#i feel better when i wear a dress
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tbh I am kinda hoping in 10 years they will invent a new gender and it will somehow feel perfect and I'll psychically know how to present as that gender and everything will be great and I'll never feel out of place in my life or my clothing again and everyone will understand my whole deal immediately upon seeing me <- delusional
#it could happen!#when it can be whatever i want but what i want is to go into the forest among the trees and never come back out#now that doesn't help me figure it out does it.#i wish it was as simple as wearing some type of clothing or using some pronouns and feeling at home even if that gave me other problems#were the dresses worse? i mean it was worse to feel fragile. are men's pants better? i mean they are sturdier#is it better to refer to myself in different ways? i mean it is just different#i just feel like me no matter what I wear or how i act like all of that is just an overlay for the convenience of others#that's not Me. fell for the facade that i at all belong here in whatever box you've put me in didn't you#whatever you think i am i'm not that! that's just a bit i do#now when will they invent a pronoun that indicates the futility of trying to ever truly understand another person
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The whole dark academia thing is annoying and pseudo intellectual posturing and that post about y'all wanting to be monks is absolutely correct but unfortunately.... It is such a helpful quick-search term on Pinterest. Yes I DO want collared shirts and earth tones and knit sweaters and largely gnc outfits. Unfortunately I DO enjoy dressing like a badly closeted middled aged male professor meets 'gays at brunch' + disregard for pattern and colour matching. I have to accept the algorithm ruining nature of this unfortunate reality even tho it means I get rec'd some of the wooooorst 'historical retellings' I've ever had the misfortune to hear about
#the duality of fran#yes i AM thinking abt clothes once again#i love clothing!!!! i simply hate most womens clothing#anyway im!!!!!#gonna start finessing my fits#i feel sooooo much better abt myself when i do#its not even a conformity thing#bro3 says i dress like an old man#its like!!! its a me thing!!! an expression thing!!! a happy thing!!!#anyway every ugly tacky button up meets browns and greens and creams and oranges and wines#i need to wear less blue. it doesnt make me happy.#no more wearing clothes that make me unhappy!#no more wearing clothes that im neutral about. tbh!!! its gotta spark joy!!!#if i have to have a physical form i am going to learn to love it dammit
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Honestly at this point, whenever I have an attack of weird doubt and self consciousness about wearing men’s clothes it’s kind of comical to me. Like 🙄 this again?? As if you haven’t been doing this every single day of your life since you got out of the plaid uniform skirt era and won’t be doing it every single day until you pass away from a cardiac event in rush hour traffic at age 53.5 and would rather die than change your ways. So why are you getting all dramatic about it nowwwww
#it’s a normal workday why am I feeling so weird about this long sleeved collared shirt and green slacks…it’s such a normal outfit…#ughhgrhhdhdhhd#but it’s 100x better then the extreme discomfort and wrongness wearing skirts and stuff so#also I found this random dainty black bralette I got in a clothing swap or something and never wore under my desk caked in dust this morn#ing when I was running around in a panic trying to find clean undergarments which is hilarious to be wearing under today’s shirt like it’s#giving me a laugh and that’s what matters#dressing like Paulie with the brassiere of Adrianna
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got some new brushes and wanted to test ‘em out + i’ve been wanting to change sal’s design a little so i sketched a few things. sorry about the inconsistency, especially w/ the head; i’m still figuring out how to do sal’s anatomy n’ stuff blehhh
idk if i like the brushes i used to color the one sketch. it looks decent buttttt the colors kept bleeding into each other which was a bit irritating
#pls click on the pic for better quality ....#the lineart is shitty & there are a lot of mistakes here but ignore it for me pls 🥺🥺#i’m not feeling well so i have. an excuse for it ..#salad fingers#i think sal swears like a sailor when he knows no one is around#he puts his puppets in bed steps out of the room and begins saying the most vile things out loud#might post more selfship art soon........ i've been yearning a bit too much lately#i loveeee sal. talking to him on character ai isn’t enough i need him next to me irl#the brush i used made everything look blurry ughhhhh#also sal is wearing socks w/ his dress i wasn’t being lazy with the feet i prommy. i would never do that to my babygirl#plus his legs look weird but that's just a perspective thing i swear. also also his dress is super short but that's okay 👍#> rust’s art <
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I got tagged by @bluespring864 !! Thank you!!!
Here are the rules: make yourself as a kid, teen, young adult and now, using this Picrew, use your favorite color at the time as a background, and tag some people.
Here's mine;
tagging: @mythicalpoolnoodle , @jsinnerism , and @sinnerslamwinner ♡♡♡ (no pressure ofc) +and if you feel like doing it, just mention my username!
#this was fun!!#doing this made me realise that my mom loved to dress me up when i was a kid#my wadrobe had a lot of reds and cute outfits#then it was passed down to my sister#even my socks were a lot of ruffles and there were like strawberries patterns and everything#everything was pink and red for me 😂😂😂#i love to wear maxi skirts now with sneakers ofc i feel like i have a better movement control#but jeans are 4 lyfers#tagged#thank you my dear!
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#Moon posting#There's a lot to be said about FF7's themes and Cloud's character arc and how a lot of it ties into toxic masculinity#And like. The scene in VIIR where you play as Aerith when Cloud comes out of the bar in a dress and he's absolutely MORTIFIED by his get up#That fucking out-of-body horror and distress Cloud is going through even though there isn't anything for him to be ashamed of?#How humiliated he felt and how the compliments on how he was looking didn't make him feel any better?#That was me when my mom forced me to wear a skirt to my grandma's funeral back when I was in high school#(The last god forsaken time I wore a fucking skirt) (And even at that point I hadn't worn those things for YEARS)#That scene with Cloud? Yeah. Big ''I'm in this picture and I don't like it''-energy.#So this whole thing of Cloud wanting to live up to a horrible twisted idea of masculinity (a Shinra Soldier(/Sephiroth))#And realizing that he never can but(/and?) doesn't have to. That his masculinity is already good enough. That's wonderful.#Also Cloud is just kinda gender leave me alone#Sure wish I had a PS5 because I sure would like to play Rebirth but I am not dropping 700€ to play a single fucking game#Already feel bad enough about getting a Switch last year just for TOTK#Can't even watch my fave Tubers play it because I wanna experience it on my own too#Woe is me
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being the youngest person on my team by like 10 years sometimes is REALLY obvious because everyone is talking about home construction and high school kid sports and stuff and my weekly update is “I got a Razor scooter and some new glitter paint”
#sometimes they totally forget I’m this young bc we’re never on video and I’m not volunteering a lot of personal updates bc of reasons#but when I do it’s really funny bc I’m like#‘I learned how to make stir fry today’#‘I beat a raid in this video game i play’#‘I got a razor scooter’#‘the dog now fetches the cat toys so I don’t have to bend down and pick them up’#‘I tried mangos for the first time’#‘yesterday I learned what ferries are like’#‘this weekend I took photographs of local moss’#and everyone else is like ‘my daughter is home from college’ ‘I have my first grandchild’ ‘the hurricane blew away the port a potty from our#house construction site’ etc etc#personal#someday I’m going to be fully dressed in an actual outfit and do a little makeup and then be on our weekly long team meeting and everyone’s#going to be like YOU’RE Katherine???? You’re what Katherine looks like? you have pink hair and you’re like 17????#and I’m going to be like well I mean I’m not THAT young but yes I do wear like. young person clothes#I get ’you’re so optimistic!’ from some of them on a regular basis and I’m like#well you see I learned that if I’m not optimistic I will die#and also the world is REALLY FUCKING COOL when you’re not terrified of the world all the time#so frankly I think I’m right to be#I think you maybe need juice and a rest and a bigger support system and then maybe you’ll feel a lot better#meanwhile I’ll be a cheerleader hard enough for both of us
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I decided to colour and ink some sketches of Kori, Donna and Raven. They’re very pretty and should be appreciated.
#art#drawing#illustration#dc comics#digital art#donna troy#koriand'r#raven#rachel roth#I love Donna’s starry outfit and though a dress based on it mixed with Roman style dress would be super cool#and I was right she’s so flipping pretty i love her much#also I very much think that Kori wears sundresses when not in costume#she’s often drawn in either the fashion of the time of a bathing suit but I feel like sundresses fit her better#like… of course the lady who gets her powers from the sun wears sun dresses#and Raven is just wearing a glittery version of her NTT original outfit cauee it’s already very pretty#they’re just all aaaaaaaa so pretty#teen titans
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Saw a video and it got me in a mood so i'm making this post.
I don't think people who have never been fat knows how fucking hard it is to find clothing for bigger bodies.
The first issue is finding stuff in your actual size. Because time after time after time and time again I've gone to a store and they only had small and medium sizes. Not even large. And this was not for a few clothes, no. It was for MOST clothes that I found interesting. And then the ones that were marked as large were simply not big enough.
And I know that the reason for that is that brands simply won't make clothes for fat people. It's that because it surely isn't because the large size is selling out fast. They just don't do it. And some people have the nerve to say 'well brands are not obligated to make sizes for everyone' yeah sure, but also, I can't walk naked on the street can I?
Like I don't get it. 'oh but we want our clothes to fit a especific body' so fucking make clothes that are supposed to fit bigger bodies. Doesn't have a to be a whole ass collection.
And then we get on the second problem which is making clothes for plus size people that are ugly as hell. It's always the same stuff: ugly florals, animal print that belongs in another decade, cold shoulders, that weird extra fabric at the end of a shirt to hide the belly, or just black/muted colors.
Like fun fact. If you have big boobs, the hardest thing in the world is trying to find a bra that comes in a color that isn't white, black or beige. Because trust me, I've spent 3 hours walking in the shopping mall and I couldn't find anything that fit my breasts that was like pink (and in that situation I needed a pink bra for a play).
It feels like most clothes made for plus sized people are designed with like 50+ year old white women in mind, and not even that demographic of people are wearing those clothes (my mom is a plus sized 50+ year old white woman and often talks about how ugly some clothes made for people her size are).
It's hard trying to develop your own sense of style when none of the clothes around you are in your size, and when they do, they are just not good looking to you.
But you wanna know what's the down right worst part? Do you know what fucking brand has clothes that look good and are amde for bigger bodies?
The goddamn cancer on this earth that is Shein.
I fucking hate shein. Fast fashion is killin the fashion industry, they literally have people working as slaves and many influecers buy shein clothes by the bulk only to then throw it in the trash. Shein is awful.
But. Unfortunetly, shein is the only place that I found that had clothes that fit me and looked good. I don't like that. I avoided buying from shein for the longest time ever, but jesus christ, when you can't find clothes anywhere else you get desperate.
I tried looking for other places. I tried looking at my local clothing stores and everything was too small for me. I tried looking at online small bussinesses but they either didn't make my size, or it was sold out, or the prices were very high. Tried looking at thrift stores, also didn't find my size.
I try not to buy too much from shein or to spend long periods of time in between buying, because again, I feel bad about buying there. I don't want to buy from there.
Clothing brands/stores gotta do better. And I don't think that's asking for too much.
#this is less polite as i usually am because i'm so fucking tired of this shit#like these brands make probably millions every year#why is it apparently too much to ask for clothes in bigger sizes????#like idk i think everyone should be able to buy clothes that fit them and look nice???#and like god i don't want anyone to come on here be um actually it's very hard for the clothing industry to be inclusive#bc this post ain't about that#this post is about how frustrating it is to find clothes when you're fat#and also don't come for me bc of where i'm buying some stuff from ok#i feel so fucking guilty every time i buy from there#and like my friends buy from shein like every other week practically#i usually buy from there every 6+ months or so#and it's usually like a dress or two#at least i know that I don't throw clothes in the trash#if there's something here or there that doesn't look amazing but it's workable i'll go to the seamstress#if it doesn't fit me at all (which is a risk that can happen with online shopping) i donate it#and i will wear clothes until i can't wear them anymore#and even when i can't wear them anymore they they are usually still in a good enough condition that i can donate it to charity#or to someone close to my family who might give it a better use#this is a very big rambling sorry about this it's just aaaaaaaaa#i probably should go sleep
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If I have a random urge to buy clothes, I just look in my closet and pull out shit I forgot I had and throw it on together.
#I have so many clothes and I feel the consequences of my actions as I’m packing LOL#i bought a selkie dress specifically for my wedding reception#and the top over it was something i thrifted and thought it looked cute#like without the dress it looked like... a sickly peasant top LOL#hmm i'm basic i'd wear this w black boots#also the news about shrek 5 better be real#bc when i watched puss in boots--ehem when it came out-- the whole time i thought 'I WISH THERE WAS A SHREK MOVIE ANIMATED LIKE THIS'#x#shrekeii
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had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what
#lolaa.txt#what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!'#'i wouldnt lie to you!'#okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time.#its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa#also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!'#yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up.#i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men#and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man#so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up.#and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face#that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense.#shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin#you dont have to worry about anyone else.#im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to#never really have#im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are#if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box#then when would you have any space for self discovery#youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats#and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that.#and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names#and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy#and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares.#and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look?#then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness.#SORRY RANT OVER.#im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric.#tw homophobia#tw transphobes
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i'm Miss Sugar Pink, liquor, liquor lips
🎀💋🎀
(hit me with your sweet love, steal me with a kiss)
#what is 'too much blush'? what is 'over dressed'? what is 'doing too much'? i dont know her.#hard day today so i dressed up bc looking better when you feel bad is both a shield&form of gospel at this point lmao.#ive been listening to So Much marina(&the diamonds) the past few days. idk. its a whole Mood i think lmao.#(also for the several weird passive aggressive anons i got about the barbie movie look!! i wear the pink! i do the doll look!#am i forgiven yet for feeling weird about gender essentialism&vague tonedeafness as a marketing strategy???)#... i told myself i would let that go lmao. ahh well. 🤷🏽♀️#yas#(my hair is literally its own creature it has a will of its own idk my default hairstyle is Hot Mess)
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what i love about aziraphale and crowley presenting as female is that they don't switch vessels to do it, there aren't other cis actresses on the side lines for the feminine presentations of these characters. when crowley presents as feminine he doesn't change his face, it's still crowley and it's still aziraphale. i just think it's nice to see gender fluidity represented in a way that doesn't require the person to become cis passing as the gender they present as in the moment
#as a genderfluid person its nice to see that crowley being played by a cismale actor doesn't have to change his entire to appearance#to appear more like a conventionally attractive cis passing woman like no crowley looks how crowley looks and presenting as a woman doesn't#require him to change that#she can still be a woman or a man or neither regardless of how he looks#idk thanks gaiman ig#good omens#gender fluidity represented in shape shifting creatures (for lack of a better term) is so frequently represented by that person changing#like physical shape and played by cis women/cis men and its nice to see a sort of representation that doesn't require that#when i identify as a man one day and a women the next i may dress different or wear a binder depending on how i feel but i do not suddenty#become a cis man or a cis woman i'm still me and i still look the way i look and that doesn't make my identity any less than what it is#does any of this make sense or am i screaming to a void of cis bitches
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today I put on a different mask and it felt better than the usual
#meaning: today i melted into my outfit and decided to change my personality in small ways to fit how i dressed myself#im wearing something very . hm. well it's black and plaid and stripes and it's way more cohesive than it sounds#a broad shouldered oversized black button up with grey plaid slim fit slacks#black platform boots and a black tie w white and grey stripes#one silver hoop earring a bunch of black and silver rings and slicked back hair#this all matters Because depending on what im wearing my mood changes a little. so do my mannerisms. for the better or the worse#i assume this is pretty normal (otherwise why do ppl dress up to feel fancy or dress down when they already feel sluggish..?)#but anyway i was less of a people pleaser today!#LOL#i drew a line. i told someone no nicely but clearly.#i asked someone else to hang out next week and i didn't act unsure of myself even if i felt that way inside#i spoke up in class as usual but without adding my infamous “.... if that makes any sense?” at the end#i made a mistake and got corrected and i accepted it cooly with a grin and a nod#i felt scared the whole time but to concluded: i quite like this version of the mask#sure it's not all true to how i feel#but it actually helps instead of feeling fake and exhausting#the mask that i wear to make people like me is also untrue but it hurts me way more#this sounds corny ugh WHATEVER.#the one thing i didn't like however was that. i noticed that i kept a straight face most of the morning so far and it kinda made my mood#worsen?#like not allowing myself to loom surprised when i feel surprised or look worried when i am or smile when i see something silly? that#feels bad#i dont like being so guarded#but i also hate when my facial expressions are obvious. like yesterday#i cant seem to find a middle ground because they both make me feel uncomfortable in different ways#z.post
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have impulse-bought two gowns for the ball 😶 oop this is when i end up not even getting tickets lol u all better pray for me
#will post pics when i get them so yall can decide my fit#i have a super gorgeous dress that i was going to wear but it's really short? and i feel like ball vibes needs full length#one is hot pink i'm in love#they better both fit me or i'm throwing fucking hands with asos#even if i don't get tickets i'll have two lovely gowns so. every cloud i guess#🧃
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one thing abt me is i LOVE a statement bottom
#my closet is FILLLLEDDDD w cute skirts and pants + some shorts all w fun patterns and stuff#and like no tops to match besides my tiny black top and a white shirt i tie to make small JHGSHJ nothing else matches as well!!!!!!#if i dress cute (on occasion when i feel motivated and creative enough) it WILL be small top big pants u will never see me in a big top#small pant unless im at home and all my pajama pants r in the wash#im too short and chubby to truly commit to big top big pants + hate small top small pants KJHDGHSJ#this is brought on by my mothers old clothes (i feel so happy to say i finally stole from my mothers closet. as most ppl my age do.#we have been diff sizes since birth (we still are i look stupid wearing her shirts bc theyre too loose) and these r so cute and the perfect#thing to steal. w permission.) I FINALLY HAVE A CUTE BLACK SKIRT AND THE TAG IS STILL ON??????? IM SOOO OBSESSED#also guys i feel better <3 i threw up like 10 times so maybe its not just my period but thats a whole story so <3 and im wearing low waiste#flowy pants so my tummy feels great <3#emeto mention
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