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crashdevlin · 5 years

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New Romantics- 5: Sin and Shame

New Romantics Masterlist

Author’s Note: This is a multi-chapter sequel to Wildest Dreams

Bamby gave me inspiration to write another chapter of this, so... here it is!

Summary: Dean told y/n that she’d pick up the machete and rock salt again, but he’s surprised to see her at Harvelle’s Roadhouse less than a year later. She’s nervous to tell him and Sam the catalyst for her to start hunting again.

Pairing(s): Sam x Reader, Dean x Reader, Sam x Reader x Dean (no wincest), Crowley x Reader

Word Count: 4739

Story Warnings: Smut, 18+ HERE BE SEX, DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE A YOUNG’UN!!, anal sex, oral sex (fem and male receiving), vaginal sex, unprotected sex, rough sex, bloodplay, canon-appropriate character deaths, manipulation, BoyKing!Sam and Intended Queen!Reader!

Chapter Warnings: Blood Drinking, unprotected vaginal sex, possessive!Sam

Elizabethville, Ohio was seven different kinds of boring until the gate opened. I drove through once on my way from Cincinnati back home to Keystone. It was a half-dead factory town before they brought in bars and hookers and gambling. Demons, they’re all so overdramatic. I should know.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea, Baby Girl.”

“I didn’t ask you, Crowley,” I respond, getting out of my car and walking toward the front office of the cheap hotel. “You know I’m a hunter. You know I’m not going to stop being a hunter. You’re here to help me be a better hunter.”

“That’s not-”

I turn to the demon right outside the building. “If you don’t want to be here while I hunt your brothers, then fill my bottle and leave.” I raise an eyebrow at him.

He sighs. “Fine. Hurry up and get your room.”

I nod. I’ve got him right where I want him. Unfortunately, he can say the same about me, I know. He’s been working me over for two months. Even if I weren’t crazy for the things I can do because of him, I’m a bit… addicted to his blood. I knew, the first drop back in Lincoln, I knew what a heroin addict must feel. I get a room, number 6, and grab my duffel from my car. Crowley’s already in the room when I drop my stuff on the bed and kick the door closed. “I think I’m gonna hit the bar I drove past on the way in. Uh, ‘Trotters’. Seems a good place to get information.”

“Uh-huh.”

I sigh, deeply. He’s gonna make me ask. “I need a top-up before I go, get my powers to a hundred.”

“Gladly, darling. But you know what I want.”

I shake my head. “You know, there are more important things in life than your dick, Crowley.”

“Like your pride, y/n?” he snaps. “Must we do this every time? You haven't been able to resist me since you went back to Keystone. We're going to end up in bed, same as always, so why do you make this so difficult?”

I roll my eyes. At this point, I think it's just out of habit. I know that I'm going to let him fuck me just as well as he knows it, but if I didn't resist… if I didn't put up some sort of fight… what kind of hunter would I be?

“Why can’t you just gimme what I need without expecting anything in return?” I ask, but I know his answer. Same as every other time I’ve asked.

“Because I’m a demon, pet.”

“Not your pet,” I interrupt, moving to unpack my slinky red dress and black boots to wear to the bar.

“I’m a crossroads demon, y/n, and ain’t nothin’ in this world for free.”

I grasp the bottom of my tank top and pull it off over my head. “I hate you.”

“I know,” he says as I toss my shirt across the room. “I hate you, too, Baby Girl.” Love when you get nude, though.

“You’re a pig.”

“I’m a demon. And I’m a male. Were you expecting something else?”

I flopped to the mattress, shaking my head as I kick my sneakers off. “Not all males think the way you do, Crowley. I should know.”

“Of course all men think like me, y/n. Goes with the penis.”

“Your borrowed penis,” I remind him as he climbs over my body and looks down at me.

He smirks down at me and I shiver. God, it’s not fair. He knows exactly which buttons to push. “This borrowed cock?” He grinds himself down against my pussy, putting perfect pressure on my clit. “That cock you’ve choked on and creamed all over? This borrowed cock you love so much? That makes you scream?”

“Just get on with it, Crowley.”

You try to take the fun out of it, but I’m still going to make you scream. He pushes a picture into my mind of him hammering that thick cock into me and I have to bite my lip to keep from moaning. This is how it always goes. He takes his time, I act like I don't like it to keep up appearances and he relishes every sound he makes me make. And then, only then, does he give me the blood I need.

‘The blood I need’. I hate that sentence. I hate that reality. I hate Crowley, but God, I love the way he makes me feel, the way he makes me scream. The things I can do with his blood running through me are worth every bit of the guilt.

It’s a little pathetic how quickly the demon has me writhing under him, with his mouth attached to my shoulder, his cock buried in me but not moving. “Move. God, Crowley, move.”

That’s not how you ask, Baby Girl.

“Oh, fuck you. Every fucking time?”

You know what I want.

I sigh, deeply, and buck my hips, but it doesn’t inspire him to move. It never does. “Daddy, please, fuck me.” He makes me say that because he knows it reminds me of John. Every damn time.

Good girl. He chuckles against my skin and starts moving. I grasp at his shoulders to ground myself and close my eyes, try to imagine that it’s not a demon that’s plunging his massive cock into my pussy, that it’s not a demon’s weight pressing me into this dirty mattress. Such gorgeous noises. He has me moaning, screaming-loud, within ten minutes and I can hear the people in the next room over thinking about how loud I am. God, that should bug me more, I like my privacy, but I can’t stop moaning as he bites into his arm and places the bloody flesh against my lips.

It takes more blood to get me going than it did two months ago, but not the mouthful he feeds me this time. It’s too much. I feel my stomach turn as I swallow. But then the warmth blossoms up and my senses go into overdrive and I don’t care about anything except the feel of Crowley’s borrowed cock twitching against my inner walls as he cums. I whimper when he pulls out and snaps his fingers to redress himself. “A little something to hold you over ‘til next time. Call me when you’re done here.” He sets a bottle on the side table and I can see that it’s bigger than the one he usually gives me. He wants me to drink more, to need more. I sit up as he disappears. Fuck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm sitting in the corner of Trotters, listening out to the nasty thoughts of the patrons. I’m not hearing demons, but I’m hearing adulterers and coveters and random arrays of sinners. I take a drink of my beer and reach out.

“Boots?” A familiar voice pulls my attention to the bar. I can't help the smile, even if my stomach twists with fear at his presence.

“Dean!” I stand and wrap my arms around his leather-clad shoulders. “Had to know I wasn't the only one reading the trades.”

“You aren't working with Richie, are you?” His hand lingers on my lower back. I barely recognize the question because my mind is filled with memories of our last time together. When he remembers it, Sam is conspicuously absent.

“Delaney? Please, Winchester, I have some standards.” I pull back and Dean lets his eyes drag down my body, appreciating my curves. “Great, now I gotta worry about keeping that idiot alive.”

“Yeah, I'm working on that. You strapped?”

“Of course I am,” I respond with a smirk. “Aren't you?”

“Yeah, but I got a lot more space to hide a gun. Can't even imagine where you've got yours.” His eyes flash to my thighs and I smile.

“Yes, you can,” I say and I flip my hair out of my face.

He chuckles. “Sam'll be real happy to see you,” he says as I lean against my table and bite my bottom lip.

“Oh, will he?”

“Yeah. Sammy talks about you all the time,” he lies. Sam hasn't mentioned me since Nebraska, but neither has Dean. Dean, I can tell, thinks about me all the time, though.

“Yeah? I figured he would have his mind too full of the black-eyed blond to think too hard on me.”

Dean nods. Fear and anger roll off of him. “You know about Ruby?”

I nod. “Yeah. Bobby doesn't tell me everything, Dean, but he tells me enough. The important shit, that warrants a text message or two.”

He sighs and scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah, sorry about that. We probably should've called you at some-”

“You don't have to make excuses, Dean. Neither of you owe me anything.” I shake my head. He steps closer to me and there's this care in his mind and all I can think about is the fact that I've got a demon's cum on the inside of my panties. “She says she's around to help, but there's no such thing as a good demon, Dean. There's always an angle.”

“We know that.” God, she's gorgeous. Fuck, I wanna take her back to the hotel… but I gotta… Richie… bartender. “Look, I gotta run down Richie. He disappeared last night and I'm worried.”

I smile and nod. “Got a phone number for him? I'm sure his cell's got GPS.”

Dean's eyes widen, just a little, in realization. He scoffs. “Here I am, in a panic over finding that idiot, and you're cool as ever with the big brains, comin’ up with a way to find him.”

I shrug. “Gotta use the big brains for somethin’.” I'm definitely not using them in my own life.

“Wanna come with me to track him down? I gotta head back to the hotel, get my laptop.” Maybe time for a little… no. Can't do that to her and Sam again.

“Uh, yeah, you know what? This place seems a bit dead, anyway.”

“Yeah, Sam’s got eyes on the owner. I got a feeling about that bartender, Casey, though.”

“The one with the ass?” I ignore the zing of jealousy and snort. “I'm sure you got a ‘feeling’ about her.”

“Ha ha. Seriously. Richie said he had a, uh, a date with her and then he disappeared. I think she may be a demon, but I'm not sure. Haven't had a chance to get some holy water on her.”

I nod. “Yeah, let's go. Hopefully we’ll find Richie happily getting his rocks off somewhere.”

When we get to the hotel, we pass my room on the way to his and Sam’s. Dean points at my door. “Whoever’s in that room… porn stars.” I raise my eyebrows at him. “Yeah. I don’t know what the guy was doing to the chick, but damn, I would’ve loved to get some pointers. She was loud.”

I shake my head. “You don’t need any pointers, Dean.”

“Can’t say things like that, y/n,” he says, quietly. She’s gonna make me…

I take a deep breath as Dean leads me into his room and pulls his computer off of his bed. “Why not?” I ask, sitting on the edge of his bed and pulling my thigh holster off before turning to him. “Are we pretending we’ve never had sex, Dean? Because I can do that, but…” I set the gun next to me and look at him over the laptop screen. “Kinda don’t want to.”

He shakes his head. Sam would hate me. “Aren’t you Sam’s?”

“Why, because Yellow-eyes said so?”

“Because Sam says so.” He sighs. “You remember how he acted when he walked in on us in Lincoln? You can’t pretend he doesn’t have some sort of-”

“He doesn’t have any claim to me, Winchester. Neither do you. You wanna pretend, we’ll pretend, but don’t act like it’s some altruistic thing that you’re doing for Sam.”

“I don’t know the mean of that word, y/n.” It’s not for Sam. It’s for you. Fuckin’ trainwreck.

I sigh. I’m a trainwreck, too, idiot. “Whatever. Let’s just… you go ahead and find Richie’s cell. I’m gonna go get changed.” I swipe my gun off the bed and head out, pulling the hotel key from my bra as I go.

Is that a ‘6’ on her key? “Wait, uh, sweetheart, uh…” Was that her moaning? Why didn’t we recog-

“I’ll be back in a few minutes, Dean. In more appropriate clothing.”

I’m halfway through getting changed when my door opens. I left it unlocked because I knew he’d be coming to talk. “So… who is he?” Don’t be a hunter, don’t be a hunter. Dean leans against the door as I pull my jeans up my legs.

“He’s just a guy I met on a hunt a few months back. He’s a piece of shit but he gives me what I need.” There’s that word again.

“He didn’t stick around to help with the hunt?”

“He had an elsewhere to be… and this really isn’t his deal, Dean. He’s not a hunter. He’s a travelling salesman.”

“And you’ve been… you’ve been with him for… a few…”

“We’re not a real thing,” I interrupt. I shake my head. “I don’t get to have real things, Dean.” I button my jeans and tuck my gun into the back of my waistband. “I’m always alone. I told you that the night we met.” I smile tightly at him as I slip into my sneakers. “Did you find Richie?”

“Yeah, I got an address.” She deserves real. I wish I could

“Let’s go,” I interrupt his thoughts by grabbing my jacket and stomping into the hall. “Lock the door behind you.”

“So… how’s your dad?” Dean asks as we drive toward the address where Richie’s phone stopped.

“Dead,” I answer, my throat clenching around the word.

Shit. “Oh. Sorry. What happened?”

“Official story? The locals didn’t like him digging around in their stuff.”

“And the unofficial story?” Demons.

“Doesn’t really matter, does it? Dead’s dead.” He looks over at me, and I can tell he thinks I’m being cold. Maybe I am. Maybe everything that’s been happening and everything I’ve been doing with Crowley, it’s making me numb. Maybe I knew my dad was dead as soon as the Yellow-eyed Demon appeared in my dreams.

Maybe I always knew that I was never going to get to be happy. Should’ve just stayed out.

“Yeah, probably.” Dean’s words make me jump. How much of that did I say out loud? “But now you’re back in, I don’t see you gettin’ back out.”

“Right. Only way out is dead.”

I get a flash of Dean standing in front of a funeral pyre, flames warming his skin, tears stinging his eyes. The body is wrapped in white cotton, it could be a memory or it could be his imagination. “Well, as long as you take out more of them on your way out.”

“Of course I will.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finding Richie sucked. His head was twisted around completely. I helped Dean set up a pyre and send him on to Heaven. We watched him burn and got back in the Impala. “It was the bartender.”

“Probably,” I respond, biting my thumbnail.

“Hey, uh, can you draw a Devil's Trap from memory? ‘Cause I was gonna go back to the bar, lure the bitch back to that manor we found Richie's body at. There was that rug...”

“Yeah. I got it. Got some chalk in the trunk? Drop me off, I'll get it done.”

As I'm drawing the trap, my mind goes to my father, to Crowley, to the Yellow-eyed Demon, to Dean and to Sam. I know Dean would love to get out like I did. Even for just a few years how I did it. I know Dean would love a chick who does yoga in her downtime and doesn't feel like she has to kill monsters to curb her desire to kill shit. Dean dreams of Lisa Braeden but she’s a stand-in. Her and her kid and her little slice of suburbia. She’s what I could’ve been. She’s what I should have been.

Sam dreams of Jessica, sometimes, but those are few and far now. Mostly, he dreams of the hunt. Mostly, he dreams of death. Sometimes, he dreams of me, but never of happy-ever… when he dreams of me, he dreams of sex.

Because that’s what I’m good for. For Sam, for Crowley, that’s what I’m good for.

I hide behind a stack of wine casks when I hear Dean’s voice. His thoughts are apprehensive, he’s hoping this will work… he’s wondering why demons always pick women with such amazing bodies. The demon isn’t thinking. Its mind is blocked. It forces me to realize that Crowley lets me into his mind. As strong as this gift has gotten, he still only lets me hear what he wants me to hear.

“Everything okay?” Dean asks as the demon looks around the cellar, looking for Richie’s body.

She smirks, turns to him and I see her press her lips to his. “Make yourself comfortable.” She walks over and flicks on the light in the closet as Dean skirts the outside of the rug and the trap beneath it.

“Oh, I forgot to mention… Richie was a friend of mine.” The demon turns as I move out from behind the casks. “When my girl reminded me I could track the GPS in his cell phone, I swung by earlier. We gave him a proper burial. It’s better than rotting in some skank’s basement.” The demon launches itself across the cellar and slams into the invisible barrier of my Devil’s Trap.

I laugh and step up next to Dean. “Oops.” I drop to my knees and flip the rug to reveal the trap.

Dean clicks his tongue and smiles down at it. “Isn’t that a buzz kill? Sorry, sister, but you’re going back to where you came from,” he says, pulling out a book I recognize as one of Pastor Jim’s old exorcism manuals.

The demon chuckles. “I don’t think so.” A hard breeze starts blowing through the cellar, and Dean fumbles on the exorcism.

“Keep going. Spiritus immunde, undolara.” I step back from beside Dean, out of his vision, and I close my eyes. I start trying to pull the demon from the brunette woman, but dust and debris start hitting me, then pages of Dean’s exorcism book. The book flies from his hand, the foundation of the house shakes, the staircase caves in.

Dean and I turn on the smug demon bitch. “What are you laughing at, bitch? You’re still trapped,” Dean snaps.

“So are you… bitches.”

I help Dean light candles, start moving rubble as ‘Casey’ taunts Dean about his inability to finish the exorcism. I could pull this bitch. I could exorcise her without a problem. But then Dean would know. He’d have questions I can’t answer. So, I’m just as stuck as they are.

Casey starts explaining how she fucked the town: a lunch with Trotter where she played on his greed to get him to play into everyone else’s vices. It wasn’t her fault, she didn’t “pull any triggers”. She just whispered in the right person’s ear. “All you gotta do is nudge humans in the right direction. Some whiskey here, a hooker there, and they’ll walk right into hell with big, fat smiles on their faces. Your kind is corrupt, kids. Weak. Our will’s stronger. That’s why we’ll win.”

“And that’s how it ends?” Dean asks.

“No. That’s how it begins.”

“So, demons take over. I thought the meek shall inherit the earth,” Dean says.

“According to your Bible.” The demon scoffs. “It’s only a book, Dean.”

“Not everyone would agree.”

“Are you really having this conversation with a demon?” I sigh and the demon looks at me.

“What, a conversation about the fact that Dean Winchester is lecturing on a book he’s likely never read?” It turns its attention back to Dean and I roll my eyes. It goes into its own lecture on war and genocide, the body count that humans have racked up in the past century alone. And then she says she’s doing all of this, damning all of these souls, because she’s a true believer. She’s a follower, a disciple, of Lucifer. She has faith in Him.

I search through every encounter I’ve ever had with a demon. I remember every bit of dialogue and every errant movement and not a single reference to Lucifer appears. Not from Crowley, not from Yellow-eyes, not from that first demon back in Massachusetts. Lucifer. What sort of ridiculous bullshit is that? Is this bitch just fucking with us?

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” Dean asks, looking away from the demon.

“I’m an open book,” it responds.

“So, the gate opened, the demon army was let out. What now, huh? I’m not seeing a big, honkin’ plan here.”

“Honestly, there was a plan. Azazel was a tyrant, but… he held us all together.” Casey sits up from her place lying on the rug.

“Azazel?” Dean and I say at the same time.

“What, you think his friends just called him ‘yellow eyes’? He had a name.”

“He had friends?”

Dean smiles at me, but Casey rolls her eyes as she crosses her legs. “After you did him in, Dean, it all fell apart.”

“Sorry ‘bout that.” Dean nods. “So, what? No chain of command?”

“There was. It was Sam and y/n. Sam was supposed to be the grand pooh-bah and lead the big army with y/n at his side, but… they haven’t exactly stepped up to the plate, have they?”

“Thank God for that.”

“Again with God. You think this is a good thing? Now you’ve got chaos, a war without a front, hundreds of demons all jockeying for power, all fighting for the crown. Most of them gunning for your brother… some gunning for his girlfriend.” She turns her eyes on me. “For the record, I was ready to follow you and Sam.”

I feel a presence in the front courtyard of the house and look up, just a moment before Sam’s voice cuts through the cellar. “Dean?!” Dean looks up, we all move to stand.

Casey concedes defeat as Sam runs to the vent Dean was trying to climb out of earlier. Dean explains he's down here with me and the demon and Sam's thoughts pulse with worry. When Sam mentions he’s with ‘the Father’, Casey’s eyes light up. Of course the Cavalry and the Indians showed up at the same time.

“Sammy, be careful,” Dean demands.

I feel another presence, familiar and warm, just before a gunshot rings out. Bobby. Another presence, devoid of thought. Another demon. Bobby’s thoughts tell me it’s Ruby. I don’t have time to worry about what that bitch has been doing with Bobby, because another demon, the priest, is smashing his way through the rocks that trapped us.

Dean rushes at the demon as soon as it walks in. I move to jump at him, but I’m immediately tossed away. Casey warn the Father of the Devil’s Trap and he slams his fist into the stone, breaking my hard work.

Casey tells the priest to leave us be. It even says ‘please’ to its lover. It doesn’t move fast enough. A gunshot bangs, the priest falls, last bits of whatever it calls a soul sparking as it dies. Sam points the gun at Casey.

We can exorcise her! “Sam, wait!”

Sam shoots anyway. He likes watching the spark die. It’ll hit him later that there were people in those bodies, too. He’ll feel guilty about it, then, but right now? Right now, he likes it. Dean flashes to Azazel in the cemetery. “How certain are you that what you brought back is 100% pure Sam?”

I pat Dean’s shoulder and start to walk out, but Sam grabs my wrist. “Are you okay?”

I smile, as genuinely as I can, and nod. “This was mostly just a lot of blabber. It couldn’t touch us.”

Did they touch each other? “I didn’t know you were in town. When-”

“You were tailing Trotter, hung up on Dean when he tried to tell you he’d run into me, that we found Richie.”

So they didn’t have time to fuck. Good. I manage to keep myself from rolling my eyes as I pull my wrist from his grasp. “Hey, are you-”

“I’m gonna get out of your hair.”

“Y/n, I-”

“I’m tired,” I deflect. I’m not tired. I’m agitated, irritated. I need the bottle sitting in my makeup bag in my duffel.

I haven’t had a chance- “But-”

“Let her go, Sammy. She deserves a break.” Far away from us.

I hum in agreement. “Yeah. A break. That sounds good.”

“Maybe you call up your salesman, take a few days.” Have something normal. Have something real.

“Salesman?”

Not yours, Sammy. “Yeah. Y/n’s in room six. She had a friend over yesterday when she checked in.”

I get a clip of a memory of Sam hearing my moans through the walls. “That was you?”

“Yeah, look, I-”

She’s mine! “What… who? Who is he? How’d you-”

“Don’t,” Dean and I say at the same time.

“She’s obviously not yours.” There’s a smugness on his face, but I know it’s more of Dean’s false bravado. “She’s not yours, she’s not mine, she’s not what the Yellow-eyed Demon wanted her to be. Ain’t that just too bad?”

“But-” Sam starts, but I shake my head.

“You don’t get to do the jealous thing. Not when you haven’t called in two months. You don’t get to only give a fuck when I’m fucking someone who’s not you.”

That’s not true! “I can’t believe you think-”

“Sammy, let her go.”

“Thanks, Dean. Y’all give me a call if you need me.” I smile at the older brother, nod at the younger, and start up the stairs. “We definitely need a last hurrah before the lights go out, Dean. Hit me up when you’ve got time.”

“You know it, sweetheart,” Dean calls after me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well, yore looking somber. What happened?” Crowley asks when he appears in front of me in the hotel room.

“Azazel. Were you one of his?”

“Oh, look who’s got insider knowledge all of a sudden.” Crowley sticks his hands in his coat pockets and starts pacing. “Yes, technically, I was one of Azazel’s but… with the exception of Lilith, Cain, and the other Princes, every demon was working for Azazel.”

“Were you planning to tell me what Azazel had planned for me?”

“When, exactly, should I have told you that you were supposed to be queen of Hell? Second in command of Hell’s Army?”

“At some point before coercing your future queen into having sex with you probably would’ve been a good idea,” I snap.

“Oh, are you planning to step up and be my queen, then?” He turns to me and I look down. “That’s what I thought.”

“If I were queen, would I be able to save souls from the Pit?” I can’t help but think of Dean. Would it be worth it? Would I be able to handle being what Azazel wanted me to be, if it meant saving Dean from Hell?

“Sure. But not Dean Winchester.” My eyes snap to his. “He’s going down. No question. Besides, with Azazel gone, you’d have to fight Lilith for the crown, and she’s not interested in giving it up.”

I sigh and stand, moving to grab my duffel bag. “Okay. So… should I be worried about this Lilith?”

“Of course. But Sam’s the one who should be more worried.”

I lick my lips. “I should stay with them, watch their backs.”

“They don’t want that. Dean wants to die in peace and Sam wants you as far away from his brother as possible.”

Why does everything have to be so goddamn complicated? “Great. I hate when you’re right.”

“Back to Keystone, then?”

“It’s the only place I can get away from you.”

“You’re going to break that Devil’s Trap, eventually. I’m getting tired of bending you over the hood of your car.”

“No, you’re not,” I say, picking up my bag and doing the rounds to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything.

“No. I’m not.”

KITCHEN SINK TAGS @heyitscam99 @wonderlandfandomkingdom @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt @mrs-meghan-winchester @henrymorganme @lonely-skys @allykat2108 @mogaruke @flamencodiva @team-free-will-you-idjits-67 @pisces-cutie @paintballkid711 @natura1phenomenon @rainbowkisses31 @atc74 @alagalaska @bamby0304

HUNTER TAGS @letsby @mrswhozeewhatsis @adoptdontshoppets @spnskinnyballs @deansenwackles @gayspacenerd @thewhiterabbit42 @dolphincliffs

#cassie writes stuff #reader-insert #crowley/reader #boyking!sam #demon blood #blood addiction

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mittensmorgul · 5 years

Text

Catching up on yesterday's TNT loop... we've arrived at 4.02, Are You There, God? It's Me, Dean Winchester.

And isn't this a kicker. Every other hunter we're shown who gets a visit from the spirits-- from the cold open right up through Bobby and Sam-- but Dean? Fresh off four decades in Hell, the angry vengeful dead targeting them specifically and using guilt over their wrongful deaths as a weapon... well, Dean just has a lot bigger issues to feed his guilt than people whose deaths he'd come to terms with a long time ago. And it's only his own self-doubt directly related to that that nearly gets him.

Ron from 2.12, Dean wasn't the one who really felt guilty about that one... That was Sam's mistake. Sure, Dean could've said something to him, but that was Ron's own choices that led them there.

Victor Henriksen from 3.12 (and from 2.12, and from 2.19): Again, it's Sam who blames himself for Victor's death, thanks to Ruby having finally earned Sam's loyalty... Sam still feels the pain of having failed Victor (and everyone else that day) when if he'd only listened to Ruby and sacrificed Nancy (and his own humanity and morality in the process), everyone else would've been saved... Dean still would've stuck to his principles and refused to let everyone die that day, even knowing how it all turned out. But it was Victor's direct hit on Dean's self-worth that threw him:

HENRIKSEN: Tell me how it's fair. You get saved from Hell -- I die. Why do you deserve another chance, Dean?

Because that's the kicker. Dean is HIGHLY uncomfortable with the revelation that God specifically wanted HIM saved from Hell. Why does he deserve to be saved? It's a question he asks frequently, and he finds the answer just as unsatisfying.

The third Witness they face is Meg, who doesn't make much headway with Sam at first, until she accuses him of something happening in the present that he clearly feels conflicted about:

MEG: You saw how I suffered for months. I thought you must have learned something. I thought I died for something. SAM: Meg. MEG: But what you're doing with that demon, Ruby... How many innocent bodies has Ruby burned through for kicks? How many girls just like me? And you don't send her back to Hell? You're a monster!

This is Sam's primary conflict throughout s4, and something he carries the guilt of for years afterward.

We are reminded of Sam's essential faith in a higher power, and his (woefully misguided) trust that Heaven is "the good guys." He's brought directly into conflict with Ruby over that fact from the start:

RUBY: Sam, they're angels. I'm a demon. They're not gonna care if I'm being helpful. They smite first, and then they ask questions later. SAM: What do you know about them? RUBY: Not much. I've never met one, and I don't really want to. All I know is that they scare the holy hell out of me. Watch yourself, Sam. SAM: I'm not scared of angels.

and, haaaaaaaa, you should be, Sam...

and then at the end of the episode, we have Cas again, coming directly for Dean, as Ruby came directly for Sam at the beginning, enforcing the perception of a divide between Heaven and Hell:

CASTIEL: I'm not here to perch on your shoulder. We had larger concerns. DEAN: Concerns? There were people getting torn to shreds down here! And, by the way, while all this is going on, where the hell is your boss, huh, if there is a God? CASTIEL: There's a God. DEAN: I'm not convinced. 'Cause if there's a God, what the hell is he waiting for, huh? Genocide? Monsters roaming the earth? The freaking apocalypse? At what point does he lift a damn finger and help the poor bastards that are stuck down here? CASTIEL: The Lord works... DEAN: If you say "mysterious ways," so help me, I will kick your ass. So, Bobby was right... about the witnesses. This is some kind of a... sign of the apocalypse.

and:

CASTIEL: We tried. And there are other battles, other seals. Some we'll win, some we'll lose. This one we lost. Our numbers are not unlimited. Six of my brothers died in the field this week. You think the armies of Heaven should just follow you around? There's a bigger picture here. You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of Hell. I can throw you back in.

(kinda the original "if this is true, then you're dead to me" without the weight of more than a decade of friendship)

S4 spent so much time attempting to convince Dean that there were two sides to this conflict-- the Good and the Bad, while Dean primarily struggled to stop it altogether, to remove himself from it entirely. And the narrative has already begun attempting to tear him down to the point where he will eventually be forced to confront his "destiny" and be willing to accept it.

LOL good luck with that, narrative. :P

I mean, this same manipulative game is what will drive the narrative right up to 14.20 and the ultimate act of defiance against God's plans for Dean. (and Sam and Cas, but they arrive at the truth before Dean does, mostly because it took so much longer to break Dean's will in the first place).

#spn 4.02 #spn 2.12 #spn 2.19 #spn 14.20 #s14 hellatus rewatch #spiders georg of the tnt loop #it's spirals all the way down #spn 14.18 #the scheherazade of supernatural #sam sympathizes and dean empathizes

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dsmadmin · 3 years

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#EnemyOfThineEnemy

Written by @MyStoneIsRuby & @SWinchesterDSM

Ruby: [Everybody thought she was dead so she was trying to stay under the radar, there was angel radio and there was demon radio, she didn’t want her name to be spoken on either of them anytime soon. But there was one thing she had to do… something she had to get out of her system, one demon she had to stab repeatedly making sure she’d never show her face in any form or vessel ever again. The bitch had sold her at the first occasion. There was no such thing as friendship in the “demon community” but that had been a low blow.

Meg, the bitch, had to die.

She had a place and time and just one shot at it for if she missed, so long for staying under the radars. Little she knew she wasn’t the only one tailing her, would she had known who was in the surrounding she would have backed off, but it was to late now]

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Sam: -Sam was rolling solo these days and Dean was still pissed off at him but it was what it was. So he sat at the local diner having ordered breakfast and coffee before the sun come up. His table held his laptop which he was busy looking through articles. A guy named Anton LaVey had created The Church of Satan back in the sixties, most dismiss it as mostly inactive and completely ridiculous, but there were always a few fanatical followers. And Sam was tracking them because he felt they'd stumbled onto something real. Rumors of the Church were growing in the mountains not far from Little Rock Arkansas. Children had gone missing recently and Sam believed it was all connected, it might be legit or not that's what he was here to find out. He would be heading up to Pinnacle Moutain today, a lot of terrain but he wanted to get a feel for things and see if anything at some key points stood out. After breakfast, he put his stuff in the car and stopped by the supply store then headed up to the rangers station. He had been hunting Meg but so far he didn't have any solid leads so when this case came along he took it, one day he'd find her and end her. Parking the car he grabbed his hiking gear pack and headed up the walkway to grab a map and talk to the local ranger.-

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Ruby: [There were many things human had done in the past that shown how foolish they were. The Church of Satan was one, though supposed to be inactive it still had a few followers.. many even for it had become an international thing. A small herd of worshippers in every countries, what a great opportunity for demons… a stash of willing vessels. Whenever one got broken, to the worshipers the demon went that’s why Ruby followed that lead. She knew Meg had been badly injured when fighting the Winchesters, she’d more than probably need a new body to inhabit… And if she didn’t well she’d keep searching but for now, to Arkansas she’d go]

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Sam: -After chatting to the ranger Sam took the map and headed up the trail to make his way up to Pinnacle Mountain, the ranger had warned him about animals etc since they’d had a couple guys go missing lately. He’d planned on camping overnight at the top and had his gun. Eyes peeled for anything out of the ordinary.-

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Ruby: [Ruby was on her way to the top knowing there was a hunting cabin there where the worshippers gathered and the demons harvested.

Using the night to cover herself she walked on a trail not that many people used, she was worried though for the moon would be full soon and maybe some were already up there preparing for one of their stupid rituals.]

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Sam: -Sam had to admit this was kicking his ass a bit. He needed to work out harder. Taking a small break he decided to make camp because it was dark and he didn’t want to end up stumbling around or drawing attention to himself.-

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Ruby: [Demons didn’t get tired or it took a lot to put them down so she kept walking along the trail keeping her ears open and a hand on the dagger she kept safely secured at her belt. So far she hadn’t seen anything and she wondered if it was a good or a bad thing]

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Sam: -He didn’t start a fire and luckily it wasn’t to cold. He did apply some protection symbols to the ground though. Hopefully that would keep any inhuman thing out.-

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Ruby: [She was half way to the top when she heard something. Someone was there, not far. She hesitated she could make a bee line and avoid whoever was there or come closer to see if it was a worshipper or a demon. Good or bad idea she decided to go and check who the “person” was, from behind one tree to the other she moved closer and closer and suddenly stopped. Of all people she could have stumbled on it had to be Sam Winchester who had to be standing a few feet away…]

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Sam: -Sam heard something, a twig? He turned around and caught sight of a small figure not to far away. He reached for his gun leveling it at the figure.- Come out, hands up. I will shoot so move slow.

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Ruby: [She thought fast, you were a hunter, shoot first talk later, so she didn’t have a lot of options. She did as you asked raising her hands high enough for you to see them and stepped out of the shadows. Even from where you were you’d be able to tell it was her. It was up to you to shoot or not.]

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Sam: -As the figure came out Sam’s eyes widened a bit. Head tilted gripping the gun hand tighter. Emotions came running back to him.- Ruby..? How? I thought you were dead.

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Ruby: I kind of was, long story, I’d love to have a long conversation about how, when and more but I rather do it without a gun pointed at me.

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Sam: Yeah and I’d like to live till I’m old but you’ll probably kill me if I do put my gun down.

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Ruby: Sam, I was on my way somewhere and, believe me, you’re the last person I thought I’d bump into. I actually tried to avoid you or anyone. There’s someone higher than you on my killing list... plus if I recall well you’re the one who holds a grudge against me.

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Sam: Well in all fairness you did lie and manipulate me to free Lucifer but hey that's not anything "major" right? Tell me why you are here, who is it you're looking for and maybe I might not send you back to hell.

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Ruby: [Fair point, she had used you, bringing you down emotionally or using how lost you were to lead you where she wanted you to go]

I’m hunting Meg [She bluntly said, no need to beat around the bush, not under the menace of a gun held by a hunter who knew what he was doing]

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Sam: -He seemed to believe her a relaxed a little.- I'd love to end her. So what enemy of thine enemy this round?

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Ruby: It's definitely not a game I want her dead Sam. She tortured me in Hell, for pure pleasure, it wasn't even her job.

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Sam: So this is a vendetta because Meg’s a nut job… and how do I know she didn’t send you thinking you could talk me into false security?

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Ruby: Yeah because I’m the best person to send to make you feel safe.

We didn’t really part friends remember?

Believe me or not, I don’t care, just don’t shoot me and I’ll go my way. All I want is having her dead, once and for all.

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Sam: I remember. She’s not stupid and probably got plenty of back up. -Lowers his gun.- How about a temporary truce with us to take her on?

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Ruby: [A truce? She looked at you and remained silent for a moment then she nodded her head]

She probably has back up. Up there with the so called satanists… A vessel farm for us demons I was thinking of dismantling it as well. Kill the Meg network.

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Sam: I can live with that, they’re abducting children and sacrificing them. Any idea of how many are up there?

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Ruby: It’s not that big a coven, satanists aren’t that many despite what people think, I mean real ones. I’d expect a dozen for we're close to the dark moon. That’s why I’m expecting Meg to be there.

[She allowed herself to move closer]

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Sam: I was going to hit them during the daylight. -Sam sat down on a downed tree log.-

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Ruby: Some are there during the day but if you want to catch them all and be sure demons are there, /Meg/ is there, you have to go at night on a dark moon which is tomorrow night but preparations must be made to “call the devil” [That part made her roll her eyes]

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Sam: Alright then, guess we go tomorrow night. If there any kids in there I want your word you'll get them out of there and I'll handle the other. -He was serious about this and knew she could grab the kids up and disappear faster than he could think.-

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shirtlesssammy · 7 years

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When the Levee Breaks: Recap

Then:

Sam’s sucking the demon blood like it’s going out of style, so Bobby and Dean send him to Bobby’s Basement Panic Room Rehab.

Now:

Sam is still stewing away in the panic room, and getting no sympathy from Dean. He tries apologizing and asks Dean to let him out, but Dean is hearing none of it. (Who’s loving the red Sam and the white Dean lighting aesthetic??) Sam needs to dry out, and in the meantime, Dean and Bobby will stop Lilith.

The withdrawals start to kick in for Sam. His vision starts to blur, lights start to flicker, and the temperature in the room plummets. Oh, and Alistair shows up. Cut to Sam trussed up on the torture chair of torture, and Alistair ripping his guts apart. Oh wait, j/k, it’s all just part of the detox, and he’s hallucinating the whole thing. Dean and Bobby drink copious amounts of alcohol to get through listening to the terror Sam is going through one floor below them.

Bobby gets a call from Rufus. “Suck dirt and die, Rufus. You call me again, I'll kill you.” BFFs, amirite? The phone rings again, and this time the camera pans in on Bobby ever so slowly, so something serious is going down!

Back in the panic room, Sam comes to the realization that he’s not tied down, and Young!Sam fills him in that he’s hallucinating. (I love that Young!Sam and Old!Sam got to work together. I forgot about that.) Young!Sam demands answers from him.

“How could you do this to me? I thought we were going to be normal.” “I tried. I did. It didn’t pan out that way,” Old!Sam responds. Ugh, I’m not ready to deal with Sam feels, but this is a really great inside look into Sam’s mind. The guilt he still holds onto from Jessica’s death.

Just listening to him talk to his younger self is painful. He is rationalizing his hunting life SO hard, not because he believes in his words, but because he has to in order to keep moving forward. He wants to find a rational reason to justify his actions, for Jessica, for the life he lost, but he knows the demon blood is wrong. Young!Sam throws his greatest guilt back at him and asks, “How can you run from what’s inside you?” Cue yellow eyes.

Back upstairs, Bobby and Dean go over Rufus’s news: Bad things are going down all over the world --seals are breaking fast. Bobby wonders where Dean’s angel pals are. Dean’s clueless. Bobby then wonders if they’re not thinking straight about Sam. He’s got powers they could use. Maybe they’re sidelining him because they love him too much. Dean stares blankly ahead. You can practically see: Does. Not. Compute. all over his face.

Back in Hallucination Hilton, Sam’s in his own version of a sweat lodge, sweaty and thirsty, when he gets another visitor. Mary Winchester! She’s in her lovely white nightgown with blood bling all over the front. He tells his mom that she can tell him that she’s disappointed --that he’s been a horrible son.

Instead, she commends him for his practical choices (Man, I could totally see season 12 Mary doing this! Like, she would see the bottom line. Sam needs to do this to stop the apocalypse.) (Natasha: 100% agree) I...just… “I was raised a hunter from a long line. We understand that there are gonna be hard choices. And we do what we have to to get the job done. Yes, our family is cursed. But you—you have the power to turn it into a gift. You can use it against them.” Like, we should have known all along what Mary would be like! I realize this is Sam’s own projection for needing acceptance for his actions, but man. Sam continues to doubt his choices, but Mary makes it clear that he’s doing the right thing. Dean is weak (OUCH!) and he must defeat Lilith without his brother.

Outside Bobby’s, Dean’s been praying to Cas for two and a half hours. Flap, flap, “What do you want?” STARING.

Ah, this is right after Cas was reprogrammed in heaven, so he’s kind of forgotten about his weakness for “humanity”. Dean cuts to the chase and asks Cas if Sam can really kill Lilith. MORE STARING.

Cas says that it’s possible, but he’d have to up the demon blood training, and that would change him forever. “Most likely, he would become the next creature that you would feel compelled to kill.” STILL STARING.

However, if Dean would just play his part, it doesn’t have to be this way. Dean counters with a “God, you’re a dick these days.” But agrees to serve God and “you guys.” AND THEN LITERALLY 10 SECONDS OF NOTHING BUT STARING.

Back in the panic room, Sam’s not doing so swell.

Dean fills Bobby in on his angel deal. And then they both realize that things are a little too quiet in the basement. They rush to the basement to find Sam convulsing on the ground, and then slamming into the wall. They tie him down to protect him from himself.

Later, Sam awakens to Dean questioning him about why he started drinking the demon blood. He tries justifying his actions --but it’s revealed he’s talking to an empty room.

Cut to Dean and Bobby fretting over the detox plan upstairs. Bobby worries that they’re killing Sam by withholding demon blood from him cold turkey. Dean refuses to give him blood, though. He’d rather Sam die than turn into a monster.

We jump back and forth between Sam and HalluciDean and Bobby and Dean as their conversations weave around each other. HalluciDean argues that Sam drank demon blood because he felt different his whole life; Sam’s been a monster since he was a baby. HalluciDean takes great pleasure in calling Sam a monster.

Upstairs, Dean vows to die for Sam in a heartbeat but he refuses to watch Sam destroy himself. To him, Sam has only recently started to stroll down the path towards monstrosity.

Time passes, night falls, and suddenly Sam’s cuffs come undone.

The door opens by an unseen hand. Sam calls out into the darkness. When there’s no answer he gets up and escapes up the stairs. Is it a demon? Sam’s mind powers? Nooooope. It’s Castiel who steps out from behind the basement steps. Oh, Castiel. You are breaking our fucking hearts (we didn’t realize how bad angel ‘reprogramming’ was back then which - I’M SORRY - gives me a lot more empathy for our favorite angel). Cas relocks the panic room door and flaps away.

On distant docks Castiel leans against a railing overlooking a shipping bay. He looks morose and turns around as Anna appears. “What did you do?” she asks. We learn that Cas was ordered by Heaven to let out Sam Winchester.

“You really shouldn’t have come,” he tells her, looking away. Angels appear, seize Anna, and take her away to Heaven. Cas returns to his dockside brooding.

Bobby interrupts Sam’s escape attempt and begs him not to leave. Sam challenges Bobby, telling him to shoot him if he wants to stop him. Then, catching Bobby off guard, he knocks him out with the gun, steals a car, and drives away.

Later, Bobby and Dean head into the safe room to investigate how Sam escaped. They notice the broken devils traps and guess that Ruby let Sam out. Dean heads out, angel duties be damned, to go kill himself a saucy demon temptress.

Sam holes up in a hotel room, shaking and pale from withdrawal, and waits for Ruby. She grins at the honeymoon suite he’s booked to throw off Dean, apologizes for leaving Sam alone for so long, and expresses shock at how Dean has treated Sam lately.

“It’s sad that things have gotten this bad between you two,” Ruby pouts. Sam tosses her on the bed and caresses her body. He’s looking to get some! (Some blood, that is.) He takes out a knife, slices her arm, and starts to drink. Later, Ruby tells Sam that he’s stronger now. Which is good, she says, because they’re approaching the final seal. Lilith - “Lucifer’s first” demon - is the only one who can break the last seal. Ruby has targeted a member of Lilith’s entourage in order to get close to Lilith’s location.

Cut to a hospital where two nurses are gossiping about a long-time nurse who went rogue and stole two babies.

Evil demon-possessed nurse, Lilith’s supplier of tasty babies, smiles evilly at a room full of babies. Moustache twirl. Moustache twirl.

Back with Sam, he’s looking far more pressed and washed now that he’s had a blood fix. Ruby warns him that to stop Lilith, he’s going to need even more blood. Sam reluctantly agrees and wistfully thinks about fixing things with Dean after he’s averted the apocalypse.

Bobby gives Dean an update on Sam. He’s tracked the stolen car to a ditch a few hours out from Dean and weather reports in the area focus possible demon activity on one town. Bobby advises Dean to be kind to Sam - not to push him away. Dean has always been great at managing his temper, so this should end well.

Dean tracks Sam to his hotel, busts inside the honeymoon suite, and immediately goes after Ruby with her knife. He almost has her when Sam stops him and lets Ruby escape. Sam begs to talk it over - he’s got a plan to stop Lilith. Both he and Ruby have been working to stop the seals from breaking. Dean warns Sam that he’s being manipulated by her.

Sam tells Dean about the lead on Lilith’s demon. Dean is on board as long as Ruby gets left behind. Sam refuses, though. He needs Ruby. Frankly, Dean isn't strong enough to stop the apocalypse. “My whole life you take the wheel. You call the shots. And I trust you because you are my brother,” Sam tries to explain. “Now I’m asking you for once. Trust me.”

Dean can’t, though. “It’s not something that you’re doing. It’s what you are. It means--”

The word “monster” dangles unsaid until Sam prompts him to finish his sentence.

At the word “monster”, Sam punches his brother, sending him crashing to the floor. Dean jumps up and whales on Sam in return. The two tangle in a dirty fight - broken glass, smashed furniture. Dean ends up lying on the floor gasping for breath when Sam wraps his hands around Dean’s throat and begins to choke him. He pulls back before his brother falls unconscious.

“You don’t know me,” Sam spits. “And you never will.’

“You walk out that door, don’t you ever come back,” Dean says parroting their father and probably re-enacting word for word That Time Sam Went Off To Stanford.

Sam leaves.

Self-Quotious Dicks:

If it smells like a duck…

I was raised a hunter. From a long line. We understand that there are gonna be hard choices. But we’re doing what we have to to get the job done.

They come on like shady politicians from Planet Vulcan.

Makes you feel strong. Invincible! A big bad wolf in a whole world of pigs.

#spn recap #spn 4x21 #when the levee breaks #spn pic spam #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #cas #bobby singer #ruby #anna milton #mary winchester #supernatural season 4 #destiel

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