#i cannot escape it i fear | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mollypaup · 8 months

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insane to watch rgu and come to the conclusion that the boys/men in that show are just evil btw. your bioessentialism is showing and it's embarrassing :/

#do i think akio is an irredeemable bastard and a shitstain on existence?#yes.#am i also distinctly and keenly aware of how the patriarchy pushed and encouraged him into becoming the awful person he is now?#also yes #literally under the threat of violence from an infinite number of swords he was pushed to this point. i cannot fault him his fear.#but I also think that the things he's done go so far past the realm of reasonable action into deliberate harm for personal gain #that he can never escape the system #he's a part of it now in a deeper way #rgu #anyway. thinking about tougas cactus flower forever and always.

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somebluemelodies · 7 months

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is it me or are luis and emi traversing awfully close to joel and ellie territory

#as much as i love the fact roier cannot escape fictional fatherhood #i fear for what this may entail #opq

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bakedbananners · 27 days

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the more I think about it calling yourself murderbot after killing a lot of people really is iconic

#oooo look at me I cannot escape my greatest regret and deepest fear and my base nature(programming) oouuuuuu #it was AN ACCIDENT #a whole new level of insanity #murderbot #the murderbot diaries #me talking

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shining-gem34 · 5 months

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Path Choice: Hunt

||Long overdue thoughts regarding how DH obtains his paths and what it means to him. I did want to like write a drabble about it, but now have this short summary of my thoughts.

The Hunt

Initially, Dan Heng followed The Hunt because he feels like he should. Ever since he was born, he was educated of Dan Feng life and crimes (or more like drilled it into his head). Because he is Dan Feng reincarnation, Dan Heng had to bear his punishment.

By following the Path of the Hunt, the Reignbow Arbitor, Dan Heng feels that "he" (Dan Feng) can find redemption- forgiveness for his sins. That way, Dan Heng won't be haunted by that man past anymore.

There is some idea that Dan Heng met Lan in a dream before he was sentenced to banishment. Unable to recognize the vast space around him, he sees a shooting star moving too fast for his eyes to follow: Beautiful but terrifying. All he hears, as arrows of light descends toward him, are along the lines of: "A Scion of Permanence? The Azure Dragon who attempted to drag the Stars into the ancient sea. Very well. If you seek to redeem your crimes, then take my arrows and vow to annihilate all of Yaoshi spawns in your path."

Then Dan Heng wakes up, confused about his dream. He had no time to decipher it when he's escorted out of the Luofu; exiled. The first signs of Lan blessing are subtle:

The first signs of wind gathering in the palm of his hand (a gift to hide the waters running down his veins)

The confidence he feels unflinching in the face of danger as he wields his spear.

The whispers in the back of his mind (Dan Feng? Lan? Who?) that guides him how to keep his footsteps quiet, to find weaknesses against his opponents, and know when to retreat/fight.

But upon his first meeting with Blade as they clashed, Dan Heng realizes the impact of Lan blessings. The single-minded focus he had, his defenses shifting to pure offensive, and the aggressiveness in his strikes he never had before all because of Blade as his enemy. The fury and hate that tastes like bile in his throat does not belong to him.

It belongs to Lan, and it is Lan that controls him at this moment.

Dan Heng hates it. He hates it even more when he feels something else fighting within him- Permanence, Dan Feng maybe. Struggling to keep Lan power at bay, forcing Dan Heng to stagger in his movements and slow (barely avoiding the lethal strikes of Blade).

Oh, Dan Heng is sick to his core that he has no control at the moment. He hates the feeling that he is never free, even in his own body he has no autonomy.

The first time he stabs Blade in the heart, Dan Heng finally feels like himself. He throws up, the whispers in the back of his mind slowly fading. He believes it was Lan at the moment, but the many times after that...

Dan Heng only slayed Blade if the situation is necessary, and it was within his own choice. In a way, he feels like Lan is watching nearby and mocking him.

The thing is, an Aeon's blessing is also a curse for Dan Heng, he was unaware at the time that the beast he killed many times is the same man his previous incarnation, Dan Feng, dearly loves.

And remember, Lan only requirement for Dan Heng in exchange for his blessings (and allowing him to follow his path) is simple: Annihilate Yaoshi spawns in his path. :)))

Inspired by @everlastiingiimmortals and their amazing Jing Yuan Erudition Path HC's. >:333

#the guard of the express (dan heng)#lotus moon blooming from mud (il dan heng)#jade personal headcanons #||I will do Destruction Path later #||This is a hot mess. I was suppose to do a decent summary.#||I will go back and edit this later #||Remove some tidbits here and there that don't make sense #||I am sleepy #||Willow I still love your Jing Yuan HC's of how he got Nous attention and the impact it had on his life...In all the bad ways. :DDD #||This is long overdue zzzzz #||I also need to decide Dan Feng Path too #||Hints of XingYue #||Okay I was going to add that Dan Heng does love the Luofu despite the shit that happens to him but he considers teh Astral Express #||His home now #||As I wrote the “Follow teh Hunt as a path to redemption” thing #||I really went ahead and be like hehe punishment for Dan Feng where Dan Heng ends up taking that punishment too #||Note Dan Heng absolutely feels like shit because he's not sure if he's in control or something else is which #||adds to his fear when he starts to come to terms that he cannot escape Dan Feng past; that he won' be himself anymore but someone else #||OKay I shut up here now before the tags are filled with more rambles

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han-merlin · 2 months

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SHE FROM ITALIA !!!!

NOW WHY-

NEVER LET DUŠAN SEE THIS OR HE WILL LOSE HIS MIND

Speaking of the former Yugoslavian

What in the fuck was he up to today 🤨🤨🤨

#i cannot escape jules face app #i hesitate to tag this but i fear it has to be done #federico chiesa #federica???#dusan vlahovic #god help us all

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mimocrocodilelol · 1 year

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Unfinished doodles, am I right?-

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nimue-hidden-lake · 1 month

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I swear my friends are trying to convert me to a full time Izumi Kisser...

One showed me the Korean ad (this is where these screenshots come from) ... I am not ok.

Also they always introduce me as the 'Izumi Lover' now. Goodbye.

#Nimue's Beloved #He's not in my dreams yet but I fear for it everyday...#Ironic Blue #Note: This is all in good fun!#But still... Why does this have to happen? Why can't I escape him!? He's everywhere I go!#But he loves showing up in my timelines... I cannot-#f/o community #fictional other community #romantic f/o #enstars yume #yumejoshi #yumeposting

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crispinkiss · 3 months

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outer wilds dark bramble u are my enemy

#i already have a horrible fear of large sea creatures you cannot do this to me #to find feldspars camp and the escape pod i just went in with my suit but i don't have enough oxygen to last until the vessel #so fuck me i guess

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kamenrideryeets · 2 years

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Listen. A lot of battle and area themes in Pokemon are meant to be scary or imposing, but only Volo’s theme was specifically composed to make grown men shit their pants.

#pokemon #pokemon legends arceus #legends arceus spoilers #Volo #Cynthia #Made to strike FEAR into the hearts of those who grew up with Gen 4 #the INSTANT he sends out Spiritomb #you know exactly what can of worms you've opened #It doesn't matter the generation #It doesn't matter the time period #You cannot escape her #(especially when you regard the 'past life' theory)#I haven't actually played the postgame unfortunately #probably gonna save that for when I've beaten Scarlet #but when I get back to Legends? HOO BOY #I am preparing for the worst #DUDUDUDUN DUDUDUDUN DUDUDUDUN DUDUDUDUN

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hanrinz · 3 months

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as a rafayel girlie surving as an f2p is hard, i can already feel it

#lowk wanting to write for him lol #THIS IS NEXT LEVEL DELUSIONS GIVUNG ME #someone sedate me #its the sassy man apocalypse i fear i cannot escape #hanni’s voicemail.

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trips2saturn · 2 years

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“i’m proud of you.” *proceeds to flicker his flashlight on her face, cuing fond laughter*

#rina #MY LOVES #im sorry i fear this scene has me in a chokehold i cannot escape from #hsmtmts #gina porter #ricky bowen #ricky x gina

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itstimeforstarwars · 1 year

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The first half of the next chapter is just getting all the readers caught up on what, exactly, Qui-Gon’s mission is, and then so far the second half is Cody having no idea what is going on.

#chit chat #no one has read the source material but fear not!#for i will summarize and also dramatize and even politicize!#andra is an environmentalist so u cannot escape the politicize sorry #i stuck mostly to canon except when i didn’t because a lot of the dialogue is meh so i changed it #and i aged up the wording and themes a bit so that this reads less like a book for 9yos #this story is probably at least a 12yo level now except for all the swear words #lmao

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softceleste · 6 months

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I stg the universe is shifting and it’s not for me jfc

#finally fell asleep after 45 hours of no sleep - slept like 4 hours - my brother calls and wakes me up because he dropped a glass bowl #and cannot escape the kitchen in fear of getting glass in his hands and tires - i can barely stand up straight rn my and my vision was so #blurred I could not see what I was looking for - anyway found glass with my feet! I can feel them rn and it’s so weird ???? Not used to #that these days tbh and I’ve got work in a couple hours so 💀 fun fun #someone literally come to my house and smother me in a pillow if I am still posting in 20 minutes #or if you see me on Pinterest bc lbr that’s the site I lose time on the most when I need to sleep #Love how my eyes decided I’m allowed to see right as I need to sleep again and not in the minefield of glass shards #Why are bodies and may I exchange mine pls?

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skyhill362 · 1 year

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Me, staring at my dashboard, knowing damn well it is ungodly hours of the night: entertain me.

#I require new content #🧍#you cannot escape #do they know who I am? No.#should they still fear me?#… yes…#maybe..?#pls fear me

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nosferatufaggot · 1 year

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Hey, can someone make me immortal so I don't have a freak out on a daily basis?

#Death makes my mental health so fucking bad and I literally cannot escape it.#What tv show doesn't deal with mortality?#NONE I TELL YA! ESPECIALLY THE ONES I LIKE!#So I'm constantly consuming media incredibly bad for my mental health.#The fear of dying is so severe that I wanna off myself so I don't have to think about it anymore.#But that kinda entirely defeats the purpose.#I genuinely truly want to live forever.#And people who say you live your life to the fullest because you only have a short amount of time to do so #WRONG!!! WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!#I'd live my life even MORE if I couldn't die!#I'd jam pack my life!#If I went on a walk around the world I wouldn't be wasting precious time! I'd be lounging!#And I'd certainly jump off tons of cliffs.#I'd be far more socially unacceptable.#What sucks is that I've dealt with this everyday for years. YEARS! And you'd think that would defeat the purpose!#'Look. You've aged. Nothing bad has happened. Go outside.'#But no...I'm still like this.#So please make me immortal.

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thegodthief · 1 year

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For years, I have dreamt of a Table of Practice. For most of those years, the design was indistinct and often looked like whatever image of something else in a book or online I had seen prior to going to bed. But little by little, specifics of the table would come forth and "lock" into place.

Now I realize this is something that will be physically made. I close my eyes and see it in front of me. I see the engravings on the rim and on the edge. I know what is on the underside and what kind of cloth it will be rested on and wrapped with when not in use. Areas that were vague and shimmery become precise and measured as I learn what those specifics are for and why they need to be like that.

These names go here and those symbols go there and little by little I start to understand how a Table of Practice is not just a "table" but it is a map and it is a beacon and it is a universe unto itself when all the pieces are assembled.

I look at the well known tables and I understand why the magician put this name here even though their peers put that name there instead. There is no universal Table of Practice. There is an idea you start out from and as you learn more, understand more, the table become personalized to the point that what makes sense and is appropriate to you is blasphemous and disastrous to another.

And I sit here, with the afterimage still obscuring my physical sight, and I want to fucking scream to any heaven that dares to witness me.

Why?

Why now?

"Why do you come to me now, when I am like this?"

Why do you tell me [redacted] and show me [static] and pour out fulfillment of the promises when the very people that were supposed to hold me in peace so I could properly mature into this role did their literal damndest to break and kill me instead?

I shiver in rage. No amount of tears wash the image of the table from my mind.

They had beaten me until my ribs cracked and called it an exorcism. They forced me to confess sins of their invention to justify snuffing the light pouring out of my mouth. If they had not worked so diligently to change the color of my skin, I would not have fled from them into the darkness that saved me.

And now. Now that I know what I was then, what I am now, and am learning what the fury of a kettle of sangre sucia can do, now I am shown this and told,

"This is yours. Learn it. Make it. Use it."

Why?

Why now?

Why do you come to me now, when I am like this?

When the oaths can't be walked back. When the covenants are irreparably broken. When the marks are there to be seen by those that can see. When the ugly fruit thrown outside the berm spawns a tree that cannot be uprooted.

The image of the Table of Practice is nearly complete. Against my will, I learn about the angels represented in the markings and the context of the rings. Despite my nature, I am promised support and assistance in collecting the knowledge I will need to not only understand the importance of the Table, but to use it without detriment to myself.

I am not Christian, I say to nothing tangible.

That was never a requirement. It's hard to reject an answer I did not hear.

Then why are you fucking with me now, I breathe through tightened lips.

Because the promises will be kept.

I close my eyes and see a Table of Practice. I can all but feel the texture of the carved and lacquered wood under my fingers. As it assembles in my mind, it feels like a seal is beginning to crumble and a strange and curious light is beginning to seep into my life.

And I weep, because it is beautiful.

#Keri is being weird again.#This is simultaneously what I have always wanted and what I have always feared.#I asked my familiar what they thought of all this.#They said I cannot escape what I always have been.#But I remind them that they are a testament to what I have become.#They agree and then say humanity has always been a contradiction of exceptions.#Why would I be any different.

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