#i am deeply in love with demoman pyro and spy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

supercasey · 4 years

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Do you have any songs for the TF2 Mercs? Sort've like their theme or just songs when you listen you think of them?

Sorry this took a bit, I needed to find some good songs! I'm such a huge fan of music (I don't really want a career in making it or anything, I just really like it!) So I'm gonna give each character 5 songs each, but seeing as I'm not as in-tune with a few of them… this was a bit hard to put together, but I think I’m fairly happy with the results!

Engineer: Cabinet Man - Lemon Demon : That's Okay - The Hush Sound : Me and Bobby McGee - Janis Joplin : Rooster - Alice in Chains : Old Town Road - Lil Nas X. The first song is a bit out of place, but I like to think Engie is just a lil’ more in love with his work than most folk. Other than that song, I tried choosing a few softer songs as well as country ones, or just ones that reminded me of him. I hope you’ll like them!

Demoman: The Beer - Kimya Dawson : High Hopes - Panic! At The Disco : Gasoline - Halsey : Amsterdam - Imagine Dragons : Hey, Asshole - Watsky. I’m not as knowledgeable of Demo’s lore, but from what I’ve read, I really like him, and I think he could relate with a few more depressing songs, while still wanting to blast some happy tunes! A lot of contrast with these songs, but I think they fit Demo well!

Soldier: Popopo - Steampianist : Burn - Admiral Fallow : The Weight of Us - Sanders Bohlke : The House That Heaven Built - Japandroids : This is War - Thirty Seconds to Mars. A lot of war related songs, as well as just songs about wanting to be greater than you are, even when it’s hard. That’s the sort of vibe I get from Soldier- you know, other than being Feral- and I tried to incorporate those things into this mini playlist!

Medic: Touch-Tone Telephone - Lemon Demon : Control - Halsey : Lent - Autoheart : When You're Evil - Voltaire : Handlebars - Flobot. I like to call Medic’s mini playlist “I’m Feral and I Don’t Care How You Feel About it!” All in all, very dramatic and vicious playlist, but let’s be real, that pretty much sums up Medic as a whole.

Heavy: Kids - MGMT : Idioteque - Radiohead : Zombie - The Cranberries : Your Best American Girl - Mitski : Work Song - Hozier : The Call - Regina Spektor. I struggled a lot with Heavy’s playlist, as I have a bit of trouble trying to get who he is as a character, but at the end of the day, I think he cares deeply for his family and teammates, and would enjoy songs about working hard, trying to fit in, and tragic childhoods.

Pyro: Little Game - Benny : Billions of Eyes - Lady Lamb and the Beekeeper : Edge of Town - Middle Kids : Elevator Operator - Courtney Barnett. Very happy go lucky playlist for the most part, with a pinch of LGBT undertones from the first song. I dunno, I just want Pyro to be happy!

Sniper: Why Am I Like This? - Orla Gartland : Johnny Boy - Twenty One Pilots : Future Me Hates Me - The Beths : Lemon Boy - Cavetown : Fill in the Blank - Car Seat Headrest. Oof ouch, the bushman be depressed and honestly I feel that on an emotional level. Lots of sad songs, but with a hint of Sniper wanting to feel better and work hard!

Spy: Pigeon - Cavetown : Not the Ghost - The Crane Wives : Problems - Mother Mother : When I'm Gone - Eminem : Tarifa - Sharon Van Etten. Now we’re in the big leagues (aka why I made this 5 for each and not just 3); I get the feeling that Spy is rather self-destructive, at least when it comes to forming relationships, and I tried to convey that through my song choices, as well as songs about wanting to be there for someone *cough* his son *cough*.

Scout: Devil Town V3 - Cavetown : peacefall - Purity Ring : Hey, Ma - Bon Iver : Squealing Pigs - Admiral Fallow : Little Lion Man - Mumford & Sons. As usual when answering Scout questions, I project, but hey, I think this time it’s pretty valid! Most of the themes for Scout’s playlist are about growing up, and the unwillingness to, as well as dealing with frustration and homesickness.

BONUS Miss Pauling: Help - Pink Guy : Pristine - Snail Mail : Don't Let's Start - They Might Be Giants : Today Today - Jack Stauber : Girls Like Girls - Hayley Kiyoko. Gay rights (I think it’s canon that she’s a lesbian??? Man I gotta read the fucking comics). Bit of depression paired with women being badass af in this playlist!

BONUS The Administrator: Oh No! - Marina and the Diamonds : Matilda - alt-J : Big God - Florence and the Machine : Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin : Army of Me - Björk. I may as well have asked the Administrator to step on me with this playlist; lot’s of selfishness and a longing for power for her songs!

BONUS Scout's Mom: My Mom - Kimya Dawson : Fast Car - Tracy Chapman : Your Ex-Lover Is Dead - Stars : I Will Wait - Mumford & Sons : 1985 - Bowling For Soup. Gosh, I miss my mom... anyways, I think Scout’s mom is a good mama, and even though I also think she’s been through a lot, she still loves her kid and husband, even if they’re far from home at the moment!

I went a bit overboard, didn’t I? Oh well, this was very fun to do, so thank you so much for the ask!

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mentallydefectivepotato-blog · 7 years

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Team Fortress 2 Fanfic

We wrote a heavyxmedic+ sniperxspy fanfic for TF2′s birthday. Beware, there is ANGST.

When the snow falls

It was a specially freezing day at coldfront, snow slowly and silently falling from the gray sky above and turning the scenery white. Regardless of that, the mercenaries still had to fight, it was their obligation, their job. Among them, one was less bothered by the weather, as he was used to it: the Heavy. Eating his Sandvich while they were waiting for the next round to start, the RED contemplated the landscape, which reminded him of his dear home, but, to him, something just didn’t seem right.

During such a dreary day, the only thing that could make him happy was seeing his medic, or, as the Russian called him, “his doktor”. The man in question, Ludwig, sat at the desk located inside the RED base’s meeting room, along with his team’s engineer and spy, discussing the strategy they would use, even though they knew that the rest of their team wouldn’t follow it anyway. After the meeting had ended, the German met up with him, and they started to chat.

“How is your day, doktor?” heavy asked, adopting a cheerful tone as soon as he saw his boyfriend. Some would think of their relationship as unprofessional, but they didn’t care at all, for that their love overcame others’ criticism.

“Vell, zhe other team’s spy has been annoying me, I have been backstabbed so many times lately.” the medic protested, gesturing widely to emphasize his displeasure.

“Sorry for not protecting you. Next time I will punch him so much, he will never touch you again” the other affirmed, with a noticeable irritated tone, as if he was mad not only at the BLU spy, but at his own incapacity of protecting his lover.

Surely, the BLU spy was hated by the whole RED team, and even by some of his own teammates. Partially because nobody trusted spies, but also because of his cocky personality. Actually, he wasn’t a complete douchebag inside, but the only one who knew this was his team’s sniper. They weren’t seen as really close friends by the other mercenaries but, in reality, they were more than that: lovers.

Their conversation was abruptly interrupted by the administrator, as the speakers announced “Mission begins in 10 seconds.”. Ludwig prepared his Medi Gun and kissed his boyfriend in the cheek, wishing him good luck. Meanwhile, the other mercenaries prepared themselves to get out of spawn and run into the frigid snow.

“We will win this round, doktor! If you are with me, nothing can stop us!” assured Misha, embracing his significant other deeply and lovingly, just as he used to do before all the battles.

“Yes, I am sure of it.” replied the man in a white coat, giving the other a light peck on his lips. “Let’s kill them all, mein liebe.”

“Eww! Get a room, you two!” the scout interrupted, feeling uncomfortable. The couple ignored him and the bostonian boy decided to give up.

Meanwhile, in BLU team’s base, all of the mercenaries were also getting ready for the action. Sniper, sitting on a chair, was observing the battlefield, analyzing which positions would be the best for him to prepare his sniper nest. He was so focused that he didn’t even notice that spy was looking at him with a lustful smile. Finally, he got up so that he could position himself in a good place, as the beginning of the battle approached. Soon after doing so, the Australian bumped into his French lover.

“Since when have you been there, spook?!” asked the man in shades, almost having a heart attack

“Ha, have you only noticed it now? I’ve been there for quite a time.” a smug grin made its way to the man’s face.

“And doing what, wanker?”

“Admiring my dear bushman, of course.” spy winked and stole a kiss from his lover, catching him off guard and making him blush like mad.

“Piss off! What are you-”

“Five. Four. Three. Two. One.” the Administrator declared the beginning of the battle.

“Uh… Snipes, you ok? Your face looks like a fuckin’ tomato.” scout questioned.

“…Sure, mate. I’m fine.” sniper recomposed himself and looked around, searching for his boyfriend, but the assassin had already vanished like smoke.

Both teams ran out to the battlefield, heading to the control point in the center of the map, while the engineers placed their sentry nests at their respective teams’ control points. It was, despite of the exceptionally cold weather, an ordinary day, with bullets, explosives and fire everywhere. And so the battle continued, blood splattering all over the ground and painting the snow crimson red.

While everybody was in the frontlines, spilling blood and sacrificing themselves so that their team would be able to advance, the BLU spy was armed with His Eternal Reward, infiltrating through the enemy base, sneaking so that no one would could see him. As he wore a Dead Ringer, he couldn’t turn invisible, so, with extra carefulness, he waited for the chance of getting a disguise.

However, on his way to RED’s headquarters, the Frenchman found the enemy medic by himself. From the man’s appearance and location, it seemed that he had gotten separated from the rest of his team after being chased down by a pyro. The doctor soon noticed the Frenchman’s presence and turned his attention to him.

“Spy! I vill kill you zhis time!”

“Oh? I didn’t think we would meet so soon, mon ami. I still haven’t wiped the blood of my knife from the last time I killed you.” the backstabber mocked.

Furious, medic abruptly rushed forward in an enraged, screaming display and pierced through the provoker with his ubersaw, taking him by surprise. Quickly, the BLU activated his Dead Ringer and moved away, while hearing his attacker boast about his skill and laugh at his fake dead body.

Seeing his victim distracted, he took the opportunity and backstabbed him right at the bottom of the stairs in front of the RED control point. The light bulbs shining brightly at the ceiling were the only witnesses of the incident. As soon as he did this, spy heard a voice he knew very well. With an indifferent tone, it declared: “The respawn has stopped working. Try to keep yourselves alive, or else you won’t come back.”

Upon hearing so, the mercenary got paralyzed. He had killed the RED medic and knew he was gone forever. The French looked at his own hands and trembled: he was a murderer. Of course, he had already killed many people before, but this time it was… different. It felt wrong. The spy knew his victim too well to look at the situation impersonally, and, above all, he also knew how much the RED heavy loved the doctor. For the first time, he felt guilty for taking someone’s life, for the suffering his actions would cause.

Then, suddenly, the RED heavy came running nervously through the base’s door, scanning his surroundings and passing by the crates and barrels scattered around the place. Apparently, he was looking for someone. The only thing the spy could suspect was that the Russian had come to save his lover, alerted by his screams. The French pitied the man, as he knew better than anyone how painful it would be to lose the one you love. Then, turning to the fake German, the RED said:

“Doktor, I heard you scream, you are good?” he was panting and had a concerned look on his face.

“Oh, Heavy, zhere jou are, I am glad I found you, I was worried about zhis announcement too, but now zhat I am with jou, we are safe.” Spy replied, hiding the remorse he felt. “I ran into spy, but now that dummkopf is finally dead, look!” He pointed at his own corpse, imitating medic’s psychopathic grin perfectly.

“So you screamed because of this, heavy is happy doktor is ok now.” answered the heavy in a relieved, unsuspecting manner.

In the meantime, everyone from the BLU base was searching for their teammates, frightened by the announcement that the Administrator had made. Finally, the whole group managed to meet at the spawn and gathered at the dimly lit meeting room, but when soldier was finally able to count the members and said that no one was missing, sniper contested:

“I think you forgot someone, mate. Dontcha miss the stink of cigarettes?” the sarcastic smile he always had on his face while badmouthing the spy was one of the reasons people didn’t think the two of them liked each other very much.

Indeed, everyone seemed to be there, but spy. Even though he was disliked by almost all of his colleagues, he was still their partner, and they were afraid he could be actually dead, forever. At first they didn’t think this was the case, as the Frenchman used to disappear often, but this assumption was confirmed by the fact that scout, while going back to his base, saw spy’s body inside the RED base.

“Oh, so the bloody frog is finally dead?” demoman asked jokingly.

“Oh, c’mon, man, now that that fricking spy is finally gone, we won’t have to suspect anybody else.” scout replied.

“Haha, so we won’t have to see that wanker again?” the Australian added, smirking.

“That’s right, boy. Phew, this man really got on mah nerves!” engineer chuckled.

“Mmmph mmph...” pyro sounded upset by the fact, as if he mourned the death of his friend.

However, deep inside, sniper was heartbroken. His one and only love in his whole life was gone, forever. And the rest of the team seemed unbothered by that fact, and even happy, this was what hurt him the most. Besides that, he had to act as if he didn’t care: he was a professional.

Both teams, thinking about the earlier announcement and the consequences it would have in their lives, stayed in their respective bases, afraid of going out and not coming back. The world seemed dark and ominous and the atmosphere was quiet and heavy. Immerse in their thoughts, a loud voice woke them up from their momentary calm moment, loudly speaking:

“Time to fight! Idling is not allowed. Get up and move!” the Administrator ordered, and so everyone did, not wanting to disobey her.

Very cautiously, the mercenaries got out of their respective spawns and advanced towards the middle control point. The BLU sniper took some moments longer to pull the will he needed to walk towards a high cliff, his sniper nest, and start working again. Taking a deep breath, he zoomed in his Machina and looked for REDs. In reality, the Australian wasn’t attempting to shoot anyone, as taking someone’s life wasn’t his intention.

Meanwhile, the BLU spy, disguised as an enemy medic, was trying his best to pretend he was the real one. If heavy found out his lover was gone, and because of him, the French would certainly get killed, and that clearly wasn’t what he wanted. He felt sorry for taking his German boyfriend’s life away, and thus, continued acting so that the Russian wouldn’t feel so lonely. As the impostor heard the Administrator saying that they would have to fight again, he knew he was in trouble. He had to escape, but wouldn’t be capable of taking another life to do so, the guilt he felt was already overwhelming.

The RED heavy, followed by spy, was heading to the frontlines, ready for the combat. Looking for a chance to sneak away and run back to his base, the masked BLU waited at the RED spawn. Noticing how the fake medic was standing still strangely instead of following him, the heavy called him out:

“Doktor! Come help me!” his voice held the affection he had for his lover.

To avoid any suspicion, spy acted accordingly. At some point around the exit though, he pretended to be injured and tried to come up with an excuse to run back to his base.

“Heavy, go ahead, I vill just take a health pack over there and then meet you again.” he lied, hoping that heavy would leave him alone so that he could flee.

“No, doktor, it is dangerous here, I will come with you.” the bulky man answered. “I will not lose you.” he then embraced the French gently.

And that’s when spy’s life went downhill. Heavy remembered the scent of roses and cigarettes he had smelt earlier and found out the true identity of his “teammate”. At the moment the BLU’s disguise wore off, he could see a long dagger embroidered with oriental ornaments in his right hand, dirtied with blood. The Russian suddenly realized his lover was dead, and the man in front of him was an impostor and murderer. The French tried, in a moment of despair, to pick up his Dead Ringer, but the other mercenary instantaneously took it off his hand. He grabbed the BLU violently by his collar and roared:

“Dirty spy, you killed my doktor?!”

“It was... not my intention… I’m very sorry for your loss…” spy looked down, as if he was trying to excuse himself of his actions.

“Why did you do that?! You know he will never come back!” heavy already was in the verge of tears. His anguish and suffering could be felt in his words. No physical pain he had ever felt before could compare to the one he felt inside him at that instant: All he could think was “Why?! Why him?!”.

“It was right before the respawn stopped working, I swear I didn’t mean to take his life away, forever.” the endangered mercenary tried to apologize for what he had done, but it didn’t seem to work.

Heavy knocked the BLU to the wall and started hitting him, expressing all the fury, bitterness and sorrow he felt. The French didn’t even react, as he felt miserable and disgusting: he deserved it, he was a murderer. The RED was suffering, so he would have to go through it too. His mind was clouded and his eyes were empty, he just waited for his enemy to kill him, and then it all would be over.

The Russian couldn’t ratiocinate, hatred and desire for revenge took over him. At the same time, beautiful recordations that had been shared with medic emerged from his mind, which only made his misery worsen: their fights side by side, their gentle, warm hugs and kisses, the sweet words they had once shared. These things would never come back, and he knew it. He knew it and it hurt.

Spy’s consciousness was fading, his senses were weakening, but, in the middle of the chaos, a thought crossed his mind. What about sniper, his lover? He was surely waiting for him to come back, so that they could share kind words and gestures after the battle as they always did, so that they could hug each other and share a drink after a long, stressful day. If he never came back, how would he feel?

That thought was what gave him will to live. The one thing that made him struggle to survive, the only thing that still mattered to him. Spy tried to free himself of the bigger man, just so that he wouldn’t get crushed against the wall.

The commotion the fight caused made sniper get up from his nest and head closer to the source of it in an attempt to find out what was happening. When he believed that nothing would be able to surprise him, he had a view that sent a chill through his bones. Seeing his lover pressed against the wall and getting fiercely punched by the RED, he quickly scoped his Machina and aimed it at the enemy’s head, in hopes of saving the Frenchman. For the first time in his life, his hands shook as he held the rifle. Thousands of thoughts crossed his mind. He didn’t understand what was going on and how spy was still alive, he just knew he had to act, and quickly.

Bang.

The shot went right through heavy’s head…

… But also ended up hitting spy’s chest.

Sniper rapidly walked down the stairs and runned towards his beloved, holding him tight in his arms. He felt the blood that had soaked the mercenary’s blue suit and was flowing out of his body. Tears immediately filled the Australian’s eyes as he looked at spy, who tried his best to fake a confident smile.

“What is wrong, bushman? That is not usual of you, ‘cheer up, mate!’”

“You bloody spook, why d’you always have to be so careless?” he shouted.

“Sorry, mon cher, it seems I couldn’t run this time, as the filthy snake I am, right?” the French replied sarcastically.

“Please, stop this, can’t you take this seriously and be sincere for once? I-I’m so scared, please, don’t leave me…”

“Before… before I go, I just want to tell you something.” spy whispered, his words sounded honest and urgent.

“...........................................”

“What? I-I can’t hear you.”

Sniper leaned in to hear exactly what the dying man was trying to say, and, in that moment, spy pulled him to a passionate and tender kiss. Though the French’s strength was fading, as he had lost a lot of blood, he still gripped his beloved firmly. Both stayed like this, enjoying the last moments they would have together. Then, spy loosened his hand from sniper’s and closed his eyes.

“You bloody spook, don’t you dare die, bloody hell!” panicking, the Australian couldn’t do anything to help the other. His teammates were too far to help, the blood loss had been too significant.

“Au revoir, mon amour. We shall meet again.”

Spy was gone.

He was dead and nothing could be done to change this. Sniper analyzed his situation. The one and only he had loved for his entire life was dead, by his own fault. Maybe if he wasn’t so nervous when aiming at heavy, he wouldn’t have hit spy too. If his hands weren’t trembling that much, if the tears weren’t blurring his vision… But none of this mattered anymore. The actions he had made couldn’t be modified.

The Australian breathed deeply and tried to focus. What would he do now? The respawn was broken and he hadn’t only killed one person, but two, one of which was his own teammate. He was a murderer, they would never come back. Heavy was, obviously, an enemy, who was attempting to kill spy, but he was still a human. And spy, oh, his own lover, was killed by his very hands. The French was the reason sniper laughed, cried, got angry and annoyed; he made him feel like he had a place in that world. Without him, he would be incomplete, his life would lose its purpose.

Sniper tried to imagine the rest of his life without his boyfriend. It would be dull, dreadful, and colorless, without the joy spy used to bring. And what’s more, what would the rest of the team, if there was still a team after this bloodbath, think about what he did? They would be terrified by the fact that he had killed two men; he wouldn’t, under any circumstances, be forgiven by his crimes.

He inhaled once more. There was only one way out of this. He reached for spy’s revolver, which was right besides him, lying on the floor, and pointed it at his own head.

“So, in the end, I’ll be able to meet you.” those were his last words. Then he pulled the trigger.

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lykanthropa · 7 years

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Support Class

Chapter 3: Home and Family

The next day Archimedes sits in a small blood puddle on the operating table in the infirmary. Medic is sitting at his desk writing down on a sheet of paper. Robin flies through the open window and settles in front of the dove, but keeps distance from the blood. “Privet, Arkhimeda!” “Guten Tag, Robin.” „What is Medic doing?” “He is making a list.” “A list?” “Yes. My daddy decided to help the team with good resolutions.” “Oh… okay.” Archimedes immediately realizes that the red breast has no idea what he's talking about. But that’s fine by him. “Why do you always sit in blood? Isn't that disgusting?” “Aber nein. Not at all. I like this viscous substance somehow.” “Is that because of Medic?” “That could be. He likes blood. So I like it too. In this way I feel close to him. You are also this way.” “What do you mean?” “Well, sometimes you sleep in the barrel of Heavy's weapon. You do that because you like him and want to be close to him, right?” “Yes… Heavy doesn't like that but yet he let me nesting in Sasha. He has never chased me away.” “If he accepts that, then he likes you very much.” “That makes me very happy! Oh! Ahaha! Look, Archimedes! The blood on your chest makes you look like a big red breast.” Suddenly Medic rose from his chair and left with the described paper the infirmary. Archimedes follows him with the eyes. “I've become very much like him since the day we met.” “Do you tell me about your encounter?” “Of course. It was a very fateful and at the same time a funny meeting, which I have not forgotten a single second. It was love at first sight…”

Medic enters the lounge where, as expected, all the Mercs are sitting at the big table and wait for their doctor. “Finally, Doc. Why did you call us?” “Take it easy, Scout.” Medic stands in front of the table and looks at each one. “I have invited you because I have to tell you something. And it’s important, so listen carefully.” “Well I'm curious…” Spy sighs. “I've looked at your results from the examinations and have to say that some of you don't show good blood values. This is mainly due to cigarettes, alcohol and energy drinks.” “Wait! W-what do you mean?” “Tcha, Scout. This means, especially for you, that you have to curb your consumption from now on.” “But…but…” “Demo, that is the same for you and your alcohol consumption.” “But Medic…!” “Spy, you'll smoke less from now.” “That’s what I feared.” Medic sighs heavily as his gaze falls on Heavy. “Heavy, I have to put you on a diet.” The mouth of the Russian hangs open but no sound comes out. Scout can't refrain from laughing. “It's about time that this land whale makes diet. Then, hopefully, the ground will not tremble anymore when he walks. Am I right, Fatty?” Heavy ignores him. His eyes are on Medic. He is deeply hurt. Medic feels bad. Heavy is good as he is. But for some time now he has gained a bit more weight and if he cooperate he can eat as he wants again. Well, with some medical control, of course. “Just a little bit, Heavy.” With a deep grumble, the Russian folds his arms in front of his chest and turned his head offended. “What about us, Doc?” Soldier asks. “With Soldier, Engineer and Pyro I have nothing to complain about.” “Why should we come then here?” “Well, I cannot have my eyes everywhere. I want you to make sure that Scout, Spy, Demo and Heavy are not cheating.” “Roger that, Doc.” “Hmmmpf!” “Thanks for your support.” Spy wrinkles his nose. “Although you are a doctor, discretion is not your strength, am I right?” Medic supports himself with one hand on the table and leans over slightly. “You are the first one who will give me his cancer stalks. At your age the cancer risk is greatly increased. You don't have to support this.” “Pah!” “Hey, what about me?” “Of course I didn't forget you, Sniper. I've noticed that your vitamin B levels have worsened. You just drink too much coffee. I would advise you to drink your morning urine in order to compensate for this. But don't worry. You have a very healthy urine.” All present is the disgust written on their face. “I thought he was already drinking his urine. Why else should he keep it in jars?” “I do it so the Doc can examine it!” “Such a high amount?” “No, I keep the rest to wait for the perfect moment to throw it at you.” “Now please calm down. Sniper, if you don't want to drink it, I can inject it under your skin.” “I hate Spy. I really do. But I must agree with him. Discretion is not your strength…” “Don't make (such) a fuss! Now get the cigarettes, the alcohol and the Bonk into the infirmary, so I can lock it up. Remember, I don’t want you any harm. It's my duty as your doctor to look after your health.” “I don't get it. What does Bonk have to do with my health?” “Very simple. Energy drinks are pure poison for your kidneys. And kidneys are very important. They detoxify your body. To support this, you can drink water for a change. What I order hereby.” “Water? Water tastes like nothing and it certainly does not give me the necessary energy to survive in the fight.” “Pah! As if you were drinking Bonk only during the fighting. You keep drinking it all the time. Every day. Even now at this moment! You imbecile…” “So what? It tastes nice.” “Cut the discussions! Spy, Scout and Demo. Bring me your body-poisoning luxury. Hurry up!” Everyone stares at the doc. Rarely the Mercs catch sight of his sternness. Finally, Spy, Demoman and Scout rose from their chair to get the desired objects from their rooms. Medic follows them, keeping one eye on them. If the Mercs realize that he is serious, they are mostly very willing. “Don’t make a face” Medic says while he locks in the cigarette case, the bottles, and the cans in his safe. “Why do you have a safe?” “I keep medicines in it so that can't get into the wrong hands. And I mean you, Scout.” “What have I done again?” Medic does not go into it and turns around to the three. “I hope you have given me everything. If I catch you with the forbidden stuff you will be in trouble.” “There was a time you were more cool, Doc.” “Yeah, led. What’s wrong?” “I don't know what you mean. I'm still the same.” “Cannot we do it with the start of the new decade?” “You want to harm your body for a whole year, so you have to forbear the enjoyment? Be glad I am doing this now. So you are at least already in the program. Moreover, that would be irresponsible. I am your Doktor and I must take care of your well-being. Am I right, Spy?” “………” “If withdrawal symptoms occur, I have an effective remedy. If you excuse me now, I have to clear this up with Heavy.” Medic throws the three out from the infirmary and sets off on the way to search for the Russian. “Withdrawal symptoms? Pah! I don’t need Bonk! I can manage everything without Bonk. That’s no problem for me.” “Shut up, kid.” “Well with you both the whole thing looks different. Hahaha! Have fun with your future as a non-smoker and as a dry alcoholic.”

Medic finds Heavy in his room. He sits on his bed and seems to think. The doctor knocks at the open room door. “May I come in?” The Russian looks up. Medic was sure he was still angry with him, but that doesn't seem to be the case at all. “Da, Doktor.” He sits down on his bed next to him. “Because earlier…” “Doctor is right. Heavy has put on a bit of weight.” “This was certainly the Christmas dinner. You got that quickly from the ribs. And you can also eat sandwiches.” “Really?” “Yes! Just without cheese, ham and pork sausage. Ach ja! And the white bread must be replaced by granary bread.” The hopeful expression on Heavy's face died immediately. “It’ll be okay. That is, if you trust me.” “I trust doctor.” “Very good. Help me and then you can eat everything you want again. Deal?” “Deal.” Medic and Heavy accept. “I didn't mention this but Engineer also gained a little bit of weight.” Heavy smiles. He feels better when he knows he is not the only one who needs to lose weight.

One day later:

Scout sneaks quietly through the base. Its target is the beverage machine, which houses the wonderful, wonderful Bonk in its interior. He had really tried, but he cannot live without this miracle cure! He needs it. Instantly! The machine is unattended. Scout had expected Medic had set up guards but there's no one to be seen. “Hehehe… You're not as clever as you always say, Doc.” Full of joyful expectations, the boy strolls over to the beverage dispenser and pulls a coin out of his pocket. “Thanks, Spy.” Scout inserts the coin into the slot and presses the Bonk button. But there is no usual bonk sound when the can falls into the shaft. “What the…?” He pushes the button again. Nothing. “Why is nothing coming out? That cannot be!” Scout get to his knees and looks into the shaft. Of course nothing is to be seen, so he puts his right arm into it till to the shoulder. He cannot feel anything that feels like a can. “Geez… Aaahhhh!” Suddenly something inside the machine snaped shut and clamps his arm below the elbow. He tries to pull his arm out, but he's stuck. “Oh no… Nononononono!” With all his might, he tries to free himself from his predicament. He doesn’t want to imagine what happens when Medic catches him. “Mmppfh!” Scout freezes and turns his head slowly to the right. Pyro stands in front of him, with his arms on his hips. “Pyro! Thank god! Could you help me? I'm stuck here.” “Hmpf?” “I can't do it alone!” “Mmmpff..” “Oh… I… I didn't want to get a Bonk from the machine. I just wanted to… I just have… I saw a mouse jump in here and I wanted to get it out.” “………” “If you believe me, give me a sign.” Pyro reaches for his ax and holds it in both hands. “W-what are you going to do?” The pyromania makes a movement as if he would chop wood and then points to Scouts clamped arm. “WHAT?! No way!” But Pyro steps up to him with raised axe. “No! Stop! HELP!!” “It’s okay, Pyro. I think he has learned his lesson.” Scout looks incredulous when suddenly Medic stands next to him and lowers Pyro's arms. “Thank you for your help.” “Mmpf.” “So, Scout. Just one day and you couldn't stand it anymore, hm?” “I just wanted…” “Don't tell me the lie with the mouse, too!” Medic takes a small key out of his pocket with which he opens the machine. “You got a key for that thing? As opposed of stealing money from Spy, I would have simply stole the key-“ Medics' warning look makes Scout falter. “I mean borrow.” The Doc opens the front of the beverage dispenser and it catches the boy's breath as he sees that there is not a single can in it. “What the…?” “I knew that you were going to try that, so I took safety precautions.” He frees Scouts arm from the snapped trap. Immediately the boy pulls it out and rubs the sore point. “I could have lost my arm!” “Then I would have it sewn on back. Don’t be such a baby.” Medic helps Scout on his legs. “Here.” Suddenly, Medic holds a can out to Scout. “W-what? Hehe. Have you accept that it's senseless to withhold my Bonk?” “Not at all. I didn't say you could never consume again your pleasures. What has bothered me is that you have taken tons of this poison to you daily. But I don't mind that you smoke a cigarette once a day or drink your alcohol and energy drink. And if I'm honest-“ Medic puts the can into the hand of the unbelieving boy. “You wouldn't be you without this stuff. It's a part of your personality. You drink the energy drinks, demo his alcohol and Spy is an avid smoker. So just you are. I don’t want to change you. Absolutely not. If your values have become better, you may consume this stuff how you want. Until your values sink again into the cellar and I have to keep you in your place again.” “Wow… Thanks, Doc. You are OK.” Scout opens the can and takes a big slug. “Nevertheless, during this time, you can learn to ration your drink a bit.” “Yeah, yeah. I'll be at your infirmary tomorrow to get my next Bonk.” The boy leaves and Medic and Pyro stay back alone. Medic sighs annoyed. “This brat…” “Mmpf. Mmh.” “Yes, one day he will learn it. At the latest when his kidneys go to hell. I better go and search for Spy and Demo, before the two also try something stupid to satisfy their addiction.”

Spy stays at the outdoor area. With his arms crossed, he stands against the gateway to the garage and tries to ignore the trembling of his hands. He really tries to have understanding for their doctor that he's so worried about their health. But he will never survive the withdrawal symptoms which are now beginning. He remembers that Medic said he had a remedy. But Spy is far too proud, as he admits that he's feeling bad. In addition, only one thing helps against withdrawal symptoms. A cigarette! He needs a cigarette now! As a substitute, he had put a stalk in his mouth and chewed it on it for several minutes impatiently (a recommendation from Engineer). He did not think the bland taste could taste even more tasteless... And besides, who is he? A Cowboy? “Pah…”

Suddenly a crab crosses his path. It just walks past him, ignoring Spy. There are two things about this crab, why Spy is focusing on it. First: It's a crab, in the middle of the desert. Second: It holds a cigarette butt between one of its scissor. He can hardly believe what he is about to do. He spits out the stalk and walks towards the crustacean. He stands directly in front of the animal, blocks its path. “So what have we got here?” The crab changes direction, but Spy blocks its way again. “Where are you headed? I'll let you go right away, but first let me take the cigarette. You cannot do anything with it anyway.” Spy bends down, reaches for the fag end, but the crab refuses to give him it. “What the…? Give it to me!” The crab holds the cigarette in its scissor, while Spy tries with all his might to snatch it from it. “Merde… I can't stoop lower... AAAHHHH!” The crustacean had snapped with its second pair of scissors and didn't let go. Spy shoots up and shakes his hand to cast off the crab, but it just doesn't let go. “Let me go already, you seafood! When I'm done with you, you will end up in the cooking pot!” “Now, now, Spy.” In spite of the pain the crab makes him, Spy looks around for the calm voice. Engineer comes up to him, takes the crab softly with one hand on the belly, while massaging the painful scissor with the other. Spy can’t believe what he sees and is already calling for an outraged exclamation until the crab suddenly lets him go. Swearing, the Spy rubs his aching fingers. Despite his leather gloves, the pain had penetrated to the lowest point. “Now go your way, little friend.” Engineer puts the crustacean gently on the ground and it crawls away. With the cigarette. Spy turns away as the Engineer turns to him. He is ashamed that he was caught in such embarrassing action. “Spy, was that really necessary? Didn't you take a stalk, as I advised you?” “Yes… Yes, I do. But you're not a smoker, Engineer. You don't understand this!” The Texan lays an arm around the Frenchman. “Let's go to Medic. He's already looking for you.” “What does he want now again? This is all his fault.” “He takes care of us. And I think that you yourself know that smoking is not healthy.” “I am old enough to decide for myself what is good for me.” “Well, we are powerless against the doctor.” “Pah…”

Demoman looks around carefully. No one mustn't see him when he visits his secret hiding places, where he keeps some bottles of alcohol. He had really tried not to get weak. Although he knows that Medic is right, he just cannot pull himself together.

He sneaks into the bathroom, opens the toilet tank and takes a bottle of Scotch from there. He will particularly enjoy this bottle because after that he will have to deal with his bad conscience for a while. Demos hands tremble as he opens it and takes a big sip. The base is big, yet he has the fear to be caught. How would be able to explain his betrayal to Medic? He would be very disappointed of him. If alcohol were not so traitorous...

A sound in the corridor makes Demo flinch. He tries to pack the bottle back into the toilet tank, but in his panic the bottle bumps against the tank and with a rattling sound it breaks into pieces and the whole substance splash to the ground. The Scotsman froze. But no one knocks at the toilet door. He had thought someone was nearby. Had he perhaps just imagined the sound in his nervousness? But somebody will use this toilet. Until then, the alcohol and its smell must have disappeared. First, Demoman wants to get a wipe, until another idea comes to him. He stares down at the dark puddle. “………” Luckily, the floor in the toilets is always clean. But even if it were otherwise, he probably would have done this...

After driving several times with his tongue over the floor, he suddenly noticed a figure on the door. He scares, but turns his head slowly to the Merc. It’s Soldier standing with arms crossed in the door. “Oh er… Hi, led.” “What are you doing, Demoman?” “…wipe the floor?” “With your tongue?” “………yes. I couldn’t find any cloth.” Soldier enters the toilet, passes Demoman to a closet in the corner, opens it, and pulls out a mop from there. “...a few minutes ago it wasn't there yet.” “That’s enough, maggot!” Soldier grabbed Demoman by the neck collar and hoisted him back to the legs, whirling him around, grabbed him by the collar and shook him. “Don't take me for an idiot! You wanted to secretly drink alcohol! I have rarely seen soldiers with so little discipline!” “I’m so sorry, lad! Really! I couldn’t control myself.” “We're going to Doc.” “………”

“In spite of my express instructions, you have tried to pursue your addiction behind my back.” Demoman and Spy stand guilty before Medic, who walks up and down with his arms crossed on his back. “I can understand that withdrawal symptoms seduce you into all sorts of stupidities, but you just could have come to me.” “I don't want syringes, tablets or nicotine patches”, Spy grumbles. “Of course not!” Medic walks over to his safe, opens it, and picks up something. Spy and Demoman look a bit stupid when the doctor gives them a bottle and a cigarette. “What the…?” “Are you kidding me?” “Not at all. Every day you can have a bit.” “But why?” “Well, Demo is not our Demo without his alcohol. The same is true for you, Spy. You're a smoker. We met you like this. I just want your values to get better again. But that does not work if you consume vast amounts of this stuff every day, do you understand?” “I guess so…” “You’re right, Docteur.” “So that is clarified. Ration it well. There is only one per day. And there are no exceptions.”

The same evening:

All 8 Mercs are sitting at the dining table in the dining room and wait for their food. Today, Medic is back in the kitchen, but he's a long time coming. “Where is the Doc? I am getting hungry!” “Easy, son. I’m sure, he will be finished soon.” “Aww! But he's been cooking for hours!” “Food is ready!” Medic enters the room with two plates in his hands. “It's about time… Oh~” One of the first plates is for Scout. On his is a bucket of crispy chicken legs. “Wow! Cool! Thanks, Doc!” Scout wants to start eating, but Medic holds him back. “I know how much you love this stuff, but wait for everyone to get their food. You know the rule.” “Oh, okay…” The second plate is for Demoman. He cannot trust his eye when he sees a steaming haggis in front of him. “Thanks, lad!” “You’re welcome.” Medic rushes back into the kitchen and comes back with two more special dishes. For Spy, he had prepared escargots and a glass of wine. “I'm touched, Docteur.” Frequently you don't see Spy's joyful face, but he's really happy about this surprise meal. Engineer is served next. He gets a big calf steak for dinner. Naturally with barbecue sauce. “HEEYAWW! Thanks, Doc!” Medic gives the engineer a smile and returns to the kitchen. Sniper is served a large omelette. If he gets such a thing, it can mean only one thing. “Is this…?” “Right. This is an emu egg.” “Oh? No kangaroo balls for our Crocodile Dundee?” Scout laughs loudly, but he is ignored. “How did you get it?” “That’s not the first time. You know the answer. It is and remains my secret.”

The next dish gets Soldier. “And for our war hero there is a simple bratwurst.” Soldier staring at the sausage on his plate. “A German sausage? Are you serious?” “Well, in Midwest USA the bratwurst is one of the most popular specialties. Don't act as if you wouldn't like it.” “….maggot.” With a satisfied smile, Medic returns to the kitchen a fourth time. This time he comes with a plate and a longdrink glass with a white liquid and a colorful drinking straw back. The glass he sets before Pyro, who claps enthusiastically in the hands. The plate is placed on Medics seat. On it are a Wiener Schnitzel with fried potatoes and a hunter's sauce. “Your food comes right now, Heavy.” “Da. Thank you, Doktor.” With just three plates Medic comes back into the dining-room. He stands next to Heavy and places the plates in front of his best friend. On the first is a double decker sandwich. The eyes of the Russians shine with joy. On the two other plates are Russian specialties, Pelmeni and Borschtsch. “Good Appetite.” “But Doktor said I should make diet.” “Yes, is today a special day, that you take the time and cook our favorite food?” “Of course today is a special day. It's Heavie's birthday.” “Heavy has birthday today?” “All the best, mate.” The Mercs congratulate him cordially. Even if they do not always understand each other, they all show their love to each other on such days. “Happy birthday, Heavy.” “Thank you, Medic…” “You are welcome. And before I forget.” One again Medic goes away and comes back with a bottle, a Bonk can and a cigarette, which he reaches Demoman, Scout and Spy. “But you said that we can have it only once a day and there is no exception.” “Except on birthdays. I thought I did not have to mention that. Finally, I make exceptions on every birthday.” “That’s true.” Medic sits down next to Heavy.” “Enjoy the meal.” “Before we eat, we should give our dear Docteur three cheers. “What!?” All those who have a glass (and a bottle and a can) lift these into the air. The others simply raise their arms and call three times: “For he's a jolly good fellow! Hurrah!” “I love dis Doktor!” The whole table quivers as Heavy hits with vigor his big hands on the table top. “Thank you, my friends. I love you, too. But I’m not the focus today.” “Yet, what would we do without you, Docteur?” “Yeah! You’re cool, man.” “We have the best doctor all over the world.” “Oh! Oh, I know. I know.” “We hope that you will retained for us eternally.” “I will. I would never cancel this job. Even if you often trying my patience, I would like nothing better than to do heal your wounds. I'm something like a father for you, don't I?” “Well, you're more like a Mama for us” Scouts says. “Oh? Hm. Alright. Just as well.” “I agree! After all, I am the father here!” “Sit down, Soldier.” “Now start eating before it gets cold.” The Mercs tuck in. Medic watches them eat their food. He’s filled with pride. He would also proudly claim to be the "Mama" of the team. When he came to them, they had underestimated him. But quickly he had earned their respects, and since then he's enjoy a high reputation. Medic focuses his attention on Heavy. Normally, the Russian gobbles his food. But Medics dishes he eats slowly. He enjoys it. Their eyes meet and Heavy gives the doctor a friendly smile and Medic smiles back. The Mercs have long been no more friends for the German, but his family. Here is his home and this will never ever change.

#TF2 #tf2 medic #tf2 archimedes #tf2 mercs

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