TSCS Season 2 Episode 5

This episode...threw A LOT at me hard and fast, and me specifically. If you are also a fellow Council stan, you probably won't like this episode.

First, not too impressed that Cal is taking after his father and needlessly lying to Sandra to go fight Mad Santa. I love Cal, he brain really is empty, but come on dude. At least try rubbing your two braincells together.

I also keep forgetting that the way the lore is set up, Scott is the first and only human Santa. So, when it's said that Magus was Santa for centuries, I had to do a double take lol. Keeps throwing me for a loop!

Can't believe they got rid of Bernard YET AGAIN. IN A FUCKING FLASHBACK. It's almost funny how they've just given up on giving good excuses as to why Bernard can't be there. They just give him a mention and be like, "Yeah he's not here right now/anymore, ANYWAY."

And I wanna know why Bernard is at the very top of the maim list? What did he do that's worse than leading an actual coop? Good for him though, slay.

SO UGH!! My main beef with this episode is the fucking council! Because its utter BULLSHIT and completely out of character that they wouldn't help! I'm actually with Scott on this one surprisingly, you're telling me they can send Cupid to spy on him in his own home but not help the elves to rebel against a very clearly evil Santa???

They don't even give a good reason for it either! It's just a non-answer of "Legends can't interfere" which they most DEFINITLY CAN! Its bullshit! And I refuse to believe that the council would do this.

Like, you're telling me that this is the same council that seemed so sincerely supportive of Scott and his issues for the last two movies? The same council that came down to the pole to personally help pick up the slack in the third movie??? No, simply put I refuse to acknowledge that bullshit their trying to feed us, the council is nice and cares about the other members okay!

Also, I don't know how to feel about Befana being an ex-council member. I kinda liked her better as a cool forest dwelling Christmas witch that does her own thing and doesn't listen to a higher authority.

And maybe this could've worked better if there were any hints AT ALL to this being a thing, but it was never once implied up until this point that there has been any other council member's period. But of course, there wasn't! So, this development falls a little flat for me, not very impactful and a little jarring if anything.

He's a lemon...they turned him into a lemon. I can feel the years being taken off my lifespan...

And stealing the legendries powerful artifacts? NOT NECCESARY IN THE SLIGHTEST. Especially stealing cupid's arrows when normal arrows would've worked just fine! Are these arrows benign?? Are these gnomes gonna start falling in love when they wake up? Does the council currently know about all the stolen shit and have forgiven the elves and Befana? Do they STILL not know that this happened??

Also, really didn't need to use the arrows and sleep dust if you had Mother Nature's WIND AND LIGHTNING. LIGHTNING!! You couldn't win a battle with the actual (ill gotten) forces of nature???

This might be what I need to start drafting that hate fic. The spite fueled one shot. Because god damn there is so much petty CRIME happening here committed BY THE GOOD GUYS.

I don't even know how they're gonna possibly wrap all of this up, I am so tired.

CATWEAZLE (1970)

Catweazle was a popular British children’s TV series of the early 1970s. He’s an 11th century bumbling wizard who, when pursued by soldiers through a wood, says a spell as he jumps into a pond. When he emerges, he believes he’s made the soldiers and the wood disappear; in fact he has jumped 900 years into the future. He arrives on a farm in rural England in the year 1969 and befriends a farmer's son, a ginger teenager named Edward Bennet, nicknamed Carrot, who spends most of the rest of the series attempting to hide the wizard from his father and the farmhand Sam. Catweazle searches for a way to return to his own time while hiding in a disused water tower. Whenever he is spotted, he uses his magic amulet to hypnotise people into forgetting that they saw him. He also has a toad called Touchwood (who’s featured in the screenshots above).

There was a second series shown in 1971 in which Catweazle has moved to a stately home, where he befriends the son of the unhinged gentry family living there. Frankly, series one is much better and more fondly remembered (especially by me—I loved this show as a boy!). A third series was planned but never came to fruition.

These screenshots are taken from Series 1, Episode 12—The Wisdom of Solomon. A housekeeper called Mrs Skinner has moved into the farm along with her obnoxious son Arthur. He and Carrot do not get along. This is the only episode to feature school uniforms, so it’s good to see one of the characters is wearing grey short trousers. Carrot is supposed to be around 14, so I think Arthur is meant to be younger, say 12/13. It’s a contemporary production, so the uniforms (complete with school caps!) are authentic for the period, and boys didn’t generally continue wearing shorts to school much past 12 (in state schools anyway—although I stand to be corrected). Did you spot that Arthur’s shorts are fully lined?

In reality, Robin Davies who played Carrot was 15 at the time of filming. Feddy Foote, meanwhile, who played Arthur, was actually older than him at 16 years old. Both boys would still have been at school when the episode was shot, so I wonder how young Freddy reacted when he first saw his costume—or what the other boys at his school thought when it was transmitted?

Catweazle was played by Geoffrey Bayldon, who enjoyed a substantial TV, film and stage career. The series featured a host of famous faces, such as Patricia Hayes, Peter Sallis, John Junkin, Peter Butterworth, Hattie Jacques, Neil McCarthy, Moray Watson, Bernard Hepton… It’s a veritable who’s who of popular British actors and comedy talent of the time. You can find most of the episodes on YouTube but I’ve included a link to the one with the two boys in their uniforms below.

Master Davies will be returning to this blog wearing a different school uniform (still with a cap though!) and with a short-trousered younger brother in tow in And Mother Makes Three. As a final note, he died his hair for Catweazle, so that his character could better live up to his nickname.

Heya!

Honestly I agree with many of your points and generally enjoy your blog!

But honestly there are a few that make me go... "yeah I should probably unfollow you"

I am a gun toting, gay, freedom loving man in my heart but some of your views seem to be explicitly against true freedom.

Pro-life is the opposite of freedom and as a libertarian I think you, and I, should strive for the utmost freedom possible, not advocating for a system which encourages coat hanger abortions and represses women in such a meaningless way.

Honestly. I personally find abortion to be not really... Up my alley. I dislike it. I find it gross and I think it is snuffing out the light and beauty of life but at the same time, I believe it is in every American's right to make that decision themselves.

God bless. (Sorry for having to make this an anon ask, I have good friends who wouldn't want to see me on this page lol)

Yeah, I've addressed this nonsense before. But libertarianism isn't about no rules or no government. It's about limited government. You can be libertarian and still support a moral rule of law. Do you think laws against murder are anti-freedom? What about human rights? Do you support the right to life? Or do you think "freedom" means "everyone should be able to do whatever they want at all times for any reason"?

I support human rights. I support protecting innocent life. Abortion violates both of those principals by killing innocent children. Banning abortion doesn't "oppress woman". You're not supporting freedom or women by saying "yeah I don't really like abortion and I do think it's killing a child, but it shouldn't be banned because freedom". Where do you draw the line? When is it not okay to kill a child because of "freedom"?

As for "coat hanger abortions", there is no evidence of them ever happening. Illegal "back alley abortions" use the same methods as abortions you can get now at any Planned Parenthood in the country. They happen in clinics and are performed by the same people who would perform a legal abortion. The number of deaths from "illegal abortions" are also wildly exaggerated. Bernard Nathanson, the co-founder of NARAL who helped abortion get legalized in the first place, admits that

[I]t was always "5,000 to 10,000 deaths a year." I confess that I knew the figures were totally false, and I suppose the others did too if they stopped to think of it. But in the "morality" of our revolution, it was a useful figure, widely accepted, so why go out of our way to correct it with honest statistics? The overriding concern was to get the laws eliminated, and anything within reason that had to be done was permissible.

In reality, if you look at the data, there are the same number of deaths per year from legal abortion as there were from illegal ones, 15-35 per year.

I would recommend actually looking into these things, as well as what actually happens during an abortion and the reasons why women get them (hint: almost all abortions are elective, not for any health related reason), but I fear you conveniently unfollowed me before I could post anything that might get you to reexamine your beliefs. Which is a shame, because you're almost there. You already understand that abortion is "snuffing out the light and beauty of life", but you still need that extra push to realize that banning or restricting immoral acts to protect human rights--in this case the right to life--is not contradictory to believing in and supporting freedom. It is, in fact, necessary.

this week's comics!

gotham knights: gilded city #6

it's finally over!!

entirely unremarkable lmao

vandal savage was involved in this weird fomo virus thing, the virus was actually ancient yadda yadda, yadda

dick calls tim boy genius, which was cute

other than that entirely unremarkable

td: r #7

listen i am on the record as liking rossmo's art because it was dynamic and interesting, even if i did think it had its flaws as far as showing meaningful chemistry, but i also like this new art style and i do think this new art style addresses some of my criticisms re: that

tim fumbling to get out of his costume fast??? ehhhh listen can we please treat him like the more than seasoned vigilante that he is. this continues to be a minor complaint i have with how meghan writes tim. not that i think he should be like uber competent makes no mistake or anything, but i do think that she does tend to write him as a little more bumbling than i prefer to see him at this point in his career. that's just personal opinion though.

listen i have mad respect for bringing bernard back and trying to flesh out his character, but i'm not sure that i would have gone with basically fanon!tim for his backstory. he still feels basically completely unrecognizable to me from the original bernard, which is fine. she's free to make him into her own original character.

(also my one complaint with this art style is bernard is shorter than tim)

okay, so bernard knows. which was obvious. and fine. but. but. this means we're going for the far more boring relationship dynamic of bernard is going to be ever patient and understanding of tim being a total flake on him because of this "don't worry, just leave me alone with my terrible parents, of course you going to the bathroom is more important, do your best!!!". it's just bland to me. sorry.

(okay i'm pretty sure i have seen these exact conversations from fanon jack and janet so this is probably supposed to, like, invoke feelings in me and it's really not, sorry. i am, in fact, a little amused instead because i'm hearing "we're very disappointed in you timothy, things cost money, don't be so selfish" in my head)

so like. i did enjoy bernard's perspective, but i do feel the need to bring this back from some earlier thoughts of mine on this relationship:

"anyways i am thinking of how it's probably never going to be meaningfully explored that bernard being in love with the guy who he feels like "saved him" from the pain cult, from his family (tim&robin--a similarity he specifically brings up) is an interesting, but ultimately unhealthy long-term relationship dynamic that probably shouldn't work out well with someone who is discovering himself. like, that's something that would create a lot of pressure for tim, i think. tim would internalize that a lot, what with his savior complex. like, a little bit of codependency on both sides??? instead it will probably just be played off as cute and romantic to keep in line with dc and what current love interests need to be."

and i felt it super hard in this issue from bernard's pov!!! like the inherent toxicity of "i always feel it when tim's not around. this oozy, sticky feeling. it's stronger right now. i have to get out. life is easier when tim's around. when i'm on my own it's harder and harder to put one foot in front of the other." immediately followed by tim swooping in to check on him and enforcing this.

like. i cannot stress how codependent this makes bernard sound to me. this does not seem like a healthy dynamic. that is not a healthy way to perceive your partner. is this on purpose??? is this going to be addressed??? or is this something that meghan genuinely finds romantic? this is not a good basis for a stable long term relationship. like. idk. i am intrigued.

honestly seeing things through bernard's eyes actually did make me slightly more interested in him. but like. because now i am interested in all of his potential negative traits. that will probably never be explored or seen as potentially negative.

the kiss was cute though.

(zdarsky still has my favorite tim-bernard though)

"Welcome to the Theatre": Diary of a Broadway Baby

The Outsiders

April 18, 2024 | Broadway | Bernard B. Jacobs Theatre | Evening | Musical | Original | 2H 30M

The Outsiders is at its most tolerable when all book and lyrics are excised and the story told through movement. With well over two hours of the most pedestrian book and exposition-heavy lyrics you can possibly imagine ("My name is Ponyboy, I'm the youngest of the three," in the opening song...), this show would have done well with substantial cuts. Book scenes are slow and plodding with long bouts of silence amid bland dialogue that does a disservice to the book's well-paced narrative. Each song is virtually indistinct from every other, with a few minor adjustments to tempo, and they all follow the same horrifically-bad lyric structure. The song "Great Expectations," - the Dickens book replacing "Gone with the Wind" - repeats the title a dozen times over. And there's a reprise later, don't worry.

Choosing to begin and end with the same badly-written song doesn't help matters either. At the end of the show, Ponyboy says, "I love bein' a greaser. And I love greasers... But I ain't just a greaser. I got a lot more inside me than just grease." A line delivered so apropos of nothing, I'd have cackled aloud had I been a ruder person. (The couple behind me had no such qualms, and I respect that.) Ponyboy says this to his brothers, who have just spent an ungodly slow scene telling him he's capable of getting out of their situation and being something more, so like...yeah...who are you arguing with, Ponyboy? They just told you that. Why are you acting like they just said you're nothing but grease and never will be?

This feels like a show that wants to play with the big kids, but for some reason, the creative team insisted on writing it with an elementary school audience in mind, dumbing down each moment to make sure the audience couldn't (somehow?) misunderstand a single second. The production value and complex, innovative staging itself doesn't match the sophomoric writing. This is a straight play forced into being a musical, and as a result, loses the gripping essence of the story in repetitive music not written for the stage. I understand wanting to bring different genres to Broadway, but to be a musical, the music must be suited to a fucking MUSICAL.

There is a single ten, maybe fifteen-minute interval in the second act during the rumble that feels like a balm. The fight scenes are choreographed so masterfully that it's almost painful to watch, but you don't dare to look away. The undercurrent of lighting and the (wordless) score only elevates this impressive feat. And then it's right back to bad book and lyrics for the rest of the show.

Verdict: Enjoyable, But Left No Lasting Impression

A Note on Ratings

I did not actually enjoy it, and it was a horrible slog, but I'm giving extra points for the staging aspects. Absolutely worthy of nominations.

Also. I need someone to explain to me why the three girls (who don't do jack shit, let me tell you) are made up like the Powerpuff girls? Red hair, pink dress; blonde hair, blue dress; dark hair, green dress. Exact hair and dress color schemes. This can't be a coincidence, but why is a nineties cartoon being referenced in a 1967-setting show? What are we doing here? It left me with so many questions that the show's pedestrian dialogue, for once, didn't blatantly answer.

Not pictured: girl in green dress with dark hair.

Frostmas Year Ten: Behind the Scenes

Prologue | Y1 | Y2 | Y3 | Y4 | Y5 | Y6 | Y7 | Y8 | Y9 | Y10 | Y11 | Y12

[To Read Frostmas: From the TOP | Year Ten]

---

Boy howdy! It was two years in the making but, at about 30k ish words, year ten is FINALLY finished and I can FINALLY say, out loud, that Jacqueline got fuckin FROZEN!

Lots I wanna share because Year Ten had the MOST edits out of all the years I’ve written so far. I do NOT want to know what Year Eleven will be like. Y10 was like, the HARDEST year to write so far! Let's get GROOVING

The Intro

I actually rewrote the intro after finishing the entire year. It was a weak start, originally, I realized after writing those three BANGERS of final scenes!

the version you SHOULD have read was only completed on the 13th, after being rewritten once the day before.

I almost didn’t write an intro for Year Ten. I actually think, when I started writing it, on Easter Day two and a half years ago lmao, I went right into the beginning of the year.

If I’m remembering correctly, I actually didn’t write the intro until after the All-Staff scene!

Scene 1: Bernard Machine BROKE

what the elf is elf version of what the fuck. v. important note

“We’re really in it now Jacqueline” is absolutely, 100%, the Frostmas version of this meme from The Good Place:

And oh boy, with Y10 of Frostmas? WE ARE REALLY IN IT NOW, JACQUELINE

OKAY SO one of the reasons I decided to do these BTS things was for all of the memes/references bc I find it FASCINATING that I can read these chapters and recall DISTINCTLY what I was doing/hyper fixating on at the time. Year Ten edition: Quarantine 2020!

First reference: Jacqueline deciding to go to Timmies

I was 100% projecting, a month into quarantine and I had NO IDEA if Tim’s was open and I was craving timbits and my iced capp of choice (which is also Jacqueline’s)

SO I WROTE IT IN

Two months in I saw they were open via drive thrus and I have a car so I got me that ding dang iced capp

HONESTLY, a lot of Canadians don’t actually like Timmies these days. Apparently, they’ve gone down hill. But Imma be real with you folks, ice capps HIT and I have yet to find a place with a similar drink that hides caffeine well enough for me to enjoy!

Stir-Fry: Best way to make a quick dins and get rid of leftovers

Okay, srs note now: thinking about what would drive Bernard to leave, without knowing what the canon relationship between Jack and B-Man is (tho most people HC that they HATE each other and B wouldn’t take Jack’s BS, and I support this) one of the hardest things I’ve done, to date.

like Jacqueline said in the intro, this is Bernard’s home! He takes care of the elves, they’re his fam! Like, everything considering Bernard’s decision is HEARTBREAKING and the only way I could think of that would allow Bernard to fully leave the picture is, well, him basically trading his “exile” for their freedom.

The conversation they have once B-Man has semi-processed grief is once again, me trying to work it all out

apparently a running frostmas theme for things I can’t figure out is to get Berline some food and watch them scheme. Hey, if it works it works ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Scene 2: Jack gets SERVED

fun fact: I added this scene in after writing about half of the chapter! It was reading very bad prior, since I had just summarized what Bernard did.

“you’re not you when you’re hungry” I think about that commercial a lot. Specifically the Betty White version

it’s also a gr8 Jack line, 100%

so thanks to snickers, i guess, for giving me free dialogue (🤫)

I actually really like this scene! I think it’s a v good villainy Jack scene!

Scene 3: All Staff Meeting

I hate all staff meetings. We had one MONTHLY in quarantine and by the time May rolled around, I never wanted to go to one ever again

SO LET’S MAKE THE ELVES GO INTO ONE! at least they got to go in person 😢😢

Idk why I had B-man give a spare set of keys to Quintin? It’s been so long since I wrote that part, and Quintin makes his way to the Valley in the later half of the year ANYWAY. I actually went back and edited the final few scenes to hint that Quintin splits his time

like some kind of divorce settlement

he and elfsburg divorced. he gets the shop every other week 😂😂😂

ALTHOUGH it IS before B-Man knows he’ll be able to relocate everyone, so maybe that was part of the reasoning?? See, this is what happens when you wip something for TWO YEARS. 30k later ur a mess

Also, hate that Quintin is spelt Quintin. Mostly bc spell check hates it. Sorry spell check, BUT THAT’S HOW IT’S SPELT IN TSC1 END CREDITS

Anyway I think Curtis deserves a little credit, as a treat, and I’m SOFT for B-Man being soft with the elves 🥺

especially since he gets really, really, really into the Resort stuff (that’s canon, you saw him in the last movie!)

Quarantine 2020 Reference: “And for now, it’s the new normal”

we’ve all heard it at this point, even B-Man apparently

also, totally forgot that I had established a LOCKDOWN before covid19 did lmao, almost thought it was another quarantine reference

Scene 4: Frost Mansion/Manor

was two scenes, fixed it to be one scene! one of the many, many, many, MANY edits I was doing up until I finally posted the chapter. This year took SOO MUCH EDITING

the Blaise making a room scene was literally just so I could show off that I finally figured out how warlocks worked in CS :D

AND I FINALLY GOT TO MAKE THE SALARIED/HOURLIED JOKE I’VE BEEN DYING TO MAKE FOR YEARS!!

Legates are salaried! That’s a Crystal Springs FACT

anyway I think about how jelly like the magic in tsc series is. do you? i think about it a lot. like, you could chose any kinds of sounds, and you go for slurping? icky

Scene 5: City Square; Scene 6: Meeting with Governor Blaise

This scene. was another one. that got rewritten way too many times. Idk what it is about Y10, but I could NOT get things sounding decent on the first try for like, MOST of the scenes! Except for the last one, lmao. I’ve had that written for a year :)

it was another opportunity for lore drop tbh, i’m shameless

on that note, I’d like to thank Assasin’s Creed: Valhalla for teaching me what a MOOT is, historically speaking! I read it and was like so THAT’S what CS does! Aight, neat!

“Blaise said with a grin, opening his arms” similar to how Jack said. three or four scenes back 🙃🙃 I didn’t even realize the parallel until the third in process read through!

(Scene 7 is the Council Meeting, and not much BTS info exists for it so we skip!)

Scene 8: Ley Lines

MY BIGGEST MOST GINORMOUS THANKS EVER TO @shittyelfwriter​ BECAUSE I WOULD NOT! HAVE COME TO THIS CONCLUSION WITHOUT HER HELP!

She had the brilliant idea of Christmas trees being like beacons? And chatted with me for a good two or three hours one winter evening in 2020 to help me workshop this idea!

there was another idea of the stockings delivering the gifts but it was knocked down lol, if the trees are calling in the gifts then why on earth would they come shooting through the stockings?

besides, stockings are their own spawn points!!! they gotta be filled with STUFFERS like FUZZY SOCKS, AND CANDY, AND CHOCOLATE!!

no idea how I connected everything together afterwards, tho. Maybe that’s why this year took two whole years to write 😲😲

anyway, yeah, no, thank you SO much as usual ana for being your amazing self FILLED with BRILLIANT ideas and letting me pick from your genius!! something something we stan??? is that meme dead yet?

(oh! and if u squint...u can see Winter watching for frozie Jacquie)

Scene 9: The First Check In

Once again, i have Jacqueline noticing that someone looks slightly different to acknowledge changes in the movies! This edition: Curtis’s growth spurt and slightly deeper voice 👀

(the voice bit was shoehorned in very last minute 🤫)

I ALSO started dropping hints about how Curtis gets very into the Resort later on. I mean, I thought he was way too invested when Scott finds him at the Resort! He was not as disgruntled as any of the other elves were. I’m running with the subtext >:)

FUN FACT: this is where I left off when I initially started doing this Frostmas BTS. I had not made it very far. ONWARDS

Scene 10: Everything Moves Fast

My one regret with this chapter is settling on "New Elfsburg" before placing it in a valley. "Elfsburg Valley" is just so...chef's kiss

BOOM! ELLE DROP! I've got plans for Ms Elle come next chapter. You guys probably won't like it, but uh, I will enjoy the reveal immensely >:)

"saying you were part of Health and Safety went a long way with ordinary beings" -> I'd like to thank Doctor Who episode "Partners in Crime" for this one! I watched it a LOT during the two years of writing this chapter took. It was a rough two years and I was taking all the comfort I could get while isolated from my fiance and my family and LITERALLY EVERYONE

Scene 11: Bag Heist

oh my god this scene. this scene is so good for so many reasons

Jacqueline being an ass

Jack being an ass

God tier frozie sibling banter

Jacqueline acting almost EXACTLY like Jack would just to bug him--hammering home the theme of "becoming what you fear most >:)"

Also, it was so much fun to write! It was goddamn hilarious!

"Do your kids really want the flu?" I asked, hands on my hips. "Because a kid sneezed all over the place a few photos ago, and we need to sanitize this asap. Maybe even close it off for the day."

-> More Covid Nuggets lol

"Barry, right? You chased me out of storage the other day! I remember that, that was fun! How's your arm?"

-> Jacqueline is very much causing trouble and I am trying to really really reinforce that lmao. She's on a first name basis with some of the guards!

"Sorry Barry, but I have the high ground now" -> for some reason, my friend sir eng and my fiance got really into quoting that specific phrase re: Star Wars:

just before my household shifted and we went FULL lockdown, my (now) fiance (then boyfriend) came up for a visit and marathoned Star Wars with our friend Sir Eng while I was working

(I think that's how it went! May have been my other housemate, and then Sir Eng said it to Fiance and it went downhill from there. Idk man. April-Oct 2021 was kind of a blur)

it went downhill from there, haha. It was a popular turn of phrase up until Sir Eng moved out!

FUN FACT: Jacqueline has never seen a Star Wars :)

"That wasn't rhetorical, Jacqueline. Why is it you're holding Santa's bag? Don't you have citrus to freeze? Noses to get all runny?"

"Not until 3," I said, to more laughter.

Thank you based Spongebob for the ABOVE reference :)

Scene 12-14: It's DORMANT

So, my running gag for this year of Frostmas is basically this:

And it SHOWS in this scene, especially! More on that in a mo!

"The Workshop itself had been designed to be a bit smaller, to be ready in time for toy making. It felt a lot bigger on the inside thanks to some brilliant engineering on Quintin's end"

->this is 100% a dr who/British joke, a la this scene from Phineas and Ferb's Avengers crossover. It lives rent free in my head for whatEVER reason, especially since I never saw the entire episode!

but also, like, why WOULDN'T they have it be bigger on the inside? They're MAGICAL. SUSPEND THE DISBELIEF! anyway.

""At this point, I don't care how you got it. I'm just glad you got it." Bernard said, gently taking the bag off of my arm."

->and so it begins! B-Man literally does not care, he just wants to get this moving and try his bestest to save cribmas 🥺🥺

"Everything dies eventually. Even us," Bernard pointed out.

"You must be fun at parties," I said, thrown off guard.

they are at their WORST! BMAN IS DEPRESSED AF! JACQUELINE IS FROZEN AF! I AM THRIVING!

And Winter is in her element! She's got very mom energy. I'm hoping to explain why she's quietly lurking in the next chapter, but basically she has the BIG WORRY for both Jacqueline AND Bernard! She knows Jacquie's frozen, as we see in the final scene. she's doing her best to be there but NOT be overbearing

And Bernard is doing her a real big worry, too! Her mom senses are going crazy

(Winter would've been gr8 at being the next Mother Nature. She declined when approached by MN when the Legate Law was put into place. More on that in Into the Shadows!)

"If you keep clenching your jaw like that, you're going to need a night guard" -> You'll never guess who did, in fact, get a night guard around this time (last March)

if you guessed me, you are so correct lmao. again, one of those oh hey! I recall why this went in! What a crazy thing to look back at! anyway it's done wonders for stress headaches, and I'm positive Bernard would benefit from having one lmao

Ah yes. A bit of sillies before we head into the BERNARD DOES DUMB SHIT portion! Little Shop of Horrors was the first production I saw "post" covid. I quite liked it. The puppet for Audrey 2? AMAZING.

Jacqueline's Interlude

I just had to edit the Jacqueline interlude because holy guacamole, were there EVER spelling mistakes GALORE. It's like, did I miss that section ENTIRELY?! DAMN.

Anyway, it's kinda funny, I remember getting to that part and having to take a step back with all of the shit I was about to do--those three BANGERS of end scenes 😍😍--and straight up needing a moment to process it ebcause I couldn;t figure out how it all started

Mostly because Jacqueline was mum on the subject, if you can believe it. Can't blame her in the slightest, lol, but when ur characters get suddenly quiet while you're trying to tell their story? YEAH. IT'S A PROBLEM

SO. TAKE THE STEP BACK, SEE WHERE JACQUIE'S AT, AND THEN FIND A GOOD WAY TO GET ON WITH THE NEXT THREE BANGERS!

This was ALSO a fun spot to shoehorn in some ah, CS government lore >:) Do I know how their system works? YES! Do I know wtf it is? NO! But it seems to work for them so YEAH, ENJOY THE LORE

THE LAST THREE SCENES (14-16)

Looking back at these now have me cackling, I really went BAM! BAM! BAM! with a bat to everyone's knees, huh? Anyway

YEAH. WOW. you know, this whole section was unplanned. Like, the bag failing? Unplanned--kinda just happened as I wrote! Bernard doing the dumb shit? Not planned, but the moment I had the bag low on magic, I went ah. yes. Bernard would 100% do his best to help save it, given everything he's sacrificed and lost so far

And Jacqueline would be MAD about it, given the ENTIRE situation that Frostmas is/has caused and also, the FROZEN THING

My god, tho. I really feel for Bernard, you know? It's just. WOW. after all of that everything, you just really, really, really want, need something to go right. I feel like we've all probably been there before!

But yeah, everyone's really at their lowest low here

And even with their sibling-esque banter, Berline is still not doing so HOT

AND THEN THE KICKER! THE FROZEN-NESS! AH!

I had that final scene written for YEARS. I think since year 8 went up? My GOD. Been biting my tongue for WAY TOO LONG to try and avoid spoilers but boy am I GLAD it's OUT NOW! AH!

This year of Frostmas decked me lmao. WOWIE. Anyway, plz enjoy the Y10 bts! and the MEMES! I'm HOPING this kick starts my ass into figuring out why Y11 isn't quite VIBING rn 🤔🤔🤔

7, 25, 32 from the writer questions meme, if you're still taking them!

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

Being able to enjoy what I've written when I'm done.

I don't understand people who say they never reread their own work, that it makes them cringe—like, yes! that's called a first draft! That's why you keep editing until it's doing what you want it to, until you're happy with it!

The whole reason I'm motivated to write a story in the first place is because it's a story I wanted to experience, and no one else had written it for me. You know that meme that's like “I wrote this for me but you can read it too”? Yeah, it me.

...That said, the joy of being able to share it with others, and seeing the comments full of their unbridled enthusiasm, is a close second. :)

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

Hrm. Not sure I've got any, actually? o_O

I've seen a lot of writers get overly-attached to their hyperspecific headcanons (“And modern!AU Geralt's favorite snack food is CHEETOHS!!”), but ultimately I'm like... why? If it's so specific and tangential that it has no bearing on the story or their overall characterization... what is its purpose?

I mean, it doesn't do any harm to give a character a weird quirk or preference (Robert likes pineapple pizza!), but a common mistake for novice writers is to mistake that for characterization. It's not. It doesn't give you any deeper understanding of who this character is as a person to know that they like cheeseburgers and hate hotdogs, or that they listen to Taylor Swift, or that their type is redheads. Trying to understand your character by compiling a list of their likes/dislikes is pursuing the wrong question.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

“Life does not cease to be funny when people die, any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.” (George Bernard Shaw)

I've mentioned this one before, but if I could sum up my entire writing ethos in one line, that would be it.

Life is both.

Those plodding, dreary, relentlessly cynical and nihilistic grimdark books are just as unrealistic as the unrepentantly fluffy fanfics in which everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. Not that realism even should be the goal of fiction, but it's dishonest to pretend like the former is an objectively more truthful depiction of the human condition.

And that's something I consider myself pretty good at in my writing -- striking the balance between heavy moments and lighter ones. It's that bit of salt in your caramel, that bit of sugar in your marinade -- the contrast is what brings out the flavor to its fullest.

Westworld: Generation Loss (4x04)

There's so many different timelines... so much is going on... but this was a great episode!

Cons:

I don't like having to work so hard to figure out what's going on. We get that scene at the end with Bernard, and the mystery woman who rescued him and Stubbs. Turns out, that's Frankie, Caleb's daughter all grown up. I don't need to be that confused about timelines! Why is it always Bernard, who's in the middle of all the timeline fuckery? It's kind of exhausting.

I've got to say, visually I didn't really enjoy Caleb's "oh shit" moment when he goes outside and he finds out that Hale's future dystopia has come to pass. It just looks like a generic sci-fi vision, a big creepy panopticon tower or what have you. Visually, despite how impressive a lot of the effects are, this show can have the tendency to get a little same-y.

I was legitimately shocked by the Maeve and Caleb (temporary-ish) deaths, but I wish they hadn't had Maeve be in love with him. If that's even what they were implying. We see in flashback that she decided to leave so that Caleb could have a normal life, but then got pulled back in because she was curious and wanted to check on him. This just felt a little weak to me, I don't know. I really like the energy between Maeve and Caleb as characters, and I don't want it to be this thing where Maeve is the martyr putting herself through suffering for Caleb's sake. That just doesn't feel great.

Pros:

Overall, though, despite my resistance to actually trying to track the various complexities going on in this story, I did greatly enjoy this episode.

Tessa Thompson does a good job with the sort of Dolores-esque inflection to her speech. Charlotte Hale/Dolores is a fascinating character, and I liked the standoff with her and Caleb, who turns out to be dead, and is now a host. Good twist, if not exactly hard to predict! It's a sci-fi staple to have the reveal of the dystopian future, that moment where you realize that the bad guys won. This was a pretty good version of that trope, especially because we were in the midst of Maeve and Caleb trying to prevent this outcome, and then there's the slow dawning realization that they failed long ago. That worked for me!

Christina, who I mentioned in earlier episodes was probably my least favorite aspect, suddenly got interesting. You put Teddy back in the story and I'm immediately perking up. We still don't quite know how Christina contributed to Hale's evil future where all humans are controlled, but we know that she was writing stories for NPCs who turned out to be real, in some sense. I loved the romantic tension in the date scene with Teddy, and I'm eager to see where this story might lead us next!

Despite generally not caring much for the Bernard story-line, I did like that we got confirmation that the woman rescuing him and Stubbs last week was in fact a grown up Frankie, looking for a weapon to help bring down the baddies. Who do they find buried in the desert? Maeve's body! Assuming they can get her back online and on their side, I'm excited to see how they might be able to combat Hale's evil shenanigans. I'm actually pretty excited about how all the pieces are aligning right now!

So that's where I'll leave things. A pretty solid installment of the show, one where even paying half-attention as I am sometimes wont to do, I was still surprised and gripped by the turns the story was taking.

8/10

TAXI DRIVER (1976)

Taxi Driver (1976): Where De Niro Goes Psycho in a Filthy Paradise

Strap in, cinephiles, for a dive into the grimy underbelly of 1970s New York with Martin Scorsese's neo-noir masterpiece, Taxi Driver (1976). Buckle up, this ain't your grandma's road trip.

Plot twist: This ain't your typical noir detective. Meet Travis Bickle (De Niro, channeling his inner psycho like a boss), a Vietnam vet and insomniac extraordinaire who navigates the city's moral abyss as a cabbie. Think neon lights, seedy characters, and enough urban grime to make a sanitation worker cry. As Travis spirals deeper into sleep deprivation and existential angst, the line between vigilante justice and, well, just plain crazy starts to blur faster than a disco dancer doing the hustle.

Genre bender alert! While Taxi Driver checks the neo-noir boxes (think shadows, femme fatales, and morally ambiguous choices), it throws in a healthy dose of psychological thriller, making you question Travis' sanity along with his cab fare sanity. Don't expect a clear-cut good guy vs. bad guy fight. Here, the darkness lurks within, and it ain't afraid to party.

De Niro's performance? Forget five stars, give him the whole Milky Way. The man embodies Travis' descent into madness with chilling brilliance. You see the sleep deprivation etch itself onto his face, hear the paranoia drip from his words, and witness the simmering rage finally boil over. It's a masterclass in acting, leaving you both terrified and oddly sympathetic.

The cinematography? More like grime-atography. Scorsese paints a portrait of New York City as a living, breathing organism, pulsating with neon fever and moral decay. The gritty close-ups, the claustrophobic car interiors, and the dizzying nighttime streetscapes all serve to amplify Travis' psychological turmoil. It's like watching a fever dream come to life, and honestly, it's kind of beautiful in its own twisted way.

Sound and music? Buckle up for an aural assault (in the best way possible). Bernard Herrmann's iconic score is a symphony of saxophones and brooding strings, perfectly capturing the film's unsettling atmosphere. The dialogue crackles with tension, and the sound effects - from screeching brakes to muffled gunshots - plunge you deeper into Travis' chaotic world.

Themes? Think alienation, violence, and the thin line between sanity and madness. Taxi Driver doesn't shy away from exploring the dark side of humanity, questioning the impact of societal decay and the potential for redemption. It's a film that stays with you long after the credits roll, making you ponder your own place in this crazy, mixed-up world.

My verdict? Four out of five stars. This film is a cult classic for a reason. It's not for the faint of heart, but if you're looking for a cinematic experience that punches you in the gut and lingers in your mind, Taxi Driver is your ride.

Bonus trivia: Did you know Robert De Niro actually drove a cab for a month to prepare for the role? Talk about method acting! Also, the film had a budget of $1.9 million and raked in a cool $28.6 million at the box office. Now that's what I call a profitable descent into madness.

So, hop in Travis' cab, but be warned, the destination might be darker than you expect. Enjoy (or don't)?

Head Phone Jon Hammond Band With Bernard Purdie

#WATCHMOVIE HERE: Head Phone Jon Hammond Band With Bernard Purdie 

Jon's archive https://archive.org/details/head-phone-jon-hammond-band-with-bernard-purdie 

Youtube https://youtu.be/yILWKxr-g2E 

FB https://fb.watch/m74jp3UQmh/ 

Head Phone Jon Hammond Band With Bernard Purdie

by

 Jon Hammond 

 Publication date

 2023-07-30

Usage

 Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 4.0 International

Topics

 Head Phone, Bernard Purdie, Jon Hammond, Hammond Party, Hammond B3, Joe Berger, Tino Pavlis, NAMM Show, Keith Emerson

Language

 English 

I think it's time to break this out, and wishing a young man happy birthday - he was there when we did it, Konstantin Tino Pavlis @konstantinmedia5993 my old roommate when I was living in Frankfurt - Tino said he didn't want to celebrate his birthday but I am - funky Bernard "Pretty" Purdie made the hit just in time, we had to go on early - Koei Tanaka / 田中光栄 - fan site tore it up and you can actually hear the crowd roar after Joe Berger sliced-and-diced my tune "Head Phone" in the Hilton Anaheim lobby big Friday night NAMM Showparty put on the Hammond Organ USA - I'm laying down the bass lines on the B3, original rhythm section I cut this tune with Bernard in 1989 on my first album co-produced by Joe Berger at Quad Recording in Times Square - Bernard had such a good time he got up and did a little dance at the end of his feature - enjoy this clip folks, big HBD Tino! 

Sincerely,

@HammondCast / Jon Hammond - Jon Hammond Band

#hammondorgan

#hammondparty

#nammshow

#keithemerson

#bernardpurdie

#JonHammond

#hammondb3

Addeddate

 2023-07-31 05:38:34

Identifier

 head-phone-jon-hammond-band-with-bernard-purdie 

 Topics

Head Phone, Bernard Purdie, Jon Hammond, Hammond Party, Hammond B3, Joe Berger, Tino Pavlis, NAMM Show, Keith Emerson

Language

 English 

Topics Head Phone, Bernard Purdie, Jon Hammond, Hammond Party, Hammond B3, Joe Berger, Tino Pavlis, NAMM Show, Keith Emerson Language English

Spoilers

So, I just finished watching the first two-episode premiere of The Santa Clauses. And below the cut to avoid spoilers for peeps who haven't seen them yet, I'll be giving my general overall thoughts about it so far.

Happy watching friends!

So, in a general personal consensus, it's pretty mid lol

However, many good things there are about it, there is also an equal number of bad things as well. The talk about problematic ideology took me out of it for the most part. And we all KNOW that the CEO is gonna be the next Santa and I'm fairly certain no one is happy nor surprised.

But for all of the poor jokes and such I actually enjoyed it more than I thought! Buddy/Cal has unexpectedly taken a very high place on the list of some of my favorite characters. I am PRAYING he meets that crossing guard, I love him. And all his Himbo energy. 

And I actually find it really funny that the franchise just, keeps adding Clauses for Scott to find later lol. They just keep making new ones and I love that.

SO HAPPY that Carol is back. Can't wait to see her kick ASS later in the series. And I feel like the future story line of finding Mrs. Claus’s identity CAN be done really well if they handle it in just the right way. But she’s gonna shine no matter what.

AND I AM IN LOVE WITH NOEL AND BETTY. MALEWIFE/GIRLBOSS POWER COUPLE!! I am actually really looking forward to watching them more throughout the series. And really looking forward to how they’ll interact with Bernard later, I think that’ll be fun.

We got ONE (1) single Jack mention, and I’m very surprised that it happened this early on. Granted it was just about what he did in the third movie, and it barely counts as a mention, BUT ILL TAKE IT. That is MY frozen lunatic thank you kindly. (Still holding out for a Marty cameo)

Honestly a little disappointed that Charlie won't be taking over, and I DO NOT like his wife. His role in this is probably gonna be very short, but him being a dad is really cute.

I'm going into the rest of the series with an open mind, but with expectations still relatively low. It's a series that I feel like I could stop watching right now and I wouldn't feel bad about it or felt like I missed out on anything.

But maybe that'll change! Who knows. Either way, that's my little unwanted opinion, my two cents on the matter. 

for what it's worth, you're not alone with feeling like this for dc comics nor the upcoming movies. I lost 99% of my interest in the dceu too when I saw the line up and I've seen a fair few others express the same. I'm mostly just having fun going through the old comics atp and appreciating what I've always loved about the universe, but I'm not about to settle for mediocrity just to fit in to dc's current fandom. celebrating what we enjoy and leaving the rest seems a good way to move forward

I genuinely thought James Gunn was gonna fix some stuff up, 'cause I loved his Guardians of the Galaxy, and laughed hysterically at all the jokes in The Suicide Squad no matter how immature a lot of it was. So I thought 'Oh, okay so this is great'.

Losing Henry Cavill sucked, but ya know, I don't feel like a strange one thinking "Well, if everyone's being recast I guess that makes sense."

Now it's just "Well, okay, fuck you James Gunn. I love your movies that I've seen so far, but also fuck you. This new shit is insulting"

If the movies end up being a big success, I won't be surprised. I know most people don't really give a shit about characterization. You can literally write the characters as anything and little shit-munchers will do some mental gymnastics to defend it. It really doesn't matter.

But oof I've just had enough. I blocked a lot of stuff on Twitter, so I won't even get updates on anything anymore. I'll check out the casting and costumes probably, but anything beyond the Superman project, which I must admit I do have an interest in, because I feel like that could still be good, I'm checking out of.

Then with the comics it's like, oh boy, Tom Taylor? Woo-weee, can't wait to read severely out of character characters people praise because it did a lot of fan service no matter if it makes sense or not.

Like what is it, and modern comic book writers, and being unable to successfully write a satisfying book that gives something people wanna buy without relying on out of character fandom shit? Are they that incapable.

Dick's just a sitcom character, you wouldn't even recognize him if you were a time traveler that came from back when Dick was actually treated seriously, like who he was as a specific character mattered.

Tim's stuck in someone's fan fiction--like him calling Damian his baby brother? Bernard looking like that? That thin writing? Hahahaha give me a damn break, it's sooooo freaking bad. And his comic is so ugly. I know that artist would be perfect for something else, but not Tim, jeezus.

I was pretty excited when I thought Tim was going to be gay, because in my head I assumed it really took someone that new Tim's character well, and saw all the moments other gay people did that really connected to them and their experiences and let them relate to him.

Instead nah, it's instead "I really shipped Tim and Conner, and I wasn't sure if they let me do Conner. So I heard about Bernard, I don't know much about him, but he'll do I guess". Like there is no shame what so ever.

I don't even have a clue what's going on with Jason but I don't care, 'cause he hasn't been a good character since Under The Hood. I'm not down this this retconned filled copycat they've been peddling for over a decade. I want the actually interesting, stand-out Jason that had some of the biggest potential for character arcs. Not the one they fucked up time and time again.

Batgirls sucks. Like admittedly I haven't read it, but come on, don't pretend like enough hasn't been shared for it to be obvious. I know the characters well enough. There's a difference between 'Bad Faith' and 'Their is literally a massive gaping flaw right fucking there, look at it'. It has ruined them for the time being. I don't need to buy the entire sofa to inspect it further, when the massive coffee stain is RIGHT fucking THERE.

Damian hasn't been a consistently good character since Morrison. I seriously don't care what anybody says. If you have to put the character in situations and moments that would never happen or make no sense to make them likable, I think you're a bad writer, because fuck off, the original Damian as he grew was a great character, and I'm not here for this babified version made to appeal to the easiest common dominator. There is a difference between a character growing and just being out of character. I heard his solo wasn't that bad with him, but I still have no interest in it regardless.

So I can't read any of the Bat-Family. I thought about reading 'Batman' 'cause I heard after that really messy, badly paced, awkwardly written first arc it got better. But then again, I heard Teen Titans (2003), Tom Taylor's literally anything, Steph's Batgirl run, Super Sons and Red Hood and the Outlaws were all good, and those were some of the most frustrating reads of my life because they all changed the characters so much, or bad some of the most logic-less decisions that I was at a total lost at what made people like them.

I wanna read a comic the same way I enjoy a movie or TV franchise. Enjoy the stories, characters, arcs, and simply being able to enjoy it.

Reading and going "Okay that makes no sense" or "They so wouldn't do that" again and again feels like being grounded and punished.

Plus, old comics aren't even flawless, not that something has to be for me to like it. But when I read it so much that the flaws start sticking out more, then I'm making myself miserable again.

Like I used to be able to read Dixon's Robin run despite his shitty way of being, because it was good, and it still is, but those moments were Dixon projects parts of his own personality into the characters stick out to me way more now.

And the way fan's treat Bart made me too sad to read the good part of Impulse, and Cassie never had a solo I liked.

At least the mighty Ultimate Spider-Man is there, that never fails. But all this other stuff has me timid to read it.

--

Apologies for the rant and all, but all things considered what else do people do on Tumblr? Have polite conversation?

--

And for a long time just trying to share what I liked was enough for me, but I think I literally eventually simply said all I could say, and I felt I was repeating myself for ages.

Then there was seeing other fans just be total weirdos and lie about what happened, or at the very least stretch and hide details of the truth, just to make their favorite or what ever look better just to make people believe their desires:

Which is fucking creepy. Yeah you, who does that, in the event that you read this, it's fucking weird. Who does that, and why? Move onto something you actually like you kraken.

It's inevitable I might remake old posts for the sake of newer people, because some of the best vibes I've ever had was when I was making long informational posts for people to learn about the characters in easy to understand direct ways.

It satisfied my Autism and got me some praise, and compliments that made me feel like "Hey that mental thing I have isn't all bad!"

But when the people who used to care about that kind of stuff stops, and you're eventually left alone. It's pretty much back to the bottom for me, and my mental quirks are back to being a thing that causes me to be yelled at, by people who don't understand how I actually function.

--

I don't understand Ben 10 Alien Force in hindsight, why is everyone so different in a way that doesn't seem plausible within 5-seemingly-uneventful-for-the-most-part-years.

It felt like more of a reboot then the actual reboot looking back at it. And I loved it as a kid, and would probably still love reading it, but I feel like people don't talk about that enough.

--

Also the Eleventh Doctor makes me sad because I felt like he could've been the best, but when he stopped being "Old Quirky, formerly senile man in a young energetic intellectual body" and started treated more like a child it sort of ruined him. How you gonna give him moments where he's treated like the ultimate bad ass, he's just quirky, and then completely drop all of that to make him a joke. That's sad.

--

I also like WWE, but can't think of anything to say besides I think Roman Reigns is the worst part of the Bloodline and that he'd be better not being champion, because he doesn't make the titles feel like they truly matter. They're set decorations, rather than a plot point that feels important anymore.

Love the Sami stuff, and Roman's character work, but his matches without someone against him that's super great are really boring ignoring any storyline shenanigans that happen in them. It's a drag to have to wait to those moments.

Sims 4 Fontenot Legacy - Late Winter, Early Spring

Late winter of course brought along New Year's Eve. The family only invited a few people. Armani wanted to invite Matilda, but since she spent Winterfest at the house, her mother wanted her home for New Year's Eve. They still had a nice time with the small group.

They counted down together and all hugged it out (or, you know, kissed) at the stroke of twelve.

And then Sabrina developed a random new fear on the toilet 😂 This kid...

Several of the family members made resolutions, including getting more in shape or losing weight. Anya wants her body to be ready for the wedding, so she took the extra initiative to work out the next day. Of course, Robin and Sabrina joined.

In the evening, Sabrina got a call from Bernard. He invited them over for some time together. Sabrina accepted, but knew they should ask their mom first. Of course, they just said they were hanging casually with some friends.

To Sabrina's surprise, their mother actually said no. Scarlett is usually pretty chill and lets them do just about whatever they want. Of course, in the past, Sabrina hasn't done or requested to do things that were too crazy, so perhaps this was just the line that Scarlett draws. Feeling anxious about their relationship, Sabrina didn't feel right not going, especially since they already said they were coming. So, they did one of the first rebellious things they've ever done; they snuck out.

Once Sabrina's mother was asleep for the night, they slipped out the front door and went off to Bernard's house. The rest of the house was fast asleep.

Anya was also asleep when there was a sudden knock on the door. She headed down and realized Rowan had stopped by. Shocked, she let him inside. They hadn't spoken in a bit, so part of her was happy to see him.

They hugged and then sat down to chat for a bit. Rowan had no good explanation for the late visit, but Anya found herself enjoying the visit nonetheless. Their romance bar has gone down, and Anya is pretty sure her initial feelings for Rowan have pretty much faded, but seeing him still brought a smile to her face she wasn't expecting.

Before saying goodbye, the two shared one last embrace. Anya still feels confident in her decision to stay with Haru, but she's thankful for the brief time she had with Rowan. I think he is equally such.

Rowan is invited to the wedding, so probably the next time these two get to chat, Anya will be a married woman.

It was very late when Sabrina returned. Rowan had already left and Anya was back in bed. They slipped in, took a shower, and headed to bed.

I guess the evening went well for them, and luckily, since they left after Scarlett was asleep, they got away with it. Teenagers!

With the end of winter, Anya's wedding is only a few days away! The final countdown begins!

Break a Leg

"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them." - Andy Bernard

I've often been likened to be similar to Andy Bernard, a character you surely know on the TV show, The Office. And I guess that idea isn't super crazy or anything... I mean, let's be honest, we both enjoy singing, acting, and we like to have attention shown to us.

So yes, for better or for worse, I would probably be best fit for the role of Andy Bernard if I was cast in a spoof of The Office.

I suppose one way I sympathize with Andy is in the quote that I shared above. Actually, I think a lot of people understand that line. Nostalgia is a powerful feeling, one that makes you realize how great a certain time was, even if at the time you didn't think so. Stop reading for a second and picture a time that in hindsight you fondly look back and think, "Man, that was a great time in my life." Did you think of something?

To further this post, let me lay some rails down. This past Sunday, the church got to watch the VBS play in its entirety. The cast of the play put in many meticulous hours of memorization, blocking, and character development, so that the play would be a success.

And indeed, it was a success! I thoroughly enjoyed it, as did others. But on a deeper level, I missed it. For four years I had some role in the VBS drama team (and two years of Christmas plays). I played a shark, an idiotic criminal, and a 30 second role of Jesus coming out of the tomb, and an explorer on a trip who says nothing. Each role had its challenges, but golly was it exhilarating. But even more enjoyable were the relationships that were developed, the laughs that were had, the ideas that were thrown around. Any frustrations I had then I now forget, for they were so insignificant. All I remember are the laughs of the kids in the audience, the camaraderie of the cast, the nervous excitement for each performance. You see, nostalgia has a funny way of amplifying the good parts, and nullifying the bad parts. I'm thankful for that, because I have these wonderful memories with great friends. I wouldn't want to remember the bad times even if I have the option to.

In a very roundabout way, this post is a thank you to all the people involved in the fouryears of drama. If you're still reading this, thank you. So many wonderful memories I have, ones that I wouldn't trade. Watching that play the other night made me want to do it again. To work together as a team and share ideas, with the intention of drawing hearts to Christ, wouldn't that be fun to give it one more go? Yeah, sure it's wishful thinking, and yeah, maybe it would be altogether different. But man, those were some fun days!

However, I think we need to let go of those thoughts sometimes. We shouldn't get stuck in the past, because no matter how much we might want to, we can't go back there. God has us right here in our spot in life for His purpose, and His purpose only. That was then, and this is now, and now is the best time to live fully for Christ. I'm reminded of the song Best Days, by Lincoln Brewster:

"With everything that You've started in me I believe that You will be faithful And I receive Everything that You're doing in me And I believe That the rest of my life Will be the best days of my life."

The truly best days, the days that we get to spend in eternity next to our Savior, are coming. Until then, we run with endurance the race that is set before us, and look to Jesus who is the author and the perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him, endured the suffering of the cross so we don't have to (Hebrews 12:1-2 [paraphrased by me]). Praise Jesus for that!

survey #015

“tongues, always pressed to your cheeks while my tongue is on the inside of some other girl’s teeth”

What’s your name? Brittany. Who are you closest to in your family? My mother. What program on your computer do you use the most? WordPad, on this laptop at least. Do you have a cat? Yes! Do you think other people consider you a flirt? Deeefinitely not. That is not a strong trait of mine, and I don't flirt with just anybody so you're lucky to see me do it at all. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? I've looked this up before and don't feel like doing it again, but I can't remember if the few procedures I personally want are considered "plastic" surgery or just "cosmetic." I THINK there's a difference? The ones I know I will want all relate to fixing weight gain damage. Who is your hero in life? My mom and Girt. What is your favorite breed of dog? I ALWAYS forget these exist, but Xoloitzcuintle (Mexican hairless dog) are very high on the list aesthetically. I know absolutely nothing about their demeanors, though. I also have such a fondness for big ol' Saint Bernards. Are you a fan of anime? Yeah. Have you ever appeared on television? No. What was your first job? GameStop sales associate. Where is your favorite city? I don't have one, honestly. Are you currently going to college? No. Hey, remember when I said I was going back when I got outta the hospital? Yeah I'm not anymore for Reasons alsdjfa;lskjdawelrwe literally NEVER trust when I say I'm going to do something lmfao Who is your favorite celebrity? He may not be my "active" favorite celeb currently, but I think Markiplier/Mark Fischbach will always be the celebrity I've been most obsessed with/looked most up to. Haven't watched him regularly in well over a year now, but baby that tattoo I see in the corner of my eye still means everything. He got my ass through A LOT. Do you have trouble letting go of the past? I have a HORRIBLY hard time with it, but I'm challenging it. Change allows me to experience more great things in the brief little flicker in time that's my life. Do you use teeth whitener? No, but I plan to HOPEFULLY get them professionally whitened one day. Depression and its buddy neglecting self-care have done their work. Tell me a joke. hey look it's the supreme court Would you consider your family “rich”? There have been a few occasions where I have overheard my mother mention we're below the poverty line, so......... yeah no. Do you live near any volcanoes? No. Have you ever tried “planking”? Well, the exercise pose was one that was available on Wii Fit, and I sometimes did it. That shit hurt, even when I was in great shape back then. Are you confident with your appearance? Ugh, no. This is so shallow and enforcing of fatphobia, I know, but I'm hoping when I lose the weight I want to that I'll learn to love my looks SOME. I never have. I have ALWAYS thought I was slightly too big, and now when I look back at high school pictures it's like....... bitch WHERE??????????? like ugh I would kill for that body back. Living an existence where you hate your literal vehicle of existence is a MISERABLE one. Do you enjoy snow? lovvvvveeeeee Are you in a good mood? Uh, can't say I am. I feel raw and vulnerable and confused after having a total fucking breakdown in the movie theater. Do you know how to tune a guitar? I did, once upon a time. I don't have a trained ear for it now. Do you like to record voice memos? No; I actually get SUPER embarrassed talking to myself for absolutely any reason at all. Like I just won't. Do you get told often you are wise for your age? I wouldn't say *often*, but it's definitely happened. Have any bands your obsessed with? idk am I not being obnoxious enough about it Have you ever been in the hospital for more than a week? Yep. Have you been to the beach yet this summer? Nope, don't wanna. Have you ever dropped your cell phone in water? No. Do you like white chocolate or dark chocolate better? Dark. White is normally just too sweet. Do you like pot roast? No. Have you ever thought about being a stripper? No. Have you ever watched Pokemon? It's sad, I was so obsessed but embarrassed to be so as a kid. It was a "boy" thing, even when I certainly didn't think that and I don't remember anyone telling me so... My RSD started YOUNG, boys. What's something you wish you liked but you don't? Honestly, morning jogs. Man, I'd love to get up early on a chilly morning and grab my iPod and do ANY amount of walking/running around the cul-de-sac. I used to walk ALL the time in high school with my iPod on me, and those were good fuckin' times. Calming, soothing memories. But anyway starting the day feeling that accomplished would ROCK. Do you use a baby voice when talking to animals? Well duh because all animals are in fact Baby Would you say your parents put too much pressure on you? No. What's for dinner today? I had Cinnamon Toast Crunch that I didn't really even want. It is so weird, usually never wanting to eat anymore. What's the best thing that's happened today? Seeing Girt and him just being an extremely fucking supportive boyfriend. I absolutely crumbled in that theater and all the way out of it and he was right there in every way. What about worst thing? Oh jeez man, I don't wanna go into deep detail again, but basically, the scene of the father in The Black Phone beating his daughter with a belt. God I just shivered so we're leaving it at that. What's something you've been made fun of for before? Always being attached to some form of technology. Family, family friends, etc. of the older generations just HAVE to point it out, and while by this point in time I've definitely developed a callus to it, it can still sometimes dig in a bit and annoy me. Like trust me bro I am fucking aware. What is something you need to work on? I need to CHILL on my soda consumption like this is a probbbbbblemmmmmm What are you craving right now? I don't like the word "craving" in this context but whatever, still a strong desire, I wish Girt could come back. He has some obligations at home tonight, so he had to leave way early. Like I'm fine right now, but just with the events of today, I woulda loved if he could have stayed longer and kept being a distraction. Do you know anyone in the military? Not in my personal life, but I was reminded today I almost could have. I totally forgot Girt had mentioned in the past that he'd seriously considered joining the military like his dad, even speaking with the recruiters a few times. Thank the fucking sky and stars he didn't because I would C R U M B L E if my partner was engaged in active duty like no I will NAIL YOU to these floorboards I absolutely could not function day by day lasdkjfa;lkdj;lkewjr Have you told anyone you loved them today? Many times. Do you have any songs stuck in your head? THIS one'll shock ya, I actually have 3OH!3's classic "DONTTRUSTME" on repeat because it's randomly stuck in my head???? Do you like watching scary movies? I love scary movies, but goddamn I apparently have to pre-screen for abusive alcoholic dads now ok cool Are you planning on getting any tattoos or piercings soon? SOON, probably not, if we're just being realistic. But goddamn do I want to get both. Do you like frogs? I love frogs <3 Are you afraid of dying? Not very. My thing is because I was raised with it and therefore my brain built around it, my childhood Christianity still whispers in my ear sometimes, "Well what if there IS a Hell?", because that is exactly where I'd be going. The current me does NOT believe some invisible control freak of a deity in the sky sends even people who were simply born without being "enlightened" of how to get to Heaven to a pit of eternal fire and unspeakable pain, but you have to remember that again: I was built around these core beliefs. Have I mentioned I fucking hate religion????????? Where’s the last place you’ve been to out of state? Virginia. Ash and the fam go up to Lake Gaston, where she got married, in Virginia regularly, and occasionally Ma and I will drive up there just for a day. Have you ever been kissed in the rain? Yeah. It was cute, he did it literally just to say we did I think, haha. We'd just gotten back to my house from doing I sure as hell don't remember what and it was raining lightly and he decided we were gonna do that today. GOD I cannot fucking get over when I talk about Jason and our memories together now, it feels like such an entirely different life now. I don't want it back. I accept that it's better in the past. I cherish what he was and leave it at that. I'm leveling up y'all alksdjfak;lwjdeoaiwehoiawje What letter does your last name start with. "D." Would you rather use a trackpad or a mouse? A motherfucking mouse, I am DONNNNEEEEE with this trackpad life w/ this laptop. Do you like steak? I am very picky with steak, like very. It has to be cooked like medium-medium well and not dry and tough as nails. And keep the fat AWAY from me omg Do you eat healthy? Weeeeell no, now I don't eat *enough*. I am always one extreme or the other, my friend. Have you ever participated in a spelling bee? I haven't, but honestly, I shoulda. In school I was so good at spelling; like you could say a big word I'd never heard/seen before and boom, spelled right. I'm actually losing that as I age... or at least, it's definitely not as impressive as when I was a kid. Do you like getting massages? If you're not my s/o oh my god do not touch me like that, massages have always felt like innately intimate to me and I don't want some stranger giving me one. Would you rather be too hot or too cold? TOO COLD oh my god I am done with the fuckin heat y'all What kind of person were you in middle school? Oh god, awkward. Sad, confused. Developing a lot of mental health problems. It's actually quite strange to me, how few memories I have of middle school compared to other periods in my life. Maybe it was the depression and all setting in, idk, but my memory is just like... this one big blur. All my teenage memories, they seem to start with Jason (who I started dating not even a month shy of 16), like I legit mean it. It's like that's when I came alive. Have you ever thought about running away? I did once. Biggest, shortest teenage angst-driven rebellion of my life. Do you like pixie sticks? I do. Have you ever played with Silly Putty? Haha, ohhhhhh did I... I specifically remember stuffing putty into the belly pouch of this plush I had of the two-headed dragons from Dragon Tales, one of my favorite childhood shows. My mom was SO mad, haha. Have you seen The Hunger Games? I saw the first movie and read the first book, but that's it. Both were fantastic. Have you ever worked at a fast food place? No. What’s on your mind right now? Something private, honestly. Have you ever sent someone sexual pictures of yourself? No. Have you ever had a concussion? Oh yes, I got one after fainting out of the shower and banging my chin directly on the bathroom floor and breaking some teeth. That. Shit. SUCKED. Have you ever been in a tanning bed? No, never will go in one. Do you know anyone who is battling cancer? I don't think so, no. Maybe I've forgotten. Have you ever donated money to a charity? Yes. What age did you have your first kiss at? I was a month into 16. Do you regret losing your virginity to whoever you lost it to? I can quite confidently say I won't unless something traumatic happens. What are your plans for tomorrow? I don’t have any. Have you ever auditioned for a talent competition? Nope. Would you rather get high or get drunk? High, so long as it's just weed. That sounds like a much better experience than being a sloppy drunk imo. Have you ever failed a drug test? No. Do you like the Silent Hill movies? First one, great, though I personally would've liked it to be more loyal to the game's plot. Second one, garbage. If I re-watch it now? It is literally to see Pyramid Head and the Nurses fuckin exclusively lmaooo

Ryan and Bruce

Cute 20 & Spooky 18

Thank you for the ask/prompt! I love these two, which is why I wrote for them first, and I actually managed to write something non-angsty for them!

Ryan & Bruce [otp: mutually assured destruction]

Warm Welcome [cute #20: first frost of the year]

Ryan woke up to two very unexpected surprises, and she added in the unexpected despite the obvious definition of the word surprise because of how caught off guard she was. The sweater she had fallen asleep in did nothing to ward off the chill as she emerged from unconsciousness, and she hissed as cold air hit her bare legs after swinging her blanket off of her. It’d been cold the night before, but not so cold that she’d felt the need to find a pair of pants to sleep in or even pull on a pair of socks. Now she hopped from foot to foot as she crossed the wooden floors of her bedroom, and her breath showed in a pale cloud in front of her face as she moved to the single window in her bedroom. Ice had crept across the glass while she slept, and she pressed her fingers against the edge of forming frost. She was shivering, acutely aware of the temperature since all she was wearing was the sweater and a pair of panties, but she couldn’t stop looking outside long enough to go find some more clothes.

In Banshee City, there was never any real snow. Occasional ice, yes, but not until much closer to Christmastime. She hadn’t been expecting it to get this cold, this fast. Down below, people were fully bundled up and moving quickly to get to their destinations. (The people here always moved quickly, as a safety precaution, but it seemed like the cold gave them some extra motivation to get to where they were going.) Outside, ice had formed along everything. The rough bricks of the buildings, the cracked sidewalks, and around the perimeter of her small window. Her breath puffed out against the glass, fogging it up, and she tugged her sweater sleeve down over her hand to wipe the glass. Small little circles until she could see the outside world again.

“You know.” She tensed at the sound of the voice and then instantly relaxed as she recognized it, and she turned to greet her second surprise of the morning as he continued talking. “My house keeps the internal temperature regulated. If you were there, you wouldn’t be shivering right now.”

“Bruce!” She saw his cheek twitch, under the thick scruff of a beard that he was apparently growing, just before she threw herself at him. She hadn’t been expecting him back for at least another week, possibly longer, but he was here. Arms caught her easily, swept her up into the air and pulled her in, and she locked her legs around the soft material of a padded jacket that still had cold ice starting to drip from the back of it.

“You miss me?” he asked as her arms wound around his neck. Bruce was freezing, especially against the bare parts of her skin, but she didn’t care. He’d been gone for almost a month, and she had missed him. Missed him enough to admit to it, just not to his face. So she ducked down to nuzzle under his jaw, felt the scrape of his beard against her cheek, and reached up to bury her cold fingers in his thick hair.

“I might have missed you, a little,” she whispered. He must have been wearing gloves at some point, because his hands were warm as they swept up her thighs to rest easily on her hips under her sweater. Technically, under his sweater that she had taken for herself.

“You could have missed me from the lakehouse.” His hands were warm against her back, pulling her tighter against him, and she shifted to run her cold nose against his cheek.

“And miss seeing you actually show up here? Not a chance,” she laughed. Bruce hated her apartment, hated that she had chosen to live in Gotham’s crime-filled East End, but she felt more at home here. At least, she did when Bruce was gone. The lakehouse didn’t feel like home without Bruce there.

“Will you come back with me now?” Ryan pulled back to look at him properly, and there was still a hint of a smile over his expression. Softening the line of his mouth and putting a little extra warmth in his eyes. Her hands moved to the front of his face, fingers scratching through the beard that was new and different against her skin, and she leaned forward to feel that newness against her lips.

“Only if you promise to keep this for a little bit longer,” she bargained. She tightened her thighs around him, just enough for him to feel the pressure, and felt one hand pressing solidly against the center of her back.

“Only if you promise to keep this on,” he added and used his other hand to pull on the bottom hem of the sweater she’d taken from his closet. She thought that over, the feeling of warm cotton and soft scruff against her skin, and pulled back with a smile.

“Deal.”

Here Lies [spooky #18: an ancient mausoleum, stone door crumbling]

The grass was so soft under her feet, a cushion for every step forward, but where were her shoes? Ryan never walked around outside barefoot, just in case something happened and she needed to take off running. She continued forward, and she looked up. The sky was dark, moon hanging full and swollen in the otherwise dark night, but she couldn’t see any stars. It should have been cold, but the breeze that lifted her hair from her neck was soothing. A balm against her aggravated skin, and her eyes closed as she kept moving forward. She didn’t need to have her eyes open to know where she was going. She let herself enjoy the moment. The tickle of grass against the bare bottoms of her feet, warm dew brushing against her ankles, and that rolling breeze under the starless night.

“This isn’t right,” she thought as the grass changed. The softness twisted, thickened and pushed, and her eyes stayed closed as she winced. Dead hardened grass cut against her skin, ripped at the bottoms of her feet and pulled above her ankles, but she couldn’t stop. Couldn’t go back. Had to keep pushing forward. The breeze was hot now, licking against the back of her neck like some great beast following at her heels.

Ryan opened her eyes as everything went perfectly still, perfectly quiet, and there was a door in front of her. Tall and imposing, thick stone, a darker gray even in the moonlight. One hand reached out, fingertips brushed against the center of the door, and she watched as it started to break. First, a single crack down the middle. Loud as thunder. She reached out with both hands, dug her fingers into the stone, and started to pull. Stone crumbled under her hands and landed at her feet, a fine dust to soothe the places where she was still bleeding, and she couldn’t stop. Kept pulling and tearing at the door, and when did she start screaming? Her throat burned as she screamed up at the sky, at the moon that loomed above her and slowly started to bleed red, and the stone door was crumbled into nothingness. Not even dust was left on her fingertips, and she locked her teeth together as she continued forward.

The inside of the mausoleum was cold, freezing. Her bare feet burned against the cold floor as she walked inside, and the air burrowed under her clothes to slip under her skin. This was an ancient place, colder than the deepest depths of hell, and she wanted to run. Wanted to be back in Bruce’s warm bed, with his solid arms around her and grounding her, but she couldn’t stop. She kept walking forward, always forward, and her bottom lip quivered as she looked to her right. The walls were stone, just as solid as the door had been, with names carved deep into them.

Emil Dietrich.

Her step-father always had grease on his hands, from the mechanic’s shop, and he had laughed with his entire body.

Maria Dietrich.

Her mother had a soft voice, perfect for singing lullabies and telling bedtime stories, and she had smelled like lemon and vanilla.

Harrison Dietrich.

The oldest of her younger brothers, sweet baby Harry, wanted to be an engineer. Wanted to build and create and make the world beautiful.

Bernard Dietrich.

Her littlest brother that was destined to tower over them all, fierce darling Bear, had wanted to know everything about everything. Had wanted to learn as much as he could.

Chelsea Dietrich.

Her baby sister, bubbly tenacious Chels, had been the brightest part of her life. Had come to her whenever she wanted to feel safe or needed a hand to hold.

Ryan’s fingers pulled at her hair, because she could hear them. Hear them all behind the stone, crying out. Screaming from the bullets and the fire, from the things that ripped them apart and turned them to ash. Asking where she was, why she wasn’t there with them. Hadn’t she been there with them? Torn apart, set ablaze, and locked in the darkness? Even Ryan’s screams couldn’t drown them out. Not even her apologies, for daring to keep breathing and for existing out in the light, could get them to quiet. She thought she could even hear the stone starting to shift, to break apart, as they tried to claw their way out of the darkness. She belonged with them and had left, so now they were going to join her. As the first stone cracked, allowing a small hand to slip free, Ryan stumbled away and turned to press her face against the opposite wall.

The mausoleum was filled with screams, begging questions and yelled accusations, and Ryan pushed harder against the stone wall as hands started to pull at her. Grease stained fingers around her ankles and a small hand curling around her left wrist. Her eyes opened as she was pulled back, as hands that smelled like rot and lemon circled softly around her throat, and she saw the name carved in the stone ahead of her. The name that she had pressed her face against. Thickly carved lines, stark and shining wetly in the darkness as more hands pulled her backwards. As words were whispered, asking her to stay. Telling her to stay where she belonged. Reminding her that she was never meant to leave in the first place. All she could see was that name, the only one carved on this side of the mausoleum.

Ryan Lopez.

“Ryan!”

The sound of her own name, being shouted right into her face, caused her entire body to lock up. She went completely still, senses straining and overwhelmed, and it took her a moment to realize what had happened. She’d been dreaming. The grass, the moon, the mausoleum. It had all been a dream. She was lying in Bruce’s bed, on her back with his soft sheets tangled around her ankles, and she was breathing too fast. Her entire body was pushing up against Bruce’s with every terror-filled breath, because Bruce was braced over her. Elbows sinking into the plush mattress on either side of her head, and she locked her gaze with his. The warm color of his eyes helped chase away the cold of the phantom mausoleum, and her fingers scratched against his back before flattening to push him down. She needed to feel him pressed against her, to hold her down and ground her in this moment, and she slowed her breathing to match his. To get them moving in sync. Hooked a leg around his waist and pulled every part of him against her, until she was fully compressed.

“Tell me you’ll keep me here.” Her voice was rough, she must have screamed in her sleep, and Bruce’s eyes were searching hers. Determined to find the reasoning behind her words without any context, and her legs wrapped around his as he flattened himself against her.

“Anyone that wants you, will have to go through me,” he promised her. It shouldn’t be comforting. She shouldn’t want him to stand between her and death, but she shook in relief and clawed her hands against his shoulders. Gripped the back of his hair and pulled him down.

“Don’t carve my name into stone,” she whispered against his chin. He pulled back enough to see her, for his warm breath to drift across her skin, and she’d been crying. The shifting air drifted across the wet tracks, leaving behind a lingering coldness. His eyes were analyzing, mind working through everything he knew about her, and he dropped to press his brow against hers. Pressed tight. His solid heat against her shaking softness.

“Ashes to ashes,” slipped across her lips. Ryan would never be buried. Her name wouldn’t be immortalized in stone. When she was done, she’d be ash. As she was meant to be.

“Bruce.” The hands had reached for her, pulled at her, begged her to come home to them. “Bruce.” She had wanted the darkness, still did sometimes, but she wanted this more. Wanted him more. “Bruce.”

“It’s okay, I’m here,” Bruce said against her temple. He was blanketing her now, keeping her safe and protected from the world, and she slowly started to relax. Started to come back to herself. “You’re here, with me.”

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