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#i can just word vomit whatever i want w/o worrying about coherence
padfootastic · 2 years
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#i don’t think i can overstate how much i hate the ‘poor reggie forced into bad things :(‘ take lol#i mean. i get that it’s probably the only way people who don’t like dealing w complexity can make sense of this ship#which like. fair i guess. but they’re also often the loudest in the fandom and that’s when i get annoyed
literally taking words out of my own mouth. and yknow, i love jegulus actually, but what i love is the opposite dynamic that you could never get with prongsfoot, the "running into each other in the battlefield from opposite sides" kind of drama and the way they really force each other to get out of their comfort zone and confront their biases. and i swear i can't read 90% of todays jegulus fics for this exact reason it drives me insaneeeee
(also the best kind of jegulus (and the only right kind) is the one where both of them would still choose sirius over each other)
(also how are your tags always better than the actual post asfjk)
i’ve read exactly two jegulus fics i like so far. i don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone that both of them have sirius as a central character who’s in the know about the relationship since the beginning lol (it’s this and this) sadly, i don’t think either of those are angsty enough for ur tastes :p
also gosh yes!! i think, of all we know about them, one thing both of them would be agreed on is that sirius is no. 1. like even in a war setting for example, where they’re both on different sides, i can see them meeting clandestinely just to come to the mutual conclusion that no matter what happens, sirius does not get hurt. but also, the possible flip side of that is so much angst. jealousy, bitterness, possessiveness—both of them want sirius’ attention in different ways and there’s resentment between them for the longest time because of it. reg because he thinks james stole his brother and james because he thinks reg could’ve done more to protect him/doesn’t like how his actions hurt sirius.
i think james’ black and white morality would also play a big role here. in his mind, regulus should’ve chose sirius above everything else. his actions of siding with his family would read as betrayal to james who has no patience for that or anything that hurts sirius. he doesn’t care for the complexities and nuances that reg’s life is probably made of.
on the other hand, i think regulus would also be at least a little aware of that fact? and he’d hate the fact that james has it so easy. not just in terms of obvious privilege (which the blacks do too) but also like, how easy it is for him to be brave and moral and good when regulus has to claw his way out to achieve some semblance of balance in his life. james’ judgement seems not just hypocritical but also unfounded for him, because james has never had to fight against the kind of pressures he had. and he knows, deep down, where j is coming from too which makes him even more angry at the whole situation.
i can see both of them hiding this animosity from sirius for the longest time, because they know he wouldn’t like it, at all. he puts up this front that he doesn’t care about his family but he does, and james doesn’t wanna make that anxiety worse. no one can be blind to how close sirius is to james, def not regulus, so he puts up the bare minimum effort into making sure he doesn’t show more hostility than required. also,,,,i think both of them might have this latent fear that if they force sirius to choose, they might be the ones left behind? like,,i don’t think sirius will actually do that but it’s an irrational anxiety that they do not wanna materialise under any circumstance so they try their best to make sure it never happens.
and sirius would be the impetus of change for both of them, in my mind. they’re a package deal on both ends so they have to learn to, like u said, confront their biases. i genuinely think sirius is central to a jegulus arc so seeing him cut out or turned into the villain or used only as a wolfstar puppet just really, really enrages me lol
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achieveandhunt · 5 years
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live typing extra life 2019
warning: this a fucking LONG post. if you plan on reading it all, godspeed.
i typed all of this as it was happening on stream so this gets progressively less coherent as i grow more sleep deprived. prepare yourselves. i may or may not go off topic at some points
larry vehemently vomiting pure malic acid. we’re off to a great start
what the fuck the soggy ass popcorn in that ranch jesus christ
lindsay in the song from AH the musical. i love her so much
jeremy going YAAAAAAY after someone eats a cursed oreo
matt getting AGGRESSIVELY kissed by larry
“this kiss this kiss” before geoff and jack kiss
geoff “i’m from alabama” ramsey
THIS FUCKING RANCH SEGMENT HAS ME GAGGING
jeremy “the alcohol demon the whiskey goblin” dooley
alfredo “you wont believe what the white people did today” diaz
DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS GET THAT DICK ESSENCE
wait why does it sound like wonderwall
they look like characters from the matrix
the speaking parts. make my teeth hurt
in conclusion: they weren’t kidding abt the tight pants 
okay everyone get ready for eric soundboard spamming YEAH BABEY
“hi i’m from broadcast and i don’t want to be here” they represent themselves well
also, let’s take a second to appreciate broadcast here!! they have a really tough job and don’t get a ton of credit. lots of love to all of broadcast!!! you guys are awesome
i am: foreseeing problems with this eric sound board
which one is eric?? will the real eric please stand up?? was the real eric the one we found along the way??
“i’m... just really worried that i won’t ever find love-” “i really don’t care”
WHY DO THEY HAVE THAT ON THE SOUNDBOARD (what does that apply to? whatever it is you’re thinking of, but mostly “daddy wants some”)
ooh someone’s about to get a fReE tongue piercing from a pineapple
god dammit i went to the bathroom for thirty seconds and now they’re eating chad’s chest hair
owie the shock collar and belly slap look painful, but drinking natty light from a shoe? that’s a true punishment
“and this roast was brought to you by meundies”
ah yes what better way is there to end a segment than people throwing up
“man action” oh no
THROBERT MULVEINY
K A R B is blind in T W O of her eyes
“my last name is cottagecheese”
I HAVE A PIECE OF METAL SHOVED UP MY A S S 
chris has somehow managed to lose 23 years of age and roughly 412 pounds
“just open throat like baby bird” who the fuck is writing this and why is it jeremy
jon. jon you’re breathing in adam’s ass fumes
a summary of this segment: ass and cottage cheese
BARB IS HERE I REPEAT BARB IS HERE
“to fitness” -starts choking-
final fitness coach: tad, here to workout your issues so they can beat you into submission
“will you buy my wet” well i don’t see that on the raffle items
we’re back folks & i’m loving this walk around segment
moonball wall and gavin&michael will soon be reunited can we get an F in the chat
jeremy getting a borderlands tattoo is very on brand
what’s extra life without a little satan
“starvation army, putting lead back into paint, increasing childhood obesity” people in chat: TAKE MY MONEY
chris “i’m doing a different hole” demarais
ah yes. the game we all play in hell: twister
nobody edit chris getting mustard shot down his throat. i’m scarred enough from the original clip
oh fuck. oh god. the mayo. oh god what the fuck is up with the misuse of condiments this year
this just in: a human soul costs roughly $12,700
D̷̯͑̆̈́͝Õ̸̲͎̥̬͈̬̙͕̲G̸̢̧̠͉͚̙̲̙̓̔̀̇S̷̥̀́͆̈́̇̀ ̶̣̞̗͚̬̭̖̦͇̈́̎̈́̿̓̈́͆̒̋D̷̙̟̩̫͉̺̐̊̚Ö̶̥́̋́̓ͅĜ̵̞̌͋̏̉̌̕͝͝S̵̤̹̣̫̮̻͛̍̑̕͝͝ ̷̧̨̞̙̥̟̜͍̉̍̑̏̇̀̾D̴̻̮̩̯͓͉̖͎̘͐̒͋̓̉͝ͅỎ̶̰͓̳̥͑̅͛͊̒͐͊͘̚G̵̩̻̦̥̠̃̔Ş̶̹͚̩̱͖̀͆͘ ̸̢̢͇̻͔̗̺̼͖̱̏̾̔̚D̴̨̨̫̙̃̾̋̾̆̓̓Ớ̷̡͓͎͊G̶̱̣̣̰̝̖̰̗̓͐̐̊͋̀͊̀̕͝Ş̷̩̺̬̖͙̺̟͗̈́͒͗̀̑́́̕͠ ̷̡͈̼̲͈̳̫̺̝̈́̋͌͗̒ͅD̸̨̬̞̪̗̘̄̑͆̿̈́͘͠͝O̸̡̡͇͕̻͎͍͉̅̌͗̄͌̑̉̔͂̎Ḡ̸͙̟̪̞̬̬͕͐̈̏S̶̝̪̼̮̠̜̭̳͖̘̑
urine: to help with aerodynamics
jon: maya, speak! maya: *the smallest arwoo*
today’s mvp: any dog. pick one. no matter which you pick, you’re right
how the fuck did blaine change back from satan so quickly
barb as a cat is... my new sleep paralysis demon
blaine: barbara speak! barbara: climate change is real
#dogsforkids
this just in: extra life killed my wifi
we’re back & kdin is in the business of killing people with spice. she is the spice queen
queue six thousand well-timed 1337 donations
HOLY SHIT THAT’S COLIN FROM WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY
hmm “questionable liquids” is very... questionable
trevor: oh there’s four of them! we all get to join in the Fuckkkk
“what’s your favorite kind of candy” “any meat”
i like pickles and i would rather rip my eyebrows off than drink the juice so i feel for trevor
the only thing worse than drinking apple cider vinegar is shooting it out of your nose
“can you feel the love tonight” “i used to and that’s the problem”
“flubs every word man” damn, really missed the chance to say captain hair
jeremy not being able to intentionally flub his words is so fucking funny
OK BOOMER 
wow i can feel my blood pressure spike just watching these shots
Xavier Woods is here and he wants to know if it’s Christmas
miles doesn’t know what a question is
WHERE’S YOUR HAIR
oh no. oh no helping hands is next. everyone clear a splash zone
CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE
miles bossing around chef mike is priceless
“you leave that fucking dough on the floor”
“you wanna slam your hands down on the table” *pizza sauce goes flying everywhere*
HOEDOWN HOEDOWN HOEDOWN jesus why do i keep doing that
“If Colin Mochrie is listening, I’ll see you here next year” OH FUCK YEAH
--- this is when i take a break so my soul can return to my body (aka i have work to turn in. college will never not be a pain in my ass) ---
oh god dammit i missed all of Always Open. fuck college who needs a medical degree
so... we have some very interesting things happening in family feud and i’m not sure if i like any of them
hmm. is now the time to get drunk
oily twist feels very... ominous
what do you mean you don’t remember gandalf having a taser in lord of the rings?
someone in the chat said “big stupid sleeping thing is what my parents called me in high school”
i think i’m blacking out what’s going on i don’t remember the past two hours
ah yes. voldemort and snape having a talk show together sounds exactly like something J.K. Rowling would make a spinoff book or show or porno of
can we just talk about how much shit chris has been doing this year? what a guy. what a dude
“coldy with voldy” actually means getting knocked the fuck out cold because you only got three hours of sleep last night and you don’t want to miss chef mike and lindsay cooking
this snape poem is summarized by one phrase: “that was terrible sit the fuck down” (sorry chris)
“let’s destroy a weasley” enter chad
fucking called it
“you smell poor” i need a caffeine drip
heh the wheel spins are at 69 heh nice
i’m a grown ass woman
welcome to a section called: we torture chad for your entertainment
“who wants us to kill weasley?” *massive cheers from the audience*
“wait weasley step away from the wideshot so i can masturbate to this later”
“i’m not gonna rub my eye mom”
oh they’re really gonna kill chad on stream huh
i felt that chest slap in my soul
i think i felt my own ribs crack
oh fucking
tumblr deleted my thoughts on the fanfic section
alright. fine. brief summary: my teeth are burning
my mom lindsay is on next and i’m so excited but i’m nearing the point of loopiness so things will go downhill dramatically from here
this is my fucking fourth extra life, you would think i’d be smart enough to sleep the night before
LINDSAY LINDSAY LINDSAY THAT’S MY MOM
JEREMY JEREMY JERE- wait a second... did jeremy get taller
oH CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE
i hope Xavier comes back next year because he’s funny as fuck
m y a t t
oh god the mcdonald’s shade i’m rolling
lindsay “who’s the chef here” jones
chef mike mentioned mayo and i involuntarily gagged
chef mike clowning the big mac. i’m crying
he made the right choice with ryan bc i’ve seen his cooking stream(s) and it’s nothing if not great content
i heARD A MICHAEL JONES
“lindsay you haven’t done anything but warm up cookies so far” “yeah and?? you’re welcome”
you know that classic snack. slightly warm oreos
JEREMY THE LIQUOR GOBLIN DOOLEY IS BACK
oh god him screeching across set is making me cry laughing
why does it remind me of trevor’s voice cracks in the one minecraft ep where they’re singing the lion king
the biggest spoon for the smallest shot glass
i just realized we’re not even halfway through yet and i’m scared for the length of this list i’m gonna end up falling asleep involuntarily at some point
lindsay no your teeth are going to errode from that shot in your mouth
well timed leet donation #1829495
this gorden ramsey bit is so fucking good
jack: what do you think of the arugala? matt: i don’t even know what you said
iT’s NoT jUsT tWo CoOkIeS miCHeAL
jeremy and michael just chillin amidst the choas is exactly my demeanor at any party i’ve ever been to
lindsay scores: ryan = 7 because diet coke, matt = still eating lindsay’s meal so it’s a 10, xavier = also still eating it so it’s an 8. total: 25
“deep fry everything but a remote control”
chef mike scores: ryan = 9 for no death, matt = greens are present, words were said, score is 8. xavier = Gourmet Mcdonald’s, food is edible, score is 8. total: 25
oh fuck it’s a tie
now they fight to the death. death = doing as many shots as possible
i think we’re all going to need liver transplants after tonight
no jesus please don’t vomit oh goD oh fUc k please- oh thank god
okay i’m making a part two this is too much
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