#i have done so many redraws this year and i am feeling really fucking good about them all ngl
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it's still me against the music
#my art#digital art#fan art#art#glee#glee art#glee fanart#santana lopez#brittany s pierce#brittana#gleesource#brittanasource#matm#im still not over this gcv and i never will be#i have done so many redraws this year and i am feeling really fucking good about them all ngl#like this isn't technically a direct redraw but im counting it anyway and it slaps
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Posting by Queue, or: why I need some distance from my crafts
It has been some time since my last hobby meta blog entry, it had different reasons and one is that I need distance. Like, yes I of course enjoy crafting and sometimes I am like a little child that runs everywhere to show off things.
But it got ... less intense. And I learned I do better when I keep projects or at least details to myself to sit on them for longer. That the first euphoria is purely mine and not to be shared.
Like for my photos I have a buffer of several weeks now. Yes, I know past-me would have kind of hated that. But I learned I do better when I have a time buffer. I do take photos weekly but sometimes they don't feel special enough to get the weekly photo feature?
Friday & yesterday I went out for photos and while I like the ones from yesterday way more than the ones from friday I am not sure if the set from yesterday will get the feature or not as it's only a hand full of photos giving me that certain spark.
Other than that I am a very emotional artist, I sometimes really fuck up my art and hate it at the moment I worked on it, but then, sometimes, after a few days or weeks I can look at it and just wonder about what was my problem the day I made it.
Another thing is that I, myself, enjoy my art. The process of it. And I like to see my blog updating, sometimes I forget what post will go online and then I check the blog and think "ah yes, this was that thing!", and it reminds me why I made the blog overall, to show myself I had progress and that every tiny step counts.
Which leads to another reason why I hold back in regards of posting. Yes, I do share some snippets in my stories over on insta but not always and not all. I sit on over 300 drawings from the last two years alone nobody ever will see, I enjoyed drawing but it's nothing for the public eye. I will maybe go back and redraw some and share the redraws then, who knows?
But wait, there is actually more reasons.
The biggest or main reason is ... i sometimes go really wild on projects. In January I finished so many dolls it was insane, I worked on Cosplays and other crafts in an incredible speed, I have literally no idea where I found the time but I somehow did and doll parts arriving every week did the rest.
I keep the blog running with partially 2 month old stuff but .... to be honest I don't have doll stuff aside photos to do anymore. All I can do is wait for bodies to be shipped (or dolls even) and arrive. There has been no movement since January. Aside Iza getting the shipping notice for our Split, might take a while until its at her place and I can't really start on the Akuma until I got the body (which I at least have finally ordered this month) as colors need to be matched and mods to be made.
I am truly itchy to do something else than sewing all the time, I do enjoy cosplay but you know how much I like sewing (hint: not at all). So to remind myself of the fun I had in the past weeks I have mixed my blog to bless me with some progress I had which was maybe not sewing all the time. And well, the Cosplays have deadlines and I do get some ideas aside purely sewing while doing them, so that keeps me going for now.
Yes, I could start redoing dolls like Alastor or Erwin. But you know what? IT'S ALMOST ALL SEWING. Urgh.
Aside that real life is pretty good at eating me up and I just want to enjoy crafting. Right now drawing feels like stress relief but I hate the results and just scan the pieces and put them away to never look at them again, I have a bunch of posts queued up without any captions, a wip entry of a current project only has two photos but I lack the spoons to actually get them done. But since those posts are so far back it's fine (yes I know drafts are a thing).
In general I enjoy having my art to myself to get used to it before I put it out into the wild as I just recently got reminded I do bad with direct comparisons still and it hits some triggerpoints from the past and makes everything harder, I don't need that.
I literally have no idea if this blog makes sense even, lol. I just am tired of sewing and stopped working on my current project around lunch time and have drawn so much today and I walked way too much the whole week my friends urged me to stay the ef home and at least try to relax. But I'm restless as my body is too stressed (I know it all I'm a certified relaxation trainer so eh), so, have an over the place blog entry.
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i just deleted this post ^ bc i’ve been seeing it circulate more but without the additions i’ve made n honestly i’ve had it up to here lmao
for like months on end ppl have been reblogging this unknowing that this led to me getting diagnosed w aphasia after an incident at school a few years ago that left me w some brain damage that went undetected at the time. while it answered a lot of things for me it also made a lot of things worse. originally when i didn’t know i had aphasia, i was fine w ppl reblogging it but now seeing people reblog it with things like “LOL THIS IS SO FUNNY HAHA ITS FUNNY THAT THIS PERSON JUST FORGETS THINGS A LOT” or people treating it like a spectacle or worst of all i’ve seen people REDRAWING IT WITH CHARACTERS FROM FANDOMS!!!! LIKE REDRAWING ME LITERALLY GETTING A DIAGNOSIS FOR BRAIN DAMAGE WITH FANDOM CHARACTERS. like i’m not even a person and that my struggles are the main center point.
and look i’m not here to say you CANT laugh at this post. i have many times and i’m genuinely thankful i learned i had aphasia even if it wasn’t thru conventional means but good god am i fucking tired of seeing people treat my condition as a joke. i am fucking tired of seeing people treat me like i’m lesser or that aphasia is a funny thing to go through.
aphasia is not a fun thing to deal with. there’s times where it feels like hell. i forget major parts about things i am extremely passionate about. there’s times where i forget what my house looks like, or where i even live. worst of all, what i before being diagnosed chocked up as nothing but typical monthly art block has instead being me forgetting entire parts of how to do art and having to pick up the pieces over the course of weeks to the point where even simple things can seem virtually impossible to draw. i say this is the worst because art is genuinely my main passion in life like in a way i can’t describe and having to deal with that at least once a month when i know i have the capability to do amazing things but my condition is halting me back from achieving that greatness is. fucking infuriating.
so yeah. there’s no harm in laughing at this post because it is really funny. i don’t blame you if you do. but to see it and then to decide trivialize aphasia like it’s just “haha funy dumb forget disorder” is really upsetting, and just shows that the ableism on this site, especially towards those w conditions that affect memory, is way more prevalent than you may think because for half a year ive had to put up w comments like that. with people basically calling me dumb because of something literally engraved in my brain. and i’m done. even though i like this post because it let to a major veil looming over my life to be lifted….you guys really gotta treat disabled people with Basic Human Respect for once LMAO
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Madness draws: Behind the Scenes of the latest Farin&Bela pencil drawing.
Aka the one that’s also my icon, even when that was a big risk to take because normally I start hating the photos I have once drawn, especially if I have failed miserably. This is how the drawing itself turned out:
ATTENTION: The original post about that drawing, with better image, behind this link.
This post is solely about the process itself with lots of pictures and also plenty of gifs, because I promised to do one if people would like to see that and I got some comments saying that they’re looking forward for that. So, here’s now that post!
For starters I have to apologize for the terrible quality that is the photos. I used my phone camera only and never thought about posting them, I just took them as a reference for myself and to show the progress to a friend and only after finishing the drawing I noticed that the angle of the camera causes a huge impact on the perspective of the drawing, so I sometimes might have done useless work when I thought some perspective was wrong when it was actually the photo that was wrong and not my work! I mean, take a look at these photos of the finished piece:
You see that? I realized this when I took maybe the second photo of the Farin sheet and looked at it and couldn’t believe my eyes because I didn’t remember drawing his torsto THAT small! And then I looked at the drawing and was like “wtf???” because it looked nothing like in the photo and then it hit me...
Also, another thing that I learn was that I might need to pay more attention to the perspective of the whole thing also because when I draw, I sit at the table so I am constantly seeing the drawing from my perspective instead of looking at it from above so that’s probably also going to affect the way I draw. I try to keep that in mind in the future so I can avoid redrawing things again and again just because my perspective is different than the reference photo’s.
Also the giant forehead of Farin’s in the photo on the right might have caused me to laugh a bit too much but anyway, let’s continue~ Or more like: let’s start for real this time.
Here’s the reference photo to y’all:
What I did in photoshop was to draw a line between them to see how I can divide the photo on two A4 papers. I had been thinking about this photo for some time already because it’s one of my favorites (but now I just feel cringy looking at it after I have drawn it... goddamnit!), and I got this idea that I could try drawing it on two papers in case I fuck up so I can start over or try again without having to do twice the work! Which was actually a good decision because this was the first version of Farin:
And it was awful. I also realized I had never drawn Farin’s face from he front. I have drawn him before from the side a few times but maybe once it came out actually good so that was why I decided to do the 2 paper method - because I knew it was not going to be an easy job! Bela is relatively easy to draw so I knew already that I would not have too many problems with that one.
I struggled with Farin’s eyes the most, at first.
It took me a while to figure out how to do that white line in his lower lid. Keep in mind that this was my first face portrait in over 10 years so I was very, very rusty and I just didn’t remember how to draw like anything anymore. (The photo is tilted because Bela’s face is a bit tilted and my hand can’t draw anything that is not straight [lol] so I have to rotate the photo in order to even draw the sketch of Bela’s eyes.)
So I took my sketchbook and tried to do some eyes...
I was still struggling so much here until I remembered about blending. And I didn’t have my hopes high but grabbed the eyeshadow applicators (my fave tool for blending) anyway, and switched to my other sketchbook in case the paper was the issue and:
Blending. It was all about blending! So with that in mind, I realized I can continue and I don’t need to do these in my old way, everything doesn’t have to have a lineart done but some of the job is done not with the pencils but with the eraser.
Anyhow, the previous Farin looked really bad and was too big as well so I just discarded that and started a new sheet because the old lines were not coming off properly anymore. I don’t remember if this is the old face or new but I think this might still be the old one:
Yes it definitely is the old because look at those lines! This is the new sheet:
And in the photo you can see one of my pencils - I use Derwent Graphic pencils, it’s a 12 pencil set with very soft pencils, starting with H, F and HB and ending to 9B. With this one I used F, HB, B, 2B, 5B, 7B and 9B. The white pencil is actually my new love aka the eraser pencil Koh-I-Noor Hardmuth. It’s amazing, I recommend! I just didn’t order 10 new ones this other day. I actually used about 1,5 full eraser pencils on this drawing alone so that’s why 10.
Here’s a “little” gif of the process on Farin:
I felt crazy when I went for the shirt, and I felt like I was going crazy MEANWHILE drawing it but in the end I did it and I’m super proud of it!
Below is the reference photo, it was pain in the ass to follow all those lines with my eyes and try to find what was I drawing and where was I but I think I did good. That was a fun challenge.
Okay so, when I was done with the new lineart, I decided to go for the shading and blending because that’s what really makes the drawings to pop. I started with the left (his right, my left) side of Farin’s face because I’m right-handed, and in the first photo I had done just the left (right) eye and mouth and nose, but in the second there’s also the other eye done already:
Keep in mind this was not the last time I drew the eyes. Not even close.
Something was off with the right (left) eye so I had to do that one again and I noticed that when you blend but haven’t erased and cleaned it yet, it looks like a black eye :DDD So here’s the before and after images of that cleaning. (Cleaning = I draw, blend, erase, draw and blend more when needed and then erase again, and repeat this as many times as I need until it starts to look ready to my eye.)
So here Farin was “finished” but if you still remember the final piece or compare it to it, you might notice it looks quite different. And you’re right. But more about that later, because at this point I started to work on Bela.
It actually started really well - I also had to do the whole lineart again because it did not match the size of “finished” Farin. I don’t remember if this is the first or second eye but when I had drawn his eye for the first time, I noticed it was not in line with Farin so I had to redraw it. A gif of the progress:
What’s that brown paper I’m using, you may ask? Well I noticed that people have some sort of paper on top of their art to keep it from smudging and I have no clue what that is so here’s my poor artist recommendation: baking paper! I tested it and it works (if you just remember to keep it under your hand, that is...) so that is, in fact, baking paper! :DD
I have drawn Bela’s face a few times before and he’s just so much easier to draw. In fact I used 4-5 days on Farin but I managed to start and finish (this version of) Bela just in one day. And that means that out of 12 hours (because I literally used the whole day for drawing) I used maybe like... 5h or something on Bela. That’s how much easier he really is to draw.
I don’t know wtf is wrong with Farin’s face but he’s extremely difficult to draw and I’m not the only one who has been saying this. I guess he just looks so regular but still unique enough to be difficult to draw. Bela then again has features that are very unique and very... caricature-like? I mean that just by drawing his nose or chin you can make a comic book Bela look exactly like himself, and with more realistic style his eyes already do a lot, but Farin’s really the opposite. My comic book version of Farin is literally the most basic version I can draw, it’s how I draw those characters and the only thing that makes him look himself is the hair, and his nose in a side profile. So I think that’s why it’s so difficult to draw him because he doesn’t look too regular but still regular enough to make is a very challenging task to do properly.
So yeah, the same day as I started working on Bela, I was also “finished” with the drawing:
Also look at how different it looks like from this perspective:
With the reference photo open in photoshop and I don’t understand how Bela looks more like himself in my drawing than in the photo. Also when I showed the WIP to my brother, he said that I somehow had succeeded at making Farin look more like Farin than what he does in the photo even. It’s weird.
But we were still far from finished. I was going to use the fixative on this soon but it just kept snowing the whole week so I couldn’t so every time I walked past the drawings, I stopped to fix this and that. For days I kept telling myself “I’m done, I can’t do more than this, I can’t do better than this.” and considered the drawing finished but still kept fixing things. Every time I was “done” with the other drawing, I saw something to fix in the other one and once that was done, I felt like the first one wasn’t as good and had to fix something from it too. And that led to a cycle where the other drawing was always better than the other and the worse one needed to be fixed. In the end I was hating the whole process and myself and my skills and I was already ready to abandon this whole thing and call it a day and never ever show it to anyone “because I cannot draw”. The photo above, here’s a list of things I redrew after that:
Bela’s eyes, the right (left) one at least twice.
Bela’s nose.
Bela’s mouth a couple of times.
Farin’s eyes x588045028520
And a list of things I kept fixing and fixing:
Bela’s chin.
Bela’s neck shadows.
Bela’s hairline.
Farin’s whole face was tilted so I tried to fix that.
Farin’s face was too wide, which meant also partially redrawing the ear.
Farin’s hair was too long and wide too.
Farin’s nose.
Farin’s mouth might be the only thing I drew only once and I’m actually still extremely proud of how it came to be. I did the lips solely with blending so that was super exciting to notice how I can use it for drawing and don’t need the pencils for everything!
During Bela’s eyes and nose and mouth especially I was hating myself so much and I felt like I was taking the risk of ruining the whole thing and a few times I was certain that was what I had just done too, until I somehow was able to save it again. But because of that, I wasn’t able to make Bela’s mouth any lighter anymore, the color wasn’t just coming off the paper so had to use what was there and make it look like it’s how it’s supposed to be, too.
Here’s a gif about those changes on Bela - the first one has the old eyes and nose, the others have minor changed on the nose and mouth:
(The blacks probably don’t get any blacker in reality, I did add more color to it all the time but mainly it’s just the lighting and my phone camera changing the brightness.)
I did the final details on his nose without even using the reference photo anymore. The photo didn’t seem to make any sense anymore at all so I was just using my mechanical pencil and the blending tool and eraser to make is look better. To my eye it looked more like a very flat nose with a big tip of the nose and he doesn’t have a flat nose and I tried to get rid of that illusion. I still feel like it makes him look bit weird but I’m not entirely sure how. Maybe it was because of my improvisation, idk...
So, Bela was then finally finished for the last time. In the Farin piece his left (right) eye had been bugging me the whole time and I didn’t want to touch it but still I felt like I have to do something about it because it was bugging me way too much. I then figured I could draw the eye line by line and take a photo of it each time to see if it looks right already or not, maybe I could then avoid doing all the phases before I was sure what to think about it. I mean, now the only way to see if it was correct was to draw e.g. an eye from start to finish, I couldn’t see from just the lineart or unblended eye if it was in the right spot etc. And here’s that progress on a gif:
The gif about only the eye would look so nice if Tumblr didn’t make the gifs so HUGE - this one is actually only 300px or 400px or something:
Apparently I also wasn’t happy with the other eye because:
But good thing is: I really enjoy drawing eyes. I love seeing them to “come alive”, my favorite part was to eraser a bit of the color on the iris to make them look like they are actually shiny! It feels like something so small to do and yet it makes a huge impact on the drawing!
And here’s yet another gif of the whole Farin sheet with all of the changes, including the last changes that made his head narrower, and less tilted and more in line. Look at the left side of his head especially to see that:
I can also see his nose changing between the first few photos. I keep forgetting about that but yeah, I also fixed that a little at some point.
And last but not least, the whole drawing in some sort of a timelapse gif:
Last two are the same but just a photo and the scan of the finished drawing. I still keep seeing things I would do differently but no can do, I already used fixative on it, also to keep myself from obsessing with it any more :D And to use it as a study of some sort. I have never been able to draw a perfect pencil drawing and this isn’t one either. I probably never can draw perfect drawings from references.
I do enjoy the whole shading and blending process, so much so that when I was editing these photos, I just wanted to start drawing something so bad but I also figured that I start to lose motivation when I get to the point where everything should be finished but I just can’t make it perfect. Like the current WIP I have, all I should do is to get the proportions and perspective and the lines of their faces correctly and I would be ready but it feels more like a superpower some people possess and I’m not one of those. I don’t know what is it but I just feel that I cannot see. I don’t know how to explain it, but I can’t see what I try to do and somehow keep drawing everything the wrong way. Just like in this post’s drawing too. There’s still things that are wrong and I know what it is but I don’t know how to solve it. My hands just don’t listen to me and they can’t do what I think they should. I also think the reason I cannot draw perfect copies of photos is because you can always see my “handprint” in them. If I copy a photo, it will look like a photo and not like a drawing made by me. So I believe that in my drawing there’s always a part of me visible and I’m not entirely sure if it’s a good thing or not. On bad days it’s not a good thing, obviously. On good days? Well I guess it’s good then because it just means I have my own style which I really should appreciate. But I wish I had my style only when I want it to be visible, but I can’t control it. Just like I cannot write text by hand that would look like it was written with a computer, so I guess I should just try to get used to it, no matter how much it’d bug me sometimes.
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Let’s Talk About Pokemon - The Rolycoly Family
837: Rolycoly
OHHHH!!!! OH OH!!!!! THE COAL MONSTER!!! THAT I PUT ON MY WISHLIST! OH How I instantly fell in love with this little guy when it was first revealed. This design is so neato in its lovable simplicity. At first glance it's little more than a chunky hunk of coal with a single eye. Oh, but they eye GLOWS as if it has coal burning on the inside! That on top of its general body shape makes it look like a living miner's helmet! Hah, how clever and original for a little coal critter!
It even has a unique ability that has it interacting with Fire and Water, boosting the Pokemon's speed if its hit with moves of those type! Cool! And how I LOVE that grumpy little visage it has. It's just a single eye but it still lends so much fun personality to the thing. But Rolycoly comes with a little something extra:
It's on a WHEEL! It has an entire wheel-shaped shard of coal on its underside that allows it to roll around like a unicycle! That is PRECIOUS! And boy howdy has the excitement for what this thing could possibly turn into get me pumped. So many neat Fakemon ideas floating around. That and I absolutely KNEW I was gonna be using a Rolycoly once I started playing the game myself. I just HAVE to see what this coal dude turns into!
Personal Score: 10/10
838: Carkol
Oh, well... hrmmmm. We're not off to a fantastic start, I guess. My instant turn-off on the other side of that evolution screen was that Rolycoly instantly lost its cool cycloptic eye in favor of a much more regular looking face. Why does it just look like Golem's face??? Like I can't stress this enough. If a Pokemon has a unique feature, especially one that is a rarity like a single eye, or a droopy face, or having shaggy hair cover the majority of its face, or even a complete LACK of face, it absolutely should NOT lose these features unless it has a compelling enough reason to, like fulfilling a design theme. There are so little Pokemon that are cycloptic that it's SO ANNOYING that it instantly fails at step 1.
I also don't really like that's already SORTA lost the wheels. They're there, and they function as wheels, but they're behaving a lot more like legs most of the time. It doesn't even keep its glowing eyes. They light up during certain animations but that's it. Nor do I like that a pile of coal is precariously going over its back. It makes it stop looking like a coal monster and just that it's a monster that carries coal. The shape of its back should evoke the look of a mine cart filled with coal and not BE a mine cart full of coal, if you get what I'm saying?
Even if it was just the face that was redone, I would've taken it. But if I could do a little tidying up and redoing of Carkol, it wouldn't take a TON to do it. The basic shape is fine to me, just good lord please give it its face and wheels back.
Personal Score: 5.5/10
...But not all hope is lost just yet! There's loads of Pokemon with a good beginning, and low middle, and a good end. Awkward teenage stage am I right? Even if its face isn't just a single eye anymore, at least it's keeping the wheeled theme! In fact, you could really build off of that! Like making it a train! A TRAIN POKEMON, LIKE ON MY WISHLIST AGAIN! That'd be knocking out two birds with one piece of coal! Surely they couldn't possibly think of ditching that aspect of this line, especially since it's been present in two stages so far! Surely the least possible thing that could happen would be if this almost literal mine cart Pokemon had suddenly lost all its wheels and miraculously turned into a generic bipedal dinosaur that walks like literally any other Pokemon out of nowhere. That’d be like, the worst case scenario. But that wouldn’t happen, right?
...
...Right?
839: Coalossal
Not to come off as blunt right off the gate here but this did it. I didn't think it was gonna be possible. Gallade is no longer my least favorite Pokemon of all time. Because in the end, as much as you could say Gallade sullies the Gardevoir line's unique take on a knight just by association, you can at least IGNORE Gallade. Just evolve your male Kirlia into a Gardevoir anyway because Gardevoir is just better than Gallade in every way anywho. Gallade? Literally WHO??? But Coalossal is impossible to ignore if you were a fan of what Rolycoly was putting down. And even Gallade had a FEW merits to it. Coalossal has almost systematically taken every little bit of what has cool and unique about Rolycoly and thrown it out the window in favor of being an all-around copy-paste job.
Okay, for a moment, let's pretend Rolycoly and Carkol never existed. Coalossal was just a single-stage Pokemon on its own in a cave somewhere or whatever. What about Coalossal is individually unique to it and it alone? Sincerely close to absolutely nothing. No single individual aspect of this design is unique in any way. Want to know the major reason why? Because Coalossal already existed. We've already had Coalossal for about ten years now. But back then, we called it Rhyperior.
I'm personally not a gigantic fan of Rhyperior either, but look at this. This is absolutely comedic. They're the fucking same. They are the SAME creature. Coalossal is nothing but an off-color Rhyperior. Like come ON. At least Rhyperior has the benefit of having is rough body serve a visual motif where it's wearing construction gear, with sound-canceling headphones, complete with wrecking ball tail. A solid rock monster design, even if I personally prefer Rhydon. I can confidently look at Rhyperior and see that it’s gone through revisions, redraws, and polishes to make it unique even in its own evolutionary line.
Can I say the same for Coalossal? I honestly can't say I do. With Rhyperior fresh in mind, what's Coalossal's visual motif? It's made of coal, I guess? Its face SORT OF looks like a cowcatcher on a train. But here's a question, why doesn't it look MORE like a train if train was clearly a motif they wanted to go with? If it's a train monster, why is it bipedal in the first place?
The only bit of its design that's even a little eye-catching is the pile of coal clumsily piled onto its shoulders, but I already said why I don't like that. It makes it look like Coalossal itself isn't a coal monster, it just carries coal around. Besides, most well-done designs aught to still have at least some value to them even if you took away one aspect of said design. Rhyperior with a plain tail with no wrecking ball is still a funny construction site rhino man. Even Carkol with no coal on its back would've still been a weirdo mine cart monster. Coalossal without the pile of coal is just naked Rhyperior.
Things only get worse when you add Carkol and especially Rolycoly back into the equation. Rolycoly's unique features were that it was a coal monster with one eye, riding on a wheel and it's shaped like an object. Carkol at least continues most of this, mostly ridding of the single eye thing. Coalossal gets rid of all that's left. No more wheels, no more object shapes, no more fun, it's just a coal thing now. Literally the first thing that comes to your mind when you think “I want to make a coal monster.” A rough draft in monster design form, printed and published for the full release.
I have to wonder, how many questions of whether this looked good or not the decisions to make in a train monster but also a bipedal dinosaur-thing was a well enough thought-through idea? Is being a dinosaur with a cowcatcher on its head visually interesting? More visually interesting than its previous stages, where it had far more visual motifs going on? Was it a conscious decision to say yes or was there a time crunch where they had to settle on a “close enough” design to pad out the Pokedex?
And you know what's more than likely the thing that murdered this line? Time.
I feel bad for possibly implying it was going to be nothing but smooth sailing this Gen when I made my little Sword and Shield pre-review. Because the more I've dug into Gen 8 the more I've realized how many designs in here are heavily flawed. And I can only blame the very evident drop in quality on the clear lack of time Gamefreak has these days. Generations are getting shorter and shorter and it's starting to show. Had SwSh not happened for another couple years, I guarantee I wouldn't be making this rant right now. This kind of blunder is simply so uncharacteristic of Gamefreak's art department. Like say what you will about the games themselves but Pokemon's been running strong from Gens 5 to 7. It's hard to believe the same company that made creatures like Mimikyu, Buzzwole, Sigilyph, or Pumpkaboo churned out Coalossal here.
Here, I'll embarrass myself and share a bit of concept art of a personal project of mine. These designs aren't too terribly spectacular, are they? That's because they're just the rough drafts. The very first instance of me drawing a creature in order to have their design idea on paper, because I can flesh them out later. They’re very wonky looking, weirdly generic at best because later on, “Ash Wolf” there would later become...
“Billowolf”. And heck, it’s plenty possible that it’ll go through one more redesign or so before I’m fully satisfied with it. Coalossal feels like the former. A sketchbook doodle of a “coal dinosaur” base idea that was meant to be more fleshed out later but wasn’t given the opportunity.
And I'm noticing more and more that this is gonna be a repeat complaint going into Gen 8. Lots of ideas with decent or even excellent potential not being lived up to because the designs haven't been through enough revisions. We're well aware of an internal approval process that happens within Gamefreak for these Pokemon to get accepted, and I can only wonder if they just settled with “good enough” designs simply because they were running out of time. Like for PETE'S sake this annual release schedule needs to stop. I hope this new trend of DLC will alleviate the Pokemon Rush. Hell, I'd encourage it so long as they're fairly priced and maybe even bring in a handful of new Pokemon designs each. It's not quite a year off the constant Poketrain but DLC is a lot easier to make than an entirely new game or even a “deluxe edition”. I don't care if we go back to a release schedule of one generation per major Nintendo system. Just let these guys have the time and leeway to do their dang jobs without the stress of ridiculously tight deadlines. There's still so much talent within Gamefreak and it's maybe easy to forget that they're the ones that made the more beloved entries in the series back before they forced a game out almost every year.
And to be clear I DO NOT mean to say all this to shame whoever designed Coalossal, even if they themselves are proud of it. Nor am I shaming anyone that does like Coalossal (just given I’ve gotten comments before acting like I’m being the opinion police with this review series.) Alarmingly enough, my taste isn’t law! And that’s fine. I’m just wondering if the higher-ups on the art team have given Coalossal a pass under less time-constrained circumstances? Or would they have sent it back in to go a few more rounds in a feedback loop? The basic point of this rant is just
Obviously, I'd want this line to follow through on the train motif and have Coalossal actually be a goddang train. And of course keep the single eye.
I do hear one of the defenses of Coalossal being dinosaur-shaped being that “it's a fossil fuel coming back to life.” If that was the intention, that should've been the theme from the very start instead of the rolling wheel idea. (Even under this light, I still wouldn't call Coalossal a very good design. It's far too generic to be doing even that cool idea justice. If that WAS the idea, I’d say it’d be way cooler to do a monster that’s moreso crudely trying to imitate the look of a dinosaur.)
...Awkward thing is, Coalossal wound up sticking in my team for the whole game. Mostly because I wasn't sure if any more new Fire types would be coming afterward (there weren't) so. My Sword team has my least favorite Pokemon on it. I still love ya though, Obsidius. It's not your fault your design wasn't finished. ):
Personal Score: 1/10
I'm sorry if it feels like I'm just dunking on Pokemon after Pokemon here. I PROMISE there's some Pokemon I'm excited to talk about coming up later. In fact, oooh, Applin's next! Applin will be a good palette cleanser, yes.
G-Max Coalossal:
Oh yeah, Coalossal has a G-Max form too. It's better, I'll give it that, and it SORTA brought the wheel thing back but only in having tire-shaped thighs. Pbbbth. The scale is imposing and at least its eyes look a little bit cooler again. I can't bring myself to like it much better just by association with Coalossal. It's fine, I guess. I'm not even gonna rate it. I just don’t like it. It’s fine. Eh.
[Archive]
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Maria watches friday night lights (#10)
Ahhh this season is so good, I’m not ready for it to end! This post covers the penultimate episodes: 3x11 - 3x12
-oh boyyy Lyla’s getting drunk to deal with her daddy issues. Real! Tho it is nice seeing Billy, Lyla, Tim, and Mindy getting along I guess? Sigh.
-HAHAHA poor Tyra being forced to throw Mindy a “tea party” bridal shower.
-let’s maybe NOT call your son’s 15 year old girlfriend a “minx” or a “plague,” Joe McCoy?!?!
-oh Matt :( taking out his anger and emotions about his grandma’s deteriorating health on his mom :( this is so hard
-oooooh this redistricting plotline is such an interesting shake up!! Holy shit these fully grown men standing around a table redrawing the redistricting line to “keep the Dillon Panthers intact” is truly wild.
-I really like this scene where Lyla breaks down to Tim about letting her mom and siblings move to California without her and feeling like she has no family now that Buddy has hurt her. I feel like too many teen dramas have a teen character’s family move away and never show it affecting them which feels wholly unrealistic.
-I have to believe Texas weather around semifinals time actually lends itself to dramatic pouring rain?? Bc I mean, it WORKS but this happened in S1 too right?
“He’s got to do what the coach tells him to do!” Thank you Katie McCoy. You need to get away from your terrible, controlling husband. Like, even when they win this dude isn’t happy bc it didn’t happen the WAY he thought it should.
-omfg I just gasped when JD’s dad called Madison a “tramp.” WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU
-and of course Tami and Eric are seated in the window of Applebee’s seeing the abuse happen and run out to help. You know who Tami and Eric remind me of (except they’re better): Kirsten and Sandy Cohen of the OC. It’s that “parents of everyone, moral compass of the community” trope. Honestly like, the only good teen drama parent trope. (To a similar extent I guess Mary and Fred Andrews’ play/ed that role on Riverdale)
“I think I’m okay here, hanging with my gal” - Tim Riggins is such a romantic boy wow. His pep talk for Lyla about going to college despite her dad’s bullshit was so precious.
“He hit my baby.” Oh pooor Katie McCoy, you need to get yourself and your boy away from your husband.
-lol when’s the last time we saw Gracie? Julie’s been absent this ep, she babysitting? Hahaha
-oh yes Tyra deserves this beautiful pep talk from her mom!!
-good on this show for naming what Joe McCoy did as “child abuse” bc YEP. Tami and Eric feeling awful about calling CPS (but being mandated to do so as educators) is such a real and well done conflict.
-omg Matt’s art portfolio!! He wants to go to Chicago for art! I just love the image of Tami, Julie, and Matt flipping through his portfolio ugh yes. Soft.
“It reads like a five page needlepoint pillow.” Lmao Landry and yeah, writing the college essay sucks.
“They have the biggest Van Gogh collection.” Saracen’s a man after my own heart.
FYI I left and Jeff gave me a dab that hit hard (I dramatically said it “killed me”) so the rest of 3x12 and the post was composed whilst I’m even more stoned than usual.
-wow Landry missing the bus the ONE time he drinks damn
-hey I’ve never seen this coach leading the chants on the bus before. Is this like his whole job
-awww Lorraine asking Julie if Matt likes art and she’s like, yeah he loves it! And he’s amazing at it. So cute. Oh wow both of them agreeing they don’t want to “hold him back from anything.”
-My heart! This show does such a good job of showing so many heartwarming dynamics of all kinds.
-ooookay Katie I get why you don’t want to be friends with Tami anymore....but like y’all need parenting classes, your husband is straight up abusive to your child. Also I’m scared for you, please leave that man
-OMFG Tyra lost her virginity at THIRTEEN? That’s so heartbreaking. Also everything she’s screaming about in the car needs to start going into this college essay. Omg is she gonna write about Jason Street getting paralyzed? Real. How many people in this town do you think used that in their college essay?
-Tim and Matt scene THANK YOU I am blessed
-omfg Tyra reading her essay out loud to Landry overlaying Tami and Eric on the field; Julie with baby grace; Saracen and Tim throwing the frisbee; the raucous Colette-riggins family in the car. Beautiful!!! Perfection.
-lol I saw the year 2008 on the game board and realized if this was fall 2008...I was a freshman in high school. JD is my peer.
-omg Joe McCoy has THE douchebag glasses. Classic child abuser am I right
-JD throwing a fit on the field is good fucking characterization bc you mimic what your parents do, especially when you’re a 15 year old kid
-OH SHIT SARACEN’S GOING IN AS QUARTERBACK FOR HIS LAST HALF EVER AS A HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL PLAYER??? The drama! The writing!
-YALL I am out here white knuckling it through this state game and I barely understand football and yet...I’m like wow really all you need to do to get me interested in a sport is make me care about the characters playing. Saracen and riggins are working so well together I cry
-damn what a way to go down. They actually turned the game around and a field goal is what made them lose :(
“I wanted everyone’s friends and families to be here tonight when I say this: I have never been more proud of a team than I am right now” oh Eric Taylor what a man
“There’s not a single person in this room who’s ever gonna be the same”’ wow I felt that
-Riggins always seems more contemplative in a Sherpa
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May 23rd-May 29th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive
The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from May 23rd, 2020 to May 29th, 2020. The chat focused on the following question:
If someone came to you for advice about starting their first comic, what would you tell them?
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
The biggest hurdle I see beginner comic creators (including myself) struggling with is the fear to begin because they "aren't good enough yet." I would tell them to just start. The best way to learn how to make comics is to make comics. You can always go back and fix old pages. Or you don't even have to. The improvement throughout your work can be encouraging. So I say, just begin.(edited)
carcarchu
know your ending before you begin! so many webcomics start and then have no idea how to continue. at least have some kind of idea of the direction you want to go to and at least a basic outline before you begin. you can always change things but going in without a roadmap is a recipe for disaster
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
I would tell them to consider a few things: your desired scope, your current skill levels, and how likely you are to still love the project months or years later. I didn’t start with a small scope, so I can’t tell people to keep it simple no matter what, but it absolutely helps. Doing a short 6-10 page comic as your first thing will totally tell you if this is something you like, or totally hate. Assessing your own skill level is hard, but I try and encourage people to practice anatomy and perspective and other skills before diving right into creating a massive world. I’d encourage them to practice some writing as well. But even the act of creating a comic can help with all that. So, YMMV! And you gotta love what you’re drawing! I didn’t feel comfortable creating a story until my late 20s because I felt I hadn’t settled on something I’d be indefinitely passionate about. My likes and dislikes were still changing so much. If you can look at your idea and pretty confidently say you want to draw this stuff over and over again for years... that’s a very good sign
eliushi [a winged tale]
I find my advice will vary depending on what their vision is for their comic! For instance, if it’s a short form, I would recommend looking at different styles and experimental storytelling to find ways to best explore their work. For a long form I would advise as y’all have done so as well: start and keep going to improve. Have an ending in mind. Know the basics of character/plot and storytelling; essentially if you know the rules then you are more easily able to break them in an informed way. Most importantly is to have fun drawing, have fun with friends, have fun sharing your work
I guess sort of as a follow up... did you all receive any advice before starting your comic?
carcarchu
i didn't ask anyone in particular but the advice i read before starting mirrored what has been said so far
the advice about just starting and not being afraid is probably what helped the most
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
I was told to make my first comic shorter... but with the caveat that if I absolutely could not, it was okay to try a long-form one from the get-go
carcarchu
another thing that i often tell people looking to start is that comic making is actually a gigantic time sink and requires a LOT of discipline. a lot of people i talk to really don't realize how much of a time investment it is. i don't want to dissuade anyone by telling them this but it's important to realize
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I agree with lazuli! Right now I'm actually feeling more motivation for my long comic than my short story.( I will absolutely finish both though)(edited)
carcarchu
x2 agree with claire, i've realized i'm not good at short stories
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I've been asked this question before, about first comics. I always say the most important thing is to draw what you like, for yourself.
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
Short stories are hard! I’m often jealous of all the marvelous one-shot comics on twitter, telling an affecting story in such little time. I often wonder if my own stuff will ever be half as successful in the emotions department. Short stuff is easier to digest but requires a ton of skill to craft well.(edited)
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Absolutely. Two of my favorite comics are 3 pages and 5 pages long and years later I am still thinking about them.
I think it takes even more skill to craft a compelling story, world, and characters in only a few pages
It is witchcraft, I swear
carcarchu
there was a beautiful short story i read about a cat before, i'll see if i can find it and share it in recs
eliushi [a winged tale]
I think a lot about the unfinished comics! even though they aren’t finished, they still stay with me. Ultimately if you draw comics, it will touch people and people will remember
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I've always wanted to do a short story like that but am not a good enough writer yet unfortunately
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
Also agree with @Eightfish (Puppeteer) - you must make something for yourself. You can try and tailor it to certain audiences, but don’t stray too much from your own sensibilities. Make a comic that speaks to your soul, and people will feel it.
chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]
Pick something you love, you‘ll spent a lot of time on it.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
If you don't love it, who will?
chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]
And short stories are their own medium with their own rules, needs and patterns; they‘re not interchangable with longform and the otherway round.
That‘s what annoys me about the „start with 8-page shorts!“ advice. It‘ll teach you how to do shorts, not how to do long form. And I‘ve seen so many treating shorts as a stepping stone to „proper“ long-form comics, and that format deserves better.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I do see the merit in that though. There are a lot of unfinished long comics. If you have a good short story, might as well make it first. For me though, they are way harder than long stories.
I did give myself the option to end puppeteer after about 80 pages though
Luckily I fell in love with making it and won't be doing that now
But it was an option
Capitania do Azar
Yeah I'm gonna have to repeat the points already stated. Everytime I get the chance to give advice to a starter, I do focus on the discipline aspect. Webcomics (any comic actually) does take a lot of work and if you wanna make it in the long run you gotta know your pace and you gotta know where you wanna go so you can make the best use of your time
You don't need to have super solid plans but it's good if you know how much time it takes you to make one, five or twenty pages, so you can get organised
And at least in my experience being organised is one of the most important aspects
That, and liking what you do but also allowing it to change because things take time and you will change too
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
^^^I can't reiterate this last point enough
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
For sure cap! I spent a lot of time experimenting with art style before starting and I think choosing a simpler but still nice looking (to me) style has been vital for me being as consistent with my comic as I have
Having a schedule was really important to me starting out
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
I think I would have said..... MAKE SURE YOU DRAW IN ADVANCE BEFORE POSTING.
I've made this mistake, and I know many people have made this mistake, but it's really easy to get stressed and demotivated when you realize that you might not be drawing as fast as you want...particularly if you're starting out.
So make sure you have buffers so that you can post those updates as consistently as you can.
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
I'd say for my past self that make sure you have.... at least almost everything ironed out for your story first if you want to make a long form comic as your first try because trust me if you don't, you'll end up redrawing the first chapter twice lmao. knowing how it begins and ends, knowing your drawing speed and also recognizing if you're just either motivated to work on it or you're doing it despite motivation. Because those are like the main factors that affect burn out and if you don't watch out, you'll get fucked over from it. have a good sense of your self in terms of your work ethic, and your writing. Art will be supplement for that writing but you're pretty good at least understanding the basics you should be aight Also if you don't feel doing your long story first, you can always make a short story to test waters. but if ya like me and rather just jump making a long ass comic first, go for it lmao
sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead)
I think the biggest advice I'd give would be is to accept what you've already done, kinda related to the "you're good enough to start" advice. A lot of webcomics stall out in the "gotta redraw this to be Good Enough" phase, and it's easy to get caught up in the cycle of redrawing early pages (especially once you get a few years into a comic), but learning to sit back and appreciate early pages for the stage you were when you drew them is important!
also something I don't hear creators talk a lot about, is having a support group. Getting positive responses from strangers from the internet is a rush, but it's not always going to happen, and relying on it isn't a great idea mental health wise. Having a group of friends you can bounce ideas off of and that can support you in your story helps make the lonely art of making comics a little less lonely. I wish I had known about this group sooner because it seems like a really great resource of creators coming together and being supportive!
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
oh yeah that last point especially
like honestly if I didn't met other webcomic creators I probably wouldn't be working in webcomics tbh
sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead)
It's so nice to have outside perspective both for art advice/critique stuff, but also just the general "hey guys drawing pages amiright"
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
yeah lmao
sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead)
plus if/when you ever meet up with people at conventions, it's always so nice!
mariah (rainy day dreams)
Yeah, I would second that. Starting out I had a really hard time knowing how to take praise from my real world friends who are into my comic. It felt like maybe it wasn't real praise and they only like it because they liked me. But honestly the longer I make comics the more I just want my friends to like them and the less I care about what an internet stranger might think X'D Also, I watched the video on new creator tips that Joichi post in #writing_n_misc_resources last night before bed and those tips are super solid. I think folks have already hit on all of them but writing something you really like and is for you first and foremost and being being prepared for a lot of work are super important. Also, get that buffer!
kayotics
I think this was touched on already but having an idea you’re really passionate about, especially for a long form comic, is kind of essential to keep you going. You gotta keep up momentum for years, not just a few weeks. The thing that helped me, personally, was building my comic in a way that let me end it after the first story, but also let me continue if I liked it. My first chapter was definitely like a pilot for a tv show. If I didn’t want to continue, I’d just stop. But I ended up writing the second chapter before I knew it so I guess it worked out
Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]
I don't have too much new things to add but I agree that webcomics, is a lonesome job on your own. But once I started hanging around this discord, sharing frustrations, comic compliments. The support made a big difference, no longer having to shout in the abyss of Twitter to be heard. I know when you first start out, it's overwhelming. There's so many platforms, do I do color or grayscale? (as it felt that way for me.) The best is to begin small baby steps, write scripts. Draw thumbnails, talk about it with people you trust. Generate ideas and put them on paper. Something I learn, is finding a good group community who raise you up, than put your works down(edited)
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Seconding/thirding/etcing about support. Other than that, I really don't have a single advice that I could give to someone starting out. Because it would need to be tailored to their situation. Someone who's in my exact same situation back when I started my first webcomic? They don't need ANY advice honestly. They just need to do it (which they will anyway) and learn from the experience.
sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead)
https://tenor.com/view/doit-gif-5247874
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
(Again, I'm talking about a hypothetical person who's exactly like Younger Me. Not every beginner will "do it anyway.")
Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]
I corrected my definition, as I found out what the topic was about! I thought from everyone's comment, they felt like talking about internal feelings about community spirit.(edited)
Deo101 [Millennium]
I think that "just do it!!" Attitude is probably what I'll echo, it's what I'd have needed to hear and what I think there's probably the biggest hangup on. I think everyone tries to wait til they're ready, and it's like "you are gonna learn so much so fast and never stop learning once you start making your comic" so just, start learning now! Make changes later. You can't fix something that doesn't exist yet!
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
One thing I often think about is when artists completely relaunch their comics once they become a bit more intermediate in skill level. They've improved so much during the creation process that they feel a need to go back and totally start over. I've even run into some comics where they... almost seem in a constant state of relaunch I often wonder about how to encourage new artists to move forward instead of reiterating existing stuff. Or is the reiteration not necessarily a bad thing?
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I mean I guess it's not a bad thing if they're still having fun? Sometimes they're still having a blast; other times it's a form of torturous perfectionism.
Sometimes it's a bit of both, even
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah, I always frame it as "unless you are rewriting, don't redraw."
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I have seen a redrawn comic go well only once
Deo101 [Millennium]
Cause if it's just to fix your art but nothing is really fundamentally changing, then you'll get stuck in a loop I think
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
and that comic kept updating latest pages while redrawing the first ones
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah I've seen people do that. Where it's not a rebooot that basically stays the same, just a revamp of old stuff.
I could see myself doing that eventually tbh.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
The guy had very messy art in the beginning. Not bad art, he just didn't put much effort into it. The comic just evolved into something way bigger and more professional than he'd expected so he went and made the first pages professional looking as well
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yup Cause conics make your art improve so fast, every 50 pages you'll feel like your first one has sooo much wrong with it! So you can't get stuck just remaking pages
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Deo I don't think your first pages are any impediment to new readers. I have noticed a ton of art evolution though :0
Deo101 [Millennium]
Unless, yeah, you are rewriting and need the content on the pages to be different.
Yeah they might not be impeding but they're uglyyyyy
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I didn't notice your art changing much while reading your comic but then i went back to the first page and, woah.
big difference
Deo101 [Millennium]
It would be smth like way off in the future though if I did do it. It's not currently in my plans
I'd rather make new pages and new comics
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
has anyone ever commented on your art evolution?
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah my art has changed uhhh a lot LOL I think maybe a couple times? I don't have a good memory
mariah (rainy day dreams)
I think it's probably different for everyone. Personally, I don't think really believe in going back and redoing stuff, but I also say that as someone who just spent the last year redrawing most of my first five chapters. For me, Ive always wanted to print my comic, and I felt a lot of self-created pressure to have my first book look really good. Because it's going to be new readers first introduction to the series and if I don't feel 100% proud of it, sell it to other people was going to be impossible. I kind of just felt embarrassed by my old art and writing(some of it was like 8 years old and hadn't aged well). And also if I was going to use up resources to print something, then it should be the best version of that thing. But on the other hand, redoing the old stuff has also made me really sad that I haven't been able to move forward with new chapters. I definitely second Deo. And I also think you have to know where to draw the line. Like "ok, I'm going to redraw this once and then not again" or "I'm going to redraw up to X point and call it good. I think can be a really easy perfectionist trap and time sink if you aren't careful.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
it is also hard to get your existing audience to follow the same story twice
OH, webtoons features are rebooted comics oftentimes
I guess that counts as going well!
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Yeah, since getting featured by Webtoons is kinda like going print; it's a form of getting Published
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah. For this other comic I've not launched yet, I've redrawn the intro 4 times. The intro onky takes like, 20 hours absolute max (latest) but I still find myself looking at it and thinking.. I could have been making new stuff :/ BUT! I did rewrite it every time so it did need to change. I should have just waited to start it til I could commit more so there wasn't a year between each intro
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
But since webtoons features update so fast I don't really mind following the same story again. Lone is already almost to where the canvas version was
Deo101 [Millennium]
And yeah wt features need to reboot for a lotta reasons, there's also probably a lot of times like. At least lengthening updates to fit the requirements
They're not necessarily redrawing it, too. They just have to post from the beginning which totally makes sense
Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]
I'm giving myself a mantra, don't redraw, don't look back. Just move on with what you got. There's chapters I want to cover. It's just years ago, I had constant panic that the story's theme was going to change as it went, so I 'must' change the first chapter to suit the general overview of the story. But it resulted in me burning out and being self destructive to my work. I'm going to take better care of myself(edited)
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
i think most redraw significantly though
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah I mean, wouldn't u?
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I'd have to! My whole story is only like. 20 webtoons updates?
Deo101 [Millennium]
Truuu
If that, 40 panels.. a page is like usually around 5
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
agreed on redraw hell. tried it and I didn't like it at all lmaO
I'm kinda glad I have a good footing on my current comic and I don't want to redraw it at all unless it's adapted for something else. still like
work what you have, if you can orz
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
"Don't look back" is hard when you feel like the first X pages are dragging all the future pages down with them. I agree that you need to draw a line (no pun intended), set some criteria
The thing Eightfish mentioned -- not so bad that it'd deter new readers -- is a very useful criterion IMO
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
if you must, i wonder if redrawing the first scene would be okay?
Just as a taste of what's to come for new readers
Deo101 [Millennium]
Do you think they would notice the difference in quality and question that?
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
rip maybe
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I've read a long webcomic where only the first chapter was redrawn, and when I got to the second chapter and saw an immediate drop in quality, I knew what exactly happened XD
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah, but you're a creator! Readers don't have the same background to necessarily be able to assume that
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Just put in a note saying that it's art evolution
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
As someone who redrew their first scene for a lot a reasons, I will say that I personally think it's worth it.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Also same, I've seen it and knew exactly what happened
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Yeah, it was mentioned in the notes, but I didn't read the notes at first because I knew the archive was huge, and I wanted to Get Through It
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
if i were to do that, i'd put a note in the page itself
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
That sounds like a good idea
Deo101 [Millennium]
What were your reasons for redrawing crona?
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I'm not Crona but I redid a big chunk of my chapter 1 for writing reasons. (This was in addition to a whole reboot done prior.) The writing was... not 'this screams terrible writing' kind of bad. But it was extremely misleading/ unclear on what the overall story was going to be
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
dang tbh I did kinda redraw some panels to make the dialogue flow better. But I also tried my best to match up the quality of the pages drawn the time so it doesn't look jarring.
kinda what keii said but just minimizing the effects of shockkkk
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I think this is one of the reasons why i don't want to do a comic that goes on for more than a couple years (well, for now that is. Maybe that'll change as i improve)
Deo101 [Millennium]
I redrew one intro 4 times, cause I kept rewriting the whole story.
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
after that I was like "don't touch Ch. 1 again" lmao(edited)
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
1. Several panels didn't properly show what was happening in the scene. 2. Rewrote some of the dialogue 3. My art had improved so much that even if I hadn't redrawn it, the next scene would look very different. 4. I wasn't super far along, so I thought it would be good to give this another go, knowing much more about paneling, page-layout, and pacing.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
do you think there's a chance you'd eventually redraw wotp as it is now?
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
Hell no(edited)
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
lol then i think it's fine that you redrew!
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
Even if I go back and clean some things up later for print, I'm not completely redrawing anything about WotP anymore
I finally got it to a point where I'm happyish with the way it looks
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
I've never totally started over, but I did a ton of drawing edits (and a few writing edits!) on my first chapter before releasing it to the public. The previous version of the chapter does look far less polished. But even then, I really only completely redrew 1 or 2 panels. The rest was just liquifying wonky faces and whatnot. Still, once it got printed, I basically locked the artwork. With how long new pages take, I really don't have time to look back much anymore which is its own kind of blessing!
In that way, I'm very glad I kept it private for a while. I wasn't confident with my skills yet - and I wanted some wiggle room. It's part of the reason I encourage people to at least have some sort of foundation, so that the jump in improvement isn't so... startling
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
I actually kind of love to be startled by art evolution
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah I could see myself editing wonky faces and things like that more than I can see myself redrawing! My pages only take me like 2 hours and I still wouldn't redraw, can't imagine what your timeframe would look like...
But not in your own work, crona?
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
It happened with a lovely comic called Wind Rose, and it is so inspiring
I wouldn't say I don't like it in my work
More that I was completely changing art styles too
Deo101 [Millennium]
I see
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I think starting a comic is a good way to get those foundational skills though, lazuli
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
Even if you didn't post it online, you did start
Which I think is enough
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
one of the biggest examples of art style shift I've seen
Comic is still doing really well though!
I don't think anyone minded the art evolution at all
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
@Eightfish (Puppeteer) Yeah, that's my dilemma! I've seen a couple very new comic artists burn out quickly, or say that they're relaunching because of their own unhappiness. And part of me wants to tell them to slow down - they don't need to post anything, just use it as a training ground.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Of course, if you yourself hate your old art you're probably more important(edited)
hm
It's still nice to have your story read though
even if just by a few friends
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
I haven't read through it, but I know this is another good example...
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
another one!
This was intentional though, to convey a change in setting
It's kind of fun to look at these comparisons(edited)
I think most readers would feel the same
carcarchu
my most inspiring art evolution is from zero point idol chapter 1
chapter 90
the artist also got better at panelling too. also not only did the art change but the genre completely did too. it started out as a comedy romance then slowly became a drama romance
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Looks like you switched the images around?
carcarchu
oh it's in the right order on my side
the more bishounen looking one should be the newer one
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Oh! I think the more colorful one looks much better actually?
But perhaps the author chose a different style to draw more quickly?
carcarchu
uh i think the opposite
the newer art looks objectively better
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
okay i'm gonna look it up maybe I will think differently if i see a bunch of panels in context
looking it up it is definitely clear that the author is putting much more effort into later updates.
Though skimming it I still sort of prefer the style of the earlier pages?
carcarchu
i have never heard someone say that before
people usually complain they got gipped in the first chapter lol
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Can't say anything about the paneling or anything like that because I just skimmed it
Well, I like the style of the things in the first pages that they tried harder on
There are a lot of like, chibi or messy panels there
Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]
I'm looking up the titles for these screencaps you guys presented!
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
The first one I shared is A Matter of Life and Death!
The second is YU+ME Dream (highly recommend)(edited)
mariah (rainy day dreams)
Seconded, YUME is very good and it's complete!
kayotics
I think there’s a lot of good reasons to restart or redraw past pages, but there’s a lot of people who DO get trapped in the constant iterative state of restarting/redrawing their comic, and then they don’t get anywhere with it
snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)
It's hard to come up with any consistent advice because people have different goals starting their comic. Like, some people just wanna do a comic to get better at art, or because they have a bunch of OCs that they want to do something with. And to those people... like, just have fun with it. Now, if you have a full story in mind, and your goal is to complete it in a timely manner that isn't overwhelming (without sacrificing on quality), this is the advice I give: 1) Plan out your story. You don't need to do a full script or whatever, but do try to have at least an outline, with an estimate of how many pages each part will be. 2) Spend a typical month (like, a month that you also have other work to do) drawing the first few pages of your comic. Don't post them yet. Count the number of pages you drew. The number you post per month should be less than that. e.g. if you drew 6 pages in that month, you should post 1 page each week. That way, you can have a bit of leeway to build a buffer without burning out. 3) Look back at that outline. How many pages did you plan it out to be? And how often are you planning on posting each page? Let's see... carry the two... this comic's gonna take HOW many years to complete?! 4) If you're comfortable with the task ahead of you, continue on to step 5. Otherwise, cut some stuff from your outline and repeat step 3. 5) Have fun with it! You might change your mind on future plot points, and that's ok! Just... try to do so in a way that doesn't create more work for yourself.
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
My advice is to just get started. I see so many people caught up in the idea that you need to perfect your art skills before starting a comic and then they just never start working on it
Your art is never going to be "perfect" and its better to have a tangible comic than a perfect one
I don't mean that in a discouraging way I just mean like no one can really achieve perfection and it's better to just create things
Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]
I like snuffysam's advice because I have noticed there are different kinds of approach to webcomics. Some do it for fun and practice like I do nowadays. While others have a big long form series they are deeply passionate about but to start it seem overwhelming. Everyone's advice is pretty great! (edited)
DanitheCarutor
Fff I don't feel like I'm really qualified to give advice to people. I don't take art and comics seriously enough to follow most rules, so I would just be a bad influence if anything. Lol (Also everyone else has already said what I would.) I guess the one thing I would tell someone on the fence about starting their comic is to do it when you're ready. Like, I wanted to start doing comics when I was 15 but I wasn't quite mentally ready yet? I was used to doing illustrations so I couldn't stick with doing anything longer than 1 page, throughout the years I experimented with doing 1-2 pages of random scenes in stories I wanted to do, it wasn't until I hit my 20s when I was like "Okay, I want to do this!" In a way I didn't totally get into comic mode until my current project, since I was still feeling things out with the previous ones. Kinda went on a tangent there. Lol But yeah, comics are a huge commitment, I don't think it's super good to push yourself into starting if you're not mentally ready yet. Give yourself some time, do some casual stuff to prepare for the comic you really want to do in the meantime (brainstorming, concept art, character studies, etc.), or don't think about it at all if that's how you do things, then when you really get that itch go for it.
FeatherNotes(Krispy)
My advice won't be anything that hasn't been touched on in this chat (so many good vibes ;_;) but I do wanna say that if I had any advice for someone to get into comics, it's to do it for yourself as the main priority. Webcomic popularity has been on the rise very quickly in this past decade, with copious amounts of creators trying their hand at their One Story, competition, exposure, and pressure are sure to set in with this wild ride that is comic making. So what do you do to combat that? How do you stay above water, make sure you have fun, or avoid turning this into what seems like never ending homework? You make your goal you. Whether You want to improve, whether You want to explore characters, or whether You just want to experiment- such a large project (let's be real, there's no easy way to do comics!) should be handled with that initial fire you had when you wanted to start the project, when you felt inspired to lay those panels down and tell that story. Don't compare your journey to others, don't feel that pressure to always Be Something.(edited)
Comics are a medium, just like film, canvas, or Video games for that matter, they have their own process and steps. Find what works for you and enjoy the ride, because it could easily turn into a long one!
eliushi [a winged tale]
I love it Krispy! You gotta do what you love
I’m just curious. What are your personal goals that keeps you going for the comic if you don’t mind sharing?
(And for anyone to answer too!)
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I get what you mean and 100% agree with you. But I wanna bring up a caviat -- some people use the whole "do it for yourself" thing to shut down creators who are doing it for themselves, but also want some recognition. It's not their main priority, but it is a thing they want and it's okay to want it. I guess that goes back to the other advice about getting support. Find support, find people who won't make you feel guilty for simply wanting some recognition. People who will understand and support your goals.
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
told myself that I won't let my self to lay my soul to rest till I'm done with the projects I have
so lmao that's somethin that drives me contracted to keep living till everything I do is finished lmao(edited)
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
One of my friends got told she wasn't a Real Writer simply because she wanted a readership. That kinda disrespect is not okay
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
oh dang
FeatherNotes(Krispy)
oh that is a whole different level from what i'm saying for sure
first off those people can go away lol
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Yeeeah
Again, not what you were saying, just... how SOME people twist the advice
FeatherNotes(Krispy)
and secondly, if you're not doing your work for yourself, you can easily fall into pleasing others and drown in Trying to Stay relevant, burning your creative drive too (i mean, if you can make ur comic and do that , good on you woah) but i've seen multiple comic artists crash and burn for the sole purpose of doing the comic in competition with others, convincing themselves that 'other styles' are crap bc their own work doesnt match up (gosh that was a rough one) and all in all, them just becoming so bitter with their work! THOUGH! this essentially applies to all creative fields and not just comics! And those entitled ppl who do that suffer from jealousy and nothing else. I cannot stand for those types who tear others down when faced with their own insecurity
and creators have every right to ask for help too. y'all deserve that recognition for the hard work you do, sometimes however, that isn't always available to them
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
yea
FeatherNotes(Krispy)
(which is why we gotta lift eachother up!)
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
You bring up a good topic that's very relevant to my struggles. It can be very difficult to know: is it okay to disregard this criticism. Am I allowed to do that? Am I allowed to like this thing about my work that people are pointing out as the bad part? Or does that make me a.... bad creator. Unprofessional, bratty, whatever. I'm not even talking about picking a fight/ getting verbally defensive. Just, silently disagreeing. I WANT to say the answer is yes, we are free to have our own opinion about our work. But dang if it isn't hard to feel guilty for doing it.
eliushi [a winged tale]
I think any trailblazers and pioneers feel this sort of sentiment.
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
That sounds about right
I don't really think of myself as a pioneer, but it is still something I feel in my bones
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
I guess that’s the beauty of a self-run webcomic. You are the boss. Your viewership can give you critique, but you can choose what to listen to. You’re not beholden to a higher power (producer, director, patron, etc) to change things no matter what. It’s your project to run, and oftentimes only YOU know where it’s going, and you know how that criticism would change things.
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
ya lmao. idk like I don't see a lot of stories that run in conflict of towards what I'm doing so it's kinda nervewracking when you're like "oh god am I setting a good example or what? Should I be worried when I just want to create and share a story?"
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
If you can be proud of the story as-is, I think there’s power in that, and it comes through in the work. A confident comic is a lovely thing.
FeatherNotes(Krispy)
That makes me really sad that you have these struggles Kei. Your work is a project of love. Love for the things that inspire you, love for the way to tell your story, and love for that process. You are allowed to proud and tell the world about it, you are allowed to embrace the success that you gain from your work. We as comic makers do SO MUCH WORK and wear SO MANY HATS to make this mainly free to read story available, and that should be celebrated. SO YES, you CAN and you MUST choose what you want to take from others comments, their feedback, reactions, etc- but in the end, it's still about what YOU wanted to make of this work, bc in the end, you are the wheel that keeps this whole thing spinning
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I dunno about confident, but I can say my comic is an honest one. Even if I don't feel confident, I still don't let outside criticisms change what I do.
FeatherNotes(Krispy)
webcomic creators aren't given the space they need to grow a lot of times too-- we're essentially producing work that easily requires a small studio to create- there's gonna be ups and downs to the process. But you have to keep in mind for your own sanity that this is still your work and your vision. If you want to explore options of improving then you should be in control of that. (we all know how i feel about crits from randos too XD!)
eliushi [a winged tale]
Agree so much Krispy. I think everyone’s goals and visions for their project are valid and if they sustain your project, then that’s a success in itself
FeatherNotes(Krispy)
agreed!
eliushi [a winged tale]
Often I see this tip and pass on to other writers that when they write their story it’s important to think of a logline or something central that is the heart of the story. I put that as my first page so every time I open my document I see it. I think it’s the same for webcomics. Find the heart of your story — why you want to write it and remind yourself of that. I find it’s helpful to keep me going
FeatherNotes(Krispy)
omg eli....i love that!!!
sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead)
wow that is really great advice eliushi!! I'd love to steal that if you don't mind?
eliushi [a winged tale]
Please do!! It’s a gift!!
take ittt
Miranda
these are all such great suggestions. You people are a fountain of wisdom.
Deo101 [Millennium]
I wrote in the header of my documents, "everything bad that happens in the story is because of me, and everything good happens because of them." Basically to remind myself not to do any sort of ex machina or whatever. And also put my tagline. It definitely helps!
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I think it's a good guideline -- the "pure luck can only be the bad kind" thing. But my bro brought up the Walking Dead (I think? either that or some other really well known zombie thing?) as an example of going too far in that direction. He said the characters take a turn, open a door, etc. and the zombies just come pouring out like an unholy explosive diarrhea all of sudden, to a point where he was like "lol?" He said it was like the universe was setting it up against the characters, and he couldn't take it seriously. He's played/watched lots of zombie stuff so he's no stranger to jump scares or zombies appearing in hordes, but that one was still too much for him.
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
wh lmao about that spoiler part like
Deo101 [Millennium]
Oh yeah no, too much of anything is bad.
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Yeah like, I can see that kind of extreme bad luck being used in farce comedy
Deo101 [Millennium]
Ahaha yeah
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I wonder what a story would be like in the opposite direction where everything bad that happens to them is because of them and everything good that happens to them is because of the writer
Deo101 [Millennium]
Everything Goes Bad Man A horrible superhero trying to do his best
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
A comedy! Could also make it a Shakespearean tragedy
Deo101 [Millennium]
Horror could make it work too
I was meaning my thing more like uhh, make them earn their good things and success kinda thing
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Depressing drama about a person who tries to succeed in life but fails at every turn
Nah I got it deo
Just throwing out hypotheticals
Deo101 [Millennium]
I would hate to watch or read any of these horrible things btw
But it's fun to hypothesize
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I think for like, most stories, your direction is much more engaging
I don't want to watch someone fail over and over
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
There's also that trope where everything goes bad despite their effort, and then Luck just drops success on the character's lap, leaving them feeling empty
Deo101 [Millennium]
Me either LOL coming out of stories like that is always like 0_0 well nkw I'm just depressed
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
But I think something like watamote, a comedy about a socially inept girl, might be an example of what I said that a lot of people like. I haven't watched it though so I'm not sure
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Yeah, I don't know that specific one, but there are cases where people feel comforted by reading about tough luck in that "I'm not the only one" way. Certainly not everyone's cup of tea, though.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Oh
Grave of the Fireflies
That movie seemed more like a message about war though. It seemed like it was trying to say something
I think I could enjoy a depressing story like that if it was nonfiction or historical fiction
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
It was sorta semi-autobiographical (not 100% but inspired by his own experience)
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Something that feels real
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
yeah, grave of the fireflies WAS based off of the author's experiences
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I personally am okay with depressing fiction if it feels real
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Same
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Doesn't have to be based on true events
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
his sister and him were taken in by the aunt and they were actually left that way the sister died of starvation (edited)
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Hey, spoiler tag that!
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
whoops mbad
Deo101 [Millennium]
I'm one of those who is 100% not... I can be okay with and love depressing stories after having seen it and then getting time away from it, but watching or reading them is a horrible experience for me
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
My Sweet Orange Tree is thought to be at least sort of based on the author's own experience, and I think that adds something to the book. (Can't confirm because the author's dead.) But even if it were pure fiction, it would remain a lovely, compelling book.
@Deo101 [Millennium] Nothing is for everyone!
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
I remember feeling really depressed for the rest of the day after watching grave of the fireflies
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Not everything bad that happens to them was their own fault, but Grave of the Fireflies was sort of a story about pride though. A boy who refused to suck it up and apologize to his aunt, resulting in his and his sister's deaths. I think that did make the story more powerful
hubris and all that
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
so I can definitely relate to only watching short bursts of depressing stuff
Deo101 [Millennium]
I honestly try to avoid them entirely, not even short bursts tbh
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
correct! however, a lot of viewers also blamed the aunt for not keeping them. Apparently the real life aunt felt a lot of remorse for being indirectly responsible for their deaths, and her daughter was angry at her. However, the aunt was also feeling depression from her husband who recently died
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I read them rarely, but I feel like they make me more? Grounded? I liked the way Man's Search for Meaning (Holocaust survivor's book) changed the way I thought of the world
Deo101 [Millennium]
I'm just hyperempathetic and they really hurt me
Not like I'm like "I wanna be ignorant" or anything
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I think that one scene with the farmer telling him to suck up his pride was highlighting that he could have been taken back in but refused to even try
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
@Deo101 [Millennium] 100% Valid!
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Yeah. Entertainment is supposed to be fun or meaningful and if it's not then don't read it
Although, I do really believe we should learn about these topics in school at least
You have to be exposed to them somewhat
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah I just don't like the kind of idea that gritty depressing stuff is more realistic, I understand learning about history and hardships but it's not something I like to think of as like "the truth jusy is that the world is terrible" it makes me feel very alone because I work very hard to see the world nit like that.
Miranda
Re: the extreme bad luck/I cause all the bad stuff for my characters I saw a tip that said coincidences can happen to get your characters into trouble, but not to get them out of trouble, and I thought that was an excellent way of putting that. (sorry to plop that in the midst of the most recent discussion)
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
TBH as someone who has lived in Eccentric Relatives' House under not so great circumstances, I didn't even get any hint of "the boy should've sucked up" from Grave of Fireflies. My experience may have been worse than the boy's in his aunt's house though, and maybe my bias led me to see his experience as being just as unfair as mine. In any case it's been years since I watched it, so maybe I'm forgetting some key details.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I think "realistic" means a mix of good and bad
My favorite nonfiction books contain a lot of cruelty, but also very good people
Reading about people's good work and outlooks despite tragedies really got to me
Or like, perseverance
Perseverance as a theme really, really hits me
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah I like perseverance but I hate stories that are hopeless or treat hope as naiive
It makes me angry tbh
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
oof same yeah
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
the aunt was still feeding them though, and allowing them to stay. If he had left his sister at home and tried to get a job like his cousins did, I think it is implied that they would have survived.
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
I do like my dark themes but lmao i dont want to go to wreckless cruelty. there's an art with that(edited)
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Endless pessimism is as unrealistic as endless optimism(edited)
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I feel like there's hopeless stories and there's stories that treat hope as naive. The former is like, yeah sure, not everyone's cup of tea, but the latter is like "if this isn't your cup of tea, then you're dumb" which is
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah I don't mind dark themes it's just that sort of grittiness, humanity is inherently evil, hope gets you nothing kind of stories that I hate
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Btw. My favorite nonfiction books: Man's Search for Meaning The Gift of Fear The Gift of Pain (no relation to the gift of fear) All showcase a lot of cruelty and suffering but all are still very hopeful
I know it's unlikely you guys will read them but
They're good and I still reccoemend them highly
They are books that changed the way i think
They are also all written by people who have gone through and seen terrible things and yet made it their life's work to help others
I just can't reccomend them enough
But I will stop talking about it now
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
for me, uhhh it's from famial experiences mostly
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Do you think your stories err on the side of optimism or pessimism?
@ everyone
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
since most of my family suffered from the vietnam war, a lot of stuff they told me were fist hand accounts of war and cruetlty
like from my mom, my dad, my aunties and uncles
even like the older members of my communties so that stuff is still fresh lmao
Deo101 [Millennium]
Optimism. I want to say neither but I know nearly no one would read it and say it's realistic
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Oh, I've had similar stories. My great grandmother had her whole family except her killed by a Japanese bomb and my family, despite traveling a lot, has still never visited Japan out of respect to her
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
but since they already living better lives I see that the darkness in those times have at least kick started them out to their kind of propserity or still striving towards
so I see myself as a realist lmao
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
I think my stories usually go a bit more on the pessimistic side I’m afraid. People have remarked that my more emotional scenes can be surprisingly dark, so I’m trying to introduce some more heartwarming scenes
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I don't wanna say "err on the side of".... I do bittersweet and slightly LEAN towards the bitter more often than not! But I think this particular aspect may be partly up to the readers to gauge.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I think my story is realistic to me. The worst my characters experience is similar to mine, and the best is also similar to mine. But I have no idea if my own life has had more good or more bad than the "average person"
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
"Sometimes life super sucks in ways you have little to no control over, but you can still be there for each other, and that really, really counts" <--- is this too bitter or just right? That's up to each reader to answer, I think.
Deo101 [Millennium]
Hey you said optimism or pessimism you gotta pick
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
like there is hope and optimism but that is meaningless without the critical side of things. and I want to depict those sides in life.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Optimism
But I'm optimistic
Deo101 [Millennium]
Keiiii that's the way I write too and I think it's optimistic
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
My life has shown me that I can escape bad things so I don't think optimism is unrealistic though
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
You can't fix life but you can give love
Deo101 [Millennium]
Exactly
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
i guess for my stories they kinda like what keii said like there's good side of things but lmao I somehow add some painful elements that they have to endure in order to have those good times(edited)
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
personallly I think stories work if you give people hope
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Eh, not every story is meant to give hope
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Yeah
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
but it's a good goal
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
like as long as you give people a semblance of hope, even if you throw some depressing stuff.....it can work. Oh, I meant as a bittersweet story
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
But I think not giving hope is unrealistic
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
lmao I guess I'm a target since the last story i write
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Though perhaps I only think that because I haven't experienced true tragedy(edited)
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
it was just bleak in a hopeful light
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
It depends, like I can imagine a short story that hyperfocuses on something extremely depressing.
Deo101 [Millennium]
Y'know what I have actually hopeless things in my life and I have 0 interest in reading a story that's hopeless
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
ye and that's fair
Deo101 [Millennium]
And even though I have hopeless experiences I don't think my life overall is hopeless
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
i wonder if people actively look for stories that focus on not having hope because i know many people read these stories as a way to escape their lives
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
I agree on that. idk. for me writing stories that lead to an end that really don't work with both parties... could be just my morbid curosity in just seeing how things won't work out as planned for both persons.
could be like a philosophical thing maybe? or giving a different perspective of some sorts?
like "things are the same but given with the option you gave me, I can't go through with that"
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I can relate to curiosity being a motivation for exploring dark stories. It's why I check out horror stories -- horror stories (games especially) show the MC in an extremely "wrong" situation at the beginning, and I check them out to find out the presumably equally extreme "why" for that wrongness. I don't think I could write stories like that myself, though.
Psychological horror specifically
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
yeah, horror has been uh ingraned in my life to this point. and I like writing stories with that kind of edge in mind, more of the psycholgial aspects than horror.
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
Do you guys think some people search for morbid stories like these to not only satisfy their curiousity....but also to make themselves feel better about their own lives?
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I don't particularly care to find out why Mr. Chainsaw is going around killing everyone in a splatter/slasher horror, for instance X'D
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
it's a possibility tbh.
sometimes I do that but I also had experienced simalar kinds of sorts that seeing those works i'm like "dang not alone in these wack feels"
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I guess it depends on each person?
"Gee, at least I don't have any literal demons coming after my eyeballs" is not very comforting to me, personally
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
i mean lmao
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Sometimes sad stories do make me feel more thankful for my own peaceful life but I don't seek them out for that reason
Deo101 [Millennium]
Imagine if ur disabled and that's the narrative used to make other people feel better about their lives
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
DX
Deo101 [Millennium]
Off topic but that's why disabled people hate "inspiration porn"
It's something that's really hard to explain cause "do you not want to inspire people" is really hard to answer
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
yeah, those kinds of stories I really don't like at all.
Deo101 [Millennium]
So I wanted to jump on the opportunity to explain even though it's really off topic sorry
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
No, don't be sorry. "Life sucks but hey, at least you're not me!" is not something anyone should have to put up with
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
it's understandable tho!
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
To be honest I do seek out stories about disability because I find it fascinating how people adapt to mental and physical changes. I find ingenuity very interesting?
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
I guess I look at it more towards like how some relationships with people don't work, and also the diaconomy between individuals interest me. Not for those kinds of stories but I've seen elements of that appear in some works i read in the past
Deo101 [Millennium]
I also seek out stories about disabilities, but only hopeful ones not like "my life is ruined and this is my driving motivation, to not be like this"
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
One of the books I recommended was by a doctor who spent his life working with people with leprosy and the workarounds for missing limbs and sensation he and his patients would come up with was just so fascinating to me to read
It's something that's really hard to explain cause "do you not want to inspire people" is really hard to answer
@Deo101 [Millennium] I think I understand you but just curious- how do you respond to that?(edited)
Deo101 [Millennium]
It's usually like "I want to inspire people to be like me because they're proud of what I can do" but they're always like "I'm proud of what you can do in spite of-" and it's like. Idk just a deep sigh
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
oh yeah rip
i had that happened to me before like "Dang you do did this and you're from some a family that suffered so much--"
"uh huh please focus on the work not my life thanks lmao"
Deo101 [Millennium]
Like don't hold me to a different, lower standard. Don't pity me
Yeah exactly
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Hm it's sort of true but also if someone said "I'm proud of what you can do despite not having a dad" I'd be like fuck yoooouuuu
Deo101 [Millennium]
Like there's other things please
It's like, pity. It's not actually inspiration I think
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I'm proud of what you can do in spite of not having a brain
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
pity has left the building
like sure, yeah let's go with that but there's other experiences other than my background and my identity the brought out this work too. that's how we can get some unique voices into the field.
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
so yeah, I can understand rip people saying fustrating things like that. maybe they don't have a better way of phrasing it. orz
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
At the very least it's better than the opposite side
"your experiences were not that bad" angle
Deo101 [Millennium]
I get that a lot also
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
and sadly I too experienced that angle LMAO
Deo101 [Millennium]
LMAO tuyetnhi same hat
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
no one wins
hurrah
most of it came about because of my mixed idenity like I don't get hit by the usual racism my viet friends experienced
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
This is overall a very small thing but I casually mentioned I was attracted to women to a long time friend yesterday and she went full on "thank you so much for coming out to me this doesn't change my opinion of you I love you you're a great friend" And then the conversation got hella stilted and awkward after that and AG I Hate that
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
but er.... I have seen people look at me and was like "mixed baby? that's hot"
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Wtfff
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
"please no."
it's wack like u put me in a scale where that scale is already wack to begin with
it don't make sense lmao
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
wait what the fuck
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
People are like why TF are u using a cane you're young and I tell them I have a condition and they're like, what does it do and I say the symptoms and they're like :/ I get those too :/
Freak out and tell them to get tested right away
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
also i really get annoyed when I see people just.......treat people with personality disorders like we're all psychos and tell others
hey at least you're not like these psychos
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Oh the telling others bit(edited)
Nooooo
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
like my experience isn't that universal but it's already terible enough knowing that if you have mixed ethncities then you're treated as an "exotic creature" and i'm like "I'll shoot you down"
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Mann luckily I grew up in a place where that doesn't really happen
I hope
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
Oh my god i'm glad i live in a really diverse city and yeah deo....they do
we get labelled "troubled people" particularly if we're female in the mental health sector
a LOT of psychiatrists push us around and they use it as code for "difficult"
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
rip I live where 80% the folks here are mostly er homogenous white folk
and they ask me these questions that I know boil me blood
I'm too poor for cali man
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
oooooof I feel that tuyetnhi i went to a really white uni town for my alma mater
i got called a tall chink by a frat boy there
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
yeah I experienced that shit durring uni
it sucks
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
yoooo you can also come to toronto if you can't go to cali ;3
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
I can travel to toronto but lmao maybe next year
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
maybe ;A;;
also @Eightfish (Puppeteer) wait what do you mean by your question? is it pertaining to personality disorders or to the race questions?
......yeah people tend to treat you better if they don't know you have a personality disorder
LMAO I MEAN TRUE, that's pretty obvious XD
because people think that personality disorders are untreatable. And I would like people to be more informed about them
Heck, a lot of people don't even know about BPD. So I'd rather that people stay informed about it, even if it means that I might suffer for it.
What if there's another person with BPD who needed help but the people around them didn't know? And I don't think it's fair to keep it hidden when it can easily damage relationships.
Deo101 [Millennium]
And also, "why don't you just hide that part of yourself if people treat you badly for how you are?" Is hardly ever a healthy way of dealing with things
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
better be informed than being ignorant
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
Yeah...I've actually considered just...putting a joke warning label on myself lmao
(but thank you guys for understanding <3)
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
negatively changed? rip
ohhh nooo
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
yeah.....it's kinda like.....just because you have these negative experiences, you try not to let it stop you
because there's ALWAYS a chance that you'll meet people who understand
........I actually told a good friend that I had bpd and she started ghosting me. She was scared of me and thought i was...."weird"
and scary.
She was scared that i was gonna go psycho.
but I think it's important to know that not everyone is going to be an asshole.
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
it really is
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
i had a psychiatrist tell me that i probably lost friends....because i was a bitch ;A;
after formally diagnosing me with bpd
yeah and i had one psychiatrist just....diagnost me with anxiety disorder and he wouldn't listen to me just gave me a survey to fill out
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
makes them feel like they're 2d?
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
yeah and they are usually very complex and have very VERY varied pasts doesn't help that the media paints us as monsters in horror movies a lot
you see sociopathy and antisocial disorder in the news a lot and then they see people with bpd and they're like
LOOK! YANDERES!
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
ooooffff
that's not even part of the DSM lmaO
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
screams every time i see an article about how to "save yourself from someone with BPD"
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
speaking from my experiences as a former psyche major
like that can't be determined solely just by those factors alone
cormidbity is a factor too
oh my godddd
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I get that a lot
also yeah psychiatrists..........they need to keep themselves updated man
they put a lot of blanket terms for people with pds because it's easier or maybe because psychiatrists are simply not equipped to deal with people with pds?
i mean look how many psychiatrists i've met or heard fuck it up with bpd
and that's one of THE EASIEST pds to rehabilitate
imagine rehabilitating someone with narcissism or sociopathy
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
APD
is the proper term lmao
or ASPD
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
also eightfish....nope. it's a really long LONG road to rehabilitation. Some take years.
but it's kinda...a relief to be diagnosed OH WHOOPS
mbad
OH MY GOD THE TRANSGENDER THING
coughs in victorian times exCUSE me
hugs
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
rip this is from my understanding but if the condition of the disorder is either: a combination of bringing harm to yourself, restricting yourself from your routines, harm to others, or sense of losing control of your daily life then they will mostly likely dianoise. though that's what I
I've known years ago rip. idk if they hold up those standards today
or changed things from it
it really bites when you're seeking help and the folks that supposed to help you say like "but you're normally functioning so I see no problem ya u free to go"
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
"if we can't see it you're not injured so get the fuck back to work"
psychiatrists who just brush you off because it doesn't fit THEIR narrative piss you off
like you're going to them for help....and they categorize you as they see fit
and when you try to go against them they label you as "difficult"
eliushi [a winged tale]
Hey friends, good discussions here but just wondering if it’s best in #general as this will be archived? Just want you all to be safe
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
ah okay! Thank you Eli
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
Oof wait archived?
In what way?
eliushi [a winged tale]
Check pins(edited)
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
OH GOD
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
Ahh
I'm deleting every message lol
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
(And this convo is off topic)
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
will do man
Deo101 [Millennium]
already on it
I just deleted everything to about 1 cause I think thats where we went off topic
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Oh shit yeah this is creator babble
I will delete messages as well
#ctparchive#comic#webcomics#indie comics#comic chat#comic discussion#comic tea party#ctp#creator interview#comic creator interview#creator babble
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Chapter 102: Escape Route
So… I have a confession to make.
I actually read this chapter weeks ago, when I had those few missed updates a while ago. And since reading it, I find myself for the first time ever since doing this rant series…lost for words.
I know!
And I don’t mean that to say this chapter is confusing, or aggravating, or too good to talk shit about, it’s just…empty. Which is weird, given that on paper there’s some juicy elements to talk about. In fact, I was initially pretty excited to go into this chapter given that this is the chapter that gave us:
So how the hell can I say there’s nothing to talk about? Well, it’s all in the summary. The chapter starts with the panel I presented in the beginning, where Lucy establishes that it’s Augustus’ birthday. There’s a bit of back and forth which is cute, but it’s all just fluff to get us to…
A retcon of that one chapter where Lucy tried to ride the bus with Augustus! Except instead of being kicked off the bus for bus hopping, she instead gets to stay. Now that might seem like a semi-interesting concept, but it’s really not and it’s evident in the chapter. It’s basically just this
Lucy sees the place that Augustus lives in, and what it’s like in the inner city, and a glimpse into his home life. She’s culture shocked, and ends up sleeping over, where she has
THE DREAM
but then we snap back to reality and nothing is really changed. I’m glossing over a lot here, but the thing is, while reading this chapter I felt oddly underwhelmed. It felt like I already knew everything that would happen in this chapter. Which might be chalked up to me being spoiled about the Alejandro dream when this chapter initially came out, but then again I’m no stranger to spoilers. And in fact, a lot of times spoilers lead to more interest from me, because I want to know how we got to those big moments, and a lot of times there’s things that were missed while everyone was focused on that big moment which is where a lot of my rants get their material from. A good example of this, being the carnival.
I knew about this line and the implications when it came out, but it didn’t spoil it for me. There were plenty of surprises and criticisms to throw outside of this one boneheaded moment. There was more than just this one scene to make me perk up and dive into, such as Lacey’s behavior following this confession. But here?
Outside of the alleyway nightmare sequence, there’s nothing to dig into. Which baffles me so much I’ve had to sit and stew on what the fuck to even talk about for weeks! Because there SHOULD be something to talk about here, there’s a new event going on, a return to form of having an alternate take on a previous situation. You’d think, as someone who basically started their artistic comeback doing that exact same thing I’d have more to talk about here, but I’m kinda stumped. What do I talk about?
Oh, we see that Augustus lives in poverty and has bad parents? Yeah, we already knew that!
Well okay, we may have known that but maybe this is about showing that Lucy knows that now too, and it’s showing her come to this revelation! Which that might be true, except for the fact that
WE ALREADY KNOW LUCY KNOWS THIS SHIT, WHEN AUGUSTUS TOLD HER!
But what about Alejandro? Maybe this chapter is meant to be a refresher to the audience to remind us that Alejandro’s a threat, except that’s even weaker because his existence as a real threat, was already reestablished THE SAME CHAPTER LUCY CAME BACK IN!
Any information to be gathered from this chapter is either surface level shit, or just stuff that every reader already knows about. And what makes this even worse is the fact that THIS WAS A FUCKING REDRAW OF A BCI EXCLUSIVE COMIC!
So anyone who actually read that, and paid money to see that exclusive storyline was rewarded by having to wait at least TEN FUCKING WEEKS to read the same fucking shit they read before! And yes, I am going to talk about the BCI exclusive, because it made me kind of excited to dive into this chapter knowing that I could double dip, by comparing the BCI exclusive version to the canon version. And it would’ve been a moral dilemma for me to show you this, because I do respect Taeshi’s private art and not showing what she may not want to show. And I would feel bad about showing something that people paid money to exclusively see… if it weren’t for the fact that IT IS A COMPLETE PANEL-BY-PANEL CARBON COPY OF THE FUCKING EXCLUSIVE! I COULD SHOW YOU THE ENTIRE FUCKING BCI COMIC, AND IT WOULDN’T MATTER AT ALL, BECAUSE IF YOU’VE READ THIS CHAPTER YOU’VE ALREADY READ THE FUCKING EXCLUSIVE SO IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER!
“But wait!” you might be saying, “That’s not entirely true. Taeshi redrew the pages, and changed bits of the dialogue!” And you know what? You’re right! She did, let’s talk about that shall we?
These are the only things she changed, just dialogue tweaks. And you might be thinking, “Okay I see what you mean. These are all just minor changes, that really don’t deviate in any substantial way to the chapter’s story.” Except… if you pair this with the other thing that wasn’t in the BCI exclusive, it’s quite clear what these little changes really insinuate, and what they mean. Because, you know what wasn’t in the BCI exclusive?
This scene and yes the entire dream sequence, which I haven’t touched too much on wasn’t in the BCI exclusive. It was created solely for the canon adaptation and if pair this with the minor dialogue changes I specifically brought up, you’ll see why they’re actually significant..
First of all, I just need to point this out because I saw it, and now you can’t unsee it either.
Lucy’s going full owl head here. These guys must be freaks to hit on someone doing the fucking exorcist full neck turn. But don’t let the owl head distract you, bear in mind that those five panels I showed from the BCI was the entire exchange and reaction between Lucy and these creeps. However, in the canon…
It actually lingers on a bit more, we see the guys’ faces and them leering at Lucy, it has more implications outside of a simple cat-calling (no pun intended). It’s more focus on Lucy trying to act tough and stifle her fears.
But this change really shows what the changes are really trying to get at here. The original line insinuates more than violence, but could mean death. Whereas the change to “He’d be more than excited to know you came way out here.” Is pretty clear in its implication. And this implication is indicative of what this chapter is really trying to establish. And the implication is…
THE R-WORD. And no, I don’t mean THAT R-Word you assholes; I mean the R-word that gets brought up whenever you talk about Augustus x Daisy, the R-Word that is tied to Alejandro, the R-Word that is brought up to excuse Lucy’s change in character, the R-Word I refrained from using in the carnival chapter because I don’t want to talk about that... I’m talking about…
Rape.
You wanna know what the whole purpose of this chapter is about? If you break away all the needless information that we already know about Augustus, the only thing to take away from this chapter and its dream within a flashback…is that Lucy was almost raped… it has traumatized her, and she need serious help. And after realizing that, and the fact that the entire trip is pointless in giving the reader anything new to chew on, I can’t even give a thought to the rest of that dream sequence, as it’s just that Lucy distrusts her friends and feels isolated. Even if I talk about that, and what interesting things to gather from it there may be, I know it doesn’t matter because it’s a fucking DREAM WITHIN A FLASHBACK! And if we look at this chapter and break it down to brass tacks, all this chapter tries to accomplish is trying to make us sympathize with Lucy by bringing up the absolute worst fucking thing imaginable. And it just so happens that this is during after we’ve seen Lucy do some messed up shit to her former friends. Perhaps this chapter is meant to make us feel pity for Lucy, and let that pity excuse the bullshit she’s done. But pulling out the rape card? That’s fucking low. This chapter aside from the rapey bits, is just numbing. Like I said, everything that this scenario could’ve dived into or revealed were revealed and reinforced already. And I remember when this chapter was coming out, even us shitposters and loving haters were fucking bored to tears, counting the fucking days for this chapter to end. But I know what some might say,
“You’re being unfair, Lt! Of course you know this stuff, you’re a fanatic! This is a refresher for everyone, because they may not remember the stuff with Alejandro! They may not be so well versed, and you yourself even complained how there were minor things you forgot about in the canon that needed to be reminded to you!” and you know what?
Ya might be right there, pally. You might be right, the dedicated fanbase probably could use a refresher on the threat of Alejandro, I mean who’s gonna remember that plot point from all the way back in Volume 1? Except that like I stated in the beginning of this rant...
THE THREAT OF ALEJANDRO AND THE EFFECT HE HAS ON LUCY AND AUGUSTUS WAS ALREADY RE-ESTABLISHED SEVEN CHAPTERS AGO! HIS INFLUENCE IS EVER PRESENT WITH AUGUSTUS!
“But that’s seven chapters ago! In real time, that was like a year difference. You can’t just expect readers to remember that!” Well maybe you’re right, maybe you’re right. But wait!
AREN’T YOU THE SAME PEOPLE WHO TELL ME AND MANY OTHER READERS THAT THIS COMIC IS MEANT TO BE READ IN BINGE FORM?! WHERE IT’S CHAPTER BY CHAPTER! BUT NOW YOU WANNA GIVE A BREAK TO THE ADDICTS WAITING WITH BAITED BREATH DAY ON END FOR AN UPDATE!? WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT?!
sigh...
In closing… This chapter above all else, and I’m surprised to say this… Is utterly pointless. It’s nothing but shock value, meant to reinforce the fucked up part of BCB and these characters. It gives us nothing new, and it’s a chapter that I feel is just a waste of time. We already knew the things it brings up, and what we didn’t know, we could easily infer. Not to mention that its placement before December, muddles the motivation of Lucy’s suicide attempt if not exposes a missed opportunity because it would’ve been a lot more interesting and moving to have Lucy think about her friends outside of Mike before jumping, and we see there that she has that mistrust in them. But nope, that’s not what we get and this chapter does absolutely nothing except tell the audience, “Hey! Lucy was almost raped and it’s fucked up! We didn’t take the time to explore this, and establish her feelings before (even in times after this flashback supposedly takes place) so we’re going to bring it up now! And it’s a flashback so we can say it was there the entire time! But in reality, we just didn’t want to dive into it back then, but we’re gonna bring it back in now!” And hey, why not recycle an entire storyline that you did before and change next to nothing. Because that’s super creative.
I give this chapter a hollow 2/10 I’ll give it an extra point because the nightmare sequence was actually well done. I liked Taeshi’s use of vertical paneling and experimenting with the webcomic style in that way, and it was done very effectively. However, that doesn’t change that fact that it was nothing but shallow shock value in my eyes.
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title: Colour Me Free
word count: 1494
tags: established relationship, sexuality, interactive introverts - moscow, tattoos, queer themes
summary: Over the next few days Dan draws and redraws a tiny triangle on his bicep every morning with a sharpie, because he’s never been one to take decisions lightly, because he’s still afraid of commitment but the need to have those three lines on his skin is stronger.
or: queer signaling, a triangle, an earring and Russia.
a/n: written for @phandomficfests tour fic fest. huge thanks to @drycerealthief for beta reading.
READ ON AO3
It comes as a shock to Phil the first time Dan mentions it. Phil’s sitting on the sofa, mindlessly adding the last finishing touches to a gaming video that will go up that same night. It comes easy to him, after all these years. Some comic sans here, a funny effect there, the little things that make their videos theirs. That’s why he doesn’t wear headphones for this last process. Headphones mean serious business, don’t talk to me unless the building is burning and I’m going to die in 30 seconds. No headphones means he’s editing for the sake of it, so Dan doesn’t have to do it later, because he’s bored and he needs a distraction that will make him feel productive. It is because of this that he hears Dan, loud and clear, from where he’s being sitting for the past 20 minutes in his little corner, clickity-clacking away on his mechanical keyboard.
“I think I want to get a tattoo.”
It isn’t a conversational comment, no. He says it like a statement, like it means something. And it does, because they’ve had plenty of conversations regarding tattoos. Phil’s scared of needles and Dan’s scared of commitment.
Dan is looking intently at Phil now, who turned around in shock as soon as he heard his words. His look is meaningful and Phil starts to understand what this is all about, because there are little things that Dan is somewhat reluctant to openly talk about and, after all these years, after all those therapy sessions, his sexuality is still one of them. It isn’t a matter of shame or prudishness, Dan’s unapologetically loud and proud with his closer social circles and also practically out on the internet. The thing is, though, he prefers to show, not tell. He would rather kiss Phil in front of a family friend–if they were into that kind of PDA– than have to explain, come out for the upteenth time.
Phil’s been through it all next to him and, what he hasn’t been, he’s been told. He’s been told about the first crush Dan had on a boy, about the first time he wanked to the thought of a boy touching him and about the first time he watched gay porn and didn’t turn his laptop on for a week after that, as if it had been tainted.
And he had been there for the first time Dan had kissed a boy, him, and then touched his lips, amazed that he could feel so much. Phil had been many of Dan’s firsts, but there were other firsts. Labels, coming outs, accepting himself, that was all parallel to their story, sometimes intertwined, sometimes separate. And it had been a long process for Dan, not always because of him, but because of the circumstances they found themselves in.
Lately, he had been trying to signal his sexuality, his queerness. There hadn’t been any conversation about it. One day he just started doing research, bought a bunch of earrings a week later and that was it. So, yes, Phil understands what the tattoo is about, yet he wants to be sure.
“Of what?” he asks.
“A little triangle or an equal sign. Right here.” He lifts his arm and points to where he wants it, nestled between the well-defined muscles underneath his arm. No one would see it there, no one but him, Phil, and maybe their friends when they’re on summer holidays in some Mediterranean island. People he trusts.
Phil gets up and joins him in the corner, sitting on the bench behind him.
“Do you think you will regret it?” He asks, because he has to. Because he worries and because Dan needs someone to ask the right questions.
Dan stops to think about the answer. He takes a few seconds before he replies and eases Phil’s mind.
“I don’t think I will. I would if it was a silly tattoo, but this is who I am. Me being queer isn’t going to change, I’m not going to change.”
“Okay, then,” Phil smiles the brightest he’s possibly ever smiled, all kinds of pride filling his heart. “Do you have any ideas of what you want the design to look like?”
Dan beams excitedly and turns around, presumably to show Phil the few designs he’d saved. Phil stands up and moves to Dan’s side, leaning on the table. It appears Dan was on Pinterest looking up different ideas, but he has over ten different tabs open, some of them from popular queer media. Phil feels the wave of pride again, and leans over to kiss Dan’s cheek. He keeps his hand on Dan’s back, because he needs to touch. He needs the connection.
Half an hour later, they’ve reviewed over fifteen designs. Most of them look the same to Phil because there’s really not many ways you can draw a triangle or an equal sign, but he doesn’t tell Dan this. He gives his opinions and Dan agrees with most of them. Together, they narrow it down to two very minimalistic tattoos. Sharp, fine lines. In the end, Dan goes for the triangle.
*
Over the next few days Dan draws and redraws a tiny triangle on his bicep every morning with a sharpie, because he’s never been one to take decisions lightly, because he’s still afraid of commitment but the need to have those three lines on his skin is stronger.
It looks good on him, so good, surrounded by the defined muscles that drive Phil crazy. Phil is a bit obsessed with the triangle and Dan has noticed, not like Phil is hiding it. When they fuck, he grabs Dan’s arm and mouths around it. When they cuddle, he traces the lines with his fingertips and just watches how goosebumps appear on Dan’s skin. Neither of them comment on it, because as much as it turns Phil on, as much as he loves it, that’s not what it is about. It’s for Dan, and for Dan only.
*
He never gets it. Weeks pass, months pass and they’re in the midst of tour planning and then tour prepping and Phil doesn’t know if Dan has put the tattoo aside for now or if it was one of those ideas that Dan has but never actually get carried out. He could ask, of course he could, but this is something Dan needs to do at his own pace. If he ever does.
The earring however, that’s a staple now. Sometimes Dan even wears it around the house when they’re not doing anything, no videos to be filmed, no pictures to be posted. He says it makes him feel more like himself when Phil asks about it, a mix of curiosity and admiration bubbling inside him.
He always wears it. Until Russia.
*
“I feel like I want to scream it,” Dan says when they’re cuddled up in bed their first night in Moscow. They’re planning to sleep in their respective rooms but neither wants to leave the other just yet.
“What, that you like cock?” Phil looks over at him, his eyes unconsciously drifting to Dan’s naked right ear. The earring has been in Dan’s pocket all day and it will probably stay there until they get to Berlin.
“It’s weird, right? I never felt this need to be so... open about it.”
Phil hums in understanding. His hand trails up Dan’s arm until it reaches the inside of his bicep. He draws a triangle there.
They sleep separately that night, as they intended. It feels like submitting.
*
Phil goes over to Dan’s room early the next day. Dan is still in his boxers when he opens the door, hair wet and dripping.
Phil settles on the bed as he watches Dan get dressed, pulling on the checkered shorts that remind Phil of home, of snuggling on the sofa watching whatever show they’re into that week, of taking them off of Dan hours later.
“Can you fetch me a pen?” Dan asks as he buttons up the bottoms.
Phil nods, even though Dan is not watching him. He grabs the complimentary hotel pen that’s sitting on the bedside table to his right and gets up to hand it to Dan.
“Can you draw it for me?” Dan asks instead of taking the pen. He lifts up his arm and looks at Phil sheepishly. There’s no confusion about what he means. “The lines end up wonky if I do it myself.”
“‘Course.” He pecks Dan’s lips before getting to work.
His lines end up even wonkier than if Dan had drawn them himself. He’s all shaky hands by the time he’s done and steps back to look at it properly. It feels momentous and yet so natural, comforting even. It feels like the power of those lines extends for the both of them.
*
Dan gets the tattoo when they get back home before the US tour. Phil holds his hand through it.
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Art Growth Compilation
I really enjoy doing posts about improvement in art.
It makes me feel better about my work, especially with how busy I am these days.
I wanted to compile all the comparisons I’ve made over the years and kinda discuss the posts, for myself or others.
I thought it’d be funny to start with comparing how I first drew on a tablet, using dodge and burn tools, to how I do now which is using layers and actually painting. It’s funny to look back on that, you know?
I linked the post I made, compiling all the month to month memes from 2003-2017 that I try and do yearly. And everything else is under a cut ;w;’‘/
Most artists have done a drawing of themselves and a few Pokemon, or their team. I did that in 2010, and was dissatisfied with my work...
I took a crack again in 2013 after I’d learned to draw more animals and not be so Edgy(tm) I really liked the results. I still didn’t use references though, because I was lazy. I just didn’t want to. I still was on that boat feeling like I was CHEATING. I wasn’t being CREATIVE if I looked at references.
Artists get stuck on using reference and it’s AWFUL. USE THEM. USE TWENTY. LEARN!! It’s so HELPFUL, I wish I had started sooner.
In 2014 though -
I tried again.
I had gotten better at anatomy, but most of all, I started to work off references more. I started to really focus on not stylizing so much, but to work on actually making things look like things. I started to work on caring about COMPARISON sizes. Composition!!
While Pokemon reference sizes are -wiggle hands- and while my team changed up, I was satisfied that I could draw Arbok ACTUALLY like a cobra now, Meowth is easy given it’s just a noseless cat so to speak, Haunter is literally a triangle cloud - I was satisfied having drawn that team.
My secondary team in the new games? I was excited to draw them. It was fresh and new and FUN and it turned out PRECIOUS.
I learned better how to proportion things in an image for layout, and just... making characters feel COHESIVE in the same space.
It was a nice thing to keep visiting. I have a sketch in the works for an update even hopefully.
These pieces are kind of interesting to me too, because they’re towards the end of my era of THIN lineart?
My lineart has gone from this, and THIS, to this.
Literally I use to not believe in line weight, I can still do thin work of course, but I’m not a fan of trying to FORCE it like I use to? Even the second link, I went from the SMALLEST brush in Sai, to using a marker brush that had barely ANY give, to a custom brush on Sai that acts like a Paint Chat brush I use to use with friends online!
That’s what I mean about style too, like you may reserve yourself about things - like not coloring black in and outlining with white, or certain ways you do things. But the growth and changing and figuring FUN ways to color that black etc is where the fun of art comes in, to me??
Learn. EXPERIMENT. PUSH!
A few months ago, I did my first redraw. Of this piece from 2012.
Six years difference.
This was interesting for a number of reasons. There’s aspects I like more in the old one, but not many. I really like the pose a bit better, but I like the casual closeness that I did in the new one because that’s more my Shepard.
But technically speaking, it’s worlds better because I took time. I paid attention to details. I did fun things instead of rushing. I took time with my coloring and didn’t SMEAR it around. I had a friend who use to complain I drew so fast and they felt so SLOW, but I love what that taught me. I started taking more time on my art, and enjoying it more since I caught more mistakes and vastly improved. By leaps and bounds.
It’s amazing what a difference six years makes in not only style, which is often a FOCUS of these things? My style has come awkwardly and naturally to me over the years of critically picking certain things apart? but I really love where it’s gotten.
I have things I want to get back to, but I love... where it is, and CAN be?
But it’s wild to me how much change happens in technical handling? It’s a hand in hand thing, you can’t focus on one or the other only, or the other suffers.
Honestly this has been my favorite improvement to notice though?
Kisame was a character I felt I should be able to draw EASILY? Not so much. Itachi? ALSO EASY. Not so much??
Kisame has weird eyes to grasp how to draw? Thus focusing on them kept making them wonky to me!! On top of that, he’s everything I’ve been use to drawing for AGES because he has a muscular body, with a smaller waist? ... that was something I was use to drawing? I still was awkward getting back into the swing of that... Drawing HIS HAIR though? NOT SO EASY....
But like, Itachi should have been easy, but I have a thing about him appearing too feminine as he gets drawn because his eyelashes, and I’ve really found a nice... medium at this point?
But even still like my face styles and eye styles are finally to a comfortable point for me? I have stopped focusing on some weird things with Itachi’s hair and just... DO IT? But even still like...
The improvement here is literally just if I don’t know how to do something, or I’m not satisfied with how I do it? I just keep at it.
It’s a theme of this post honestly... repetition, persistence.
Keep drawing it. Keep trying to figure out what it is that’s catching you off about how you do it. Don’t like how you do eyes or how they fit on the face? Look at facial structures and references and figure it out. Draw them separate and figure out how to apply them to what you are.
Remember there’s a skull in there. I draw the holes in the skull like the eye sockets, and the nose area to help my proportions for SURE.
I’ve also gotten to a nice marriage in my lineart? The piece before the recent one, those lines feel HARDER or HEAVIER? The newest piece seems...softer? Like I’m lighter handed again?
I really like critiquing my own growth on what is good or working better for me? Older pieces it looks like I’m putting lineweight for SAKE of it versus where it goes now?
INTERESTING.
Like this lineup -
My style shifts so RAPIDLY, it still is noticeably MY style to people, but parts shift so VIOLENTLY because I’m constantly picking at what I don’t LIKE.
It’s funny too in the case of Kisame and Itachi because consistently I’m drawing the SAME character over and over - can make you REALIZE how you’re doing something wrong?
Like, here’s a difference of eight years, and it’s all the brush I use now, and it REALLY shows how my style has changed - in the aspect of one point of reference?
I have a childhood favorite character too, of Daisuke, and I use to be bad at drawing boys, and I use to be SUPER bad at drawing fluffy hair?
It was something I specifically started to learn to do? And I started to draw Daisuke every few months or years for a while. Especially when I started to first REALIZE I didn’t like my style that much?
But the middle one was July 2009, top left is less than 6 months later, and the last one is about a year later. DRASTIC DIFFERENCE. But next -
This one was in 2012, when I started to do more with teeth, or first dipping my toes into anatomy. I started to focus more on HANDS too, I was super bad at them. Overall I started to focus more on making my art have...ages? Like a boy versus a man. Facial features being DIFFERENT.
I can look at this boring little bust and see that he comes off more of a teenage boy to me now. I need to work more on figuring how to draw asian features especially the eyes. Sometimes I hit the mark, other times I don’t.
but between this and 2012? Not too much has changed. I do hair fluffier now, and I angle the eyes better. The teeth not being outlined doesn’t give that weird effect where I might give him TOO MANY TEETH....
People do that and it’s easy but whoof.
So there’s still learning and adapting to do in QUICK drawings, you know? but I can still see there’s good things. That took me like 5 minutes to draw? Not bad honestly.
In it’s own bracket is original characters though too?? But also divergent of STYLE shifts because like...
OKAY. Nightmare Syndicate’s story.. started for me in 7th or 8th grade, that was when I was...14? 15? I’ve been fleshing it out for like 13 years, that’s wild haha!! I love my kids and all.
But okay so SIALI. She’s still fairly similar but I restructured her face for SURE. She’s gotten less edgy, she’s.... a teenage girl.
FELIX?? CHRIST. He’s been such a long journey!! More on that later?
Rot and even Cor?? Rot and Cor are a shorter span of development, but Rot started in Highschool so almost 10 years ago, and Cor has been fairly solid - but even just DRAWING him over three years? Go look at how much he changes.. I’m not married to concepts easily. haha!
People act like making a character you’re STUCK with it. Like Oh boy, I better make this character good, from the get go!!
I only worry about that with small potatoes like my Pillar(Gods) designs I just made for the comic?? Even still, small things will change with them I’m sure.
But not only has Felix and Siali changed, but they’ve GROWN with my style and DEFINED it even. I’ve had to adjust my style to support Felix’s look honestly a LOT. Bend my rules. Break my anatomy stickler attitude - and honestly, that’s the thing.
You have to learn the rules and anatomy BEFORE you can break them. A style built upon broken anatomy will fail you down the road if you just excuse everything with style.
Learn to draw the hands. Learn to draw the feet. Figure out the face. Bones exist. You can break the FUCK out of it once you learn how to do it, you know? Like I’ve seen so many styles I LOVE who are cartoony and BROKEN AS FUCK, but there’s still some STRUCTURE to it. Most of those people can still structure a face just fine, and the reason exaggeration works so well is because there’s like unwritten rules for what works and doesn’t based on that?
Idk.
Felix has a very elongated torso, he’s like 7′ or 8′ tall so I mean?? He’s... broken anatomy, but he’s... lanky - but his muscle is LITHE and stretched. It makes contextual sense. That’s the important part.
But even designs, it’s important to understand designs YOU make, or like... to understand they’ll CHANGE and that’s growth within your art too?
Like okay, example. Felix has a millipede inspired monster form. But with designing that? I still have to know how millipedes and SNAKES work because there's bones and vertebrae in there??
But there’s also the difference of like... CONCEPT, versus execution. You can design a fucking badass character, but understanding your own concept is SOMETHING.
I had no idea how this would play out, until I was mapping out his ‘midsection’ spikes? and man. MY STYLE WAS MADE FOR THIS CHALLENGE NOW. Which is so interesting how smooth my style has always been? Felix has defined ANGLES in it, and it’s hilarious tbh?
But even too, I’ve had to work with Felix’s monster form FACE, to break the rules to make it WORK the way I need it too?
On the anatomy subject too, like when I first got into Marvel comics 6 years ago or so? I had no idea how to do muscle structures?? I was so BAD at it.
I can look at this left image and CRINGE so badly at how NONE of those are muscles?? THOSE ARE THINGS I PERCEIVE AS MUSCLES. Like...
A course I took taught me to draw what I see, not what I know. That’s the whole point of that post that goes around about drawing a shrimp. Look it up. It’s hilarious and cute.
But it’s like, asking an artist to draw a bike, you can tell who uses reference and who WINGS it. It’s funny, but like it’s what you know versus what you see.
I started to study anatomy like crazy and was seeing improvements days at a time. The right image was done like... a month later? already I can see the muscles under the pectorals? those look normal now. the abs aren’t dough lumps under the skin in a perfect 6 pack, they’re the actual plane shapes.
I was trying to find a good reference for myself of learning to make men ‘thicker’ too in terms of the waist etc since the left is really...thin.... but...
A bit better, but even still, comparing these two - they’re 2 months apart? and I can see understanding more about arms and how they connect to the body, where the planes ACTUALLY lay for the chest and obliques and such?
I can see improvements from July 2012 up there, to - WHOOPS. I FORGOT TO CHANGE THE YEAR LMAO... TO FEBRUARY 2013...omg
I mean, I could go on and on about improvements I see, when I go through my art though? Gosh.
Like I’m seeing so SO many bad hands and feet in my old stuff, and just CRINGING because tricks I learned for myself by now?
I give so many pointers and streams and screenshares on discord still to help people with art and it cracks me up?? Like...
I dunno. I’m pretty mediocre tbh, but god damn.
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a bit later I usually am with these, but here’s what I’ve been up to in 2017. While I feel like my improvement isn’t as obvious as ith as been in previous years, I still feel like this was a really good art year for me. I actually did a lot of pieces that I really liked and actually still like months later! that is a completely new sensation for me! I feel like I’m really getting to where I want to be with my art, so hopefully this will continue in 2018.
for the first time I feel like commenting on my choices for this thing, mostly cause I just want to but also in case someone wants to know how I feel about my own art. but because theres a lot of drawings here that’ll continue under the cut
wow I use red and pink/purple hues way more than I thought. anyways.
january - this year I wanted to get better at doing at least somewhat interesting backgrounds (even if it just means a simple colour) and experimenting more with different textures and styles, and I still think this tenten was a good start. I had been wanting to draw something like this with her for ages and I’m glad I finally was able to pull it off.
february - february didn’t really have any drawings that stood out to me, but this month I started drawing a lot more “casual” trek stuff, as in stuff that doesn’t need to have a punchline. I see a lot of problems with it now, but I really liked this seven when I first drew it.
march - again, not a month where I found anything particularly good, but it was the month when I got into night in the woods (still a big fan of it) and this was honestly the best of the nitw art I did.
april - I am pretty sure the demon kankuro was a redraw of an older, shittier demon kankuro I can’t be bothered to find. Its a bit messy and his facial features are off, but I still think theres some nice details and colours. At this point I had also started to use a bit of after effects (the blur around the edges). the 80s ino is part of a konoha girls in vintage clothes thing that admittedly isn’t all that good looking, but it was a lot of fun and probably my favourite outfit drawing.
may - I spent most of this month doing art memes inbetween exams and dying, but this random kankuro somehow found its way in. yeah its not spectacular or anything but it kinda happened on a whim and its not a style of colouring I use very often. I don’t remember what brush I used but I love how it looks. pardon my french but I’m pleased with how this turned out.
june - I moved this month so I’m surprised I had time to draw at all. this sad nog represents my inner turmoil and stress at the time. probably. anyways, I feel like this was the first time I was able to cartoonify a ferengi somewhat successfully. I also finally started toning down my exessive highlighting.
july - I spent most of july stuck in the mountains with no internet, yet somehow I still managed to draw a bunch of shit I still really like. The magical girl temari was the first time I tried to do a combination of solid and blended shading. I’ve had issues with my shading for a long time and I think this was a step in the right direction. It was mainly inspired by how much I liked the solid shading of the other one, which is also the only good drawing I’ve ever done of that oc.
august - what the fuck how did I draw so many things I like in august. For the deanna I just suddenly got the idea to try something art nouveau, and while its not perfect I’m still happy with the result. The hair took forever but I’m still in love with it, and I’ve been incorporating some of those elements into my art ever since. The temari REALLY benefited from solid shading instead of me drowning it in exessive layers of purple like I usually do when I shade. idk what to say, I love it and I genuinely think its one of the coolest things I’ve ever drawn. for the top one I wanted to do something original and different from my usual stuff. The background is a bit messy but I still like the overall result and it has inspired me to draw more casual stuff that doesn’t necessarily need to be posted here.
september - no contest here, the konoha witch series took a lot of time, but I’m still happy with the result.Well for some of them at least. Ino is hands down my favourite and I think its obvious that shes the one I put the most thought and effort into (even though it started with a random sketch of tenten). Apparently I have some kind of bias towards pink and purple, which might explain why I think Ino just ended up with the nicest looking colours out of all the girls.
october - I didn’t have time to do a big halloween piece this year, but this wirt was still pretty halloween-y. the colours turned out better than I expected, especially the shading on his face. The background doesn’t really make sense, but I think it looks nice so ya know, whatever. This was also the first time I watched over the garden wall so this also has some sentimental value I guess.
november - Huevember month! which meant a lot to choose from! the kira I did on the last day of november is honestly my favourite out of all the huevember drawings I did. I don’t do a lot of drawings with the light source in the back, but I think it really worked here. idk I just think the colours and the style look really neat. It feels weird being so positive about my art hah but I don’t have anything I dislike about this one. I do have a few problems with the temari, but I just really like the colours, and I like that I did something interesting with the colours for once in my life. The tilly is in all honesty not a fave of mine, I actually kind of dislike it BUT it did get featured on after trek so I feel like it was a significant part of my ~art year~
december - I’ve had a lot on my mind this month, so sadly I’ve been really inactive here. The elf temari isn’t really all that special, but then again I don’t think its directly bad and I think the colours turned out better than what they usually do when I try shading my lineless art. The other one is a redraw of a drawing I did back in may, and while I (as always) have some problems with it I do think its a big improvement over the old one (which is so ugly that I was genuinely surprised to find that it was drawn...this year).
thank you if you bothered to read all of this! I know this was completely pointless but at the same time I’ve found that artists often hav completely different opinions on their art than others do so there might possibly be something a little bit interesting here. just a tiny bit.
#listen its late as hell im the only one still up and i felt like blathering#summary of art 2017#something happened over summer idk what but from july and onwards ive started to really like my art
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3-3 Reaction
Rules:
Q = Me, Quonit.
BF = Bardic Feline, the friend that made me spend 30 dollars on the game and whom I am messaging
I don’t use those when I send the messages close enough my username doesn’t appear.
Any typos (unless they are funny and part of the conversation) will be fixed.
Index
Q: Got to the next one. Funny name.
Q: Hey this is like the game over thing :0
Q: Didn't even start and I lost already
Q: What did I do wrong Gumshoe
Maya shut up
Q: The hell happened
Q: Crap how and why would anybody dress as me
Q: MAGGIE
YOU HAVE HORRIBLE LUCK
Q: Idea: killer was also phoney me
Q: Wow this place is fancy
GQ: MAGGEY TELL ME ABOUT THE DRAWIN
Q: The fancy place reset :0
OH MY GOD
This place is great
Q: Where the HELL did my magic rock go D:<
I don't see it in my inventory!!!
Q: Oh thank you locks for still appearing
I was very worried a bout it not being in my inventory
FUCK SO IT IS GONE
Q: ...to the park?
Q: Mr what is that red thing on your nose I think you should stop touching it
Q: Doves are usually grey too
Q: Apples are good. Let's talk about that. What is your favorite Apple phoenix? I myself like granny Smith's and pink ladies
Q: Iell I didn't get the old man to talk but it seems the newspaper I got landed Maya a job so
Q: Wow Maya is actually gone. Guess it is time to examine everything again
Q: Well it seems the detention center has reset so that is good
Whatever she isn't here
Office reset
Haha I should really be more upset when Maya leaves
Whatever she is fine
Q: Yay the police station reset!
Gummy!!!
Whatever godot is fun
Q: Of only somebody pointed out one of the many many differences between me and the phoney that trial
Q: Godot I give you passed on a lot of things and I like you but I really wanna know why you hate me
Q: Alright were going back to fancy restaurant
this part was great actually
BF: Hahaha
And then Maya was kidnapped by the effeminate restauranteur, the end
Q: oh hey the restaurant reset. Examine everything?
oh no there is a person here
hell other your head looks like it had been hurt :(
goodbye i guess
HI MAYA
Maya: So how do i look?
Phoenix: ...
Phoenix: I think you should quit being a spirit medium.
yes
let's just take a break and eat food sounds like a plan
i duno if i even have that much on me
oh crap well i guess i am getting lunch
i don't have 50$ on me
Gant can i have 50$
oh ya you're in prison/dead
Q: Maya eat my lunch
dammit maya stop taking my money
COME BACK HERE AND EAT YOUR FOOD
Eh maybe some other random person why enjoy it
Q: examine everything
the magmenta!!!
I missed it so much!!!
it's probably poison
Q: gonna take a break for around 40 minuets
Q: that took so much longer and it is partially my fault
Q: Also I did a stupid redraw of one of Zarla's drawings from like 2007 and it looks good but ack i redrew a thing she drew in 2007. Once i feel like it i'll send a picture
i think we may be done in the kietchen. We got some stuff and it may be important so something somewhere may have reset
hey the police department reset!
yesss gumshoe
present him stuff
Gumshoe is this poison
tell meee
wow that's a lot of money
have to go again
Q: finally back and i have muffins to munch on while I play
Q: i remember this music
this is matt's theme
whatever
to the other rooms
hey the park reset
there is a motercycle here now
STOP SCREAMING
WHY ARE YOU YET
WHY IS HE RED
Hey he said crap woo another close to swearing word
why are there so many weird people in this trian
trial
Q: case
whatever the fuck
im also saying that dipshit isn't phoenix write
OH FUCK
how did nobody suspect anything about him???
and if they did, WHY DID NOBODY SAY ANYTHING?
OLD GUY phoeny me left and i am mad i didn't punch him while i could
Q:
i think they were dressed alright enough
locks woo
i am so glad i have the magmenta back
Q: examine everything?
at least there aren't as many rooms
Q: got back to game and decided to see if i can break the locks
Q: i wiiiiin
Q: MIA
OH MY GOD
she is using her boobs to her advantage
i forgot her completly now
*forgive
MIA I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID I THANK YOU VERY MUCH
Q: Phoenix she is giving up her dignity for you thank her don't judge her
Q: time to move
wooo it reset
Q: iii wiiiin
noooo phoenix this guy can't be the killer
it's that moron red skinned phoenix impersonating asshole >:(
SHIT GODOT
NO
STOP
I AM WINNING GO AWAY
Q: i usually give you passed but not now GO AWAY
Q: that red dude might've put the winning tcken in her pocket when he ran off
i hate red guy
save music
GUMSHOE
Q: well judge, THAT GUY WAS A FAKE FROM HELL
aw he called me trusty
BF: Lol Tigre? XD
quonit-aceattorney
yes
we didn't learn his name yet
Q: but i am amusing that is his name now
BF: Ooooh sorry
Q: it is fine i don't think it was a big spoiler
BF: Yeah Hahaha, he’s not exactly subtle
Q: WHY DID NOBODY QUESTION HIM
he was probably too intimidating but really one person had to right?
"MY OCCUPATION IS DICK GUMSHOE"
BF: Lol think of this whole case as like...one of those old Saturday morning cartoon plots where the good guy gets a really really obvious double
Q: pffft
BF: Like the double has bolts sticking out of their neck and they constantly yell about how evil they are
Q: i can imagine this.
BF: And yet you still have that scene where they are standing side by side and all the good guys are like HOWEVER WILL WE TELL THEM APART
Which one is the real one how can we be suuuure
That’s basically what this case is, haha
Q:
hehe
stoooooop
Q: I wonder who in the end will get to use the ticketyQ: maggey didn't do it mr tigre didQ: HE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THE BLOODSTAIN JUDGE GUY.
I say this like it was obvious and makes sense to anybody in the game
stupid spoiler i pretend is a headcanon keeps proving itself to be true
Q:
Phoenix: You don't need to be told! Just look at it!
SHUT UP PHOENIX >:( THIS GAME WANTS ME TO BELIEVE A STUPID HEADCANON.
whatever let's ignore that and get back to figuring out the bloodstain. sry godot
no there is other stuff
LIKE THAT TIGRE GUY
Q:
Phoenix: Is it possible that somebody could've put the bottle in her pocket?
Me: YES
Gumshoe: ya! Happens to me all of the time!
Me: REALLY
well if i had my phoeny's profile i would but nope sorry godot no evidence yet
Q:
Everyone: :talking about old man guy throwing seeds:
Godot: Hah! It was nothing. I caught every single one of them with my teeth!
impressive. DO YOU HAVE EVIDENCE FOR THIS CLAIM???
Q: i mean empty bags can have meaning why not?Q: well the stuff inside the bag was empty
hey that worked!
nice im cool now
Q: no he didn't put his medication in, red guy didQ: BUT WOO i am winningQ: we all died a little bit inside
maggey he was doing what he was supposed to do and was relying on me to figure out what was wrong with it. he didn't do anything.
Q: old guy tell us your occupationQ: don't lie that she put something in it
IT'S 2019 IN THE GAME NOW YOU SHOULD GET USED TO IT
also wasn't he looking at a sports paper right he was listening to the radio right
Q:
Phoenix: Did she really put that in there??
Phoenix you know not to trust this guy he is wrong she didn't
Q: MR I DON'T THINK THIS COUNTS AS "WASTING". I MEAN HE DIED AFTER TAKING A SIP.
Q:
Phoenix: Congratulations. You have earned the title of Battiest Man To Grace A Courtroom.
I love sarcastic phoenix
Q:
Phoenix: Anybody could've word that outfit! Even me!
Judge: Mr.Wright please spare the court of any further mental anguish from that image
hahahahaha
Q: the bow was blue but whatever. also that is still part of the outfit.
the bow was ORANGE
EDGEWORTH IS PURPLE AND THE BOW IS ORANGE NOT RED.
I DON'T CARE IF THE GAME SAYS OTHERWISE IM RIGHT
Q:
Old guy: This is harassment!
I mean what are you doing?
REALLY
Q: how about the apron? Like the godamn bloodstainQ: doing lots of stuff in game i should document it moreQ: coffee cupQ: it woooorked
LEFT HANDS AND RIGHT HANDS
ALWAYS LOOK OUT FOR THAT
IT IS A VERY COMMON THING IN THIS SERIES
now you have to sing. sing for us now.
who cars about your age dammit
respect the coffee kudo
the eye lense is TEAL NOT GREEN
UGH THIS GAME CAN'T GET ITS COLORS RIGHT
Q: AND SOMEHOW POINTING THAT OUT GOT ME A WIN
and his ear whatever but i still win
Q: HE IS SINGING THE PIDGEON SONG AND EATING THE BIRDSEEDS WOOO I WINQ: back to investigation?
no?
okay
Q: but godot finished his coffee! How can we continue now???Q: but he didn't knock over the vase? look at the photo he didn'tQ: your memory is completly unreliable
goooooddbyyyyyyeee
Q: think i can be done for nowQ: game because working is dumbQ: let's bring up that jerk again why not
RED GUY WHY DID YOU DO THAT
Q: Maya: Introduce me next time, Nick! I wanna meet Xin Eohp too!
no
Q: to the detention center
dammit
nvm then
hey gumshoe!
Q: don't be sad gumshoe there are still lots of people that love you and maggey will probably be fine with you againa fter this is overQ: dont lie to me gumshoe i can ee right through it
unless it's in court
the locks don't work in court
i win
Q: Maya: I wanna try it!
Phoenix: Then buy a ticket! With your own money!
See Phoenix is smart
Q: no im not going tot the park i don't wanna see him right now i wanna talk to gumshoeQ: 2019: The year of gumQ: SEE GODOT KNEW THAT THAT GUY WAS A FAKE AND HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO SEE HIM FOR THAT
GODOT WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ANYBODY
Q: nniiiiice we can go visit his work nowQ: what do you mean the color of your coat looks more detective-y
also im still confused about if franz sent back the coat and kept the evidence or if gumshoe just got a new coat.
to blue screens because i don't wanan see red guy
wtf is with her
Q: I would say this isn't 2019 but i have no right to say that yet because i have never lived in 2019Q: at least she is letting me examine evidence
Trigre >:(
future from 2004 or future from 2019
Q:
Phoenix: Computers are only as smart as the humans who use and make them are
...you know nothing...
Q: im about done here
to the park
Q: the scooter is backQ: well he isnt here that is fine
oh hey that girl is here
is she threatening to kill him or
Q: great so tiger is also involved in not only impersonating me, but also killing glen, and this guy's money problem
to the office
gumshoe you just left go to your meeting
Q: well im headed to where i was going again
hi girl again
imma go touch the desk
Q: of course it's the same color as my suit he used it to pretend to be meQ: HI TIGRE
WHAT DO YOU WANT
Q: well at least i can talk to her now
no maya
Q: if you want coffee just ask godotQ: im to go look in other placesQ: see mr kudo is giving us information it's a ll good
Q:
Phoenix: maybe he's trying to avoid us?"
It always feels that way when i try to find somebody in this game and they aren't there. None of them have ever been trying to avoid me but i guess if you think that that guy is trying to avoid you he is
hey maggey is back
Q: i have the cd~
Q: took a minute to fix the sound
why am i How-aceattourney
stupid tumblr
BF: TumbllllllrrrrrQ: oh ya the creepy womanQ: and she wont react to the profile so i guess im gonna leave now
wonder what is going on at this police station
Q: more game.
oh ya i was stuck
hmmm
go talk to people and investigate things
oh ya i still have gumshoe's lunchbox
Q: i know you're mad at him but pls
:shows paper badge: oh hey is that your badge
WOW DOES MY BADGE REALLY LOOK THAT SHITTY
Q: ALSO DON'T BITE MY BADGE >:( AND IF IT LEAVES TEETH MARKS IT IS REAL.Q: dammit no new conversation topics
wonder if something else updated though
niiice the police department! I doubt that anything will be there though
how much does that guy at the desk get paid
GUMSHOE :D
oh damn that sounds bad. Wonder if it is from a specific somebody i hate or his girlfriend
Q: it's obvious what lady mayaQ: I was gonna ask what computer virus but asking what one is is dumb
though this did some out in 2004...
nah still unacceptable. This is taking place in 2019.
GUMSHOE HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT ONE IS
it's 2019 guys get with the times
Q: so much of this game has already happened i feel so uncomfortable now that this is taking place in the future
OH THEY'RE MAKING FUN OF ME OKAY
still bad but
and not only that they're more scary when they are attacking the POLICE
i mean mr.godot is a highly specific example but sure if i was sick and sneezed on him he might get sick too
oh so they are using that specific example to make fun of me again har har so funny guys
Q: OH SO THE GUY MADE A VIRUS
WELL SCREW THE VITIM IM HAPPY HE DIED
he probably had a reason for it but i don't believe it
Q: ya that family sounds dumb we should arrest themQ: i am angry right now
more stupid last names
ya guess who im going to stand up to
IM BRAVE
IM STRONG
I THINK IM PRETTY ACCOMPLISHED
I'VE RUINED SOME PRETTY EVIL PEOPLE'S LIVES
IF THESE GUYS ARE EVIL I WILL TAKE THEM ON
IF THEY AREN'T EVIL I WILL TAKE THEM ON
I AM NOT SCARED TO MAKE BOLD CLAIMS LIKE THIS
Q: oh uhhhh maggey still hates you and we had to eat them. Sorry dude... how about you go do something that will make you happyQ: eh if anything goes wrong and she doesn't eat them we can just threaten her with a gun. Always does the trick for me.Q: when did maggey leave whatQ: well i need to sleep now. Lost again but im lost at a different point
Q: "I'll stop spamming you now"
:opens Ace Attorney:
Just trying to get unstuck i don't think much will happen, only got 30 mins
lets see where am i
don't think i can get any locks but i don't think there is much harm in trying
can't break one lets look for another
Q: im still stuck imma go try againQ: found a thing in my inventory i think this is important
I love my magic rock
:00000 it worked
well ya your dad is the stupid c long name thing so of course that has to do with you
oh hey i broke a lock
from the looks of that cutscene that looks like mr tigre
one more lock
Q: I BROKE IT
WOOOO I AM UNSTUCK
Q: she crying :(Q: ugh no room is updating
i need to get the other locks i bet
Q: i win. That was easier than thoughtQ: why are we discarding so much stuff
:o a room reset
DAMMIT TIGRE GO AWAY
i swear if he tazes me
SO HE PUNCHED ME
I'm done with people assaulting me in some way and then taking my evidence
GUMSHOE
Q: GUMSHOE
SAAAAVE MEEEEE
thank you gumshoe
that improved my opinion of him greatly. There was nothing negitive but now there is more love to give
Did phoenix even every tell anybody about that time von karma tazed him and ran off with the letter
alright i need to sleep and there is a savepoint. yay! Also! GUMSHOE SAVED ME!
Q:
haha
at least he is dead and his daughter is better
alright i am sleeping now
Q: I can't sleep sadly
Not because I am too tired but for other reasons. I'll keep playing
MAGGEY do you think I can predict ANYTHING that will happen in a trial at all
I'm only play because of how Gumshoe saved my butt back there
Hey Gumshoe :D I am forever in your debt because of what you did back there
Q: Looks like we found the medicationQ: Oh ya I forgot about GodotQ: (He just called the judge a loser)Q: Oh so that guy will testify. One of the people who almost helped with the repeat of what happened with the letterQ: OH now I know he is covering up the existence of tigerQ: Phoenix your cover up swears suckQ: This game is so obsessed with left and right being contradictionsQ: How dare Godot say I shouldn't existQ: Playing a bunch not saying much though
I am Winning and godot is still making weird metaphors
Q: LOUD RUMBLEQ: I hope I can make tigre suffer
Save point. I think I can sleep now
Q: maya just because tigre is coming to the stand doesn't mean we are gonna win
gumshoe!!!
Q: well usually we have no idea what the trump card is
(fuckin letter)
Q: sense when have I lost a case?
Making matt guilty isn't loosing
making him fuck off was the true prize i won that
back to trial
Judge do not be intimidated. He's like 9 feed below you.
Q:
Tigre: WHO DA HELL CALLED ME TO DIS HOLE WAS IT YOU
Phoenix: No it was the Judge
Judge: :hides:
Q:
Godot: :makes Tigre shut up:
Phoenix: T... Too cool...
hahaha
Q:
Tigre: That lowlife ain't no lawyer! He just punches away at stupid details til he wins!
i feel called out
okay so question: People hate 2-3 so much and one of the reasons is Moe's testimony but there are SO MANY THINGS IN THIS 3RD GAME LIKE THAT
Q: not only that but this game is a lot more vague on "hey hey you were supposed to do this you are on the right track"
Q:
Godot: I hear it can be pretty hard to set up appointments when you're dead
BF: hahaha I think 3 tends to get forgiven most because the overall plot is VERY well constructed. Also I think the alleged hate against 2 is overblown. 2-4 is such a beloved case after all
but you'll see what I mean about overall plot in a bit.
4 tries like HELL to do what 3 did, I think, but it gets tripped up a lot along the way.
(and yes 3 is hard. I'd say the only thing it does that's more forgiving that 2 is that IIRC, it doesn't penalize you for screwing up Magatama sessions.)
Last Friday at 11:31 PM
Q: ahhh alright. I'll be waiting for the 3 plot. Also it doesn't get mad at your for screwing up magatama sessions?? I have not noticed such a thing.Q: but he was there because 1 other people say he was and 2 why else would that guy tell him to go thereQ: problem with having so much evidence is that i can't remember what is what and what proves what or that it even existsQ: oh hey these matchesQ: HUH
wooo
wooo it worked
oh boy more things that are very close to swearing from him
Q: so many things wrong with this next testamony
WHICH ONE DOES THE GAME WANT ME TO DISPROVE
Q: heeeey it workedQ: I am winning :DQ: it's the tigre guy obviously >:( He impersinates a lot of people
phoenix hiding under his desk
Q: obviously it was that girl
internet not working dammit
WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOBODY COULD PULL OFF A STUNT LIKE THAT THERE HAVE BEEN WEIRDER THINGS
:Shows paper badge:
Judge: It is an insult to think anybody could be fooled by that
well then maybe you should reevaluate your life choices
guuuuumshoooooeeeee
where are you man
YESSSS GUMSHOE IS BACK
THANK YOU DUDE I WAS WAITING
GUMSHOE YOU ARE GREAT NEVER PUT YOURSELF DOWN YOU ARE VERY USEFUL AND WE ALL LOVE YOU
heeey maaaggggeeyyyyy can you cheer gumshoe up for me he's being sad
quonit-aceattorney
OH SO YOU KNOW HOW THE BOTTLE LOOKS DO YOU :)
WELL I WIN!
he yells
hahahahaha glowey mask thing hahahaha
oh fuck you stop throwing coffee at me
why do you hate me so much i am not a criminal
hey gumshoe i won!!!
maybe maggey can be happy now
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