#i don’t even know what to tag this with but hopefully the readmore will at least give ppl the gist of what we are discussing here
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beta spoilers ahead!
(will have this tagged appropriately ofc but since I’m on mobile I can’t add a readmore, apologies!)
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something I think tgc REALLY needs to learn is that there’s a difference between making something challenging and making something tedious.
the new update to Eden manages to add a little challenge with the new dynamic for the latter half of stormlock (what was once all endless rain) but that new crawling mechanic for the last stretch just… sucks the fun out of it. it’s not suspenseful or difficult or engaging, it’s just a frustrating test of patience holding the virtual joystick waiting for your character to crawl at a snail’s pace towards the next statue. they tried to lower the walking speed for when you run out of light before, people didn’t like it so they backpedaled, and now they’re bringing it back with a new animation? It’s a little different this time, since they’ve essentially cut the infinite rain area in half, but even the half the remains is just… painful to sit through. if the penultimate level of your game makes me say “man I wish the core mechanic of this area was literally anything else, I’m so bored,” that’s a problem!
I do plan on leaving beta feedback on this ofc, but some concepts (unlikely to ever be implemented in entirety, but maybe some bits and pieces?)
remove infinite rock rain entirely. or, have it surround the Eye, and only the Eye. (more on that in a bit.)
have the player’s call get weaker the closer they get to the Eye or the more damage they take. this would limit people cheesing Eden by spam calling, but would also make it unnecessary to gut a major part of a cooperative mechanic in a cooperative multiplayer game.
for the part that is currently infinite rain in beta: have it still be rain in waves, but make the rocks much more damaging and remove sconces. no recharging. if you can make it through and light everything without being hit, maybe you can make it to the Eye.
initially, I was going to say “add more statues to the end, the last three are super tedious as-is and almost not worth the time.” but canonically, it makes sense that there would be fewer to make it that far, and I think something else could be more rewarding.
Okay, now to talk about that whole Eye thing. At the end of the statues, past any shelter, the rock rain should be constant and horrendous. crawling here would be fine and dandy. but I’d like to see a point to it. a final destination, only accessible once you’ve done Eden enough times to learn the routes and the timing and collected enough light to survive the rain (maybe ~150, factoring in the statues lit? it’s the current benchmark for 11 charges and achievable with fairly consistent play over a few months’ time, but it’s not a huge grind or year-long ordeal. so, ~70 for statues and slip-ups, and 80 lost in the infinite rain/Eye itself? that’s not too bad.) it should also only be accessible provided you’ve given light to a certain number of statues (or all of them?) in the current run, to prevent people just making a beeline for the Eye without lighting anything.
if you wanted to be really mean, slap a krill here. add small shelters to crawl under. engagement and all that. with that being said, lore-wise, I can’t imagine even a krill would brave the worst of stormlock.
what would be in the Eye? well, I don’t know. some kind of lore, hopefully. the King’s body or spirit, corrupted as they may be? the truth behind Eden? the “true” ending of the game, in which the King doesn’t want to be saved, and so you must go to orbit without them again? Megabird? a ton of statues? who knows. it shouldn’t be safe or somewhere you can stand around, though - no home option (if the game closes you respawn here instead of home,) and maybe it could be a “the day after tomorrow” situation, where there aren’t any rocks knocking you over (so you can stand and explore freely) but even just being there saps the light from you. or super-crabs. or another leviathan. give me weird implausible murder weather (eerie version) or Big Dog please and thank you
all in all, I hate seeing them take something somewhat challenging (and occasionally tedious) and make it… just more tedious. keep me engaged, tgc!! I don’t need an Advanced Gamer Parkour Arena, but I would like to see the last part of the most challenging part of the game be something other than… Hold Joystick And Wait To Push Button. hell, you can even keep the crawl mechanic! but give people a chance to avoid that slog by learning the route, and add a reward to make those who brave the worst of it feel it’s worth the time invested.
#sky cotl#beta spoilers#sky beta spoilers#Eden spoilers#season of shattering#season of shattering spoilers
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I posted 1,780 times in 2022
That's 479 more posts than 2021!
47 posts created (3%)
1,733 posts reblogged (97%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@purplespacefairy
@deepest-dope
@sparrow-va
dingdongyouarewrong (hopefully thus mentionn't, but if otherwise, hi saz-)
@nastypass
I tagged 1,771 of my posts in 2022
Only 1% of my posts had no tags
#reblog - 1,472 posts
#'reblog' - 240 posts
#fire emblem - 161 posts
#fucking incredible - 118 posts
#. - 84 posts
#beautiful - 66 posts
#fódlan fe - 61 posts
#pokémon - 42 posts
#ace attorney - 40 posts
#perfect - 35 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#it's about protecting the rights of the accused. it's about having a voice in the procedings that says the state can't just do as it pleases
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
a few days ago, I finished the Azure Gleam route on FE Warriors: Three Hopes! so here’s me, back at it with all the opinions and takes and criticism and whatnot
(jesus they really just put the post up in here in integra. I put a readmore on that thing for a reason! just, here, let me link you there instead)
23 notes - Posted July 29, 2022
#4
airlock grades the villain archetypes: Three Houses edition
(so, this post is going to be, in fact, long as fuck -- which is a good opportunity to once again plug my dreamwidth, where you can read this post with more tidily organzed sections, as well as individual spoiler warnings on each one!)
you know, it's an interesting coincidence, it really is. when I originally started making those villain grading posts, we were just a few months away from a long-anticipated new Fire Emblem release, and that moment gave me the idea to take on that little exercise for a number of reasons.
and then, here we are, about three months shy of three years later. for a number of different reasons, I started to think about finally making a follow-up post, seeing how I'd compare the antagonists from Three Houses to their predecessors. freshly boosted on new meds, I whip out a very long draft for a post in just a few days. and then, the day after I was done, a long-anticipated new Fire Emblem release is announced. and so, just on a whim of fate, I'm technically returning to this text post series under the same conditions as I started it! isn't it poetic?
(funny thing is that they eventually decided to put a cutoff on this one, but only after enduring the entire preface AND all of the section on Thales. anyway, still best I cut it off myself right here, and you can see the full version right here -- or on dreamwidth, via the link above!)
28 notes - Posted February 28, 2022
#3
okay, yeah, so, I think I’ve officially seen this one spelling error happen one too many times in fanfic. and like, I don’t like to be pedantic, but I guarantee that if you trip over this one you will punt readers off the narrative and into the stratosphere
so let’s understand the difference here:
a segue is a fluid movement from one state into another, or a rhetorically opportune change of subject. for example: “Since she brought up the lawn, I managed to segue into complaining about what happened to my flower garden.”
a Segway (R) is a two-wheeled battery-powered micromobility vehicle, typically associated with mall cops, dorks, and dorky mall cops. for example: “I’m still upset that her idiot cousin drove his Segway all over my flowers.”
as you can imagine, if you tell me about the segway that your character just pulled, that will immediately shatter the illusion that they’re a smooth talker.
36 notes - Posted August 23, 2022
#2
so there was that whole fiasco with a map of Europe going around claiming to be about in which countries it is or isn’t typical to feed one’s houseguests, and this is now being regarded as an open fiasco because it’s come to light that the map is false and does not correspond to any real information about the countries highlighted, even though a lot of people were quick to throw stones at the ones where it supposedly was not common to feed one’s houseguests
I suppose it’s as good a time as any for me to point out that, as far as I’m concerned, this was a fiasco well before then, and wouldn’t have been one bit less of a fiasco if the map had been 100% true.
because here’s the thing... it may be the case that, when presented with the idea that it may not be common in some cultures to feed one’s houseguests, your instant, kneejerk reaction is to think, huh, that sounds inconsiderate and antisocial. if that’s what you thought, though, and if you chased that thought all the way down to the end and to its logical conclusions, then what I’d really like to ask is... who the fuck died and made you the arbitrer of other people’s cultures???
I’m not saying that a cultural difference justifies any and everything, but man alive, how jingoistically arrogant do you have to be in order to make and sincerely believe in snap-judgements like these? how do you decide, based just on a colorful little map, void of any other context, void of any other information on what the people of a certain country are like, that they’re just rude as hell because in your mind that one thing you heard sounds rude as hell? what head-spinning idiot attitude is this where you think you can pass judgement on an entire people, based on so little?
so if nothing else, what I’d really like for this mess to pass on in people’s minds is not just that they should maybe check sources and not believe everything that’s presented to them in a colorful little map -- but really most importantly, that when you’re hearing and thinking about a whole other culture, you should, no, must, approach it with the attitude of a listener and a learner, not the attitude of someone who knows better.
74 notes - Posted May 31, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
so I found out about ryunumber a while back and what can I say, this is the exact kind of shlock that I can spend entire days thinking about
I thought about asking about some Fire Emblem character or another, but then I realized -- oh, right, I could actually easily discern the Ryu Number of every single Fire Emblem character myself in just a few broad strokes. so... this is me, taking on that challenge!
(yeah, this one had a readmore too; check the post out here -- or better yet, check out the follow-up from the legends themselves, which is the reason why this is my post with the most notes this year. just ahead of the lengthy sociological tirade!)
77 notes - Posted June 19, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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making the supernatural fandom more accessible
hey fellow spn fans!! what if we all teamed up to make the spn tumblr experience more accessible?
it sucks that some of the best posts this fandom churns out are completely unreadable to bloggers who use screen readers (or heck, even to people whose wifi sucks so that images never load).
take the amazing scripts that we’re currently so pumped about -- imagine you use a screen reader (if you don’t), and you hear fellow fans going completely feral over content you can’t access. you want to be in on the hype! but you have zero clue why everyone’s screaming about windmills or whatever, because the scripts getting shared are un-captioned screenshots.
...and then there are posts that are just. walls of text! which is really difficult for certain neurodivergent folks to read, such as those with adhd.
being aware of that when making original posts (or comments) and adding more paragraph breaks -- and possibly even spicing up the text by bolding important parts, etc. -- is an easy fix for that!
so. here’s my proposal: each one of us commits to whatever level of effort is possible for us (given each person’s unique time, energy, abilities, etc.) in the joint effort to improve accessibility.
Level 1: the ID hunter.
when you go to reblog any spn post that includes images (whether that’s gifs, screenshots, fanart, etc.), check in the notes to see if someone else has added an image description already!
if they have, reblog from them so that the image description spreads further.
"BUT what if someone added the image description before certain commentary was added to the post, and i wanna reblog the post with those extra comments?”
Well, i can’t speak for everyone who creates image descriptions, but i for one don’t care if someone copies & pastes my ID so that they can add it to their own reblog. i don’t care that my blog’s no longer connected to the image description i wrote -- so long as the ID is spread, i’m happy!
Level 2: the copy-paste monster.
when you love another fan’s tags enough to add them to the post -- do so by copy & pasting them, not by screenshotting them!
for your own posts or comments: if you’re sharing, say, a quote from an article or a fanfic or a tweet, do so by copy & pasting the quote instead of taking a screenshot.
if someone else has already shared a screenshot from an article, fanfic, or tweet, and you have a link to the original, do the extra legwork to go to the source, copy and paste, and make an ID.
Level 3: the fandom angel.
If you have the ability, time, and energy to type out image descriptions for spn posts that don’t yet have one, please do it!
If even just a few of us commit to creating even just one ID per day each, that will add up!
And, of course, if you’re making your own post, give it an ID right there in the original posting, if you’re able! I understand that not everyone has the spoons (/time/energy/ability) to do this, and that’s okay. But those who can, please do!
Tumblr now allows you to put alt text on images, so you can do it that way or the old-fashioned way of just including your image description in the text of the post.
Not sure how to write an image description? This post offers some truly comprehensive advice on how to write IDs for various types of content, from photos to fanart to charts to screenshots of text.
By the way, I’ve seen folks ask that you don’t put the ID under a readmore. Keep it easy to access!
Nervous that you’re not gonna write an ID right?
First off, practice makes perfect -- you’ll improve with time.
I’m pretty sure that an imperfect or incomplete ID is better than no ID at all -- hopefully someone else will come along to reblog with any necessary corrections to whatever ID you write!
Level 4: the man of letters (gn).
You’re going above and beyond what this post advises -- you’re also out there coming up with and implementing other ways to improve accessibility!
Maybe you’re a blogger who uses a screen reader yourself, with more you want to add to this post from your own experience.
Maybe you’ll choose to seek out bloggers who use screen readers themselves -- or who have other accessibility needs -- so you can learn straight from them what their needs are.
Maybe it’s something else! I don’t know, but I do know this post is incomplete -- so please, share your ideas for other ways we can all work together to improve our fandom.
None of us has to do everything, but most of us can do something. If enough of us take even just small steps, we can create a more accessible fandom. Who’s with me?
If you’re in, please reblog this post so word can spread!
(I’m closing this by tagging some bloggers whom i’m hoping might be interested in helping me spread this around, because i am Not A Big Name in this fandom and can’t do it by myself! Let me know if you want me to un-tag you.)
@sunforgrace @castiellesbian @plantdadcas @jenderstudies @youchangedmedean @meadowdean @winchestersingerautorepair @phoebenatural @steveyockey @bedlund @seraphcastiel @marcusantonius @marynatural @redwing @t4tdeanwinchester @spn-brainrot @lobotomycas @samdyke @deanwinchesterforbatman2k21 @themanwhowouldbefruit @4x01 @thatisahotsoup
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..I wasn’t able to prepare anything today for the fifteenth day of sapphic September, so this is something I hope will suffice - it’s a couple of excerpts from the piece of writing I’m working on for my selfship with Aqua. This may end up being a larger proportion of the final piece than expected, since there’s a full A4 page of pure dialogue and exposition in the middle that might be worth cutting out (although.. it’s explaining what Aria is, so I feel like it does have a place), but here you are!
This is okay to reblog if anyone wishes to do so (since all posts I make are okay to reblog unless they specifically say otherwise in their tags), but please don’t feel you have to! I’m also not going to tag anyone since this isn’t a finished piece of its own accord, but hopefully it’s still okay for me to count this as my post for today.
Transcripts of the images are available under the readmore:
“Yes, I’m here..”
“Yes, I’m here..”
Her catlike eyes flickered nervously around the room, and it soon became apparent that what Ienzo had thought was a cape were in fact a pair of black feathered wings, both subconsciously curling around her shoulders. It was only upon recognising that Ienzo was the only one present, and that his initial reaction to seeing her was not as negative as she was expecting, that she was able to relax slightly and explain herself from behind a now-steeled facade.
“My name is Aria.” she said, looking up at the scientist from under her messy blonde hair. “Aqua said you might be able to help me achieve something. Has she already.. told you about, well-”
“We’ve already spoken a little bit using the Gummiphone I was given before.” Aqua stepped in, sensing Aria’s hesitation and taking her hand to support her partner. “It’s alright - you can trust him.”
Trusting only in her love’s reassurance, Aria started to explain her intentions to Ienzo, who seemed content to listen even considering the clear presence of darkness she had. She appeared hesitant to reveal much of her true nature as a Heartless, but she did what she could to inquire whether he knew any way for a heart to be released from its current body and inhabit a different one, allowing the dormant self within the original body to reawaken. Unfortunately, Ienzo remained pensive, even after she had said her part.
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Excerpt 2:
“Aria, are you sure you want to do this..?”
“Of course I am, Aqua. This is why I came here.” she replied. Then she hesitated. “..Why, is there something wrong?”
“Well, no, it’s just-” Aqua took a moment to settle her whirling thoughts. “I don’t know what’s going to happen when I use my Keyblade on you. I don’t want to hurt you, or even destroy you. And, if something happened with the darkness infecting the replica, then..”
Aria couldn’t bring herself to meet Aqua’s gaze, but it was clear she appreciated the consideration, and did her best to reassure her love. “If I could leave of my own accord, I would have done so by now, but.. we’ve become too intertwined for me to do that myself. And Ves is not quite strong enough to drive me out from within - it’s enough of an effort for her to stay existing in the first place. So.. an outside force seems to be the only way to separate us. And there isn’t anyone I’d trust to wield that force, other than you.”
Despite herself, Aqua couldn’t help but smile at the last admission, and she felt her normal confidence returning. “..Alright then. If you’re sure about this, then I’m happy to be able to help.”
#a call from the void#selfship#selfshipping#love: wayfinding waters (aqua)#selfship: survivors of the dark (aqua/aria)#self‑insert: darkness' champion (aria)#creations from the void#since this is my writing even if it’s not finished yet#at the moment the piece is over three thousand words long but that might change dramatically if I take out the lore dump#but I feel like keeping it in might be helpful for those who aren’t as well-acquainted with kingdom hearts or the story of my selfship#sapphicseptember2021#ask to tag#oh also there’s a mention of#self‑insert: ruby in the light (ves)#she’s important to this piece#to be honest this isn’t super linked to the selfship as a whole but there are a couple of moments of us being cute together haha#made it halfway! if this counts!
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Hello Authortnim! I'm a new writer on tumblr and I was wondering if you have any tips for newbies like me?
I’m just a small blog but I’ll try to help you anon to the best of my abilities! I came up with a few things to share as I tried to put myself in my old-selfs shoes when I first started writing.
First and foremost I want to encourage newbie writers and those who think about becoming one to not be afraid to share your content with the world as you never know who will use your wonderful imagination as an escape from the outside world.
Just like writing makes us writers disconnect from work/school and other means of drama in our lives it helps us relax by typing out new ideas and share our work. It’s a two-way street! As a reader, you feel the same way when you discover a work that makes you forget your problems. Those who write often started with reading first.
Check out my tips under the cut!
TIP 1, FORMAT
It’s mostly networks (we’ll talk about them later!) that require you to make sure you place warnings, pairings, word count etc before the beginning of your fics but it helps the readers greatly to identify your work and see if she/he is interested in reading your story based on these things.
I noticed that new writers just copy-paste the story and click post which often results in having few likes and reblogs because the readers get intimidated by the raw text offering no insight into what they should be looking forward to. If I just think about an everyday example to point out why it’s important let me ask you what you look at first when you pick up a book in a bookstore? The summary right? You get a glimpse of the storyline the characters, the genre. You make your pick based on that.
I’ll create a list down below and explain shortly why it is important to tell these things.
Title – It’s optional, I sometimes do this and other times I just place the title of my fic on my banners. It helps the readers identify your work by name so make sure to always put a name next to your fics/series.
Genre – There’s a lot of genres you can choose from, the popular three is (angst, smut and fluff)
Angst: when a fic is angsty it means that there’s a conflict, a misunderstanding etc that will make the reader feel sad for the characters or sympathise with them. The technical definition of the word is the concept of feelings of great anxiety or dread.
Fluff: the opposite of angst, it comforts the readers and makes them coo it’s often cute scenarios or sweet little gestures, love stories etc that can be considered fluffy.
Smut: Mature content (+18) which means the fic contains sexual natured acts.
The most popular other genres are: strangers to lovers (S2L), friends to lovers (F2L), enemies to lovers E2L) and AUs like Supernatural AU, Vampire AU, Arranged Marriage AU, (AU – stands for Alternative Universe) basically anything could be an AU so don’t be afraid to play with concepts and create your own tags and AUs.
Summary – The summary is important to catch the attention of the readers, It could vary from long paragraphs to one-line summaries. Whatever floats your boat! A small #tip if you have difficulty coming up with a summary: make it a sneak peek. Choose a few lines from any part of your fic and let that speak for you!
Warnings – If your writing contains triggering or sexual content make sure you let your readers know! It’s very important. The more detailed description the better. It’s common just to state ’smut’ and leave it at that but I think it’s important to let the audience know what they should expect in that scene, what kind of kink is involved, if it’s protected or unprotected sex, even if it’s vanilla. Use. Your. Tags.
Word Count – This is just as important as the rest. It makes a huge difference to know if it’s 1k or 30k+. If you use word documents for your writing at the bottom you could always check the word count so it’s not taking you too much time to figure it out.
Masterlist – It’s optional as well. If you have a masterlist then link it before your fic and after your formatting so the reader can check out other stories that you’ve written. (Masterlist is a list of your fics that’s normally broken down to members of the band that you’re writing for, you can check out mine for an example if you’re confused.)
Credit – Never forget to credit who helped you! If you requested a banner make sure to name and link where it’s from. If you’re not confident in your banner making skills you can always opt for a moodboard, it’s easy to make but gives a little character to your post. (I use this online editor for my moodboards.)
Author Note – It could be anything you would like to add. I personally like to read the authors thoughts before the fic, it’s often funny that puts a smile on my face. You can talk about anything story related or not but make sure to not write too too much because that would result in the readers skip it if you make it too long. It’s an optional point as well.
TIP 2, READ MORE
It’s another pet peeve that I’m sure a lot of us have here. It’s tiring to scroll through 3k+ words so use your read mores if it’s longer than 500-800 words! I use ’read more’ when my word count is over 1k. Believe me, if someone is interested in your story she/he will click that read more. Next, let’s talk about the placement.
It’s a common place for read more to be at the end of your formatting. If you use a browser to post a fic then all you have to do is click on the last option that appears as soon as you click into the white space to start your text post.
#tip If you want to use read more while you make a post on your mobile all you have to do is: type :readmore: in a new paragraph and then click enter it should appear right after!
TIP 3, NETWORKS
Let’s talk about networks now! They are dedicated to writers and other content creators to get more recognised by sharing their content. There are ones with open tags but most networks are sharing the content of their members. To become a member you need to fill out applications but make sure to check if they’re looking for new members or not at the moment!
There are networks dedicated to different groups (or members) so apply for those that you’re writing for. There are multi networks too that reblog content from different bands as well.
After you’re accepted all you have to do is use their tags and wait for them to reblog your fic, #tip use the first three tags for networks because it’s more likely that they see your post and reblog it sooner!
TIP 4, FOLLOWERS
It takes time to gather your followers, all you need to do is share your content and cherish those who like it.
Don’t worry about how many likes or reblogs are on your posts. Unfortunately, there are more silent readers on Tumblr than those who reblog and leave nice comments but there will be always readers who share how much they like your stories. So don’t get discouraged things will come to you eventually.
TIP 5, ASKS
It’s a form when your readers can engage with you. What I want to say in this paragraph is that there will be nice and not so nice comments but hopefully, all nice people will come to you. Don’t feel obligated to reply to everyone, reply to those that you’re comfortable with and share what you’re comfortable with.
Don’t share personal information like your address or your full name. The internet can be scary so always be cautious!
This is what I could come up with from the top of my head so if you have (or anyone else) more questions feel free to send them to me and I’ll try my best to answer them and help, my ask box is always open! I might make more posts like this if you’re interested.
#helenazbmrskai answers#helpful guide for newbie writers#writers help#bts fanfiction#fanfiction#fic#fanfic
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1/4/8/9/13/14/19! Split them up if it gets too long i just like bullying you
Munday stuff! | Always accepting
XDD It’s okayyyy I like your bullying! But obviously u dun know me yet x3 I don’t run at the sight of long posts. Buckle up everyone! We’re going for a ride!
1. What little things do you do special when writing your muse(s) that you wonder if anyone has noticed?
I really like this question, and yet it makes me genuinely wonder... One thing I do but which might not be apparent for people who only know me from one blog, is that I try (try being the keyword here) to change the tone of the writing to match the character. I can’t do much about my general style when it comes to descriptions, it just always comes back, but even then, I use different words depending on the muse even when outside of speech. I’d say that’s pretty subtle though, and maybe I’m the only one who can even notice that but that’s something I pay attention to haha!
Another small thing I like to do, despite writing in a mostly omniscient way, is keep strictly to the character’s pov, even if it means delivering skewed information sometimes. Again I don’t always do that, but sometimes it’s especially relevant and it makes me smile to myself.
I also like separating clearly the speech’s style from the description style, even if I like modifying descriptions a bit to fit the character, I avoid using accents of the specific way the character might be talking. That’s something you’ve maybe noticed in how I write Serik, he’s got specific turns of phrase that I pay special attention to.
One last thing is dropping hints to my character’s past or backstory that explain a current action. Just one line or two. Taken on its own it doesn’t seem much. It might even seem like it’s just a passing thought from the muse, or a reflection of the ‘narrator’ but then hopefully the full info comes out later in RP, or it’s explained OOCly and suddenly the scene can be read on a different level, however small. I like that, even if it’s not all that much, but at the very least I find it satisfying.
4. Has your muse ever gotten very emotional and ‘taken over’ for a reply in a way you didn’t expect?
Always. All the f-ing time! And honestly? That’s how I like my RP the best. Even when the muse isn’t emotional, I try to act as a channel for the character and to avoid guiding things as much as I can. Some muses are easier and louder than others (Serik is one such muse), but that’s what I try to tend towards, even if the action I’m getting from the muse might not seem IC or like it comes from nowhere. In my experience, there’s usually an explanation to that kind of intuition, even if we don’t see it yet. And stifling this tends to smother the muses for me. I prefer relying on the raw intuitive reactions I can get from the muse.
I know everyone is different but that’s what works for me. For me it’s not like I’m watching the character in the room with me or in a mindscape, but more like they’re behind me and I’m the channel and filter in a way. It’s a matter of getting into the right mindset to more or less disappear from the picture. There’s always a bit of leeway at least for reactions but usually they’re very clear to me when the muse is loud.
So when the muse gets very emotional, you can be sure they steer things their way even more. It’s led to really interesting plot-twists over the years. Some that even completely broke the plotting we’d done with the other mun. And I live for those moments. But it’s also part of why I’m increasingly wary of doing RP out of chronological order. I enjoy it immensely, don’t get me wrong, but I just know the muse will do a bad at some point. Something we didn’t expect and derail the RPs set later in time.
Okay... Okay I give XD The rest under the readmore because it’s long!
8. What are other formats you’ve written creatively in (poetry, prose, script, etc)?
I feel a bit bad but... None, really. I’ve done some poetry for school but that hardly counts. And some dabbling in “““““Fanfics”““““ with massive quotation marks because I was so young and I didn’t even have an outline of anything beyond what I was writing in the moment XD Nor did I really publish anything (and what little I might have is now lost somewhere in the depths of the internet, tho for the better really).
I don’t know if it can be called creative writing because it’s mostly drawing but... One thing I did a lot before diving properly into the RP scene on tumblr (my RP was purely in private with my best friend using pictochat before that), was make fancomics. That was my main creative outlet before RP took over. I would have full storylines scripts outlined -- I still have a bunch of them -- even if I never finished drawing a single of those comics. One of them (one of my biggest endeavours, really) is on my personal blog. It didn’t go too far but sometimes I miss doing those.
9. Do you like writing and building up background or NPC characters to your muse?
Answered [here]! :D
Short answer is yesssss, but only really when it’s for OCs and not as much for canon characters.
13. Do you like making promos?
I like the idea of making promos, but it’s a bit the same for me as graphic design. I like the idea of it, but I don’t think I’m good at that at all. I enjoy drawing art for fellow muns that I appreciate, sometimes even art that kind of dual-promotes both blogs, but actual promos? Nah. I really admire people who can, but I’m not cut out for making them.
14. Are you a big fan of AUs?
-Eyes Serik’s verses (still under-construction) page-
...
-Eyes other muses’ Verses pages-
>___>
-Sweats profusely-
Yes. The answer is yes.
19. Explain something on your blog that has a metaphorical/symbolical meaning or is a reference to something else (URL, a tag, blog title, etc)
Hmmm. I’m going to go with something extremely obscure. This blog’s URL used to be “ThatRunawayGuy” simply because that was a big part of then-Sail’s backstory before I reworked this character from the ground up. When I did though, it didn’t really fit as much at all anymore, so I had to find something else. But the ‘that’ in ThatRudeEngineer is a direct reference to the original URL.
Another very trivial thing I can explain that doesn’t even show is the tag I use for memes. “Dash Games”. It’s a common tag, nothing original. But I have a sort of inside joke with myself every time I write it down. Each time, I want to complete it as “Dash games will make you crash” but it’s too long and I didn’t want the possible confusion with a computer crash so I never used that. But just the idea of Serik playing games on his plane’s dashboard and nearly crashing because of that makes me smile every time.
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4,5,&10?
4: an account on social media whose posts make you smile?
@evanbucke !! his tags on any gifset of Buck or TK or Tarlos always makes me smile lmao.
also @biweatherman @crockettstiddies and @cupidmarwani or at least almost every conversation I have with them makes me smile
also not to simp for celebrities who’ll never know I exist but I don’t think I’ve ever Not smiled at a insta post from Ronen or Rafael :/
5: 5 TV shows that cheer you up?
Criminal Minds - before you call the police or my therapist, the character dynamics are what cheer me up... not the murder and everything else. like I absolutely love Reid & Morgan’s relationship and also I will never not laugh at Garcia & Morgan’s banter.
Chicago Med - because every time I watch an episode I’m reminded that no matter what... I will never write something worse than this show. (also Jimmy Lanik and Crockett Marcel? hot. I love them so much beyond just their physical appearances tho.)
One Day At A Time - I’m not caught up on it but I love this show so much and just... I love Lydia so much :’) she’s so funny and just... yeah. also Alex reminds me a lot of how my younger brother used to act.
911: Lone Star - yeah it has a lot of depressing shit in it but this show is, like, a comfort show of mine now? especially the tarlos scenes tbh!
Lucifer - I haven’t watched it in awhile and I’m not caught up, but it’s a really funny show and even though my grandfather does not think it’s funny because it makes light of Heaven/Hell and the devil... I think it’s fucking hilarious.
10: something you’ve created in the last year that you’re proud of?
hmm... this is an original piece, but I wrote this poem just a little over a year ago (May 4th, 2019) and it’s very dark, but I’m also really proud of it?
I’m gonna stick it under the readmore (hopefully the readmore works) but TW for antisemitism & shootings
i walk in and see the rabbi
sitting at the front door
with his tallit and a siddur
praying
i stand and sing beside
my friends, my family,
our clapping, our drumming,
our stomping, our voices
filling the sanctuary and
bringing tears to my eyes
i sit and watch
as the jewish children
as young as three
run around the sanctuary
with little kippot on their head
and i know…
i know all it takes for this to be
ripped out from under me,
from under us,
is one angry white man
with access to guns
all it takes is one angry white man
with access to guns
for my shul to be wiped out
and the survivors left mourning
this act of terrorism
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Can you do a review of the episode? What you liked, what you didn't like and if you think they'll course correct or continue with how they wrote two third of this season. Le sigh, I still hate the FBI peeps. I mean what is Phoebe going to do, live in a hotel room for months trying to get into the group less efficiently than Noah. Are they just going to recycle storyline after storyline.
Oh, alrighty! I kinda decided to use this as an episode review as all as a review of the season, so hopefully that is alright. Thank you for sending the ask!
A summary of my thoughts if you don’t want to read a whole thing on it:
Overall, I had some stuff I really enjoyed and then some of it I really was not vibing with in any way. Biggest highlight was Stan and Ruby’s final scene with the “I don’t know where we’re going. I just wanna go there together.” and biggest letdown was everything going on with Dean and Beth. I enjoyed the armored truck scene, it was fun and lighthearted and the armor truck guy was so confused and done. I like that they finally have a business place to work with again since I missed Beth running Boland Motors though I wish Dean was not involved in any way. I was actually relieved to not have any of Annie’s storyline which is very sad to me because I had such high hopes for it but it’s really been going no where so it helped the episode for it to not be there. I am glad that Brio ending the season with a much lighter feeling than they’ve had in a while.
I am definitely more hopeful for season 4, but I also feel like there’s plenty reasons to prepare for the worst, especially with the hitman storyline. I do not have good feelings about that storyline whatsoever. Overall, I am always weary of the writers at this point but at least we were left on a lighthearted note as we await season 4 (which I definitely want and I hope we get news on soon.)
Gonna put the rest under readmore because it’s long and I don’t want to take up the tag with it. Sorry for the length of it.
Here is a bulleted version:.
Things I liked:
Ruby and Stan ending the season on a positive note and not strained because I was super stressed the entire episode (and season tbh) that they were going to keep them at high tension so hearing “I dont know where we’re going. I just wanna go there together.” really HIT right then. Ugh, I love them.
That they have an established place of business again (I feel it is short lived probably but I’ll be happy with it as long as I can) and how Beth emptied the place to do it. It was amusing.
Their armored truck scene was funny and I enjoyed that
Seeing the girls at a happier point at the end even though Phoebe killed my vibe
That the storyline finally felt like it was moving along
Rio and Beth ending the season with a scene that was more lighthearted that they had been in ages (even if it doesn’t resolve ish, it was just nice to end on that note)
No hitman in sight (though he was mentioned)
No Cohen in Sight
Things I did not like:
Dean and Beth in every capacity this episode (long tangent below)
We truly ended the season with nothing new about Rio (though one can hope that it’s just because it was all hidden in the last five episode lmao) and nothing in terms of real progression for Rio, we just got lucky it was more lighthearted than the rest of the season.
BETH TELLING RUBY THAT SHE JUST NEEDED MARRIAGE COUNSELING. Beth you are not allowed to offer any advice in the marriage department ever. Your rights were revoked ages ago and especially in this episode
The FBI agents because they barely did anything and some screentime was seriously wasted watching Phoebe scroll through ruby’s phone and repeat the same ‘they’re so close it’s weird’ lines every time
That it seems like the hitman can appear at any time and doesn’t seem keen on letting Beth know when he might do the hit anymore so that is highly concerning in regards to Rio
Beth playing the blame game with Gayle
Still mixed on how the tension between Stan and Ruby was handled prior to the really sweet moment. I understood both sides but it still was rough to watch.
(The discussion bits will be in no particular order, just which I thought of discussing first based on your questions and such but Dean and Beth are at the bottom because they’re the longest)
FBI Storyline
I’m with you, I still don’t like Phoebe and the other agent (I can’t even be bothered to remember his name that is how uninteresting he is and I only know Phoebe's because they’ve mentioned it enough) and you’re right, for as much as they seem to act like they’re getting somewhere, they’re really not and they’re definitely not even close to the same level as Turner and Noah were in their attempt. They try to ride on the “It’s a woman.” nail polish bit to make it seem like Phoebe is really that intuitive and on it but they’re really not that great. She still seems so lackluster in comparison to the other two and it seems so slow. It’s like Turner and Noah were actually making good progress with theirs, and on top of Noah being able to infiltrate the circle easily, he was also really good at investigating. Phoebe and the other guy are so weak in comparison and it makes it feel like such a watered down and lethargic version of what we already had and they don’t even have their department backing them in this endeavor in any capacity.
I want it to end but I’m pretty sure that season 4 will heavily feature those two and that is one of the most frustrating things to think about since they’re really not that appealing and they continue to be at a slow crawl in every capacity.
Hitman Storyline
Pretty much the same as everyone else, I don’t like that we’re dealing with it and I’m not happy it’s what we’re left with for the finale because it’ll probably be a big part of the start for season 4 and I’m praying it won’t be a very long storyline but I feel like whatever the result of it is, it won’t be good so I just wish it didn’t exist. Fitzpatrick is entertaining but not enough that I vibe with this arc.
Overall plot progression
I do feel like they’re absolutely keen on recycling storylines and continuing their writing path. I was so caught in the euphoria of a really nice Ruby and Stan scene at the end, Beth and Rio being a little civil and lighthearted, and no Cohen that I became hopeful for the rest of the night but then I saw bits of the interview and S I G H.
They’re firm on their chosen path for things and that’s why this entire season felt like a waste because the girls went right to such a rock bottom that they were basically at the level of s1 pilot at the beginning and by the time they found their footing (making counterfeit money that could actually be used) it became the same situation as when they robbed the Fine and Frugal which made them in debt to Rio for a while (though they eventually had a chance to choose to do jobs for him) except this time they had to spend the entire season paying Rio back for a debt (Beth shooting him) so that they wouldn’t die and they’re still very much in debt. The only addition was that they decided to finally have the girls get an actual hitman and that plotline is one that absolutely no one is interested in.
Season 2 felt like they were actually making progress in the business even if they were having to go back and forth with Rio, and foolish me thought that Beth being able to wiggle her way into the pill game meant that the girls were really going to start getting some progress in their situation but they absolutely squashed it starting with 2.09 and obliterating everything they worked for by 2.13. I don’t get why they chose this route because I really thought we’d see the girls moving up but now they just started getting a business running yet again and the timing is impeccable as always because it’s exactly when the FBI is taking note of them again.
I feel and fear that season 4 will feel very reminiscent of Turner and Noah except on a very lackluster level because the writers are pretty optimistic if they think that many people are fans of those new FBI agents. At least from what I’ve seen, most of us are very disinterested in the agents. I’d like to think that we will at least have the benefit of getting to see more of Rio’s backstory than before but I think they really don’t want to let us get anything else that will make him interesting to us, which is unfortunate. I’d like to think Rio will get treated better next season, and we will seem more of him, but I’m doubtful.
Rio
We didn’t really get anything new from Rio this episode (and the entire season tBH) except that he is still keeping Beth under his thumb and has no intention of letting up. We got another mention of 2x13 briefly but overall, as little as Rio as possible as usual. I do feel like the writers too often use him as a pull and then because they know we are interested in his character and what he is all about and then make us think they’re going to do something with it, but don’t really follow through with it. I really wish we would finally get to learn some more things about him, and if he does have bosses he is answering to, I want to see them show up soon here and I want to know about them.
Brio
I am glad they ended it on a lighthearted note given everything, but it doesn’t negate that Beth is still waiting for the hitman to kill Rio for her and it doesn’t fix the fact that they haven’t really worked through anything yet. I mean, maybe they really did save all of those sort of moments for the last five episodes of this season idk but given what we have, season 3 didn’t do much for them. Although, joking about the gunshots had me worried given the context of everything that has happened in the season and especially in regards to the hitman. I want to be hopeful for the season 4 like I was last night after watching the episode and hope that the interview is being truthful about there being progress for Beth and Rio’s relationship, but season 3 has made me weary given how it dragged on without any true development for Beth and Rio. I would be more than happy to be proven wrong, so by all means I hope the writers prove me wrong.
Annie
Sadly, it was actually nice to not have to deal with Annie’s storyline this episode because so much of it revolved around Cohen rather than her growth which was a huge disappointment this season. I thought she was going to get actual help this season, not another loser to drag her down and hurt her. I’d really like to think we will see her continue to pursue her GED and to try and continue to better herself and I really wish that we would get more of an Annie and Ben storyline and less of Anne and *insert random guy* one. It would be way better for her development and it is NEEDED.
Ruby and Stan
Their storyline was the only one that felt like it had consistent and solid progression through the season and I’m so thankful that it ended up on a positive note between them because I was so worried the entire time that they were going to actually have the audacity to break Ruby and Stan up and leave Death afloat. I think their storyline made sense too, even if it did hurt. Stan was having a hard time with all of it and it was eating at him, clearly, so I feel like it made sense for him to try and do something to make it feel like it made sense, no matter how drastic the change it may be for him. I still hate that he had to quit the force and that he never was comfortable enough to join again though. I also was really iffy on when Ruby told Sara all of that in the car, I understood her perspective, but It just felt like too much to put on her kid though I do almost feel like it was the only way Sara would really get it.
I do truly think that the confrontations they had these episodes were needed and they finally were able to hash out some stuff they held back on with it so that they could have that moment in the final scene between them. “i don’t know where we’re going. I just wanna go there together.” really HIT and that’s the best part of the season finale for me. It made the painful build up seem worth it. I need to see Ruby and Stan like that again :’))
I do HATE that they’re making the Hills the target of the fbi again, I hate it so, so, so much. The Hills always seem to get the brunt of the heat when it comes to the law aspect and I hate that they’re going to get it again. Like, one visit to the very empty Boland household would be a perfect way to raise suspicious about them than bring in the donor family as an excuse to have Ruby on the radar. Tired of the Hills getting the spotlight and if they’re not getting the spotlight on them, they’re being used to put pressure on Beth.
Dean and Beth
Pretty much all of it sucked. All of it. Nothing good coming from it accept to further showcase what an absolute loser Dean is and if the writers didn’t like him so much I’d be inclined to believe that they were going somewhere with that, but based on the interview, they’re clearly not. We got jabs at Dean and then the scene in the kitchen was so disgusting but the writers think that ish passes for honesty. They act like this relationship is worth maintaining and I DON’T get it.
I really disliked how they portrayed the scene with Gayle and those two because it just seemed ridiculous that Beth was doing her best to saddle it all on Gayle, as if Gayle was the only guilty party and her husband just the poor victim to her seduction (nevermind the fact that it happened the night Dean was having a pity party because Beth didn’t go with him to the event). I mean, she did dig into Amber when this happened prior, but she also put fault on Dean and actually told Amber that they BOTH deserved better than Dean. Yet, now, she is putting it all on the woman, which made the scene feel less than empowering. I’m not a fan of Gayle, but she was calling it like it is with their relationship. Also, they tried to sorta insinuate this was just Beth’s way of placating Dean to follow her whims, but that ish doesn’t sit well with me either. I really don’t think she needs Dean for these things and in the end she pulled it off without him.
Idk where the energy she had when she first dealt with Dean’s transgressions has gone, but Dean has done nothing to earn some sort of immunity to fault and as much as the writers like to tote around this ‘growth’ in him, he hasn’t grown and has frankly done much worse since she found out about his first betrayal as we have all seen. He is the reason she felt she had to rob the store, he has cheated on her multiple times and felt JUSTIFIED in it as he clearly stated, he has emotionally manipulated her as much as he could (The way they glossed over the cancer thing just because he got shot is sickening, he put her through months of stress over that just to get to keep things the same), and he has done pretty much whatever he could to thwart her business dealings if he felt like Rio was too involved in them. He is trash, he has been trash, and he remains trash.
“Whoops, I almost cheated on you again btw” Is not growth and the kitchen scene after proved that he is just as disgusting as always. Plus, he didn’t even tell her the full extent if what Gayle insinuated is to go by so I don’t get where the writers get off saying there’s more honesty in their relationship aside from the fact that now Beth and the audience knows that Dean compares other women’s bodies to his wife’s constantly and in depth. I like to think that Beth’s look at the end of the kitchen scene meant she was beginning to feel like it may be time to stop working on this ‘relationship’ and may be on the way to moving on, but we know it isn’t and it’s just sad. She doesn’t let Rio pull ish on her if she can help it. In fact, she usually gets absolutely livid and goes so hard on him in whatever way she is capable of, but when it comes to Dean, I feel like he could literally get away with murder and I feel the writers would want to find a reason they should remain together. I hope they stop trying to keep this relationship in this state--- literally the best thing they could do for Beth and Dean is so separate them and to finally have them move on.
It’s come to the point that I think their house needs to get destroyed or taken away from them for the two to finally stop trying to go back to this ‘normal’ they seem to be keep seeking. I will do a jig if we ever get them separated. Truly.
So, overall, I did have some aspects I thoroughly enjoyed and I was in really good spirits after the episode though the interview bits I saw brought that down a bit. I am more optimistic for the storyline than before, but who knows how it’ll all go at this point lmao.
#nbc good girls#sorry this is so long and ridiculous but I hope I answered your questions!#Anonymous
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Guess Who’s Back?~
(Back again!)
Hey, guys! I didn’t expect to be making this yet, but it seems like the cat’s out of the bag already lmao. It’s been quite a while, so I just thought I’d kick off my (hopefully!) permanent return with a few quick updates about me, the blog, etc. It’s all pretty boring stuff, so feel free to skip it if you want.
1) How I’ve been!
Honestly, I know it can be kind of unsettling for someone to seemingly drop off the face of the earth for weeks at a time, but the time I’ve spent away has been overwhelmingly positive! I’m doing the best that I’ve been literally in years, and that’s partially due in part to great friends and a Special Someone I might introduce you guys to some day.
I’ve even been keeping busy with a lot of writing, through none of it has been on Tumblr. My fanfic that’s been waiting 7 years for a single update got a few earlier this month due to a rash of sudden inspiration, and my year-long RP campaign that I was running on a Discord server finally came to a satisfying end!
I’ve been hard at work designing and building a server for the next one I plan to write, and maybe one day I’ll even post about it on here, but for now it’s heavily in the planning stages. Still, it’s exciting stuff, and it’s really nice to start flexing my world-building muscles for once, even as fun as fandom stuff has been for these past 14 or so years. That being said...
2) What’s in store for the blog?
I’ll be upfront with you guys -- I’m going to do the best I can to stick around until my 2nd year anniversary on this blog, but I can’t guarantee that for sure, or that I’ll come back to this one if I go on another prolonged hiatus. I’ve got so many irons in the fire these days, and I’m really starting to enjoy myself coming up with original content and characters, that it’s taking up a huge chunk of my muse these days.
That said, this blog holds a very special place in my heart, and I didn’t want to let it just die away without a word. So let’s make this last month (or two or three???) a banger! And if one day I actually make that OC Multimuse I’ve been planning for the past two goddamn decades, I’ll be sure to let you guys know on here.
Let’s get 2SPOOPY!
3) Some reminders
I know it’s been a while since I’ve been regularly active on here, so here’s a quick refresher of stuff I find important to reiterate.
I fly by the seat of my pants, so some threads might be lost or forgotten. Don’t be afraid to ask me about updates after like a week or something, but don’t stress me out about it, I’m just here to have fun okay
Valter is a terrible person and I sometimes delve into some dark and disturbing subject matter, especially with the emphasis on horror elements this month. Everything super triggering will be buried under piles of readmores and tags, but just be warned of that.
I will always ask before delving into Dark Shit in an interaction with your muse, so have no fear of that.
I STILL HAVEN’T PLAYED OR WATCHED 3H, FORGIVE ME. I have no idea who any of the characters are other than vague ideas of what I’ve seen floating around and what you get out of the first hour or so of gameplay. I’m not really interested in following blogs with a large emphasis on those characters or verses at this time and might occasionally softblock if I see a bunch of it, but I PROMISE it’s nothing personal.
THAT SAID, anyone is welcome to interact! Just don’t be surprised if I or Valter have no idea who you’re supposed to be, lol.
I HAVE A DO NOT INTERACT LIST. If I see you interacting with anyone on that list, it is grounds for an automatic soft or even hardblock. I will warn you before going to such drastic measures, but be warned that it is 100% non-negotiable for my safety and those close to me. There can be no fence-sitting on this issue. If you want details, I made a whole callout about them, but TL;DR, they are super abusive and used someone to pretend to be my friend before luring me into a trap, and I’m not putting up with that shit again. Period.
Love you guys, and it’s great to be back!
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Right, so you know how I’ve been giving y’all semi-frequent updates on what’s going on with my writing? Here’s another one. I’m gonna stick it below a readmore again for the sake of not clogging dashes, but there will also be a shortened summary-of-things in the tags if you’d just prefer to read that.
Okay, hi. So I’m not gonna go into the reasons for this too too much, but the short version is that I’m gonna be taking a brief hiatus from Tumblr and Ao3. It will probably be a few days, could even be a week. If it’s going to be longer than that (I really hope that it won’t be. Like, really hope not), I will pop back on here and let y’all know.
The reasons for this have a lot to do with my personal life, so I’m not going to elaborate too much on them, but I’ll give a synopsis here. Due to certain circumstances, I’m not in a place where I’m mentally able to separate my good feelings about this fandom and my writing from my bad feelings about those circumstances. I want to keep this blog as happy and positive as I can, and I’m not really able to do that right at the moment.
Also, I don’t want to write something that is below my usual caliber standards of Hope-Written-Stuff. I know when my head is too full of other things to allow me to write well, and now is one of those times. So, in the interest of maintaining that kind of work, I’m gonna step back for a little bit.
What can you expect from me when I get back? Well, friend, I am so glad you asked! There are a few things, and I’ll list them below. They won’t all happen at once or even right away, but they’ll be here.
1. an Ab Astris update. Y’all have been incredibly patient with me on this one already, and I am going to ask for a little more. I’ve been fighting with it a bit, but hopefully I’ll be able to work something out soon.
2. a short multi-chapter human AU. I think I’m still gonna make it Christmas themed even though it’ll be posted well after Christmas. I’m a very festive person, okay? I love Christmas.
3. more reblogs of lots of nice artwork and stories/headcanons that I love, as always.
4. some attempts at digital sketches about our favorite Ineffable Idiots! I got a new drawing tablet for Christmas, and I’m excited to play around with it and start figuring it out.
5. positive words and encouraging things, posted whenever I need them or think they might help one of you.
6. just... normal Hope things, really.
So, to summarize: hiatus because I’m having a tough time, but I’ll be back really soon with the content that y’all follow me for. I promise. In the meantime, Happy New Year! Please stay safe, and if you choose to partake in the consumption of certain things that might influence your decision-making, please make sure you have a safe ride home!
I love you all. Thanks for bearing with me, and I’ll see you so soon.
#you all are wonderful rays of sunshine and I appreciate you#but for the sake of trying to keep this Very Good Part of my life#away from the not-as-good-parts#I am going on a brief hiatus#from Tumblr and Ao3.#it won't be long I promise#I will be back as soon as I am able#but I need to take care of me a bit right now#yep that's it!#happy new year to all of you#please stay safe! i love y’all#sometimes hope talks about writing
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Here’s a snippet from Susie’s past. I don’t normally tag triggers, but this seems like it should have a warning, so DON’T CLICK THE READMORE if you’re triggered or bothered in any way by the following mentions/topics: teen pregnancy, mentions of abortion, implied incest between step-parent/stepchild, implied dub-con.
Susie remembered the day her cousin Maria announced she was pregnant. Everyone was happy, everything was good. They had barbecued that day. There was music and laughter and smiling faces. Maria was going to bring new life into the world and it was beautiful. Susie had hugged Maria so tight. It was all very exciting. Very happy.
Sitting in the kitchen a year later no one was happy. No smiles, no party. Just her mother's accusatory stare. Her grandmother arguing with her stepfather. Susie wondered when they'd tell the rest of the family and she'd get hugs and music and laughter. Probably not anytime soon. She sighed and looked down at the growing bump. She'd have to borrow clothes from her stepsister soon; Vero was bigger than her, enough to fit when Susie's stomach got bigger. Hopefully.
If her grandmother had her way Susie would need the bigger clothes and eventually give her a great grandchild. If her stepfather had his there would be no baby at all. They had been arguing for nearly an hour. God wouldn't want them to kill an innocent life, her grandmother had said. Susie was not even through her first year of high school, she couldn't raise a child had been her stepfather's rebuttal. He said he was not going to raise some teenage brat's bastard under his roof. That was weird to Susie. She looked at him and had opened her mouth, but ended up not saying anything and looking down at her lap after he shot her a look. It was one of his angry looks that came before a very rough night that usually ended with Susie muffling sobs into her pillow as best she could.
Her mother had broken into the conversation after that. She said they'd find out who did this to her daughter and make him take responsibility. Susie looked to her stepfather again. He knew who had done it. Susie knew. She wasn't allowed to tell. She wouldn't be a bad girl and tell them. He'd punish her if she was a bad girl. She was scared of making him angry with her. When he was happy things were great. When she made him mad he terrified her. Sitting there listening to everyone argue about what happened to her made Susie feel like a bad girl. Susie had tried so hard to act like an adult and not cry. Fifteen year olds didn't cry!
She cried anyways. Her mother had decided to either make Susie tell them or have them test who the father was. Susie didn't know who they were. Her grandmother agreed; anything was better than what her stepfather had suggested and she swore they'd all see in time what a blessing this was. Susie hoped that was right; that some day everyone would be happy and no one would be mad at her. Her stepfather was angry and a little panicked. He insisted they clean up this whole mess quickly and quietly. He didn’t want anyone finding out the whole mess was kind of his fault. The teen wanted to say it was all his fault, but how could she when the problem was in her belly instead of his? She felt too guilty to blame him. Not completely.
No one asked Susie what she wanted. They ignored her save for the occasional look as she cried and hugged herself.
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Tagged by @toooldforthisbutstill - thanks!
when did you last sing to yourself?
Out loud? I think the day before yesterday... or maybe Saturday? Somehow shanties keep popping into my head while cooking all the time. That weird half-singing thing where it starts in your head and ends in mouthing the words? Yesterday evening on the way home from the bus - I’m trying to keep the words to the amino acid song from Mass Effect straight.
if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?
Tough one. If that thing is omniscient and whatever, it’s gotta know a strategy for getting politicians to actually do anything against global warming and quickly, though, right?
what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
Goodness, that’s tough. I’ll look back at this in ten or twenty or thirty years and it’ll be something that I haven’t thought of at all. Making the leap to studying and living alone in another country feels pretty huge, though.
I think I’m also smacking the rest under a readmore, because this is loooong. (Also there’s questions about death and shit so if that stresses you out right now, just a heads-up.)
what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?
Being able to bike home after university again on Monday, building up a decent speed (well, for a city bike) in good weather on a nice empty bike path.
if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?
..well shit, I’d have started this degree for nothing. I think I’d nevertheless keep studying, but I’d throw out the courses that I primarily took for the points/study plan and take all the electives in eclectic stuff that interests me, visit my family a lot more, meet up with my online friends...
do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?
Nah.
describe a person close to your life in detail
That’s tough, because I swear my sister @itscatconny is frigging Tonks. But for the constants: dorky badass punk with freckles. Can probably deadlift you and throw you across the room.
do you feel you had a happy childhood?
It was okay, I think. Had its good moments and its bad ones.
when did you last cry in front of another person?
Earlier this month, when my family went home after helping me with moving. The frigging homesickness...
pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them
Probably @itscatconny or @theherondaels, because we could just hang out and look at the stars and not talk and that’d be great. Leaning slightly towards @theherondaels because we could nerd out about constellations if we so wanted.
would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?
If I got stressed and overwhelmed enough, I’d probably spill a lot involuntarily. Voluntarily, to a semi-stranger, about my writing, is how I started talking to my closest online friend who’s not on here.
when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?
Just literally a conversation had at 3 am? ...can’t honestly remember, it’s rare I can physically stay up that long and still get a coherent sentence out :P Possibly on New Year’s, talking to my sister? Or else possibly with my Pathfinder group years ago when the session ran super long. A nighttime conversation with the kind of emotional content that kind of implies to me, though? ...no idea.
if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?
I’m German, one sentence can be long :P I’d probably blubber incoherently at my sister though, and hopefully also manage to instruct her how to handle my various online accounts.
what is your opinion on brown eyes?
They’re nice, I guess? I don’t really have strong opinions on them, but I definitely don’t have any negative ones.
pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally
That sounds like an English assignment :P I think I’ll actually pick something that’s not from a published book or anything: “I figure you cannot keep the world in ruins forever!”, from a Danganronpa AU a friend of mine wrote. It feels kind of... hopepunk-y? It was a sentiment I really needed at the time I read it, anyway.
what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?
“I Have No Idea What I’m Doing And So Can You”
what would you do with one billion dollars?
Donate to organizations I support, help fund projects that need funding, help people who need help. Make sure my family won’t have to stress about money in the foreseeable future either. Maybe I could find a nice two- or three-room apartment with access to a garden in the area if I’m feeling really decadent and there’s something left before taxes (science is expensive). Ground floor, with a window to the garden, so I could put out flowerpots with catnip and have the local cat hangout right under my window.
are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?
No idea. I can be a wobbly marshmallow... but boy can I hold grudges too.
would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?
Not sure either really applies... pastel more than punk, if at all? Steampunk, though, definitely.
how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain
I’m too wimpy for either, even though I’d kinda like a nerdy tattoo sometimes. But I don’t think they’re generally disqualifying on anyone for any job or such (unless you want to be a vet and have an “I kick puppies” tattoo or such, I guess :P), and if you know what you’re going for and getting it safely, go for it.
do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?
None at all. I’m neither coordinated nor awake enough to apply it in the morning, and if I try I just look vaguely disguised to myself.
talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way
Hm... Les Misérables in general was how I met a lot of my online friends (directly or indirectly), and they definitely changed me for the better.
list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel
Concerts by bands... I guess my coworker’s metal festival-style wedding counts? That was fun. Aside from that, I’ve mostly been to the sit-there-and-listen-to-classical-music style of concerts. There was one with John Williams’s music which just punched me in the emotions over and over (I nearly would’ve cried when they played Leia’s theme)... and a lot of things @itscatconny sang in. If I want to keep that up, maybe I’ll end up going to band concerts after all :P
who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?
Right now? The Danish government, sending me my health card thingy early.
do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?
I have a desk attached to a shelf. Organization mainly consists of moving things from the desk to the shelf right now. There’s a vague system in the shelf, though.
what is your night time routine?
Stay up too late catching up on all the things, realize how late it is too late, get ready for bed, resist the temptation to keep reading but now in pajamas, crash and immediately pass out.
what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?
How much I spent on the last book I bought. (It’s not eye-wateringly much, but it bugs me that I was so impulsive and it wasn’t even on sale.)
if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?
If I really, really had to... I don’t feel bold enough for bold colors, maybe I’d go with dark brown like I had for a few years when they were short. This time, though, something that washes out over time so it wouldn’t look like I was graying every time my dishwater blonde roots grew out. Maybe I’d have a streak in it?
pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?
I don’t have any single friend group that’s large enough for that. If they were fine with crossing the streams like that, @itscatconny and @theherondaels plus my three uni friends, doing a road trip all over Scandinavia because I’m in the area anyway?
name three wishes and why you wish for them
I wish people would be less awful to each other because that’s bullshit, I wish people got their shit together about climate change and health crises because I’d very much like to not live in a hellscape, and I wish I’d get a PhD position with that research group I wanted to get into since I’d also very much like to not have a black hole at the end of my degree again.
what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up
A few years ago a friend of @itscatconny‘s did some creepy doll makeup for me and it was great. I didn’t go to a party or anything with it, just handed out candy to kids at the door and looked spooky. Close second: a genderbent Giles costume that I actually wore to work because I got home late enough I wouldn’t have time to change.
what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?
Never been either. I swore at taxonomic authorities in the first draft of my project report when I was so sleep-deprived it was probably equivalent to being drunk.
if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?
Define “really short”. I’ve had a pixie-ish-crop thing in high school, but my hair would not cooperate with getting that into any kind of non-flat shape without tons of styling products, so long hair’s actually less complicated for me. I don’t think I’d go for something like a buzzcut though, I don’t think it’d look good with my head shape. If there was something short that actually had some kind of shape with my hair structure, that’d be neat, but at the same time I’ve become really attached to my hair length.
what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?
I’ve been to a Starbucks maybe three or four times in my entire life, but... either a chai latte or a hot chocolate. I’d definitely trust @itscatconny because she knows me and my sweet tooth, and knows what Starbucks has better than me.
what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?
In terms of priorities of stuff to do? That’s a terrifying question, you know? Getting the hang of adulting, I think.
In terms of things/people/..., I’d have a fistfight against a grizzly for my family.
Tagging... @itscatconny, @theherondaels, @hohtohopeainen, @tatzelwyrm, @black-cat-aoife, @emotedllama, @mishidraws, @toughbreaks, @nebty... and if I haven’t tagged you but you want to do this, go ahead!
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Too Late to be Saved
Document link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GF_jZevunsCA5QKPWXfaVO_OO61ZaAtxkzPdoJNJHUM/edit?usp=sharing
When Aqua and Aria reach the Dark Margin at the edge of the realm of darkness, they meet Ansem the Wise, who is quickly sought by Ansem, Seeker of Darkness. Aria angrily confronts the fellow Heartless, but finds herself unable to get back to the End of Sea before Riku and King Mickey arrive. (2351 words)
Replaces the KH3 cutscene “An Unexpected Encounter” and changes some story events so that “Too Late” and “Braving the Darkness” no longer occur.
My first new piece of selfship writing on this blog, and oh boy is it a big one! I had a lot of fun writing this, so hopefully it makes for a good read, haha ^-^
Tag list: @softskiesahead | @dragonsmooch | @thatslikesometaldude | @lilacslovers | @insomniaships | @candyforthebrain | @goldenworldsabound | @setzale
A transcript of the document is under the readmore! Reblogs of this post would be greatly appreciated, since I was really happy with how this turned out, but they’re not required by any means~
“What is this place..?”
The blue-haired woman slowly walked forwards, marvelling at the sight before her. The endless dark caverns that she had wandered for so long had opened out to a clouded grey beach, lit by what appeared to be a glowing white moon above the horizon. The hard stone underfoot was giving way to soft sand of the same ash-like colour, as waves of murky water gently grazed the shore. It was an eerily tranquil place by the standards of all she had witnessed before, something her companion was quick to notice.
“There are no Heartless here.” she said. “I almost feel as though I shouldn’t be here, either. Aqua.. I think this might be the edge of the realm.”
“So, we’ve made it to the end?” replied Aqua, now making her way towards the shoreline.
“Yes, it would appear so. Whatever lies beyond this shore.. It seems less like part of the darkness, and more like something between dark and light. Something that doesn’t belong to either force..”
As her partner spoke, Aqua became aware that her voice was growing fainter. When she turned around, she saw that she had made far less progress towards the water, standing awkwardly some distance away with her wings curled around her body. She looked nervous, and unsure what to expect, yet the catlike ears poking straight up through her messy blonde hair showed that she was still as alert as ever, constantly listening for danger even in the silence of the new place they had stumbled across.
“Aria, it’s okay! We can keep going, if you’d prefer that. You look tense, and I don’t want you to be unsettled.” A worried expression flitted across Aqua’s face as she reached out to hold Aria’s hand - the sudden movement made her flinch in surprise, but she quickly and visibly relaxed as Aqua drew closer. When the two were standing together again, Aqua gently closed both of her hands over Aria’s, unfazed by the patches of open darkness that ran along them, and smiled as she looked down at her partner.
“Thank you..” she mumbled quietly. “I’m alright, I just- don’t know what to expect here.”
It was then that, behind the Keyblade Master, Aria spotted a hooded figure sitting some distance away, hidden by a black coat but appearing to gaze out over the barely-moving water. Though she still let Aqua hold her right hand, she slowly shifted to free her left and moved to stand at Aqua’s side in one fluid movement. Then she extended her left arm and a mass of dark energy enveloped the space beside her, dissipating quickly to reveal a jagged dark red Keyblade.
“Identify yourself!”
Her shout echoed across the shore, leading the figure to turn its head and slowly stand up. As it started to walk across the sand, it removed its hood to reveal an older-looking man with piercing orange eyes and wispy light blond hair. He looked tired, and his face bore the wrinkled lines of worry as he observed the two Keyblade wielders.
“Please, stay your weapon. I mean you no harm.”
Aria wasn’t overly convinced, but she could see that the man did not have the strength to be a threat, so she lowered her Keyblade. Aqua was curious to find out more, taking a step forward.
“Who are you? How did you end up in this place?”
The man sighed wistfully, folding his hands behind his back. “My name was.. stolen by another, and I can feel this place taking its toll on my memory. I’m sorry. I know that I have only been here for a fairly short time, and that I was sent here by the destruction of the machine I created to encode Kingdom Hearts in data.”
“Before that..” He turned to look out over the water again, unwilling to meet Aqua’s gaze. “I caused a great deal of misery to many individuals, through both my recent actions and my previous research. It is clear to me now that I was deeply in the wrong about some of my original beliefs.. Now, I can only hope for a chance to atone for my deeds.”
“It’s alright.” Aria’s Keyblade had disappeared from her hand. “I can see now that your heart holds a true desire for.. repentance, or something of that nature. I’m not sure what the right word is, but.. The point is that you won’t be harmed, by either of us.”
“Yes, of course!” Aqua added. “I think you’ll be safe here, at least, since the Heartless don’t seem to come here. And, I can’t claim to know what you’ve done, but.. What’s important is that you recognise your mistakes, and that you want to make up for them.”
The man seemed relieved, and turned back to face the pair with a shadow of a smile on his face. “Thank you, both of you. I admit that I was not expecting to meet anyone else in this infernal prison. If I may ask, what are your names?”
“Oh, there’s no time for that now.”
A dark portal had opened up, and from it stepped an imposing and well-built man in a similar black coat. He had slicked-back long silver hair and similarly piercing eyes to the old man, though his were a cold golden colour. Aria’s eyes narrowed at his approach, as it was clear that he was a powerful user of darkness, though the true nuance was only visible to her.
“What- What’s going on?” Aqua asked, turning to face the man with suspicion. He ignored her for the moment, focusing only on the older man, who in turn was glaring fiercely at the intruder as he approached.
“You..”
“Master.. I must have a word with you.”
“Master?” he echoed. “So now you mock me..” The disapproval dripped from his voice like bitter venom. The interloper opened his mouth to respond, but-
“Leave.”
Aria had broken away from Aqua’s grasp and now stood defiantly before the intruder, Keyblade still in hand.
“Excuse me?” The man raised an eyebrow and sneered down at her, surprised by her actions.
“I know what you are, Ansem.” she snarled back. “I have known your power since before you even existed. A villainous Heartless with a natural human form - the one that took the title of “seeker of darkness” and is shadowed by a twisted dark figure. You think you’re so strong, but you are not the one who holds power here.”
This last statement had clearly struck a nerve, and Ansem’s expression of contempt soured into anger. “You’re certainly an astute one.. But what makes you think you could possibly face me?”
“Have your eyes gone blind as well as gold? If I can tell what you are, you can tell what I am. I have seen more than you will ever achieve, especially now that you’re afflicted with some other presence. That-” - she pointed up at his eyes - “-is Xehanort’s power, isn’t it? If you’re with him, that makes you our enemy.”
At this point, Aqua’s worried expression had returned. “Aria, be careful..”
“Aqua, get that man somewhere out of the way. I’m going to stop this before it becomes a problem.”
“You are a fool to challenge me, girl!”
An eruption of darkness burst forth from the Heartless, and the powerful frame of the Dark Figure rose up from his shadow. Aria quickly leapt up into the air, spreading her wings to soar over Ansem’s head as he lashed out. To deflect the residual impact of his outburst, Aqua summoned a Barrier spell, then started to help the old man escape once he had turned around.
The force of that initial burst - not even a targeted attack, merely an effect driven by the might of his anger - instantly made Aria aware of the strength Ansem possessed, and she knew she would have to be careful. Her advantage was agility, as the darkness she could draw from her surroundings to aid her flight was limitless. She darted out of his reach and flew up and away from the Dark Figure’s grasp, firing shockwaves of unearthly blue energy at both it and Ansem. The monster seemed unfazed, but Ansem himself was slowed down in his pursuit of her, only to then retaliate with a barrage of violet orbs, which Aria was able to flit between. At every twist and turn, she flew further away from him, enraging him even more as he was forced to give chase.
“What is this insolence?!” Ansem yelled. “You should be obeying me!”
“Does it look like that matters?” she replied, deftly evading another blast of dark energy. “I already told you - you’re not the one who holds power here. Even if you did, Ves’ presence is enough to protect me. I don’t care what you think you deserve!”
Another flash of darkness, this time from Aria herself - she had switched her Keyblade from its dark mode to its diamond mode, now shimmering with cold blue light, and enveloped herself in a shadowy aura to strengthen herself. Still soaring on her wings, their black feathers gleaming with energy drawn from the realm, she sent a rain of insightful flames down from above, then her Keyblade became electrified and she hurled it spinning towards him.
“Maybe you meant something, once. But now you’ve let yourself be taken over by someone who’s not even strong enough to control you completely. Take it from someone who knows - all that does is weaken you!”
“Enough of this!”
Suddenly, the Dark Figure wrested itself from Ansem’s shadow and lunged forwards into the air, followed swiftly by Ansem himself, roaring and surrounding himself with a wall of intense darkness. As Aria dropped through the air to avoid his charge, a blast of ice struck him from behind. It was Aqua, channeling magic even without her Keyblade to act as a conduit. The impact threw Ansem off-course, but the Dark Figure swept around and managed to grab hold of Aria.
“Agh!”
“Let go of her!” Aqua cried, trying to fire more magic without hitting Aria. Ansem’s attention remained focused on the Keyblade Master, while the Dark Figure tightened its powerful grip as if to crush Aria entirely. She desperately writhed and struggled, holding onto the figure with her right hand and trying to slash at it with the Keyblade in her left. After a few moments, it became shrouded in a dark mist, as if dissipating, and she was able to slip from its hold when another direct hit from Aqua made Ansem stumble.
Anger still pulsed through him like a poison as he shouted at the both of them. “I will not lose to an obstinate recusant and a lost guardian with no Keyblade to protect herself!”
Clearing the space around him by emitting a shockwave of energy, Ansem started to summon a massive crest of darkness above him, reaching all the way up to the ceiling. The Dark Figure was still clawing at Aria, as if enraged at how she had stolen some of its power to escape it, but she felt confident she would be able to evade the incoming blow. She could tell that he was not at his full strength anymore, and the intricate crest was already starting to lose its shape, contorting into a misshapen orb of raw darkness.
Then she saw where Ansem was aiming.
“Don’t you dare!-”
In the instant before the orb struck her, all Aqua saw was a flurry of feathers, and then came the dark impetus. Something fell from her sash as she was knocked to the ground, and she was only aware of something- someone- Aria being launched through the air above her, sent flying further back into the dark.
Just then, a shower of stars came soaring in from the direction of the otherworldly beach. Their light seemed to pierce through the darkness like a blade through fog, and Aqua couldn’t help but feel a surge of hope as she saw them strike the Heartless.
“Oh no you don’t!”
A familiar and determined cry from none other than King Mickey himself - the little mouse had leapt to the fray and brandished his Star Cluster Keyblade to help Aqua out. From behind him, another Keyblade wielder in plaid clothing was running towards them, carrying a sword of grey metal with ease.
Aqua recognised him immediately, even though he had grown considerably. “Riku! Mickey! Is it really you?”
“Gah..” Ansem staggered back to his feet, clearly injured from Mickey’s attack, and glared at them all in turn. “You have not won this.. You will not prevail!”
Another dark corridor opened up, then it was gone, and he was gone.
“I don’t feel good about letting him get away like that..” said Mickey. “Should we try and go after him?”
“There’s no time!” Riku exclaimed, his green eyes clouded with concern. “We need to get you out of here, Aqua, and bring Ansem the Wise with us, too. I don’t know how long the corridor I made will stay open for.”
“Wait, but-”
Mickey nodded at Riku’s words with a determined expression. “You’re right. I’m not leaving without you again, Aqua!”
All the while, Aria was desperately flying.
The light of all their hearts, and of the corridor, was blinding, especially for one so accustomed to the dark - but she kept racing forwards, using them as a guiding beacon. Sharp spikes of rock loomed down from the ceiling, as if the jaws of a monster were trying to consume her, to keep her trapped in the realm that had already held her for so long. No. She wouldn’t lose her. This would be her only chance to escape.
The lights flickered, once, twice, three times - and then it was all extinguished. Fatigue from her injuries mixed with overwhelming emotions brought Aria to the ground with a sob. She crashed to the floor just metres away from where her love had been so cruelly rescued, clinging onto what Aqua had so sadly left behind.
All she had left was a blue glass Wayfinder.
#third time's the charm..#a call from the void#creations from the void#selfship#selfshipping#love: wayfinding waters (aqua)#selfship: survivors of the dark (aqua/aria)#self‑inserts#self‑insert: darkness' champion (aria)#kingdom hearts selfshipping#this post is okay to reblog!#I hope that's everyone who wanted to be tagged! if i've missed someone off or tagged someone who didn't want to be then please let me know
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Consequences
so my salty ass hates the Fall of Osiris comic with every fiber of my being so i wrote a fix it fic that ignores it entirely lmao
tagging @dngrs-untld-hrshps-unnmbrd and @littleshebear in it because their salt fuels mine, as well as @house-of-kells because their fix it fic inspired this one
the Speaker is mine now and Bungo can’t have him back
note: if the formatting messes up just read it on my blog it’s being fucky for some reason (edit: yep it’s being fucky just click the readmore it fixes it i swear)
“Ikora,” the Speaker says warmly as the younger Warlock enters the Observatory. “Thank you for coming. I am sorry to pull you away from your duties, especially at a time like this.”
Osiris’ apprentice looks nervous, and he does not blame her. Especially with the responsibilities she has had to take up. The Fallen are only a week away, marching on the City en-masse, and their Vanguard Commander is nowhere to be found. Lost in his own...obsession. Stirring up conflict in the City at a time when they need unity the most.
The doors close behind her, and she glances back, her Ghost’s nodes shifting nervously from where he hovers over her shoulder. The Speaker’s own Ghost gives a sigh, noting their obvious discomfort. [“Relax. You’re not in trouble.”]
Ikora’s shoulders sag a bit, the tension easing out of them, and she stands up straighter, her expression morphing into one of professionalism. “What’s this about, Speaker?”
He sighs, his shoulders slumping a bit, looking away from Ikora briefly to glance out over the Traveler, the City. Everything looks peaceful from up here, as if nothing is wrong. But that’s far from the case. The Fallen are marching on their walls en-masse and the people are in a state of panic while the Guardians prepare.
And where is their Vanguard Commander?
Everywhere but where he’s supposed to be, apparently.
His former apprentice has lost his way. And while he sees what he is trying to do, this is neither the time nor the place for it. So they must do what has to be done.
Does he want to? Does he take any pleasure in stripping his former apprentice of everything he’s worked so hard for? No. But they cannot continue like this.
“You and I both know what this is about,” the Speaker says forlornly, turning back to Ikora again. She says nothing, but her expression says more than any words could ever say. “How goes the coordinating of the Warlock Orders?”
“I will have to ask Osiris-”
“Ikora.” He holds up a hand, shaking his head. “You don’t have to lie to me. I know you’re covering for him.”
She sighs, as if she’s been expecting this conversation. In all honesty, she probably has. “Someone had to,” she says firmly. “His...research is very important, Speaker.”
“Yes...his research. Vex simulations and timelines. Did any of his research tell us the Fallen would be marching on our doorstep?”
“I...I don’t know. He never mentioned anything of the sort.”
“Hmph.” He folds his hands behind his back, pacing in front of her. He’s trying to hide his own anxiety about the entire situation - Osiris has been a valuable asset, especially after his actions at Six Fronts. But that was then. What has he done recently but obsess over the Vex? “Research is important. And maybe he’s right. Maybe these...simulations he speaks of could help us predict the future. But the thing about the future is that it is always in motion. But what good is all of that if it turns their attention on us? Right now they largely ignore us, unless we are on Mars or Venus or Mercury. Osiris speaks of the Vex as a threat, but what good is all of that, what good is all this talk of the future, if the very real threat in the present is ignored? If we ignore this threat there will be no future.”
Ikora is silent for a few moments, a conflicted expression on her face. Her Ghost looks between the Speaker and his Ghost, as if trying to read them. The older Warlock sighs, taking a few steps closer to the two of them. “Ikora…”
Ikora closes her eyes briefly, then opens them. “It’s not,” she admits. “He’s obsessed, Speaker. I couldn’t pull him away, even to talk about the defense of the City. He just told me the Vex are the real threat.”
[“He and Sagira barely even acknowledge our presence anymore,”] Ikora’s Ghost says, sounding insulted on the behalf of both him and his Guardian. And though Osiris may not think so, it is an insult. It’s easy to see that Ikora Rey is brilliant, well respected among all Guardians.
The Speaker sighs. So this is what it comes down to. Osiris won’t even listen to his own apprentice. “Something must be done.”
“But what?! Speaker, I know he has lost his way, but-”
He holds up a hand, and she falls silent. He sighs. This entire situation is giving him a headache. He hates putting her in a position like this, where she must choose between the people she loves and her duty to the City.
“I know you care greatly about him. He is your mentor. He was my apprentice, too. But we can both see how far he has fallen. We need our Vanguard Commander now more than ever. And he is simply not there.”
“I know.” The words are like an admission of guilt, Ikora’s carefully crafted expression falling. She has had to be so strong for so long, to carry the burden that shouldn’t be hers.
“You’ve been coordinating the Warlock Orders, and have handled the responsibility with grace. I would ask that you continue to do so, for the time being,” the Speaker says, moving forward to place a hand on her shoulder.
She doesn’t shrug him off, instead looking straight at him, as if she could see his expression through his mask. If she could, she’d see a million different emotions. Anger, sorrow, regret. He closes his eyes briefly and sighs, drawing his free hand down over his mask.
“And what of Osiris?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.
The Speaker sighs again, tearing his gaze away from Ikora’s. “I need your help, Ikora. You are the one person he may still listen to. And if not him, I know Sagira values your input.”
“I don’t think he’ll listen to anyone at this point. Not even me,” Ikora admits quietly. She sighs and pulls away from him, pinching the bridge of her nose, eyes closing briefly. He can’t imagine how frustrated she is, to have her own mentor brush her off. Someone she was supposed to be able to rely on. “What do we do in the meantime?”
The Speaker sighs. This is the part that will be the hardest, for both of them. He folds his hands in front of him, and she stands only a few feet away, a questioning look on her face. But her eyes are full of conflict. He can see worry, anger, and doubt in them. And he doesn’t blame her one bit.
“I have spoken with the other members of the Vanguard and the faction leaders,” he says, and Ikora makes a noise of surprise. A Consensus meeting that Osiris wasn’t invited to. “Off the record. For now, we have agreed to strip Osiris of his role as Vanguard Commander and Warlock Vanguard.”
Ikora gives a deep, long sigh. She knew this was coming. They both did. [“Who will coordinate the defense of the City?”] her Ghost asks, his nodes shifting and voice full of worry.
“Lord Saladin has stepped up as temporary Vanguard Commander for the duration of this crisis. And you have done a fine job coordinating the Warlock Orders in his place. I would ask you continue to do so.”
She straightens, and in that moment he is proud of her. She has stepped up when no one else has, in a time of deep conflict both in the City and outside it. She will make a fine Warlock Vanguard, when this is all over. “It would be my honor.”
“I know you will do the job well,” the Speaker replies warmly, placing both his hands on her shoulders, and she gives the smallest of smiles. But then she is all business.
“Something still needs to be done about Osiris.”
“Go to him. Try to make him see sense, and inform him of what we and the Consensus have discussed here. If he refuses to see reason, further action may be required.”
Ikora nods firmly, but there’s conflict in her eyes again. They both know what “further action” means. And neither of them want to do that. But something unspoken passes between them at that moment. Sacrifices must be made, even at great personal cost.
For the good of the City.
He lets his hands fall off her shoulders, and then she’s all business, nodding to him respectfully. “I will go to him immediately. Hopefully, he will at least see reason.”
They both know their fellow Warlock is too stubborn to do such a thing.
“Take a contingent of Guardians with you, just in case. He always has those...cultists, hanging around him. As much as he dislikes them, he does little to dissuade them. We don’t know how they’ll react. And...thank you, Ikora.”
She nods to him, and he motions for his Ghost to open the doors. She strides with purpose out into Tower North, and he watches her go, both pride and sorrow in his eyes beneath the mask.
Nothing will be the same after this.
The doors close behind Ikora and her Ghost, and they’re alone in the Observatory once more. The mask and cowl are removed and the Speaker draws a hand down over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose and giving a long sigh, his other hand running through his long white hair. A nervous habit.
[“Vadim,”] his Ghost says, speaking his name in the quiet of the Observatory, with just the two of them, her tone hesitant. [“Are we doing the right thing?”]
Vadim gives a sigh, his hazel eyes flickering to his Ghost before they both turn to look out over the City. “I hope so, Maria. I hope so.”
#the speaker#ikora rey#destiny fanfiction#mine: writing#fanfic: destiny#c: vadim yousafzai#c: maria#this was brought to you by SALT#and written in like half an hour#vadim is my version of the speaker and i love him#the speaker is mine 1v1 me bungo#i've been fighting with the formatting for like half an hour i give up
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fic writer review
ty @taardisblue for tagging me in this! (also gonna leave this under a readmore to save everyone)
1. How many works do you have on Ao3?
7! which is honestly a lot more than i was expecting
2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?
19544, which is also way more than i was expecting ngl
3. How many fandoms have you written for?
on ao3 ive only published for two fandoms (doctor who and the magnus archives) but i’ve got some wips for critical role stuff and some old mass effect stuff i’d rather not revisit 😬
4. Top 5 fics by kudos?
seconds. comes in at number one and is probably one of my fave fics ive written. talks about 12 after escaping from the time dial and his regeneration into 13 and dealing with all of that built up trauma. same with never cruel or cowardly, has lots of callbacks to episodes in hopefully just the right place to break your heart!
never cruel or cowardly details thirteen’s life after regeneration and specifically dealing with trauma from her experiences right before she regenerated (i.e. time dial, losing and remembering clara, dying on a spaceship etc.)
should have been a TMA fic that goes from martin and jon starting to rebuild their life in the safehouse to then the apocalypse and then the end of the world (written before the finale even aired so its all speculation)
what would you do, to save humanity this was written as an alternative darker ending to Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos bc i figured that episode didn’t have enough angst.
every star a fic about the doctor and the master’s relationship bc this ship always kind of kills me and i am always kinda thinking about it. about how they are so very, very alike. two sides of the same coin.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?
ahhh unfortunately i generally dont - partially i get rly stressed about responding “the right way” but also i like seeing the little notification of unread messages! nice reminder that ppl comment on my fics! but also sometimes i do just forget and feel rly awkward. just know if you comment on my fic i literally owe my entire life to you
6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
ah man the tma fic ends in their combined death so theres that? the thoschei fic is... well.. i mean, yknow. a thoschei fic. none of them end particularly ‘well’ tho i think.
7. Do you write crossovers?
nah i dont particularly like crossovers tbh
8. Ever received hate on a fic?
thankfully, no
9. Do you write smut?
that is between me, google docs, and a secondary ao3 account no one knows about
10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
thankfully, no
11. Ever had a fic translated?
No
12. Have you ever co-written a fic?
no! i’d like to tho!
13. All time fav ship?
god i dont think i could just have one but i am kinda obsessed with thoschei from doctor who, or twelve/clara is a huge one for me also
14. WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
oh man i wrote a really detailed rewrite of the pyramid at the end of the world episodes, where instead of the doctor coming back he was still indoctrinated or still was like, done w humanity ig, so it was bill who singlehandedly was saving the world kinda like martha did. it was my first time writing a longer fic and sticking with it and i think it had real potential! but someone never has time anymore
15. Writing strengths?
i’d like to think im pretty good at descriptions and like, idk what to call it but like the vaguely meta-ish stuff, references to past eps and kinda like “poetic” language describing stuff?
16. Writing weaknesses?
i cannot write dialogue to save my life. tbh both in real life and in fic
17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?
see above. but also i think i’d be fine with it, at least in short bursts. if there’s ever a character that speaks ukrainian i’d be super down to write some of their dialogue in ukrainian in a fic but alas :(
18. First fandom you wrote for?
definitely doctor who! i wrote a fic when i was like, 13? or smth and had just started watching the show and it was the most self indulgent thing ever but it was all about the doctor coming to pick up random teenagers from around the world and bring them onto the tardis in this big camp-like sleepover. i absolutely loved thinking abt that fic
19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far?
hmm i like pyrite a lot bc its more ~experimental~ than ive written before. but i also have to say seconds. bc it introduced me to @yesokayiknow & then suddenly 2 yrs later had a bunch more dw friends! cool times
ty maddy for tagging me! this was a lot of fun. ik im supposed to tag ppl but alas i know limited tumblr urls off the top of my head so genuinely if you got this far in reading this post like, feel free to do this and tag me in it i’d love to see your response!
(if you’re thinking “oh but surely they can’t be talking about me!” i am. do the post if you want! tis fun)
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an answer thingy from @dirtiedfruit owo (under readmore)
nickname: yep nick is a name some ppl have i dont have one vfdgbfnh
gender: yknow i had it neatly figured out but then discourse happened and now im back at square ‘im confused and know staying this way would make me miserable but idk what way to be’ so basically Not Cis for definites -_-
star sign: pisces sun, capricorn moon, and pisces rising...i think...if im reading the chart thingymabobbit correctly
height: like 5′1″ ish... but also i am Literally Always wearing subtle heals (except derby) so im just gonna pretend its 5′2″ or even 5′3″ :3
hogwarts house: slytherin... pottermore gave me that on every account i made until i started trying to figure out how to get into ravenclaw by cheating on the sorting test....and then i was like hmm maybe pottermore was right the first 20 times
hours of sleep: like UHH 5.5 to 7 (7 if im lucky its usually 5.5 to 6 fdghf)
blankets you sleep with: 2 plus alive miniature blanket (a “cat”)
favorite band: ,,,if/then original cast (can that count dhsjggj)
favorite solo artist: leslie hall...? number one cat in america is some good shit
song stuck in my head: uhm broadway versions of green day songs
last movie i watched: well it involves ww2 and was in german class idk the name tho
last tv show i watched: if anime counts then marchen madchen and if not then star vs the forces of evil and if only live action shows count then i have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA FGFHN miss me with that ‘‘real people’‘ bs
when did i create my blog: ,,,do i look like i know how time works
what do i post reblog: here its a MESS cuz im a MESS also depression posts a lot haha :D
do you have any other blogs: Boy Howdy Do I do i use them?? not really very often
but im still gonna tag one here uwu
@adrienaaagreste is my art blog
@kittymewtual is my main but uhh if youre following here...hopefully you know that? and aren’t under the impression i’m just ignoring you?
do you get asks: sometimes... (i have very kind and sweet mutuals)
# of blogs i’m following: 373 oh jeez thats a lot oops
favorite color: does rainbow count? idk it depends on what for like for MUAHAHA moods its neon green and otherwise its dark cool colors (like dark purple, dark blue) also turquoise and light blue and yknow what im just a very stereotypical blue gay
lucky number: 2 or 7 or a square one (that isnt 4) or a prime one
instruments: I play the harp! :3
what are you wearing: clothes! (pants and a shirt and a hoodie)
dream job: okay yknow like disney and dreamworks and those guys right? right. yes you do. okay so they have teams of people to make character designs for the movies and THAT is what i’d want to do. be a character designer for an animation studio
dream trip: idk man somewhere with exploring? greece is excellent always but im a heaterophobe (heat is sweaty and ick)
favorite food: graham crackers maybe?
followers: on this one i have 44 and i would estimate that a good third of those are peoples old blogs from before remaking...
reason behind your url: please watch spa//ce patrol l//uluco i am BEGGING you,, also have i mentioned its canon :’‘‘3
why you have a tumblr: okay i know we all like to rag on staff but like...its got a better system for DOING things like finding posts, saying things about posts unobtrusively, making blog things that look cool, talking to people when youre shy, etc etc ETC than any other site... but also it can be exhausting
but also i can say 438574 sentences about someones art and how much i like it without bugging them in their notifications and also its chronological mostly and just. y e a h .
tag 10 mutuals you want to know better:
@healstaves @gwther @lesbianladyblackhawk @averyho @queen-sayaka @tiredandangry @brightclam @koitchi @paithon @ppoplio
please don’t feel obligated if you don’t want to/don’t have time/don’t have energy/any reason that might make you feel obligated!! this @ is more of...a possibility? these are for fun and if it would not be fun then theres no need for you to :3
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