#i guess i have like six months until thanksgiving to decide lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mcu-padawan · 7 years

Text

Talking to the Moon

Prompt: (2) “I just want you to know that I love you. A lot. Never forget that.”

(13) “Tell me what you’re thinking right now.”

(16) “There’s nothing to be scared of, okay? I’m right here.”

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: angst (lots lol), fluff, language (probably), violence

Word Count: 5.2K

A/N: So I wrote this for Bee’s 2.1K challenge ( @amarvelouswritings ) and I am so excited for you guys to read it! When I first saw the prompts these that I chose are the ones which stood out to me the most. And once I decided on them, I knew that Bucky was the one for me -- I mean you, the reader -- I mean for the story lol! Well, I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Looking back, you never would have thought that taking a different route to work on that fateful day would have resulted in so much heartbreak. Yes, you knew that with adulthood came a series of events that would test your strength. And you also knew that your parents raised you to be as strong as anyone could make you. But the moment you saw those troubled blue eyes, you knew that any barrier you'd built up would soon crumble down.

The man you met in the subway was named James Barnes, and boy did he steal your heart. Growing up, you were a hopeless romantic, but you knew that that's not how the real world worked. And after countless failed relationships, your faith in true love started diminishing little by little. But James was different, somehow. He was polite, in a way that nobody in this generation seemed to be. And he was beautiful. You'd never thought you'd hear yourself describe a man as beautiful, and you never in a million years would have thought you'd make the first move. And yet here you were, introducing yourself to the most beautiful man you'd ever set eyes on.

“Train’s a little crowded today isn’t it?”

The man looked up and gave you a small smile.

“This train’s usually busy,” he said. “This your first time taking it?”

You nodded. “I usually take another train to work, but it seems the railway has an issue, so I had to take an unexpected detour. I’m Y/N by the way.” You stuck out your hand for him to shake and he took it, firmly shaking your hand.

“I’m James.”

After talking a bit with James (and nearly missing your stop) you left, expecting to never see him again. But to both of your surprises, you saw each other again one week later when he was waiting in the lobby of the building you worked in. As chance would have it, you were running late that day, your usual alarm malfunctioning this morning. So rushing through the front doors of the Brooklyn College Center, you could have easily missed the man in the dark clothes and baseball cap. But the moment you heard his voice, all thoughts of being late to work (and potentially getting fired) left your mind. "Y/N?" You looked up and met the blue eyes that had been keeping you awake for the past week. A smile started pulling at your lips, and while you tried to pull yourself together, your heart had other plans, beating at a thousand miles per hour, unaffected by the idea of James hearing it and realizing how much of an effect he had on you. "James," you breathed. "Hi. Uhm, what are you doing here?" Working at a non-profit college center in the heart of Brooklyn, you were used to having lost teenagers waiting in the lobby for you, or the occasional white collared donor, but James didn't fit either of those categories. "I… we wanted to uh… you work here?" You nodded. "Yes, I work here. Is there anything I can help you with?" In that moment you noticed another man approaching the two of you. He had blonde hair, blue eyes, and a warm smile on his face. "Hi," he greeted you, shaking your hand. "I'm Steve, Bucky's friend. And you are?" "Y/N, I'm the financial advisor here at Brooklyn College Center," you replied, smiling back at Steve, partially grateful that he'd interrupted the conversation before you said something stupid. Like that you couldn't stop thinking of James, who you'd only met once. (In the train, you had had courage because you thought you'd never see James again, but now that courage was starting to slip away.) "Hey, that's great! Bucky and I actually came here in hopes of helping out the center. We grew up in Brooklyn and now that we're better off, I guess you could say, we wanted to give back to our city." So they called him Bucky huh? You tucked that bit of information in your mind for future reference and smiled at the two men. "Then you've come to the right person! Follow me." And with that, you led Steve and James — Bucky — to your office. ... After the donations were issued (including a hefty amount of Stark gear and technology that you weren't exactly sure how they'd gotten their hands on), you led Steve and Bucky back to the lobby. Steve made his way out of the building, telling Bucky he'd bring the car up front while he finished talking to you, leaving you two alone in the lobby. "So… Bucky?" you grinned. "How does James translate to Bucky?" He chuckled, reaching to scratch the back of his neck, a slight pink hue brushing his cheeks. "Well my full name's James Buchanan Barnes, but yes, Bucky is what I'm usually called." You nodded looking down at the portfolio you still had clutched in your arms. You were slightly embarrassed; usually, you knew how to talk to people. All kinds of wealthy — and not so wealthy — donors visited the college center so you wouldn't say you felt out of place when talking to them. But Bucky was different. "Look doll, I'm not going to beat around the bush here so let me just tell you." You looked up to meet his eyes, immediately feeling a warmth travel up the back of your neck when you were met with a playful smirk. "I haven't stopped thinking about you, and I don't wanna stop thinking about you. So how about I take you out sometime, properly, and not just on a train?" You were sure you looked as red as a tomato now, you were unused to someone so directly telling you they were interested. But you didn't hesitate in your response, and slowly nodded, a full grin on your face now. "Great," he smiled. "I promise you won't regret it."

You sighed as you looked at yourself in the mirror, smoothing the nonexistent wrinkles on your dress and fidgeting around with your necklace.

Through the mirror, you watched Bucky make his way towards you, his warmth enveloping you and making you instantly relax. You leaned your head on his shoulder, looking over his smartly dressed reflection. He was wearing dress pants and a button up shirt. His tie was hanging untied around his neck. You turned and reached for it, your fingers slowly making the crosses and turns that came with tying a tie. Bucky's arms were on your hips, and you felt him looking at you. His metal arm moves to your chin, pulling it up until your eyes meet his. Bucky and you had been dating for five months now, and today was the day that he would finally be meeting your family. Thanksgiving with your family was a huge deal. Everybody, and you mean everybody, from your family attended. Job promotions were announced, baby showers were announced, but most importantly, boyfriends were introduced. So to say you'd been dreading the coming of Thanksgiving would be the understatement of the century. It's not that you were embarrassed by Bucky; no, you were always proud to have him by your side. And you weren't embarrassed by your family; you loved them with all your heart and you usually enjoyed going to reunions such as these. No, what you were afraid of was Bucky and your family together. You were afraid they weren't going to like him. Your family weren't bad people, but they wanted the very best for you, so much so that they might not see that you did have the very best right by your side. "Tell me what you're thinking right now." (13) "I'm thinking that you're great to me Bucky, and I really don't want my family to fuck this up." Bucky looked at you with a playful smirk, but his eyes told you he was being serious. "Everything's going to be okay doll. They'll like me; what's not to like?" You chuckled. This was Bucky, your Bucky, the one man who could get you calm even though he was just as nervous (if not more nervous) than you. You noticed how this family visit was affecting him, even if he didn't show you directly. "I hope so Buck. Just remember that I love you, okay? And while I love them, and I value their opinion in many other aspects of my life, I don't need it when it comes to you." Bucky cupped your face and kissed your nose. "I know doll. But I also know how much you want them to like me. They're important to you, I get it. Just don't work yourself up about it doll, it'll all be great." ... Bucky and you stepped onto your parents' porch and you rang the doorbell. You could hear the party the moment you turned into your parents' street, and after about ten minutes of circling the block, you finally found a parking spot and made your way to your family reunion. Bucky was surprised at how full your house seemed to be, but this was just another Thanksgiving reunion for you. The door to your childhood home opened and you were greeted with your younger brother’s grin. Your face quickly pulled itself into a similar smile as he engulfed you in a bone crushing hug. Even though he was three years your minor, people would always confuse you for the younger sibling.

“Jason, you’re crushing me,” you groaned.

Your brother released you but continued to hold onto your shoulders. “You need to stop doing this to us Y/N. Six months without coming to visit! Is Rochester so bad?”

You laughed. “You know it’s not that Jason. I’ve just been super busy with work and…”

“And I see you’ve been busy with something other than your job too.” You knew Jason was referring to Bucky, even before you noticed him looking straight at Bucky. Your brother was always the protective type, even though he was your younger brother, not older. He was openly looking at Bucky, but Bucky didn’t seem bothered by it. In fact, he looked much more composed than you.

“Hi. I’m James Barnes, Y/N’s boyfriend,” Bucky said as he shook Jason’s hand.

“I’m Jason.”

“Pleasure to meet you.”

There were a few moments of silence before Jason broke out into a full grin again. “I’m just messing with you two. Come on in guys, everyone’s been dying to see you.”

You released a sigh you had been holding in, instantly relaxing when you realized that Jason approved of Bucky. You slipped your hand into Bucky’s and made your way into the (now not-so-scary) house.

…

Thanksgiving dinner had been a success, with your mom instantly falling for Bucky’s manners and old charm, and with your dad instantly connecting with Bucky on the topic of baseball. All in all, the night was a success, and you couldn’t have been happier.

“That wasn’t so bad now was it doll?” Bucky said as he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind.

“That was great Bucky. You were great. I love you.” You closed your eyes and leaned back into his warmth.

“I love you too doll.”

Being in a relationship with an Avenger wasn’t easy. You knew that going into the relationship, and just like Bucky supported you through any of your career choices, you supported him when it came to him being gone on missions. You knew that missions were unpredictable. The team could be gone for a couple of days or a couple of weeks. The missions could be simple information extraction, or it could be super high-risk. You knew the risk that Bucky, along with all the other Avengers, were taking when going on those missions, and you knew that there was always a chance that they wouldn’t come back.

So with that in mind, you hugged Bucky tightly, trying to make the hug last as long as possible before he had to leave. Steve, Natasha, Sam, and Bucky were going on a month long mission to Bulgaria. You weren’t entirely sure of the details of the mission (Bucky always said that the less you knew, the less you’d worry, although that was totally untrue), but you knew it had something to do with tracking down some Hydra aficionados before they got out of hand.

In the eleven months that you had been dating Bucky, you had never once cried when he left on a mission. No, Bucky needed to be strong, and having your sadness on his mind would only distract him. But today was different. You felt it. Bucky felt it. So he hugged you back just as hard while burying his face into your neck.

"I just want to let you know that I love you. A lot. Never forget that,” he mumbled. (2)

“I love you too Buck.” You released him from the embrace and held his face in your hands. “I’ll see you soon okay?”

Bucky nodded and gave you a kiss on your forehead. “I’ll be back soon doll.”

Soon…

The mini team had been gone for three weeks now, and while Bucky and you had been keeping contact over phone calls and video calls, they were rare, the high-risk mission leading to more caution on phone usage.

From what Bucky had told you, mostly everything was going according to plan, and there was even a chance the mission could be finished within the coming week. You hoped it would be done soon because while this wasn’t the first time Bucky had left for a month, it was the uneasiest you had ever been on a mission. At first, you thought that you were pregnant, trying to find a source to your over emotional state. But after taking a pregnancy test, you confirmed that you weren’t pregnant, and while that was a relief, you started to worry even more about the mission.

The news, however, didn’t reach you until the weekend. You hadn’t heard from Bucky in three days, and while you tried not to overthink it, the uneasy feeling you’d been experiencing was coming back in full force.

Tony and Wanda had invited you to the Avengers facility for a “weekend getaway,” or at least that’s the term that they used when convincing you to drop work for the weekend and spend it with them. You obliged, thinking that a vacation was what you needed after so much work and in order to get your mind off of the entire mission. Plus, they might have had some new information on the team.

You made your way into the compound, going to the ground floor where most of the socializing was held. But instead of finding Wanda and Tony with a movie ready like you had planned, you were surprised to find Vision and Clint in the room as well. And instead of relaxed expressions, the four Avengers all had solemn looks on their faces.

“Y/N…” Wanda started as she slowly made her way towards you.

“What’s wrong?” The uneasiness in your stomach returned tenfold.

“It’s…” Wanda shook her head but didn't continue.

“Wanda, what is it?”

She looked at you with tears in her eyes but didn’t say another word.

“Wanda! What is it? Whats happening?” You took her shoulders and slightly shook her, trying to get her to tell you what was wrong.

“It’s Bucky Y/N,” Tony spoke from across the room.

His words made your blood run cold. You dropped your hold of Wanda and took a step back, looking at Tony now.

“Don’t say it,” you whispered, tears starting to blur your vision.

“We’re afraid Hydra’s got a hold of Mr. Barnes Y/N,” Vision said.

“When?”

Wanda took your hand. “Y/N—”

“Tell me when!”

“We’ve known for three days now,” Tony said.

“What?! Why didn't you tell me?!”

“We needed to gather as much information as we could before —”

“No Tony! You can’t give me that bullshit right now! Hydra took Bucky three days ago and you only now tell me?!”

Clint took a turn speaking to you now. “Y/N, you need to understand. We didn’t want to tell you something as big as this without at least forming a plan on how we can get him back.”

Your breathing was hard and fast, the tears now falling freely down your cheeks. It was getting harder and harder to breathe, most probably because of the combination of the shock and your asthma problems. “And have you? Have you formed a plan? When are we going to get him?”

None of the Avengers answered you.

No no this can’t be happening they can’t have Bucky again no he had to be SAFE he couldn’t be…

“NO! THEY CAN'T HAVE HIM! HE HAS TO COME HOME!”

“Y/N!” You suddenly felt Wanda’s arms around you, but you couldn't see her. Your vision was blurry and you felt as if the room was spinning. You were leaning against Wanda, trying to keep your legs still but you couldn’t.

Wanda’s arms were replaced by stronger ones, and you suddenly felt Tony pick you up bridal-style. But you didn't know where it is he took you because soon darkness consumed you.

…

You awoke what felt like a few minutes later with a massive headache. One look at your phone, however, informed you that it was the next morning and that last night actually had happened. And while your crushed heart made you want to stay in bed all day, all week, you knew you wouldn’t be able to do that. Why? Because your parents had raised you to be strong and face problems head on. And while last night had taken you by surprise, you knew that Bucky needed you strong and able to help him. If he was going to get home, you needed to help the team.

So you got up, fixed your clothes up, re-gathered your hair, and made your way to the main room of the facility. There, you found the Avengers already awake and moving. Natasha and Sam (you assumed the team had returned while you were sleeping) instantly looked at you, but you wished they hadn’t. Their eyes looked tired, but most of all, they looked… hopeless. If you were going to find Bucky and get him back safely, you couldn’t lose hope.

But they weren’t who you were looking for. No, the one person you were looking for was across the room, his back to you and his eyes looking out the window. His shoulders were tense, and honestly, you were surprised to even see him here. When Steve turned around, his eyes locked on yours, and you saw your own pain reciprocated in them. But — and you almost didn’t notice — you also saw the guilt in his eyes. You could only begin to imagine what Steve was going through, having recovered Bucky (after much resistance from many sides) only to lose him again on a mission.

Steve started making his way to you, instantly engulfing you in his strong embrace. And while others might have taken Steve as a shoulder to cry on, you forced yourself not to cry, reminding yourself that you had to be strong for Bucky, and for Steve.

Steve pulled back but kept his hands on your shoulders, taking a deep breath before speaking.

“We’re working on a plan to get him back Y/N. And I might not be able to tell you when we’ll get him home again, but I can reassure you that we will,” Steve said.

You nodded, completely trusting that Steve was doing everything in his power to get his friend, your friend and partner, back home.

“How did it happen?” You didn’t want to ask. You really didn’t want to ask, but you had to know.

Steve didn’t answer you, instead, Natasha started to speak.

“This part of the mission was standard procedure Y/N. A simple extraction of information. But the people we were going after… they had an informant, a good one. They got word that the Winter Soldier —”

“Bucky,” you corrected.

“— Bucky was in the city. I guess they put two and two together and started following us. Nobody thought our cover would be blown, but they found him, and they said the words and…”

“They got to him Y/N,” Steve said. “Even if we get him back, his recovery might take a while…”

You nodded, taking in a deep breath in order to avoid breaking down in front of the entire team. You noticed that Tony was the only one out of the room, but soon heard him entering as he was ending a call on the phone.

“Lang and Bruner are on their way. I tried getting contact of the god, but he didn’t necessarily leave a contact number,” he mumbled the last part.

You knew Bucky's disappearance was affecting him, even if he didn’t say anything. While Tony always tried to act tough in front of the team (you knew from Pepper that this wasn’t just with the team, Tony always made everyone think he didn’t care about anything really), Bucky’s addition to the Avengers had helped bring the whole team together after their break up. And knowing how much Tony cared about the team, you knew that he was grateful for Bucky.

“Thank you, Tony,” you said, sending him a sad smile. He returned it and nodded.

Three weeks had gone by since Bucky’s disappearance and there was no trace of him yet. It was as if he had disappeared from the face of the earth, like a ghost.

You visited the Avengers facility as often as you could, but on the days you couldn't make it because of work or family problems, Steve called to give you a recap of what they had done in efforts of recuperating Bucky.

Today was one of the days that you knew you couldn’t make it to the compound. You had just gotten off of work and were making your way home. Two trains and 20 minutes of your time was usually what it took to get home, but on later nights the time to get home almost doubled.

Finally stepping out of the train (and regaining your phone service after being underground for so long) you noticed your phone began to ring. Steve’s name popped up on your screen, but quickly disappeared before you could slide the phone open. You quickly rushed down the last couple of streets to your apartment before calling Steve back.

You waited anxiously for Steve to answer, your phone pressed between your shoulder and your ear as you were unlocking the door to your apartment.

“Y/N.” Steve didn’t have to say anything other than your name in order for you to know that they found something.

“What is it Steve? I’m sorry I didn’t answer, the train was taking a while and--”

“We found him Y/N.” “What?”

“We found out where they’re keeping Bucky. We’re going to go get him.”

Your breathing was getting heavy again, but you tried hard to control it. “Who’s going?”

“Sam, Tony, Natasha, Wanda, Scott, and I will be going. Clint, Rhodey, Bruce and Vision will be staying behind just in case.”

“When will you be leaving?” While talking to Steve you moved to pack yourself a bag with clothes for a couple of days.

“We’re leaving right now Y/N, I tried calling you before but you wouldn’t answer.”

“I’m sorry Steve, I wasn’t able to pick up the phone. Do you think Tony can send a car to come pick me up?”

“Pick you up? Why?”

“I need to go to the compound, Steve. I might not be qualified to go on the mission, but I want to be there for anything you guys need. Plus, I won’t be alone. I’ll have Bruce, Vision, Rhodey, and Clint to keep me company.”

You hear Steve sigh, but you knew he couldn’t say no to you. Over the past months that you had been with Bucky, Steve had turned into that older brother you never had.

“Fine. The car will be there in fifteen minutes.”

“Thanks Steve.”

…

You sat outside in the balcony of the Avengers compound, the chilly breeze and clear night sky your only companions.

Being without Bucky these last couple of months had been difficult, to say the least. You weren’t the kind of girl who couldn’t survive without a man. No, you always told yourself that you were independent and strong. But Bucky was more than just your partner. He was your best friend, your lover, your boyfriend, and quite honestly, the love of your life. So being without him, not knowing if he was okay, was killing you.

“Where are you Bucky?” you asked out to the moon. It clearly didn’t have an answer for you, but you thought about how the same moon you were currently looking at was the same one Bucky could be watching. And for some reason, that made you feel closer to him, even though you had no idea where he could possibly be.

Tears started rolling down your cheeks, and suddenly all of the emotions you had been holding in for the past few weeks since you’d found out Bucky had gone missing came pouring out.

“Come back to me Bucky. Please.”

…

Your heart stopped beating two days later.

Bucky was back, and while he wasn’t under total mind control, he wasn’t completely okay.

“He’s going to need some time to re-adjust to everything Y/N,” Steve told you.

“I know Steve. I just, I have to see him.”

Steve nodded and led you into Bucky’s bedroom at the compound. Before he had gone missing, Bucky would spend most of his time at your apartment, so most of his clothes and personal items were there. So seeing Bucky sitting on his bed, looking around his mostly bare room, it broke your heart.

Steve cleared his throat, catching Bucky’s attention. Bucky’s eyes landed on you, and you felt your eyes start to well up with tears.

“Y/N’s here to see you Buck.” Steve patted your shoulder before making his way to leave the room. “I’ll leave you to alone. I’ll be in the main room if you guys need anything.”

Steve left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

“H-hey Bucky. It’s me, Y/N,” you said, speaking barely above a whisper, but knowing perfectly well Bucky heard you.

Bucky blinked a couple of times before standing up and slowly making his way towards you. He stopped when he was standing directly in front of you, taking your right hand in his metal one. You looked down to see your hands together, a few tears escaping your eyes when you felt his thumb rub against your palm.

“Hi.” It was a simple word, but it was one you were waiting to hear for weeks.

You hugged Bucky, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you buried your face in his chest, his arms moving to hold your waist and back, pulling you closer to him. You were crying openly into his chest, quiet sobs escaping from you as you held tighter onto him.

“There’s nothing to be scared of, okay? I’m right here.” (16)

And you knew that he was right. Because the worst thing that could happen had happened, but the two of you were back together. Bucky was okay and he was back.

Bucky had been staying in your apartment every day since the day he got back, which was almost a week ago, and tonight was no different. After explaining to your boss that you had a family emergency, she had given you a couple of weeks off of work.

Bucky was taking a shower in your bathroom when you received a call from your brother. Jason didn’t usually call this late in the day, so you decided to answer in order to make sure everything was okay.

“Hello?”

“Y/N hey!” your brother sounded worried.

“Hey Jason what’s up?”

“Y/N, Wanda explained what happened with Bucky.” Wanda and your brother got along well, so it was no surprise to hear that she had informed Jason of the reason (or at least part of the reason) you hadn’t called home in almost a month. “We were just worried and wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m fine Jason, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Mom and dad and I were talking, and we think you should stay away from James for a bit.”

Now this took you by surprise. “What are you talking about?”

“It’s just, he was away for a while, and you don’t know what those people did to him. Look Y/N, I’m not telling you to break up with the guy, but maybe take some time away from him you know? At least until everyone is sure he’s alright.”

“Okay, first of all, neither you or mom and dad would be able to convince me to break up with Bucky. Even if you guys had set your minds on not having me with him, I wouldn’t break up with him. You can’t tell me when I can and can’t see him Jason.”

“Look Y/N, don’t take it in a bad way, we’re just concerned that —”

“There’s nothing to be concerned about Jason. How do you think I felt the entire time that he was missing? I was devastated! I felt like if a part of me had been ripped away because it had been. Bucky needs me, and I need him, so I won’t just ‘take some time away from him’ only because you and mom and dad think it’s dangerous for me.”

And with that, you hung up the phone.

“He’s right you know.”

You turned to see Bucky standing in the doorway that led from the bathroom into your room. His hair was still wet and he was only wearing sweatpants, his arms crossed across his bare chest.

“How much of that did you hear?”

“Enough to know that your family is right. I’m a danger waiting to happen.”

You made your way to Bucky, uncrossing his arms and grabbing his hands in yours.

“There’s something that they, and apparently you, don’t understand Buck. You’ve become someone irreplaceable in my life. And just like I would help them if they were in this situation, I’m going to help you. You’ve been here for me for many occasions: every time work became too much, every time my family issues got out of hand, and anytime my anxiety got the best of me. And I honestly have no way to pay you back for that.”

“You don’t have to pay me back Y/N, you know I do that because I love you.” Bucky gripped your hands tighter, smiling at you.

“And I love you,” you whispered. “So let me help you.”

Bucky pressed a kiss to your forehead, leaning his face into your hair.

“You’re the best thing that’s happened to me doll.”

#bee's 2.1k challenge #bucky barnes x reader #marvel imagines #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #steve rogers #the winter soldier #marvel #captain america

14 notes · View notes