#i dunno but next time you find yourself reading that scene imagine as though john is also hearing about this for the first time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

babygirl06301 · 7 years

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I wanna talk about That Scene™

in 13x03, and I’m gonna do it line by line, so are you with me? (using this video posted by @lostboycas for reference) It’s gonna be long.

TL;DR: Just read the emboldened bits

By the way, this post is gonna endorse the hell out of Destiel, so if you don’t ship it, please don’t tarnish this post with hatred. Live and let love, dudes.

I’m going through the whole shebang and sheboozle, so we’re starting with:

D: [giving a reason as to why he said he’d kill Jack] I told him the truth. See, you think you can use this freak, but I know how this ends, and it ends bad.

S: I didn’t.

D: What?

S: I didn’t end bad... when I was the “freak,” when I was drinking demon blood.

D: Come on, man, that’s totally different.

S: Was it? Because you could’ve put a bullet in me. Dad told you to put a bullet in me, but you didn’t. You saved me. So, help me save him.

So, this piece of the conversation kind of hurt me a little bit because I feel like Dean regressed back to the Dean he used to be, which is sad. Not that Dean’s old self was bad, it’s just that he’s grown so much since then. He’s a lot more accepting of monsters and demons and “freaks” if he can be convinced they’re not evil.

Now, of course, I understand why he’s harboring such hostile opinions toward Jack (and if I didn’t understand, I got it loud and clear with this episode), but it’s sort of disheartening that he’d use the work “freak” in front of Sam after everything they’ve been through.

However, I do appreciate that Sam stuck up for Jack here without hesitation. Especially since I’m sure he understands more than anybody else what Dean’s going through, whether you liken that to how Sam felt when he lost Jess and/or Sam just simply observing the connection that Cas and Dean have built over the years. I’m liking that Sam is connecting the most with Jack right now, despite S12 setting it up for Cas having that connection (which will come later, of course). I’m so glad that Sam has his own path/storyline again. I feel like it’s long overdue.

I’m gonna put the rest under the cut so I don’t spam you guys with a wall of post.

D: You deserved to be saved. He doesn’t.

S: Yes, he does, Dean. Of course he does.

So, I know we’re all talking about this scene/line mirroring this one:

(Shameless self-promo: this photo is from my side-blog, check it out here)

and a lot of people have been talking about this parallel. @chocolatedeathwarrior made a post about it that you can see here. I kind of want to talk about something in the same vain which is that Dean blames himself for Castiel’s death--not Jack.

I think the first place we see that this season is during this scene where the angel Dean is fighting tells him that Castiel is “all the way dead” because of him.

Knowing Dean, this was kind of what I expected to see as a reaction to Cas’s death. It’s still sad, though. I do think that he’s projecting his self-hatred onto Jack because he can’t handle his true thoughts, which are that he got Castiel killed. And as much as I wish he wouldn’t take it out on my little pumpkin, I can’t blame him. Losing somebody with whom you had that kind of connection with... Well, I’m just surprised he’s still standing. Long story short, that line of dialogue in 4x01 is most likely mirrored here because Dean didn’t think he deserved to be saved back then. And, in my head, he feels guilty that Cas saved him in the first place because then Cas wouldn’t be dead today. (i.e. “If I hadn’t broken the first seal in Hell, Cas could’ve left Earth the second he sprung me, and none of the rest would’ve happened) Just... Dean’s got demons, ya know?

Another thing I kind of want to focus on here is Sam’s response to Dean saying that Jack doesn’t deserve to be saved. To me, his response tells me he sees Jack as an innocent, and I’m assuming that’s the case because he saw himself as an innocent victim as well. But I find the differences between them even more compelling than their similarities. Sam was chosen, but Jack was born into his power. Sam was given power specifically to do evil, Jack’s powers are just assumed to be evil because of their volume and their origins. Sam embraced his powers (eventually), and Jack seems to be afraid of his powers. So, by and large, Jack seems to be even more of an innocent than Sam was. Which is why Dean needs to back the fuck up off my baby.

Moving on:

D: Look, I know you think that you can use him as some sort of an interdimensional can opener, and that’s fine. But don’t act like you care about him, because you only care about what he can do for you. So, if you want to pretend, that’s fine. But me? I can hardly look at the kid. ‘Cause when I do, all I see is everybody we’ve lost.

First of all, can we just take a look at Sam’s face here when Dean says that Sam just wants to use Jack for his own personal gain?

Like, why would you say that about his little moose? Mamma Moose is gonna fuck you up.

But, honestly, that face is both amazing (because you can tell Sam really does care about Jack) and sad (because Sam’s wondering if his big brother really thinks that he’s that selfish). I mean, of course Sam would like for Jack to bring Mary back, but I also believe he really does want to fulfill Kelly and Cas’s wishes for him. Not to mention, he can connect with Jack on a level he hasn’t been able to with anybody else.

Which brings up an interesting tangent that I’m going to go on now:

Why is it that Sam, of all people, is doing what Castiel would’ve wanted? Not that it’s out of character for Sam, but don’t you think that it’d be more in character for Dean to do so because of the bond he and Cas shared? No. Because Dean not only blames Jack and blames himself, but he blames Cas. He’s furious that Cas put himself in a situation that got him killed. He’s pissed at Cas for being dead. And I don’t think Dean knows what to do with that.

Back on track:

S: Mom chose to take that shot at Lucifer. That is not on Jack.

D: And what about Cas?

S: What about Cas?

D: He manipulated him. He made him promises. Said “Paradise on Earth,” and Cas bought it. And you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now, you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!

This is it. This is the moment everybody is talking about. Including me.

Okay, for one thing, he totally disregards Mary. “Fuck her, we’re talking about Cas. Keep up, Moose Man.” Like? Both of them were killed by Lucifer (he thinks), both of them chose to protect everything they were leaving behind, so? Maybe Dean reacted differently to Cas’s death because, oh, I don’t know, their bond isn’t familial? I mean, I’m just throwing that out there, but I dunno, maybe it could be a very fucking likely possibility?

Sidebar: I was discussing this with @tobythewise, and has Dean ever called Jack by name? Because I don’t think he has, and I imagine that’s in an effort to not humanize Jack in his mind. I assume he’d rather see Jack as a thing instead of as a person.

So, now, we’re gonna talk about a thing. A thing that the anti-Destiel fans may not enjoy. I’m gonna make a statement. And it’s gonna be pretty matter-of-fact. My conviction is pretty strong here. Are you prepared?

Literally, Dean has never reacted to a loved one’s death like this.

Look at the pain, the near panic in his eyes (and, no, that is not a Hercules reference).

Honestly, make a list. Make a list of the behaviors Dean exhibited immediately following each of these people’s deaths.

John (shuts it down, doesn’t talk about it until he’s dealt with most of it on his own, privately bashes in the Impala)

Sam (immediately takes action to bring him back to life after a very short, and still private, grieving period, essentially bypassing the opportunity to feel the loss of his brother)

Bobby (ignores the pain, denies the existence of Bobby’s spirit for a long period of time)

Ellen, Jo, and Ash (ignores the pain again, accepts their deaths as his fault as well as part of the job)

Kevin (same thing, blocks out the pain, privately trashes the bunker)

Charlie (same thing, puts up a wall, only briefly berates Sam for involving her in their dangerous lives)

Mom (assumes she’s dead, won’t talk about it, accepts the loss)

Crowley (accepts the loss again)

Castiel (prays to Chuck to bring him back, openly implies to a random angel that he wants to use Jack’s powers to get Cas back, publicly screams out his pain of losing Cas to Sam, knowing full well that Jack could potentially hear)

This isn’t to say that he isn’t trying to block out Cas’s death like he does with everybody else’s, but it isn’t fuckin’ workin’, is it, mate?

And, I know. Dean has blocked out the pain of Castiel’s deaths or disappearances before, but that was because: their relationship wasn’t as developed as it is now, they just came out of a falling out, or he didn’t fucking block it out, and instead, he had dreams and nightmares about losing Cas.

So, basically, the point I’m trying to make here is that Dean is having a blown out reaction to losing Castiel, and I think it’s because he never got to say the things he needed to say to him. Things like “Thank you for everything you’ve done to save me” or “You don’t have to prove yourself to me” or “We need you here more than you realize” or “I love you.” You know, just... whatever.

Of course, it isn’t to say that Dean cares about Cas more than anybody else, because we know that’s not true. Sammy is #1, always. But it is to say that A, Castiel’s bond with Dean is significantly different than a friendship, family, or frenemy bond. B, because of that, he doesn’t know how to cope with the loss and C, the matter of the unrequited feelings and unsaid words is taking its toll.

Phew, that was a lot. I’ve only got one more thing to discuss here: Jack.

J: [whispers] Castiel.

One thing I found kind of interesting/strange was Jack’s facial expression throughout this whole scene.

It’s very neutral, almost, right? I mean, it’s puzzled, sure, but given the context of the conversation between Sam and Dean, shouldn’t he be sad or mad or something? Seeing as how this dumpling is just like his dad, I get it . I mean, he’s new to the world, he doesn’t quite understand the “ebb and flow of human emotion” (Castiel, 2013), but he didn’t even react when Sam was defending him, which I found interesting.

I made a post about this, but I’ll say it again here that Jack seems to value Dean’s opinion more than he does Sam’s. Just like Cas did. Not that Sam’s opinion is worthless, but still, Jack seems to want Dean’s approval more than he wants Sam’s. Maybe that’s because negative words reach people quicker than positive words? Maybe because Sam readily gave his approval, Jack feels he needs to focus on getting Dean’s? Maybe Jack’s connection to Cas bonded him to Dean in the same way Cas was bonded to Dean? (like how Amara used their connection to reach Dean in S11 *idea courtesy of @tobythewise.*)

The latter answer is my favorite because it reminds me that Cas learned how to be human from Dean, and what’s Jack been doing since hittin’ this green earth?

Exactly. Anyway, I find it really cute that Jack is looking up to Dean, but I also find it really sad that Dean is shutting him down like he is, and I also find it sad that Dean is in so much pain that it’s literally shooting out of him and hitting everything in sight.

So, then we see Cas.

Here’s the thing: Jack needs Cas, yes. Jack could’ve subconsciously woken Castiel up because he wanted him back. But it’s pretty coincidental that Jack did so right after hearing Dean’s literal screams of pain for Cas. I hope Jack’s not thinking that bringing/having Cas back will make Dean accept him. I know that will probably be what happens, but I want Jack to bring Cas back just because he knows it’ll make Dean happy. Ya know? Hell, maybe both of those things are his motivation. Although, I don’t think he woke Cas up consciously. But! He did say earlier that using his powers were like breathing, so waking Cas up for Dean must of felt pretty natural to him, huh?

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got. I love, love, love this season so far. I love the Dabb era. I love that Castiel is getting the screen time and love that he deserves. I love that Jack is one of the best characters to ever join the show (which is impressive after 13 seasons). I love that Sam is a little Mamma Moose. I love that Dean is finally grieving Cas. I love it all. After a particularity grueling hellatus, I’m looking forward to more. Let me know your thoughts!

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ridiculousn3sswrites · 7 years

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Sitcom

*John Laurens x Reader

*Summary: Reader is in broadcasting with the Hamilsquad and the teacher assigns a web series sitcom (think The Office) for the midterm.

*Warnings: Swearing (putting this before I even write the imagine, I think it’s safe to assume)

*A/N: So, I’m back. My broadcasting class is actually doing this, so if any of you guys want to see my horrid self and my class do a low-budget sitcom, I’ll post the videos as we upload them to YouTube. (I dunno, my teacher is trying to make us have a bigger online presence than the five subscribers that we currently have so here’s kinda a promo) This’ll also be a mini series type of thing, somewhat following the plots for my class’s show. Written by Admin R

“Alright, everybody, settle down! We’re starting on a new project today,” Mr. Washington said as everybody was chattering, all eight of you. Your class was definitely small, having only Alexander Hamilton, John Laurens, Lafayette, Hercules Mulligan, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, Aaron Burr, and yourself in it. “Remember those character sheets I assigned last week? I started on a rough draft of the script for the sitcom that’s going up on our YouTube. Everyone look at the document and make any changes you need to. We’re doing a read-through by the end of the week and start filming by next Wednesday at the latest.” With that, Washington released you all to do your work, going over to the editor’s room where he was helping an AVID teacher with an advertisement for the next broadcast.

You got on Washington’s main computer, looking through the script that he had started. “You know, Washington’s a great guy and all but some of this stuff is just cringe,” you commented to no one in particular as your eyes scanned over the different lines.

“I’m not in this one?” You heard Lafayette ask loudly from across the room.

“To be fair, this entire thing is basically Alex and Thomas arguing,” Aaron Burr spoke, which was a relatively rare occasion.

“And my character’s just done with this whole nonsense,” you said, somewhat proud. You had been aiming for your character to be the sarcastic one who just stared into the camera when something particularly stupid happened.

“Hold up, why is (y/n) mean to everyone except for John in this?” Alex asked, scrolling through the script on his laptop.

“I’m not mean to Hercules either,” you said, trying to stop the heat rising in your cheeks. Under ‘character relations’ on the character sheet, you had made sure to put down that your ‘character’ had a soft spot for the freckled boy. Washington had obviously seen it, but erased it from the character sheets he put for the class to see. You looked at your phone, praying that no one would notice your flushed face.

“I think someone’s going soft for Laurens,” you heard Thomas whisper beside you, looking up and seeing him standing besides you, crouched slightly so he could whisper that to you.

“Fuck off, Jefferson,” you groaned. Thomas was actually one of your close friends and the one that had convinced you to join broadcasting in the first place, not that the way you two interacted would give that away.

“And yet you don’t deny it,” Thomas replied with a shit-eating grin.

“A lack of denial isn’t necessarily an admission,” James spoke up, sitting on one of the desks near you both.

“Thank you, James,” you beamed at him, glad that someone knew where you were coming from. Even though your lack of denial had been an admission of sorts, but you wouldn’t let Thomas know that.

“John’s been awfully quiet about all this. How do you feel about a romantic subplot with you and (y/n)?” Thomas spoke directly to the boy in question. John took out his earbud, seeming somewhat confused.

“What? I was watching a YouTube video,” John explained, head tilted slightly.

“About turtles again,” you heard Hercules mutter. You smiled a bit at that, finding John’s love for turtles endearing.

“You might want to look a little less lovesick if you don’t want Thomas on your case,” James advised in a whisper, making you wipe the smile right off of your face. You nodded at him in thanks, getting only a smile in reply. Your gaze drifted back over to the other side of the class, ignoring the argument that had erupted between Alex and Thomas. Your eyes met John’s, making your face flush even more as you quickly looked to the ground. You weren’t sure how you’d make it through filming this assignment.

Wednesday had finally arrived, and after some major edits made to the script, everything was ready to film. Washington had already had to pull apart Alex and Thomas when they got a bit too into their roles, so everyone was a bit wary of them while filming. “He’s so annoying, acting like new royalty but dressing like the pits of fashion,” Thomas complained as everyone waited for Alex to finish filming his solo scene.

“Really? You wear a magenta jacket half of the time, should you really be talking?” You sassed, looking up at him. You heard someone stifling a laugh, looking out of the corner of your eye to see John covering his mouth as he laughed. You smiled, feeling a bit of pride knowing that you’d made him laugh.

“I am offended,” Thomas deadpanned, holding a hand over his heart.

“Good to know,” James said, coughing into his handkerchief.

“You got sick again?” you asked, looking at him. James nodded as a coughing fit took over. Your gaze drifted back over to the other side of the class where John, Herc, and Laf were talking about something. John caught you staring, giving you a bright smile which you shyly returned.

“Nooo,” Thomas gasped as he saw what was going on. “Don’t tell me that-”

“Well, I’m not telling you anything even if it was,” you cut him off, trying not to seem too guilty. It didn’t work, especially if Thomas’s look of disbelief was anything to go by.

“You are! That’s why you’re sweet on him in the show!” Thomas exclaimed a bit too loudly, drawing attention from the group on the other side of the room.

“Thomas, shut up,” you hissed, pulling on his arm to force him to sit. “Even if I did, it’s none of your damn business.”

“It’s entirely my business! The second you become involved with him, you become involved with Hamilton!” Thomas whispered back furiously. “I would’ve been fine if it had been Lafayette, but Laurens? Really? That’s Hamilton’s best friend.”

“I know, but ever stop to think that they’re not all that bad?” You proposed, knowing that Thomas would immediately be against it.

“I’ve tried, and it’s not true. Again, only Lafayette is acceptable,” Thomas told you.

“Yeah, well I’m not into Laf, I’m into John. And it’s weird how similar you two look,” you argued.

“See, you just admitted it,” Thomas replied with a smug grin. You looked over for help from James, but all he did was shrug. You knew that you had just dug your grave, but you were refusing to lay in it just yet.

“Hey, (y/n), John, we’re filming your guys’ part,” Aaron said, ignoring the newfound tension in the class. Thomas’s earlier outburst hadn’t escaped the Hamilsquad’s attention, and now you had to go on camera and slightly flirt with John for your grade. Great.

#john laurens x reader #hamilton imagine #john laurens imagine

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