#i am not naturally good at description im better at dialogue and action
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Silent: they have to be really quiet/hold the moan?
Listen. Listen. I didn't expect to get a response. So how about a hefty snippet (read: the first half) from Elliot and his future bf's meetcute I've been working on for months. I know its cheating, but- eepy and I dont wanna write. Plus this took me months and I'm proud of it
The tiles of the single person bathroom were cool against Elliot’s back. Where his strappy crop top and playful half-jacket didn’t cover, his heated skin pressed right up against it. He barely managed a squeak of discomfort before he was crowded further against the wall. His companion’s mouth found his; he wound his arms over broad shoulders as a thigh pressed between his own. A hand gripped his waist. Tugged him closer. The movement made it impossible to not grind down impatiently. Elliot’s next sound was more a whine than anything else.
To his utter embarrassment, the man chuckled at his little whimper. A calloused thumb swiped over his hip bone. When he pulled back to complain the man just switched to nibbling on his jaw. His breath huffed out. Fine. Fine. He wiggled instead. “C’monnnn,” he half-whispered as he was forcefully held still.
Brown eyes twinkled down at him. Then up at him as the man sank to the floor. Those warm, electric hands slid over his skirt and then under.
“Oh, fuck,” Elliot breathed. He couldn’t look away. Didn’t want to.
All he got in response was a raised eyebrow as his lacy boy shorts ended up around his ankles. He refused to be embarrassed by how the sapphire color complimented the embroidery on his miniskirt and jacket. It had seemed a good decision at home, and he wouldn’t allow the dingy light of a bar bathroom make him second guess himself. Even if amusement had tipped the mouth that had been pressed against his moments ago up into a half smile.
“Think you can be quiet?” The whisper was pressed against the strip of skin revealed by his crop top. “I get the feeling you don't want to be interrupted.”
Honestly, this man could have asked him anything in that moment and Elliot would have nodded. There was something about the crinkle around his eyes, the hair slipping from the halfhearted bun to get in his face, that made Elliot’s heart do little flip flops. The hand gripping his thigh slid up teasingly; Elliot bit his lip in an effort to keep quiet.
Another kiss was pressed to his skin, this time to his hip. Finally, finally, fingers closed around him. Despite himself he bucked into the touch with a sharp intake of breath.
“Shh. Be still.” This time there was a scrape of teeth. A question, no real bite yet. Elliot responded with a little twitch. His teeth bit into his lip deeper. It was in vain. A tiny moan escaped anyway at the teasing stroke he got. Those brown eyes flicked up to his. The laughing crinkles got deeper. And then his skirt was pushed further up and the man's mouth was around him. This time he let out a strangled cry, one he quickly muffled with his own hand. Clearly he’d flirted with the right man. The man with his face between Elliot’s legs knew exactly what he was doing. Every flick of his tongue, every long drag down Elliot’s length, every finger dug into his thigh just so, was enough Elliot was trembling. He didn’t even have a name to pant.
A whimper bubbled up faster than Elliot could stifle it. He grabbed at whatever was closest and found himself with a handful of yellow and orange tye dyed hoodie. The man pulled off with a quiet chuckle. “I know you can keep quiet,” he teased. And then he dove back in like he hadn’t been interrupted. The squeak Elliot let out as he took Elliot down to the base was strangled. There was no moving against this guy’s hold, but Elliot couldn’t help twitching anyway. Surely his nails had to hurt, but the man hadn’t flinched.
It took less time than Elliot would have liked to come. The entire time the man between his legs never once looked away. He did, however, brace his hands on Elliot’s hips to keep him from sliding down the wall. There was a gentle reverence in the way he slid Elliot’s lacy boyshorts back up Elliot’s trembling thighs. He pressed another playful kiss to Elliot’s hip as Elliot tried to remember how to breathe. Even after he stood he held on for a few moments longer, as if he didn’t trust Elliot to stay upright in his stilettos.
“You good?” He asked, running a thumb over Elliot’s bottom lip. Elliot nodded mutely. “Good. I’ll be at the bar when you’re ready, okay?”
Elliot nodded again. He watched this stranger, who had just blown his mind, casually grab a smooth black stone off the sink on the way out. As soon as the stone hit his pocket the sounds of the bar came rushing back. Before Elliot could form enough of a thought to splutter at him, he was gone and the door shut again.
Well. Alright then. Elliot leaned on the sink as he let the noises of people having their drunken fun wash over him. His reflection stared back. Blue eyes wide. Makeup still in place only because Elliot didn’t waste time with subpar product. Lips bitten a little raw, and cheeks a hectic pink. His black curls would never dare to think to be frizzy, but they certainly weren’t the perfection he’d walked into this bathroom with.
Too few moments passed before someone knocked with more aggression than necessary on the bathroom door. That was enough Elliot gathered himself. He snagged his purse off the ground where he’d dropped it. The woman impatiently waiting shouldered past him like he wasn’t even there. Rude. Rather than let it ruin his good mood Elliot flounced back towards the bar proper to pay his tab.
#elliot#shhh dont tell c i dropped the whole first half#or do their validation feeds my ego like nothing else#my writing#smut sunday#asks#elliot wanting to be described and wanting his clothes described is gonna be the death of me btw#i am not naturally good at description im better at dialogue and action
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any tips for writing dialogue? i struggle so bad to make it sound authentic and as a result always turn to descriptive imagery instead. (which is fine if im writing something angsty, but not cute and fluffy ya feel?) any tips would be greatly appreciated! ty
The other day in my D&D party, our hedgewitch (who learns his magic through intense study of books and nature) asked our sorcerer (who has innate magic powers and also sometimes just blows shit up on accident) if she could teach him how she cast fireball. Our sorcerer said "you, uh, you know -- " and she waved her hands around " -- you do. The spell."
I am kind of feeling like our sorcerer right now, because dialogue more than anything else about writing is the part that just sorta happens for me, and when I try to articulate how I do it, it is hard to say anything other than "the voices say stuff and I write it down real fast before I can forget."
I will say, because dialogue is often the first thing I am writing in a new scene or a new story, it gets written out in long chunks with very few other words popping up. I might note the emotions a character is having or the way a piece of dialogue is delivered, or jot down what the character is thinking that isn't getting said so I have it for frame of reference later, and I will write down an action that's essential to my understanding of what is happening in the scene, but it's really mostly just the dialogue. I'm not even doing tags or punctuation at this point. Without knowing your process, writing dialogue JUST as dialogue may help you find a flow, which generally results in more natural sounding lines. It's a theory I have, anyway.
The absolute hardest bits of dialogue for me are when I have a chunk of dialogue from the beginning of a scene, and a chunk of dialogue from later in that scene, and I have to connect them, because oh man it's so hard to force dialogue down a specific pathway. The dialogue wants to run rampant! It wants to be free! It doesn't WANT to go over there where the plot needs it to! Generally there's a way that I could stitch up the hole in these scenes in two lines that would take us LOGICALLY from point a to point b, but that just...doesn't sound good, and doesn't feel natural.
Sometimes I just literally can't get there from here, and either the earlier dialogue or the later dialogue needs to go, but usually what works is to just follow the last line I have with, "okay what's something that the character might say in response to that. What's something the other character might say in response to that. Is that line something that would evoke an emotional reaction from this character? Is it something that would make them think of another topic of conversation?" And just keep writing and seeing where the conversation goes until I find a more natural bridge to the later dialogue.
This may be helpful even if you aren't looking for a connection per se, but are just trying to make dialogue happen, or if you know the general beats your scene needs to be hitting but don't have anything laid out. We often know what we want a scene to ACCOMPLISH, in terms of the plot or the character arc or the relationship, and that can sometimes put pressure on the dialogue to address that. Asking yourself when you get stuck "how would he feel about that" or "what would she have to say about that" or "what mood or agenda or thought process is this person having that their conversation partner doesn't know about" can get you unstuck and ground the dialogue in what's natural for your characters.
Maybe the way the conversation goes when you do that is not where you thought it would or where you need it to. That's awesome! I love letting a conversation wander and just see where it goes. I used to watch one of those shows with a giant ensemble and a dozen story lines every week, and I noticed after a while that there would be scenes where a character would walk into a room, say all of the things that were important to the plot, and then leave, without anyone reacting. Obviously that's a pacing problem, they just had too much story to tell and not enough time, but it was SO WEIRD. And it was boring. The little moments in a conversation where the characters are talking about something "unimportant" are the best moments, I love those! So if you're worried your dialogue is getting off point, maybe follow it, it might lead you to a really authentic moment.
Obviously, don't just have your characters talk for five minutes about, like, the latest Marvel movie, just for the sake of saying something off topic. But this is a really good way of incorporating other elements from your story. Is there something that's thematically relevant to the story even if it doesn't have anything to do with the plot? Is there a side character who's not in this scene that your characters might be worried about, or annoyed with, or making fun of? Is there something that exists in the space because you created it with your descriptive imagery, and now that it exists the characters might comment on it or be affected by it? Is there something that happened earlier in the story that has been dealt with on a plot level but that your characters might still be having some residual emotions about?
I do realize that this tip for writing dialogue basically turned into "write more dialogue," but maybe in and of itself that would help! Practice makes perfect?
I will say, keep each character’s turn with the talking stick SHORT. Speeches rarely sound authentic. You want back and forth. Short lines are good. Short sentences within lines are good, too, although I fully admit to having a weakness for stupidly long sentences. But dialogue lets you bend the rules, go ahead and break out the sentence fragments.
Dialogue also sounds better if it has a chance to breathe; this is something I do actively work at, because it's the part of dialogue that isn't dialogue. If one character says something kind of heavy, or something unexpected, or something that puts a pin on the current topic of conversation, there's probably going to be a beat before anyone else says anything. Sometimes the character needs to take a beat FOR THEMSELVES before they continue with the thing they were saying! Screenwriters have it so fucking easy here, man, because they just get to write (beat) and then the directors get some close ups of actors' faces and the editor cuts that moment to breathe in for them. Prose writers gotta do it for themselves.
For a little beat, sometimes just placing your dialogue tag where you need it to be -- e.g. "he says" before the dialogue instead of after -- can do it. Sometimes you gotta get creative. This is where you can get cliched things like characters constantly raising their eyebrows or shrugging or smirking, which, cliches become cliches for a reason, they work, but you don't want to overdo it. Sometimes it helps to draw on the surroundings and the set up. Put your characters in a setting where things are happening around them, then you can take a beat while you describe one of those things that’s happening. Give the characters an activity to do, and intersperse that action through the dialogue. For the "this is a place that hurts" conversation in it all will fall, fall right into place, I knew I was going to want to have LOTS of beats in that conversation, so I made them go get lunch, and every time Adam wasn't able to say something one of them would eat some pizza or pick up a napkin. I am not a very visual thinker and I write all my dialogue first, so I have to find ways to fill these beats after the fact, and sometimes I struggle with it. This might be something that you can do a great job with, if descriptions and imagery are happening in your head anyway! Put them to work!
The flip side of "keep it short" and "let the dialogue breathe" is don't write superfluous lines. Look for places that you can condense. If you have a conversation where one character isn't really saying anything of substance, but is just kind of interjecting questions like a sidekick asking the late night host "no, I don't know, who was it?" that's probably a place you can crunch your back-and-forth down into one (not too long) line delivery.
Also, seriously, if descriptive imagery is what's easy for you, lean into it! You can totally write fluff that is more narration-heavy than dialogue-heavy, for one thing. But beyond that, is there a reason that descriptions are easier for you to write? Are there tools you use in that writing that you can apply to dialogue? If you're a visual thinker, can you use that to visualize where the characters are to help get in their heads? If you like finding fun little turns of phrase for your description, oh man, puts some fun turns of phrase in that dialogue. I think dialogue can seem like a completely different thing from narration, but at the end of the day, they're both writing. If you can do the one I absolutely have faith you can find a way to do the other. Good luck!
#writing#eyescllsed#as always NO idea if any of this is helpful so I just threw a LOT of spaghetti at that wall#hey at least this time I didn't recommend improv classes#(....take some improv classes)
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issue #23 made me really heccin’ emo over eggman and sonic. i was prepared for it, but also ?? not prepared??? holy frick im just gonna ramble under the cut.
first of all, i’m just gonna’ idly ramble about some things i noticed.
Eggman, literally 11 issues ago:
he makes these off remarks and then changes his mind whenever it’s convenient for him smh. that or hes a freaking liar and. WELL THAT’S PRETTY TRUE HONESTLY.
i’ma be honest fam starline is a freaking mood rn. it’s ?? so dumb?? LIKE EGGMAN WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING FAILSAFE UR SOLUTION WAS “not touching the robots hurr durr” PL EASE.
In retrospect, though, this is an interesting parallel to Forces because he’d apparently learned from his mistakes. TBF, and it has been brought up elsewhere on tumblr, this is a man recovering from amnesia. He must’ve just not gotten to that part. OR HE’S JUST. DUMB AND ARROGANT. Like, yeah, sure, there’s no vaccine - lol the heroes can’t fix anything & it also means you’re valuable because you’re the one person who can. BUT COME ON EGGMAN.
my friend actually predicted this holy shit. i was rambling abt a discussion we had in the egg cult, where we were talking about the possibility of sonic infecting eggman to blackmail him into getting the cure because he’s reached the point?? hes so done with eggman’s shit??? all his friends are in danger and hes backed into a wall what else is he to do than do the one thing he doesn’t want to: use eggman’s tactics against him?
and my friend was like:
LIKE. IT IS A HUGE RISK, and Sonic went FOR IT. I’M SCREAMING TBH.
THIS CONFRONTATION WAS SO FUCKING RAW YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. I thought I was ready for it but I really, REALLY wasn’t. I love the little details of Starline bein’ like: “oh fuck” - usually he’s pretty cocky around Sonic but uh. HE’S INFECTED NOW. And the zero remark - idk if that’s intentional on the writer’s part but ZERO TO HERO anyone?
anyway toxi broke down crying at this point. you have no idea how much i was sobbing over my blue son just. pouring out his heart to his nemesis. that’s top tier tearjerking material. also starline passive aggressively readjusting his outfit lmfao. BITCH IM FABULOUS. but man the usage of ‘ BE’ and ‘LIKE’ - Sonic knows who Eggman is; he’d never ask him to be something he’s not. but it’s also a reiteration of sonic’s want to see good in him; being LIKE tinker is a statement in that he wanted eggman to be who he was, but NOT to go back. to do good for the world. have it be his own decision, because deep deep down:
isn’t that what he really wants?
Also, although there are those sickly sweet descriptions, the usage of ellipses in this narrative really fucks me up because you can practially hear the gradual realization in eggman’s voice. his mockery starts out so !!! but it just eventually gets straight to the point, as a list. as a routine. because he was used to it. and because, some part of him misses it. notice the usage of ‘need’ and ‘use’. they needed him, and yet he used the people that appreciated him sm like puppets.
some nice guilt there, huh, doc?
ALSO I SPENT LIKE, HOURS TRYING TO FIND THIS EXACT DIALOGUE, but Eggman has a conversation in Dark Brotherhood with Sonic and makes this remark:
LIKE??? this isn’t new to his character, actually? Ignoring the ken penders thing bc smh. Going by this game he’s actually kind of okay with that set up. And he just works so well with the others too??? this isn’t even taking into account the other games he’s teamed up with them. I’m sorry but my head just goes back to this line so many times; it’s one of the ones that stick with me, along with ‘complicated guy’ from lost world. HE COULD!! legitimately do good. and he actually doesn’t find it too bad??? IM EMO MAN...
and IMAGINE making super cool things that people genuinely like... eggman has a HUGE ego, that much is very apparent; he’s super big on appreciation as comes with. and with tinker? he had that - he felt appreciated and loved. people LIKED what he made, and he didn’t have to bend over backwards to have that. his work felt included and he didn’t have to take that appreciation by force like he did with his lackeys (which half the time was fake anyway) .
first and foremost - WE SEE THAT OPEN YOUR HEART REFERENCE, IDW. also sonic’s frustration here, in comparison to the lil smile the panel before - he’s just!! “WHY CANT YOU WAKE THE FRICK UP OLD MAN”. the justification here seems a tad bit like DENIAL to me. and the justification seems... kind of odd from him? since when does EGGMAN justify anything he does? He does what he wants and when he wants, because he’s the E.G.G.M.A.N. he doesn’t care what anyone thinks... right?
it’s because - especially with the usage of better - he didn’t like where that train of thought was going. for once, he’s justifying himself - because the alternative is admitting sonic is right. that he did like that life. that he’d want to go back. throw it in a hierachy and it’s all so simple, right?
also the inclusion of open your heart lyrics here. the incident with chaos was just as catastrophic. and these lyrics in context of the previous panel, highlights how sonic and eggman both seek unity and peace but in their own ways; eggman’s is just evil. it seems a little bit of a diversion to me - to antagonise sonic and make him forget about it. what better way to do that than to relate to him? ‘own styles that we won’t change’ highlights a stubbornness in ways, too, especially with the current context of eggman denying his old life. ALSO IT IS LITERALLY TELLING EGGMAN TO OPEN HIS HEART.
and ngl this seems like idle banter to hide the fact he genuinely felt remorse for his actions for a second. because lbr he has a habit of being all talk when a plan goes wrong or suffering inside,
which starline does quite pointedly explain.
As I was saying above, Sonic has no choice in what to do now - he’s reaching his limit. OR ELSE. hes pondering doing the thing he doesnt want to do. and honestly, ‘you can’t stop me. no one can,’ is so hardhitting not just because of its looming threat, but because of how much it solidifies for sonic that he can’t take the chance anymore. if anyone is going to change eggman, it has to be himself.
also can i just cry over how much sonic trusts tails. im getting sa2 flashbacks.
also man i’d like to point out the specific use of ‘lock you away forever’. it coooould be a reference to sonic’s time imprisoned during the events of sonic forces. bitterness?
NOT SAYING I CALLED IT, BUT I CALLED IT. it still hurts though. and wow, it really is horrifying when eggman fears his own heccin’ creation, huh?
i live for sonic being passive aggressive with eggman. give me more please.
im immensely concerned the direction starline is going, honestly. but it does say a lot about eggman; how he’ll keep trying the same things expecting different results, but failing and never seeing that. because he’s EGGMAN; every plan is brilliant by default!
i love how sonic just !!! SHOT... THE MOMENT HE WAS REMINDED WHAT WAS AT STAKE. son i love you so much you’re doing great sweetie
also, man, can we talk about eggman avoiding his blatant faults, and shoving his failures onto someone else? because this little scene here - eggman ur literally the one who crashed the thing. it had absolutely nothing to do with sonic. i feel as though this is symbolism of his self-destructive nature, honestly. hes always gotta make things harder for himself. (also starline’s face is killing me)
Eggman does what he has to, but technology won’t work every time you kick it. he thinks he can get everything through force but we have several instances in idw where force did NOT work out; you’re not gonna get far, egghead.
MHM, and just who does that sound like, Eggman? honestly the mirrors between these two are seriously destroying me. although sonic is in a horrible position, so is eggman; he likes to think he’s won the war, but hes surpassed his own expectations, and that’s going to backfire on him eventually. hes stubborn to admit he has NO REIGN over this and they’re all doomed, so he’s pinning his failures / loss on Sonic.
is that the amnesia kicking ya in the shin, eggman? or sonic’s reality check? either way, the doc hates emotions. dammit man why you gotta make him emo
future eggman is going to kick past eggman in the kneecaps. it’s times like this ur reminded how much of a kid he is. eugh but that’s work i want my victory and senseless destruction now. honestly if the doc is after success, he is certainly not getting it this way and I AM FEARING FOR EVERYONE’S LIVES. he’ll probably have to work with what’s left of the resistance like the back end of most games at some point.
I’m getting a little burnt out but i can’t forget my son and how much he hurts me.
first of all that third panel terrifies me. the fact it GOT that far does me great concern. the RED EYES? that’s pushing it fam i dont like that. the expressions are also just freaking destroying me; they’ve been PERFECT this issue. and the fact sonic is at his weakest when he feels like he’s failed everyone hurts me deeply. he has SO much on his shoulders and its getting too overwhelming for him.
also man... the whole thing with eggman... just stuff me man. but it hurts all the more because it’s so glaringly clear that there is?? some good in eggman??? he just. doesn’t want to admit it. and unfortunately these aren’t good circumstances to debate on that.
ANYWAY, THAT ISSUE WAS AGONY AND IM STILL REELING AND HAVENT EVEN. TALKED ALL THAT MUCH ABOUT SONIC HERE (on account of this being eggman’s blog) but idk if i’ll write anything on that.
gonna go cry about an egg now brb
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why you should play the ds version of 999 first and not the nonary games version: a thread
excuse the formatting of this bc im copying it from my twitter as text, but: why you shouldn’t play the nona/ry games version of 999 on your first run, a thread. lots of this has been said by other people too but i figured i would condense my opinions + what other people have said. 999 spoilers ofc, also vague vlr spoilers later on but the 999 spoilers are a lot worse lmao.
this is ABSURDLY long and i am sorry but tl;dr spoiler free version: buy tng anyway so you can easily play vlr in hd and to support the games, but play 999 on either a ds or an emulator if you have to because boy howdy the story is really meant for this platform (if you’re replaying 999 in the tng version after originally playing the ds version none of this applies LMAO)
(also this isn't meant to at ALL be angry at people who played the t/ng port first! im sad y'all didn't get to experience the dual screen version, but at this point t/ng is much more accessible and a lot of people don't even KNOW about the ds-original thing, so it's not your fault!! like i WISH to god that they had ported it in some dual-screen/two-screen way, but the fact that they didn't isn't anyone's fault. ok end this part y'all are so valid i just feel sad that you didnt experience the game in its Best State)
spoilers below the cut
1) the big one: the implementation of the dual screen thing. they were always going to have a hard time implementing this on not-a-3ds, but i'll start with the non-spoilery part: action mode...is bad. the fact that they force you into it. is bad. novel mode is more passable but the fact that they default you into a mode with nearly 95% dialogue-only, in a visual novel, is..pretty gross, and the fact that they force-switch you into novel mode sometimes anyway is. maybe an indication that having a 95% dialogue route in a visual novel...wasnt good
they EASILY could have done a split-screen mode instead, and while that wouldn't have been ideal either, it would still have allowed for the incorporation of both screens simultaneously without having to make compromises
also, petty spoiler thing, but some of the dialogue rewrites to make action mode flow better took out one of my fave pieces of foreshadowing. the main example of this is in junpei's flashback thing to getting kidnapped near the beginning of the game. in t/ng, they had him voice the 'huh, did i leave that open?' line, with respect to his window being open because, you know, zero 'bout to kidnap him. in the original, this is /not/ on the top screen (i.e. voiced by junpei) - it's on the bottom screen. without quotes, i.e. it's not something he's thinking but it's there, in the same formatting as the rest of the descriptions. in other words.....zero is the one saying 'huh, did i leave that open?' in real time, foreshadowing the dual screen twist. this is SO minor in comparison to everything else for SURE but the fact that this got left out still makes me so sad bc i LOVED it. anyway.
(also the fact that the narrative mode twist of all the random gore descriptions being food-like makes WAY more sense in retrospect with the dual screens, because of course a fucking 12 year old wouldn't know how else to describe gore lmao. this is kind of lost in t/ng because it makes it out to be more of something that jun/pei is thinking but i digress. dual screen for dual protagonists good thanks)
2) (YES IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO GET HERE. SH) the final puzzle.....in t/ng....fucking sucks. not only because the puzzle itself sucks, which uh...it does (PASSWORD IS THE PASSWORD?? FUCKING REALLY??). but a) it loses the theme-ing of the sudoku itself since, yknow. 9s everywhere but,
b) more importantly, it just...doesn't have the same punch to it. even ignoring the fact that the sudden upside-down-ness is one of the best ways i've ever seen a puzzle suddenly hit you with a plot twist/a revelation, in this case the 'oh shit, we were solving puzzles from akane's viewpoint the whole time and /only now/ are we truly doing it with junpei being the input source' is just. fucking masterful. explaining this is so hard but i promise it makes sense. like obviously the twist w the dual perspectives thing is revealed right before but the fact that they suddenly (literally) flip the entire game on its head is just. *chef kiss* so good.
also, adding to this, c) the fact that the tn/g version took out the fact that you were seeing baby!kane's face while you were doing the sudoku just adds to the emotional impact of the puzzle. like, in that moment, the puzzle itself isn't the relevant factor, it's the fact that you're doing the puzzle to save her. i no joke started fucking CRYING irl when that happened bc of how hard that hit me emotionally and the fact that they didn't even have something to mimic that in t/ng makes me so goddamn sad. it's not about the puzzle, its about Saving someone via the puzzle, and they just...removed that part. h
(also another dual screen thing here bc i forgot to add it earlier: the constant perspective-swapping thing during the true end feels much less awkward on the ds since you can just naturally shift your eyes between the screens. again, minor, and there probably was never going to be a great way to implement this with a single screen regardless, but it really does flow so much better with two screens. 3ds port of tn/g when)
3) finally, a more Controversial Opinion, but the timeline flow, while absolutely great for replays, kind of ends up spoiling you on the fact that there are multiple timelines that you have to search through for the truth. i wouldn't have minded this so much if the timeline feature in t/ng only unlocked after you hit your first ending, but they didn't do that - they let you look at it from the very start, which really..misses the point of the game.
(minor vl/r spoilers incoming) in vlr, the fact that you know you have multiple branches from the start makes sense, especially both because it's SUPER obvious that there are branching points (door choices, allying/betraying, etc). obviously 99/9 has choices like that too ala the door choices, but you're actively -not- jumping between timelines. that's the point! because junpei CAN'T jump!! he's an esper, sure, though maybe only one by accident/strong emotional connection [thats a whole different thread LMAO], but the whole point is that he can't make timeline choices in the same way that phi and sigma can literally timeline shift.
(end v/lr spoilers here i think) tl;dr the timeline feature is great for replays bc its super anti-frustration but boy howdy they did not implement it well. final point: the fact that you have to play 999 from the beginning every time you get an end makes sense narratively since akane has to do the same thing - she has to go through the whole route (in junpei's head ofc) over and over, she can't just skip around. again, anti-frustration feature that i'm glad they added, but you still lose something w t/ng this way
like ngl, having to fast forward through things instead of just skipping around is annoying as hell, but akane had to do the same goddamn thing! probably way more than we actually have to do it in the game, tbh. definitely this is me prioritizing certain limitations of the ds hardware as important to the narrative but you really do end up missing out if you can just skip at will
4) very minor thing that isnt actually a plot thing at all but some of the puzzle dialogue is infinitely funnier when you have the ability to see the characters on the top screen talking at the same time you have the puzzle stuff on the bottom screen. this mostly applies to all the stuff with the cards w all the player faces on them in the...cargo room? like it's still funny without it but somehow seeing santa talking about himself on the card when he says 'that's one handsome son-of-a-bitch!' is 500x funnier when you literally see him TALKING about himself
JESUS FUCK THIS IS LONG IM SO SORRY IF YOURE ON MOBILE
#zero escape#am i tagging this? yeah. it needs to be said lmao#999#9 hours 9 persons 9 doors#nine hours nine persons nine doors#ok to rb#long post#(i mean i put it under a cut but. jic)
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But serious question, do you have writing tips? Because I finally tried to write something yesterday but I don’t know how to go about the story. I don’t know if I’m making the characters sound human. It’s just such a mess gkdngd
Ah goood, i dont even feel qualified to give any sort of advice cause i dont think im any good lmao
but when it comes to the characters sounding human and realistic i just take inspiration from real life, like people around me, myself, or things that im attracted to, for example, in my fics even is the person that im attracted to, so some of his actions (smoking, being cocky) are just traits that i personally find attractive and these are the things that would make me look at him and go ‘holy fuck yes sir pls wow’, just like isak has some of my traits or to be more specific, i just took the traits canon isak had and amplified them. isak is shy?? ok in my fic he blushes all the time, and stutters sometimes. isak being confident?? ok here’s isak wearing tiny ass shorts in front of even, bending over in front of him and swaying his hips. isak is stubborn?? ok in my fic he will refuse to admit he’s slept with even purely cause he doesnt want to tell the guys that they were right and he thinks even is hot as fuck. so for fanfiction specifically, i just observe and analyse the actual characters, take their traits and either minimise them or amplify them depending on what the fic is like and what i want the characters to be like.
or sometimes even other sources of media such as shows and movies etc. i try to imagine every single interaction, every single thought the characters have-- which is why sometimes some characters can be self inserts, cause i just kept thinkiing like ‘what would i say, what would i find funny, what would i do??’ but just try to imagine witnessing that interaction, or imagine if you were watching it in a film, does it look and feel real? if not, read it again and try to pinpoint what exactly doesnt feel natural in the scene. is it the dialogue, the description or something else?
aaand going about the story... listen i genuinely dont plan everything out, i know which direction i want the story to go in, but i dont have all the chapters planned out, only like the big events or the plot points, everything in between i come up as i write it.
personally, im a much better editor than i am an actual writer, so i tend to just write everything out with as many stupid shitty words, as many mistakes or as many repeated words as i want, i do that first to know where i want the chapter to go, cause for me that’s the hardest part over and done with, i know what i want it to be like, and then i just go through it, i edit everything, i search for synonyms so that i dont repeat words (although i still do that) and i try to make everything coherent
writing takes a lot of practice, personally i feel like im already a bit better than i was when i first started and this wasn’t even that long ago. but like i still read some things that i wrote at the start and go ‘oof ok that could’ve been a lot better’, but it doesnt matter. it’s fanfiction, it’s fun, if you enjoy writing then have at it, figure out what tropes and hc’s you like, write the characters whichever way you want even if they’re completely different from what they were like in the original material. it doesn’t matter, writing is meant to be fun and entertaining, so as long as you’re happy doing it, it doesn’t matter if it’s perfect. because honestly, it probably wont be perfect at first, but if you had fun writing it then it doesnt matter at all.
if you want some actual good advice on writing, i used to watch Jenna Moreci a lot, like all the time, so you can check her out if you’d like, and the @ao3commentoftheday blog tends to have some really really good advice!
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all of the questions
If you had to change your character’s FC for one day, who would you pick?hmmm. Shannyn Sossamon, Alicia Vikander. There has to be a cute factor.
The rest of the questions are under the cut
What drew you to rping this character?In all my gaming, whether tabletop RPs or PC RPGs, I’ve almost played a female archer/sniper type character. For whatever reason, I’m drawn to this woman who can throw a punch, survive in the woods, and take someone out with a headshot before they even know she’s there.
What’s something you like about how you write?I enjoy writing dialogue and that’s where I find I’m able to express my characters the best.
What’s something you dislike about how you write or wish you were better at?I need to work on narrative voice and descriptions of actions, places, etc. I’ve never had ‘flowery’ type writing and so these visual details sometimes escape me.
What’s something about your character that you’d like if you had to spend time with them?Meryll’s willingness to be open to new experiences and new people, and how she chooses love first, rather than judgement or suspicion.
What’s something about your character that you wouldn’t like if you had to spend time with them?Her impulsive nature would drive me nuts. And she does so many things are that aren’t safe lol
What’s a negative thing about your character that you enjoy writing?Meryll has the worst taste in men. She isn’t interested in anyone who is even remotely appropriate for her. This leads to so many odd pairings and comical events.
What;s a similarly you have with your character?probably the tall cutesy brunette part
What’s a difference you have with your character?Meryll is far quicker to open up to new people than I am. I tend to be more standoffish when I first meet someone but Meryll is all in right from hello.
What’s the hardest thing for you to write?as mentioned above – imagery in narrative.
Do you think you’ve gotten better at writing anything or any type of thing or situation since you started writing this character (or roleplaying in general)? I think I’ve gotten better at jumping into the minds of different characters. My two mains - Tywin and Meryll - are on the opposite side of the spectrum from each other, and I find switching between them to be easier all the time
Why do you roleplay?I’ve always enjoyed writing, making up stories, but it has been such a solitary activity. The idea of creating stories and worlds with other people is amazing. i love it.
Do you write fiction ever other than rping?I started writing a fantasy novel many many years ago but put it aside. A couple years ago, I discovered GoT fanfics and that got my writing bug going again.
Do you like fanfiction more or less than rp threads between characters?Depends – sometimes I want complete control over a scene and don’t feel like dealing with other people, so that is a great time to work on fanfics. When i get writers block in my fics, I find RP helps get things flowing again. RP demands a greater flexibility - always being ready to react to whatever your writing partner throws at you, different timelines, different genres, or characters you never even imagined your own character meeting. It is definitely great for creativity.For reading purposes, i would rather read a fanfic over someone else;s RP threads, just for continuity of style and flow.
Do you like or dislike OC/Canon character interactions in principle?i love it. as long as the characters are well written and the chemistry is there, i’m all for it.
What’s your favorite thing about rping a canon character?having so much lore available at my fingertips. The ASOIAF community is incredibly dorky and the lore resources out there are absolutely amazing. sometimes i spend more time researching a thread than i do writing it.
What’s something you dislike about rping a canon character?having to explain/rationalize some of GRRM’s weird decisions, and having to deal with other people’s ideas about a character
What’s your favorite thing about rping an original character?Not having to deal with other people’s predetermined notions of the character. When I write canon characters i worry that they come across too HC-heavy and that others will think I’m not IC enough. I never have that problem with Meryll :). Although there are, of course, predetermined notions of her House, but that’s fun to deal to with.
What’s something you dislike about rping an original character?the struggle of getting other people to write with me. i get it though, i have canon characters and sometimes i just can’t get my head around how they will interact with a certain OC.
How much time do you spend roleplaying on average a week?comes and goes in spurts. right now i’m spending a lot of time writing but that comes after a couple weeks of very spotty activity.
Do you think about your threads and your character when you aren’t roleplaying? How and for how long on average?yes .. i come up with weird ideas all the time. not sure how much time is spent doing this..
Do you like lots of headcanons or few?i love hearing other people’s headcanons about their own characters and mine as well. it helps to come up with ideas for threads. really, the more information, the better
What’s your take on AUs?i used to write a lot of modern AU but lately i’m into canon timeline. I’m game to try writing most things, but my focus depends on what is currently inspiring me
What’s your favorite AU?the one where Meryll exists.. ?
What’s your least favorite AU?not sure
What’s a ship you really like rping?Meryll/heartbreak
What’s a ship you would never rp? For what reason? Hmm.. there’s not much I would be completely against shipping. That being said, I would never push a ship that my writing partner wasn’t comfortable with. I do ship some unconventional (problematic?) pairings, so I’m careful to have a frank talk with potential writing partners before delving in.
What do you like about roleplaying angst?all the FEELS
What do you dislike about roleplaying angst?sometimes if it stays dark for too long, you almost get immune to the pain. i like a nice mix of angst and fluff.
What do you like about roleplaying fluff?everything is so sunny and unicorny
What do you dislike about roleplaying fluff?lack of tension and plot development at times
What do you like about roleplaying ships/romance?i fucking love ships. I love everything about them.
What do you dislike about roleplaying ships/romance?Meryll tends to be unsuccessful in ships. that’s probably the mun’s fault hahahaha
NSFW rp — yes or no? Why?sure, as long as both writers are comfortable and of age.
Do you ever read other people’s NSFW rp threads? (be honest!)of course. who hasn’t?
Do you ever read rp threads you aren’t involved in? What type of thread does it usually have to be to interest you?I love good writing, so I’ll read anything - angst, smut, fluff, etc - if it’s well-written. I recently read some awesome Star Wars threads which made me get into the movie franchise again when it was something i hadn’t been interested in for quite some time. Right now I’m creeping on the HP fandom – some cool stuff going on there too.
If you do read threads you aren’t in, do you usually let the other authors know, or keep it under your hat?I’ll usually let them know that I’m enjoying their thread through a like, reply, dash commentary or IM.
Has a roleplayer ever changed your view on a character? If so, how? Good or bad? For better or for worse?@snowingwillow – Ilyn Payne. Ummmmm I don’t know if it’s good or bad but I have so many feels for Ilyn. He’s still a horrible being though. So damn the mun for making me care.
Do you like to title threads or not? not really but i like it when other people do
Do you like to plot or improv?for long threads (multi-para), i like at least a little bit of plotting. i like to improv one-liners
Do you like to make open starters?yes but I usually get overwhelmed by the replies
Do you like to answer open starters?only if it inspires me
Do you usually prefer chat/short replies, or long/para/novella replies?I like a nice mix of both. Sometimes I’m in a witty mood and like to send off a bunch of one-liners. But when I have interesting plots in my head, i like to spend the time on longer replies.
What’s your favorite thing about rping a chat/short style thread?this is usually where the humour happens.
What’s your least favorite thing about rping a chat/short style thread?I quite appreciate one-liner threads and they definitely have their place on my dash, but it can be frustrating when one is really awesome and you want to turn it into a novella-like thread and aren’t sure if the other person will appreciate it.
What’s your favorite thing about rping a long/para/novella style thread?lots of room to explore characters inner thoughts and motives
What’s your least favorite thing about rping a long/para/novella style thread?these are harder for me to write and usually sit in my drafts for a long time, even though I really do enjoy working on them
Do you prefer gifs or icons when roleplaying? Or no FC at all?I prefer icons, but gifs can be useful too, especially for humour. I don’t mind if writers don’t use FC’s though. sometimes there just isn’t a FC available to do the character justice.
Do you roleplay with people whose characters aren’t from the same dimentional universe as yours? (For example, if your character is drawn or anime, will you RP with people who use actor face claims/play-bys?) Hmmm. Probably not. I think it would be harder for me to visualize interactions in this situation.
What’s something you like about FCs/Play-Bys?It’s nice to be able to put a face on a character, and also fun to do image hunting to make the perfect icons.
What’s something you dislike about FCs/Play-Bys?There’s always those situations where you associate a certain face with something and then that carries over into your perspective of the character using that FC
What’s a trope or plot you think is overdone in roleplay?pregnancy
What’s a trope or plot you’ll never get sick of roleplaying?arranged marriages, fake marriages
What’s a trope or plot you love but you’ve never gotten to roleplay or never gotten to roleplay in completion? may-december romanceDoes any plot ever make it to completion? Hasn’t happened for me yet…. which is fine. write as inspiration hits.
What do you like to do as you reply to threads? Listen to music? Have TV on? Complete silence? Dark room? etc. silence or a playlist that fits that character
How did you learn about roleplaying? How did you get started roleplaying yourself? I had seen RP on message boards in the past but it never interested me. I joined tumblr when i got into fanfiction and was super intrigued by the RP threads.
What was your first roleplay character? Meryll!
What’s your newest roleplay character?Tywin
What/Who is a character you think you would like to roleplay? What’s currently stopping you from roleplaying them?Arya. There are so many already who do a great job, so I don’t feel a need to throw my hat in the ring
Who’s a roleplayer (or writer) you think you have learned a lot from? @yngwolfrobbthey are one of the most welcoming, easy to talk to muns ever, plus a good writer. my first interactions in this fandom were with yngwolfrobb and it was such a positive experience that i always try to offer the same warrm welcome to new RPers.
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1, 4, and 10 for the writer memee
1. Are there particular things that hate-spire you to keep going, as in you look at them and think grimly “if THAT can get an audience than so can I”? For instance: Two and a Half Men had twelve seasons.
Hum, wow... so many things ?? I’m honestly fueled by so much rage ?? SO MUCH RAGE ??? Y’all have no idea how much of an offended little ball of anger I am... But basically every fsog novel, every twilight novel, every chevalier d’emeraude novel (which is a quebec thing but its terribly badly written), the himym finale which literally took a dump on 9 years of character development, all 1000000 seasons of the big bang theory, age of ultron, the dr strange movie, 20 000 leagues under the sea (I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT BUT FUCK THIS BOOK AND FUCK FISH CLASSIFICATION), the les mis movie (im sorry but why did this have that kind of fandom on tumblr it’s terrible?????), the gay sports book with the made-up sport that everyone was literally drooling over a few years back?????, american remakes of ANY french comedies (this one is super specific but oh my god americans have made so many dumb fucking movies based on amazing french films)...... and I’m gonna stop now because im just getting worked up but pls know I could keep going easily.
4. What’s the longest time you’ve spent trying to write a single scene? What was so hard about it? Fuck that scene.
I’ve actually answered this early this morning so I’m just gonna paste my answer if you don’t mind :
oh god probably the *spoiler alert* old louis/young harry scene in tec!!! i was so fucking worried about it. i wanted it to be PERFECT. i spent ages thinking about it, then ages writing it, then ages worrying about it being good enough. i got crazy emo and cried while writing it…. so like… i wouldn’t say “fuck that scene” because i’m really proud of the result but it was the toughest thing to write.
10. Is there a kind of writing, style, or genre that you’d like to get better at and always think you’re crap at? E.g., dialogue, action, romance…?
Ohhh that’s a really good question! I’d like to be better at writing descriptions in general. It doesn’t really come naturally to me? I think I’ve improved a lot since I started writing fic, but I’d really like to take that further and get to a point where I’m not stuck editing scenes over and over while focusing on description specifically. Which is what I’m doing right now. I’d also like to just.... be better at figuring it out the balance between too much description or too little and where I stand on that within my own writing style. It’s something I’m still working on and I don’t really feel like I’ve nailed yet.
I’d also like to be better at writing fight scenes/action scenes. Now that I’m working on original fiction where fight sequences are going to be quite important, I realise it’s not really a skill I’ve developed a lot while writing fic.
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