#i don’t wanna talk about it. valen + his take on love and the healing is something I can never talk about | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cashweasel · 7 months

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Got tagged by besties @night-triumphantt and @sysba who I’ll be sending my therapy bill to for making me take this quiz for blorbos but maybe it’s also partly my fault bc I can’t resist taking quizzes esp if they’re about ocs

Tagging @lawrencebarkley @sosolenoo @heaventides

What kind of love are you?

valen - love that heals

your love is healing. it burns you with every bit of your soul, but you choose to heal, nevertheless. you are so, so so strong and i hope you know that. i send you peace. i send you calm. i hope things will become better for you in time, just as you have made others better in time as well.

gideon, yazan, hyacinth - love that lasts

love unconditional, love unfailing. you love no matter what happens because you believe in the best – of you, and them. it will hurt and it will fail you, but this love tastes so sweet – you can never believe that it bitters sometimes. the way you choose to love unconditionally is incredible.

karima - love that protects

you love so fiercely, with every fibre of your being. maybe you were wounded by love in the past ; such that you choose to love and love and love so wonderfully that the next person who comes into your life never doubts that they are loved by you.

shaheen - love that strengthens

you make sure that people know that they are loved, and you give them strength when they need it the most. this is an ability that is rare; the love that you hold speaks wonders of yourself. i hope you're doing alright. isn't it exhausting always being the bigger person?

angie - love that calms

this is sweet. i hope you know that you make others feel at ease around you. you're a gem, a blessing, a treasure – and you should know it. it's comfortable loving you. it's a privilege to be around you and to be let into your world.

Also I just wanna point these out because- I was so attacked, triggered even, hurt also

how dare you put these very specific quotes in a quiz a I was meant to take for yazan and gideon

#love that heals STOP #and why is it the saddest 😭😭😭#i mean for him I know why 😭💀#and it makes so much sense it hurts #i don’t wanna talk about it. valen + his take on love and the healing is something I can never talk about #I’m simply not strong enough for this it’ll make me cry #but also silas getting the same 💀💀💀 FHSKAKDJ I’m sorry it’s funny but it shouldn’t be #that’s why they’re 🤝 fjdkskdjfh #the worst thing that happened to yazan is losing his bestie for a couple of years and you can tell fkskdkfjw #not all the emo boys getting love that lasts fjdkskfj #men that are in love with their best friends what’s going on with u lmaooo #karima’s accuracy offends me #shaheen is also spot on and Angie is so wholesome it’s 🥹 I love that #i love how all the blorbos literally have the same ones and then daemon and karima kinda complement each other aaghhhhoiuubu #ross where is galael?? my girlboy I’m never destined to see them in any of these :(#i wanna know whic type of love they are and all that fjdkskdj #tag game #uquiz #my ocs #oc: valen isilien #oc: yazan hadidi #oc: karima #oc: Angie #oc: gideon turbereth #oc: hyacinth urrun

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not-a-space-alien · 1 year

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K&J x MMSS 3: Kane & Valen Part 7

Chapter 7 of the third crossover with @whumpsday!

In this chapter:

K&J masterlist

MMSS masterlist

K&J x MMSS crossover masterlist

SERIES IS 18+ ONLY.

Warnings: Death wish/suicidal ideation, nonconsensual bondage/restraint, gag/muzzle, torture/aftermath of torture, burns/skinning, misgendering of a transmasculine character (non-malicious)

To be added to the taglist, contact @whumpsday

***

The hunters leave Kane alone for a bit while he heals. In the meantime, they begin regularly torturing Valen.

Kane keeps his promise and begs on Valen's behalf, and it works about a quarter of the time to make the pain a little less or the duration a little shorter. He wishes there was more he could do to help.

On the day that Kane is looking just barely healed enough to be able to coherently take a punishment, a hunter instead comes down and informs him that Jim Lieberman is coming to pick him up.

Kane is hysterical. He and Valen are going to be separated. The one good thing in his life, gone. And Valen will still be here, having to endure everything alone, unable to even beg.

Valen's brain short-circuits. Kane is hysterical at the thought of leaving. Kane doesn’t want to leave. It feels wrong to not want to leave, but then the crushing weight of it hits him. Jim was Kane's victim. The hunters are going to give Kane to Jim, but not Valen. They're going to be separated.

"No no no, PLEASE! Please don’t give me away, please let her come, too!" Kane wails, but his pleas go unacknowledged.

He clings tightly to Valen, sobbing into his shoulder. "I don't wanna leave you!"

In contrast to the distressed, wailing man clinging to him, Valen is once again silent and still, eyes glassy, face lax. They're going to take away his Kane, and Valen will be alone.

And Valen is dying.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have killed you.” Kane holds Valen close like he'll be torn away the second he loosens his grip. “I d-don't know what I was thinking. I'm so sorry you're here. I love you."

Like moving through a dream, Valen lifts a hand to Kane's arm, taking it gently. There's so many things to say, but he gave up on that long ago. He talks with touches, now. The animalistic brain that can only see what's in front of it is back. In this exact second, they are together, and this second is all that exists, and if he just takes it one second at a time, he can handle it.

A week later, when a hunter comes to take Kane away, he is not obedient. For the first time in years, he is defiant. He has found something worth the punishment for defiance.

He has to be pried off of Valen. Padded wrist and ankle cuffs and a padded muzzle are affixed to him, and he doesn’t even acknowledge the mercy of it. He struggles and screams and writhes, looking back at Valen, eyes full of terror.

Valen lies limp on the ground, looking up at Kane through his hair, eyes dull and hopeless. He does not even have it in him to cry anymore.

As soon as Jim removes Kane's muzzle and allows him to speak, Kane drops his head to the ground and tearfully apologizes profusely for everything, begging for mercy. And he's driven away, away from Valen, unsure of what horrors his new life will hold.

But when they arrive home, Jim is, somehow, kind. He gives Kane clothes, and a bed, and a blanket, and bandages his wrists, and assures him he won't hurt him, and says that the torture was bad. It's at the end of that first night, when Jim is about to leave him alone to rest, when Kane’s developed just enough trust to think Jim might honor his begging, that Kane dares to ask.

"Jim, I..." He drops to his knees. "Thank you so much, so, so much for your mercy. I can't possibly be more thankful for the kindness you've shown me tonight. B-but, and, and I know the last thing I should be doing is asking f-favors from you after what I've done, but... it's not for me. My, my friend, she's still there, with the hunters. She's not like me, she didn't do anything, she didn't hurt anyone."

Technically, Kane doesn't know this for sure, it was not something they discussed during their brief day of conversation. But it doesn’t matter. He would say anything to make sure Valen is safe. "Please, they're torturing her. Please, please, help her. I'll do anything, Jim, anything. Please, she didn't do anything." He's crying by this point, hoping Jim's mercy extends far enough for that and he won't just call him ungrateful, taking all the amenities away and leaving Valen to rot.

"Okay. Okay. Calm down." Jim says. "I'll help. No one deserves that shit. I'll help your friend get out of there, okay?"

Kane bursts into a flurry of thankful babbling that Jim cannot shake him from. He's never been so grateful in his entire life. Jim calls the hunters and requests the other vampire too. There's some hesitation, but Jim is able to talk them into it: all he has to do is play up that it would help him heal, to have another vampire in his custody. The thought makes him sick, what these hunters are assuming would help him, but at least it makes him able to get the other one out of there.

Jim has already driven a long-ass way tonight, and kind of wishes Kane told him about this sooner, though Kane had thought Jim was going to just me another tormenter, and hadn't thought asking for a favor would do any good until after they'd gotten home.

He asks the hunters to not hurt the other vampire before he gets there, and goes back down to tell Kane that the hunters said yes, and he'll be off to go get her as soon as he gets some sleep.

Valen spends that time lying on the floor exactly where he’d been dropped. Unresponsive to anything, even commands.

Kane is gone. Kane was the one who urged him to follow commands, to make things even a little better for himself. Kane had been the only reason he’d been putting in any effort at all into trying to make things better.

Valen knows now things will never get better. He is alone. He’ll be alone and scared and in pain for the rest of his life. That could be a day, or it could be a thousand years. He has no way of knowing, or of helping himself.

Some unknowable amount of time later, some hunters come down and start issuing him commands, to which he does not respond. The hunters wrangle his limp, uncooperative body to move him. He is put in padded wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs, which his brain manages to register as unexpected.

The hunters are unwilling to take off and replace the silver muzzle, which is the one thing he actually wants replaced. He is not told what's going on. He's wrapped up in a tarp, given it's daytime now, and taken outside to Jim. Being in the tarp is scary. Not knowing what’s going on is scary. But he dares not struggle, knowing the tarp is what keeps him from burning.

Jim picks Valen up, far too light. "It's okay. I'm taking you somewhere safe, alright? Kane begged me to come get you."

He can hardly believe what he's hearing. I'm taking you somewhere safe? That doesn't seem right. But...Kane begged me to come get you. Yes, that did make sense. Kane would do that, and Kane is good at begging.

He feels his hope returning a little. There is still love in the world, and some of it is for him.

Valen lies completely still and limp, pliant in this new stranger's hands, doing whatever he asks.

Jim hesitates for a bit, trying to decide where to put Valen. It's not that warm, so he thinks the trunk might be safer, just in case the tarp is jostled by his driving. "I'm gonna put you in the trunk just to make sure no sun gets to you, okay? It's a few hours' drive, and I'll take you out as soon as we get home."

Valen does not respond. He thinks this sounds fine. But he cannot even make any sounds. He thinks he could probably nod his head, but he's just sort of resigned himself to being carried around and subjected to whatever is going to happen, and he feels no real desire to change that. Maybe Jim doesn't know that he can't make any sounds.

Jim does not know.

He has not seen under the tarp.

Valen has been told he's going to be taken somewhere safe, and with Kane, and maybe it was a lie, but in this moment he was safe enough, and only hurting a little bit, so he's content to just take whatever is going to happen to him.

He allows himself to be lowered into the trunk without squirming. Without moving at all, or making a sound. Maybe Jim thinks I'm dead, Valen thinks. Maybe that's why he agreed to come get me.

Jim gently places Valen into the trunk and drives home over a period of hours. He is really, really sick of driving by this point. He opens the trunk, takes Valen out, and brings him inside.

Kane is locked in the basement, but can hear that Jim's arrived home, and is so unbelievably excited. They haven’t even been apart for a full 24 hours, but he misses Valen dearly.

Jim makes sure all his blinds are closed, then unwraps the tarp. His hand flies to his mouth in shock: Valen looks even worse than Kane, and that's saying a lot. "Holy shit. It's, it's okay, you're safe now. I'm not gonna hurt you, alright?"

Valen uncoils from the center of the tarp, moving in a slow, dreamlike way. He looks up at Jim placidly, with soft, grateful eyes.

He blinks at Jim slowly and crawls forward a little, at Jim's feet, and leans into him, sighing contentedly. This is the closest to calm and safe he's felt in ages. He's in...some guy's house, which used to terrify him, but now this feels...almost normal.

At least this one’s not freaking out like Kane was. "That muzzle... it's burning you, isn't it? Can I take it off?" He knows that Valen is dangerous, that any vampire other than Kane is gonna have persuasion, but the evidence of the lack of vocal cords is right there. He has a padded one he can put on later- not now, but when Valen's had some time to heal up.

Valen tiredly looks up at him, almost uncomprehending. He nods slowly. Yes, please take it off. That would be so lovely. He hasn't had no muzzle on since that time when he'd had a brief stint of freedom with Kane. He already can't remember what it feels like.

The hunters had given Jim the key to it, but Jim hadn't realized the entire muzzle was silver at the time. He undoes the lock, then tries to pull it off, but it's stuck fast to Valen's face. "Um... you want me to do this fast or slow?" He realizes Valen can't answer that, and asks again, using his fingers to hold up 1 and 2.

Valen looks at him dreamily, barely here. There is nothing to try and escape from, but he can't bring himself to care about anything that is happening. It hardly makes any difference whether it comes off fast or slow. Anything hardly makes any difference at all now that he's away from those hunters. He is floating on a cloud that it feels like he won't come down from. He does not answer, instead gently wrapping his hand around Jim's fingers and nodding.

Jim begins to pick up on the fact that Valen is not all there, at least not right now. "Okay, I'm just- I'm gonna try my best. It'll probably hurt, I'm sorry. I dunno how else to do this." He pulls harder, tearing the muzzle from Valen's face, the skin ripping away with it.

Oh, that is enough to bring Valen back down to earth, slamming into the ground. He feels the pain now, having dissociated for long enough to block it mostly out.

Jim keeps apologizing the whole time, and has to stop halfway through, taking a squeamish break from the horrific sight of Valen’s mangled face. He returns to finish it as soon as he gets his bearings. At last, the muzzle is off, as well as half of Valen's face.

"I'm gonna grab you some bandages." Jim says, clammy and pale. "Just stay right there, okay?”

The muzzle is off. Valen still can't speak because of his missing vocal cords, and he's still beat half to death and back, and everything still hurts, but the muzzle is off, and Valen's head is clearer now. His face is throbbing, feeling hot blood dribbling down his neck, but he nods. That would be lovely, thank you. You're very kind.

Jim returns and begins covering Valen's face in gauze. He looks like he's cried a little, but hastily wiped his tears before returning to Valen. "I just don't understand how anyone could do that to someone." he whispers with horror.

Jim is kind, Valen decides instantly, and he would do anything for Jim. Valen doesn't understand how anyone could do it, either. He'd never understood it even when it'd been vampires tormenting humans.

Valen is looking forward to a time when he can thank Jim properly. He has no idea how long it will be, but he can be patient.

Valen lifts a hand to help Jim hold the gauze in place, grateful for it. He hasn't had a wound properly bandaged in ages.

"Thanks." Jim finishes wrapping Valen's face up. "Now that you're a proper mummy, let's uh, get these off too. You don't need 'em." He removes Valen's wrist and ankle cuffs. "I'll go grab you some clothes and then... you can see Kane, if you want?"

Valen leaps up in excitement, eyes sparkling. Yes, please, please, I need my Kane. Please give him back. He barely cares enough to revel in his wrists and ankles being free.

He saw the basement door when he was unwrapped from the tarp, and saw that it had silver on it. He guesses that Kane is down there. He points to it, a silent question, a look of urgency on his face.

"Yeah, he's down there. He's okay. I haven't hurt him and I'm not gonna. I'll let him up here in just a minute, alright? C'mon." Jim takes Valen's hand and leads him to his room, where the clothes are, and begins rifling through his closet again.

Valen follows him half-heartedly, keeping his eyes trained on the door. When Jim brings him into the bedroom, Valen waits patiently. He would rather go down right away, but if Jim doesn't want to see him nude, he can wait. He is so very eager, though.

But this is okay. Jim obviously thinks torture is wrong, and he's being given clothes, and this place seems nice, and his Kane is here. This will be okay for a while, he thinks.

Jim gives Valen a change of clothes, a pretty basic comfortable t-shirt, sweatpants, boxers, and socks. "I'll wait outside, just come out when you're done changing, okay?" He leaves the room and shuts the door.

Hm? Jim wants him to change in private? That's different. Why would either of them care? This is just Valen, after all. Oh well.

He changes into the clothes eagerly, sorry to get them a bit dirty with his soiled body, but they're comfy. The socks are the best part. They're thick and fluffy. He patters out when he's done, absolutely beaming. He points downstairs. Now? Please?

"Yeah, alright. Let's get you guys a reunion."

***

K&J x MMSS crossover taglist:

@barebarb

@cc1010foxy

@emcscared-whumps

@melancholy-in-the-morning

@pigeonwhumps

@secretwhumplair

@some-thrilling-heroics

@t0rture-me

@thecyrulik

@thejinglingcourtjester

@vehan-tikkun-olam-and-stuff

@whuarri

@whump-cravings

@whump-my-heart-away

@whumpycries

@wolfeyedwitch

@why-not-ask-me-a-better-question

#whump #vampire whumpee #MMSS #K&J #angst #whumpblr #hurt/comfort

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