IT'S REAL LOVE!!!

i may have done a very stupid (very smart, actually) thing and tattooed myself :)

So yes I have OF COURSE read @naffeclipse new fic Apex Polarity and yes, I AM OBSESSED!

So I decided to make a little comic of how I think their "first encounter" might have looked like from Eclipse's perspective.

I can't help but think about how alien and scary we most look to him (especially if there is a history of fasco hunting polar sirens in the past). With all that gear we look like emotionless beings, just observing and uncaring of this ice world. But then when y/n shows up and probably exudes this joy and wonder for his world + shows respect for the creatures and the environment??? Mmh yeah, I can see Eclipse falling for y/n, especially considering how alone he might be...

So yes, that's what I have for today! If you want to read the fic I'll link it right here. I can't recommend it enough, but as always, read the tags so you know what you're getting into! And lastly I also want to @themeeplord beacuse Eclipse's design is basically their design in my style (god I love their design so much, their character/creature designs are the BEST) so all the credit goes to them! Polar!Y/N is my design thou! ;P

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go read the two latest chapters-

YIPPEE!!!

So @banana-zim and @mybrainisbigpoop made a new AU and I have brain worms about it. ✨👉👽👉✨

Alternate creepypasta photo-lookin' version under the cut!!

"WELCOME BACK. IT'S SURPRISING THAT YOU'RE STILL CONSCIOUS, NURSE."

@banana-zim & @mybrainisbigpoop more art made from brain maggots on your AU that I adore

for my maybe four (?) followers who read lokius: here you go

kind of obsessed with "what if" scenarios that are ultimately fruitless because the outcome will probably never change.

can't stop thinking about the conversation the other miracles had about akashi's captaincy right after he was promoted. midorima's fierce belief in his friend's ability to pull the team together. kuroko's concern that it might be too much to take. did they ever talk about it? did akashi ever know midorima thought this highly of him or that kuroko cared so deeply for him? would it have changed anything if he'd known his friends trusted him but also wanted the best for him?

midorima's comment about akashi bringing the team together breaks me, in hindsight and i wonder if it broke midorima's heart too, in a way, when he realised his faith in akashi's capabilities backfired so terribly. that he'd unintentionally ended up abandoning his friend by framing the situation so that everyone relied on akashi without considering he might be able to rely on them too. (it's not mido's fault though, because akashi was already raised to always stand differently and ahead of his peers by his father but i still think the sentiment might have damaged him differently when coming from his friends.) midorima's capacity to focus on performing his personal best because he has fierce trust in his teammates but his initial difficulty warming up to shutoku because he was afraid he'd do it all wrong again? still thinking about that... i don't know... there is something so complicated about everything because midorima had so much faith in akashi, maybe to their own detriment, but it was at the point where nothing anyone could have said would have changed what was already happening. any one of them could have cared or not cared and it wouldn't have mattered because the pivotal moment was akashi's promotion to captain. they were kind of at the point of no return, you know what i mean?

and such early captaincy itself was another burden to shoulder for akashi especially at such an early stage of his formal basketball career where he'd barely begun to explore camaraderie through equal footing with his teammates before being relegated to captain, which inevitably changed the power dynamics again, separating akashi's role from the rest of the team. do you understand, do you understand, am i making sense? i think it can essentially be understood as akashi once again being given responsibilities before he's ready for them, before he's even gotten to enjoy what he's doing the same way his father increasingly enlists him in extracurriculars and enrichment classes at the first sign of competence in one or the other, and akashi's life just becomes a string of one next big thing after the other. he hasn't taken a real breath in a while. how long has he been holding his breath? how long has he been holding up the sky?

the worst part is that it is literally no one's fault except the coach and school administration that insisted on spreading these kids too thin. nijimura wouldn't have felt pressured to step down so soon if he hadn't felt like he had to choose between being a captain or a son, in the first place, which is a messed up choice to be forced to make. the whole situation upsets me because it's always the "trusted adults" in question causing all the problems in the first place.

i think about that scene with nijimura and akashi too much - the "are you uncertain?" "no, i'm worried about you." and i think about it probably more than i should. in a different context it could have been an exchange between akashi and kuroko respectively if kuroko had expressed his concerns sooner. the entire scene felt kind of despondent, too, and not just because of nijimura's news. it didn't feel celebratory at all and i guess that's just a testament to the trend of akashi gaining responsibilities faster than he's capable of shouldering them but having to carry them with grace anyway because there's no other option. because he loves his captain, he loves basketball and he loves this team that believes so absolutely in him that he has to be absolute in his strength as well.

there's just so many ifs but none of those could have changed what was about to happen. idk...

shout out to all my cross eyed lazy eyed bitches out there. I'm talkin esotropia. I'm talkin exotropia. hypo and hyper tropia. amblyopia too. if your eyes opia this post is for you

The psychiatrist sits me down on the therapy sofa and says I'm sorry you have been diagnosed with insane in the membrane, insane in the brain

Why oh why did I agree to go out after working horses for 6 hours

purroblems and solutions

Ok sorry I’m long overdue for a follow up of these tags I left on your post lol. Here goes: In my brain, the role of a cop is a very masculine one. Like obviously there are female cops but whenever they appear in media ( at the ones I’ve seen) they always are very masculine. So with Hayward whole thing about performing the role of a standard cop I think he was also performing masculinity in a very standard way. His whole arc in season 2 has also been about learning who he is outside of that performance so he I think he can also start to experiment with gender and get silly with it. I think that’d be good for him. maybe this only makes sense to me but thank you for the space to expand upon me ideas.

This is paige and Hayward season three. my final message

I just saw this response omg loving where you head is at... gotta get this out on the record before s3e3

Pony club politics are WILD man 🥴🥴🥴

i would love to be doing something productive right now but instead i am thinking about mark winters reptile biology

ihave sommuch lore on this thjng it’s insane!1!1! anywasy ^.^ murder drones oc1!!1!1!!1 becuz th demons in my head brah they r silly they r insane and silly

anyways ! her name thing is SERIAL DESIGNATION X, and if you couldn’t yet tell, she is in fact a titular murder drone. she is utterly insane and she is in fact very special 2 me even though she is the worst

ok the last post i reblogged sent me on a minedai spiral and i wrote a massive textpost i didn't actually finish and watched like 30 mins of cutscenes including the whole finale rooftop stuff [yakuza 3 spoilers to follow] and god WHAT THE FUCK I'm actually crying like multiple consecutive tears over fucking. MINE YOSHITAKA. not that he's not worth it but i Did Not Care That Much when i first saw that scene but after spiralling over his emotions i am apparently DEVASTATED. cannot stress enough that i do not cry very often at all. this is a rare event. but it's just so fucking sad. when you know what's happening and what's going to happen and how mine feels the atmosphere is so fucking miserable and mournful. god. fuck. the way he looks at kiryu when he's like what are you going to do to daigo you bastard. THE GUILT THE HESITATION. HE'S NOT WELL. the love of his LIFE got hurt under his protection and he is NOT HANDLING IT WELL HE'S HANDLING IT SO FUCKING BADLY that he's decided to kill him because he's basically dead and he can't stand waiting for the other shoe to drop. he's losing his mind over this he's actually losing his entire purpose and ideology and he's fucking. gay as hell. and the way he says "oh yeah you know how it was growing up as an orphan. no one trusted or loved me. i had nothing" when, frankly, kiryu DIDNT have it that bad. but he did lose those people, one of whom's death has a striking resemblance to mine's in a minute. idek how i wanna unpack that rn. like he just assumes it's universal and it's not. but if they grew up in the same circumstances who's to say kiryu wouldn't have ended up like him? and when he collapses after the fight and his secretary calls him and he tries to open up to her about the shallow but meaningful (to lonely ass mine) relationship they have and she starts talking about stock exchange bs and he's like kiryu do you ever feel like your world is falling apart around you. he's been worried sick he's been agonizing he almost killed his dead beloved chairman. and the way daigo uses the same gun mine used to shoot at kiryu and was gonna use to kill him to save mine and kiryu. how his first lines are that he's not ready to die yet. how mine cowers and falls to his knees when daigo wakes up. fuckkk dude. and how mine starts all rational and explanatory and calm in tone and when kiryu starts pressing him he starts freaking the fuck out and when daigo wakes up he finally has a mournful tone. him saying he doesn't deserve to live but not admitting he betrayed daigo. he never even told him he loved him, as far as we know. (god the fact that it still manages to be devastating even with richardson's CHOICE acting and daigo's coma trickshot is insane.) and how he tells kiryu he hates those who always try to help others even when that's the trait that drew him to daigo, and when he lets kiryu help him (read: beat a moral into him) he wishes he'd met him sooner, as if the belief that there wasn't only one person who could care about him would have saved him has set in, as if he realizes now that he never accepted help and that's why he was wrong about those do-gooders, and that perhaps he was wrong about them and himself, that it wasn't because they were lying to him or because he was unlikable, but that he did not let them in. because that's literally what's happening. AND I FUCKING. FORGOT DAIGO ASKS KIRYU IF MINE WAS THE TRAITOR AFTER HE WATCHES HIM FUCKING KILL HIMSELF AND KIRYU SAYS NO HE WOULD NEVER BETRAY YOU. HE LIES TO COVER HIS ASS BECAUSE HE UNDERSTANDS HOW BROKEN HE WAS ABOUT THIS AND CANT BEAR TO RUIN HIS IMAGE IN THE EYES OF THE ONE PERSON MINE REALLY CARED ABOUT, REALLY LOVED. FUCKS SAKE.