We <3 spiderpunk donnie

Across the Turtle-verse

Your honor they’re silly <3

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Not sure which of these is funnier so you guys are getting both versions

[Image ID: Two versions of the same low-res meme, captioned "when you visit a white person house 💀💀👀😩". The first version has a stretched out screenshot of the tf2 comic showing Demo and Pauling tied up in Sniper's house, with Sniper standing over Demo with one hand on Demo's shoulder and the other holding a syringe. The second version has a stretched out screenshot of the tf2 comic showing just the inside of Sniper's dim, run-down house. End ID]

haaaaaaaaah I haven’t drawn anything in ages

I know I’ve been dead for the past year but I wanted to say that I hc that Soldier is really good at playing the trumpet.

that one request about kid y/n seeing the mercs as a father figure but w/ scout p lease,,,

How the mercs would react to a kid getting stuck on base and starting to see them as father figures: Scout Edition

When it happened, he was pretty confused. And scared. He didn't even meet his own dad, how was HE supposed to FATHER A KID!? He never was able to imagine himself having kids, but surprisingly you managed to change that. It started with him just sorta ignoring you because, well, you're a kid. But when he realized that you two had similar interests (Comics, baseball, Tom Jones, Etc.) He latched onto YOU instead. They loved being around you and would always have you help them with their stupid shenanigans and pranks. But it was still a more older brother dynamic, right? I mean, he might be a BIT overprotective over you and always play catch with you and give you piggyback rides, but those are just older brother things, right? You can't blame him for being clueless, I mean he never met his dad and he was just going off of what his older brothers did when he was younger (not knowing that they practically parented him throughout his childhood.) It wasn't until one of the mercs pointed out that you literally called him "dad" at one point that it really hit him how much you looked up to him. When he finally realized and processed all this, he started.. crying. He had a kid now. He was a dad. Once the other mercs saw this happening, they had engineer distract you while they helped calm him down. He was terrified. He had no idea what to do. What if he messed up? What if he left you? What if he hurt you? He really cares about Spy, that's undeniable but he doesn't want to repeat what he did. Even Spy admitted how much he regretted leaving Scout as a kid. But he still had no idea how to be a parent to a kid. So, naturally, the mercs decided to help him learn all the things they should've learned from a dad, so he could teach it to you. They were even sort of your second dads in a way. He still screws up sometimes, and he's still pretty irresponsible but he's trying really, REALLY hard to be better for you. To be a better dad than his. Because of him needing to learn how to do this stuff, spy and scouts relationship got better because Spy used this as an excuse to do all the stuff with Scout that he never got to do when he was younger as a "demonstration." He's not perfect, he's far from it. But I'd say he's good enough.

(This account has been SO DEAD LATELY. Ever since school started back up I've barely had the energy to do anything. I'm really sorry, and I'll try to make my upload schedule more consistent. Also, this ask is REALLY old so sorry for making you wait so long.)

Fuck it we doing mental illness headcanons bc I'm having one of the most days ever

Scout: definitely has one of the won't shut up diseases. Most people go for ADHD which I definitely agree with but tbh he could also just be Extremely anxious but in the way that makes you catastrophise every situation and ramble until someone tells him to shut it. Daddy issues goes without saying

Soldier: 100% autistic. Special interest in America, never see his eyes, no social awareness, completely unaware of his own strength and how it impacts other people, takes people literally. Icon

Pyro: psychosis is obvious, pyromania is too but I think our favourite entity could also be bipolar. They're very intense emotionally, I think they're prone to mania and depression but the mask makes it hard for people to realise

Demo: this man is a former gifted kid who is trying so hard to make his parents accept his career, he is definitely depressed. He's got a lot of trust issues and doesn't let people in easily

Heavy: generally I don't see him has having much mental illness (bar the liking torture stuff) but I do have a soft spot for autistic Heavy. Just heightens his struggle with communication beyond just the language, v good

Engineer: god complex, obviously. Definitely has daddy issues, and granddaddy issues. Gifted kid 2.0, definitely hasn't grown out of it. Struggles when he perceives someone else as smarter than him bc he puts so much of his self-worth on his intelligence.

Medic: I think pyschopath is accurate, but honestly anything with obsession could work. Definitely can't find a good work life balance, doesn't wind down at all but also rides the stress well bc he loves what he's doing. Autism is also possible here, he's got smth in there that makes him fixate.

Sniper: lots of people have him be socially anxious, which is good but I don't see it. Once again, autism is highly likely. I think he's absolutely fine talking to people but he just doesn't want to because he would rather be in his camper. He has imposter syndrome in some areas but not all. He thinks he's the absolute GOAT at sniping etc but when it comes to like, being a person he tends to feel like he's faking something. If anyone says he's nice he feels awful for deceiving them. Low self-esteem in most areas.

Spy: hot take: daddy issues. Definitely traumatised, has immense trust issues from his line of work. I think he has severe self worth issues, and his way of coping is by pretending he thinks he's better than everyone. He's very good with people he will never see again and/or complete strangers, but he will consistently fuck up long term relationships. This is why he creates the most friction with the team as he only knows how to interact with people as an enemy spy and not as a teammate.

Heavy deserves a little smooch on the cheek

A little late but how are the mercs on the 4th of July?

The Mercs on the 4th of July:

(I’m only gonna do Soldier for now since I’m feeling really drained right now)

Soldier:

-FUCKING HYPED.

-Fun fact: The mercs don't know his birthday, in fact, even he can't remember due to his memory loss.

Instead, they decided to celebrate it on the 4th of July.

-Not to be left alone.

-Can and will blow up the entire base with fireworks.

-One time, he blew up his face with fireworks after deciding he wanted to get a “closer look.

-The first time they celebrated his birthday it was a surprise, and he cried out of joy from it. 

-It was the first time anyone had ever seen him cry.

-Sometimes will rocket jump into the sky with Demo while the fireworks are going on.

-Sometimes will every put the mercs onto his back and then do it.

-Is up at the brink of dawn and will not go to bed until midnight.

-It’s his favorite holiday.

Random TF2 Headcanons:

-Scout reads comics 24/7, and he will often share his comics with Pyro

-Sniper and Heavy both love hunting and will often go on hunting trips together. Because of this, Sniper has taught Heavy how to use a sniper rifle.

-Heavy is usually seen as stoic and stuff but this is not true. At first, he comes off as quiet and intimidating, but once you get to know him he can be just as expressive and talkative as anybody else.

-Even if he has a quite limited vocabulary and a straightforward way of talking.

-Heavy cares for his team very, VERY deeply and would probably kill everyone in the room and then himself if anything happened to any of them.

-Similar to Heavy, Spy also cares for his team a LOT even if he has trouble showing it.

-In fact, they’re all idiots who would die for each other.

-Everyone on the team sorta acts like a dad to Scout, even Pyro in some ways.

-Zhanna has painted Soldier’s nails before.

-Sniper knows a lot about animals, so he will often go on rants about them to the team.

-The first time that he did it he got really embarrassed and tried to apologize, but the team quickly assured him that it was fine.

-They told him that they actually WANTED to hear what they had to say.

-Sniper tried to keep talking, but he ended up breaking down in tears.

-He’s not used to people actually wanting to hear what they have to say, so when someone shows genuine interest in their hobbies they really didn’t know how to react.

-Scout has accidentally called Spy “dad” once, but Spy never teases him for it.

-In fact, that incident is one of Spy’s most treasured memories.

-Pyro’s favorite game is Candy Land, and everyone has played it with them at some point.

-They’re also really good at Sorry, Uno, and Chess and will always beat anyone who they play against.

-Spy is really good at shuffling cards, and at one point he was a bit kleptomaniac.

-He’s pretty good at controlling it nowadays, but every time that he backstabs anyone he will always go out of his way to pickpocket them.

-He also has a history of stealing pens or any coins/dollar bills left out.

-And every once in a while he will be caught with something random that he swiped unconsciously, specifically shiny things.

-Luckily, it’s always something insignificant like a mini wrench from Engie’s workshop or a baseball card from Scout’s room.

-They always give it back though and ashamedly mutter an apology.

-They always beat themselves up whenever this happens, although they don’t tell anyone else how they feel. It’s pretty obvious though, but nobody points it out.

-Pyro and Spy get along surprisingly well because Pyro’s happy to listen to Spy’s stories and always has a light on him.

-Speaking of that, every once in a while Spy will tell a story to the team.

-They’re always pretty interesting and a bit crazy, but some of them are overexaggerated or fake though.

-Spy and Medic are both really good at lockpicking.

-Demoman has the most steady hands to ever exist. It’s something that you get when making bombs for a living.

-Every once in a while he will even lend a hand to Medic in surgeries.

-He also mostly gets around the world based on touch and sound, due to his poor eyesight.

-Engie is actually surprisingly strong because he has to lug around a toolbox with a bunch of metal in it all of the time.

-Spy actually knows a bit about mechanics, because he was the one who made his sapper and invisibility watch.

(Hello I am back after my unfortunate death. I was.. busy to put it simply.)

I hate this place

it is exactly what it fucking says on the tin. engineer sex noises.

All Poly ship names I've seen Demo/Soldier/Spy: Explosive Smoke Sniper/Demo/Medic: Precision All mercs: Team Ensemble Sniper/Pyro/Engie: Hot Rods Scout/Medic/Heavy: Putting up with the brat Medic/Sniper/Spy: Support Sandwich Demo/Medic/Engi/Pyro: Science Party Heavy/Sniper/Medic: Beaux and Arrows

Some of em I like some of em I'm not crazy about. Beaux and Arrows is probably my favorite here I'm kind of a sucker for naming stuff after achievements

Hey all ya'll sorry for being dead, schools coming up and I'm having a panic attack. Anyways, we need a ship name for polyam TF2! If you find one, reblog this and tell me it!

I think more people should appreciate demo and soldier, it doesn't even have to be romantically

Demoman x Soldier headcanons:

-Honestly, everyone on the team could tell that they were something more than friends.

-Even before they realized it.

-The moment that they realized that they were something more than friends is when they started slipping each other kisses on the field.

-Also, none of them have pretty much ANY experience with romance so they were both completely clueless when it came to that.

-They tried to do romantic things for each other but about 30 minutes into it turns into a chaotic mess.

-Eventually, they gave up on doing the romantic stuff and now all their "dates" are just going out drinking with each other or doing stupid shit together.

-Also, they cancel out any braincells the other one has. Two wrongs don't make a right after all.

-Their romance is SUPER casual.

-In fact if they didn't constantly make comments about how hot the other is or kiss each other like every other second you might just think that they just had a really intense bromance.

-Demo's relationship with Zhanna is... complicated.

-Soldier is still dating Zhanna, but Demo is also dating Soldier.

-But surprisingly, Zhanna and Demo do get along pretty well!

-Demoman will just be having a normal day until Soldier runs up to him and will whisper something into his ear and then they will both run off and be gone for the next 8 hours.

-When they do get back it's usually accompanied by problems that they caused.

-Both need parental supervision, are not to be left alone.

- Specifically, cannot be left alone together on the Fourth of July.

-Last time that happened they blew up half the base (and the Intel) and everyone had to stay in a shitty motel for the next two weeks.

-Spy still holds a grudge against them for the incident.

-Honestly, are head over heels for each other.

-Can and will watch with heart eyes as the other brutally beats a Heavy to death.

-On the battlefield it is quite annoying since they will run off together and although they will get a lot of kills, they will cause SO much chaos and will ignore anyone who tells them to stop.

-Also will completely ignore the objective when together.

-They are very open to the other team about their relationship and will casually kiss each other on top of BLU Medics dead body.

(Sorry for being dead, I was on vacation.)

I am so sorry for being dead guys I went on vacation and then I was busy with stuff and I just- sorry for being gone plz forgive me 🙏

HOLY SHIT BABE YES

scout’s VA brings us that A+ phrasing as always

HELL YEAH SHE LOOKS FRICKIN COOL

Yo, all ya’ll reblong this with ur tf2 ocs.

YOO EVERYBODY GIVE ME YOUR HEADCANONS AND ASKS AND STUFF PLEASE I NEED THEM