#i have like 20+ rabbits i don't need to cry over the thought of rabbits
Text
will apparently cry just seeing mention of bunnies now
#why must i be this way#what is wrong with me#the thought of bunnies just makes me so happy#i am 100% legit crying because i saw someone mention a rabbit doing a completely ordinary rabbit thing???#which i've seen rabbits do thousands of times??#my chest hurts. why am i having these emotions#i have like 20+ rabbits i don't need to cry over the thought of rabbits#make it stop please i need to function i was just trying to meal plan#ny says
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
20 Questions For Fic Writers
thank you @garglyswoof and @stars-and-darkness for tagging me!
How many works do you have on ao3?
12, though 2 of those are moodboards so don't really count.
2. What's your total ao3 word count?
553,036. Huh. Lower than I expected. No doubt that will shoot up when the tbbw rewrite is done [fake laughter, hiding real pain]
3. What fandoms do you write for?
TVD, TO a.k.a Klaroline
4. Top five fics by kudos:
The Big Bad Wolf, Into Eternity, The Little Wolf, The Red Wedding and Falling For You.
5. Do you respond to comments?
Yes! I try to respond to every one as I love talking with readers. I figure if someone spends time to write a comment, I'll return the favour and reply. In fact when I'm updating fics regularly, if my reply to your comment turns up in your inbox it's often a pre-warning that a new chapter is about to drop, as I read over comments I've missed before updating.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Does Damon murder count? [I don't really do angsty endings, I need my happily ever after]
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Probably Into Eternity. It's really sappy and makes me feel all warm and gooey inside. What can I say - I'm a romantic at heart.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Yes, kinda. Is it hate if it's just wild interpretations of the characters or plot? Some people leave comments that just make you blink repeatedly and think...are they reading the same fic I'm writing? I remember one time someone left a comment calling Caroline a pushover (honestly had some kind of vendetta against her showing ANY kind of emotion like okaaaaay mate) even though in that very same chapter...she literally kicked Klaus is the balls. Man, that was a weird day.
9. Do you write smut?
No. Not yet.
In the future? There may or may not be scenes planned. 😏
I'm picky with smut, I need feelings and the eMoTiOnS, I need to be INVESTED. Porn with plot, rather than just smut for smut's sake.
10. Craziest crossover:
Haven't written a crossover - unless intending to drop Dracula into tbbw at some point coints. There's some great ones in the fandom though, just not really my thing.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I'm aware of [narrows eyes]
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No! But I'd be flattered if one ever was, as long as its translated on ao3 and given credit to me.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, I haven't. I might be open to it though, if it was a round-robin kind of thing where the writers take in turns to write the scenes.
14. All time favorite ship?
KLAROLINE!!! NOW LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!!!
15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I really want to finish Divided We Fall, Falling For You and Songs of the Sea. I wouldn't say I doubt I'll ever finish them, just that I doubt I'll finish them while I'm still writing the tbbw series. Too much of the klaroline brain rot is invested in that fic alone.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I've been told it's shifting between moods? So I can give readers whiplash in the emotions department - one minute you're crying, the next you're laughing. I like to think my strength is dialogue though. Even the way I write is focused around it.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Historical accuracy. I'll fall down a rabbit hole researching stuff like any writer, but the researching is more out of obligation and crippling writer guilt rather than actual enjoyment. Which is why I often take creative licence and go fuck it, history has its own au now bitches (sorry ella).
18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?
If its little words here and there - even a sentence or two - yes. Full conversations though unless you're fluent yourself are not fun to sift through.
19. First fandom you wrote in?
Star Wars? I want to say Star Wars. Idk those fanfics are over on my ffnet account which I will not be going back to anytime soon. I dare not go where the light doesn't touch, Mufasa speaks wisely.
20. Favorite fic you've written?
It used to be The Red Wedding but I actually love The Little Wolf more now. That one's a true labour of love, fueled on rage and spite, curtesy of Julie Plec.
I will tag @galvanizedfriend @kirythestitchwitch @marxandangels @bellemorte180 @impossiblekryptonitecolor @the-road-betwixt @purplesigebert @that-sarcastic-optimist
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
IN THE GHETTO
Chapter 20
A/N: I'm sorry I've been inactive due to pure laziness so as an apology here's a long and satisfying chapter
“Alright good boy copper!”
It was your turn to take the dog on a walk and he managed to catch himself a rabbit. Despite you and Arthur splitting you still decided to keep the dog and take turns taking care of him.
When you got back to camp you could hear the loud cries of a baby.
Jack Marston, John and Abigail’s son was born 2 years ago. He’s a good kid but he can sure cry his heart out. Especially since John up and left us.
John’s explanation was that he thought the baby wasn’t his. Before he got Abigail pregnant she had already been with half the gang so it made him anxious. When the baby came out he couldn’t really tell who’s it was but as the days went on it started to look more and more not like him.
John is still pretty young but damn you thought having a baby would mature him a little.
“Hey Abigail you doing alright?” You stepped inside Abigail’s little tent.
“Does it look like it? The baby won’t shut up and his father ain’t even here. How am I supposed to do this alone?”
“You’re not alone”
“This baby needs his father!”
You took Jack from her arms and tried to rock him a little. Since you were still getting used to handling a baby you didn’t really know how to calm him down. He just kept on crying.
Abigail sighed and took him back.
“It’s ok y/n you shouldn’t have to. I just wish I wasn’t so careless. Even now Dutch and them look at me differently. The only ones who still treat me the same is the girls, you and Arthur. Y/n.. you and Arthur have known John way longer than I have. Can you please bring him back?”
You never really been on a job with Arthur ever since the break up so you really didn’t want to do this. But you were going to for your friend.
“Alright I’ll see what I can do”
You walked out the tent and let out the deep breath you were holding ever since Abigail mentioned Arthur’s name. God you wished he didn’t have such an effect on you.
You looked to see Charles heading your way.
“She ok?”
“Yea but she asked me to go with Arthur to try and find John”
“I could come with you guys”
“No you don’t have to. I know you're a good hunter but I don't know if that'll still apply to humans"
Charles sat you down and began massaging your shoulders.
“You’re so tense. I think you should rest up and go tomorrow. I saved you some food while you were gone”
“Thank you Charles” See Charles was nice but the thing is. You can’t stop thinking about Arthur. You just didn’t want to do anything about it because you didn’t want to break his heart.
“Speaking of Arthur I’m gonna go see what he wants. He was calling me earlier when I was busy so I’m gonna go check on him”
Charles walked over to the horses where he found Arthur feeding his horse.
“Arthur” Charles nodded.
“Charles! I was asking if you could teach me how to use that bow of yours. If you’d be so kind”
“Sure thing”
Charles handed Arthur his own bow and they went into the woods.
“Sorry about what happened between you and Mary”
“Yea it was never meant to be anyway”
“What makes you say that?”
“I dunno I guess things just weren’t in their right place. You ever feel like that sometimes?”
“Yea. Hey look. A boar”
The men ducked and quietly kneeled towards the beast.
“Oh Pearson will be happy with this one”
“Ok just put the arrow in the string and slightly draw it back. Not too much though”
Arthur drew the arrow and missed completely, scaring off the boar.
“Damn! It got away. I'm sorry my mind wasn’t clear”
“What’s wrong?”
“Just everything from y/n to Mary and John. This is exactly what I meant when I said everything isn’t in the right place”
“What about y/n?”
“Oh don’t play dumb you kno- oh that’s right… you don’t know”
Charles stopped what he was doing and raised his brow.
“Well I didn’t wanna be the one to tell ya this partner but before you joined us we had some history”
“She never told me that”
“I mean there's nothing between us now but I can’t lie. I think about her a lot. Even with Mary, I only got with her to try and forget about what we once had”
“You still love her?”
“Listen that don’t matter. You two are in love now and that’s it”
“I’m not sure about that. Even when me and y/n are together it never feels like she’s really there. And whenever we talk she somehow always makes the topic about something that has to do with you. I didn’t want to believe it then but I guess I always had a feeling there was something between you two”
“I’m sorry. Let’s just go back”
“No it’s fine. Just let me know how you feel about her and I’ll leave you two alone. And be honest”
“Well.. I only ever talked about this with Dutch and Hosea. We first met and got together when we were just kids. She was my first everything. God we were so young and stupid. We’ve been through a lot of things together. Done a lot of things together… said a lot of things. But like I said that don’t matter no more. You two are gonna have a baby and that’ll be the end of whatever we had”
“Baby? What the hell are you talking about?”
“When you guys were in town. I heard you talking about a baby in the store”
Charles couldn’t help but bend over laughing with his hands on his stomach.
“No Arthur you got it all wrong. We were talking about Abigail’s baby”
“Oh” Arthur scratched his neck “well now I feel stupid”
“Not to be mean but you really are an idiot. If you love that girl so much then go get her. I’m sure she still loves you”
“What about you?”
“Forget about me. I’d want her to be with the man she really wants”
Arthur just shook his head “Man you really are different from everyone else here. How’d a guy like you even end up with guys like us?”
“Sometimes I wonder that myself”
By the time Arthur and Charles made it back it was already dark.
“She’s most likely sleeping now so you might as well go in the morning”
“Thanks again Charles”
Morning
You walked out your tent to get some coffee and sat down next to Charles.
“Hi” you kissed him on the cheek.
“Y/n can I talk to you?”
“Yea what’s up?”
“Arthur told me all about you two and I realize now that I’ve been holding you back. I heard your story and you two really belong to each other. Because you’re both idiots”
You just had a blank stare and started laughing a little.
“Aw man. No, you’re right. I’m sorry for all this Charles. This whole thing has been a mess”
“Don’t dwell on it too much. I just think everything should go back to how it used to be. John should be back and you and Arthur should be together again. Even when you aren’t together you still compliment each other perfectly”
“Thank you Charles” you got up and hugged him.
You heard Arthur call your name from the horses for you to get ready and ride off.
“Ok I gotta go now I guess I’ll see you when I get back”
“Yea. And bring that other idiot back with you. It’s not the same without hearing the banter between him and Abigail”
You walked. No you power walked to where Arthur was. Now that everything was resolved you were happy to be around him again. Well almost everything was resolved. You still had to deal with Mary. Still you’d find your way around that soon enough.
Arthur had a smug smile when you approached him. “Hey troublemaker”
“You call me the troublemaker? Get real Morgan. Weren’t you the one who got John stuck in that O’Driscoll camp?”
“Who was the one who thought it’d be a good idea to shoot at birds deep in the night?”
“Who was the one who decided to burn the tent down trying to boil WATER”
“So we’re not gonna talk about that one time you almost led an actor to suicide?”
“No that was you! Don’t put that on me!”
“But you definitely made a contribution”
“Ok fine we’ll call it even”
-
“So I heard some people saying that there was a man who was camping out at the woods taking bounties”
“Yea that sounds like him. Come on”
You got off your horses and walked into the nearby town with the witnesses.
You saw a woman hanging out her clothes to dry and Arthur kicked his boot up on her wash bucket to greet her. Is he trying to show off or?
“Excuse me ma’am. Have you seen a dirty man bout yay tall” he put his hand up to his chin to show a poor demonstration of John’s height “he’s dirty and smells like dog”
“Oh you know what we should’ve gotten Copper to track him down that would’ve been easier” You explained.
Arthur lowered his head and sighed. “Listen can you just tell us where he is?”
“Well folks said he was gettin’ rough in that bar over there. I wouldn’t recommend gettin’ him riled up though I heard he bites people” The woman responded
You and Arthur just laughed. “Thank you ma’am. Let’s go”
“Y’know I never got the chance to tell you this but I’m happy for you and Mary”
“Me and Mary ain’t together no more”
“REALLY? I mean- really?? Why what happened?”
“Just didn’t feel right” he looked at you.
When you two entered the bar you already heard a ruckus.
“I told you my name ain’t John Marston. It’s Rip Van Winkle!”
“And I told you I don’t serve criminals. This is your wanted poster right here ain’t it?” The bartender pulled out the bounty and John let out a noise you could only identify as shock.
“That’s uh- that’s not me”
“Oh that’s him alright” you spoke up.
John slowly turned around with a scowl on his face.
“What are you two doing here?”
“What are YOU doing here?”
“Listen I don’t care what y’all have to say I’m not coming back”
“Abigail is really struggling without you and you’re just out here getting drunk without a care in the world“
“Y/n I put all my heart into caring for Abigail when she was pregnant. Now I come to find out that the baby ain’t even mine. It looks like it could be Dutch’s”
“Does that even matter? I thought you loved her”
“And I thought she loved me!”
“Alright I’ve had enough” Arthur came and grabbed John by the ear “yer coming back with us ya hear? You need to grow up and be a man!”
Arthur dragged him outside with you behind them and you were found surrounded by the police.
“I told you it’s them. Arthur Morgan, Y/N L/N, and John Marston all lined up!” The bartender slipped away while y’all were talking and got the law here.
“Well I’ll be damned” one of them tipped their hat. “Alright all of you come nice and easy now”
“What do we do?” You looked at Arthur.
“Just comply” he put his hands up and you and John followed.
IN JAIL
Now you three idiots were sitting looking dumb in jail. Now you finally realized why you three got that nickname. After all, before John came it used to be the two idiots. Me and Arthur. It makes you wonder. When Jack grows up is he gonna be a new addition to this unruly group of dimwits?
“I really thought she loved me” John muttered.
“She does John” you walked over to his side and put a hand on his back “and if you think she didn’t love you back then she has to now after all you’ve done for her. And to be honest, she’s not the only one who needs you. We need you. Including Arthur”
“Nah don’t bring me into this” Arthur asserted. “But y/n’s right. Some people in the camp need you”
You nudged his arm. “Ok I need you too from time to time”
“What the hell do you two know about love anyway? It’s not like you ever made it work out with each other. When we first met you two was like Romeo and Juliet and now it's all messed up. Arthur has Mary and you have Charles”
“Well actually..” you started.
“We kinda got..” Arthur continued.
“Dumped” you both said in unison.
Immediately John’s face brightened.
“So you two are going strong again!?” He said with a smile.
“We never said that-“ Arthur started.
“We’re just open now” you finished.
“Oh come on. You two are literally finishing each other’s sentences. Maybe if you two get back together then my mind will be convinced that me and Abigail can get back together too”
“Or how about if you go back to camp now then maybe me and Arthur will think about it”
“Alright”
Arthur looked at you and smiled, happy that you were ready to try again.
“Hey buddy!” You called out to the sheriff keeping watch of you three and handed him a 20 dollar bill. “Come on I know you want it”
The sheriff took the dollar and released you then shut the door when John and Arthur tried to walk out.
“What the hell?”
“She was the only one who gave me the 20 so she’s the only one who gets to leave”
They rolled their eyes and put the money into his hands and they were released.
Back at camp
Everything was back to normal now. John was back. Everyone was happy and you didn’t have to worry anymore.
You sat by a lake with Copper right next to you until you heard Arthur come up behind you.
“I ain’t bothering you am I?”
“No”
He sat down next to you and started petting Copper. “So we’re open now huh?”
“How would you explain it?” You laughed.
“I don’t know. All I do know is that I was a fool to try and get with Mary when I was the one who broke up with you. Are you mad at me?”
“A little”
“I understand. I don’t expect you to forgive me but I’m sorry”
Copper stood up to lay across you and Arthur’s legs.
You two looked at each other.
“Do you forgive me y/n?”
You put your hand on top of Arthur’s and he knew his answer.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Black dragons (first gen) reacts to: disowned s/o gets sassy with ex-family
This is requested by @mikeysboba
I'm working on the 2nd part of your request!
Thanks for waiting patiently!! I hope you like this one as well.
1st Generation Black Dragons react to; disowned s/o gets sassy with ex-family
Warnings; strong languages, some shaming all around, a lot of sexual innuendos in some parts, OOCness, and hypocritical bad family members.
Toman's version /Haitani brother version /Bonten version /Tenjiku/ {Masterlist 1} {masterlist 2}
Sidenote; In this timeline, Shinichiro Sano is not dead and won't die.
Black dragon's 1st gen reacts to:
“It’s not your husband’s blood running through your veins .”
“Yeah, but his cum does.”
-------------------------------------------------------
Backstory:
You married young and your family disapproved tremendously. You still had your whole life ahead of you and you decided to marry the neighborhood riffraff.
Well too bad you estranged from them! Still, it doesn't stop them from trying to separate both of you when you two were celebrating one of your family's "traditions". (it was a lie obviously to get you to come "home"
So that's how you were outside with your husband leaving your family's house with the screaming at you to divorce him.
" You married too young! I never gave my permission for you to marry!"
"well gee dad, ever thought that maybe just maybe I don't need it? I'm a big girl now. I know it's hard for you to understand with your tiny brian but get fucked!"
"You'd never! You'd never married this young...unless"
"Unless what? Your grasping at straws!"
"unless you were pregnant!"
"?What?"
"you married him because you were pregnant and you had to cover it up! I taught you better than to give yourself up freely to men! You whore! How could you betray us like this! Your own family?"
"Yeah, this family thing, that's not ringing any bells"
"You deceitful disgusting whore! You're no child of mine!"
"OOh are you disowning me? Well, I guess I should tell you," You leaned down closer to your father's red face "On the night of our marriage, (husband's name) deflowered me all night long. Ever since then we continue tainting each other whenever we can. So that he and I can go to hell together."
Cue your father fainting
"What did you say to him!"
" that my husband and I fuck like rabbits in our free time."
"How could you do this to us! Your family! Think about us!"
"naah not much up here for you."
“It’s not your husband’s blood running through your veins .”
“Yeah, but his cum does.”
Shinichiro Sano
He dazed out after that comment. He's used to petty fights in his own home but nothing like this. So he's lost on what to do. When he finally does get out of his daze.
"He's going to cheat on you! that's what delinquents do!"
you start laughing uncontrollably
"Shinichiro? You're talking about Schinchiro?"
"Yes! he's just having his fun with you before he leaves for another woman."
" Are we talking about the same man?"
"Who would I be talking about?"
" Shinichiro has got no game, like zero game? Man, he barely got me."
"he has no game whatsoever. He got rejected 20 times."
why did you turn it into a Shinichiro roasting session? Wasn't he the love of your life? Didn't you love him. He's silently crying over how you're roasting him alive.
"Besides, at the rate, we're going at it I'm surprised I'm not knocked up yet.
fainting all he sees is people fainting
"How could you get pregnant with a delinquent's child!"
"Oh fuck off you got grandma knocked up at a travel rest stop bathroom. At least I have the decency to do it in our own home & business!"
You know what he's fainting. It's too much for him
Takeomi Akashi
Takeomi is probably smoking that good gush jk he's probably smoking a cigarette.
He doesn't know if it's the cigarette or what you just said but he chokes.
"In fact, I think I have some still in my mouth if ya want to see."
Takeomi's mouth agape
You didn't..you didn't rat him out like that how could you!!
"You vile wretch!"
"Comming from the man who fucked a 62-year-old in his 30's I don't want ta hear it. ya grave robber!''
Now he's choking again! Your family is a hazard!
"Babe you're choking more than I do when I go down on ya. Calm down and drink some water."
He's convinced you to want to be a widow. You're going to be a widow.
Wakasa Imaushi
That bored look on his face? He's not so bored now! He's listening to all the te your family is spilling. He's all ears.
"Look at him! How could you decide to marry that!"
" At least I didn't marry my 3rd twice removed 67-year-old cousin"
"we're basically not related!"
"Sweet Home Alabama! Doesn't matter you sicko! If family blood doesn't make it the nastiest thing on the planet then I don't know what it is!"
"Your impossible!"
"Your audacity is impossible!"
"y/n we do not judge who your cousin marries!"
"But you judge mine? You know what I don't want to hear it from a woman who fucked all their husband's friends and then went to a swingers party filled with his co-workers."
"How dare you insult her! Have some class!
"I don't see none on her. Only immorality and unfaithfulness. Tell me how's it feel to never really feel clean? I mean I may have married young but I only have my husband's cum on/in me but you? You have the entire block and then some!" You laugh before turning to your husband
"c'mon baby let's go refill-" He doesn't let you continue. He sets his lollypop in your mouth.
"oh wow, are we practicing before the real thing?"
At this point, he can't do anything but drag your ass home.
Keizo Arashi
He's in shock, he's between shock and wanting to keep your mouth shut because Jesus women and everything he holds dear how could you say that with the smuggest face known on earth.
He knows your blunt and vicious when defending him but THIS?!
Please he wants to drag himself to an open grave.
He might or might not in into religion but he is sure as hell praying for the earth to swallow him whole right now!
"Please god swallow me whole!"
"Oh, I'll swallow you, whole honey! Don't you worry baby!"
#black dragons#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers scenarios#shinichiro sano#sano shinichiro#tokyo revengers shinichiro#shinichiro#shinichiro x reader#keizo arashi#Keizo Arashixreader#wakasa imaushi#akashi takeomi#imaushi wakasa#tokyorev#takeomi akashi#tokyo revengers x reader
912 notes
·
View notes
Text
The 24th of December
Cw: yandere, kidnapping, obsessive behaviour, implied murder
Ding dong, ding dong
The sounds of the island bell tune rang through the air as the clock struck 6 pm. You were out on a small stroll around the island, trying to calm your nerves as anxiety and tension festered in your stomach. Soon it was time, time for you to go home and get ready. Get ready for what? The dinner with the Nook family. Mr Tom Nook himself had invited you to celebrate toy day with him and his boys. Now this wouldn’t have been a problem a couple of months ago, you had been to their house multiple times and had eaten dinner with them as well. It wasn’t unexpected since you and Tom had an unspoken thing going on. Tom was a little old fashioned when it came to labels, he didn’t need to put any label on most of the factors in his life. His sexuality? Who cares, he's attracted to whoever he’s attracted to. His relationship to Timmy and Tommy? If they wanted to see him as a mentor then that’s fine, if they wanted to see him as a dad then that’s also fine. His relationship with you? Partners, soulmates, whatever you wanted to call it. He didn’t really care too much, he just knew what was there was real, and it very much was not just platonic. None of you had really acknowledged it, it all started as mutual admiration and trust from both sides, as any good relationship should. You watered it down to you wanting comfort and encouragement in your life, which Tom was very good at providing. But then it slowly turned into a sort of attraction, attraction that you were not ready to face. So you ignored it. But then came turkey day. You, just like toy day, were invited to eat dinner with Tom, Timmy and Tommy. And you did, and you had so much fun. The four of you ate food, watched movies, played games, and at the end of the day, after Tom put Timmy and Tommy to bed, you and him hung out together. You two just sat and talked while, admittedly, having a couple of glasses of wine. But that didn't matter, what mattered was what you said during your little chat. Tom had started talking about him and Redds past relationship. Which hadn't been new, Tom had talked about him before, mainly about how horrible he was and how he had hurt him, so this isn't exactly new territory for you. And yet, everytime you heard Tom speak about Redd, you still felt just as angry. Redd had no right treating Tom the way he did. The way he scammed poor Tom as if he was nothing more than a gullible fool, it made your blood boil. Tom deserved to be treated like the wonderful person he was, he deserved someone that loved and cared about him, someone like… You might have gotten a bit too overzealous as you told Tom what a bastard the fox was and how he deserved better. And you might have slipped up and accidentally told him something you probably shouldn't have.
You don't remember much from that evening, maybe because of the alcohol, maybe because of repression. You only remembered small glimpses here and there, some laughter, some crying, at one point you swore you two watched a movie. But beyond that, nothing, nothing but darkness. You had woken up that morning next to Tom, quite literally. It had seemed you two slept in the same bed, his bed. And it would appear that he might have clung onto you during the night because as you woke up, Tom had his arms wrapped around you. You had tried to get up carefully, not wanting to wake him up. But when you did so, Tom pulled you back down rather aggressively. And so, you just laid there for about 20 minutes before Tom finally got up.
Ever since Turkey day, Tom's behavior had started getting weirder and weirder. Anytime you entered the residential service he would stare at you with the same eerie smile as if he was a bear staring at an injured little rabbit. It made you increasingly more uncomfortable, the only reason you felt a little better was the fact that Isabelle was there with you. You remembered one time when you were discussing a resident that had been bothering you with Isabelle. Jacques, the blue bird that simply would not leave you alone. He’d been the cause of much of your disturbance and stress during the upcoming holidays. But during your conversation, you felt a pair of eyes practically drilling themselves into your perimeter. You looked over to Tom only to see he was, like usual, staring at you two. But his gaze seemed more out of it, almost unfocused, and yet, there seemed to be spite in his eyes. As soon as he noticed that YOU noticed him he immediately looked away for a few seconds before rising out of his seat and walking towards you and Isabelle.
"Hi Tom, how’s it going?" You greeted him, giving your construction consultant a half-baked smile. He smiled in return, face going from a slight frown into more of a tired smile. "I’m doing quite alright Y/N. I apologize for intervening but it would appear that O’hare is still bothering you?" Tom said as he gave you a pondering look. "Well... no. He hadn’t really been respectful of my boundaries or left me alone even when I and Isabelle have told him off several times." You told the tanuki, you could see his tail twitch slightly as you told him this. "Ah, I see. Well, I’m terribly sorry to hear that. Maybe it’s my time to step in then? No offense to your methods or anything Isabelle, but they don’t seem to be working. I know you don’t want me to intervene but I feel like I need to do something if it’s getting this bad." Tom said, turning to his coworker and giving her a look of sympathy. He knew Isabelle struggled with her appearance since not a lot of people took her as seriously as they should be, but he couldn’t just stand back while he watched you get harassed by this bird. Isabelle let out a small sigh and a slight frown. "I suppose you're right about that Tom. I think you would be a little bit more effective than I am." She looked back at you. "I’m sorry we let this get so out of hand Y/N." Before you could respond, Tom jumped in and said something, something that might not have meant to sound as hostile as it did, but nevertheless still did. "It’s simply unacceptable." Something about the way he said it, the way his eyes trailed off, the way his eyes narrowed. The initial phrase might not have been so bad, but the way he said it, it sent shivers up your spine, which Tom immediately reacted to. "Hmm? Are you cold Y/N? Or sick?" His eyes turned from minacious to gentle like a light switch being turned on. "N-No no! It’s fine. Just a random shiver. Don’t worry Tom." You said with a smile. A genuine smile. Even if Tom could be a little obstinate and overprotective, you knew it came from a good place. He cared for you, and you appreciated that. "Nonsense, if you’re feeling under the weather then you should go home Y/N dear." Tom insisted as he stroked your arm gently. You knew there was no fighting him once he made his mind up, guess you’re sick now.
That evening when you left the residential services you could feel Tom staring at you through his window as you left. You knew he meant well but sometimes he could be a little overwhelming. You just hoped he didn’t do anything to harsh with Jacques
You let out a deep sigh, a cloud of fog exiting your mouth as you did so. Cold air filled your lungs as you took yet another breath in. It was almost time, you should probably head home. As you walked across the shoreline of the island, on your way to your house, you felt a clump form in your stomach. You felt strange, almost uneasy. You didn’t want to say that you felt anxious about the dinner, but that was probably the closest expression that would describe how you felt. You knew it wouldn’t be a problem at first. Timmy and Tommy would be present until it was their bedtime, it was after that bedtime that you were worried about. You hadn’t been alone with Tom since Turkey day, and you were worried about what would happen once you were. But at the same time, you needed to talk to him, a talk which could not happen if anyone else was present during the conversation. Your thoughts came to a close as you neared your house. It didn’t matter if you felt weird about the whole thing, you needed to talk to him. And this might be the only chance to do so.
You took a deep breath, building yourself up to do such a simple task as knocking on a door. It was time. Ignoring all the feelings brewing up in your stomach and head you took one last breath, mist once more flowing out as you did so. And then, you knocked. It only took a couple of seconds before the door practically threw itself up to reveal two small, and very excited, tanukis.
"Y/N!...ʸ/ᴺᵎ" The two boys shouted. They were wearing matching christmas sweaters and Santa hats that were way too big for them. Timmy having a red sweater with the words naughty on it and Tommy having a green one with the words nice on it. Timmy grabbed ahold of your hand with his small paw and pulled you inside, all while Tommy enthusiastically bounced up and down. As you were pulled inside an immediate warmth embraced your body, like a thick blanket on a rainy night. Even so, a more prominent scent engulfed you, the aroma of fresh food was almost overbearing as you walked in. "Ohoho. Do my ears deceive me or is that our dear island representative?" You heard Toms voice all the way from the kitchen. You couldn’t help but smile as you could practically hear the grin present on his face. Tommy let out a small giggle as he ran up to the kitchen. "Don’t know! Guess you’ll have to come see for yourself!" You took off your jacket and beanie as Timmy led you over to the couch. But rather than sitting down in it, he sat you down on the big fluffy carpet next to the chimney and the big Christmas tree. Underneath it laid almost a dozen presents, seems like the constant debt that Tom was handing out finally seemed to pay off. Dumb pun aside, you felt yourself smile as you saw the sight before you. Tommy was now pulling Tom out from the kitchen and into the living room. He was wearing a Santa hat and a red christmas sweater that said "worlds best santa". As he and Tommy walked up to you and sat down next to you and Timmy, you crossed your arms and cocked your eyebrows. "I wasn’t informed that this was going to be a sweater party. Could have warned me about that, now I just feel underdressed." Tom chuckled slightly at this as he took off his hat and tossed it to you. "Here you go. Put that on, yes yes."
For the rest of that evening, you and the nooks ate the food that Tom had cooked up, all of which was absolutely delicious. Joking around as the time passed, and you felt more and more comfortable as time went on. So much to the point where you didn’t know why you felt anxious before. Finally, at 8 pm, you all gathered once more around the Christmas tree. Timmy and Tommy started unwrapping their presents in glee, most of which were from Tom, some of them were from Isabelle and Blathers, and some of them from you. Every once in a while, you and Tom would open some presents. Timmy and Tommy had given you a drawing of you and them together, which was certainly a cute gesture. You had brought the two into a big hug after that one. The boys had given Tom a mug that said "#1 dad", which almost brought the tanuki to tears. You had given Tom a custom sweater vest, just like the one he had back in the day
And still, Tom's present was something that you hadn’t quite expected. You had picked up the box which was neatly wrapped with red wrapping paper and some yellow glittery ribbons. "Ooh, what could this be? Is it a puppy?" You joked as you smirked at Tom. He let out a small laugh. "No, not quite, but be careful when unwrapping. I do hope you enjoy it, the boys helped me pick it out." Now you were intrigued. You carefully unwrapped the box and opened its lid only to see... "oh my god..." there, in the box, laid a crown. The one you had seen in the Ables shop plenty of times, the one that you had ranted about to Tom, about how you couldn’t afford it but wanted it so badly. That crown was laying before you, in your hands. "I... I’m... I-I don’t know... what to say I-'' you looked at Tom, his eyes were full of adoration and love, pure unfiltered love. And that frightened you. "Thank you Tom. Thank you." You tried putting on a smile, but it was hard as that huge clump of anxiety started to build up again. "Oh the pleasures all mine, Y/N my dear." Tom said to you as he tilted his head and gave you a gentle smile. Timmy and Tommy had started to giggle as they looked at each other, thinking the exact same thing. Everyone in the room knew what was going on, but only one person, you, knew what was truly going on.
The gift unwrapping continued. Now it was just Timmy and Tommy left that had gifts. They kept going, tearing into the gifts like hungry predators biting into their terrified prey, like... like... you lost your train of thought as you looked over at Tom. His eyes were focused on Timmy and Tommy, carefully watching their reactions to their gifts. But ever so often, Tom would look over at you, and if your eyes ever met, he would smile at you. Maybe he did it to calm you down but it sure didn’t help, not even in the slightest.
Soon, Timmy and Tommy had successfully opened all of their presents and had now shifted to playing with any of the toys they got. But that didn’t last long as Timmy let out a huge yawn and Tommy almost slumped over. Oh no. “Well, looks like it’s time for you two to go to bed, hm?” Tom said as he moved closer to the boys, taking the two in each hand. “N... noo... we’re not...” Tommy couldn’t even finish as he was interrupted by a huge yawn. “No, you’re done. Come on now.” And so, Tom led the two small tanukis up the stairs and into their bedroom. “Goodnight.” You called out to them before returning to your own state of panic. This was it. You were gonna be completely alone with Tom.
“Now then, terribly sorry about that Y/N.” Tom said as he came down the stairs. You tried to calm down but it ultimately failed. Tom was very observant, so it didn’t take long for him to see that something was wrong. “Y/N? Are you alright dear? You look a little pale.” He said as he sat down next to you. “....Tom I.... the crown, it really wasn’t necessary.” You managed to get your first concern out. You looked down in the box once more, you just couldn’t believe he would actually give you something like that. “Tsk, Y/N please. I tell you what, it was nothing really. And when I say that I’m not just being humble. It really is nothing, I assure you. I could buy five of those for you if I wanted to. So please, don’t feel guilty.” You knew he meant to say that as a way to comfort you, but that only made you feel worse. “Y-Yes I understand that it’s not a lot to you but, for me, it’s very much a lot. I know you mean well Tom but really, I just don’t know if I can accept this. I mean, it’s just too expensi-'' Tom interrupted you as he placed a hand on your cheek. You froze up as you looked into his big blue eyes. They were so calm, so gentle, so utterly terrifying. “Trust me my darling, nothing is too expensive when it comes to you.” As he told you this, he leaned in and planted a small peck on your lips. You felt your face turn pink as he let out a chuckle, still holding onto your face. “I’m happy I got to celebrate toy day with you Y/N, my sweet sweet Y/N.” Before you could respond, you felt yourself being picked up bridal style and carried away. Tom carried you to his room, it would seem like he wanted to sleep together again. Which wouldn’t be so much of a problem, the man was built like a giant teddy bear. But right now, there was nothing you wanted less than to be in close contact with Tom. But it would seem like nothing was going to stop him.
As he laid you down carefully, he laid next to you and brought you in close to him, stroking your hair and nuzzling up to you. You were completely quiet, feeling like if you said something you would die on the spot.
“...Tom....” you said quietly, trying to build up the curate to ask him the question that you came here for. “Yes?” His voice was soft and smooth, like honey, and it shook your very being. “... what... what did you say to Jacque?” As soon as the question left your mouth the atmosphere turned cold. Toms eyes trailed off as all the warmth left his eyes. “... I said what needed to be said.” It had been three weeks since Jacques had mysteriously moved out of the island and it wasn’t hard to put two and two together, you were certain that Tom had something to do with it. “I asked you not to go overboard...” You said, looking down and avoiding Tom's gaze, a gaze that was now fixated onto you. “He was harassing you Y/N! What was I supposed to do? Acting nice wasn’t going to work! I was simply-“ Tom cut himself off as he realised he was practically shouting. He let out a deep sigh. “I was simply protecting... what is mine...”
As he said this, he placed a kiss on your forehead. This certainly caught you off guard. “I’m sorry? What did you say?” You asked him, but he didn’t answer, at least not in the way you wanted him to. “You know, when I was a boy, toy day never felt as magical as everyone set it up to be. Me and my family didn’t have too many bells back then, so most I ever got were three broken crayons. Even then, I couldn’t enjoy it without feeling the guilt of pushing more money problems onto my parents. But now...” Tom let out yet another deep chuckle, he looked at you with hungry eyes, eyes that pierced into your soul. “Now, I’ve got all the bells in the world! I could buy anything! Anything and everything! Except for... one thing. One thing that I crave so deeply, yet, can never buy. You don’t understand how many years I have gone through, how many toy days I’ve had to endure. You don’t understand the amount of towns I’ve lived in, the amount of humans who have abandoned me! How do I know that you’re not going to leave me? Just like my previous humans, just like my parents, just like Redd!? I don’t want to lose you Y/N! I can’t lose you Y/N!” Toms outburst made you shrink down in his arms. You felt yourself start to shake slightly as he continued.
“Now, now that I finally have the resources, I’m going to MAKE SURE you never leave me Y/N. My sweet little darling.” You started to struggle in his grasp, hoping to get away from him. But it was no use, he was so much stronger than you in every single way. ”Hey now, hey now.... shhh, shhh. It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay. I’m here, no one is ever going to harass you ever again. Not if I have anything to say about it.” Tom said as he brought you closer once more, this time he started to kiss you a bit more roughly rather than a quick peck on the lips. You knew that struggling was futile, so you simply tried to relax yourself as he enjoyed himself. Once he was done, he looked directly at you. “This toy day, I’ve made sure to get myself something special. Just for me.” What you didn’t know at the time was that he had locked all of the windows and doors. But you would soon find out in the morning.
“I love you Y/N. Maybe you don’t realise it yet. But I do. I’ll show you, soon you will see just how much I love you.”
———————
It feels so weird to say that it’s been 2 months since I last wrote for Tom Nook. Like what? What have I even been doing??? I’ve been feeling the withdrawals and I wanted to make a little Christmas special. So hope y’all enjoy! Merry Christmas and happy holidays!
#yandere#acnh#animal crossing#yandere animal crossing#yandere acnh#animal crossing x reader#ac x reader#animal crossing new horizons#Tom Nook#yandere tom nook#tom nook acnh#timmy and tommy#tw yandere#tw kidnapping#tw obsessive behaviour#tw implied murder#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere acnh x reader#Tom nook x reader#Yandere Tom nook x reader
363 notes
·
View notes
Text
The subversion of the white male hero.
There is a right way and a wrong way to do this. Taking a legendary and iconic character like Luke Skywalker and making him a loser just to diminish contributions made by a white male character is the wrong way to do this.
Leave pre existing characters alone. Especially characters fans love. Alienating your fan base is the worst idea ever.
Kathleen Kennedy is allegedly trying to undermine Jon Favreau and Dave Filonis attempts to redeem Luke Skywalker. They want people to love Rey as the chosen one character and are bitter cry babies that people don't. They are tone deaf and have no idea what their fans even want.
This gives me anxiety. I fell into the rabbit hole of Lucasfilm drama and I can't climb out. I am afraid its going to turn me off something I have loved for 20 years.
Yes, Luke is white. But he's our childhood hero. You can subvert the white male hero narrative by creating better new characters going forward. Understanding the lore and giving these characters a chance, rather than making them speed up their training and becoming powerful for no reason. Rey didn't sacrifice and she didn't earn anything.
Her character was just fine in The Force Awakens. I really liked her. I thought they really had something. I could accept the sequels for what they were. But going after Luke Skywalker and purposely destroying his character out of spite and malice is not ok and only fuels my dislike for the sequel trilogy.
Kathleen Kennedy and Pablo Hidalgo are going to ruin Star Wars. Disney needs to fire them immediately. I am extremely worried over a franchise I deeply love, because a baby didn't get her way. No one liked her characters and her trilogy so she wants to break other people's toys.
I am done defending her. I won't even call out men who make this about her gender. Its not about that but I'm not going to correct them. Fuck her and Hidalgo to.
#luke skywalker#empire strikes back#star wars#return of the jedi#the mandalorian#lucasfilm#kathleen kennedy#disney#please fire her#we know its not because shes a woman#we wont hold it against you#she has no case in court#its because shes bad at her job#i am really worried
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
One-shot. Erik discovers his teenager is dating and older man.
Sixteen
"Uniqua," Erik yelled from the kitchen.
He was peeling boiled potatoes, getting them ready to mash as mac and cheese baked in the oven over pan-seared steaks next to potatoes. The greens were already boiling with a hambone. The fried chicken was done. The tea was made and the sweet potatoe pie was on the counter for dessert. He listened for the footsteps of his little helper, but they didn't come.
Erik sighed. Uniqua knew he was cooking for Christmas. It had been their tradition since her mother ran away. Eight years later, they still liked to cook and spend time together as a family, just the two of them on special holidays. She'd already missed her favorite parts, putting the cheese in the macaroni and sweetening the tea. She was about to miss the potato salad.
Dropping the hot potato back into the bowl in the sink, Erik walked to the bottom of the stairs. "Uniqua," he called up the staircase. Her room was over the kitchen, he knew that she could hear. He was starting to get irritated. Even if she didn't want to come down, she could at least answer.
Thudding up the stairs, he gently knocked on her door, the 'KEEP OUT' road sign swaying from the movement. He didn't hear her moving inside and her music wasn't on, so why couldn't she hear him? Was she asleep? Was she feeling okay? Concerned, he opened the door and his heart sank.
There in the John Brown nude was his only child dancing in front of her iphone's camera. Erik was frozen. In the second before he lunged at the camera, he saw what looked like a grown man on her screen. He had full facial hair and was definitely out of high school. Late twenties at least.
"DAD!" Uniqua shrieked snatching her blanket from the bed to wrap her naked body in as she dropped down to the floor. Her air pod fell from her ear onto her pink rug.
The call ended and Erik was left with his daughter's unlocked phone. Until now, he never felt a need to go through it. He opened her gallery and was mortified. She had nudes that she'd undoubtedly been sending. There were some saved images of a man too. They were all the same man, he could tell. The dick pics were all of the same dick.
Uniqua looked terrified. Her face was ghastly and rightfully so. He wanted to whoop her ass until the white meat showed. She KNEW better than to do something like this.
"WHO IS THIS THIS GROWN ASS NIGGA ON YOUR PHONE!!!?... HUH?!!!"
He held the dick pick in her face before grabbing it back to flip through the images again. He found a face in a mirror's reflection. It was that nigga she was facetiming.
"WHO THE FUCK YOU FACETIMING?"
Uniqua's eyes were huge as if she may have a heart attack.
"YOU BETTER START TALKING QUICK, I SWEAR FO' GOD..."
"H-he's m-my boyfriend," she whispered with uncertainty, clutching the blanket around herself.
"YOUR WHAT?!" Erik's eyes got huge. She had to be out of her rabbit ass mind. His head was beginning to hurt.
"Oh hell nah," he mumbled pulling up her text messages. She'd been texting a number saved as 'Daddy😜' but it wasn't him. Hell nah it wasn't him. He wanted to vomit as he scrolled through their conversation. This was a grown ass man talking to his sixteen year old daughter. She was sending him images and videos of her body like she was grown.
"OH! So you think you grown now," he nodded, fuming inside.
"N-no," she whispered.
"DON'T BE EMBARRASSED NOW, FAST ASS. YOU THINK YOU GROWN."
He dialed the number and waited on the man to pick up, but he didn't. Erik heard his voicemail, but his name wasn't recorded.
"What's his name? Where he live? What you know about this nigga? I wanna know everything you fucking know. Matter fact, I'm reading all these texts and you can get dressed and sit ya ass right there because you ain't leaving the fuckin house until you 18. KEEP FUCKIN UP. YOU SIXTEEN! YOU CAN'T EVEN KEEP YOUR FUCKIN ROOM CLEAN!"
She sat closed in on herself, afraid to move as she cried, silently hiccuping. Erik was furious. She KNEW better.
"Get the fuck outta my sight," his lip twitched. He watched as she stood with her blanket and snatched her clothes from the floor, scrambling from the room. Standing, he watched to make sure she went into the hall bathroom.
"What the fuck," he groaned holding his head. Uniqua had never given him problems of this nature. This was illegal and her so-called boyfriend was a pedophile.
As Erik read through all of the messages, his heart beat faster. He felt fear, actual fear. He saw that the conversation went back to February. How had he missed it? How had she hidden him that long? Was he a bad parent for not noticing? He felt like a horrible parent, like somehow he'd failed. What else had he missed? What if he hadn't walked in. He'd have never known and his only daughter could've gone missing. His pride and joy, she could've been trafficked or dead somewhere. He exited from the messages and his foot tapped the floor anxiously. He could hear his daughter out in the hall as the bathroom door creaked.
"UNIQUA SHANICE STEVENS," he shouted. "GET YA ASS BACK IN HERE."
She shuffled down the hall and back into the room with her head down in shame, not knowing what else to say or do as her father stared, his expression stern.
"Dad, I'm sorry," she whined, fresh tears in her eyes. It looked like she genuinely meant it.
"Did you meet up with him," Erik asked.
"No!" She leaned forward with strong conviction. "I was going to but I didn't. "
"So you didn't have sex with him."
"I swear I did not!" Her hand raised in a solemn vow as her tears continued. She sniffled. Erik wasn't sure whether to believe her, but she'd NEVER done anything like this before.
Erik frowned, trying to read her. This only made her cry more.
"I-I d-don't.. want you.. to be m-mad.. at me," she sniffled, her eyes now red. "I d-don't want.. want y-you to," she sniffed, "to be disappointed!"
"Tell me EVERYTHING you know about this guy," Erik stressed again.
His daughter began to break down, coming clean about everything that had been hidden. Erik thought his head would spin. He sat and listened as she spoke, saving his comments. He wanted her to continue with the honesty even if he hated what was coming out.
-----
Erik waited outside of the apartment building where his daughter had directed him. She was currently on lockdown at the house with no phone, laptop, or mp3. The wifi password had been changed and he made it very clear that if she left the house, he would definitely beat her ass and then she'd never see her phone, mp3, laptop, or room door again. He wasn't one to bluff and she knew that.
Erik's eyes followed the tall, skinny brown skinned male from the building to the lot. Before he could get to his car, Erik hopped out of his black truck approaching the man.
"Aye nigga.." Erik swung as soon as the man turned around, hitting him square in the nose before gripping his collar to hit him again in the same spot.
The man grabbed at his face, gingerly touching his bloody nose. It was definitely broken.
"FUUH-SHIT!!" The man howled in pained surprise. He didn't know who Erik was.
Erik held up his daughter's school picture. She had a blown out ponytail and sat smiling angelically, blue and pink braces on display, with an electric blue and white hoodie which said 'Billie Eilish', large silver hoops, glittery lipgloss, and her hands crossed over each other. It was obvious that she was young.
"She's sixteen," Erik emphasized. "She's my CHILD and she's SIXTEEN. LOOK AT THE PICTURE."
He pushed it in the guy's face, looking out the corner of his eye at the couple of onlookers, an older black couple.
"He's a grown ass man talking to my teenage daughter," Erik explained showing them the picture. Their judgmental gazes turned to the man who held his hands up as if innocent.
"Whoa! Wait now.. Nah, she told me she was 19!" His head shook as he tried to defend himself.
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT SHE TOLD YOU, HER FUCKIN FACEBOOK, INSTAGRAM, TIKTOK ALL SAY UNIKKY03 OR HAVE HER AGE POSTED."
Before the man could lie again, Erik pulled up the screenshot he took on his daughter's phone.
Daddy😜: I'm 31 is that okay with you?
Uniqua: that's fine I look 19 anyway 😜👌
Daddy😜: You're very mature for a teen 😚
The man looked at the message as if it were brand new and he'd never seen it before.
"OH HELL NO," a loud voice came from the left. A young man early 20s drinking a Red Bull with his phone in his other hand. "HE'S A KIDDIE DIDDLER?!?!"
Erik held up the picture of his daughter as the guy came nearer, squinting at the photo.
Without warning, Red Bull lunged ahead jumping on the man in question as Erik stood shocked.
Red Bull beat the breaks off the nigga, spitting on him before stumbling back.
"All yours cuz," he mumbled.
Erik didn't hesitate. He couldn't forgive any man who would prey on his one and only child. A man who would do it once would do it again, only next time it would be someone else's child.
He kicked the man in the ribs six times before he came to himself. Stepping back, he glanced at the couple. The woman waved him on.
"Beat his ass!"
"I'm a grandfather. You do what you gotta do for your family," her husband shrugged watching on. The neighborhood was out today.
Erik circled the man on the ground. He started to pull his gun and in his mind.. he saw himself pulling the trigger. However, he took a step back. He was a father who needed to be there for his daughter. Especially now more than ever. She was more important. She was his first priority.
Still, Erik needed to make a point.
Snatching his gun from the concealed holster on his waist, he racked it fast and put it to the man's head as he laid busted up on the concrete. No one made a move to stop him, walking around him instead.
"If you so much as breathe in my child or ANY child's direction.. I'll kill you AND your entire family. Do you FUCKIN hear me."
Erik leaned down further as the man groaned in agony.
"I SAID DO YOU FUCKIN HEAR ME."
"YES, YES, I hear you," the man winced as Erik stood, staring down at him before stepping over him and heading back to his car.
He nodded to the couple and Red Bull before pulling off.
"Alright," Red Bull nodded back. The couple waved as Erik drove away.
-----
"I'm sorry," Uniqua whined when Erik walked in the door. She was sitting in the living room, watching Christmas movies and waiting. When he entered, she stood walking toward him slowly, the way she always did when something was heavy on her mind. She walked up until she collided with him, tucking her head into his chest and he sighed. He couldn't stay mad at his own child. She was only a kid afterall.
He swallowed her up in an embrace and walked her back to the kitchen. There was a pan of cornbread sitting on the counter.
"Ah, you made cornbread," he smiled.
She beamed, her eyes still red. He could tell she'd been crying the entire time. His heart broke, but at the same time he knew he had to be tough for her own safety.
"You understand why I got so angry, don't you? I just want you to be safe. Grown men, especially men that age don't need to be messing with little girls your age. They only to that because they're predators and grown women don't put up with that shit. Promise me you'll never talk to anyone like that without telling me."
"I promise!" She looked like she might cry again.
"Aight," he said letting it go. "Come here." He raised his arms beckoning her to collect her hug.
She came quickly, hugging her father tightly as he sighed.
"Stick to boys your own age, just let me meet em first," he said putting a heavy hand atop her head.
"I promise... No one over 19," she said.
"Sixteen," Erik corrected.
"Oh! That's what I meant," she nodded quickly getting the message. "Sixteen."
@muse-of-mbaku @imaginewhoever @goddessofthundathighs @panthergoddessbast @thadelightfulone @misspooh @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @marvelmaree @youreadthatright @forbeautyandlife @theunsweetenedtruth @bidibidibombaclaat @myboyfriendgiriboy @dameshaemonique @blackpantherimagines @vikkidc @hidden-treasures21 @mysidefanting @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @syndrlla97 @winteroflife @thotyana-in-this-hoe @texasbama @gingerylimonte @princessstevens @magic-madness-heavensin @wawakanda-btch @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @wakanda-inspired @blackgirloneshots @thegucciwaffle @thiccdaddy-mbaku @drsunshine97 @purplehairgawdess @indigoxsummers @cccccx1 @dynastylnoire @iamrheaspeaks @blowmymbackout @fonville-designs @they-call-me-le @theblulife @raysunshine78 @sheisexcellent
148 notes
·
View notes
Text
A friend and I were talking one day, and she shared this with me.
She was much like me, raised with a quarter between the knees, terrified of the things we were taught to avoid and trying to live reasonably noble lives. She wasn't allowed Birth Control for religious reasons (pro-life) as well as to prevent enablism. Her family was much more religious than mile, though I still went to church during my Sophomore, Junior, and Senior years of high school.
She married a guy 10 years older than herself, who was a long-time routine customer of her family's business. They married right after she graduated high school, long before she applied to higher education.
She is a nurse now. She has 3 kids, works long hours at a hospital, and her husband is a successful farmer as he always has been. She struggled at times, but she made it through.
She knows life would have been easier without the first child, but she was innocent and naiive and I think she realizes that she jumped in the deep end of the pool before learning how to swim.
I did the same thing.
All through high school I pledged to abstinence until marriage. I hated everything to do with sex. The topic, the drama, the action, the result. I wanted nothing to do with it.
But I also never dated through grade school at all. I never had a girlfriend. Plenty of crushes (M.S. above being one of them), but just as many denials. Because I didn't drink, smoke, do drugs, have FFA animals, or play athletics, I also wasn't a member of any social group. I was always the kid in the corner of the cafeteria scarfing food down in 5 minutes and sleeping the other 20, or asking to go to a teacher's classroom, where it was serene and quiet.
My freshman year of college, I even wrote an essay on abstinents for English class. That really didn't go over well in regards to having to read it out loud. There might as well have been fruit flying at me.
My dorm was set up such that we had 3 private bedrooms that shared a living space and bathroom. One of the roommates always had girls over, and he never tried to be quiet (or if he did, he failed...badly).
So those two things were my indoctrination to college life. Getting judged and leered at for writing an abstinence essay, and having to listen to a roommate multiple times a week.
Towards the very end of my freshman year, a girl from high school messaged me. We started talking, and she admitted that she had always had a crush on me and was too shy to ever say anything.
Error #1: For no good reason whatsoever, I agreed to formulate a relationship with this female
So when I moved home from the dorms, I hung out with the lass a few times, but my parents were moving out of the country and closer to my school, so I could live at home. That meant that this would now be a 1.5-hour-each-way medium-distance relationship.
So every 4th or 6th weekend during the remainder of that summer and into the fall semester, I would drive up and spend a day with her. Sometimes, I would drive her out of the country and into the city to give her a glimpse of escape (it was very impoverished where we grew up).
Error #2: Doing whatever made her happy
I really enjoyed the time that we spent together. She got me a purity necklace for Christmas that year. She said she understood that my preference meant something to me.
But then, something changed. She would start dropping enuindos and jokes and send me photos that I didn't ask for.
Error #3: Not standing up for myself
She said that I meant something to her, and asked me if she meant something to me. At the time, I did not comprehend that as a trap...but I wanted to make her happy, so I said "yes".
The next thing I know, she is booking a hotel for us for Valentine's day. Wherein, I learned a thing or two or five or ten that I really wasn't interested in learning in the first place.
-Provides Clorox to help scrub the thoughts from your mind-
After that, she wanted me to come see her more and more often. But I was tied up with school and life.
Mind you, we usually had a phone call every night, or at least every other night. Same time, right before bed. Sometimes we would fall asleep on the phone with eachother.
Error #4: Accepting anything as fact
Well one night, I called her, and she answered...but it was noisy in the background, like she was driving. But she never talked while driving, and wouldn't answer the phone with family in the car.
She said she was in a friend's car and they were going to the beach for the night, which was completely reasonable for the time of year and her group of friends. She cut the conversation short saying they had arrive, so we bid our greeting. But she didn't hang up, and something told me that I shouldn't either. So I didn't.
"Who was that?"
"Don't mind him. He was just calling to check on me. He's controlling like that."
"He sounds like a jerk"
"Enough about him. He won't do this."
-Provides more clorox-
And that's how I found out that her primal needs were more important than our "relationship".
Unfortunately, shortly after I broke up with her, I was sent a photo of her quite visibly pregnant. Fortunately, the timetable did not add up to Valentine's day (aside of the fact that it was physically/biologically 95% impossible).
That summer, I started a job at the student newspaper. Right off the bat, one of the graphic artists and I got along very well. We spent way too much time at work talking to eachother and goofing off, instead of working. Enough so that our boss took notice and things got tense for a bit with him. We still cranked out work no problem, but we were both too young to understand workplace policy and procedure when it comes to "dating but not dating", which is basically exactly what we were doing. We spent alot of time together. I would go to her dorm after class and we would watch movies and just goof off or do whatever. We enjoyed time together.
Error #1: So cliché. So, so cliché.
So Valentine's day rolls around, and she asks 'the question'.
So something in biology: There is a term called "Once an animal has the taste of blood, they will always hunt for it." Unfortunately, humans can sometimes be considered a sub-species of the animal kingdom.
Like the dumbass that I am, I accept to the terms and conditions.
And at the end of the night, she asks: "So are we officially dating now?"
"I...I guess?", I answered nervously.
Errors #2 to #457: Not escaping
And just like that, I was suckered into nearly 2.5 years of having a FWB while having to, very creatively at times, mask it as a legitimate relationship.
We enjoyed the time we spent together.
We enjoyed going places together.
My mum liked her, her parents liked me. (Dad was skeptical at best and thought I could do better)
The small issue: I struggled to communicate at times. I didn't know how to find my voice, so there were times that I would have to text her how I felt. Sometimes I would hide in a corner just so I could cry. (I later learned of my autism, and it all made sense and I learned how to resolve this)
The big issue: I was completely burned out on intimacy. After almost 2.5 years of emulating laboratory rabbits, I was done. My usefulness had expired.
The biggest issue: We were both suffering academically. We had no common interests at all anymore, and we had put eachother ahead of our own academics so much that we were both risking academic expulsion.
So we mutually agreed to break up.
She dropped out of university (and never went back or finished her schooling), and I changed majors twice before getting my Bachelor of Science.
My first relationship lasted from June 2009 to April 2010.
My second "relationship" lasted from February 2011 until May 2012 (Although we started spending time together in significant amounts starting August 2010)
I have not had a girlfriend since May 2012.
I had one friend in my senior year of college, who gave me some non-physical affection while also keeping me firmly locked in the friendzone. But quality time, by itself, only goes so far.
I have not had any physical affection since May 2012.
I have not spent quality time with a female since May 2013.
For most of that time, from May 2013 to August 2019, I really didn't mind it at all. I have been so tied up in working, hobbies, and life in general, that I completely ignored women.
But as my birthday loomed near in October 2019, it donned on me....I was on a crash course to being eternally lonely.
So I have tried online dating. I have gone on a few first dates, but no second dates.
Sometimes, I want to give up. The fight just doesn't seem worth the reward.
And honestly?
Sometimes I feel exactly like my friend's remarks at the top of this post. Sometimes I wish I would have been a little more rebellious, a little more care-free, a little more out-there.
But at the same time, ...
Sometimes I wish that neither relationship would have ever happened.
That I would have never learned the true definition of intimacy.
That I would have never done whatever it took to make the other person happy.
That I wouldn't have been such an easy push-over.
That I would have stuck to my initial pledge in life
That I would have spoke up more and defended myself.
All I am now, is damaged product.
I don't truly know how to love.
I don't truly know how to feel.
I don't truly know how to be myself.
I don't truly know how to be intimate.
I am human, I am male, so of course I have my moments. But I don't want that to be the reason for a relationship. I want it to be the least-important factor, or not a factor at all.
I want a relationship founded on trust, honesty, fortitude, common interests, personality, maybe even a little faith.
Not intimacy.
I just want to not be invisible, or to only have one attribute visible.
I want to be seen for all the other attributes.
I am not A-sexual. I still feel emotions and feelings. I just don't want to let them out of the locked box which contains them. Not without lots of context and preparedness.
1 note
·
View note
Text
7/20/18
--------------------------
Pt.20
--------------------------
“You didn't get along with her, so this shouldn't be affecting you this bad.”
(She saw how you treated me and wanted to adopt me.)
“You trust people too easy, girl.”
( I had known him for 13 years. I built that trust. )
“You put yourself in this situation.”
( I didn't ask for it.)
“I never liked him anyways, trash grew legs and took itself out.”
(I loved him for five years.)
▪▪ ·I love you, mom. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted me to be.
---
▪▪ ·I'm at work I'll message you when I'm off. Ly2.
---
▪▪ ·I could use a call right now.
---
▪▪ ·Can't talk right now, will call tomorrow. You'll be fine for a day.
--------------------------------------------------
▪ You're my best friend. I love you. I can't take it anymore.
---------
▪ I think this is it.
--------------------------------------------------
▪▪▪ Thank you for always loving me unconditionally. You're the greatest sister anyone could ask for. I love you. You're better off without me.
--------------------------------------------------
You came to visit me two days after i was taken into the hospital on july 20th at 9 o'clock at night.
I was drinking an excessive amount within the matter of two hours.
Within the last few minutes of the second hour, I saw the walls of the world around me collapsing.
This is it.
I have nothing left.
My mind wouldn't rest. I took a xanax but it didn't help ease my mind.
It sure couldn't mend my broken heart.
This was the last time.
It didn't work before.
It has to work now.
So I begged, and I cried.
I prayed to a God I wasn't even sure existed.
Please take me now.
I want to come home.
I think I'm ready now.
JUST TAKE ME NOW. I AM READY. PLEASE FUCKING TAKE ME. I'M READY.
I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I made the choice to give into my thoughts and my depression. I made the choice to finalize this shit I consider living. This existence. This truly was it. This is the end.
I let my hands trace their way to my fate. To my drawer. Opening the pill bottle. Where the palm of my hand met my lips to fill my mouth with what I knew would make everything better soon. Next thing I know, my body was lured to the bottle of vodka as it stands at the end of the bed. I wrap my fingers tight around the neck of the bottle, lips to the glass. Down the hatch and into the rabbit hole I go. I feel my body spiral. Down...down...down...down…
Boom
So bitter.
Yet so good.
Was this the only way i could be happy again?
I will reach the numbness I yearn to undergo.
I've heard the rumors.
Does it seem as free as they say?
Then along came the thump.
ALAS~
Nothingness.
Darkness. No voices, no pain, no criticism. Just the echoes of my heart beat.
Thump.. Thump….. Thump….
After what felt like days… the darkness fades steadily. The numbness dissolves like ice through my fingertips.
Off in the distance I hear something. A cry? A car? A siren? A siren.
I struggle to come to consciousness.
I find it nearly impossible.
Then out of the blue, I hear a voice.
A voice so faint and familiar.
After some time, I can open my eyes half way as I slip back into consciousness.
My vision is hazy. I managed to come to when I hear her voice.
“Cayley, there's some people here who need you to get up and come outside. They need to check on you.”
I see the pigments from the lights spinning on their vehicles, bouncing off of the brick walls on the outside of my home, but it's all blurry.
I struggled to stand as I stepped through my threshold to go outside.
Who needs to talk to me? About what? Why?
I look up and see two policemen and a paramedic. I begin to hyperventilate.
“Is my dad okay?”
Ma'am, we received a call stating that you may be a harm to yourself, so I ask that you don't resist help. Are you able to follow us to the back of the ambulance, ma'am?
·I haven't done anything and I'm not a harm to myself.
·For your own safety we need to make sure that's true. We can't take risks, miss.
·I'm sorry, please ma'am let go of my arm, I don't need help. GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME I AM FINE.
I hear my father talking to the police officer but couldn't make out what they were saying over dad's coworker crying and all of the sounds around me. I panicked. I heard my dad speaking once more, only this time it was directed at me.
He asked me three things.
“CAYLEY BABY WHAT’D YOU DO?”
“WHAT DID YOU TAKE?”
My hearing began to fade slowly, as I focused on the ringing gradually developing in my head. I could ever so slightly hear the walkie talkies and daddys office keys jingling in his pocket. I heard Sues charm bracelet that she loves so much.
I felt my heartbeat through my chest, as if it was trying to escape. I feel my heart rate descend, I look up to see what was around me. Everyone was there.
I saw my father crying and shaking.
I saw his girlfriend crying.
I saw my father's coworker crying.
I was embarrassed.
Yet, too weak to care.
I muttered to the medic under my breath;
“I'm ready to go. Ma'am please take me.”
I collapse, but the woman was quick to catch me. She definitely had motherly instincts. Not even 2 seconds after i collapsed, I lose consciousness.
I woke up in the back of an ambulance. I'm being hovered by two men with papers on clipboards and the medic who stopped me from busting my ass on concrete. They're bombarding me with questions and demands.
“Your oxygen levels are low, ma'am. I need you to inhale and exhale on ten. The oxygen being distributed through the tubes in your nostrils is a bit cold. Just a fair warning. Are you physically capable of removing your tunnels, lip piercing, your engagement ring, and whatever else pierced or on your person that could be a threat to yourself of me?”
“Do I have to take off my ring?”
“Yes ma'am, unfortunately it's code. We'll put it in this bag. It will stay unbothered. Please remove your piercings.”
Shortly after I began hyperventilating because I couldn't stop crying, and boom.
All consciousness was lost.
How could I harm anyone with a ring?
She should have been patient, anyways.
~Don't rush me.~
You asked me why I did it. It took you two days, it took my father less than 60 seconds to get to me when he saw the ambulance at the door.
You took 48 hours to muster the pride to visit me, and when you did, you showed no emotion at all. You hugged me that day and I felt no love.
I was barely aware of what was going on, yet I somehow sensed tension coming from your end. As if you were forcing yourself to care when deep down you knew you didn't.
I felt like I was being smothered by a well maintained, ‘JLo Glo’ scented greeting mat.
Even when I was much younger and you would stay in and drink, you'd hug me and I felt this giant strange force field of motherly love surrounding me, if that makes any sense. There was a step by step process of your home drunk persona and it went the same way every time.. but I'll get to that in a moment.
Anyways, I'm still thankful you showed. Even two days late. You had me slightly convinced that you actually cared.
ALMOST. I was informed of the insensitive remarks you made to my father about me. You really had the audacity to turn around and say I was wanting everyone to be worried about CAYLEY because ‘everything has to be about CAYLEY and CAYLEY was just looking for attention'.
Like I didn't come home from school and take two steps through the threshold only to see you crying because you got dumped. You threatened to end your life. (Because you loved this man so much. The man you are with now. 9 years later. The man you use for money. Whom you cheat on) Me and your biological daughter took you and admitted you.
I felt like i betrayed you, but i needed you to be alive. For...whatever reason. I guess cos y'know.. a 12 year old needs a parent. You came home and the meds they gave you calmed you down, but you liked that too much. You quickly became dependent, actually you still are. You contradict yourself too often.
Don't you remember what I have been put through..? By you, mostly. You were and still are so hypocritical that it makes me chuckle. Sigh- anyways, I couldn't fully comprehend anything you said during our visit. I couldn't gather the energy to move nor look at you, let alone reply to your bullshit motherhood quotes.
You left when the time was up, two weeks go by in a blur still ever so slowly, and they transfer me. People were able to reach out to me. A handful of people I love and cherish which includes my sister, my father, his girlfriend... the woman who has been more of a mother to me than you ever were.
It didn't take much time after me being in that God forsaken inpatient facility for me to be pulled aside by a nurse in a confidential manner. My brain threw around every possible reason as to why she was doing this.
--------------------------------------------------
Am I going home?
Are they moving me again?
What did I do wrong?
--------------------------------------------------
~ Nothing, stop with the assumptions~
She informed me that I had received multiple calls from a woman saying she is my mother but she couldn't pass it through because another woman, who ALSO claimed to be my parent/caregiver, had requested that this number (she was giving me )go on a restricted no contact list. She handed me a sheet of paper with with a number on it. Buttttt, it wasn't yours. So I had no idea what was going on. Who's my caregiver? Did my sister put you on the no call list? Nope. It wasn't your number and you never do wrong, so you denied having anything to do with that whole thing. I decided to call the number while the addiction groups were in the other room. I had no reason to be there so I had time to meditate, draw, socialize, or find out who was on the other end of that phone line.
It's obvious what I chose.
It took a few tries until someone finally answered. When they did I felt like an idiot. How could I not know.
You hated her because of how hard she tried to see me and my siblings. You had so many hateful things to say about her, yet no validation. It made you angrier when you told us about her then made her out to be a bad guy and we still got in touch with her. You hated that, didn't you. You hated it because the truth was going to come out if we found her.
Lady, I met my real mother when i was 11 years old. That was the day my father bought my favorite hat… a black fedora with a blue stripe inside of a purple stripe in the middle (which I still own). I was wearing this black shirt with a red graphic design on the front and back that was WAY too baggy on me and a pair of cuffed blue jeans, I do believe. It's been eight years, I have great memory but I'm not special like that.
If it weren't for daddy, my sister, and my brother... I would've never known who she was. Well, when I finally got ahold of my biological mother on the phone the day after I received the number by the nurse… she was genuinely upset. She said one thing that will stick to my brain for the rest of my life.
“I lost you once I can't lose you again”
You won't have to.
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
tectinic
#1 Gears fan!!
freyja81posts
Alles was ihn hart macht
yashgandharv8
Untitled
m0rtiis
waow
catonvenus
catonvenus