just read the new hatchling skin rules and am having Some Type Of Initial Emotional Reaction and am now writing down said Initial Emotional Reaction uncensored as i currently Strongly Feel A Type Of Way and Require Venting. i cannot word this more politely. i do not have the capability to render this rage into polite borderline corporate-speak for the sake of the damn rules that act like anything short of apologizing for being alive to make up for having even the most constructive understanding friendly criticism or even personal mild non-critical dislike of something like a color or a breed is tantamount to personal targeted hatemail. i cannot wait until i cool into calm bitterness later because if i think about this enough to write about it again i will just go right back to being furious and the fact that everyone ielse who's complaining is focusing entirely on the lolita fashion thing and not on in my opinion the far more significant and offensive part is pissing me off even more. extremely angry unedited ranting ahead

fr having it's own "female presenting nipples" moment right now, not that i'm particularly surprised, they've been a prime example of "conservative protestantism in a lefty-language veneer" for a long while now.

"don't adultify" is such a fucking vague and easily selectively interpreted rule, not to mention insulting for a number of reasons,

but putting that part aside the whole idea of "nothing that suggests that the dragon is an adult in a young body" is. look, i'm not exactly fond of the "adult who looks like an anime schoolgirl" trope myself, but i fail to see how in the absolute FUCK having it be canon in-universe that it is both possible and legal for someone to be forced to stay as a child permanently, is somehow LESS creepy than just saying eternal youth dragons have dwarfism. also, fuck you to anyone with dwarfism apparently i guess?

and "no zombie baby dragons" is just stupid. even fucking minecraft has baby zombies, and microsoft has steadily butchered that game into one of the most t for toddler babymode things on earth this side of cocomelon.

and "no scars on hatchlings" so fuck you to any kids with scars too apparently, even though that's way more common than anyone seems to realize. you hear that, kids? if you're under 18 and have scars your very existence is too obscene for public view. 13+ year olds will be irreparably traumatized if they have to know you exist at all! fuck you disabled kids and fuck you amputee kids and fuck you any kids that have suffered anything ever at all for not appearing as a perfect unspoiled image of conservative christian child-doll innocent purity. flight rising staff says your body and existence is inherently too nsfw to even be acknowledged as existing much less visually seen. everyone knows REAL children don't get damaged at all, and if they do then they're too horrifying and defective at their job of Being A Child Properly to exist in public spaces! how dare ugly things that might make us uncomfortable with their existence by contradicting out ideals about aesthetic moral purity be allowed where good respectable normal people can see them!

i don't say any of these words lightly, and i'm very much not the type to go around calling people whatever-ists and in fact find that kind of thing extremely annoying, useless, reductive, and more or less only ever see it used as a blunt cudgel to shame people into line so they don't question you, and have historically found it especially annoying when people pull out the accusations-of-ism card on fr staff over things that are far more likely just completely understandable (if dubiously competent) issues of certain things simply not occurring to someone on code and design level due to lack of sufficient exposure to the idea, and have always been of the belief of giving them the benefit of doubt (even if often that just means i think they either most likely made an understandable mistake that i would likely also make, or, when i'm feeling less kind, that they're simply not particularly competent rather than actively hostile) so understand how much it means coming from me when i say- flight rising staff, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, fuck you, you ableist batch of pricks, so far up your own asses with your performative veneer of vaguely lefty-flavored language that you don't realize how fundamentally extremely conservative all of your actual beliefs underlying them are. for every update you make that i approve of there's another that does twice as much damage as the good update fixed (and i'm starting to wonder if you maybe know what you're doing with that too-always batching the fucked up shit on the tail end of some big thing you know people will be excited about, always hiding these controversial moderation changes under something shiny and new, to the point that now i dread any new good update that genuinely seems a step in the right direction and/or is something we've been wanting for awhile because i'm just constantly expecting the knife hidden behind the footnotes afterwards, the fucking "ban tiktok/gay marriage/strip rights from this population/end net neutrality/whatever/ect" clause stapled onto the end of a bill about something entirely unrelated functionally holding a change people want hostage until they allow the fucked up part through. i've been here most of the site's 10+ years and i've seen this sort of thing happen far, far too often.) and every year the shit that gets pulled on the management and moderation end of things makes me more and more almost glad i've never had an income to spend on this, and the fact that apparently the moderation behind every single other petsite in existence is somehow significantly worse fucking astounds me. the only reason i stay around here is because It's Free Dragon Pictures, because it's literally the only actually good petsite game i've ever played and not gotten sick of within a week or so (and really the only good low-energy game i've ever played in general, which i'm increasingly convinced is in spite of it's management), and because somehow, despite all of this shit, i still genuinely love the game itself, because unfortunately by some accident of creation it seems they apparently stumbled purely by coincidence into making an actually good game idea no one else quite has. and after all the fuckery that gets constantly pulled, i refuse to believe the game being good is anything other than, much like many of the of the incidents i think they're unfairly accused of malice and -ism over, an accident.

Disabled children too obscene to fucking exist. fuck you. good to know half the child population's existence requires a trigger warning to even be allowed to be acknowledged as existing to you. good to know if the heart surgery i had when i was 11 had left any visible external scars i would be considered inherently too obscene to exist to you. good to know if the overhealed and benignly potentially cancerous scar on my back from whatever actually happened when i was a toddler (i don't trust either of my parents to ever be accurate about something like that) was in a more visible spot you would demand i have a trigger warning to post selfies online. good to know if any of the shit that's broken me emotionally left visible physical marks you would think it was good and right for me to be forcibly hidden from good normal people's view and considered too taboo for even the slightest discussion without hiding it with makeup and lies, just so i don't make good, lucky, undamaged, normal people uncomfortable, god fucking forbid. should we hide the gays too, since they also make so many people uncomfy? i imagine it won't be long before disabled adults are too obscene for your polite societytm sensibilities too. i've had the feeling for a long time that amputee and disabled skins were living on borrowed time with your rules, kept technically not explicitly dissalowed where all other forms of injury and ""body horror"" are banned simply out of fear of the backlash it would cause to include them, and well. the doomsday clock on that one just got a little bit closer to midnight, huh?

the only reason i wasn't a (physically, visibly, externally) scarred kid was pure sheer fucking luck. the only reason you weren't a physically scarred kid too is pure sheer fucking luck. the only reason you're not some type of disfigured or ugly or amputated or visibly injured or whatnot is pure sheer fucking luck. you're lucky. nothing more. if having to contend with that fact-the fact of how easily it could have gone a different way and there is nothing they would be able to do about it- makes good normal tm people uncomfortable, then well, get the fuck used to it, other people children very much fucking included don't exist to cater to the aesthetic sensibilities of a lucky perfect few. the only thing that separates you from the damaged ones you find too obscene is a bad day and an unlucky hand. and one day, even if you were lucky enough to escape being damaged when you were young, you and i will both be just like them too.

more festival skin winners slots is good. elemental swords sound fun.

I'm sure I will be normal and chill about these outfits

If you want 2 characters to throw together who have never met may I suggest Csevet and iana?

hold on hold on wait hold up wait a minute wait hold hold on ho—

Csevet was not entirely sure why he was surprised by Iäna Pel-Thenhior. He had met people of much higher influence than this upstart Amaleise composer, even before his precipitous elevation to the position of secretary to the Emperor. He had met people of much greater flamboyancy, too, possessed of much louder voices who baffled and amused him in much the same way. He had met talented artists and could carry a conversation on libretti as well as any musical layman, and had gotten much drunker, much faster with much more scrupulously tailored men.

And so he was not sure what it was, exactly, that surprised him. Or perhaps unsettled was the word.

Pel-Thenhior laughed at some joke of Min Vechin's, his head flung back on his neck, a show of earnest delight, and no, no—there was too much of kinship with Pel-Thenhior for Csevet to label the drifting feeling that had been with him all evening unsettlement. He recognized too much of Pel-Thenhior's manner, too much of the energy coming off of him for anything of that ilk. It was ever so difficult to be wary of a fellow marnis.

"Did you see that horrible little production of Seleno when it toured, the—"

"Oh!" cried Min Vechin, soft hands flying to cover her grinning mouth. "Oh no, yes, yes, with the—"

"The horse!" Their voices played a riotous counterpoint, both of them practically shouting before dissolving into rib-cracking laughter.

Were this a properly formal occasion, rather than a post-performance soirée in the more private of the Court's gardens, Csevet would have left them to it. It helped also that he was slightly soused.

"Was that the one with the tremendous wigs?" Csevet asked, with a gesture meant to encompass girth as well as height.

"The ship wigs!" Pel-Thenhior said—exclaimed, declared, ejactulated. "Yes! Absolutely wretched fucking things!"

"Oh, I hate those," said Min Vechin over the rim of her glass. "Impossible to sing in."

"And absolute murder on the neck," Pel-Thenhior agreed.

"I seem to recall," Csevet said, "that a literal model ship fell out of the soprano's wig mid-duet, and the mid-soprano—Hal... Hmm. Hallelan? Havenan?—"

"Oh no," said Min Vechin, just as Pel-Thenhior said, "Halleïan."

"Mm," Csevet said, sipping at his wine. It was far too sweet, as it had been every other time he had tasted it since switching himself over from the red in the hope of slowing the progression of his drunkenness. He sipped again and applauded himself internally for not grimacing. "Halleïan spent the rest of the scene skittering about, trying to pick up all the pieces of the ship—it broke rather spectacularly on impact—while still carrying her part of the trio right after, and I recall thinking that there was not a chance in the world that she was being paid enough for that."

"We never are," said Min Vechin, far enough into her cups herself that she made a most unbecoming facial expression.

"Please tell me Alffris stepped on a piece," said Pel-Thenhior, naming the vicious excuse for a love interest in the first act of the opera, who was always famously (scandalously) barefoot for the scene that followed. Csevet bit down on a smile.

"No," he said, "but he did accidentally kick a little bit of hull right over the lip of the stage and hit the concertmaster in the eye."

Min Vechin wailed, and Pel-Thenhior roared with a fresh bout of laughter. Csevet had become well-acquainted with the particular pleasure of making his staid, anxious emperor laugh, so he was less effected than he would have once been by the act of reducing such a self-possessed person as Mer Iäna Pel-Thenhior to riotous mirth—but the moment did give him the jolt of clarity he'd been looking for all evening.

Pel-Thenhior laughed, and across the parterre, Othala Celehar's ears lifted. As they had done all evening.

And as Pel-Thenhior sobered—tonally, at least—he shot a golden, glowing glance at the othala in turn. As he had done all evening.

Ah, Csevet thought. So it was not Pel-Thenhior that had surprised Csevet, but whatever that was—subtle enough to be getting on with, but not quite so to have escaped Csevet's finely-tuned buggery barometer. (As Basreiët called it.)

Csevet scanned the small gathering until he found Cala Athmaza, lanky and tragically sober at Maia's back. He lifted a pale eyebrow in query, to which Csevet replied by darting his gaze between Pel-Thenhior and Othala Celehar, and smiled smugly. Cala’s eyes narrowed.

Finally, Csevet’s depressingly unfaltering romanticism had done him a service—there was love even for downtrodden, withholding othalas with uncomfortable callings, and Csevet was about to win ever so much money.

"Now I don't mean to pry," Csevet said, swirling his wine in anticipation of stirring the shit. "But I've heard that opera people tend to have very polarizing views on the works of Mer Mezhaär."

Iäna Pel-Thenhior's howl would have put the Wolves of Anmura to shame.

hello! It's been a while but can I just say thank you?? 💗 jsjsjs ahahaha idk if you remember me but you gave me advice on sharing controversial opinions + when I made my first "analysis" post (if it can be called that), you were literally the first one to like to it. and that was like. seconds after i posted.

anyways just wanted to say thank you and also that you're an inspiration lol ✨

yuhhh I don't follow your main but I see you 👀 and ahaha you being so participative (if that's the right word?) or good at/enjoying debates encouraged me to do the same/be more outspoken in school and say things no one's brought up.

that's all, ya don't have to reply to this, i jus wanted to let you knoww

hello, it’s great to hear from you again!!

[disclaimer, I’m about to go on a rant about general social communication, so I gotta preface all this with When I say “opinion” I mean harmless personal or media-related opinion. Not political stuff.]

Listen. Ok. Listen to me for a quick second. I’m a communications major so I gotta infodump on you real quick.

In communication studies, there’s a concept called the “spiral of silence” theory. It states that people will tend to withhold opinions that they consider “unpopular” out of fear of social ostracism. Because of this, the most popular opinions gain popularity, while unpopular opinions die out and disappear.

This doesn’t mean that there isn’t a sizable amount of people who hold the unpopular opinions, it just means that they aren’t discussed properly. Everyone enters conversations with these secret biases and thoughts, which contribute to their viewpoint.

It would be easier for everyone if people were able to mention their unpopular views right from the start, so we could all be on the same page and understand where people are coming from with their viewpoints. It shouldn’t be taboo to like something others hate, or to dislike something others love.

But there’s nothing to be done about it. It’s a social and psychological principal that most people tend to avoid social ostracism. Key word “most”.

The standard counter for the spiral of silence theory is that there will always be people who, for whatever reason, are immune to it. Either because in that given moment they consider it okay or safe to say what they’re thinking, or because they’re a public figure who trusts their fans will support them no matter what (think of celebrities talking about weird food combinations they enjoy, which an average middle school girl would be mocked and bullied if she were caught eating), or because they have nothing to lose.

In my case it’s the latter— it won’t have any effect on my life if tumblr thinks my opinions suck. I don’t know if I’d have the same confidence to go to an anime conversation and say “heyyyy ya know Dazai? From hit animanga bungo stray dogs? Yeahhhh he’s kinda a jerk isn’t he?” [also that wouldn’t be the time or place to have that conversation, but that’s besides the point]

But regardless. Ya gotta start somewhere. It’s a good skill to have, to be able to break the spiral of silence. It’s very difficult to start, but once you get going with it, it’ll definitely be a great skill to have for life.

I’m so incredibly proud of you for not only finding the courage to post whatever opinions you want (it’s difficult! It’s scary!), but for also being outspoken on your thoughts irl. You may not realize it yet, but chances are some of your classmates agree with your views and are finding both comfort and courage in you being able to articulate them openly.

AGAIN just gotta cover my bases This Isn’t About Politics.

Just to reiterate— hate speech gets you taken out back and shot. By me personally. Slurs and racist stuff gets your house burned down with you still inside it (also by me personally). So if anyone’s out there thinking of reblogging this for your weird racism agenda. Don’t.

world is cold and unforgiving but ray plushie is soft and huggable. clearly i am destined to sleep forever

‼️‼️FRONT BOTTOMS SPOTTED 🗣️🗣️🔈🔈‼️‼️💯💯

billions(tm): it's incredible how we just provide a little snippet of material designed to be "guy we all want to push down the stairs immediately somehow" and through this amazing acting alchemy it becomes gold. electric. magnificent. we can't get enough so we will just keep writing this loser character and the actor will somehow keep bringing the dazzling transmutation through his ability

actor will roland: [is aware autistic people are real]

I wish I could inject pasilyo into my brain so I can have permanent happiness

the thing is about talking to people irl about the old guard is im like. yeah it's a good movie i like it :) which doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of a) it's been over 2 years and i'm still. well. and b) i can directly track a worrying number of major things over the past 2 years back to me deciding hey this looks fun ill make that the next movie night movie on july 25th 2020 completely unaware and then two hours and eight minutes later my brain was completely rewired and that's why i'm like this i think

the most difficult part about group projects is not doing everything yourself

Little Pretty

(SHOW OFF)

Kitty Billy™

is Port a humble guy? yes absolutely. he's also incredibly arrogant and the only reason this trait doesn't get noticed by others more often is because the people around him (cough Toni Francis Arthur etc. cough) manage to be even MORE arrogant

but man do i imagine him as a total Mourinho type lmao his natural accent in english is also the same, don't boo me i'm right

Me listening to the most random, unrelated piece of music: What if this. Was a. Doctor/River song.

Came to a realization earlier today at work that nothing scares Sovann (both in default verse & genpact verse) as much as a kind deity.

I could easily extend that to kind individuals in general, but considering their (insofar) fraught relationship with the divine and those perceived as divine, a kind deity is nothing short of terrifying for them. Cruel gods, impartial gods, distant gods, ambivalent gods, fair gods, quiet gods-- they know how to contend with those well enough. They won't default to violence the way they were taught purely out of spite, but that doesn't mean they won't antagonize. The genuinely kind ones, though, the ones who handle all matters in grace, who prioritize their followers but welcome those not of their faith with open arms regardless, who can look at filth and offer a gentle smile, those are the ones that petrify them to the point of immobility. Especially if that kindness is extended towards them. The fear doesn't creep in. It grips them all at once, it strangles them and fills them with nothing but frigid terror and panic. Because... why? Why, then, did all that have to happen? How are they supposed to contend with knowing kindness did (and does) exist, and yet things ended the way they did for both them and their siblings? Logically, they cannot wrap their head around that such cruel fates weren't deserved. Lowly creatures born of sin and night should be conquered, not cared for. Even if they refuse to accept that's how they were naturally born, that's what they were inevitably molded into. They should claw their way through all the wrong in the world to earn scraps thrown off the table. But they also deserve everything good in the world, don't they? A kind deity only further exacerbates the paradoxical dichotomy that they are stuck in: I am nothing and therefore I deserve everything, I am everything that could have been and therefore deserve nothing.

It also exacerbates their maladaptive responses to what most regard as basic social etiquette/empathy. They were conditioned to revile a world they wanted (and still desperately do want) to love. It makes them want to bite, maim, kill. Ironic, considering it would prove those long-dead false gods right. The only thing that would hold them back from going for the throat in those moments is that fear. What comes after kindness? They don't know. And it's not the unknown they fear, but the prospect of finding out. Naturally curious as they are, there were a great many things that were off-bounds for them-- that was chief among them. And it would be betrayal of the worst kind, wouldn't it, to thrive at the cost of the mercy they gave their siblings with sliced throats?

I know it's a bit of an elementary observation given the types of trauma Sovann holds, but kindness really does scare them. They don't know how to hold it. Especially not from anyone divine or anything touched by divinity. And, well, isn't nearly anything in the world touched by divinity in some way or another?

Tag the people you want to know better meme

Ty @soloorganaas for the tag xoxo

Favorite color: green (aka at least 30% of my personality)

Currently reading: this excellent book called I Fear My Pain Interests You by Stephanie LaCava! i saw her at a talkback at my favorite bookstore and she was absolutely insufferable, but the book is actually really good. so. (totally definitely unrelated: people may say shit about my LA accent but at least i’m not faking a british one! just saying!)

Last song: jansport by chloe lilac (who i just saw in concert last night! how fun)

Last movie: partner and i started watching walk hard: the dewey cox story and literally had to turn it off it was so bad. i almost never turn off movies, i’ll usually see them through til the end even if they suck. but this one was TERRIBLE and honestly quite offensive. -1000/10 would not rec to a friend (or even an enemy)

Currently craving: well i WAS craving the crispy potato taco from tu madre, but i just ate it for lunch. so currently, nothing! (also this taco is LITERALLY the best thing in the world -- they DEEP FRY mashed potatoes and put it in a taco) (yes i am from the american south how could you tell) (deep fry an oreo it will change your life i s2g)

Tea or coffee: tea! i will drink coffee occasionally but i always used to drink tea with my dad, so now it’s just sort of stuck. love a lady grey tea in the morning and a peppermint tea at night! 

Currently working on: my nemesis the angels and demons fic, personal improvement, my cardio endurance

Tags: hi little loves of my life and ppl i would like to know better! @pancakehouse @colgatebluemintygel @queemes @fruity-individual @anemicc-royalty @mxlfoydraco @sweetpeasandlilies @mkaugust (perhaps some of you already were tagged and i did not see your responses -- if so, forgive me! and direct me to more info about you!)

Jason Todd is a Christopher Marlowe (specifically Doctor Faustus) girlie and I stand by that