this week's episode was one that i've been looking forward to for a while, and while not perfect in execution, i still found it interesting, especially how it expanded on matakara and how his and arajin's fight played out.

arajin is a character that is guilty, that flees unless absolutely necessary not to, and would rather save face. he is a character that is meant to be unlikeable. contrast this with matakara, who is kind and considerate, helps his friends, and is willing to reach out, even if someone has hurt him. even their reasons for fighting could be pit against each other: arajin wants to fight to lose his virginity, and matakara wants to fight for his brother, arajin, and his friends.

the difference between arajin’s idealization of mahoro and matakara’s idealization of arajin is that, at the very least, you’re meant to make fun of/laugh at arajin- because you're not supposed to like him. matakara’s idealization of arajin is not put in a comedic light, because you're made to sympathize with him; you're meant to root for him. another example of a character who idealizing another person: mahoro. mahoro is self-aware she’s delusional. she’s self aware her brother doesn’t want her, and because she is so weird about him, her brother doesn’t open up to her as a result. but even mahoro (as much as i hate the brocon thing) can recognize it'll never happen. she still has her core values that don't stem from her brother.

arajin and matakara idealize people for two similar reasons. arajin is in love with the idea of mahoro, because she represents what is expected of arajin, a guy who wants to be un notable because he believes he can’t do more.

matakara idealizes arajin, because arajin represents the simpler, ideal life, the best life one can live as honki person, one that he strives toward. he idolizes arajin because he himself needs something to cling onto after his brother is gone.

matakara and arajin are two characters both stuck in the past. they both keep ideals from their childhood; because arajin couldn’t protect matakara, he believes he is weak and cannot do more than that on his own. matakara believes that since arajin wanted to become honkibito together, he would still want the same deep down and it’s him who’s weak.

matakara puts his faith in people, even if it hurts him. arajin doesn't put his faith in people, but he gets hurt because he doesn't trust anyone. both put their faith in different things because they don't trust themselves, so they let others dictate it for them. both are stubborn about their beliefs, yet fragile, and it hurts them when they are questioned so they double down on it.

arajin is an asshole, hell, he's a bad friend, but he never lied about his motives. matakara seeing their relationship through rose-tinted glasses and arajin being detached harms the both of them; it prevents their relationship from progressing any further.

arajin is *partially right, he is not is not what matakara thinks he is: the ideal matakara holds for himself and him. one of the key things that is first emphasized about honki people is that, "they don't run away." this is what arajin has been doing all this time. even then, arajin has not been tricking matakara in any capacity, because matakara has an idea of what arajin is, and clings to it for support.

*arajin didn’t lie back then about wanting to be honki people together, but since he believes he can’t do more for matakara (he’s used to running away) he avoids confrontation about it. matakara’s used these ideals as support so basically it’s like his beliefs were a lie

arajin is no longer the ideal that matakara saw in his childhood. now that matakara's ideals are shattered, he is vunerable to akutaro's & ichiya's manipulation.

i do think arajin and matakara are capable of being friends. however, they both need time and space to process their emotions. it’s shown that they can look out for each other, but one is overly committed (to an ideal version of the other) and the other is not. they need to find a middle ground to understand each other. i love their relationship because they're made out to be so different, yet they're so similar. i love how messy they both are, and i'm so excited to see how their relationship could possibly contrast ichiya/senya's. more importantly, i can't wait to see how their relationship develops/spirals from here.

I want to know about some of your favorite moments from Digimon! I still want to watch through the whole show, even if I haven't gone back to finish OG Adventure yet.

AHH WILL. happily share !!!! haven't rll rewatched digimon in a bit (besides tamers) so I may miss some ough. also I watched digimon in spanish so I'll call the digimons and kids by the name they are called in the spanish dub XP

also Idk if ur okay with spoilers so I'll put moments from othe finale of adventure, and all other seasons beside the that under the cut :3

Adventure:

- Patamon's/angelmon's sacrifice is rll. the first taste of how wild digimon is and prolly why I got so obsessed with digimon as a kid... it's just such a cool moment that it rewrired my little kiddie brain

- Gatomon meets with the kids for the first time. after u get more familiar with how digivolution works and bigger equals stronger in ur mind, seeing gatomon solo all the kid's digimons is. sooo cool. u rll don't expect gatomon to be in adult level (that also made gatomon my fav as a kid :3)

02:

- The moment where wormmon dies and Ken realizes what's he's done to digimon it's just. so good... it scared me a lot as a kid but I still watched it so many times. the contrast of Ken receiving the crest of kindness too, along with a partner digimon dying like patamon did to save their kid.... expldoes

- when Ken and wormmon reunite again.... I cried sm at that part as a kid

Tamers: (get ready itis my fav season I may aswell put every single moment of the show here dkndkd)

- Takato and Guilmon meet. the first point tamers wants to show u is that. digimons aren't entirely friendly, they are like animals and especially guilmon who was just created doesn't get what's happening around him. THE PUREE horror Takato feels when Guilmon kills the rats is so awesome also, especially when he was so happy to see Guilmon seconds ago

- Takato finds Guilmon after he scapes for the first time. Takato crying his eyes out after Terriermon tells him his not fit for the tamer title... and him hugging Guilmon. it's too much it makes me explode

- the little moment Impmon and Renamon have at the billboard thing... they are so funny

- Suzie and Antylamon meet. just look atthe episode is there anything else to say. they are so cute

- THANK U GOD !!! ^_^

- WHEN RENAMON CONFIRMS ALL DIGIMONS ARE AGENDER !!!!! WOOOOO (and then Rika's mom is shitty as usual but we don't talk abt that. but I want Rika's mom dead that's all I'm saying)

Ghost game:

- Hiro's and Gammamon's meeting. I'm not a super fan of ghost game but this episode definitely convinced me to keep watching. Hiro's dad telling him that gammamon is now his little brother isso <3

- gulusgammamon's first appearance (kinda). he murdered a digimon isn't that the coolest thing ever. BUT aside from that the whole episode is just a FUCKING. ride man... from Bokomon's death to the fucking.... digivolution of gammamon. the way u can tell something is wrong when everything pauses for a second. IT'S SO GOOODDD

I think the build up to that episode could have been done better, but what we got is still pretty good tbh. I rewatched that episode like 10 times and was obsessed with gulus for such a long time man

ANNDDD I'LL STOP HERE ! would like to add more but I've been here for like. one million hours I need to do other stuff skkdkd

Basically a review of OP episode 503 ig

Currently rewatching post-war arc (in the dub so I don't have any screenshots for u guys sry) and theres a few things id like to point out.

During a conversation Dadan once had with Garp, they were talking about Roger. Garp said that even if they were facing powerful enemies, he would never run away because he wouldnt dare leaving his comrads behind; it wasnt an option for him. Obviously we see this in Ace. But ALSO, isnt this what he did with Katakuri? It was a little different cuz of the setting mostly, but he separated himself from his crew to fight off katakuri, and lied to them about being okay so they didn't worry (he was already getting his ass kicked by then, so he just made that stupid smile and told them not to worry (or smth like that, I can remember the exact line) (that smile was so gross and fake cuz he fucking sucks at lying). Also he said roger destroyed a buncha soldiers cuz they mouthed off his men. That's what Ace tried to do but instead he died. :(

"The pain he went through just made him hold on tighter to the ones he loved" -Garp, about Roger. "Despite his flaws and his bad reputation, his crew still trusted him completely." -also Garp, about Roger. These both sound a lot like Luffy AND Ace.

When Dogra got home and told everyone about Sabo's ship being shit down and him dying (which we all know didnt happen, thank fuck), (by the way the absolutely lost looks on Ace's and Luffy's faces with the sudden silence hurt like a bitch), Luffy started crying and said "WE SHOULDNT'A LET HIM GO, IT'S ALL OUR FAULT". Which fucking says something about him (thinking of episodes 913-915 when he goes fucking berserk, but before that he learns that Kaido probably killed Tama and he says "I should've escorted them..!" (*ugly cries*)). Ace also reacted pretty similarly-- "Sabo...why didn't we go back into town and bring him back here?! We're so stupid!" And he gets mad and asks where he could find the bastard that killed him (obviously not getting a good answer since it was a fucking celestial dragon ugh). That is what Luffy does, in present time. He results to anger first, not sadness. Not sure when he learned to do that but I'm 99 percent sure it was from Ace. Also the blaming himself thing? High chance thats ALSO from Ace. Who else would teach him that self hating behaviour?!

Dadan pins Ace down to stop him from going after the Celestial Dragon to calm him down, telling him he cant do anything, he's not big or strong enough to do anything and he'll be killed as soon as he tries anything, especially since it was the whole country -the whole WORLD- that killed Sabo. He can't do anything. And then they tied him to a tree outside to let him cool off. Oh yeah then he also told luffy to stop crying like a little girl or else he'll- (and he didn't finish the sentence). ...Ok maybe thats why luffy started being more angry than sad.

This is where things get a little more :( . Ace reads the letter Sabo sent them before he died. As he reads, he walks to the end of the forest, to a cliff overlooking the ocean. And starts fucking bawling (btw the voice actor who had Ace's childhood part did not do a very good job, no where near as in character and real as Coleen Clickenberg did with all of Luffy's crying scenes. She was spot on.) ...do you see where im going with that? He isolated himself before letting himself feel sad. It was all rage and then calm beforehand. Y-you see where im going with that. Dont make me say it.

"How's Luffy doing, is he any better?" "Well...he hasnt been eating much, but he still eats twice as much as we do". Oh look, That's what happened after Ace died too. There's a behavioral pattern that hasnt gone away. Not sure why it wouldve tho.

Luffy is mopeing, lying on the ground in a similar setting ace was at when he cried. Hes thinking about some of the things Sabo said, like how theyre gonna sail the seas together, and he clenches his hands into tight, shaking fists. After Ace shows up and hits him, and talking abt some other stuff I don't feel like relaying, Luffy tightens his grip on the straw hat and tells ace, whimpering, he wants to get stronger (and stronger, and stronger, and stronger and stronger and....) And he wants to be the strongest in the world. "And then, I'll protect everyone. I won't lose anyone I care about". He gets stronger mainly to protect the people he loves. And then he asks ace to promise he won't die. To which he hits Luffy again and tells him he should be more worried about himself dying first. And then the famous line that hurts like a bitch- "I'm NEVER going to DIE!" And then this hopeful music comes on (fucking damnit funimation, u gotta do this? Really??) Also he says he wont die as long as he has a wussy little brother to protect. ...FUCK. Ok, the fist clenching is a thing he does all the fucking time, usually when he gets mad. This was different because he wasnt mad, he was sad. He clenched his fist because thinking about it hurt. Which, huh, sounds a lot like his whole episode after waking up from his 2 week coma on the polar tang. To try and stop the mental pain of those horrendous memories, he resulted to physically pain. He hurt himself. So, He clenches his fists in times like these to fight off the mental pain and the urge to cause himself physical pain. Guys, our boy is bad at emotions, help him. ....ok this paragraph is longer than I anticipated so ill dumb down the rest of it ig. Next part, him asking ace to promise he wont die. The music, the body language, the over change in mood- this comforts him. He stopped hiding his face and silently sobbing after ace said this. OH YEAH! didn't he tell jinbe not to die when they parted ways in Totto Land? And then, hes missing still in Wano and we see Luffy is worried....but convinced Jinbe will show up. Again, this comforts him. Hes nervous cuz someone KOFF KOFF ACE broke that promise once. But jinbe is his crew mate so he trusts him, thank god.

"-But whoever did it, they must be opposed to freedom." The whole freedom thing? That runs through Luffy's blood and spirit.His brothers fought for it, his dad is the man who strives to give everyone freedom basically, and Luffy himself has seen enough of the OPPOSITE of freedom to be so, so much more than just against it. Hence why he of course was so eager to free the slaves in Sabaody, the kids in punk hazard, the toys in dressrosa, the country of Wano from Kaido's tyrany. The apple doesnt fall far from the tree huh.

I dont think Luffy would remember his promise with Shanks if it werent for his brothers putting feul to his dream. It was a stupid bet at first; he just wanted to beat Shanks, right then. But after meeting Sabo and Ace, he found the opposite of freedom and human rights. And then he wanted, REALLY wanted, to become the free-est man in the world; the pirate king.

Last one i promise ok? This one is less connected to whats going on in the episode at this point, but something I noticed (its so obvious everyone has seen this ok) was when luffy cries, his posture is always open. He doesn't curl in on himself like many people would do (I know I would, lol). He doesnt hug himself, protect himself. He's just, opened up to whoever is watching, literally. This has a little more to do with something I haven't talked about much in this post yet; his self-destruction issues. I said he tried to hurt himself when he felt mental pain, which is definitely similar. But he cries and doesnt try to protect or comfort himself, like he doesn't have that programmed into his mind. Reminder that he only wants to live because of his dream, and if he doesnt have his dream, he wants to die. (Whoa.). Ok, so no self preservation mechanism at all rlly. Hes basically ride or die. So, when things hurt so much that he cries, he has no hope left. He just kinda...dies inside. So this was mildly different after sabo died. Yes we saw him just standing there, sobbing. But the next day he's still crying, and instead he's laying on the ground. I saw that and the voice in the back of my head told me he wanted to be a part of that lifeless dirt beneath him. Then, Ace walked over. And his words made him feel the hope that I told you about earlier, and he sat up into a sitting position. And HUGGED HIS LEGS TO HIS CHEST. There's some self preservation! Some hope! Some will to exist, to live! Something we saw none of as he sat in front of his brothers corpse, shutting down. He sat there, open to his enemies, incapable of protecting himself. Practically anyone couldve killed him right then and there. I think he mightve liked that, at that moment. Like thank god he has that stupidly good luck cuz if he didn't I swear someone couldve thrown and axe or FUCKING ANYTHING AT THAT MOMENT and hed be dead becuase he never physically or mentally prepared himself. On purpose.

Our poor boy needs some fucking attention and therapists. (Insert my rant post about how jinbe is on the crew primarily for anger management and therapy, not just being a helmsman.) Ugh, smh ugly cries

Aaaaand thats about the end of the episode. Theres so many little tics and peesonality traits that you notive thru this episode, and I only noticed them cuz im rewatching this part of the show for like the third time. I don't react as much as the first time of course but some things are definitely sadder after knowing what's going on and what will happen later on.

Moral of the story (post)? I think luffy is almost equally as alike -if not, more similar to roger as ace is. Also, high key genuinely think Luffy met like NO ONE but Garp before he met Shanks and his crew. What the fuck was his first like 5 years of being alive like? (He wantd to be a pirate cuz Garp didnt want that. Rebellious baby asshole. And then shanks made things worse, in a good way for luffy. And then ace and sabo made that worse thing worse for a good reason. Luffy lives...for those influences. And that is fucking it. Why.

Oh thanks tumblr for moving my picture to the bottom of the post u fucking idiot