i need to figure out what the hell’s going on with my tags

Hi everyone, just wanted to address what happened last night along with some other things from before that all tie in together.

There’s multiple parts to the following post - please make sure you read all of it if you’re gonna take the time to even start.

It was midnight and y'all were still jumping in on anon and telling me how I'm awful for not commenting, owning up, or taking responsibility - I should have been in bed. I have a life and job outside this app; and with the several of you in my inbox and it being too late at night to address each, I’m gonna do it now. I can’t not say something about all of this. I just can’t keep quiet and ignore the problem - it’s not fair to you all. Deleting one post already has you guys even more riled up and all I wanted to do was offer something better than a “half-hearted apology” (it was very late at night when I wrote that very short apology, and wanted a redo tbh). 

I really didn't want to make a long post like this. I reached out to a select few on here because I care about them (there's more of you, but like I said, it was at the time after midnight and I was fucking exhausted). but I was being demanded for accountability. So here I am.

Allow me to be real with you all, if that's ok. If it's not, well, idk. First I wanna address all you anons, who, instead of speaking to me one on one about all this, want to criticize me and shame me and my writing when truthfully it feels like you haven't even read more than a handful of my work. I didn’t realize that I write the clones all the same way? That I always make them super aggressive and uncaring and dom? “you write every single clone as so dominant instead as unique individual men with their own personalities” Interesting. See, that right there tells me you haven't read nearly enough of my stuff for me to believe that's true. That's one accusation I absolutely will not back you on because I know it’s inaccurate - saying how I group the clones into some overly-aggressive, and uncaring category - that I always write all of them as mean in bed because they're men of color. And hey, if I do write rough smut - which yeah, it's out there and I write it, as do a lot of you - there are warnings at the beginning, aftercare, dialogue, reader sharing their feelings, and most importantly... consent between the two. That’s what warnings are for, so that you know what you’re going to be reading. That’s why I, as we all do, appreciate warnings listed at the tops of fics; honestly, write them sub or dom or switch or however you want but don’t come at me like that. I’m sorry if I'm coming across as rude because I'm usually not, I’m one of the nicest people you’ll meet, but I will not stand idly by while you chastise my writing (writing that is pretty much the same type of stuff a lot of you write & rb with the same characters) that you haven’t read enough of to back such claims.

Next: Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart,

I get it. Really, I do. I fully understand the problem of whitewashing in SW along with almost everywhere else, and I do not agree with it. It's a huge problem, and it needs to be rectified. Now just because I don't speak publicly about it and opt out of publicly shaming TBB, doesn't mean that I agree with what’s going on. Not everyone is comfortable with sharing their opinions on a subject, no matter what that subject is or which side they're on. You live and you learn when it comes to that. 

It has never been my intention to fetishize POC in my writing, which btw, the same people who are saying that it is my intention are the ones claiming I portray all of the clones as the same, aggressive men, lacking their individuality. It’s a claim that is simply not true, and I know I have followers on here to back me up on that. I know what I've written; how about you check it out and tell me that you don't see the words "soft" or "fluff" or "cuddling" or “gentle” or “tender” within my work linked in my ML. Clone character being a good partner and father? Tender love making? Holding each others faces in their hands? “We/you survived” sex? Taking care of their partner? Saying “I love you” to one another? Confirming the safe word and going slow at first? Oh my - riveting and harsh stuff - totally unacceptable.  

Now: My admittedly problematic writings of Rex + Zygerria,

I went into writing that rp fic totally unaware and unknowing of the true implications. For that, I sincerely apologize. When I posted the NSFW alphabet, that’s when I was called out on that rp fic - not when I first posted it. Which the timeline doesn’t matter, I know that, but it concerns me a little bit that no one spoke up about it sooner - letting me dig myself deeper into a hole that I didn’t realize I was inside of in the first place. I've apologized once, and I know that doesn't negate what happened; I acknowledged my mistake back then, but I suppose that wasn’t good enough. I had asked you, anon, to message me to give me guidance, to teach me on what to do about the fic - you stayed hidden. Well, respectfully, what the fuck? I know we're all adults but don't lecture me and avoid me when I’d literally reached out for guidance on how to properly rectify the issue. I fixed my wording in some of my fics (the things I’ve caught upon rereading them) because I recognized and more importantly learned about and from my mistakes along with the unintentional negative implications of how I wrote those characters. Some of y'all wanna tell me that I "haven't learned"? Who are you, my personal blog police? My professor? My life coach? Are you even my friend? If I'm wrong and haven't learned, then fucking educate me. I worked hard on that rp fic, just like I do with a majority of what I write, but it doesn’t matter because I will delete it knowing that it’s harmful to others and I apologize for inadvertently romanticizing slavery with what I wrote - it was unintentional, and I’m truly sorry to those who have been hurt by it. I know it’s wrong, and there’s no proper excuse for it. Can’t go back in time, but consider it gone now.

Since that first wakeup call, I’ve been working hard to ensure I avoid using certain words and ideas when describing the clones in my fics. If there’s still something you see that isn’t correct or is inappropriate, please tell me! Don’t hold it in but then jump on the “attack M” bandwagon. Private message me, or come peacefully off or on anon, there will be no hard feelings. I don’t mind being corrected when I make a mistake - that’s just part of life, we all make mistakes and we live and learn from them. Making mistakes doesn’t = scumbag human. When you hold your breath and choose not to take the time to guide me, and if I appear to still be making the same mistakes, well, idk. I’m telling you right now that I do not mind if you message me with the good intention of pushing me in the right direction. When you come at me with hostility on anon, well, no thank you. To the anons that came without rage: thank you! I read what you wrote, and I have a better understanding as to how my writing had hurt the lovely followers of mine, and tried to address as much as possible in this post. See, angry mob anons? It costs zero credits to be kind and offer up your thoughts and advice with a good heart. I’m not going to hate you or block you if you try to correct me. I don’t block unless you’re a snoopin’ minor. Just don’t hold a knife to my throat.

Now: Why did I delete the tags and then my response to that anon ask? 

Simply put: I felt awful. Deleting it doesn’t immediately mean I’m hiding from it and ignoring the issue. I wanted to come up with a better apology, explanation, whatever you wanna call it, because my followers deserve that. The ones who enjoy my work, the ones who interact, the ones who I call my friends, the ones who know that I’m a good person. Didn’t want to leave the tags/post floating around all night, giving more people time to sharpen their pitchforks and join the mob while I attempted to sleep. Trust me, I know saying that I had no ill intentions when tagging that post doesn’t make it better nor does it make it go away. I’m just trying to show you my point of view, that I knew immediately how I should not have tagged it that way, so that’s why I deleted them. I corrected my mistake. But y’all are too fucking quick I swear.

One more thing:

I know some of you who had called me out with the passive-aggressive inbox messages are still following me, and for what? You don’t like what I post, which is why one would follow another in the first place, so why bother sticking around? Do you feel like you need to police my blog? You want to be there the literal minute I make a mistake? I’m gonna turn off anon for a bit, so if you wanna discuss, message me. Just know that if you’re going to come at me with knives out, I probably won’t reply to you. 

To conclude:

I’m sorry. Truly sorry for the entire Rex + Zygerria outfit + slaver ordeal with both the fic from a while ago and then the tags from last night. We can’t go back in time; the only option is to correct past mistakes that are able to be corrected, and then move on with new knowledge that’ll aid in me working even harder to ensure my writing isn’t inappropriate or offensive, and doesn’t hurt my followers nor the characters I write for. I’m still going to write self-indulgent filth and fluff, post-order 66 Rex, and other misc shit. I enjoy writing fanfic, as I know a lot of you enjoy reading what I write and love to talk to me about it. I hope that this didn’t come off as me being a bitch, because I’m really not. I enjoy interacting with the handful of people on here that I’d call my friends, and I love reading your reactions and tags to my fics when you��re excited and/or horny (LOL). It’s just after lunch time where I’m at, so I hope you have a great rest of the day/night/morning whatever for wherever you are.  

<3 

M

ALL OF THEMMMMM .... mwahaha

1. Are looks important in a relationship?I think they are, you have to be physically attracted to your partner I think2. Are relationships ever worth it?Depends on the relationship mostly. I'd say mine is3. Are you a virgin?No4. Are you in a relationship?Yes5. Are you in love?It's kinda hard for me to actually fall in love, but it's happened before and I'm sure it'll happen again6. Are you single this year?No :)7. Can you commit to one person?Yes definitely8. Describe your crushBrown hair, big brown eyes, shorter than me, adorable smile, hilarious, extremely smart, motivated, takes charge when necessary, doesn't take shit from anyone9. Describe your perfect mateI don't believe in "soul mates" or stuff like that10. Do you believe in love at first sight?No11. Do you ever want to get married?I think so yeah12. Do you forgive betrayal?Kind of13. Do you get jealous easily?Slightly, yes14. Do you have a crush on anyone?Yes my girlfriend15. Do you have any piercings?Nope16. Do you have any tattoos?Nope17. Do you like kissing in public?Yes but not a ton. Not a huge fan of PDA20. Do you shower every day?Every other, it's better for your hair and skin21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?I'd hope so 🤔22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?Probably not, probably focused on studying23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?Duh?24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?I'm not sure25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?I'd like to continue the one I'm in 😂26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?Yes27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?No28. Have you ever been cheated on?Yes29. Have you ever cheated on someone?No30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?No way lmao31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?Who hasnt?32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?Oh yes (from both sides)33. Have you ever had sex with a man?No34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?Yes35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?Yes36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?Yes37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?Oh yeah lol38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?Oh yes39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?Yes definitely40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?No41. Have you had sex so far this year?Yes42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?Oh god it depends. Happens pretty quickly tho43. How long was your longest relationship?6 months I think?44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?4 including current45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?Oh fuck I don't remember!46. How many times did you have sex last year?0 lol47. How old are you?2248. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?uhm rude wtf49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?Eyes and motivation50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?I'm not entirely sure what they'd be apologizing for? Nothing happened worth apologizing for51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?Yes52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?I don't like giving up on people. If they needed something, no matter how long its been since we talked id be there53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?No, everyone's really happy for me54. Is there someone you will never forget?Yes55. Share a relationship story.I don't have any good ones :(56. State 8 facts about your bodyI can't burp, if you touch my collarbone I freak out, I can grow a beard really fast, my back is constantly sore, my eyesights goings I think, I bite my nails, my sense of smell and hearing is excellent57. Things you want to say to an exNothing comes to mind58. What are five ways to win your heart?Be motivated, have a job, be mature, and enjoy talking to me59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)UGHHHHH go on my /tagged/me60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?Only about a year between current one, and all of my previous ones tbh61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?I don't know tbh62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?Show interest in me 😂63. What is your definition of “having sex”?I count oral sex as sex, but pretty much everyone else's definition64. What is your definition of cheating?Flirting with someone who isn't your partner without their knowledge/permission, and anything above that65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?Focusing 100% on my partner to get them turned on, however that may be66. What is your favourite roleplay?I don't know I've never really done display67. What is your idea of the perfect date?Spending time with the person, and doing a bunch of stuff. I like the occasional cuddle and netflix sesh but i get cabin fever very quickly68. What is your sexual orientation?Straight69. What turns you off?Cheating, disinterest70. What turns you on?Lots and lots of things71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?What??72. What words do you like to hear during sex?"I recognize the country of sealandia as a sovereign nation"73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?Spend time with me and send me memes74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?Gotta be shorter than me.75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?my girlfriend got me a lil penguin and sprayed it with her perfume to remind me ofher76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?Wrote them a love letter 😷😷77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?It's fine as long as both are consenting adults78. What’s your dirtiest secret?I don't think I have one tbh79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?It hasn't been lately so I can't remember80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?Last night to my best friend81. Who are five people you find attractive?Bree ❤, Secdef Mattis, the free market system, the good ol' USA, and lady liberty82. Who is the last person you hugged?My mom83. Who was your first kiss with?My friend emily84. Why did your last relationship fail?Distance I think85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?I am ❤❤❤❤❤

I was tagged by @afewhandshakesaway (thank you so much, by the way! :) ) ages ago in a quisetions thing, and it was still in my drafts when I checked a few minutes ago, so I supose I never actually did it?

I got some new followers recently since I started posting my drawings more and also it’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything with information about me, so I thought it might be interesting for someone, who might have kind of forgotten me or for anyone who has followed me recently? idk

Rules: Answer the following questions then tag 20 people (I’m not gonna tag anyone, because I don’t know who to tag and the people that come to mind have most likely done this already...) 

•How tall are you? 
I haven’t checked this in a long time, but about 160cm. Maybe a cm or two shorter? or 1cm taller? probably like 159cm. idk :D Relatively short. :) •What color and style is your hair? It is dark brown, curly (I’ve even given her a name - Flyufie, which comes from ‘fluffy’ of course) and it’s a little below shoulder length, but shorter than elbow length. I’m trying to grow it as long a possible currently, though. It grows very slowly, so there isn’t much of a danger of it getting too long anytime soon :D •What color are your eyes? 
very dark brown as well. •Do you wear glasses? 
no •Do you wear braces? No and I never have. •What is your fashion sense? Hmmm. Well for pants I usually wear things that are more form fitting than baggy (I don’t like very baggy pants), I like dresses and skirts, though I only have a few and actually don’t wear them as much now that I think about it... Most of my clothes are either one colour or have just a bit of “decoration”, which is either in the form of a plaid shirt, a pattern of black birds in flight on this one gray sweater/blouse I have or this one rose filled skull on a red sweater/blouse I have (which interestingly I didn’t like at first and thought was waaaay out of my style but it’s one of my favourite clothes now. The nice red colour also has a lot to do with it though). Uuuumm. Idk how to explain my style. It’s nothing too flashy and it’s not especially girly I guess. To me it’s kind of cute, regular urban style. Most of my clothes are  blue, white, red, black or pink I’ve noticed.  •Do you have any siblings? Yes. I have an older sister, who is 5 years older than me. And I also have a half sister, who is over 10 years older than me and we’ve barely ever seen each other ever. So I usually don’t really count her much to be honest... •What kind of student are/were you? Currently, in universiy, my tuition is quite high, so I’m trying to get scholaships and that has a role in me trying very hard to have the best grades possible. so I’m not very ‘free’ to be the kind of student I feel like being... So for thins I will try to explain high school me.  I was a good student. Mostly had very good grades, though occasionally had some not as good times. I tried to take part in the classes I was interested in and most of what I learned, I learned it in class. I didn’t to my homework very strictly, but I still tried to mostly do it. When I was bored in class I would usually doodle and in the cases where I could get away with it - listen to music. Radiohead only, lol (Not even kidding. The only variety was either AMOK or The Eraser). I tried to be quiet if I was talking to my friend and if I wasn’t paying attention I made it so as not to bother anyone with my boredom. I really hated the people who would talk loudly and make it everyone’s business that they were bored. And who would act rude to the teachers. That’s not to say I didn’t have a couple of times when I wasn’t as quiet... Speaking of teachers, most seemed to like me and say I’m a good kid. My friend who had worse grades than me used to tell me I was smart and good at subjects, when actually most of the time I didn’t put too much effort into studying. So in my eyes I thought I was an average/good student, who tried to be on a good level, but since most of the people around me didn’t bother much, I ended up being one of the best in the class. And in a few subjects especially. English was one of the subjects I was best at, actually. And tumblr was one of my main ways to practice. Not that I set it as goal or anything, but it just ended up being this way, so I thought I should credit it :D •What are your favorite subjects? If I had to choose from the ones I had in high school, I would say english, biology and sometimes literature and physics. I got into art on my own. School didn’t do anything to make me interested in it. But I remember that this one time in music class the teacher played something on the piano, and that had an impact on me wanting to try it out myself. •What are your favorite tv shows? If you’re asking about shows I watch regularly, than the anwer is that I moslty watch anime. It had a big part in me deciding to pursue animation (and with that, art... though I wanted to draw since I was little. I just didn’t have anyone to teach me and I thought it was all “talent”), so yeah... But there are shows, which I would watch if I catch them on tv or something. I remember binge watching Doctor Who a few years ago and I liked it a lot, though I barely remember anything from it at this point. W.i.t.c.h. is an all time favourite of mine. Naruto is my anime bae, due to being the only thing I’ve watched for like 5-10 years and growing up with it (and also it’s just good. Despite the counltess fillers and some little flaws). I’m enjoying Boruto, too. Ummm... Avatar was also quite great. (both the series with Aang and with Korra). Mmmmyeah, I guess these will do. •Favorite books? 
I don’t know. I don’t remember tittles and authors and I haven’t read that much anyway... But the last one I read was Hotel by... aaahhh, it was this famous author, I’m sure google search would do the work, but this exactly what I meant by not remembering authors. But yeah, it was a good read. •Favorite pastimes? Walking around when the weather is good, drawing, watching anime or stuff on youtube. And if I’m at my boyfriend’s place, cuddling and talking about stuff. And laughing. Laughing is always great. •Any regrets? Not really. I like the person I am and I’ve gone through periods in which I’ve changed and gotten to know myself better and it all feels logical and right. For the longest time I used to regret not gathering up the courage to tell my first big crush (5 years. from 3rd grade to 7th. And a few years after, getting over him) that I liked him and asking him if he ever felt anything for me. I would regret not saying ‘fuck it’ and not care what people think of me, like myself more and not try to fit in so hard and just face him. But regretting that is pointles, and also it would be me blaming past me for not doing something she just wasn’t able to do. I had to go through all the stuff I’ve gone through to get to where I am, so I don’t think I regret anything. I guess I wish some things hadn’t happened, but oh well. I’m still curous what would have happened ‘if’, but I guess I’ll never know. •What is your dream job? Working for the animation studio of the people, whose course I’m currently taking. They are so nice and such cool people and I get hyped about animation when I’m there and they explain well and they’re still a very young studio (also the people there all seem to be quite young!) and they have this project for an animated series, which just looks SO. COOL. and I want it to be successful and I want the studio to be successful and just be part of it all and help and have some part in that success. And yeah. I still don’t know which position to aim for, but I know that’s the place I want to be at and those are the people I want to work with. And it actually seems like it could happen, so that’s really great. •Do you want to get married?
 Yes. Some day. In the future. Just thinking about it gives me anxiety, though. Mostly because of having to organize everything and having it be a super special day, that I’m scared there might be something to make it not as perfect... And other reasons. But yeah, in theory, yes. I like it as an idea I think. Though it still feels a bit weird. I guess I just feel too young for that. •Do you want to have kids and how many? Yes, two. •How many countries have you visited?
  I don’t know. Not countring my home country (Bulgaria) that would be Greece, Macedonia, Romania, Italy, France, Serbia... And a few more, but mostly just the Balkans. The furthest I’ve gone is France and I’ve only been in Paris for 6 days, so I don’t feel like I’ve seen much of the country at all. •What’s the scariest dream you’ve had?
 Hmmm... Well there was this one time I had a dream that I was in a cave and I was going out through a hole when suddenly the cave formed around me and I was stuck and couldn’t move at all, the rock was sooo hard. That was pretty scary, especially since I have claustrophobia. But also any dreams with snakes are hella scary for me. I’ve had a few where there were snakes everywhere and I had to try not to step on any but they were all over the place. That’s always really horryfying for me. •Do you have any enemies? 
I don’t think I do. I usually try to be nice to everyone and if someone doesn’t like me, I doubt they have a reason to hate me enough to be my enemy. •Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes. <3

All salty questions please

1. how salty are you feeling right now?

i had my cup of coffee and it’s 9:15 and i don’t have any work to do at work at the moment so u know?? i actually feel pretty good i’m chill it’s all good but please continue reading under the cut for more salty unpopular opinions by yours truly :*

2. what are your unpopular opinion(s) of the fandom you’re rping in?

3. what rp trends are you so over and can’t wait for it to die?

4. have you ever made a call out post or wanted to?

i don’t think i have??  i’ve never really had an issue with somebody to the point that i felt as if i needed to make a callout post which thank god??? i’m grateful i’ve ( for the most part ) had really positive experiences so far 

as for callout culture itself ?? i have mixed feelings about it bc the majority of callout posts i’ve read seem kind of Harsh bc ur essentially damning this person from the roleplay community forever esp. bc i personally don’t think roleplaying is That Deep u know??  like theft is annoying and whatnot but idk if it’s something i’d call somebody out for personally - MAYBE I WOULDN’T MIND CALLOUT POSTS if anons didn’t go overboard telling said individual to die / kill themselves ??? 

HOWEVER i think there are instances in which callout posts are necessary esp. when calling out tumblr users for being a racist / pedophile / etc. THAT’S SUBJECTIVE AS HELL i know but pedophilia is GROSS AS FUCK and SO IS RACISM and god forbid i accidentally follow / write with any of those people because ew ew ew EW it’s good to know who to avoid in the community at the same time so ... Yeah i’ve got mixed feelings about callout posts

5. a ship everyone in the fandom you’re in loves, but you can’t stand?

since i’m a multimuse part of 1002 fandoms i’ll focus on haikyuu!! except i’m pretty sure i’m going to get my ass roasted alive but i really can’t stand i/waoi LMAO but that’s mostly out of bias and the fact that a lot of i/waoi shippers have ruined it for me by viciously hating on u/shijima as a character calling him a r/apist and saying that u/shioi is abusive when u/shijima has done literally nothing ever to abuse o/ikawa like what ?? if anything i/waoi is the abusive ship considering i/waizumi’s the one who physically hurts o/ikawa all the time LOL

shitty shippers aside idk i/waoi’s personally just not really my jam?  to be honest all the super popular hq!! ships aren’t rly my jam - i don’t even really have good explanation for why i dislike i/waoi as much as i do from an unbiased point of view but i prefer them as friends ?? in all honesty ??  JUST MY 2 CENTS THO 

6. have you ever sent something to one of those burn book blogs?

lol no i might be extra but i aint That Extra laughs in all seriousness i rly haven’t had any major problems w/ other roleplay blogs to the point that i was tempted to send something to a burn book blog

7. has someone made you unfollow/block them without a second thought because of a petty reason?

i’m trying to remember if there were any instances in which i did so for a petty reason but most of the time ??? i usually unfollow if somebody writes something Inherently Problematic / over-the-top purple prose / they don’t follow me back ... there was one time when i unfollowed somebody bc i asked them for their autoplay bc i rly liked the song and i just wanted to listen to it??? LMAO but they thought i was going to steal from them just bc we wrote the same muse and i was like Bro. I JUST LIKED UR AUTOPLAY what the hell i just wanted to listen to it 200 times in a row on youtube chill so i unfollowed them bc lmao how dare you assume i’d steal from somebody in the first place Get Over Yourself Susan

8. are you good at dealing with personal problems?

i’d say so?? again i usually don’t rly have roleplaying issues but problems aside from those i usually like to vent on twitter and i feel Much Better after that??  im a pretty chill person irl and shit doesn’t rly get to me so i can come off as kind of blunt / insensitive but i feel like i get over most stuff pretty quickly - there’s no reason to get Angry and make somebody suffer when somebody tries to fuck you over imo??  True Vengeance is aspiring to be happier / richer / more successful / fulfilled than that person will ever be - that’s my Fuck You to those people y’know?? 😂😂😂 life is so much better when i focus on me and figuring out what i can do to fulfill my emotional needs - i feel very lucky with what i have and all my friends and family who cherish + support me of course though !!

9. what’s your opinion on duplicates?

i may come off as a confident self-assured person but even i get shaken time to time y’know??  but for the most part i don’t rly mind duplicates??  in fact i like to try to befriend them to get over any anxiety i might have over duplicates and i think it’s a silly thing to be uncomfortable by duplicates personally bc again roleplaying rly ain’t that deep you guys - in fact you guys both like the same character so you guys chose to write the same character??  duplicates + i already have a connection in that sense!!  also duplicate muse threads are SUPER COOL to write in my opinion bc it lets your muse face themselves and they can rly see themselves for who they really are which i think is Always Cool because i love writing threads in which i get to explore emotional depth with my muses ?? PLUS DUPLICATES ARE COOL bc it’s kind of interesting to see how other people interpret the same character you write bc everybody has different opinions 

i know the anxiety might be there but i think the best advice my mom has ever given me is not to compare yourself to other people even if you think they’re better than you or something and i know that’s hard advice to follow for everybody but roleplaying is a hobby and it’s done for fun - there’s so many other things you can stress about in life so why let roleplaying be one of those things??  focus on yourself and focus on your muse and developing that muse with other people and people will want to come to you to write with them.  preferences will always be a thing - it’s only natural but focus on having fun with your muse as opposed to worrying about other people!!

10. any fandom(s) you don’t want to rp in or crossover to?

11. are you for or not for purple prosing?

12. has someone in the rp community ever made you upset/cry?

i don’t think..... so??  upset maybe but not to the point of crying??  i mean again i’ve never really had a truly terrible experience but i did have an ex-writing partner who used to constantly guilt trip me until i finally broke it off with them because it was starting to affect my real life relationships and whatnot and i didn’t want to bear that burden anymore as much as i wanted to be their friend but i couldn’t singlehandedly bear all of their problems for them anymore because it wasn’t healthy for me nor was it good for them so i cut them out of my life for both of our sakes - i’ve had great times with this person but ultimately, i’m glad i did what i did and i’m proud of myself for being able to focus on my own emotional needs

13. ever told someone not to follow/rp with a particular person because something that happened to you in the past?

i ... can’t remember laughs I DON’T THINK SO???  people have told me not to write w/ certain people before when i go into new communities blind but for the most part i don’t think i’ve really had an overly terrible experience to the point that i felt i had to tell other people not to roleplay with / follow them ... i’ve been very blessed with a good experience so far!!

14. ever knew someone that everyone loves but you can’t stand?

i would say ‘can’t stand’ is kind of harsh but i dislike them because of a petty reason???  it’s fine tho bc they stay in their lane and i stay in mine - it’s all good imo.  i for the most part have enough decency not to hate on other people’s ships but this person kept telling me about how much they dislike my ships to my face on a consistent basis which again PETTY and i know they weren’t in a good place at the time but shrugging emoji idk i just thought it was kind of rude ??

15. have you ever done something out of spite?

i do everything out of spite im jk but seriously if you tell me i can’t do smth i will only do said thing with 100% more effort out of sheer spite like THERE WAS SOMEBODY who told me i couldn’t ship a certain ship so i proceeded to flood my dash with 300% more ship content you’re welcome headass spite is a Great Motivator

me: i’m a chill person and im going to be the happiest person ever :)also me: u test me bitch and im coming for ur entire life

16. what would you say to the one who hurt you in the past?

i hope you are incandescently happier than you were before.  i hope you are in a better place and i hope you are still writing with people who appreciate you and can give you the attention you deserve.  i hope you are a better person today and i wish you nothing but the best in a life without me, but i do not miss you nor do i ever want you back in my life.  i cherish the good times we had together, but we are better off without each other regardless of what you might still think and i hope you don’t.  i hope you recognize what you did and i hope you are a wonderful person today.

17. what are your opinions when someone makes negative posts constantly on their rp blog?

if you make more negative posts than roleplay content i’m gonna unfollow you??  i understand you’re having a hard time with your life but honestly i followed you to write with you - it’s not that your well-being doesn’t matter to me but i write to have fun + destress and ultimately, roleplaying is about myself??  im not doing this for other people - im doing this for me.  i don’t mind occasional negative posts ( ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY’RE TAGGED !! ) but if you’re consistently complaining about how much you think you suck compared to everyone else or how you think nobody wants you around, then i’m going to unfollow you because i came to write with you because i thought you were COOL!!  i know people just want to vent ( LORD KNOWS I VENT A LOT even if it’s about little stuff ) but consider making a twitter / a personal tumblr in which you can do so instead of your roleplay blog which is for roleplaying ???  idk that’s just my opinion but i try to keep my roleplaying blog strictly related to the content - i don’t even want to flood my blog with too many ooc asks bc u guys didn’t follow me to read my constant ooc posts ( even if i feel like i write a lot LMAO ) - u guys followed to write w me !!!!

18. do you hold grudges for long?

i say no but at the same time i’ve been really bitter towards an ex-best friend for three years now.  NONE OF THESE GRUDGES ARE ROLEPLAY-RELATED but again my way of vengeance is to be way happier and more successful than her and never ever see her again because that’s the decision she made??  we used to be Super Close but then she got a boyfriend and her entire life revolved around her boyfriend and we never spent any more time together after that like ??? it’s clear who she chose over me so if she doesn’t want to make the effort to spend time with me then i see no effort to give her any thought.  also the fact that she, as a white individual, complained to my other best friend behind my back that i’m apparently too “sensitive” about popular media.  like really?  wow, must be nice to have all the representation you could possibly ever ask for, karen.  get the fuck out of here with that attitude /:  

also SUPER PERSONAL but i’m salty about my kind-of-ex because he basically acted like he was really invested in me when he was still hung up on somebody else and i let myself be emotionally vulnerable around him until he confessed to me that he just wanted to be friends because he was still into his ex and then proceeded to neglect our friendship because he’d spend all of his time with his ex ( who he predictably got back together with + who turned out to be a really shitty selfish manipulative person who he broke up with anyway ) which was Fine i was already used to that anyway with SEE: ABOVE FRIEND but then after he broke up with her he’s tried to come back into my life on various occasion because he’s never had as Great of a Friend as me and frankly i can’t forgive him or myself for making myself invest any sense of emotion into him it makes me so angry to think i was actually upset because i actually cared a lot about him and he made me feel like i wasn’t good enough and how fucking dare he make me feel like that ever?  i’m the Fucking Best and he deserves absolutely nothing from me he deserves perfect indifference and i hope he never ever feels fulfilled in his life i wish him a great and terrible lack of satisfaction for the rest of his miserable life xoxo i’m going to be SO MUCH HAPPIER THAN THAT ASSHOLE i’m years and years better off without him i hope he pines for my friendship for the rest of his life

19. wild card: ask the mun any type of salty asks.

20. if you’re feeling salty right now, this ask gives you a free reign to pour out your frustration.

i feel like question 18 let me do that so i’m good but also ??? fuck the gangsta. novel ??? for its HORRIBLE characterization of worick + nic’s relationship ???  the gangsta. novel treats their relationship as if nic is some dog/servant to worick which in itself is gross in concept because haha yay a poc character forcibly being subservient to a white character THAT’S COOL :)))))))) but also ??????? uh AUTHOR ARE WE READING THE SAME MANGA ?????

worick has never treated nic as a dog / servant even when they were children - worick even taught him how to read / write ??? worick and nic were e/o’s first and only friends for a long while ??? they’ve lived together for so many years - they canonly share shirts, they’re business partners, worick was genuinely hurt to see nic in so much pain.  not only does worick NOT see nic as a dog / servant HE LOVES NIC ???  HE LOVES HIM SO MUCH THEIR RELATIONSHIP MEANS SO MUCH TO ME they’ve been through so much together and worick since he was 14 has literally supported the both of them via Really Horrible Means that i won’t get into - i’ll leave it up to your imagination but he split the profit he made from what he did with nic ???  there’s no way worick would’ve done that shit if he viewed nic as somebody beneath him esp. when survival was so difficult for two 14-year-old boys with no funds or resources they’ve survived together through thick and thin and there’s a special relationship they have and i love worick and nic okay I LOVE THEM SO MUCH EVEN IF THEY MAKE SHITTY DECISIONS AND WHATNOT nobody will ever convince me otherwise 

also if you’ve made it to the end i commend you and thank you for reading my salty opinions / personal problems / issues :* i hope you all have a wonderful day :**

tagged by @agatharja

first rule: tag 9 people you want to get to know better! You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to! :)

... my anxiety won’t let me tag anyone because i’m afraid i’d be bothering them

second rule: Bold statements that are true

- I am 5'7 or taller (i fucking wiiiiiiiiiiiiiish)

- I wear glasses (i’m meant to but i don’t because they get dirty and that bothers me)

-I have at least one tattoo

- I have at least one piercing (6 distributed around my ears and 1 nose)

- I have blonde hair

- I have brown eyes

- I have short hair (hells yeah boi)

- My abs are at least somewhat defined (bitch i wish, fuck off)

- I have or had braces

PERSONALITY:

- I love meeting new people

- People tell me I am funny (ppl tell me nothing. also i never speak out loud)

- Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine (i mean i’d like to but i have no idea what to say)

- I enjoy physical challenges

- I enjoy mental challenges

- I am playfully rude to people I know (i mean kinda sometimes? idk)

- I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it 

- There is something I would change about my personality (everything i would love to not be a bland robot)

ABILITY:

- I can sing well

- I can play an instrument (i can sort of play ukulele and guitar. and ocarina i guess lol. i also took recorder lessons when i was in primary school. now that was a bad time)

- I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (lol no)

- I am a fast runner (actually i can sprint really fast but for only like 10 seconds)

- I can draw well

- I have a good memory (HAHAHAHAHA NO)

- I am good at doing math in my head

- I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute (i used to when i was like a teen but my asthma and stuff has gotten real bad since then)

- I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling (idk probably i mean see aforementioned unbolded good memory i can’t even remember two days ago at all i must have beaten 2 people at arm wrestling. i mean i know i’ve wrestled the arm)

- I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch

- I know how to throw a proper punch (well i mean i can do a karate punch. you start with your fist closed and facing up, held next to like your hip and your elbow’s like pointed back, and then you thrust forward and up a bit and twist your fist down inwards, so you end up with it at chest level. idk)

HOBBIES:

- I enjoy sports (i feel like eventually i will end up watching something like women’s soccer or women’s basketball, because i am a pathetic virginal gay that can’t talk to and is unattractive to girls)

- I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else (i tried out for soccer twice. since i’m a fatass they didn’t go well)

- I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else (i was in primary school i have no idea why i think it’s cuz my grandma wanted me to be? but it wasn’t all bad i mean one time we went to like a choir competition and the conductor called me a boy so that was neat as fuck. man i got called a boy a lot when i was a kid it was fucking heaven compared to now, assholes calling me ma’am and shit man get fuckt)

- I have learned a new song in the past week (what does this mean? like to play on an instrument? bitch i can’t even concentrate long enough to learn Honeybee by Steam Powered Giraffe i just get discouraged and shit)

- I exercise at least once a week (listen i intend to rectify this and go swimming every day, now that i finally realised like last year that i actually have fucking dysphoria and that’s why i hated wearing swimsuits (aside from because i’m fat as shit and disgusting to witness in a fucking onepiece like what the fuck were my parents fucking thinking making me wear shit like that when i’m obese as sin) i’m gonna get board shorts and a rashguard and wear one of my less liked binders and it’ll be so fucking good)

- I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months (fuck off i’m not leaving my house in fucking summer it’s fucking 40°)

- I have drawn something in the past month

- I enjoy writing (man i haven’t properly written in like 7 years because idk depression but i still write stories in my head when i’m going to sleep at night and showering and whatever)

- Fandoms are my #1 priority

- I do some form of Martial arts (i used to do karate when i was uhhh 14?)

EXPERIENCES:

- I have had my first kiss (hahahahaha *sob* i fucking wish)

- I have had alcohol (yeah man i love jagerbombs and blue lagoons, defuckinglicious)

- I have scored a winning point in a sport (fuck sports)

- I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting (okay wait does this count for like rewatches? because when i saw my first anime i was obsessed with watching it - martian successor nadesico btw - for the entire day and that’s all i did, i sat in bed and watched it all morning to night)

- I have been at an overnight event (i meannnn when i went to see the last jedi slash meet some of my friends from my guild irl for the first time i stayed over at their house on the sofa and left the next morning does that count)

- I have been in a taxi (yeah it was only recently actually, our car fucking died and we had to take some convoluted fucking public transport out of our place from middle-of-dead-ass-fucking-nowhere-ville (needless to say i hate the suburb i live in. and country) to somewhere where we could get a taxi to a car rental place. or was it a dealership? i can’t fucking remember man do you see this shitty memory in action?? it was only like 2 years ago fuck me)

- I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year (well i was IN a hospital but that’s because i was going to a dental clinic in the building)

- I have beaten a video game in one day (what game can you beat in a day man???)

- I have visited another country (i haven’t got enough fucking money lad)

- I have been to one of my favorite bands’ concerts (listen fuck you i’m totally counting livestreamed concerts, i’ve seen all of Steam Powered Giraffe’s youtube concerts and the one recorded in 2013 and you bet your ass i’m gonna pay $20 for the right to see the film of the anniversary concert)

MY LIFE:

- I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend (i kinda consider my friend bunny my best friend but i doubt he considers me his bestie)

- I live close to my school/work (HAHAHA GET REKT I TAKE MY UNI COURSES ONLINE AHAHAHA)

- My parents are still together

- I have at least one sibling (i mean technically i have 3 but i’ve never met them. at least i don’t think i have. they can get lost far as i’m concerned)

- I live in the United States (i wouldn’t live there if you paid me. maybe if obama were still president you could’ve got me to live there if you gave me like 5 million dollars, but now i would actually rather die)

- There is snow where I live right now (god i would fucking kill for some snow)

- I have hung out with a friend in the past month (yooo i was boutta unbold this because i have no fuckin friends except my online pals but then i remembered going to meet two of my friends from online and seeing star wars with them!! holy shit i feel validated and less lonely)

- I have a smartphone (samsung galaxy s6 BOI i am so fucking angry i was gonna hold out for the s7 cuz 7 is my second favourite fucking number (first is 14 but i wasn’t gonna wait a decade for that or w/e) anyway i finally decided to just get the s6 and the fucker asshole 7 is announced like a month later aaaaaarhghdks)

- I own at least 15 CDs (i have a whole fuck ton of videogames and they’re on CDs get owned HAHA FOILED but i also have probably about 15 CDs of music if i’m gonna count the stuff my family has)

- I share my room with someone (man my room isn’t even big enough for me how you gonna fit a whole nother person in that cupboard)

RELATIONSHIPS:

- I am in a Relationship (*cries uncontrollably*)

- I have a crush on a celebrity (well i mean i wouldn’t say no to like scarlett johansson if she told me she wanted to rail me. or gal gadot. or kate beckinsale. or kristen stewart. or - okay this is probably a massive list of ladies i want to rawdog me)

- I have a crush on someone I know (i’m slightly in love with all of my female friends because they show me kindness)

- I’ve been in at least 3 relationships (alright fucking buckle up kids: i don’t count online relationships because i’m a bitter person but when i was like 10 i was in a ‘relationship’ on runescape with a boy the same age at me and i legitimately think it was actually a kid like me and not a predator because all we did was stand next to each other and talk about cows or something and make the avatars kiss (we both had male avatars because i was obviously subconsciously aware of my gender identity at that stage). when i was like 13/14 i met a girl at a camp during the school holidays (i went to camp almost every holiday) and we chatted over msn after camp ended and tbh i think she forgot who i was because she suddenly said she liked me one day so i decided i liked her too and we started to ‘date’. lasted like 2 weeks? idk but she broke it off cuz i was inattentive (i can’t remember but i guess i could’ve been i’m not a very social person believe it or not *snicker*) anyway i saw her at the next two camps and it was hella fucking awkward the first time because i wanted to be friends with her but her other friends intimidated me so i just hovered around her creepily and she got angry at me and i got sad, but the 2nd time was a lot better i think, i was extremely distressed when i saw her at the bus station for the camp transport and i sulked the entire ride, but when we all got there i accidentally fell into her friend group (i actually think it’s because the other girls were really nice and they’d seen me sulking and wanted to cheer me up, man kinda fucked up huh) i pretty much ignored her the whole time and after camp ended she contacted me on msn for some reason and idk she like asked me how i’d felt when i saw her at camp and i was honest and told her i’d been pretty upset and then she got pissed at me and never spoke to me again. wow such drama huh? oh and my 3rd ‘relationship’ was when i was uhh 16/17-ish with this girl i met on some naruto fansite. i don’t even like naruto, and i actually remember absolutely nothing about my interactions with her. like at all. i don’t remember how we met or who dumped who or whatever bullshit. i’m not sure why this is i mean maybe it’s because this was at the same time i had a massive fucking obsessive infatuation with a girl at my school and well it didn’t turn out so hot and i think i’ve blocked out a lot of shit. anyway i hope you all enjoyed that wall of text haha of course you fucking didn’t. well tough titties me lad)

- I have never been in a relationship (*cries*)

- I have admitted my feelings to a crush (fuck no holy shit)

- I get crushes easily (yeah well if any female is nice to me i’m a goner. also one time during high school i started getting crushes on all the girls in my extended english class like i think it was a new girl each week. it was a tiny class there was only like 8 of us, no stinky boys (even if i’d realised i was trans at the time, i’m not stinky :P))

- I have had a crush for over a year (it was not fun)

- I have been in a relationship for over a year

- I have had feelings for a friend (do semi acquaintances count. or ‘girls that tolerated me enough to let me sit with them at lunch’)

RANDOM:

- I have break-danced

- I know a person named Jamie

- I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce (listen i don’t fucking remember. but i’m good at pronunciations and shit anyway)

- I have dyed my hair (it was really short and blonde i kinda looked like a skinhead)

- I’m listening to a song on repeat right now (tongue tied from red dwarf)

- I have punched someone in the past week

- I know someone who has gone to jail

- I have broken a bone (broke my ankle in primary school because i’m fat and dumb and tried to slide along the grass into the safezone during tag or whatever, also i broke my wrist when i was 18 because i’m fat and dumb and i was learning how to drive a scooter but i went around a corner too slow or idk unbalanced or some shit, i think i broke the mirror on it but fuck that infernal machine i had to get fucking surgery and get pins in my wrist. when i got them out it was actually the closest i’ve ever come to fainting like the doctor dude was straining hard to pull these ones on the side out and when they finally popped out and a ton of blood gushed out i like deflated and teetered in my seat a bit it was an experience)

- I have eaten a waffle today (never had a waffle)

- I know what I want to do in life (well idk about an actual career but i want to write a book and get it published and make tons of bank)

- I speak at least two languages (i took japanese for 6 years don’t fucking tell me that doesn’t count just because i can’t carry a conversation in the language. also i took a class on latin for a semester it was dope af)

- I have made a new friend in the past year