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screwzara · 2 months

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Just had one of the most cohesively confusing dreams ever

I took a nap and woke up just 30 minutes ago and omg this dream made sense but also didn't????

It began with me and two of my friends(who I rarely interact with irl) going through a shopping mall like area? We were in our school clothes too

We first went into a makeup store that was selling weird makeup products, the friends I was with literally just left the store without paying the items XD

But that's besides the point

They actually left before me, I followed behind silently afterwards and they entered a photo album store area??? They said something about clicking the perfect school album photos

I left them to it without entering the store and walked past it, in the next minute I started feeling dizzy in the dream AND in my sleep 👁️👁️

My dad walked next to me out of nowhere, took my hand and led me to a different area which looked a little run down and worn out judging by the walls and my dad sat me down on the small stairs before a door?

I was still very dizzy so he picked me up in the most odd way possible and put inside the room beyond the door I was seated in front of

My dad goes to the corner of the room, places me on what feels like a small stack of hay very gently and asked me something I don't quite remember

My eyes close in the dream and I fall asleep

I then wake up in that room again, just in front of me is a pot that actually has legible handwriting which I don't remember what it said unfortunately but I remember that I read it

I sat up from the hay and looked past the pot, there were two chicken coops and a dog

The dog was incredibly small, smaller than my own dog irl and had pitch black fur from what I remember

I got up and walked towards it then petted it for a short second, I felt how soft its fur was

I turned to my left and saw the door from earlier that I sat in front of

I went out and into the hallway

I somehow suddenly ended up in this huge ass room with plants and trees, so many trees and roaming animals

I could see a patio like area a short distance away from me, there were white bunny looking animals lined up in front of me and to my left my family was standing next to me

My dad lightly nudged me to go ahead to the people who were standing under the patio which also seemed to have like an outdoor classroom situation to it

I went ahead, carefully trying my best to avoid the white bunny things lined up in front of me because they were so small and fragile looking, I didn't wanna step on them

The bunny(?) animals sort of did run away though fairly quickly when I lost my balance and nearly stepped on one

I reached the patio area and my dad walked right next to me. Just then two small animals came around to us, one I can't remember who went past us

The other one was a black-brown cat that looked very fluffy, it had this weird ring thing around its torso

The ring also had these ball thingies???

My dad poked the ball thingy and found out it was like a slime ball so he squished it around a bit

The cat grew a little annoyed but didn't try to run otherwise

I don't know but I feel like I chuckled at the scene in the dream

I looked to my left again and looked back and suddenly all other people in the room were gone and I was left alone with the animals

I went left, saw a bunch of crates and boxes and looked forward. I saw those vineyard plant walls and it had one of those white bunnies things from earlier sitting on its side

That's when I realised those white 'bunnies' were small white and fluffy moths

The moths I saw flew over to me and hung on the lower side of my poncho which I didn't realise I was wearing in the dream since I started out in my school uniform(I was wearing the poncho while sleeping though)

It then slowly crawled into my shirt from there and I felt it hanging on my shirt

I woke up.

And I could feel the weight of the moth on my stomach for a few seconds before it faded

Edit: forgot to add but I'm pretty sure I was half awake during the whole dream too, is that why I felt everything so clearly???

#Zara's Dream Rant #Scry's Dream #I literally felt so many textures and heard people's voices and READ something which I don't remember????#like bro at this point I feel like the universe is tryna tell me something cuz damn this one was ELABORATE despite being equally #as confusing #this one has surpassed the pretty lady in the middle of a grass field dream by a HUGE margin #jdkskkd

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the-adhd-society · 3 years

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Hello beautiful people !

I wanted to share with you a wall chart that i have been using that has helped a lot.

I am semi recently unemployed and the lack of structure makes it very difficult to get things done.

This is a specific chart that i saw randomly and i cannot remember what it is actually called. Something with a k I think but i am not sure.

If you know please let me know.

I broke down all my tasks into four houses.

1)home/life stuff: dishes, laundry, shopping etc

2)health: doctors apt follow ups etc

3) job stuff: applications,cover letters follow ups.

4) and organization that i volunteer with.

Each task is written on 1/3. A post it note

Everything i need to do fits into one of these houses. Once i have my task and i know where it belongs it goes into the "parking lot"

The parking lot is where everything starts. It says " this is something i need to do but I don't know when yet"

Every night before i go to bed i will look at my parking lot and move two or three things to the next block that says

"Working on it today" ... Which means when i wake up i have three or four clear cut goals that i need to accomplish.

Once they are done i put them in the the done category.

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE.

I am food and stuff motivated. So each time i complete a task i take it out of the done block and move it to my rewards chart.

Each task is work .50. I have 10 spaces which totals $5. As a treat i will spend my reward money at $5 below. ( it is like 20 blocks away so i wouldn't go there normally).

Once my chart gets filled i put the finished tasks in a mason jar and write the amount on a small post it note.

WHY DOES IT WORK:

it is simple and clear. I know my taks for the day, i know my reward. I get dopamine by moving my task from one box to the done block and again when it is moved to the star chart.

it's ALL VISUAL. I'm not relying on any memory. Everything is there.

IT IS ALWAYS CHANGING: you have to move things everyday. You can't ignore it that way. If you notice that you are ignoring it, change the color of the post its or write down smaller tasks so you can complete them quicker.

It's yours

There is no shame involved. I have tried using other systems created by nt ppl and it didn't work. If it didn't fit Exactly to my needs it was just frustrating or difficult to work with. Then i would feel bad for not being successful.

This system teaches you how to listen and work with your brain. I had to push aside what society told me organization and lables "should" look like. I pushed aside what i "should" be able to do on my own or that a rewards chart for motivation is childish.

Everything on the wall is what my brain needed and everything has a purpose and a space.

Some tips:

1) add what your brain needs and keep it simple. I wanted to add bells and whistles and color code and make times of day. If you NEED all of that do it. But you are setting up a system for your brain to be successful. If there is too much to do. Your brain might just shut down.

2) if you didn't finish a task at the end of the day, put it back in the parking lot. There is no shame in not getting things done here. Look at why it wasn't done and go from there.

3) if a task get returns back to the parking lot undone three times, adjust the task. Break it down into two or three. I needed to call a doctor but it was too much of a task. I broke it down to research, contact (email) and then call.

4) if a task can't be broken down, add more value to it. Each of my tasks is worth .50. If i can't get something "simple" done. I'll make it .75 or a dollar. It's my money and it's my system.

I'm overwhelmed how do i start

1) think about how your brain works this is about working with your brain

2) what will your "houses" be ? : school,job,home ? Chores,social,house,family ? Kids,home,work,me ? What are your four big areas.

3) what is the wording you will use ? What makes the most sense ? To do, doing , done ? Want to do, gonna do,finished ? Make it fun.

If you got this far thank you for reading about my hyperfixation i would love to hear or see what you all have done and if you know what this style is called please tell me. I thought i saved the name.

#resources #add #adhd #adhd help #the adhd society #adhdhelp #organization #adhd brain #motovation #motivation wall

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wisehq · 3 years

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Mission Debrief: Short Mission Five

...All hail the queen, baby!

Okay, so it's a short chapter this week. Most of us saw it coming, but hopefully what we got was enough to sate those that didn't. As far as short missions go, this one was kinda of in the middle- smaller than some, longer than others, but lore-wise I think it was the heftiest of them all. There's plenty to talk about this week, so let's just get into it.

We got so much info on the lady of WISE herself, our own favorite Handler. We now know that Sylvia Sherwood is her real name, as was alluded to by the Westalis Foreign Minister during the Inusan Crisis arc. We also know that she works at the Westalis embassy as a cover, and that she's such a badass at her job that everyone- including Twilight- call her the "Fullmetal Lady". We also have confirmation that she is a redhead, which in itself was surprising considering most of us (myself included) assumed that she was blonde.

Honestly I don't have any deep, insightful commentary to add there- if all that isn't enough to make you love her I don't know what will lol

(Twilight won't risk drawing her ire, even if it means having her walk around with a price tag on her coat. Also, just pointing it out there...250 dalc translates to roughly $750 American dollars. I'm starting to see where Loid gets all his spending habits from.)

The same SSS goons from the tennis arc make their return this week. I was suspicious as to whether they were indeed SSS in the beginning given that they certainly don't look the part (Yuri wears a suit, whereas these guys go around walking in regular street clothes) but this chapter confirms it. My guess is they're not very high ranking, given that they're poor at tailing people and seem relegated to simple jobs like picking up/transporting things. Hopefully we'll get more information in the future as to how the SSS is actually structured.

Proud papa Loid, ladies and gentleman.

This panel single-handedly killed me. If there was any ever doubt in your mind that Twilight was going native, this panel right here proves it. The sheer confidence this man has that Anya's athletic abilities are important enough to mention during an important Operation Strix debriefing speaks to just how wrapped up he is with his family. You might be able to loosely say that there is no progress to speak of- which is why he's making a big deal out of this, to have at least something to report to Handler with- but I doubt it. He's so serious, and Handler's reaction alone says aloud what we're all thinking; Twilight and Loid Forger are becoming one in the same (which we already knew was going to happen, but hey confirmation lol).

(Also I'd like to point out that Anya is likely younger than six. Being able to jump rope and vault boxes at her age is actually very impressive, so Loid is well within his right to be proud of her. Maybe just leave the praise for when you're...not in the middle of top secret meetings. Just a thought.)

This mission, as with all the others, doesn't fit into any particular timeline. It gave us some much needed backstory for Handler, and small windows in how WISE operates and Twilight's frame of mind. We may expect some allusions to it later on down the road (as was the case with the date chapter), but other than that it was short and sweet and- despite us wanting a full chapter- will hold us over until the next update.

Just please, Endo...let it be a Yor chapter. We're begging you.

Also, BONUS

Handler's done with your shit

#spy x family #chapter 40.1 #short mission five #sxf #spyxfamily #loid forger #anya forger #spoilers

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searxws · 2 years

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tasm!peter parker x reader ; follow me

!SPOILERS FOR NWH!

Summary: You are the spider-woman and you and peter are in your 3rd year of college out doing patrol, you've only ever been friends but what will happen when a series of magical events bring you closer than you've ever been.

Disclaimer: In this story Gwen does not exist, and people in other universes will not forget MCU Peter.

9:02pm

The clock reads as I check it, Peter and I were supposed to meet on the corner of 5th and 7th at 9:00, where the hell is he?! I decide to track where his last alert came from, a back alley on 31st street. I pull my mask back on and shoot my webs at street lamp after street lamp until I make it there.

When I walk into the darkened alley I find an orange ring of sparks open to what seems to be a dining room, I see 3 figures standing inside. One, a mid sized teenage boy with darker skin, wearing a ring of sorts with his hands in a weird formation, he must've open this portal. Two, a tall teenage girl with brown wavy hair and a jean-jacket holding a box behind her. Three, a tall brunette boy with a red and blue suit on, it almost looked like Peters.

I decide to walk forward into the room, all three people look at me with shock, it takes me a minute to register that the brunette boy IS Peter, I take my mask off and look at him. Stunned, I say "Peter, what is this place where are we?" I look behind me and see the portal has closed. Now, even more frieghtened, I look back at Peter, he's walking towards me with his arms open reaching to give me a hug. I accept and we stand there for a moment before the two other presences in the room speak up.

"Who are you?" the girl asks.

"Uhh MJ I think I left the portal open too long.." the smaller boy next to her adds.

"Well obviously, only Peter was supposed to be here." she grunts to the boy.

"Um, s'harsh isn't it?" I say, slightly offended.

"Ok let's calm down, Y/N, I don't know where we are, you got here just as they were explaining." Peter says.

"Yeah, sorry uh you can both stay if you'll help us." the girl I learned to be MJ retorts.

"Why would I want to stay? I'm only here to get Peter back." I snarl.

"That's the thing, what we're doing will get you home." the boy says.

I hesitate for a moment before saying

"Alright what's your name?"

"Ned Leeds!" he chipperly answers.

"Alright Ned Leeds what can we do to help?" I say while looking towards Peter.

"Well first, we need to get our Peter back."

"Ok so how did you get us here?" Peter questions.

Ned and MJ look at eachother, without saying anything Ned puts his hands in the odd position i'd seen them in when I first got here, he moves them around while saying "I just wish we could see Peter Parker."

Now, a man in a brown leather jacket is seen standing in the portal, at this point, I didn't know why but I had grabbed Peters hand, and he grabbed mine back. The man walks through the portal and simply says

"Hello, uhh, im Peter Parker, I don't exactly know where I am but I think i'm supposed to help you."

MJ says "Ok so somehow there's multiple different Spider-Man's and Peter Parker's that are here and we need their help, there's also a Spider-Lady who's name we have no idea-"

I interject "Y/N."

"There's also Y/N the Spider-Lady." MJ says.

"How are we gonna find our Peter?" Ned asks.

I start thinking, where could you find someone in their lowest time?

"Is there somewhere special you always go? Somewhere he loves?" I say

Ned and MJ look at eachother, and I guess we just all decide to follow them because they start walking.

We made it to the school the had told us about on our walk. During that time I had figured out that they have a friend called Peter Parker who is Spider-Man, and they're fighting villains from all of our universes due to one spell Peter had casted to make the public forget his identity. He needed our help and we were willing, it was our duty.

We walked up the stairs to the roof of the school building, once we reached the top we saw a teenage boy in a Spider-Man suit. He had definitely been crying, I felt terrible for him. I most certainly had a mother instinct and it was hard not to run up to him and hold him in my arms. He was just a kid and had already been through so much.

MJ and Ned walked closer to him while me and both Peters stayed back. Peter and I were still holding hands, though now I was resting my head on his shoulder. Other Peter now had his suit on, all of us had our masks off.

Sooner or later all of us Spider-People we're sharing our story's, of how we lost our parents and eventually our uncles and aunts. We figured out a way we could send everyone back to their own universes. Peter pulled me aside while everyone else went into the lab.

"Ok listen, in case anything goes wrong I need to tell you something." He says

"Ok go ahead." I say with a confused smile.

"Ok so I really really like you um like that and I just needed to get it off my chest and it's fine if you don't like me back it's just you've always been there for me and I need you with me." he says nervously.

Flushed, I respond "Peter, I like you too, I have for a really long time and i'm glad you told me because I definitely never would've had the guts and maybe once we get home we could talk about this, but right now we need to save the world." I say with a smirk.

We make our way into the lab and start helping everyone out with this cure we've decided we're making to help the villains. Ned and leather jacket Peter are making conversation, i'm next to my Peter with a smile on my face thinking about what happened in the hallway, and I can tell he's smiling too. Suddenly Ned says

"Peter?"

All of the Peters look at him and say "Yeah?"

"Oh me? Or him?" They're all confused.

Ned says "Uhm Peter Peter?"

My Peter says "Nope we're all the same guy."

Ned says "Peterrrrr Parker?"

Tiny Peter says "Still the same guy.."

Finally Ned points at his Peter "YOU."

All the Peters collectively say "Ohhhhh."

This entire time MJ and I were looking at eachother trying to hold on our laughs, once they finished talking we both burst out laughing so hard we cried.

We had finished the cure, we went to central city where we knew the villains would be heading soon. MJ and Ned went to somewhere safe elsewhere in the building while me and the Peters decided how we would adress eachother.

Young Peter said "I'll be ... Peter 1!"

Leather jacket Peter said "Peter 2."

My Peter said "Peter 3.. yeah!"

We heard the villains in the distance, Peter one said "Work together-"

Peter 2 said "We don't really work in teams .."

Peter 3 said "Yeah it's not super familiar."

Peter 1 said "Listen uh, not to brag but.. I was in the Avengers."

What the hell is that?

"Awesome!... Uhm what's that?" Peter 2 says.

"Is that a band- oh my god were you in a band?!" Peter 3 says in addition.

"What! You guys don't have the avengers?" Peter 1 says.

"Nope." I say

"Ok well uh, just be safe and trust your tingle." Peter 1 says.

We all silently nod. Peter 1 walks off while me and the other two get into place. We see Peter 2 bending over the railing backwards very awkwardly. Me and Peter 3 look at eachother.

"Hey man uh.. you need help?" Peter 3 says.

"Yeah y'know just a little bit stiff from all the swinging..." Peter 2 replies.

"Oh yeah no problem man." Peter 3 replies.

Peter 3 picked up Peter 2 and awkwardly bounced up and down while leaning backwards. While all of this was going on I was adjusting my suit and I turned around to see what looked like pegging.

"Oh my god ok jesus...." I said, stunned.

Peter 3 put Peter 2 down, and soon enough, we were swinging around curing villains. We had almost cured them all and Peter 1 was about to cure one more when there was a blast. As soon as we knew it MJ was falling from the top floor of the structure we were on. I looked down and instantly had déjà vu from when that happened to me I saw Peter 1 dive for her but he was hit out of the way by Green Goblin, before I could even think I was diving for her.

I sped down fast and grabbed her torso, quickly I shot a web up and swing down slowly with her. I could see Peter 3 at the top with tears in his eyes, when this happened to me I had almost died because I didn't have my suit on. He managed to save me just barely. This must've reminded him too. I turn to MJ and ask her

"Are you alright?" i put her down.

"Yes i'm- i'm alright thank you." she replies. shocked and out of breath.

"No problem, go find Ned, stay with him until we tell you to push that button ok?" i respond.

"Yeah ok."

Peter 3 swings down and instantly hugs me, I can tell he's crying. His sobs are muffled in my hair, I cradle his head with one hand, stroking his back with the other. We stand there for a few minutes before I see Peter 2 walking over to us with a shocked expression on his face, it's only then that I hear Peter 1 yelling from behind us.

"Green Goblin." We all say out loud.

Peter has a big piece of metal in his hand and he's holding it above his head, we all look at eachother, knowing what he's about to do, knowing that it won't help him and will only feed to the guilt. Peter 2 speeds to him and just had Peter 1 is bringing down the meta onto the Goblins head, Peter 2 stops him and holds the metal up, he shakes his head at Peter 1 and pushes the metal out of his hand. I'm holding Peter 3 in my arms still but now we're both facing forward. We watch Green Goblin come up behind Peter 2 and-

He stabs him. Peter 2 has been stabbed. I run up to him and pull him back while Peter 1 restrains Green Goblin. I bring him back to where Peter and I were previously standing. We each support one of his arms so we were holding his whole weight. Peter 1 walks over to us and thanks us.

"I just- I, thank you." he says.

We all look at eachother and turn back to him. Peter 3 says

"No problem man, we get it. It's what we do." With a smile.

Peter 1 walks towards us and gives us all a group hug.

"I gotta go find Ned and MJ now!" he says and skips away.

Peter 3 looks at Peter 1 and says

"Man you are in so much pain right now arent you?"

"Yeah" he says with a pained expression plastered on his face.

I look up to the sky and see a weird thing forming. I also see Peter 1 with some man in a cloak. He has the orange magic coming out of his hand that I saw Ned with earlier. They're yelling at eachother, I have no idea what's happening but I know it's not good.

"Guys.. look up." I say the the men next to me.

"Oh my god." Peter 3 says.

Suddenly something that appears to be runes appear around the man in the cloak. Just as I know it, i'm back in the alleyway I was in earlier today. Peter is next to me. We're home. But at what cost? I can't help but wonder is Peter 2 is okay. Or if thé teenagers got home safely. All I want to do now is hug Peter. And that's exactly what I do. We stand there for what seems like hours hugging peacefully. Eventually I pull back with my arms still around his waist, I look into his eyes, they're sad, but they're longing as he looks into mine. Before I know it we're leaning into a blissful kiss. It wasn't fireworks. It was butterflies. It was daisies blooming. It was the feeling of a soft warm kitten. We stand there with our lips locked as I feel him smile into the kiss. We both pull back with playful childish grins. I pull back into the hug and rest my head on his shoulder as we sway back and fourth for a moment. Eventually we both know weve got to go home. We walk hand in hand to our shared apartment, secretly both eager to see what the further holds for us.

#peter parker #marvel mcu #spiderman #spiderverse #fanfic #fiction #movies #romance #scenarios #the amazing spider man #andrew garfield

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the-blind-assassin-12 · 4 years

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Lonely Stranger

Word Count: 1,340 (+ lyrics- in bold italics) Character: Ryan Brenner A/N: This was a real damn treat for me to write, as well as an agonizing experience. I’ll explain a little more. Title of this drabble and lyrics used belong to Eric Clapton, not Ryan Brenner or I... and if you haven’t heard the song, please listen before, during or after you read this.

(ARTIST APPRECIATION SUBMISSION)

Happy Sunday everyone! I am so pumped to share this next submission for the fanart appreciation event, for many reasons. First of all, the art itself is literally breathtaking. The incredible attention to the smallest of details in this not only show how badass this artist is, but perfectly mirror Ryan’s attention to the little things. The moment that I got this submission from @something-tofightfor to write for the piece that @gollyderek did that was inspired by Neon Lights, I just about exploded with excitement. First of all, Neon Lights is my favorite piece of fanfiction on this or any plane of existence. If you haven’t read it you absolutely have to. Secondly, Laura’s artwork for it was and still is my happy place because it so perfectly depicts the magic of the moment that reader first sees Ryan. In fact, it makes lots of people’s days better, Laura. When she submitted this request, Rachael told me that this artwork makes her happy even on bad days.

So the chance to write about not only a beautiful work of art, but one inspired by a beautiful work of fiction was sort of fricking amazing! I decided (with @something-tofightfor ‘s blessing, of course- Thanks for trusting me, Rachael!) to write this from Ryan’s POV.

Anyway! I could continue to gush about how talented both of these ladies are and how much both of their works mean to me, but let’s get on with it. Laura, from Rachael (and I) to you: THANK YOU FOR GIFTING US ALL WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF ART. YOU ARE TALENTED. YOU ARE APPRECIATED. YOU ARE A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH. Keep fuckin shit up in the best way.

(Can you hear him singing? I can. Good Lord, I can.)

Lonely Stranger

Once his fingers began to work at the strings, the guitar in Ryan’s lap stopped being separate from him. Hunched over the body and curved around the neck, he let the faces in the small crowd that had gathered disappear and gave all of his focus to the song he was playing. While he enjoyed playing for people, even taking requests to ensure that he played things that they actually knew and wanted to hear, what he enjoyed the most about music was the way that it didn’t begin and end with just his voice or his guitar. It required more than that. Soul and memory. Joy and mistakes. Got plenty’a both.

Making music was about feeling all of these things and using them to say something through song, regardless of whether or not it was one he’d written. It was his chance to talk to people he might otherwise not get the opportunity to. Just as they slipped beneath the notes he played and the lyrics he sang, he felt himself become invisible to them. His dusty boots, stained jeans, roughly inked digits and all of the preconceived notions that they carried became muted details that mattered less and less with every pluck and pass of his fingers and thumbs, every line he belted out. Ryan became invisible enough to connect with these strangers, just enough to make them smile and keep him believing that people were better on the whole than the worst of their parts.

They didn’t mind that they’d never see him again, and the older he got and the more he traveled, he realized that he didn't either. Ryan had a few people in his life that he knew would always be a part of it- Georgie and a couple of the friends that they played with together, Virginia, even if every day it got closer to too long since he’d seen her. Cowboy, even though he was gone. Ryan’s closed eyelids wrinkled as he connected that loss to the story he was telling with his song.

I must be invisible No one knows me. I have crawled down dead-end streets On my hands and knees.

The people who knew him weren’t the ones standing in front of him as he sat perched on a milk crate suspended over the Strip. Those people were scattered elsewhere, acting as anchors for him to return to when needed, as he was to them- people who understood him, accepted him beyond what they could see and without trying to change him. Those people were few and far between, both figuratively and in miles, and Ryan had recently decided that that was for the best. He hadn’t left his home looking for someplace to settle into a new one, he’d done it to live on his own terms. It had been years since he’d met someone who had seen him beneath what they guessed about him, those guesses more often than not being wrong, so he’d stopped hoping for it.

'cause I'm a lonely stranger here, Well beyond my day. And I don't know what's goin' on, So I'll be on my way.

It was easier to just make these little connections through music, to focus on the details of the city he was in. The skyline, the way clouds gathered and the colors that they cast over the landscape, cobbled streets and gravel roads, highways and bright lights and everything that made each place he visited different from the one before. That’s why he’d chosen the life he had, regardless of what people thought, and it was easier to enjoy those things than it was to try to find another person who saw them the way that he did, saw his lifestyle as a series of intentional choices and not one of circumstantial consequence.

The desert heat hadn’t left with the sunlight, and though sweat ran in beads between his shoulder blades and left salty trails from his forehead and temples that dried on his skin before reaching his beard, he hardly noticed. He opened his eyes briefly as he played between lyrics, a few more people stepping up to join the audience, their featureless faces reflecting the colors of the neon lights that brought the city to life. Just people on vacation, checking “watch a street performer” off of their Vegas to-do list. Crinkled dollar bills and a small cache of coins littered the lining of the guitar case at his feet, and he was grateful for every cent of it because it allowed him to continue to live the life he wanted, even if it meant becoming a small detail in the scrapbooks of other people’s lives.

He blinked as a drop of sweat rolled into his eye, and shook his head to clear it without missing a beat. Opening both eyes again, Ryan expected to be met with the same cluster of strangers that he’d just seen, but where before when his eyes had been able to skim across the crowd with ease, this time they found a sticking point- a young woman standing off to the side in a simple black dress, a soft pink glow illuminating her from behind. What? Ryan’s brow wrinkled, and he gave another small shake of his head as though trying to clear a mirage from his mind.

But you were still there, your eyes wide and your mouth slightly open, body entirely still. But she’s… listening. Ryan closed his eyes, tight, and sunk himself back into the song. Doesn’t matter.

Some will say that I'm no good; Maybe I agree. Take a look then walk away. That's alright with me.

But you hadn’t heeded the warning in the song. You’d stuck around as most of the crowd dispersed, continuing on to the destinations that his presence on the bridge had delayed them from. Why? He looked down as you tossed a bill into the case, the green paper landing on the small pile of other bills but standing out starkly due to the number in the corner being much higher than any that it sat atop. Oh. That’s…

“That’s too much, you don’t have to-” he said aloud, assuming that you’d meant to slip something smaller into the case. Bringing his eyes up to yours, they locked onto something there that surprised him. Lips suddenly dry, his tongue darted out to wet them. “Please, that’s not-”

But you wouldn’t let it go, insisting that he take the tip and the praise that came along with it. You didn’t run off, having checked a box and eager to check another, but stepped aside as he briefly thanked those that did have somewhere else to be. You stayed through another song- one he’d written- watching and listening with the same look on your face, closer now, the curve of your cheek and the tip of your nose highlighted by the yellow orange glow of a different set of lights. She’s… he thanked the couple in front of him, giving them a genuine smile and telling them to have a nice evening, but he was still stuck on your eyes. She’s stunning but I...it... When you’d overheard him answer someone else’s question of what his name was, you hadn’t waited for him to introduce himself to you before using it yourself, and when you did he could feel the way that his own eyes lightened, smiling from the unexpected way you’d maintained the connection that others so easily dropped the second the last note faded.

Close enough now to see even more than he’d been able to before, Ryan realized what had made you different, even if he couldn’t fathom how he knew it. She’s been lonely, too. Knows it's not all bad, bein’ alone. It wasn’t sadness in your eyes that gave that away, it was clarity. Damn. But instead of looking for a way to cut it off, Ryan held onto the connection that the two of you shared, offering to play a song of your choosing.

To him, your choice had only confirmed what he didn’t know how he knew about you. The odd comfort and jarring change of being seen, even if just for the length of a few songs adding to the list of things he’d add to the guitar, to his voice: Soul and memory. Joy and mistakes.

And this… no matter what category tonight falls into.

And now I am going to go cry about how much I love Ryan Brenner and this perfectly frozen moment in time that @gollyderek captured from @something-tofightfor ‘s beautiful words. SWOON and SIGH. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it even if it made me nervous AF and choosing a song for Ryan to be singing was more difficult than it should have been. Thank you a million times to all of you fabulous artists! If you are an artist in the Ben Barnes fandom, or you want to surprise an artist with a quick drabble based on their art, send me a message and link me to the posted artwork. Let’s show these talented folks how much we appreciate them and the things that they create!

#ben barnes fanart appreciation #ben barnes fanart #ben barnes character fanart #gollyderek #something tofightfor #neon lights #ryan brenner #ryan brenner fanart

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mermaidsirennikita · 5 years

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I think you are right about Zoe's answer. They asked Ezra Miller about Depp as well and he said that the cast didn't know that Depp was cast, that nobody of the cast was consulted. It was a very general answer. Yet some of Depp stans didn't like his answer and began to say how Ezra is nobody while Depp is the greatest and the star. Yikes.

Yeah, I’m super disappointed about Ezra’s “The Truth According to Darren Wilson” (which I only found out about today and it’s kind of really disappointing because I was a fan) but I don’t think that I can look at what the younger and less established cast of Fantastic Beasts says about Depp without thinking that we can’t really know what they were thinking.

I think it’s hard to find someone my age who wasn’t a fan of Johnny’s at one point, because he was just everywhere. Pirates, obviously, is something most people our age were obsessed with at one point--but you also have Sleepy Hollow, Edward Scissorhands, Sweeney Todd, and even (for some people) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. His weirdness really drew a certain generation in--and he seemed to be a nice guy who’d faced his demons and grown up, while still retaining a bit of whimsy and a lot of talent. That was his image of a long time. And of course, a lot of people were attracted to him--and I think that the fact that some of his roles really embraced an androgyny was appealing to lots of people who weren’t necessarily gravitating towards the strongly feminine or strongly masculine, in terms of who they were attracted to and/or how they expressed gender.

But.

The Johnny Depp that I was a fan of just isn’t there anymore. And I don’t just say that because of the abuse--there were rumblings about his career and his personal life slipping well before then. (I mean, people act as if his box office issues are new--Dark Shadows flopped in 2012, The Lone Ranger in 2013 (and hey he played a whitewashed role but it’s fiiiiine) and there’s been a notable uptick in him being in somewhat small roles in larger movies. I never saw the Alice in Wonderland sequel (which bombed) but I hear that his role was scaled back; he had a minor role in Into the Woods. His role in Murder on the Orient Express was small. He could be purposefully choosing to do this, but I also think that he’s so much of a mess that his agents are steering him towards smaller parts that can give goodwill. I mean--another thing to take into account is that he has friends in high places who want to give him work (and they know he desperately needs it as he’s massively in debt) but have people above them who know that they can’t rely on him to carry a franchise.

With Fantastic Beasts, I’m just... baffled. They really could have cast anyone; he adds nothing to the table, and it’s not like you need a big name to sell this franchise (not that he even sells franchises anymore). I really do feel like there is someone--not just JKR--who is on the inside of that whole deal and feels for Johnny. Which they shouldn’t, but rich douchebags (as much as you can call him rich these days, as it sounds like he owes more than he’s making based off of that one Rolling Stone piece from a few months back) flock together and help each other out. I think that there are many rich assholes who look at what happened with Amber and feel sympathy for HIM because it could’ve happened to them~.

I’m like what is there to even stan anymore???? Even professionally, he’s a shadow of his former self.

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