fuck it, kaeang is getting a fic

I can't keep being fundamentally changed as a person by animated movies, it's just not sustainable.

A scene from this fic by @katherynefromphilly !!

i love how cdramas are like "we have assembled a collection of hot actors and dressed them in glorious, dubiously historical outfits that are not even in the same zipcode as 'restraint'. we have then gone completely ham with the buckets of fake blood. the color grading is SO SATURATED and we have let that slow-mo cam LINGER on those dramatic strides and that long hair blowing in the breeze. does it even matter what the plot is at this point??"

kiss the pain away

saw @chez-cinnamon's absolutely BANGER butterfly!Howdy design and couldn't resist! two fluffy flutterbyes <3 solidarity

i'm still so disappointed that potd wasn't a bodyswap episode. think about it. think about it. the master turns on the machine. the machine suddenly stops and the doctor stumbles out. "everything is fine," she says. "the master's plan, it didn't work!" yaz believes this because her faith in the doctor is so absolute that she believes that the doctor would just magically not be affected by the master's plan. they fly off in the tardis together as the doctor smiles. the camera lingers on her smile for just a moment too long. over the next few scenes, as they deal with the cybermen or whatever, it becomes increasingly obvious that this is not the doctor. the things she says, the actions she takes, hell, even her simplest mannerisms aren't hers. and yaz realizes. they're the master's. his plan did work. he lied to her, and now she's in real danger. yaz having to defeat the master somehow while they wear the face of a person she adores, commandeering the tardis from them, and going back to the machine room. and there's the doctor, the real doctor, in the master's body. together they figure out how to reverse the effects and swap back again, but something went wrong. the forced regeneration was too much stress on the doctor's body, and now she's regenerating for real. as she realizes this, yaz looks at the doctor and realizes she will never truly be able to trust the her again because of how the master lied to her, and asks to be taken home.

just think about it. yaz having an actual reason to leave other than the doctor going "bye now!" giving thirteen a reason to regenerate that wasn't "hit by large, slow moving beam". not to mention that whittaker and dhawan playing each other's characters would be so fucking delicious. chibnall i will never forgive you for this absolute waste of an opportunity

Mal's Avatar: The Last Airbender rewatch: The Fortuneteller 1.14

'' Keep your head on a swivel.''

In love with the idea of captain marvel being Billy's imaginary friend. Like, it'd be so easy. Early depictions had them as almost fully separate people sometimes, like one soul with two minds, rather than just two filters like we mostly see now.

But imagine a Billy down on his luck, hurt and hiding from police and criminals alike, daydreaming the hours away as children do, taking inspiration from all the superheroes rising to fame, making little stories to play out his dreams of saving the world with a generic action doll he found while dumpster diving once. Most of the paint's rubbed off.

Red's his favourite colour, his comfiest jumper is a bright ruby even after all the grime and washes. Gold, too, it's shiny and warmer than silver! A hero cape is a must, big and eye catching! And he can fly, of course, like superman, and in his daydreams, when he's sore and frustrated after a long day's grind, his superhero is smart enough and knows all the right words to get the bullies to stop without resorting to fighting.

His superhero fantasy is one he spends a lot of time on, the first one he goes for when struggling to sleep at night, and he can picture it so clearly. Captain marvel is big and bright and kind, strong enough to lift the boxes for the old lady up the road who's moving all by himself, fast enough to catch Jamie who fell out of the tree on Saturday and broke his leg and couldn't come to class for weeks. He appears at the entrance to alleys when Billy is cornered, he steps up behind to cover for him when he gets caught shoplifting, he sits at the bus stop with him when it's pouring rain and the right bus doesn't seem to be coming.

And then the wizard comes, or rather whisks him away, and like a magician from a fairytale breathes life into his imaginary friend until Billy feels thrice his size and a million times more invincible.

From then on, captain marvel is a real hero, just like Billy is a real boy, and as one they save the whole city, and then the whole world, and get cats down from trees and help Mrs Victoria move the last of her boxes and she gives them a pinch in the cheek and cookies for the road and sometimes it hurts but it's so much better than he imagined.

wait WAIT I'VE GOT IT

THEY SHOULD DO THE ZELDA MOVIE LIKE THE PRINCESS BRIDE WHERE IT'S A GRANDPA TELLING THE STORY TO HIS GRANDKID

oh yeah enjoy this meme i made to send to my friend group the other day

If anyone wants to know why the kingdom hearts fandom has a lot of bad takes and everything in that regard just know it's all kh2's fault

Kh2 is the reason why everyone thinks the disney worlds are filler, why people think Sora "fell off" after kh2, why people think the series is just cool anime stuff but with disney characters, and why people think Kairi still has relevance all cause she has a keyblade (/hj about the Kairi point but also not really)

The games that came after kh2 aren't held in as high of a regard cause everyone expected the future games to be like kh2 when they're very clearly not. Most of the kh3 criticism I saw basically boiled down to "this should have happened like it did in kh2"

Every game after kh2 is doomed to be compared to kh2 like how every final fantasy game after ff7 is doomed to be compared to ff7 cause of how it popped off the way it did

Imo kh2 more or less essentially ruined everyone's perception of what kh is and is also one of the biggest examples of showing the dissonance between what the fans want to see vs the story Nomura wants to tell and that dissonance gets stronger with each game

Kh2 was the turning point in the series that basically told everyone that the story wasn't going the way they think it would go and it completely went over everyone's heads and I think that needs to be talked about

Anyway moral of the story is stop skipping kh cutscenes. That's why y'all confused and why y'all don't know things. If I see any kh4 criticism that sounds like "it should be like kh2" I'll bitchslap you to the moon I've had enough of the comparisons

In Stars And Time? More like In Ace And Gender

+ some alts

I'm a little too obsessed with SeekL and I've been thinking about it constantly, so here's an odxny character analysis, slight game analysis and a personal review ordered in a numbered list <3 Spoilers for the game, of course!

Design

Personally, I love odxny's design, and I think it's really cute how his mask changes to reflect his emotions. But to analyze it further, his mask is a representation of his guarded nature and his loneliness. At his core, odxny struggles with two conflicting desires: a desire to connect with others, and a desire to simply give up and save himself from the heart ache of failed connection by isolating himself. The mask lends anonymity, and this anonymity gives him both protection (from interacting with others) and restriction (prevents him from getting closer to anyone). Additionally, it represents how odxny uses his identity as a "hacker" as a form of protection from the rest of the world.

I think odxny's hoodie also reflects this! He has two layers to his outfit: a button-up shirt, and a hoodie on top. The hoodie is casual, and the button-up shirt hints at something more "serious", once again reflecting the duality of his desires and his personality (ie he's guarded, he has difficulty with connecting with others, the hoodie is a feigned casualness over a more serious loneliness). The button-up also is buttoned all the way up his neck, once again reflecting a closed-off nature.

Also, I don't have analytical thoughts on them, but the way the strings are tied is very cute! Super cute! The fact one hoodie string is a loop and the other is thrown carelessly over his shoulder makes me wonder if they're supposed to represent binary code (0 and 1)!

2. Names and Relationships

So, within the game's server, the nicknames of each character are randomized, and the resulting nicknames don't follow typical naming conventions. Additionally, odxny is never named within the game outside of his server nickname. I think this decision regarding names serves to illustrate the game's themes of isolation and connecting with others. The randomized nicknames strip an element of personalization in the server, while simultaneously providing anonymity.

Names are a signifier of our identity. This decision to take away the ability to name ourselves (as the player character) and for the other characters to name themselves serves to anonymize and depersonalize each character, which also furthers the isolation of each character. But this isolation seems to affect odxny most prominently, as he has the most hang-ups when it comes to loneliness (I will get into this part of his character in the next two sections).

Part of the choice with the naming conventions also reflects the general attitude and relationships of every character within the server. They aren't friends, even if they enjoy each other's company; there's a clear purpose to their relationships with a set end time (they will all go their separate ways once they fulfill their respective hacking goals). I would argue that while the other characters are okay with going their separate ways, it's this precise pattern of coming and going and non-lasting relationships that odxny is so tired of, and which drives him to physically isolate himself from society.

Additionally, before the player character arrives, each character implies they've never really revealed personal information about themselves to each other. The relationships between each character is cut and dry, and this further highlights odxny's isolation, even when he's with other people whose company he clearly enjoys. The difference between the other server member's and odxny's attitudes towards relationships serve as excellent foils to each other!

3. Lyrics

The theme song actually captures a lot of odxny's character beats, while providing great insight into him, which is really impressive! A lot of the lyrics point to the tension between his internal loneliness and his desire for connection— how he wants to "feel anything at all" and is trying to "Grind to find a way out of this hell / Used to be so confident but now I can’t tell." This is very telling of his desire to escape his circumstances through any means possible, but the particular way he chooses to do this is through hacking/his work with code. Odxny relies on hacking/coding to provide meaning for his life; it seems to be something he clings to because he no longer feels like he has anything else, which is why his apartment is so barren save for wires and electronic equipment. Perhaps he used to be more sure of himself/his goals, but the further he continues with his plans, the more conflicted he feels. Is this really what he wants to do? But if not, what other options are open to him?

Additionally, the lyrics also points to the distance he keeps from others on purpose, and a line of self-destructive thinking: "I'm stuck in a loop like lines of code/ Seeking a future that I don't even know/ Burn it down to face it alone.” He feels isolated and alone, and the only way he sees out of this cycle is just to leave everything behind. He's stuck running in circles, where nothing feels fulfilling; he can't even see a potential future, and the idea of "burning it all down" seems to hint at his desire to break out by essentially self-destructing and running away. But even then, he'll still "face it alone," so it's not a true solution to his predicament. Yet, this stanza ends with "still find myself reaching out for the phone." Despite the fact he’s decided on leaving everything behind and has given up interacting with other people, he still longs for genuine connection. At the same time, he knows the connection won’t last, which drives him further into his loneliness.

There's a dichotomy apparent in the last few stanzas: "They'll never know of me just that I've won/ That's how I operate and what I've done/ Thought you’d only know me for my voice / Never thought that leaving you would be the harder choice." In the first half, you have the confidence and purpose that hacking gives to odxny; yet, it can also be read as the way he interacts with relationships. He's fallen into a specific pattern with interacting with others, one that he doesn't believe can be changed. Yet, the second half of the stanza reveals how he's been shaken by the player character. Here's someone who he could share a genuine connection with, even though he never intended to be close to them.

Even the chorus (which is EXTREMELY catchy) reinforces this with a “I wish that I could give a damn/ Taking all your money like Uncle Sam/ I wish that I could give a fuck / I’m tryna balance out but feelin stuck.” It's a clear distillation of how odxny balances between the confident hacker facade and his genuine feelings of loneliness and feeling "stuck" and being unable to sort out his own feelings.

4. Character

The crux of Odxny's character is centered around connection and isolation. Robobarbie reveals as much in the dev log, where they mention they and the other writer, Allie, also drew on personal experiences to craft the character. So, I'd like to analyze a little more what I think this isolation entails. Odxny's isolation results from both circumstances both in person and online, both which feed into each other. A lot of his in-person circumstances captures the loneliness of being an adult, of drifting away from others and then the difficulty of finding new connections again. In fact, there's some articles online about the current loneliness epidemic within America, which odxny feels like a consequence of.

Making new connections is made both easier and more difficult in the digital age. It's a double-edged sword, because there are millions of people you can talk to online, and yet, this broad scope can increase the feelings of alienation. There are so many people out there, and yet you’re close to none. Technology exacerbates this sense of loneliness, and technology is also what both restricts and frees odxny. I would guess that a lot of the people he connects with is through coding/hacking (whether positive or negative), but it's a fleeting connection.

I’ve reiterated it throughout this analysis, but I will say it again here for emphasis: odxny has given up on connecting with other people. He tries to set himself apart from them and keeps a measured distance, yet connection is also something he desires above all else and the cause of his pain. This also ties into some of odxny's actions: a way to protect himself from vulnerability is by keeping his distance from others. After all, he can’t get hurt if he doesn’t let himself get close to others. And yet, this same the same distance also hurts him. In order to negotiate this contradiction, he has to try to convince himself this is what he really wants, that it's for the best, that all other choices are fruitless.

It’s why he only gives surface level protests against the player character’s involvement with his life; he genuinely wants someone to convince him otherwise. He wants to have a person in his life who cares about him enough to change his mind and to say that running away from society and isolating himself permanently isn't the right choice. What makes this work is that the player character is insistent, and isn't deterred by odxny's half-hearted attempts to distance himself. In a way, pushing back against the player allows odxny to reinforce to himself that this is someone who cares about him and wants him around, which in turn allows him to admit that he wants to connect with others, despite how painful it could end up being.

5. Personal Review

What I love this game is that there is a hint of a romance-- there is only one romance option, but there is no explicit confession, only hints of flirtation here and there. I love the focus is on the mini-game (which is genuinely super fun), and the interactions we get to experience with all the different characters. The dialogue is snappy, witty and real, and each character is distinct and given enough dimension that interacting with them feels like talking to people you would find in a server or a forum. The fact that they can be mean to you is great-- it feels realistic, and it's just something I personally love and find more interesting than if characters simply fawn over the player character all the time.

I love that it feels like a meeting of different people who aren’t sad to see each other leave-- they have a clear purpose in coming together, and there are no hard feelings at parting. It feels natural, and a bit bittersweet-- and part of this is how it feels like the server is a representation of odxny's unhealthy habits. When he's able to let go of the server, it feels like letting go of the past. Additionally, it's poignant because as someone who feels numb by all the partings he's had to experience, it's a sign of growth that he's willing to it let go and let things end without fear. He's able to be more open and vulnerable with the other server members by the end, and can admit he enjoyed their company, because he has some measure of hope in the future and faith in other people again. Regardless if he chooses to keep in contact with you, what's important is that he changes his mind about running away from it all in both good endings.

I love the subtle possibilities of the ending, as well: whatever path his relationship with the player character takes, what’s most important is that he’s receptive to opening up to others again. This is a story about love, but it’s a story about loving other people and connecting with them, about caring for strangers and caring about yourself. I, personally, find this more compelling than a straightforward romantic dynamic, because at the end of the day, this is odxny’s story about trying again to reach out to other people, no matter how hopeless and lonely things feel at the moment.

I just want to catch a glimpse of Pluto. It can't be seen with the naked eye. But we know it's there. Just like our love.

Namtan Tipnaree and Film Rachanun in PLUTO