasses/fashion/gems
Day 19: Dreams/knives/dogs
Day 20: Art/anthropology/video games
Day 21: Water tower/clocks/night
Week 4: Headcanons/Favorites
Day 22: Favorite romantic or platonic pairing
Day 23: Pride (sexuality/gender headcanons)
Day 24: Favorite color
Day 25: Favorite music
Day 26: Favorite animal
Day 27: Job/career/hobby
Day 28: Favorite fashion/aesthetic
Finale:
Day 29: Scars/disabilities/blood
Day 30: Message/pride/flaw
Day 31: Knowledge/love/triumph
Current rules are as follows:
No NSFW for this project! Dirty jokes are allowed, so long as they aren’t too graphic, but limited nudity and no sex!
Do NOT participate if you are “proship”/“anti-anti”/"profiction"/etc. Beyond the given moral complications, the moderator has experienced personal issues in their life that make it so they don’t want to work creatively with proshippers — so if nothing else, respect that.
No EARLY submissions please, but LATE submissions are 100 percent allowed! Hell, if you see this two years after it’s over and still want to participate, or if it takes you two years to finish a submission, please do still submit and tag!
Submissions must be related to prompts, but for days with multiple prompts, such as days 15-21/27-31, you do not need to incorporate every prompt listed! For example, if you have an idea for "sunglasses" but not "fashion" or "gems" on day 18, please feel free to only focus on the "sunglasses" prompt! There is no need to include everything. There are multiple prompts listed just so there are plenty of options to draw inspiration from.
That's it! Please feel free to reply, send an ask, DM, etc if you have a question! More information and all the answers to any questions that may arise can be found on this Google doc: https://docs.google.com/document/d/19ySJ9Xnjc0Um7I3NHYZIeCuh_Rjkc_PuCNB4PrGSLts/edit?usp=sharing
Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy Kakyoin Month 2024!
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stffed · 5 hours
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the wife - senshi x male reader
warnings: gender assumptions, really bad banner quality
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"senshi, did you always have that ring?" asked marcille. they had just left the second floor and were making their way to the third when marcille noticed the shiny iron band on his ring finger.
"yeah, i have," senshi said. he turned around to look at the group. "are we alright to make a stop on the way? i told my wife that i'd bring back some supplies. my base is close by."
laios nodded. "yeah, that should be fine." he stopped walking for a minute. "you have a wife?!"
senshi nodded, walking past the shocked trio. he sighed to himself. he knew that they would have questions about his wife and that's why he didn't tell them. it had been so long since he had interacted with people that weren't his wife, the orcs or the people he traded with. maybe he had just forgotten to mention it to them in order to avoid their questions.
it wasn't long before they reached his secret base. senshi could practically feel their anticipation to see his wife. he pulled back the curtain and smiled. "i'm home."
laios, marcille and chilchuck looked over his shoulder. in their minds they had conjured up many different variations of senshi's wife. would she be a stocky and robust dwarf - the fighter to his lover? or would she be an educated gnome - the one to supply senshi with the knowledge of which monsters were good to eat?
"darling, i was so worried about you."
to their surprise, their widened eyes landed on a handsome elf man. you were his wife?!
you leant down to bring senshi into a hug. he flushed while you peppered kisses all over his face. "after you didn't come back for the first few days, i began to worry that you died. i was just about to make my way up to the first floor to look for you."
"i'm sorry that i worried you," senshi wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you in tighter. his voice was low and sincere. it always managed to send shivers down your spine.
both of you pulled apart but not without one last kiss from you. his blush had died down and he seemed to beam at you. senshi stood to the side and pointed at the gaping trio. "i ran into some adventurers on the way. this is laios, marcille and chilchuck. they're hoping to defeat a red dragon to save laios' sister and i decided to help them."
you stood up, dusting off your apron. "i do apologise for not greeting you sooner. i've just been so worried about my senshi. my name is y/n and i am senshi's wife."
they noticed the glint of the iron band on your ring finger. it was matching with senshi's own ring.
"but you're a man? an elf man?" said marcille. her voice shook with disbelief.
"in dwarvish culture, the one who proposes becomes the husband while the one who gets proposed to become the wife," senshi explained. he shrugged off his pack and dropped it in the corner. you followed after him and began unpacking it.
"he proposed to me three years ago and we got married the day after." you put away some spices into a cupboard. the trio noticed a relatively large bedroll in one corner of the room. a dreamy look crossed your face as you remember your wedding. "my senshi has always been quite the romantic."
laios, marcille and chilchuck shared a look between them. neither you nor senshi noticed as you were to busy fussing over him, checking for any cuts or bruises. at one point you stopped and he brought you in for a kiss. it was short but still sweet. it wasn't really their place to judge senshi for having an elf man for his wife. after all, they had their own secrets that they hadn't shared with each other yet.
chilchuck dreaded the day the party had to meet his own wife.
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amourjins · 2 days
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i'm having pov!aeri thoughts rn so i'm sharing them
pov!aeri who likes to give little gifts to y/n. flowers, stuffed animals, lego structure of something y/n likes, etc. likes sending them hoping she can make y/n's day better and make her smile!!!
loser!pov!aeri who can't sleep one night so she's ends up being bored, all pouty bc she'a missing her gf, and then comes up with the most WONDERFUL idea to facetime y/n at like 2 in the morning. y/n answering the call, asking aeri if something was wrong and then the loser says "i just miss you" and then all of a sudden y/n is wide awake and all her attention is on her gf now. then she takes a good look at aeri's appearance.
aeri's wearing pajamas with cute cartoons on them, a headband like in that one recent live ykyk, a stuffed animal in her arms (you cannot tell me this loser doesn't sleep with a stuffed animal), or maybe she's building a new lego set she had recently bought.
loser!pov!aeri who -during her's and y/n's secret dating era- gets jealous whenever she sees someone getting a little too close tp y/n for her liking, and going all quiet and sad because she can't go do anything since they're not out to anyone yet. but!!!! she ends up becoming really clingy towards y/n when their alone, refusing to tell her why she's being so clingy but ends up giving in and rambling about hwo she got jealous and that's why she's being clingy.
y/n teasing her for it, making aeri look at her with big puppy eyes with a pout :(((
but y/n ends up just pulling aeri into her arms, RUNS HER FINGERS TO HER HAIR BC AERI LOVES WHEN Y/N DOES IT, and reassuring her that there's no one she'll ever love the way she love's her :((( my turn when
that's all for tonight!!! i'll comeback with more soon ;)
OKAY YES. pov!aeri nd her love language being gift giving + acts of service. like its just “i got you this,” “i built you this,,” left and right to yn!!! yn’s room is filled with aeri’s gifts n her lego sets that she built for her Hjsjsjsslaosjxnxsosis
wait WAIT WAIT HEAR ME OUT bc yn tetxing aeri that shes getting her nails done n aeri texting back like
(a) — how much?
(yn) - $75! why?
(a) — [apple pay of $150] ,, show me what it looks like after, pretty girl 💕
THIS SONF. (sorry i love piwon) + late night calls w/ loser!pov!aeri n pov!yn,, nd YES the stuffed animals.. literally has a whole setup of them on her bed + her gaming desk.. maybe yn at aeri’s house n she looks over at aeri’s bed, seeing sm plushies n stuffed animals. yn sees one that catches her eye.. (its a black cat that yn thinks resembles aeri methinks!)
“can i take one?” yn would say out of nowhere!!!
“..huh?”
“i want one,”
“okay,”
aeri’s staring at yn confused, yn walking over n taking the black cat that caught her eye!!! (she sleeps w it every night.. maybe cs it has aeri’s signature perfume on it..)
BACK TO THE LATE NIGHT CALL!!!! the pajamas lmfao 😭 on call, aeri’s searching for something and then she magically pulls out a fucking lego set?? like girl its 2am i dont think you need to be building legos rn..
ororor maybe she decides to play games n shares her monitor screen so yn can watch!!! :3 (even though shes eepy n doesnt understand half the things shes doing)
YES aeri getting possessive n jealous whenever someone gets too close up to yn.. or maybe yn interacting with one of her friends!
aeri glaring DAGGERS at whoever the someone (..possibly jake) is, wanting to kill tjem!!!
when theyre in private, aeri having her hands all over yn after the whole tjikf?? saying shit like “tell them to get off of you,” while still being pouty !!!
aeri digging her head into yn’s shoulder nd having her arms around yn’s waist.. oops going insane!
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eueuphoriaz · 2 days
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Levi's heart (Part 1)
I have been hesitating on this analysis because there are so many layers to Levi's character, and so many people have analysed Levi down to his molecular cells. It has taken me weeks to organise the information and trying to make sense of them and I think I am now much clearer about the doubts that I have.
So, I have read many Levihan analysis about how the word "heart" lies above Hange in Chapt 139, which is parallel to the chapter title "Hearts", which is the first time Levi and Hange were introduced to each other.
Now, my cynical and critical mind started to question, what is the link there? Could it be just the placement and coincidence? This thought led me to think very deeply about Levi's heart. And this is going to be at least a 3 part post because Levi is such a layered and deep and mysterious character that I have gotten lost in trying to understand him based on the manga and anime.
I intend to organise this into 3 separate posts:
1) No regrets OVA
2) The transition between post-Erwin and monologue when he is looking for Zeke at the final battle
3) Last speech to the vets in Chapt 139.
Of course, I wear heavy Levihan goggles because the "hearts" parallel is what got me curious to do some investigation into this area. I may have missed out other important analysis or snippets of information, so if I do, please kindly point out to me. Once again, these are all my own points of view and let's agree to disagree, if that ever happen.
Along the way, I may digress because there are some other Levihan crumbs that I picked up, but I will mention them in other posts.
Let's start
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So, I started to look back at the very first time when Levi is introduced to the idea of "hearts". It was in the No Regrets OVA and it should be noted that Levi, when he was first recruited into the Survey Corps, he had not intention of enlisting at all.
Now, there are a lot of influences that he received. Most of the scenes have been cut out from the anime but if you look at the manga, there are a lot of his inner thoughts which gives an insight about the changes in his thought process.
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Erwin and Levi's interaction on his first titan kill
So first up, the very first mention of "Dedicating hearts" to Levi was from Erwin, and it happened when Levi is watching guard while Furlan and Isabel went to search for the document.
We see Erwin complimenting Levi's skills.
"....you are a natural.... others feel safer...."
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Levi then looked shocked and downplay his skills, mentioning that his success was built upon another soldier's death.
Then Erwin took this chance to talk about the bigger picture of sacrifice and "dedicating heart"
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This interaction ended with Isabel coming along and taking Levi away. But the seed of the "hearts" have been planted.
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Hange appears
Now, this is the part I tried to link "hearts" and what it means to Levi. Of course Levihan alert!
So, we know that after the interaction with Erwin, Levi, Furlan and Isabel were discussing about their plans when Hange intrudes.
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I wont mention more about her excitement and kindness when she approached him. So, while Levi was still digesting what Erwin told him about "hearts" and "sacrifices", Hange came over and complimented on his strength.
Now, Erwin also complimented Levi's success. Erwin then planted the seed of "dedication" and "sacrifices" in Levi. Hange, on the other hand, wanted to know Levi's strength so that the soldiers can fight better. I find Levi's responses to both Erwin and Hange here very interesting.
- When Erwin mentioned that Levi is a natural, Levi attributed it to him learning from how other people fight.
- When Hange told Levi that he had given other hope that they can fight better, Levi basically accepted her compliment and did not know how to engage further.
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Now, going back to this panel when they first saw a titan, Levi also had thought that the soldiers are using lousy skills to engage the titan. So I am guessing that there already is a connection when Hange mention the soldiers could learn to fight better from him. However, the Ackerman strength is instinctual so I am thinking that while Levi recognised a certain connection/ agreement with Hange, he really cannot explain how he had done it.
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This is where I think thats why he said he didnt want to be responsible for anyone else's lives. After digesting what Erwin said, that the Survey Corps is built upon selfless sacrifices, and that no one will regret dedicating their hearts, he encountered Hange, who wanted to know how to fight better from him (and likely increasing her chances to dedicate her heart). I am guessing that he is putting 2 and 2 together and did not want to be the reason for more sacrifices because he knows that Hange, and probably the other soldiers, are ready to die, based on what Erwin said about "dedicating hearts".
Now, probably at this point in time, Levi did not understand the why. But I am guessing that he felt something strong enough to want to avoid it. And I am guessing it could be some form of emotional attachment. At this point in time, the 3 of them are still thinking about getting the document and completing their job, so my guess here is that Hange opened out something within him, after Erwin told him about the Survey Corps and their grand view of the world.
I mean, he could have told Furlan that he is indeed tired, or that he had feigned tiredness to chase Hange away but Levi had to mention about being responsible to other lives to Furlan after Hange left. 🤔
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Isabel's heart
So, the next chapter, we see a snippet of Isabel doing the salute and hinting her dedication to the cause of the Survey Corps. Now look at her reactions and Levi's and Furlan's expressions. I am guessing all 3 of then are shocked at the possibility that they could be emotionally attached to the Survey Corps.
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Furlan's analysis
Furlan is such a clever and perspective character. I swear all the blonds must have gotten some good IQ genes from Isayama.
Anyway, the scene then cuts to Levi doing some internal thinking while the 3 of them rested. In his internal reflection, he reviewed his and Furlan's and Isabel's experiences with the Survey Corps. It is interesting to note that he recalled Erwin's words at the Underground when he was captured, instead of the compliment Erwin gave him. He, however, remembered what Hange said to him.
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I am guessing that to Levi, Erwin is still the mission he has to fulfil. Hange has that personal connection with him. See how Hange is grouped together with Furlan/ Isabel (his connection to his past in the Underground), Flagon and his man (his negative experiences and adjustment to the surface) and Hange (his positive experience and connection to the surface).
I am guessing that emotionally, he is still trying to decide on what he wanted. He is still thinking about the bigger purpose in life: What does it mean to stay on the surface, outside the Walls? Why? What is the purpose of fighting and lending his strength?
To sidetrack a little: I am thinking that Levi is trying to read into Erwin's motives. Because Levi knows that Erwin knows he wants to kill him. To continue this fascade of "lending his strength to the Survey Corps" would mean that they have a chance to stay aboveground. I think Levi struggles here because that would mean that he will be "responsible" for the "hearts" which he will built on upon moving forward because of his strength. Now, I think this is also why Levi recognise Erwin as his liege because he cannot see further than what Erwin had allowed him to. He choose to follow Erwin and trust his decisions because that is the only way for him to commit his strength to the sacrifices of Furlan and Isabel (to be free of the Underground and the Walls)
Back to Furlan.
So while Levi is thinking about all these, Furlan and Isabel talked about whether or not to continue their mission.
Now, take a look at what Furlan said about someone noticing if the 3 of them get close to Erwin.
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Who could that someone be? We know that Hange already noticed Levi and Furlan had to emphasized one someone noticing them.
Of course it could just be Furlan being cautious and careful. Now, the next scene where Isabel started to express her attachment to the Survey Corps, he directly referenced to the candy which Hange gifted.
And lastly, even though Levi did not share anything about his own internal thoughts, Furlan successfully guessed that Levi is also having some emotional attachment to the Survey Corp with the "dedication of hearts" thing.
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Now, Furlan would not have known what Erwin had told Levi, because he was not present. He was, however, present when he saw Levi reaction to Hange, when Levi said he did not want to be responsible for others (and these are, presumably, based in Levi's introspection of what Erwin told him). Furlan was also there when Hange gave Isabel the candy. Also to sidetrack to Levi's reflection above, Furlan had also looked to Levi's strength to "raise hell" while Isabel talked about "causes worth dying". So while Levi is trying to put all these together and see a purpose in life (what is worth to stay above ground and out of the Walls?), Furlan had already saw that going on with Levi.
The only reason why Furlan was able to see that is because Levi wavered in his interactions with Hange- he did not want her to dedicate her heart but he knows that all the Survey Corps members have dedicated their hearts. And as I mentioned earlier, Levi had struggled because to maintain above ground, he had to lend his strength to the Survey Corps, which means he have to see all the hearts being dedicated, even if he didnt want to.
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Yes, I know it is everywhere, but this "hearts" thing with Levi, and especially his "dedicate your heart" to Hange in 132 has too many unknowns. I will try to clean up if I can, but it really shows me how deep deep Levi is.
I am planning Part 2 on post Erwin and his monologue when he is trying to find Zeke in final battle. I am also very intrigued by that monologue because that is the second time, or rather first in the main manga, that Levi talked about "hearts" (excluding the heartbreaking farewill in 132). 💔
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IT'S TIME TO DISCUSS TFE S2A!!!
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SPOILERS...OBVIOUSLY...
First of all, despite what some TFE fans have said, I gotta say, S2A has heavily exceeded my expectations! I was nervous because it did not get marketed enough (wtf Paramount+??!!) and because of the early rumours regarding certain things happening. But I thoroughly enjoyed most of the episodes (even the trailer filler episode). It really felt like I was watching S1A all over again. I found S2A refreshing and wholesome.
Here is a scattered list of some of the many moments/things that stood out to me...
AHHH! MO'S BRAIDS! Gah! I love them so much! I absolutely love her new hairstyle in season 2. Okay spacebuns! 🥰 Our little sweetie has grown up a bit and her new hairstyle looks so nice! I really like the attention to detail on her braids, her edges and baby hairs. You can tell that the character designers actually did their research on black hairstyles, and I really appreciate that because so many shows get it so wrong and they are just downright disrespectful.
SHOCKWAVE'S HESITATION!!!! HE HAD A CLEAR SHOT AND HE WAS GOING TO ATTACK, but then he just...didn't.
I was wondering how the weird tension between Shockwave, the Terrans and Malto Kids would be resolved. In S1C we see Shockwave working with the Terrans and Malto Kids to help take down Croft and her army. But you can tell that this was mainly because they shared a common enemy and because the season was ending.
But now even with Shockwave working under Starscream's command, he still hesitated and just let Twitch and Robby pass. He had the element of surprise, he watched them steal the shards and he could have easily ambushed them. He just...didn't. I am hoping that this gets explored further in the season and we get more of Shockwave.
BREAKDOWN CALLING AFTERMATH 'SON'!!! 🥺🥺🥺 And calling him kid!!! 🥺🥺🥺 I don't know, this is just so adorable to me. Regardless of the faction, clearly all the Cybertronians view the Terrans as children. Even though I found Aftermath to be very irritating, I thought it was really sweet how fast Breakdown tried to protect him and how he had grown to care for him. That fake father/son montage and the 'son' bomb took me out. I was laughing so hard. 🤣
I kid you not, I had to pause the episode because I was laughing so hard! I could not breathe! 🤣 It was so sudden! It was so smooth! Alex was READY! You know he's been waiting for the day that he can finally reveal his Magical Boy uniform! I love it! Everyone's reaction was perfect! Megatron was so done with Alex. 🤣
✨️ALEX MALTO'S MAGICAL BOY TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE!!!✨️
And Nightshade giving their father a boost after Alex struggled to climb up the wall during the race is just so wholesome! 🥺 I'm so glad we got to see more of Alex interacting with his children in this batch of episodes. He gave so much enthusiastic, concerned, loving dad energy in this batch of episodes, it was beautiful.
TWITCH VS SPITFIRE!!!
That was so intense! It was really cool seeing them fight and use their different abilities against each other. Seeing Twitch get competitive with her basically evil twin sister was fun to watch. Twitch's competive nature really came out because THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!! Loll despite how hard Twitch had to fight, she definitely proved to Spitfire and to herself that she is the 'better drone'. I found it interesting that instead of Robby being the one to point out that Twitch is really Spitfire, it was actually Wheeljack. It was nice that he used his Dad 2 nickname to confirm his suspicions. He's clearly taken a liking to it. ☺️But I'm glad that Robby had his moment to determine which Twitch is the real Twitch.
Swindle interacting with a human and not trying to squish the human??? Yeah, I was shocked when I watched 'Control Alt Delete' and saw Swindle interacting with Fairmaestro. But then seeing Swindle basically try to swindle Fairmaestro was the perfect 'Aha!' moment.
I really like TFE's version of Cosmos, and I wish he had more than one appearance in this batch of episodes! He just disappeared after his debut episode, but I wanted more of him! His design is very nice too. He is a perfect round boi. But how the heck did he get captured by Fairmaestro? How long was he under his control? If he joined the Autobots after the Maltos rescued him, why wasn't he in any other episodes with the other Autobots? 🤔 But also, I love the way he handled Fairmaestro and dumped his ass in the dunk tank. Since Fairmaestro easily escaped Jon's custody, I wonder if we'll see more of him.
Starscream as the main antagonist. Hmmm. I gotta say, while it's refreshing that we finally got a new main villain, it's also disappointing that it ended up being Starscream. Starscream caused so much chaos in S2A and sure, it's Starscream. What do you expect? He's always been untrustworthy, violent and unpredictable. But really? Did he seriously have to go back to being the villain after he had a bonding moment with Hashtag? After he worked with the Malto family because he realized that there are much larger threats out there. I'm assuming that he had to fuck up shit in the beginning of season 2 to make way for a serious redemption arc later on. I assume an even bigger threat will enter the scene soon. I sure hope so, because Screamy hit an all time low when he brutally took out the Chaos Terrans. That was just...wow. 😨
Dot Malto being the 'villain' and spraying her kids with the hose during the competition was hilarious. We love a good badass mom moment. 🤭
Contrary to what some people have said, I actually don't mind the Malto Kids at all, or their new power upgrades. They've dealt with so much shit in S1, so it only makes sense that they will eventually get some upgrades and powers to help protect themselves. They act like how kids their age would act irl, so of course they're going to have their annoying, problematic moments where they get themselves into a lot of trouble. The only difference is, they have a lot more sense and they acknowledge when it's time to stop and get serious. Even though it's really obvious that TFE is marketed towards kids, I like that it puts emphasis on family, teamwork, and it has its fair share of cheesy moments. It's very reminiscent of TFA.
I really enjoyed Hashtag and Mo's bonding episode. Even though Robby and Mo have a strong connection to Twitch and Thrash because they are the first Terrans that were born, it's nice to see the Malto Kids interact with their other Terran siblings as well. We almost always see Mo with Thrash or Robby with Twitch, so to see different dynamics among the Terrans and their human siblings is refreshing. And yessss! Hashtag calling Mo her little big sister and Mo calling Hashtag her big little sister is just too great!
Hashtag's new alt mode is so shiny! I love it! It's a nice upgrade, and I like her new root mode design too. I thought it was interesting that she got a new virtual assistant with her systems upgrade.
Cyber-syncing!!! I feel like it was only a matter of time before it was introduced. Something tells me that we're going to have more moments when cyber-syncing will be needed to take down a foe. It was an interesting addition to the Terrans and Malto Kids' existing abilities. I wonder if we'll see more cyber-syncing combos, like maybe a Hashtag/Nightshade/Robby/Mo combo. Or a Jawbreaker/Twitch/Robby/Mo combo. Or just more cyber-syncing in general. I did find Jawbreaker's sync with Aftermath to be very forced and unnecessary. I get that he felt left out in that episode, but it just feels like it was so unnecessary to the plot and it just felt like bad comedy relief.
Overall, I actually really enjoyed S2A. There were only a few episodes and moments that I found meh, but for the most part it was a good watch and it's about to be on repeat while I patiently wait for Transformers One and S2B to come out.
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whysamwhy123 · 4 months
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HALLEJUAH!! I REMEMBERED HOW TO ACTUALLY FINISH WRITING SOMETHING FOR A CHANGE!!
Of course, it's not any of the fics I wanted to finish. I went back to what is essentially my bread-and-butter now and wrote a short-ish, random OrangeHook fluff. But considering how much writing's been a struggle as of late, I'm just glad that I successfully finished something. I was back in one of those stretches where I couldn't seem to write much of anything. And this fic isn't about their age difference or Hook being a cuddlebug, so...progress?
Unless I decide I completely hate it (which is always a possibility) expect something to drop on Valentine's Day, tis the season, after all.
#What is wrong with you Sam you should not be allowed to write#Small victories you know?#Will I ever get sick of OrangeHook?? Apparently not#Can't even remember the last time they interacted on screen but that ain't stopping my brain LOL#On a more serious note - I really do hope that I can get back into the swing of things and make some real progress#On the bigger fics I want to work on#I want to finish the messy angst OrangeHook fic at some point even if it's unlikely to appeal to anyone#Annnnnd deep down in my cold dead heart I still wanna make an honest attempt at that DG Dead Dove fic#Even though that would be even more unappealing + a huge undertaking because that bitch would be loooooooooong#Also I had a slightly less angsty OrangeHook idea recently about them having their first fight and I wanna write that too for some reason#And there's still a part of me that really wants to continue Business/Pleasure because I have soooo many ideas for that AU#But that would require me to get over my inability to write smut#And I don't know how to do that (would appreciate any advice on that if you've got some...)#But at the same time I don't wanna beat myself up for not being able to write much - if anything - most days#This is a hobby after all - it's supposed to be fun#There ain't no deadline and it's not like I'm letting anybody down#Just gotta do at my own place#And write whatever absolute trash I want to write 😈#My tags are always so obsessive like SHUT THE FUCK UP SAM#But if you've actually read all these - hey. Thanks. Love ya 😘
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blindedguilt · 7 months
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🔁 |[HIT ME. ♥]|
"You're going to get us killed." - Interaction Rewrite Prompts!
For Leonard, the weight of a child's blood upon his weapon was heavier than anything else he had handled before in his lifetime.
He hadn't the honour to have even called it the first, but different from his brothers, who had found their end directly by the blades of the Empire, there was no hope for the blame of responsibility to be lifted off his shoulders now that he had wielded that same blade himself.
Leonard's breathing was panicked and uneven. A cold sweat ran down his back as the sensation of the light body being flung backwards shot once more through his arms - he felt ill. Had he died? Had he done away with his life in that forest and been sentenced to hell? Perhaps it was all a punishment, an eternity spent in war, ending the lives of children just as he had his brothers. The screams had sounded too familiar for comfort.
He couldn't, couldn't bring himself to fight. The stakes didn't come to him. The seal didn't exist to him. The usually tranquil forest had roared with the sounds of the clashing steel, the hurried footsteps, the cries and mockery of the faerie - something like the dragon's voice had called his name in harsh rebuke, and whether it truly was her or Caim, Leonard didn't understand and stumbled blindly back to the garrisons in a piteous attempt to flee.
Too cowardly to die, and too starved to survive.
All that was clear to him against the roar of noise was his own breathing, the feeling of his heart pounding in its chest, and the crushing weight of the guilt from that thought repeating itself in his head like a mantra. Leonard struggled to break out of it - do or say something that could stop this madness. Anything. A sickened cry sounded at the sound of the mercenary's own cold reproach, and the hermit struggled to respond.
"Caim, please...!"
He had tried to utter words, either protest or a plea, but his throat had grown tight and left only a quiet whimper. Was that all he could do? Beg...? Leonard's weapon trembled in his hands. He was truly weak... He could have done more than beg. Just like his brothers, there was a thought that told him that he could have saved them. But, it was all the same. His family murdered for the sake of shameful pleasure. The blood of children spilled only for his own protection - his own cowardice to even die correctly. All for himself, a pathetic existence unable to even lift a finger against the slaughter of children.
Some wretched noise, a ragged fight for strained breath against the pounding heart in his chest, could be heard against the armoured thumps of bodies against the ground. Even from a distance, Leonard's frozen body could be seen trembling uncontrollably. The polearm dangled limply from his hands.
"They are only mere children...!"
The last uttered words before the hermit collapsed to his knees were a heart-wrenching sob.
Not a voice of disgust, but a cry in horror.
#||Reply||:Caim#{/without you i lose my mind.... GIVE ME A CAAAA~IIIIMMMM}#{/the way i JUMPED when i got this though!!! ! bri! caim!!! hello!!!!! that's my fucking guy right there!}#{/dreams DO come true!!}#{/BUT LIKE; LISTEN.}#{/THIS IS E X T R A SPECIAL BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT??? IT'S NOT JUST THE FIRST LEONARD-CAIM INTERACTION}#{/BUT LIKE}#{/LITERALLY HIS FIRST INTERACTION EVER!!!! this was the first ask i got on this blog!!!}#{/so that made it VERY hard to read lmao BUT I WAS SO HAPPY TO REDO THIS ONE IN PARTICULAR GOD BLESS}#{/both for its personal significance and ALSO as i mentioned}#{/the old ask makes me cringeeeeee.....}#{/this still could be better but here's the thing: it IS better compared to that lmao}#{/i really do wanna dive into leonard's likely trauma post-leonard's regret regarding that... <w<}#{/i would also KILL to see caim's whole retrospective on that someday as well omg}#{/BUT SERIOUSLY BRI TYSM FOR THE CAIMMMMM I MISS THAT NASTY LITTLE SHITGOBLIN SO MUCHHHHH <3333 it really brought me back QwQ}#{<- may or may not have taken so long on this because i was busy reading through old asks/replies and reminiscing}#{/i mean it when i say it now: leonard will be back in full swing SOON. after i get this last ask figured out and his DS1 verse established#{/im sending in the memes i have in my.......... 90 saved drafts folder lmao}#{/i keep PANICKING over all my drafts and literally a majority of it is just misc writing things that aren't even for this blog and memes}#{/either way; AGAIN; thank you so much for the ask!! i hope its at least better than the old one lmao}#{/and im so happy to write for caim again!!!! give him all my well wishes dhfbdfkjhbdkfj}
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bumblingbabooshka · 1 year
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Janeway really said “I’m gonna hunt him down no matter what the cost. No matter how long it takes. If you wanna call that a vendetta-” like ma’am you KNOW that’s a vendetta there’s no IF
#watching equinox and I love when Janeway gets to have a BIIIIIIG gun too big for#Also...can we take a moment and talk about the Equinox's first officers voice??? My GOD....why is his VOICE handsome??#also those shots of them going around the ruined Equinox ship in part one were SO cool...the ravaged ship and the bodies lying all over !!#their idiot evil emh still trying to look after his morally bankrupt crew...-pats his bald head-#Humans WOULD take good luck spirits from an alien culture and slaughter them to make their ship go faster that's just such a human move :/#specifically a...........no I shan't say it#livetweeting#I lovelovelove villains who are sympathetic while also being absolutely in the wrong#Like I feel so fucking bad for this crew of people running on fumes terrified out of their minds in this impossible situation they didn't#ask for or seek out (they were even worse off than Voyager being just a short term science vessel and losing half their crew IMMEDIATELY)#with their only entertainment being looking at interactive pictures of alien landscapes (with no people in them) but also they're killing#sentient lifeforms - aliens - people. & they're doing it with some remorse but not enough remorse to actually ever stop#Their black science officer dude ALSO has a handsome voice!!!! Just have those two at the helm when talking to aliens and I bet your luck#would turn around Ransome#EHEHHEHEHE Guy: That'd be murder#Janeway: You could call it poetic justice <- notably still murder#YEESSSS JANEWAY'S DOING ACTION villain LINES AGAIN!!!!#'We all make our own hell mr Lessing....I hope you enjoy yours.'#This episode is LITERALLY mirrorverse Janeway and it's just canon Janeway#Women DO contain multitudes! (the capacity to condone and commit heinous acts of torture when it satisfies a personal vendetta)#Janeway's literally SO pissed that Chakotay wouldn't let her torture a guy hehe my GOD...#she's SEETHING#SHE LITERALLY RELEIVED HIM OF DUTY BC HE HAD MORALS#Kathryn really walked off like it was a serve 'I was about to ask you the same question...' GIRL YOU ALMOST TORTURE-KILLED A GUY#HEHEH HE /SAVED/ HIM#Janeway said 'you not rocking with me??? I'm going to kill one hostage upon the hour.'#Also for some reason Seven & The Doctor singing Clementine is making me want to cry
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youremyonlyhope · 2 years
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Observing the fandoms of shows I watch that have lots of fans that skew younger makes me kind of marvel at how different things are in online fandom even just 10 years after I was their age.
Like, I know I probably sounded like I was losing my mind every 5 seconds in posts I made as a teenager, but some things I see nowadays are actually concerning. I see people taking things waaaayyyyyy too seriously. It’s a TV show. It’s not obligated to go in the direction you want it to. It’s not the end of the world when it doesn’t. It’s not even the end of the TV show yet. Who’s to say it won’t go in that direction eventually, or even do something completely different that you’ll like even more than what you initially wanted? And outside the bubble of those younger fans on tumblr and twitter, no one really cares about the same issues that are being blown out of proportion here.
#no spoilers but i'll tag just in case#st spoilers#stranger things spoilers#specifically this is about stranger things and umbrella academy but i also saw it in the julie and the phantoms fandom too#but i'm seeing people act like a certain ship not becoming canon is the end of everything#am i the only one who had the sense to realize that realistically it probably wouldn't be canon and at least not right now if ever#like can we not joke about coming after a teenage actor because they ship the ship that didn't become canon and gave people hope#the actor just wanted to interact with fans. nothing malicious. honestly it's not even misleading.#anyway it's 2am and i watched stranger things this morning and then rewatched episode 8 when my brother watched it#and i'm still like processing the whole season so i can't even allow myself to pay attention to these younger fans#i just see the posts and tweets and i'm like '...nope... really glad i'm not that age right now... not gonna even touch that issue...'#honestly. these kids need glee. that desensitized me from asking for stuff from my shows because then it'd happen#and then it'd blow up in some weird way or just get undone by the end of a season or just be stupid and not what i wanted#only rarely did things i REALLY want to happen happen on glee. the rest of the time i was just along for the ride.#and that's the mindset i have when watching tv shows to this day. so honestly. thank you glee.#quick someone find the gif of soos in gravity falls saying 'this better be exactly like my fanfiction or i will be VERY disappointed.'#also something being hinted at and foreshadowed doesn't make it predictable when it happens. it makes it planned.#i swear. people are getting too used to shock killings or plot twists out of nowhere that they're forgetting what foreshadowing is.#the finale has a 9.6 rating on IMDB right now. a site that is infamous for being incredibly skewed if even half a fandom hates something.#(believe me. doctor who's IMDB ratings are all over the place due to a loud group of Thirteen's haters)#so if even a good chunk of the fandom disliked the finale then the score would be much lower. but it's not.#maybe it will go down a bit as more people watch. but this is not game of thrones. but i see people treating it like it is.#and really only focusing on 2 or 3 maybe 4 specific issues and writing off everything else.#(not trying to swat a hornet's nest or start crazy discourse and my anon is turned off so just don't come at me. i don't care.)
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causalitylinked · 2 years
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OOC UPDATES
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I updated my rules page again, but in case you don’t feel like actually re-reading them because they are four pages long, here are the changes I made:
Under ‘Reasons I May Unfollow / Block: ‘If I notice you interact with two people I’m personally uncomfortable with, I may potentially unfollow or softblock as my reaction to seeing them on my dash is really that bad, but I won’t be mentioning who they are and what they have done unless you privately message me about it, because I don’t want to draw negative attention towards them.’
Added an amendment to the rule of pre-established interactions, where if the first meeting scenario has an interesting enough premise, I might make an exception when it comes to my rule on non pre-estabished interactions, but due to me preferring continuity, relationships wise, I may later drop the first meeting thread and start another thread with you that would take place after the events of the first meeting thread, if only because I don’t want to continue being stuck in the ‘two strangers who just met for the first time’ phase. Seriously, it’s just not my favourite thing to write!
Reworded a paragraph to now say: ‘Please keep in mind that Gin, Kobato, Sasara, Ryuto, and Akira are Japanese characters in a Japanese setting, which means I will be writing them as such; therefore, they will address other muses using honorifics (or by last name in Akira’s case) and will not be able to converse in English, aside from maybe Ryuto. Due to this being the case, I will naturally default any interactions with Akira to occur in Japan and default any interactions with my Caligula muses to occur either in Redo or modern day Japan unless I’m writing Ryuto.
Clarified that while I myself will exclusively ship with one canon character at a time to make myself feel more comfortable, you aren’t obligated to exclusively ship with my interpretation of a muse as well. I also mentioned the only Sonia Nevermind I will exclusively ship my Akira with is @more-than-a-princess and the only Yuzuriha Kotoko I will exclusively ship my Kobato with is @agnina​.
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be-good-to-bugs · 2 months
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i need to go to bed but i dont wannnaaaaa
#the bin#i work at 7am and its 1:23 am i have GOT to go to bad but ugh. if i go to bed then that means ill have to go to work as sokn as im conscious#so the longer i stay up the more time i have. but km gonna be so tired at work. hhhhh.#i dont know why but ive felt so horrible today. super anxious. miserable and really sad#im trying to just deal with it. soon enough things are gonna change. its only 34 days till my planned moving date. i will only bave like 20#more shifts at this job. maybe less depending on what i get given. including tomorrows shift. and tomorrows shift is only 5 hours long#and the day after its only 4 hours and then i have 2 more days off. itll be ok. but i still feel so anxious and depressed and awful#i just wanna stay home and be high all the time. i feel so lonely always. literally the only thing that helps me not feel completely crushed#and paralyzed by how lonely i am is getting high. i know its not healthy to rely on getting high to feel better about stuff but idk what#else to do so who cares. when i dont do anything about it i i stead end up relapsing or worse so i think its an ok option#i hope i can meet nice people this year. year after year it doesnt happen but so much has changed!#it makes sense i havent met people since i moved out. and everything is so different from wwhen i last lived with them#all my siblings are in school. they have people over at the hair a fair bit afaik. my dad wont be there to me make feel awful. my sister#also wont be there to me me feel awful. i can figure something out. itll be ok. it has to be.#i just want to squeeze someone. i just want like. a hug. a good cuddle. and i need to talk to someone. its been so long since u had an actul#fun time hanging out with another person. i need to watch a movie with someone and joke around and. ugh.#how did my life reach this point? what happened that resulted in me spending ages 10-19 all alone. im not even 19 yet but i will be soon#and theres not a chance ill meet someone before then esp bc im moving. when i was little i didnt have mych friends but i had some#i had such high hopes for the future. i also thought the future would be terrible but i imagined id still have friends and peopwl to talk to#all ive wanted sincei was 10 is just to have people to talk to and hangout with. but i dont have a single friend. i can hardky name anyone#besides my family and coworkers. and like aa couple of my sisters friends. there isnt even like people i know who i dont really consider#friends but we talk sometimes. if i dont go to work. call my mom. or tex a sibling. i dont see or talk to anyone period#i guess unless i go to the store. that doenst really count tho.#i want to have a friends group. i want to have A friends. just like. a person. to interact with. what happened that made mw spend the past#8 years just not interacting with anyone? whats wrong with me.#its fine tho. becausebit will change. i acan heal from this and i can meet people. even if half my conscious life has been spent all alone#it will get better. it has to.
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