i am awake enough to make messed up baby based on how sleep deprived brain feels

this is Ever Changing Shapes and Ideals they live in honk honk silly clown universe where nothing makes sense because their brain is literally ever changing shapes

if you want to know stupid lore i made with sleep deprived brain here you go

some ancient was like “hey maybe if we modify the neurons to be able to change shape and stuff they’ll evolve into neurons that store information better” and some other was like “dude you’re a genius i bet that’s exactly what will happen it’ll be awesome.”

ECSI’s neurons just turn into random stuff they see and think about. doesn’t even have to be full creatures sometimes ECSI just thinks about like cyan lizard tail patterns and some neuronflies are like that’s me now or thinks hmm ball of yarn welp ball-of-yarnflies. in most cases they barely function as said creatures and are very volatile, changing shape often. but when they have legs they sure can move, and when they have teeth they sure can bite.

the ideas of max karma and ascension don’t do a lot though because it doesn’t actually know the solution or anything so it’d just be jumbled thoughts relating to it, like the symbol for max karma and stuff

very inconvenient. not what the ancients wanted. as you may have guessed yeekflies and other neuronbominations are not good at processing. ECSI is always a little um. a little silly

everyone has to have an incomprehensible blourdo yknow

yknow the like monomon lore tablets? their thoughts and words are like that

anyways the neurons, now with legs sometimes, scampered all over their facility and out into the big wide world. they got not only into ECSI’s chamber, but out to their wall.

most die when they leave but luckily ECSI’s neurons divide and die rapidly because there’s so many problems just everything’s wrong i don’t know how to explain it more there’s so many things wrong with them..

anyway anyway when they escaped the facility and were no longer constantly bouncing off other neuron ideas, the neurons that lived often mimicked the creatures around them and were relatively stable. they’re very solitary because the more neuronflies are together the more volatile they are, but on their own they can mimic multiple creatures traits at once to create horrifying beasts

basically everything is wrong with them and the world around them

also pronouns um i’m just calling them them but they literally could not care less tbh

they are often distressed when they think too much but try to keep power levels low so they literally cannot think as much. they literally have too many neurons so the only way to lower neuron activity is to lower activity in general.

usaully agitation distresses them but they still appreciate occasional messages from other iterators rather than just sitting in solitude with their own thoughts. even though the brain may be in pain it’s better to get a headache while having fun than to have a headache while having a loneliness insanity spiral

they do not know what rot is but a few of their neurons becoming rot for a bit and eating some of the excess.. i think they’d like the concept

Simple Ch. 7 (Loki x F!Reader)

I hope you guys enjoyed the somehow fluffy, easy going start, cuz this is where that part ends. Welcome to my nightmare.

Masterlist

Summary: Tony and the Avengers are in desperate need of something like a “babysitter” to have an eye on Loki and teach him “how to human”. He decided to stay on Midgard over the dungeons of Asgard as punishment for his deeds in New York. That’s where you swoop in. A simple receptionist at the Avengers compound. You have to share an apartment in the compound with Loki and damn, he’s a really tough nut. With your open and kind character it seems that you are slowly cracking his shell. But suddenly things are getting twists that will change your life and your relationships there irreversibly.

Story rating: M

Chapter trigger warnings: torture, humiliation, death, harming, drugging, angst, panic, captivity, traumatization (if I didn’t add something I didn’t think of, let me know pls)

Words: 3516

7

The first thing breaking into your consciousness was the hell of a headache. Awfully slowly your mind clicked back into state. It felt like it took hours. The cold from the coarse concrete surface beneath you started to make your skin go numb. That made you realize that you were naked. Completely. Suddenly your brain began to rush. Wide awake you fumbled around since you were in pure darkness. No single spot of light. Not even the little green spot on the bracelet Tony gave you. The moment the hope rose was the moment it died. When it was not working they were not able to locate you. But at least they were not able to take the vibranium bracelet off your arm. You were happy they didn't just chop off your hand. Your body was now on code red. Every sense was fully there to get the situation. You tried so hard to take a deep breath and calm down at least a little bit. Carefully you let your hands slide over the ice cold ground around you. No indication for the size of the room. Only the sounds you made told you it was a big one, though not empty due to the echoing. Warily you stood up and you suppressed a moan as your head answered the movement with a heavy droning.

Touching down your body you confirmed what you felt at first, you weren't wearing a single piece of clothing. Instinctively you covered your sensitive areas with arms and hands and stood there, totally out of concept. Tears came running down your cheeks without you noticing them. You turned your head around in the dark to maybe find any source of light but were disappointed. You heard a far thud from the left side behind you and immediately turned to that direction. Panic rising within you, you carefully stepped backwards, away from that sound, reaching a hand out behind you to feel any obstacles before you would trip and fall over them. The soft patting of your sweaty feet on the crumbly surface was unnaturally loud in your ears. It felt like you were going backwards into the unknown for kilometers. You almost let out a gasp as you finally bumped into some kind of machine behind you. You turned to palpate it but you had no idea of any machines so couldn't identify it. You surrounded the cold, iron giant in front of you and followed its figure. You came to the conclusion you had to be in some sort of factory because the big machine was connected to a conveyor. You wanted to follow the route of the conveyor but only could take like three steps before you bumped again into something. Into someone. You audibly sucked air into your lungs in shock. The fact that the person didn't react at all was not making it better. You turned into the other direction to get away but was stopped mid-movement by another person you ran into. Panic making you drowsy you turned to the side where you assumed was no machine standing, but the same happened. You retreated towards the machine until you felt the cold iron screws and levers poking you in the back. You fumbled to find the start of the conveyor and assumed that there was a gap beneath it and abruptly ducked away and under the conveyor. Your flight instincts kicking in you were ready to run despite the fact you couldn't see one damn thing. You couldn't believe you were right and there actually was space beneath it and were almost on the other side as a strong and rough hand grabbed you by the ankle and dragged you back. You couldn't help but scream and kick in any direction, only hurting yourself as you hit against the props of the conveyor. Your fingers tried to dig into the concrete floor but you only scratched up your nails until they were bleeding. The rough floor almost grated your skin. Another hand pulled you up onto your feet by grabbing your hair. Two more hands took your arms and twisted them behind your back. You were pushed forwards, forced to walk if you didn't want the person holding you to stomp you down. You hissed and screamed questions that were left answered with silence. Your head was violently pulled up and held aside as another injection was thrust into your neck. You felt dizzy and your body turned slightly numb, but did not lose conscious. Your vision changed. You had to blink a few times before your surroundings were enlightened. You realized there never has been any darkness, you were simply blinded. You felt so sick you just wanted to throw up and pass out. You had to cough and retch, pressed your eyes shut, the now bright light stinging in your brain like thin, hot needles. Carefully you opened your eyes as you had your head tilted down and the first thing you saw was your naked and bruised body. Bringing your knees together to cover at least anything you slowly looked up. A tall man stood in front of you, smiling down on you. His gaze wandering over you sent million disgusting shivers down your spine.

"So, you are the long lost Stark child." He had an European accent, German maybe. His smile turned into a grin. "You are not in best shape, I have to admit." He studied every inch of your skin which made you wanting to claw it right off your body. You felt tears dripping off your jawbone. "Luckily your physical state does not matter. At least you woke up, you were unconscious for almost three hours, although it should be just one. I'll have to take a note for further medication." He turned on his heels and addressed to the men holding you, "Bringt sie ins Labor. Wir haben Arbeit zu erledigen."

After you were dragged through lots of doors and corridors you entered a laboratory. It was clean white and looking overly sterile. Persons in white lab coats and protective masks stopped and turned their heads as you were forced into a big chair with movable spots around it, like a dentist's chair. Dozens of unknown eyes watched you getting shackled into the chair. You tried to tilt your pelvis backwards and pressed your knees together as far as possible so you maybe could hide this spot from the curious views since you had to accept that your bare torso was on display. You were strapped into the chair at so many spots that it was almost impossible to move one centimeter. The men that dragged you here left the room and one of the white lab persons approached you. You tried to talk but the former injection had turned your tongue into lead meanwhile. You could do nothing but watch these robotic acting persons work on you. They shaved the left and right side of your head and placed electrodes on the pale skin, only leaving a broad stripe of hair on the middle of your head. Tears dripped on your thighs as you watched our hair softly falling down besides you like in slow motion. They pierced your arm to get a vascular access and stuck more electrodes along your sternum and on the sides of your ribcage. The lab people were extremely careful and cautious not to touch you even slightly more than necessary. They strictly avoided eye contact. Monitors were rolled into the room and connected with the meanwhile numerous cables from your body. Then, all in a sudden, every single person left the room. You sat there, strapped and muted, naked and frightened to death. You were not able to catch one clear thought, your brain swam in a soup of adrenaline and tranquilizers. All you heard was the echo of the words 'the lost Stark child'. You just closed your eyes and tried to stop the world from turning so fast. Your system was almost knocking out when someone grabbed you by your left over hair and pulled your head up. Lazily you blinked at the blinding light. Your eyes could not focus correctly, you saw the shadowy silhouette of a person. Shortly after a cold liquid shot up the veins of your arm everything clicked into place. In front of you sat the man who ordered to bring you here.

"So, Y/N, finally we found you. Took us really long to figure out you actually did not die in the accident. Well, that was what we wanted from the beginning, so it worked out, but we were tricked and couldn't get our hands on you. But luckily, it doesn't matter anymore." He slipped into white rubber gloves. "I'm so sorry to sound stereotypical, but this can go two different ways; an easy one and a hard one. You are free to choose." He turned around to pick a syringe with a purple liquid and added it to the infusion bag connected to your arm. "But first of all, that you are even capable of answering the questions, we will help you remember."

Cold sweat was dripping on your thighs, falling down from your face. Your breathing became shallow as you felt awfully slowly how your surroundings began to blur and you fell into the deep, black void.

Your muscles tensed up to an incredibly painful level as millions of memories rushed over you out of the blue. Things you saw for the first time since you have been 11 years old but could immediately feel the moment again. The atmosphere, the feelings, the voices, the smiles and the tears. Absolutely everything your mind had tried to lock up forever was pulled violently into the blinding light. It was so familiar and so strange at the same time. You saw the beautiful smile of your mother, softly stroking your cheek. The loud and hearty laugh of your father as you said something sassy. The back of the head of your uncle as you sat on his shoulders, running through your garden. He took you off his shoulders to hold you up into the sky, screeching of fun and joy, and as you looked down you looked into the happy face of a young Tony Stark. Uncle Tones. That was too much for your brain and it did the last thing it could do to protect yourself from freaking out; it turned everything off. Tony's face fading in front of your eyes, you felt your whole body turning limp before it all went dark.

Your sleep was dull and dreamless, a blessing for your overstimulated system. You were tugged back to consciousness, everything felt numb. They let you sleep in sitting position and you carefully lifted your head. Your neck should've hurt terribly but you just didn't feel anything. You looked around and saw your captor sitting at one of the desks watching a screen, turning around to you.

"Oh good, you are awake." He rolled over to you on his office chair. The noise of the small plastic wheels was nearly unbearable for your ears. "Hope you had some nice rest, you are not getting any more of it for quite a while now." He tapped on one of the monitors next to you. "I am turning down your painkillers and tranquilizers now. In a few minutes you should feel everything and be able to speak again. Nothing I would look forward to if I were in your situation." He now faced you directly. "My name is Dr. Daniel Fieberbrunn. I am the chief physician of the Hydra facility you are held in recently. I am continuing the mission my father started. He was killed by one of our own soldiers. A real tragedy. The soldier had to get readjusted and the mission was paused. But now, so many years later, I get the honor to revive it since our spies at the compound found out you are the presumed dead child of Marlena Stark. Your parents were killed by one of our soldiers and his mission also included to leave you alive and bring you to us. Why, you may ask. Well, after my father found out Howard Stark had another child, a daughter, he started research on her and her husband. Soon after we eliminated Howard Stark, Tony Stark found out about her. We've been watching you for years already to find out if you were of any use for Hydra. Stark tried very hard to keep his sister and her family dark to protect them. Pathetic. Finally, as you turned 10, my father found evidence of what he was sure. He wanted to obtain you to form you in young years. But it looked like our soldier failed at the mission and you died as well. He went missing for several months before he reappeared at our base out of nowhere. When my father confronted the soldier with his failure he lost temper and killed him. But the soldier was very valuable for Hydra so instead of getting eliminated he got readjusted. I heard it is not much better than getting killed, so I'm satisfied with that. Of course I will not tell you what my father believed to see in you. Not yet." He looked at his watch. "Alright, any second your physical senses should come back to life. I hope I answered enough questions to keep you quiet and cooperating, so we can speed things up. I neither have the empathy nor the patience to deal with a whiny, confused girl. Ah, I see the medication stop shows up."

His lips formed a small smile as you started to feel every bruise, cramped muscle, the sores beneath the shackles. You coughed and retched as you tried to speak.

"Why? Why are you doing this?" Your voice was a mere, husky whisper.

Your opponent rolled his eyes. "As I already said, we want to form you so you will be useful for us. You will help us to finally bring peace and order to the world. If you ask another question I already told you the answer of, I will have to punish you. I don't have time for such chatting."

"I'm not 10 anymore, you cannot form me into anything I don't want to be."

His answer was a loud laugh. "You simply have no idea of what we can do."

"I'm the most regular person you can imagine. Just a simple woman. I'm of no use for you. What should I have that is of interest?"

He sighed and pulled out a scalpel. Before you could react he grabbed your face with an incredibly tight grip and drew a deep cut from your eyebrow across your eyelid to the edge of your malar bone, almost splitting your eyelid in two. You cawed into his ear since your voice was not capable of screaming already. Warm blood ran down your face and dripped onto your thigh, forming a growing puddle between your legs. The sharp pain was so intense, it almost paralyzed you. All you could do was breathe and cry. The blood blurred the vision of your left eye. As you tried to blink the pain peaked to an intolerable rate.

"I told you I'm not gonna tell you what is special about you. Another thing like that and I will blind the other eye. Then I will tear it out of your skull and replace it with an artificial eyeball."

You had no idea what to do. You were in complete and utter distress.

"What do you want from me?" You wheezed.

"At first, tell me everything about the accident. I want accurate answers. You are allowed to take your time. This will be not always the case. Make use of it."

It made your insides twist to only think of cooperating with them but you were so, so scared. You didn't want your eyeball replaced with an artificial one so they probably could survey you for the rest of your life, always seeing everything you would see. You tried to make up a plan to survive as long as possible until you were rescued. Rescued. That word echoed through your mind. You risked a little look at your bracelet. It was still there, firm and tight around your wrist, shining between the dull shackles, but the green gem was dark, like a usual jewelry. You pushed the thought aside that you would stay here for long. Hope was now the only thing that kept you alive. You sent a quick prayer and concentrated on your task.

The accident. You carefully closed your eyes, the pain from your left eye omnipresent in your thoughts. But you were able to recall. You were in the backseat, gazing out of the window as the dark silhouettes of trees flew by. It was at night, you were on the way to somewhere. Where to? You didn't know, Mom and Dad didn't tell you. They were in a hurry to get into the car. They didn't talk with each other, Mom wasn't even singing along the songs on the radio as she usually did. You didn't realized it before, but as you looked out of the window you saw a quick, small silver flashing between the trees just one second before the disaster happened. Mom was screaming, Dad hitting the brakes really hard, but too late. The car bumped over something, you heard a loud bang, the car overturned and slithered grating over the asphalt. You were screaming and crying. Dad didn't move at all. Mom coughed and turned to Dad, pure panic in her eyes. She looked back at you and started crying as she saw you were alive. She wanted to get to you but was ripped out of the car. You screamed high pitched but silenced immediately as you looked outside. You saw a dark person holding tight onto Moms head. His arm shone like silver in the moonlight. The screams of Mom grew louder and louder, you closed your eyes and pressed your hands on your ears. You heard the dull screaming until it abruptly stopped with a muffled, cracking sound. You dared to look again and just saw the metallic arm letting go of Mom, she fell to the ground. He picked her up again and put her back on her seat. Her head tilted to the side, towards you. You couldn't recognize her, you only saw empty staring eyes and blood. He walked around the car and checked on Dad, but didn't do anything with him. Then he stepped back and ripped out your door, tossing it behind like it was nothing. You were completely paralyzed by fear. You simply stared into his face, your whole body trembling. Half of his face was covered by a black mask, you only saw his eyes glancing at you through strands of dark hair. He tore out your safety belt with one easy move and grabbed you by the collar of your coat. He pulled you out of the car and held you in the air easily with his silver arm, eye to eye. You floundered with your feet, every movement hurt so much. You stared into his eyes, glowing brightly blue in the moonlight, filled with rage. You held onto his metallic arm, crying and breathing heavily. The angst causing your lungs to rattle. You managed to wheeze, "What... did you do... to Mom? Where's... Mom? I... I... can't... breathe..." You felt like you were asphyxiating. Automatically you reached into the pocket of your coat. The man immediately violently grabbed your hand and pulled it up again. His hold was so tight, making you scream as you felt your wrist cracking in his grip. He looked down as he heard something hitting the floor. As he saw your asthma inhaler lying there his face changed. He looked back at you again, his eyes wide and brows furrowed. It looked like he would process something. Like he recalled something he forgot. Slowly he put you back on your feet. You fell to the ground, unable to stand since your legs seemed severely injured. Half lying on the street, you reached out to fetch your inhaler and used it as the doctors had shown you as you first got it. Shortly after drawing breath became easier. You sat up and leant against the car. You could do nothing but cry. You whole body hurt. Mom and Dad were gone. You were surrendered to the mercy of their murderer, standing in front of you. You looked up at him, the tears blurring your view. All you managed to mutter was "Please don't kill me. Don't kill me. Please don't." You repeated it all over and over again. He looked at you, completely different expression in his eyes now. If you didn't knew better you would have said it was regret and panic. He knelt down and carefully picked you up. The pain of being moved with all your injuries was too much and you passed out. You thought you heard him say something before all went dark, it sounded like "I'm sorry."

Taglist: @it-jinxed-us​, @humbledarkness​, @lunawitch19, @redryderdesigns​

Best Friends, No Matter What

(A Winn Schott fanfiction, acknowledging the beautiful friendship between Kara Danvers and Winn Schott)

Winn sat alone in his apartment, eyes focused blankly on the empty wall across the room from him. The daylight shining in from the windows was long gone, and the clock read '2:47AM'. His mind still raged with memories of his father, both recent and from the distant past. He had spent his entire life trying to separate himself from his father, but now he knew. Nothing he did could ever erase the truth. 

He was Winslow Schott Jr., son of Winslow Schott Sr., also known as the notorious Toyman. Now everyone knew. James, Miss Grant...Kara.

Kara.

Winn closed his eyes as he thought about her, half in pain and half in longing. Ever since he had met her, he had considered the two of them a match made in heaven. They were both undeniably kind, a little on the geeky side, and most importantly cared about others and believed in doing the right thing. 

He was in love with her, he couldn't deny it. Kara Danvers, his weakness. So many things about her made him love her. Her genuine, beautiful smile...those dark-framed glasses that she was would always push up her nose when she was concentrating...and most of all her secret identity that she first revealed to only him.

Supergirl.

Winn had kissed her earlier, as she consoled him about his father. She had been so beautiful in that light, and he just couldn't resist the temptation any longer, even knowing that she was madly in love with James Olsen. But that look that she’d had after pulling away two seconds after their lips met...Winn couldn’t wipe it out of his memory.

It had been almost...disgusted.

Winn’s tortured thoughts were interrupted as his body was unexplainably attacked by a harsh coughing fit that lasted several minutes. When it finally ceased, he was doubled over as his abdomen flared with pain and his throat burned intensely. Winn straightened up slowly before having to immediately stretch out on the couch as an agonizing headache ignited from his forehead.

He lay helplessly for a time, delirium beginning to take over his mind. He was extremely hot, and then moments later he would be unspeakably freezing. A cold sweat filtered through his body, and he shivered, teeth chattering. Winn yanked his old wool blanket that hung on the back of the sofa and threw it carelessly over his body, curling into a fetal position.

His brain ached with exhaustion and his eyelids drooped, but despite his strong desire for sleep, it just wouldn’t come. Still, he could do nothing except lie there. 

Lie there yearning for the woman who would never love him back.

“James, have you seen Winn anywhere today?” Kara asked, poking her head into the man’s office. Her cheeks flared with heat as his eyes met hers, even though most of her focus was on her best friend’s absence. She was worried about him, to say the least, especially after what had happened between them.

“Don’t think so.” James replied, his brow furrowing in concern. “You think he’s okay? Considering everything that went down recently?”

“That’s what I’m worried about.” Kara replied, once again digging out her cell phone and dialing Winn’s number again. She pressed the phone to her ear and made her way back into the hall. Miss Grant would notice her absence sooner or later. 

“Eyy, this is Winn. Leave a message.”

“Winn. This is my fifth message, where the hell are you? Miss Grant is not going to be happy if she realizes you’re missing. Call me back.”

“Keera, my office!”

Kara overheard Miss Grant’s call for assistance and she sighed, shoving her phone back into her pocket and scurrying as fast as she could to her boss’s office.

“Yes, Miss Grant?”

“Where is your little friend? I’m having trouble with my computer and I need him.” Miss Grant told her loftily, eyes not even leaving the screen as she spoke.  

“Well…” Kara began awkwardly. “I don’t know?”

That was enough to get Cat’s attention. “Then find him.” She said, staring down Kara and speaking as if it were the easiest task in the world. 

“I…uh, haven’t seen him at work today…and I’ve been kind of worried about him lately with everything about Toyman…” And our kiss. Kara thought, wincing internally at the memory as she pictured the crushed look in her friend’s eyes.

Miss Grant sighed, as if the situation was a great inconvenience, and raised her eyebrows at her personal assistant. “Very well, then, Keera, you may check up on Toyman Jr., but be back before my lunch break.”

“Yes, Miss Grant.” Kara said breathlessly, already halfway out the door.

“Winn? Winn.” Kara pounded harder on his apartment door. She’d been standing there for five minutes and he still hadn’t answered the door. She waited a second more, listening, but heard nothing from within. And then she instructed her eyes to burn, to see through to the other side. And what she saw caused a pit to form in her stomach.

Immediately, she jumped into action. Kara grabbed ahold of the door handle and pulled as hard as she could, hoping she could force it open with her brute strength. But in her panic, she pulled too hard and the entire door was ripped away from its hinges.

She barely stopped to assess the damage, rushing to her friend, who lay dead asleep and unhealthily pale on the couch with a wool blanket hanging off his unmoving body. “Oh, no…” Kara whispered, kneeling beside him. “Winn.” He didn’t stir, and she rested a hand on his shoulder, noting with relief that his chest still moved up and down in the steady rhythm of sleep. “Hey.” She shook him gently, trying to coax him to consciousness. “Winn, wake up.” His eyelids fluttered slightly, but didn’t open.

Kara then noticed the sheen of sweat that coated his face, and she pressed the back of her hand to his forehead. “Oh, Winn…you’re burning up.” She murmured to her sleeping friend. “Okay…” Kara said to herself, abandoning her effort to wake him and instead taking action to care for him. She took a pillow and gently lifted his head, which rested only against the uncomfortable arm of the sofa, and propped him up a bit against the pillow. Kara grabbed hold of the blanket that was nearly falling off him and once more settled it across his legs and over his chest, tucking it at the sides so it stayed in place.

Even these two simple actions caused him to relax it seemed, and Kara smiled sadly down at him for a few precious seconds. After settling a damp, cool cloth against Winn’s flaming forehead, Kara pulled a chair up beside him and fished out her phone, dialing James’s number and settling back.

The other man picked up immediately. “Kara? Where are you? Cat’s been asking for you.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Kara grumbled, trying to keep her voice low. “Listen…she sent me out to find Winn, and he’s not doing so hot. He’s got a fever, and I’m worried it could be the flu. Could you do me a favor and tell Cat I’m calling in for the day? I can deal with the consequences tomorrow. 

“Of course. Let him know that I tell him to feel better, okay?"

“Thank you, James.” Kara said, smiling slightly before ending the call and focusing on Winn again. I think condolences from James is the last thing he'd want to hear. Already she could see color returning to his face, but he showed no signs of waking anytime soon. Kara was glad for that. If he was sick, he needed all the rest he could get.

And she would be there for him when he woke up.

 It was a couple hours before Winn began to surface to consciousness. He had slipped into an even deeper sleep after Kara had made sure he was cared for and comfortable, and she had been convinced that he would sleep all day.  

So when his eyes slowly opened, glazed with fever and exhaustion, Kara could help but huff out in surprise. But she immediately lowered her voice to speak to him as his eyes focused on her 

“Hey, Winn…” Kara murmured softly, gently pressing the back of her hand to his forehead. It was still sweltering and his body seemed to be radiating heat. 

“Wha’s happenin’...? Kara?” Winn mumbled. “Is this a dream? Are you real?” 

Kara laughed lightly. “Quite real, I assure you.” She tenderly brushed his sweat-soaked strands from his forehead and rested her fingers in his hair. “How do you feel?”

“Sleepy…” He replied quietly, his voice almost inaudible. His eyes were half-open, but still focused on her. He coughed laboriously and sniffed, wincing as if his head ached terribly.

“Can you stay awake for a few minutes?” Kara asked. He gave a small nod and Kara stood. “You have any chicken noodle soup?”

“Want chicken wild rice…” Winn muttered, eyes closed all the way now. Kara let him doze off again as she made her way into the kitchen. It only took a couple minutes for her to pour the soup and heat it up with her heat vision. In seconds, it was steaming. 

Winn was half asleep as she fed him the soup. He only powered through about six spoonfuls before he turned his head away in disgust. “No more?” Kara guessed, regarding the furrowing of his brows, amused. He shook his head, already settling back down into the pillows. “Get some sleep.”

She didn't have to say it twice. In just seconds, he was passed out.

Her crystal blue eyes stared into his, filled with love for him and only him. His hands cradled her face and her fingers caressed the nape of his neck. Winn tucked a lock of her golden hair behind her ear and she narrowed her eyes, smiling shyly. 

“I love you, Kara Danvers.” Winn murmured, pulling her close to him. Her grin widened and she surprised him with a long, passionate kiss that caused his heart to flutter. 

“And I you, Winn Schott.” Kara nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck and rested against him. “I want to wake up with you every day for rest of my life.” She whispered, one hand caressing the hair on top of his head.

“Ditto.” Winn replied, causing her to giggle.

The warmth of her touch and the comfort of her presence lulled Winn and he soon found his eyelids getting heavy. Kara's chest moved up and down against him in the rhythm of sleep.

Winn relaxed even more and rested his cheek against the crown of Kara’s head and closed his eyes, drifting to sleep with his arms around the woman he loved.

The moment Winn fell asleep in the dream world, he was jolted to the pain of reality. His head pounded as if someone was ramming a hammer against his skull and his stomach churned uncomfortably. He winced, shifting, which directed Kara’s attention to him.

“Winn? I gotta go, James. He’s awake. Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” The shy smile on her face was enough to stab Winn in the heart. She had had that same smile for him and only him in his dream. “Hey…” Kara greeted him quietly, taking his hand in hers. “How do you feel?”

Winn stared down at their interlocked fingers and tears began to inexplicably well in his eyes. Kara noticed and shock was evident on her face. “Winn? What’s wrong? Hey…” She kneeled down beside him and took his face with her free hand. A tear slipped down his cheek and Kara wiped it away with her thumb. “Shh...it’s okay. Just tell me what's wrong. 

“I…” Winn began, voice raspy. He stopped speaking and just closed his eyes as more tears escaped his eyes. He silently cried and Kara sat with him, stroking his cheek tenderly.

“Do you want to go to your bed?” Kara asked quietly, after a time had passed and his tears had dried. All he could do was nod. “Okay. C’mere.” She laced an arm around his shoulders and helped him sit up. That was when he took her back in his arms, as he had in his dream, and just cherished the feeling once again. Kara yelped in surprise, but willingly accepted his embrace, tightly squeezing him back. She pulled away and smiled. “You gonna be okay?”

Winn nodded, feeling almost worse after the tears had stopped. He knew, after he recovered and overpowered his emotions, he wouldn’t be able to even look at Kara the same again. Maybe someday, but not any day soon. For now, though, he treasured her presence 

Kara supported him to his bedroom and helped him lie down. Winn couldn’t hardly think as he settled back against his pillows. A coughing fit overcame him and he lay powerless after it subsided, too exhausted to do much else. She sat on the edge of the mattress beside him and took his hand once again. He looked up at her with heavy-lidded eyes, and she seemed to finally see what was wrong.

“It was about the other night, wasn’t it?” Kara murmured. Winn blinked in response. She looked down, obvious pain in her eyes. Pain caused by the fact that no matter how hard she wanted to, she couldn’t give him what he wanted. “Listen…” She trailed off, interlocking her fingers with his and squeezing his hand. “I may not love you the way you want me to, but, Winn, I promise you that I will always love you, no matter what.”

“Me too.” Winn mumbled after a beat, his voice sleepy and a groggy smile on his face. “Friends? 

“Best friends.” Kara corrected as his eyes closed all the way. “No matter what.”

Winn drifted to sleep knowing that his best friend would always be there for him, and that alone made him happy.