#i feel sick lowkey but like | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bonnieisaway · 4 months

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anyways while I was editing earlier we have almost a precise ranking of power for the shadow killers despite most of them not actually ever saying/their official ranking never been mentioned. and most of this is either just mentioned in passing or can be guessed from the way the show presents them. up to season 4 spoilers ahead btw

so like, obviously Seven (in his prime, at least - do you think the second spot ever took his when he disappeared btw? like do you think there was a time where he was just labelled missing for ages before somebody else became number one?) was rank number one, it's said and talked about like a million times, Seven was conclusively the highest ranked and most powerful shadow killer by 18 years old.

along with this we hear one other thing: Green Phoenix is mentioned to be the (physically) weakest Shadow Killer. given how much people are sticklers for the rankings we can presume this puts him at the lowest of the seven, even if he chose to appear weaker than he is and his focus is majorly on cunning and wit rather than martial prowess, I assume this is where he's offically ranked honestly

everyone else has never had their number mentioned - or if it was said in some obscure place i don't know it's not on the wiki, but let's be fucking for real nothing is on the wiki seriously one of us might wanna update that thing one day anyways - but I believe we can roughly guess where the rest of the killers rank given by their actions in the show and the order which the show presents them.

which - this might be a controversial one tbh - puts Redtooth fairly low on the list. he is physically more powerful than Green Phoenix, but Green Phoenix is able to outwit Redtooth twice, and Green Phoenix is technically the one who kills Redtooth. But also, Seven at fairly low strength was able to fight Redtooth and almost won on his own. Redtooth is also mentioned in season 4 that naturally, he was physically weak and actually struggled with picking up qi and such - he does not have a natural nor honed talent and his power ENTIRELY relies on the Blood Demon inside him. So he's easily outwitted, he's physically weak without the Blood Demon which, up until season 4 was still restrained heavily, Seven is able to handle him all the way back in season two. Notably, Dai Bo and the rest of the cast are unable to handle him however, even though most of them are built to handle aggressive opponents liked Redtooth.

But it's mainly the fact he appears and is 'defeated' so early in the show that makes me truly believe he ranks so low. Obviously we probably haven't seen the full capabilities of Redtooth and most of the cast however, and this is a ranking with the seal. Obviously he seems to be set up to absolutely rock White Fox's shit in season 5, but it's still really important to keep in mind that this is purely the Blood Demon.

after him the other shadow killer we have the most information on is Blackbird, who Seven ultimately beat into the fuckin ground but boy did we sure almost die getting there!!

So from what we know about Blackbird, from season three, is that unlike Redtooth, he is physically strong, and similar to Green Phoenix he's largely driven by his trauma and his need to validate something that's missing within him, but his weakness seems to really only be his own ego - his weakness (aside from the sun like a fucking vampire. cringelord) is when he can't win, when he is struggling, his frustration is ultimately his downfall. This is one of - if not the only - few fights where 'prime' Seven - or even just Seven as he is now - does not appear to be physically stronger than somebody, and he's actually just barely faster than Blackbird (being able to fucking FLY he's still got a bit of an advantage but Seven's reaction time is evidently quicker, and Blackbird comments that Seven's ambushes and speed used to be infamous - a prowess that Blackbird is almost capable to keep up with) but he wins the fight with wit and outsmarting them. And ultimately, Blackbird's weakness was himself.

Which is a lot to say he's really strong. But it's hard to place him anywhere on the leaderboard without a key thing that Manjusaka says:

"It seems you're the best after all," as she turns to Blackbird. This is (presumably) the direct translation, because in English Manjusaka actually says something different that I wanna touch on again later, but she turns to Blackbird and says he's the best after all. Which would imply: Blackbird took the spot for number one when Seven was missing. Blackbird had been second to Seven in the league - and some of his contempt for Seven may be because of that. This conclusively puts Blackbird in the number two spot for me.

The next three we have even less information on, so it's really hard to put them in precise spots. As for Manjusaka though we have this: she is very cunning and manipulative, and the other Shadow Killer we know to be infamous for their cunning and wit was the lowest ranked - because the ranks seem to have FAR more value in raw martial prowess and strength than wit. Along with this, Manjusaka never actually works alone. In English in season 3, when she turns to Blackbird, she says "I guess we're just better together," which puts a lot of emphasis on her working with somebody, and emphasis on the fact that she's USING the fact that Blackbird is so high rank so that she can be powerful by proxy. She's also the only one who seems to defend her other Shadow Killers - though they aren't immune to her own scrutiny, Manjusaka outright kills three people for shit-talking Redtooth.

Along with this - Manjusaka dies to Green Phoenix (coughprobablycough) and leaves her as an opponent Seven will never (probably) fight. The Shadow Killers have kept appearing in an order of higher and higher ranking, and Manjusaka is the third to ever appear, and of the three, ALL THREE have died and one came back. Just like, the order these characters have appeared in, they usually appear in increasing power and every season has ended with Seven fighting or about to fight a new, powerful Shadow Killer. Manjusaka dying already leaves her feeling fairly low ranked, given the pattern the show has exhibited.

Manjusaka is also tied to Shimen and are inseparable - what Shimen and Manjusaka lack the other make up for. Shimen appears slow yet viciously strong and stone faced, he's nothing but muscle and qi, and Manjusaka is fast and stealthy - she teleports around, she uses deception and poisons to best her enemies. They're also hardly ever depicted apart. They're only separated twice - when Shimen leaves the fight with Blackbird due to general disinterest, and when Shimen and Manjusaka split up in season 4.

(these two symbols fading into each other feel like they represent Manjusaka and Shimen)

They're constantly depicted together and fluently work together. They coordinate easily when that's not the normal for the Shadow Killers - infighting is banned and that's it, they aren't required to get along. But these two are two inseparable halves of one whole, they are both arguably strong on their own but they have glaring weaknesses that the other fills. Their weaknesses, to a point, are when they're separated. This also would seemingly put them next to each other on the ranking - together it feels like they make up one, unstoppable person, and it makes sense that separately they are at similar ranking/strength, just simply excel together, and weaker rankings would be the most likely to bond together to form stronger ones.

Not to mention, Manjusaka dies on screen at the end of the season four and that's it, and Shimen's fate is left entirely unknown because he doesn't appear again and only the leader approaches Green Phoenix. But during the opening for the entire season we see one shot of Shimen we never actually see during the season:

Shimen left alone and unconscious without Manjusaka. And he leaves the Blackbird fight unharmed, he obviously leaves the encounter with Ouyang Zang (is that his name ? straight up might've misspelled it sorry ) alive because he appears again afterwards, and it seems to imply that without Manjusaka, Shimen is left weak and vulnerable. So these two, to me, feel like they're exactly next to each other on the rankings - and possibly ranked somewhere in the middle

Which now only leaves White Fox, who we know the least about personality wise but we've seen some of his martial abilities (AKA: hey guys I can make a nitrogen bomb from my finger. wanna see) and watched him fight the prince of Stan, which does lead to the conclusion that he is fairly powerful, though it seems it's not really physical strength but his qi, speed, and reflexes that let him overpower his opponents. Given the rankings I've given the other Shadow Killers it naturally leaves him at a semi-high spot.

Which leaves me with my final (guesstimated) ranking of the Shadow Killers, with Seven during his prime, Redtooth's seal still not broken:

Seven

Blackbird

White Fox

Shimen

Manjusaka

Redtooth

Green Phoenix

Shimen and Manjusaka feel interchangeable in their spots, honestly? And I would almost put Redtooth above Manjusaka ...? But it kind of feels natural that he's below her. Also, I went back and skimmed the show to see if anybody else was introduced by ranking, given that a lot of people in the show had been previously, and I only found these scenes:

Which are all only labelled 'the seven greats' according to the translation, unless somebody here speaks Chinese and their rankings are actually said/implied in the Chinese characters and Netflix just didn't translate it which wouldn't even surprise me honestly Netflix just fucking does that sometimes

so yea 👍 that's my estimation on the rankings of the Shadow Killers maybe the show will prove me right eventually. this post took me like 2 hours to make. help

#scissor seven #killer seven #wu liuqi #seven #scissor 7 #analysis #manjusaka #blackbird #white fox #green phoenix #shimen #redtooth #bonnie is once again going stir crazy without content #absolutely nobody is surprised #honestly the rankings feel kind of weird #i supposed they're based only off kills or something similar.. ?#or maybe it's because we haven't seen the full potential of a lot of characters #but majusaka lowkey feels like she should be SO much lower #and shimen should be SO much higher #and i dont even know how redtooth truly is a shadow killer. i'm thinking the last one before redtooth called in sick /j #i mean they are all undoubtedly insanely powerful #i think just analyzing their combat and how theyre talked about for #the past 2 hours of my life has mentally isolated me from the fact that these are the 7 best in the world

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random-lil-illing · 3 months

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player appreciation week day 3: homeschool!!

okay so i know it was said in the last post that player doesnt get homework, but that was not what i meant to say haha. i wanted to say they didnt have homework that week, but usually their mom does give them (very little) homework. also player is bad at maths and hates triangles bc i hate triangles too and its MY comfort caharcter so i get to project my struggles onto them

#my art #art #digital art #finished art #fanart #carmen sandiego netflix #carmen sandiego player #carmen sandiego fanart #carmen sandeigo #carmen sandiego #carmen sandiego 2019 #csplayerweek2024 #cs player #player bouchard fanart #player bouchard #cs player fanart #also i know i keep changing their design but that bc i keep getting new ideas/hcs for them #one of my newest hcs is that they have absolutely shit eyesight bc of how much they stare at a screen all day #(its also why they have very glossy eyes) so now they have glasses :3 i gave them glasses that look like mine #bc i lowkey dont like my glasses so im giving player my glasses so i feel better about wearing them lol #also their shirt says 'gnawing at the bars of my enclosure ('bc i dont have enough enrichment' is on the back)'#and 'no im not crazy im just french' respectively lol. which reminds me i hc their mom to be quebecois so yeah theyre french to me #and yes devineaux is their uncle from their moms side you can fight me on this #anyway #enjoy the burnt food #<3 #bored duck rambles #cannibals rambles #sick rambles

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stillthesunkenstars · 3 months

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to groom or not to groom…. that’s the quastion .

#doctor who #braxiatel #irving braxiatel #gallifrey audios #romana ii #romana #romanadvoratrelundar #lowkey #I mean. Highkey #kinda cannot fathom brax pursuing romana without an inherent creepiness #and even then he’s more shaping her into a presidential candidate rather than.. as a target of romance.#I like sick relationships but this is not it for me lol #I mean I feel it’s more creepy when he’s using her as a pawn and doesn’t actively care about her wellbeing beyond sympathies #than if he’s going like ohh if I had a white charger romana can u tell that I hate that scene 😭#and all of the ooc memes that spawned off it to the point it skewed the perception of brax for a majority of the fandom #my art

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lemongogo · 8 months

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#yall ths art block is so bad its actually making me so stressed out😭😭😭#its been awful plenty of times before BUT THISSS???IT FEELS NEVER ENDINGGG #so fucking frustrating-__- and i was finally working on smth i had started to like yday #but i hit this mid point where i didnt know How 2 break thru from like .. rough > finished #and im like T__T . brah . head in my hands #IDK WHAT TO DOOOOOOO . < lamenting . < woe is me .#sry i luv talking abt it . its therapeutic tbh . what do u guys do when u are in this position #i also try to go back to basics and j do gesture studies until i feel more capable #but im like shakig the bars of my cage . let me do smt fun again. please ❤️ PLEASEE ❤️#i think part of it is also imposter syndrome whre like .. u see so many people u look up to doing so many cool things w their art #and its like . falling back into the trap of comparison and feeling like nothing u make can replicate the feeling of seeing those other #things ykwim🤔#sick in da head . i think its also a twt issue #like ever since i started posting on there ive been feeling like i have 2 make . quote unquote good things which . obviously dookie sentimen #bc any art is objectively good art there isnt like . U CANT BE BAD YKWIM HELP #but when i j posted to tumblr it was like . u send it off like slapping a horse on the ass and u see it ride away and its so lowkey #and fun.. the community here is so muchc fun .. j dont feel pressured here #smiles sweetly #<gi influence #maybe ill delete the app 4 a while until i feel normal again #guys we need to kill all social media #guys we need to go back to drawing sheep on rocks (<giotto ref(#if i had 2 elaborate ig it feels like . i am following the path of most resistance -__- like wading hesdstrong in2 waves that keep pushing #me back . theres so much i want to do Wish i could do but its like damn i can barely draw like two complete things over the course of 2-3 mo #from how HARD IT ISSS🚶and my aphantasia compounds it . fumbling arnd in a dark room hoping smth sticks #graa.. i think its the realization that i couldnt ever do art professionally bc im such an obstinate artist T_T #tbh saying all this now its like looking up in2 the eyes of all my art insecurities looming over me #CASTING 100 FT SHADOWWWW🧍#whteve . check back on me in 2 months hopefully i feel normal ab it then

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becca-e-barnes · 2 years

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omg that dbf pornstar!bucky drabble😩>> becca do you have anymore thots about him🙏

I always have thots about ps!dbf!bucky! 😏

Because I feel like that dick is addictive. Let's face it, you're gonna be daydreaming about it for weeks on end, good sex is so hard to forget.

I like to imagine it's pretty addictive for him too though because above all else, this sex is real. It's an opportunity for him to truly enjoy sex with a connection, rather than just scripted positions. It's grounded in real pleasure because neither of you are acting. You're kissing him because you want to kiss him. You're biting his shoulder because that's what feels right to you in that moment. You're asking for what you want next. Nothing is scripted; nothing is expected and that's such a different set up to what he's used to.

When you first start hooking up, the sex is bound to be so frantic. It's like the lust just bubbles over all of a sudden and your lips are on his while you try to get each other out of your clothes as quickly as possible. And that's nice! It feels good even just to get to take your clothes off because that's not something he has to do at work.

"You're so pretty, angel." He whispers, kissing down your neck so slowly. It's even nice to just get a chance to whisper because he doesn't get that in the studio. You're the only person that can hear him right now and it nearly gives him a kind of thrill. He doesn't have to think about tensing his muscles and looking his best, he can show you an intimate kind of sex where he's a lot less guarded and self conscious.

"Bucky..." You whine, your head thrown back, giving his mouth complete access to your throat.

"I know baby, I know. You're so needy. I bet you're ready for me already." A hand drifts under your skirt, up to your panties, rubbing you like he owns your cunt. His confidence makes you squirm and his gentle hum of approval leaves you wanting to squeeze your thighs together. You know you're soaked but it's almost embarrassing that he knows it now too.

"You've never had a man touch you like this before, have you blossom? You've never had someone who knows what you need and knows how to give it to you. Used to tell you all the time to stop dating those stupid boys." The pressure he's applying with his fingertips on your clothed pussy is perfect while you shake your head no. He's firm but considerate, letting you press yourself desperately against him in an effort to take more.

"They had no idea how you like to be touched, did they? And honestly sweetheart, neither do I. I don't know what you like yet. But I can promise you, I'm gonna work it out. I'll try everything we can think of. How does that sound? Just keep you in bed for a couple of days. I bet we could find things you didn't even realise you were into. That sound like a good idea?" His voice is calm and measured, his breath hot on your neck and his suggestion sounds pretty damn perfect.

He loses his cool a little when you nod quickly. You're as keen on this as he is and it's that mutual excitement at the prospect of some more really good sex that makes this even better for him.

#asks answered <3 #anon #becca writes spice #dbf!bucky #ps!bucky #ps!dbf!bucky #I put a new dress on this morning #and noticed that the stitching on one of the straps looked a little weak #so I pulled out my embroidery kit bc I knew I had a spool of thread in it somewhere #and found 6 vapes that I'd hidden and forgot about #it felt like a gift from past me #also in love with the dress #will have a pic of it on my personal later tonight no doubt #lil mini rant:#I'm lowkey sick of writing men that are ripped af #I think I'm going to focus on appreciating more realistic body types in my writing #and male characters who have natural insecurities because that's just how humans are #I want to write something that feels more real?#because there's SO so so much beauty in soft bodies with stretch marks and little fine wrinkles #bodies that feel and look like they're lived in #they deserve a little tenderness and appreciation #I don't wanna write rock solid chiseled abs and taut muscles for a bit #I want to write soft tummies and broad shoulders and skin that dimples under your fingertips when you press on it

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poethood · 1 month

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at what point does a fear become irrational. all of my fears are completely justified and based in previous experience

#shouts #i am afraid of elevators but when i was thirteen there was a fire in the elevator shaft and the elevator jerked repeatedly between floors #also afraid of bees & wasps. but i've been stung multiple times including the inside of my elbow like some sick twisted shot & the bottom o #my foot & the cease of my nose which was really rough cause of my glasses. and wanting to avoid pain is a pretty normal human experience?#also lowkey emetophobia but when you grow up with an autoimmune disease that has vomiting as one of it's primary symptoms? i feel like #that's a pretty normal response as well...#sorry just thinking about that phobia poll going around

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sugarand-everythingnice · 26 days

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Does anybody have any easy dinner recipes a person can make while taking care of 2 kids?

Please share em with a gal 😭

#lowkey stressing #im gonna have to cook for myself now from how insane my parent's diets are now #i might have to buy myself a mini fridge for my room too #i feel like theyve been brainwashed by diet culture and its... concerning.#the newest thing theyre refusing to eat is chicken #all they eat is beef and eggs #and i get it #its good #but after eating it constantly im sick of it to the point it gets me nauseous #canela rambles

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pochapal · 26 days

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how to stop being Affected as a result of medical problems ending explained reddit no paywall

#:)#lowkey i've developed some kind of trauma-derived avoidance to everything in the last few months. like super lowkey mind you #not in the scared way btw but in the 'god decided my fate is to be sick so i don't deserve to even live life' way which is actually dumber #talked myself out of so many nice things the last few months because i'm a Sick Person Now and therefore Shouldn't do things any longer #also mind you i walked away from hospitalization with virtually zero symptoms that would impede my ability to do things #so i just decided to construct a psychic prison to punish myself for no good reason <3 #kinda feels like there's a glass wall between me and the world and i sooo badly want to be able to push past it again #suuuuuuuuuuuuucks that i am always undergoing traumatic events that reset my progress. someone save me................

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guinevereslancelot · 2 months

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most fucked up thing about the body's response to not eating is when you're so hungry you feel like you're gonna throw up. this does not make it easier to eat food actually

#literally thanks it did not help #my body sucks so bad at eating #i literally am not hungry until im so hungry i feel sick??#also #even when i remember to eat on a schedule all food makes me queasy i literally cannot win #maybe the so hungry im about to puke thing is just a me problem idk but it is NOT helpful #im also starting a medication that i cant eat anything for two hours before or after that's going to mess up my digestion today 😊#and make me feel awful #but its an alternative to eye surgery so hopefully it will be worth it #but i havent even started it yet and im so queasy just bc i didnt really eat breakfast #its not like i had Nothing i had three bites of cheerios and a coffee....#i would have eaten the cheerios but i was late for an appointment lol #anyway #my digestion sucks and i already cut out gluten and almost all dairy 😤#wtf else is thereee #also somehow magically even tho all food makes me sick and i barely eat regular meals i am putting on weight???#lowkey wondering if im diabetic or something bc this is not normallll

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todayisafridaynight · 1 month

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Going off the rules of sonic heroes if we were to trioize the jimas saejima’d obvi fit the power role but now we have to ask what roles majima and daigo fit cause on the one hand i believe majima could pilot a helicopter if he wanted to but on the other hand attributing ‘fly’ to daigo is another case of cruel and unusual punishment

#snap chats #i was gonna say ‘speed’ usually is given to the leader but vectors the leader of the chaotix not espio #vector my best friend ……..#im gonna say majima can get fly cause of that helicopter bullshit he do. you can have that majima #daigo just feels like hes too ‘balanced’ of a guy to be speed tho …. oh well #speed for. WR in how quick you can get shot into your chairmanship idk #FASTEST HAND IN THE EAST WAIT naw we got it. it checks out #well done team our impulsive assignment spurred by a tweet has been done efficiently #its so funny calling the jimas a trio cause since KH im lowkey sick of the word trio 💀💀💀#i dont even know why ….. it just irked me after a while …..#doesnt make any sense literally nonsensical it was just a feeling id get #thats what i hate about feelings you cant explain or justify them cause Theyre Feelings tf #you can TRY to explain them but theyre involuntary in the end and theres no objective cause for them. do we know what im saying.#im gonna go work now bye

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politemagic · 2 months

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hey gang if you're in the market for some new ambient, "naturey" metal music, might i suggest checking out the band til fauna?

they're a small band & they've only got 3 songs out now but they're working on a full album! i'm really digging their music so far and i'm excited to see what else they release!! breathe is my fav right now, but honestly all of the songs are good. (also i followed them on instagram and they messaged me to thank me for listening and gang i went 🥺 i think they're really good please listen to them🖤)

#if any of you actually listen to them please let me know!!! i would love to hear what you think #i discovered them literally an hour ago but they FUCK okay??#they're based not too far from me and i'm hoping that if they start playing shows i can go to support!!! i think that would be sick #also lowkey trying to hype myself up to reach out to them about trying to do some video/photo work for them in the future #because that would be so fucking sick & a goddamn DREAM but i feel like its so silly like i'm sure they could do better than my amateur ass #(i say amateur like i don't literally have a mass communications degree in film & professional experience. it's just not in music)#but idk you never know unless you ask or whatever but ohhhhh that would be too much. don't think i can do it.#em's tasty tunes #Spotify #til fauna

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feywhimsy · 2 months

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thinking about halsin and his relation to trauma. how he was able to heal from the terrible thing that happened to him, how it doesn't control him, how he can acknowledge it but he doesn't hurt how he used to. how it doesn't consume his every waking thought. it's incredibly healing to be able to see a character who has immense grief and trauma still able to be hopeful, still able to make a change, and be able to interact with the things that hurt him in the first place.

#i'm lowkey sick so i'm sorry if this post doesn't make sense #the brain fog is real today #but do you get it?? do you see what i'm saying?#once i'm feeling better i'm gonna write more about everything i love about halsin bc there is a LOT #i saw some people saying in the poll that halsin lovers are just like “him Good :)” which i DO do #but it's mostly because i'm fucking exhausted from work literally all the time #and it's not worth trying to change the minds of people who are always going to disagree with me no matter what i say #however. halsin love blast #i swear it seems like some of these people are purposefully ignoring things that are clearly stated in the text #halsin #moxie.txt #btw i'm not saying that halsin isn't without flaws! literally the entire point of bg3 is that everyone has flaws!#but the blatant disregard for what's in the text sucks :)#also no hate to the orin lovers i respect you #it's the halsin haters that bother me! <3

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sehtoast · 10 months

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Nyquil and Bribery (Depowered Homelander x OC Sickfic) All of You is Left to Love ch10

Word Count: 1.1k

Summary: No plot, just sickfic fun. Nyquil is gross.

Warnings: None.

Fic Directory

Misery.

This was pure fucking misery.

"You're not dying, Johnny."

And that has to be a lie.

But surely it couldn't feel this bad, right? All of his life, seeing the roaches around him with their little ailments– their sniffles and sneezes, their disgusting coughs– convinced with every fiber of his being that they were being dramatic.

So he must be dying. That's the only thing that made sense with every violent cough that rattled him.

His one comfort: the cool hand pressed to his forehead, checking his fever before another round of medicine.

"I mean… it's your first time having the flu, so it's gonna feel bad, y'know?" Ben murmured as he poured a bitter, blue liquid into a small plastic cup.

Homelander cringed at the sight. He hated the taste so fucking much. Couldn't taste half of what he ate, but his tongue could register the vile medicine just fine– go figure.

Ben had told him it would be like black licorice if it were dipped in pure menthol. It was accurate, but somehow so much worse– enough to make him gag and beg for mouthwash of all things.

"You're not makin' me drink that again, are you?" His words slurred slightly, voice nasally and unbecoming of the man who once held more power than God himself could ever dream.

"Mm, no." Ben hummed, his smile sympathetic. "Just pouring it out so it's ready for bed. Lucky for you, just some Tylenol and Mucinex for now."

"Oh thank god," he whined, leaning back against the mountain of pillows damp from fever sweats. All of the air conditioning and fans blowing on him did nothing to help, and his body worked hard to sweat it out.

Absolutely miserable.

"Actually, I was thinking of swapping out the sheets so they'd be dry for you. Maybe toss you in the tub for a bit," Ben ran a hand through his damp locks, ruffling them slightly. "Up to you."

A dry bed sounded nice…

He nodded.

It was a chore to get out of bed. His body ached, especially his back. But, as sure as the sun would rise, his little spider was there to snatch him off his feet and carry him.

As humiliating as it had been, he'd needed help on the first day. He'd felt so horrible that he didn't eat or drink all day. That, combined with the fever, and… well.

He learned the hard way that walking while dizzy was dangerous.

Since then, Ben practically became his nurse. He took off work– shirked his heroic duties to stay home and take care of him to the point he outright ignored the occasional sirens.

He only left for cold medicine and takeout.

The bath water wasn’t quite hot, but not cold, either. Something about not agitating the fever– but it felt incredible nonetheless. Bubbles floated at the top, the scent pleasant even through his congestion.

"M'gonna leave the door open. Holler if you need me, okay?"

He nodded and sank down into the water, eyes fluttering shut.

In a perfect world, he'd be able to hear every breath, every movement Ben made while stripping the sheets and covers from the bed. He’d hear the way Benny bickered with the fitted sheet that he could never quite get right on the first try, or maybe he’d smell the little specks of lemongrass oil he liked to fling on the mattress.

The humming as he worked.

The sigh of sympathy as he removed damp pillowcases.

The intense deliberation between flannel or microfiber sheets.

Instead, he got to sit there and shiver– body frozen despite the heat both in and outside of him. Simply trying to submerge further, damning both his height and the cramped tub that he couldn’t sink fully into the warmth.

He got to dwell on all that he'd lost– and how he wouldn't be like this now if he'd never let his guard down.

Vulnerable.

Weak.

Human.

Homelander hadn’t heard the shuffling of sock covered feet enter the bathroom, nor did he notice the fingertips that dipped into the water.

“You ready?”

He’d have jumped if he didn’t know better. Instead, he just groaned.

Ben insisted he not lift a finger to help– that he only sit there and tolerate his coughs and sniffles while being towel dried.

“I’m not totally helpless, you know.” Homelander blurted out, a hint of irritation in his voice. He gazed down at Ben, who had knelt before him to dry his legs. He meant to say more, but was stopped by a cough rumbling deep in his chest.

“Since when don’t you like being doted on?” Ben asked, eyebrow arched. He meant nothing by it, of course, but the look on John’s face told him all he needed to know.

This was a matter of wounded pride.

Of course it was. Being sick reduced Homelander to a state far weaker than he already was. Reminded him that he could always be knocked down another peg, even when he was sure he’d already reached rock bottom.

Ben rose, standing on his toes to press a kiss to the tip of John’s nose.

A million words danced on the tip of his tongue, but none would remedy feelings like that. So he settled for just leading Homelander back to bed, where they stayed for the rest of the afternoon to relax.

Until, of course, it was time to go to sleep.

“No– Ben, no! I’m not doing it!”

“C’mon, you know it helps you sleep.” Ben had straddled him, holding that little cup of foul medicine as though it wasn’t pure evil. He giggled at John’s protests, wondering if this is perhaps how his parents felt trying to convince him to take his medicine as a child.

“I…” Homelander seemed to pause as if to weigh the options of sleeping or coughing all night. His expression fell, becoming even more serious. “Sweeten the pot, Benjamin. You gotta do better than that.”

The wall crawler feigned offense.

“Fine. How about a kiss?”

“Not good enough.” John groaned, leaning back into his throne of pillows. “Do better.”

“Johnathan!”

“It’s like drinking sewage!” He countered.

Ben sat back for a minute, deep in thought, eyes flicking to Homelander’s face every so often until the perfect idea hit him.

“What if I…” He leaned forward, coming in close to whisper promises of bedroom shenanigans so filthy he dare not speak them aloud. “...and I’ll even let you tie me up with my webs. Deal?”

Without a second of hesitation, Homelander snatched the cup and downed it with all the enthusiasm of a shot. He didn’t even cringe.

“Deal!”

#homelander #homelander x oc #homelander fanfiction #depowered homelander #lowkey not my finest work bc the stress has been real lately but i was going for more fluff and fun vibes so hopefully i managed idk #i've been overdue to finally do a sick fic though #tbh it's (knock on wood) been so long since i've been sick i feel like i just cursed myself to catch something by writing this #the benlander agenda

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