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#huffle-punk
undercoverpena · 10 months
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Send this to ten other bloggers that you think are wonderful. Keep the game going, make someone smile!!! ♡♡♡ <3
awww thank you lots and lots! I always feel so touched when I get these! 🩷✨
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sinsofsummers · 10 months
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I can’t even explain how much I loved sensational 🫠
ugh THANK YOU so much i’m glad it’s been so well received i was NERVOUS
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rosepascal · 3 months
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Pedro Character Writer Blog Rec List
In no particular order here are some Pedro character writers + their masterlists. This is an ongoing list so it will be updated continuously
If there is no masterlist link it means I couldn't find it.
If you think an acct should be here plz let me know and ill add them!
@coulsons-fullmetal-cellist - masterlist (Dieter Bravo)
@chronically-ghosted - masterlist (Javier Pena, Dieter Bravo, Max Phillips, Marcus Moreno, Marcus Pike, Frankie Morales)
@grogusmum - masterlist (Pero Tovar, Javi G, Oberyn Martell, Ezra, Frankie Morales, Din Djarin)
@huffle-punk - masterlist
@beardedjoel - masterlist (Joel Miller)
@punkette1026 - masterlist (Joel Miller, Frankie Morales, Marcus Pike)
@thefrogdalorian - masterlist (Din Djarin)
@jobean12-blog - masterlist (Joel Miller)
@burntheedges - masterlist (Joel Miller, Frankie Morales, Din Djarin)
@theywhowriteandknowthings - masterlist (Javier Pena, Dieter Bravo, Frankie Morales), Joel Miller, Dave York, Din Djarin)
@covetyou - masterlist (Joel Miller, Dieter Bravo)
@janaispunk - masterlist (Joel Miller, Dave York, Javier Pena)
@gasolinerainbowpuddles - masterlist (Joel Miller)
@missredherring - masterlist (Agent Whiskey, Dieter Bravo, Din Djarin, Eddie BTVS, Ezra, Frankie Morales, Joel Miller, Marcus Pike, Marcus Moreno, Maxwell Lord, Oberyn Martell, Tim Rockford)
@hyzer34 - masterlist (Joel Miller, Frankie Morales)
@beskarandblasters - masterlist (Din Djarin, Joel Miller, Frankie Morales, Ezra, Dieter Bravo, Tim Rockford, Mr. Ben)
@studioghibelli - masterlist (Joel Miller)
@pimosworld - masterlist (Frankie Morales, Joel Miller, Dave York, Javier Pena)
@toomanystoriessolittletime - masterlist (Agent Whiskey, Dieter Bravo, Din Djarin, Dave York, Frankie Morales, Max Phillips, Joel Miller, Marcus Pike, Marcus Moreno, Maxwell Lord, Oberyn Martell, Pero Tovar, Javi G, Javier Pena)
@magpiepills - masterlist (Joel Miller, Frankie Morales, Dieter Bravo, Javi Pena, Marcus Moreno, Ezra, Marcus Pike)
@lincolndjarin - masterlist (Din Djarin, Joel Miller, Agent Whiskey, Frankie Morales, Javier Pena, Ezra)
@thot-of-khonshu - masterlist (Frankie Morales)
@gg-pedro - masterlist
@punkshort - masterlist (Joel Miller)
@wheresarizona - masterlist (Javier Pena, Joel Miller, Dave York, Din Djarin, Frankie Morales, Agent Whiskey, Javi G, Marcus Pike, Max Phillips, Oberyn Martell)
@joelalorian - masterlist (Joel Miller)
@iamasaddie - masterlist (Joel Miller, Javier Pena, Frankie Morales, Veracruz, Dave York, Oberyn Martell, Marcus Pike, Tim Rockford)
@auteurdelabre - masterlist (Joel Miller, Dieter Bravo, Javier Pena, Frankie Morales)
@undercoverpena - masterlist (Javier Pena, Frankie Morales, Joel Miller, Marcus Pike)
@fhatbhabie - masterlist (Joel Miller, Javier Pena, Frankie Morales, Dieter Bravo)
@sweetenerobert - masterlist (Joel Miller, Dave York, Dieter Bravo, Frankie Morales, Oberyn Martell)
@whxtedreams - masterlist (Joel Miller, Javier Pena)
@anabdaniels - masterlist (Agent Whiskey)
@psychedelic-ink - masterlist (Agent Whiskey, Dieter Bravo, Din Djarin, Dave York, Frankie Morales, Max Phillips, Joel Miller, Marcus Pike, Marcus Moreno, Oberyn Martell, Pero Tovar, Javi G, Javier Pena, Ezra)
@hellishjoel - masterlist (Joel Miller, Frankie Morales)
@mypoisonedvine - masterlist (Javier Pena, Din Djarin, Joel Miller, Dieter Bravo, Marcus Moreno, Marcus Pike)
@flightlessangelwings - masterlist (Din Djarin, Veracruz, Joel Miller, Frankie Morales, Marcus Pike, Pero Tovar, Marcus Moreno, Javi G, Ezra, Agent Whiskey, Max Lord)
@penvisions - masterlist (Din Djarin, Joel Miller, Frankie Morales, Javier Pena)
@popcornforone - masterlist (Dave York, Javi Gutierrez, Din Djarin, Tim Rockford, Oberyn Martell, Frankie Morales, Marcus Pike, Max Phillips, Mr. Ben, Joel Miller, Marcus Moreno, Dieter Bravo, Max Lord)
@idolatrybarbie - masterlist (Frankie Morales, Marcus Pike, Dieter Bravo, Max Phillips)
@albertasunrise - masterlist (Frankie Morales, Marcus Pike, Ezra, Din Djarin)
@princessanglophile - masterlist (Oberyn Martell, Din Djarin,
@tightjeansjavi - masterlist (Joel Miller, Javier Pena, Dieter Bravo, Frankie Morales, Javi G)
@morallyinept - masterlist (Ezra, Joel Miller, Frankie Morales, Javier Pena, Dave York, Agent Whiskey, Oberyn Martell, Dieter Bravo, Marcus Pike, Din Djarin, Max Phillips, Marcus Moreno)
@thelastofhyde - masterlist (Javier Pena, Joel Miller)
@honeyedmiller - masterlist (Din Djarin, Joel Miller, Javier Pena, Frankie Morales)
@welcometodrama - masterlist (Joel Miller)
@lumoverheaven - masterlist (Joel Miller)
@swiftispunk - masterlist (Joel Miller, Javier Pena, Ezra, Frankie Morales, Tim Rockford, Marcus Pike, Javi G)
@dilfspitdrinker - masterlist (Joel Miller, Frankie Morales)
@ghotifishreads - masterlist (Joel Miller, Dieter Bravo, Frankie Morales, Tim Rockford)
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burntheedges · 12 days
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600 Followers Celebration
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Y’all!! This is wild. I realized the other day that I started writing my first fic in my notes app on my phone on 4/11/23. I posted the first chapter of that fic in July last year! I am so grateful for each and every one of you. I get so emotional every time someone reads one of my fics. Thank you for being here and being amazing. And I’m so glad you all like fandom bingo (which is still open)!! 🧡🧡🧡
I wanted to do something fun to celebrate. There are two parts -- vote and ask! I'll tag every post for this celebration with #bte600.
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💗 VOTE: vote on the poll under the cut!!  A week or so ago I did an ask game where people sent me made up fic titles and I told you what I would write for them. Well, I got a little carried away and came up with some ideas I'm actually pretty excited about. So now I want you to vote on which one I should actually write next! The poll will be open for a week.
🧡 ASK: Send me any of the emojis below – send me as many as you’d like! But please send one at a time.
❣️shout out Spread the love around and tell me about a fic, author, fan art, or artist on here that you love!
📜fic rec Give me a fandom and a direction and I’ll give you a fic rec. I’ve got more than 9000 bookmarks on ao3 lol bet I can find something! let me know preferences about ships, ratings, content, etc.
(fandoms I’ve read a lot in over the years: all the Pedro boys, Inception (Arthur/Eames), Captive Prince, LOTR/Hobbit, MCU, X-Men, 00Q, Star Trek (various ships), Mass Effect, The Raven Cycle (pynch), Teen Wolf (lol), Stranger Things, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Check Please!, The Witcher, The Sandman, Sherlock, Stargate Atlantis, RWRB, Merlin, ATLA… and more?)
❓question Send me any question, FMK, ask about a headcanon, ask about one of my fics, how I write, ask for commentary on a scene or line, whatever you’d like – I’ll answer it!
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Remember, 💗 vote on the poll under the cut!! 
Let's vote! Which one of these ideas should I work on next? (see more about each at the link) I had to cut one so I cut one of the Frankie ones that was very similar to something I just wrote.
🧡🧡🧡 thanks for being here!
tagging some mutuals for funzies:
@katareyoudrilling @beardedjoel @maggiemayhemnj @goodwithcheese @djarins-cyare
@jupiter-soups @undercoverpena @tightjeansjavi @morallyinept @trulybetty
@gasolinerainbowpuddles @huffle-punk @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @jay-zzle @sheepdogchick3
@joelsgreys @davnittbraes @ghotifishreads @iknowisoundcrazy @jobean12-blog
@punkette1026 @macfrog @skittlesfics @morning-star-joy @futuraa-free
@sempersirens @theywhowriteandknowthings @pr0ximamidnight @janaispunk @toxicanonymity
@chronically-ghosted @beefrobeefcal @ladamedusoif @ilovepedro @javierpena-inatacvest
@kiwisbell @iamasaddie @mrsmando @corazondebeskar @minimeiser
@mermaidgirl30 @kedsandtubesocks @covetyou @nedgooel @wildemaven
@secretelephanttattoo @theclairvoyage @sawymredfox @julesonrecord
...
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jobean12-blog · 6 months
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Dressed to Impress
Pairing: Joel Miller x reader (Pre/No!Outbreak)
Word Count: 3,057
Summary: You and Sarah manage to convince Joel to dress up for Halloween. He's not too excited about it but agrees anyway. However, once he see's your costume...Halloween jus tmight be his new favorite holiday.
Author's Note: This is part of my kinktober celebration and the PPCU Halloween event. Thank you bunches to Sel @jupiter-soups and Harley @huffle-punk for setting it up! 💕💕love and hugs! I took two prompts; one from fluff: You and Sarah convince Joel to dress up for Halloween. He isn't thrilled. And one from smut: You surprise Joel by dressing up for Halloween as something that he has mentioned finding sexy. For the second prompt I didn't get specific because I figured it would be more fun for the reader to imagine their own sexy costume- whatever you wear- Joel LOVES it. I also want to thank my dear friends @flordeamatista and @mrsmischief209 for helping me with Joel's costume, you're both amazing! ❤️💕Thank you all so much for reading and much love always! ❤️❤️❤️
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Warnings: it's fun and fluffy, silly and soft, lots of flirting and tension, Joel is sweet but definitely grumpy, reader has some sass, semi-public f-in-g-e-ri-ng, light d-ir-t-y talk, it's a whole ride lol
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Kinktober 2023 Masterlist
Joel Miller Masterlist
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“No.”
His hands land on his hips as he stares back at you.
“But Joel, it’ll be…”
Your words are cut off by his second, “no.”
“Joel!” you whine.
“Darlin’,” he warns.
You stick your bottom lip out in a pout and give him your best sad eyes.
“Still no,” he says.
You change tactics.
With a sweet smile you step into his space and press yourself against him.
“I know it’s not your favorite idea but don’t you want to do it for me? Make me happy?”
His hands falls from his hips and land on yours, pulling you closer.
“Now you’re playin’ dirty angel.”
Your lips curve into a wicked smile. “I can play much dirtier than this if you want.”
You lift your fingers to his hair and comb them through, lightly scratching his scalp before they slide down the back of his neck and trace his jaw.
With a light brush of your lips you whisper, “please Joel. Just this once. I promise it’ll be worth it.”
You kiss him before he can answer and you feel his low growl rumble through his chest as he pushes you against the wall of the bedroom.
With rushed hands you pull at his tee shirt, tugging it up and over his head. Your fingers caress his warm skin as his lips kiss and nip at your neck.
“Joel,” you moan.
He grabs your thigh, lifting it to spread you open so he can settle between you legs.
“Now who’s playing dirty,” you gasp when you feel his hardness press into your stomach.
His hand slides higher and his fingers dip into the waistband of your leggings.
“You started it,” he murmurs.
“Is that a yes then?” you ask, trying to keep your voice steady as his fingers tease your skin.
His cell phone rings before he can answer and you both let out a frustrated groan.
“One guess who’s callin’,” he grumbles.
He grabs his phone from his jeans pocket and flips it open, his eyes never leaving yours.
“Hey,” he says which you follow right after with, “hey tommy,” loud enough so he can hear it on the other end of the line.
Joel reluctantly releases you and takes a step back but his intense gaze tracks your every move while you fix your clothes.
As you start to walk out of the room you sing out, “since you didn’t say no that time, I’m going to take it as a maybe!”
Before you get out of the doorway he comes up behind you and smacks your ass, making you squeal. His arm wraps around your waist and he drags your back to his bare chest, his soft breath tickling your ear when he whispers, “a maybe.”
You can hear Tommy on the other end of the line asking what the hell is going and when you look over your shoulder Joel’s eyes are dark, his ‘maybe’ and so much more hanging in the air between you both.   
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“How many times did he say no?” Sarah asks the moment you walk into the kitchen.
“Only three times,” you smile.
She blows out a raspberry and stabs her eggs with her fork.
“BUT!” you continue. “I think I’ve got him at a maybe now and if you lay it on thick we might be able to convince him.”
Sarah smiles deviously and when you hear Joel’s heavy footfalls on the stairs you both straighten your shoulders in preparation.
“Hey dad,” Sarah chimes brightly when he walks in.
You match her smile and offer him a hot cup of fresh coffee.
He looks between you both, his lips pursed and his eyes narrowed.
“Don’t even try…” he begins.
“BUT DAD,” Sarah interjects, “we all have to dress up. You can’t come trick or treating otherwise!”
“Who said I wanna go trick or treating?,” he says before sipping his coffee.
Both you and Sarah give him a stern look.
“YOU HAVE TO!” you both shout.
He sighs and sits down at the table.
“PLEASE,” Sarah says. “We can think of something awesome for you to dress up as.”
“I already have an idea,” you say, clasping your hands together in excitement. “You’ll look amazing.”
You wink at Sarah and she grins before turning pleading eyes to Joel.
You grab your plate and seat yourself on Joel’s spread thigh, curling into him and grabbing his fork to feed him a bite of eggs.
“Please,” you say softly.
Joel studies your face before he moves his eyes to Sarah.
“Fine,” he mumbles then takes the bite of eggs off the fork.
You and Sarah let out an excited cheer. Sarah hops out of her seat and comes around the table to kiss Joel’s cheek. You do the same on the other side.
He grumbles out something unintelligible but you can see the smile playing upon his lips.
“See you guys later,” Sarah says as she grabs her schoolbag and rushes toward the door.
Just before she’s out of the house she turns back and looks at Joel to say, “your tee shirt’s inside out.” Then she disappears out the door.
You giggle into your hand but quickly press your lips together to suppress any further joy when Joel pins you with a glare.
“Shit,” he says, looking down.
“Oops,” you say with feigned innocence and a shrug of your shoulders.
With a smug smile you hold up the fork again. “You have to eat more before you’re late.”
He looks up and takes the bite but then removes the fork from your hand.
“Oh I plan on it darlin’,” he simpers.
He swats at your ass until you get up and then promptly moves the dishes over and sits you on the edge of the table.
“Joel…” you breathe out as your arms wrap around his neck.
Just as his thumbs hook into your leggings you hear the loud clunk and roll of Tommy’s truck.
“Ah fuck,” Joel sighs, dropping his face to your neck.
You let out a little whimper and cling to him.
“Later,” he promises before kissing you softly.
Tommy barges in all smiles.
“Hey you two,” he greets.
Joel mumbles some form of a greeting and you go give Tommy a hug.
Tommy gives you a squeeze then looks to Joel. “What up his ass?”
“He agreed to dress up for Halloween this year,” you answer happily.
Tommy grins and walks over to Joel, slapping him on the back. “Shit brother, your girls can get you to do anything huh?”
You do a little happy victory dance as you place the dishes in the sink.
“Come on,” Joel says to Tommy, “let’s go.”
“What about my breakfast?” Tommy asks, checking the pan.
“We’ll pick you somethin’ up on the road,” Joel sighs.
You gently pat Tommy on the back. “There would have been pancakes but we’re out of mix.”
Tommy gives you a lopsided smile and then grabs the last piece of toast.
“See you later babe,” Tommy says before he heads back out to the truck.
He takes one last look at Joel, the toast dangling between his fingers as he points and says, “your tee shirt’s inside out.”
With another muttered curse Joel grabs the back of his shirt and pulls it over his head.
He stalks toward you at the counter, caging you against it with his arms on either side of your body.
“You,” he whispers as he leans in and bumps his nose along yours, “are all mine when I get home.”
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“Is all this gel really necessary?” he asks as you run your fingers through his hair for the hundredth time.
You stand between his spread legs and look him over, adjusting a piece of hair here and there.
“Yes. It is,” you state. “Eeeeeee Joel!”
After wiping your hands you check his bow tie, pulling on the ends to tighten it before you straighten it again.
“PERFECT! Sarah get in here!”
You grab Joel’s hand and drag him to his feet. Sarah rushes in and immediately gives out a loud ‘whoop’ before laughing.
“Dad this is so good,” she says. “You look just like Gomez!”
Joel turns to look in the mirror, his expression full of his usual grumpiness.
“Well, you’ve already got the grumpy look down perfectly,” you tease.
He just scoffs as he lifts his fingers to touch his hair.
“DON’T!” you tell him. “Just leave it!”
“You look amazing,” you tell Sarah. “Super scary.”
Sarah smiles and does a twirl to show off the full affect of her costume.
“You look great sweetheart,” Joel says before his eyes slide back to you.
“What about you darlin’? Where’s your costume?” he asks.
“Oh, I’m going to get ready now,” you say with a twinkle of your fingers. “See you downstairs.”
You pepper his face with kisses before shooing him away.
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You’re just applying the finishing touches to your make-up when you hear Joel coming up the stairs.
“Angel, are you almost rea….?”
His words die on his parted lips as he takes you in, his eyes traveling hungrily from your head to your toes.
“Well?” you ask, smoothing your hands down your body.
The grind of his jaw says it all and your smile grows.
“Joel…?” you purr. “Couldn’t wait for me to come downstairs?”
He walks all the way into the room and shuts the door.
“I wanted to see what was takin’ so long…”
“Well I’m ready now,” you sing with a sweet smile. “Let’s go.”
He stops you with his body, his heat washing over you and his mouth dipping to your ear.
“You think I’m goin’ trick or treating and to some party with you lookin’ like this?”
“Like what?” you ask, your tone demure.
The air between you is charged and disappearing by the inch.
“Darlin’,” he murmurs, his breathe a whisper along the shell of your ear.
You look at him through your lashes, the light scruff of his beard brushing your cheek and making you sigh out his name.
“We’re going to be late and Sarah is waiting….”
You step back and hear his sound of disapproval deep in his throat. It makes you shiver.
His eyes are glued to you as you turn and open the door and when you meet his gaze again it’s filled with heat and filthy promises.
When you enter the kitchen Sarah whistles loudly and grins. “WOW!”
You give her a bright smile and start toward the door. “Time to trick or treat!”
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Once Sarah has plenty of candy you usher her off to her friends house for the night. They are having a sleepover with scary movies and lots of sugar.
As soon as Sarah is safely delivered to her new destination Joel settles his hand at your lower back and starts to push you back toward the house.
“Did you forget we have to stop by the neighbors house for the adult party?” you giggle.
He stops walking and presses himself against your back. “Don’t you think I’ve suffered enough today angel?”
“No,” you state, turning to face him. “I don’t think you’ve suffered at all in fact.”
Joel opens his mouth to argue but you press your finger to his lips.
“I’ve seen you smile and I know you love how much everyone is gushing over your costume and it won’t kill you to hang out with some friends for a couple of hours.”
He kisses your finger and then grabs your wrist to pull your hand away.
“An hour,” he growls.
“Two,” you counter.
He stares at you daringly, leaning forward and covering the inches between you, his eyes falling to your lips.
“And it’ll be your fault when I drag you somewhere dark and get my fingers inside you.”
Your breathy sigh is followed by a lick of your lips, Joel’s eyes following the movement with a hungry stare.
You don’t respond, not trusting yourself when your brain and body are consumed by him, and instead take his hand and move in the direction of the party.
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“All the beer is still warm so I got you wine.”
You hold the glass out for him then search for a seat. When you see there aren’t any left you situate yourself on his thigh and rest yourself along his shoulder.
He takes a sip of the wine, eyeing you over the rim.
“Any good?” you ask.
Without an answer he curls his hand around the back of your neck and drags you down for a kiss, giving you a taste.
“Mm,” you hum against his lips. “Yummy.”
You chat with some of your neighbors, snacking and sipping your drink.
“You’re pulling off the whole grumpy Gomez thing really well,” you tease when there’s a lull in conversation.
“Who said I’m grumpy?” Joel replies with a smirk.
You dance your fingers up his chest and then lightly scratch them over his beard.
“I want another kiss,” you whisper.
He happily obliges but when you press yourself closer, shifting in his lap, he groans out a curse and pulls away.
At your questioning look he sighs.
“Darlin’…unless you want to stay in this chair for the rest of the night you better stop kissing my like that and wiggling your ass.”
You move again, unintentionally, and the hardness between his legs pushes against you.
“Oh,” you squeak. “Ohhh….”
He tightens his grip, his fingers digging into your skin in warning.
“Behave.”
“I’ll be good,” you promise with a slow blink.
“That’ll be a first,” he mutters.
You kiss him again, giggling when he starts to squirm beneath you.
“Oops.”
“I’d smack your ass right here and now if it weren’t for the creepy neighbor.”
“Creepy…?” you repeat and look around.
You lock eyes with your neighbor from across the street. He’s starting, his eyes blatantly roaming over your curves.
“I’m gonna knock his teeth out,” Joel threatens with a low rumble.
“He’s definitely drunk Joel. Not worth it.”
“He’s starin’ at what’s mine.”
You take Joel’s chin between your fingers, dragging his murderous gaze away from the neighbor until he’s focused on you.  
“Come on, let’s go get some fresh air,” you whisper.
You rise from his lap and he takes your hand, keeping you close as you work your way around the crowd of people in the living room. When you reach the back door he holds it open for you and ushers you outside, walking you toward a darkened spot on the side of the house.   
He lets out a deep exhale before grabbing your waist.
“Finally,” he says, in a hushed, rumbling voice as he pulls your back against his chest.
His hand slides along your side, tracing the curve of your waist before he closes his fingers around your wrist and lifts your hand to his mouth, kissing softly along your knuckles.
“What a Gomez move,” you tease lightly even as you melt into his embrace.
His free hand brushes along your shoulder and his fingers dance along your neck until he tilts your chin back, exposing more of your skin. With teasingly soft kisses he works his way to the spot just under your ear and whispers, “lift your dress.”
“Joel,” you breathe out, your voice wavering when he nips on your earlobe.
“Angel, I’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?”
His hands wander along your skin, kneading and squeezing as he goes. When he finds your ass cheek he grips it hard. You don’t answer, arching against him, and when he gives you a sharp smack you cry out.
“Is this my punishment?” you ask as you catch your breath.
He smacks you again, soothing the sting with soft caress.
“Lift your dress,” he repeats, his voice low and deep.
Your fingers reach down for the hem and you slowly lift the front, whimpering when his hand leaves your ass and slides across your stomach and between your legs.
“Someone might see,” you gasp even as you spread your legs for him.
“Fuck darlin’,” he groans when he feels the wet patch on your panties.
His finger brushes over the damp fabric and he wraps his other arm around your shoulders to keep you pressed to his chest, his touch torturously light.
When he pushes your panties to the side and slides his fingers through your arousal he lets out hum of satisfaction.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs.
His finger slips inside you easily, pumping slowly in and out as he continues his kisses along your neck.
“You feel beautiful, too.”
He slides a second finger into you and growls, the sound vibrating right through you.
“Joel please…please,” you beg as your legs start to shake.
His grip tightens and he pushes his fingers deeper, pressing on your clit with his thumb. You wiggle and writhe against him, chasing your release as it builds.
“Joel,” you hiss through gritted teeth, trying your best to remain quiet.
He curls his fingers just right and continues circling your clit, the tightening of your walls giving him enough warning to slide his hand over your mouth and muffle your cries as you buck against him.
You slowly come down and sag into his strong hold.
He draws out your pleasure, pumping his fingers with deliberation and whispering praises in your ear.
“That’s my good girl,” he coos. “Letting me to fuck you with my fingers even when someone might see.”
He still has his hand clamped over your mouth, softening your continued moans.
“I’m taking you home,” he states, leaving no room for argument. 
He slowly removes his fingers and releases his hold on you. You turn in his arms and watch as he slips his soaked fingers between his lips and licks them clean.
“First I’m goin’ to get a better taste and then I’m goin’ to fuck you good and hard.”
You let out a whimper of want and drag your hand down his chest, palming the hardness between his legs.
He stops you with a firm hold on your wrist and your lips part to argue but he interrupts, dipping his head and brushing his mouth across yours when he whispers, “no, not here angel. I don’t want to miss a single sound that falls past these pretty lips when I’m buried deep inside you.” 
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@hiddles-rose @lorilane33 @littleseasiren @lizette50 @blackwidownat2814
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nerdieforpedro · 5 months
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The Brave, The Bold, The Dirty - Fanfics that I adore
Volume 3
Fanfics that I am currently reading or re-read because they’re that good!! 😊
This list is for those aged 18 and up, please respect the author's tags, warnings and notes as they are there for a reason.
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(Normally I write a few sentences about each fic but I added so many because I caught up on my reading - so brevity. I also indicated a few that aren’t about a Pedro character.)
Back Alley Bang by @morallyinept
Paranoid Heart by @goodwithcheese
It’s Never Too Late by @javierpena-inatacvest
Honey Stained Hands by @undercoverpena
The Gift by @mandoisapunk
Tell me how it’s lookin’ babe by @beskarandblasters
Medicine by @goodwithcheese
Into the Beat of the Night by @perotovar
Sequins by @trulybetty
Quickstep by @farawayfromwanting
Rendezvous in Reno by @theywhowriteandknowthings
For a Good Time Call…Tommy by @missredherring
Sweet Treat by @mrsmando
Heart of Beskar by @theywhowriteandknowthings
Giving Thanks and Giving Thanks part 2 by @linzels-blog
Honey Smoke Lemon and Oak by @sunnygrey99
Deserve it by @huffle-punk
Meet me at the Farmer’s Market by @chiriwritesstuff
Cravings by @pedge-page
Hold Tight by @sin-djarin
Right where We belong by @flightlessangelwings (A Loki fic just FYI)
Las Mañanas by @kiwisbell
Diner Girl by @katiexpunk
Nothing that I Didn’t Know by @for-a-longlongtime
Learning Curves by @ezrasbirdie
I’m here and Affirmations by @davnittbraes
Sleezy Santa by @morallyinept
Jester little bit more by @covetyou
Safe with me by @musings-of-a-rose (Robbie Reyes)
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chronically-ghosted · 6 months
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Third Base.
rating: 18+, explicit
pairing: max phillips x f!reader
word count: 9K
summary: after the last session went awry, you and max don't know how to be around each other. two months after a blow out fight, max catches you in the parking lot and decides it's time to talk.
warnings: angst, is that plot i smell? period sex (oral), impossible positions but he has super strength and doesn't breathe so shut up, semi-public sex, car sex, some briefly scary imagery (it's a dream), monsterfucking, mentions of a car accident and injuries related, arguing, max being a dick
a/n: MASSIVE shoutout to @jupiter-soups , @beardedjoel , @gasolinerainbowpuddles , @covetyou and @huffle-punk for giving me their blessing to do a vampire + period sex fic. The discord ladies really came in clutch here 👌i hope this makes you as horny as that thread made me
i wanted to get this out by halloween, but that didn't fucking happen so here's a fic that mentions halloween as a plot device. fun fact: orgasms can bring on your period early so no it’s not your 🐈 that’s sore it’s your uterus lining shuffling off
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You’re warm. Everything is warm. You’ve sunk beneath a fresh layer of volcanic ash, heartbeat pulsing with the lazy roll of molten lava at the heart of the mountain. Hands outstretched, you can’t find the edge of the mattress because there isn’t one. 
There is only warmth and rocking, gentle waves.
There is only this.
There is only him. 
Shoulders hunched between your legs, his tongue is a hard muscle, leverage against which you grind and shift and when you find that spot together, you throb in sync with the rush of blood to your cunt and sink a little deeper into the endless sheets that flutter against your skin like paper in the wind. 
Your lips form the shape of his name but in the sigh that leaves your mouth, you can’t be sure if you called out to him or if everything coherent had been swallowed up in a cry of listless pleasure. But he responds all the same. The vibrations in his chest between your thighs, his tongue wrapped around your clit, nearly tear you over the edge that very second – you cry out, not wanting this to end, not wanting to leave this hearth of him, folded over you as if you were made of fine ceramic and he was a fiery kiln. You arch, your release dangerously close, and his grip around your thighs tightens, tightens, pulling you deeper down into his face, his nose, that wicked, wicked tongue, and his grip tightens and it hurts. His fingers, his nails, pinch down into you, your flesh swells between his knuckles as if he’s going to tear straight through your skin, your muscles, your bones – and you yelp. 
It’s not fun any more.
You struggle, but he’s on you too tight, a riptide sucking you under. You try and kick him off, push him off with your hands but it’s no use.
Everything is cold and metal and it hurts and you’re begging him to let you go, let you live, when those fangs, as sharp and jagged as steak knives, suddenly embed themselves in your thigh. Your hips jerk with the force of it, with the agony as he slices your femoral artery and drinks deep. And then he bites your other thigh, tearing through your flesh, turning the cradle of your thighs into dripping viscera. 
Max, you think you beg, the fight all but drained out of you as your blood flows freely from between his fingers, from the gashes in your thighs, your throat, your wrists. He’s torn out chunks of you and swallowed them whole. 
Max.
The creature lifts its head, its eyes blood-red, pupils black as the darkest night, mouth twisted and wrenched open screaming, four glistening bone-white fangs, dripping blood, your blood, your life, your flesh. Begging won’t save you now. 
It snarls, the sound pinching off like a dying woman’s scream, inch-long talons tearing up your hips as it crawls forward, crawls into your throat and just before it delivers the killing bite, it whispers:
You asked for this.
The first thing you see when you jerk out of the nightmare is the crease of your pillow, looking up at it from the plush of your mattress. Your cheek smushed into your blue sheets, duvet tangled between your legs, the horror of the nightmare still pressed into the corners of your brain like a tacky, sticky film, you can’t quite understand what you’re looking at. The adrenaline is fast in your blood, heart pounding, your unconscious mind unable to determine what is real and what is not, safety or danger, and your fingers dig into your sleep shorts, arms tucked up underneath you. You blink twice, the headache from yesterday returning, your swollen, black eye almost immediately painful, and then you realize the pounding you hear is not your final heartbeats, but someone at your door. 
That buzzing is not the last conscious thoughts in your head fizzling out, but your phone on silent, humming incessantly. Groaning from the pins and needles that shoot up your arm after having slept on it all night, you flop onto your back, your other wrist twinging painfully in its flesh-colored wrap, as you crawl to the edge of your bed – which is thankfully in sight. You can’t pick up your phone with your dead-fish arm and your twisted wrist so you answer the call without looking and put it on speaker.
“Hello?” 
“Why aren’t you at work?” His voice is clipped, short, pissed. As if he was your actual boss and not the sales manager, while you worked in legal. After the dream, it immediately sets you on edge. Every major part of you is sore and hurts, either from the accident, or sleeping so hard you figured you briefly went into a coma. 
“What’s it matter to you? I called my department and told them I’d be out.”
“Yeah, and I had to find out from Tim.” The pounding from down the hall gets louder and suddenly you connect the two. It should be illegal to be this furious minutes after waking up. “Open the door,” he snaps into the silence over the phone. 
“Are you fucking serious right now? You’re at my apartment?”
“Yes, now open the fucking door.” 
You chew your lip because you genuinely do not want to see him right now. There’s a reason you called Tim to pick you up after someone T-boned the back of your car yesterday evening and the plausible excuse is that he lives in the same apartment complex as you. 
“Open the door right now or I swear –,”
“Alright, jesus. Gimme a fuckin’ –,”
You shrug on your cardigan, hissing as you bend your shoulder. 
“What was that?” You swear his voice takes on an edge, catching on something and tearing just enough to let something vulnerable bleed through. 
“It’s nothing – I –,” you twist your other shoulder into the arm of the cardigan, the phone pinched up against your ear. “Jesus – okay, fuck this, just stay there and don’t break down my door.”
You pound the red button with your thumb and launch your phone onto your bed before you limp lightly down the hall, the weight on your right ankle just a little less than on your left. It’s half a second difference in your regular gait, but something tells you he’ll know.
He’s across your threshold before you have the door fully open, glaring around your dark apartment as if it personally had a hand in keeping him outside in the hallway. There’s something frenetic in the way he moves, in the way he stands, even if he is completely still. It’s the same sort of wired energy that is usually reserved for end-of-quarter deadlines, isolated to sustained knee bouncing or wearing out the spring of a pen with one too many clicks. Max is . . . uneasy.
“Well?” He rounds on you, hands on his hips, as if you’d just been caught pilfering through the company supply cabinet for ink cartridges to sniff and get high. You’d never been on the receiving end of Max’s bad temper before – in fact, you’d been the solution to it for quite some time now. You’d seen him go off on a vendor that screwed up an order or chew out the competition, but not this. Not that tense jaw that can’t find a place to settle, eyes narrowed in warning. Don’t test me. 
“Well, what?” Maybe you should have changed out of your pastel blue pajamas before coming to face your co-worker/occasional sex-fiend/boyfriend(?) but it’s too late now. You try to stand as tall as you can, arms crossed. 
“You wanna tell me why you weren’t at work today and I had to hear from Tim – fucking sandwich-eating, wormy-mustache, sword-dildo Tim – that you’d been in a goddamn car accident.”
“It was minor and he lives in my building,” you respond, chin high.
His eyebrows arch as his mouth twists indignantly. “So minor your car wasn’t drivable?”
Point 1 for Max. You bristle, fighting the heat on your cheeks. “It was just easier to call him. He picked me up, dropped me off with some painkillers and some juice, and left. I didn’t fuck him if that’s what you’re worried about.” 
He picks up on a thread you didn’t expect him to follow. “He gave you . . . juice?” 
“Yes. His sister is a nurse and it was something about the adrenaline and sugar in orange juice – and I don’t know – it was comforting, at the time.”
“Comforting?” He asks like it’s a foreign concept. Something alien and unnatural. “What, like he gave you a hug or something?”
Your stomach turns on something sour. “Sure, Max, yeah. He could see I was upset and he did the terrible, horrible thing of giving me a hug when he saw I was in pain.”
“So was it a minor accident or not?” He takes a step forward and you remember how much bigger he is than you. How wide his hands are. “Fuck, can you turn on a light? I’m fucking straining to see anything.”
The migraine had set in moments after you closed the door behind Tim and like a creature retreating to lick their wounds, you shut off every single light in your apartment and close the blinds tight. You stick a comment about vampire sight up between your teeth and switch on the lamp by your couch. 
You catch a glimpse of that pretty face cut with sharp, angry lines and flared nostrils, before it flickers, fades out when he spots the black eye, the wrist splint you forget to hide with your sleeve before it’s too late, the way you hold your weight off your sensitive ankle. 
For some reason, you can’t look him in the eyes, so you watch as the taut line of his shoulders deflates, his wide hands with his thick fingers slide bonelessly off his hips, how he stands up right instead of that aggressive forward lean, reserved only for what you thought he saw as enemies.
He swallows whatever was sitting behind his teeth and stares.
Where he had been even temporarily vulnerable with you days ago, it’s your turn to shy away, hiding your tender spots. 
Guilt washes up to your eyeballs the longer he stares silently, taking in every bruise and bump. You hate the fact you feel guilty, and you hate that you don’t know where the guilt comes from or why it sits so heavy in your chest. 
The truth of the matter is you did think about calling him. In fact, he was the first name you pulled up on your now cracked phone, but sitting on a curb outside of a gas station as a tow truck came to take your car away, you scrolled down past him. 
The truth of the matter is Max hasn’t been back in your apartment since the night you went to second base and he bit you on your tit. In fact, he’s been avoiding you in the office for days now. When he wouldn’t meet your eyes over the coffee machine, it became easier and easier to wonder if this was the same man who set out all those candles for you, who put down all of those insane precautions to keep himself from going too far, who couldn’t help but vibrate with pleasure as he drank from you. First base had gone over without a hitch, but something went wrong that night and he’d sooner let the relationship fizzle out than talk about it. 
The following shower that night had been awkward and uncomfortable, too close and the steam too hot. He left shortly there after, only a handful of mumbled words exchanged, and he hadn’t come back.
So, maybe, sitting there, your head aching, your wrist pinching, you wanted him to feel as abandoned as you had.
“I’m a little . . . banged up, alright?” Your fingertips brush the edges of the Ace bandage around your palm when your fingers curl and uncurl, your head tilted just off center as if you could hide the swelling from him. “Nothing that a few days of rest can’t fix, so you really didn’t need to come over.”
“Rest and juice, right?” The look in his eyes is raw, rubbed down into nothingness, blackness, totality. 
“Oh, fuck off,” you snap, “it wasn’t like that and you fucking know it.” 
His head tilts as if considering your words, or considering something else, and by the time you open your eyes in a millisecond blink, he’s got your chin in his palm, his fingers curled up your cheek, thumb firmly pressed into your jaw. Dark eyes roving, he’s inspecting every cut, every bruise, every hair out of place. 
Irate at the hot flush low in your stomach at the way he grips you, you push against his chest, yowling out some disgruntled noise, but that only makes him squeeze you tighter. He doesn’t even look you in the eye. 
“I’ve healed much worse than this,” he murmurs, breath smelling deliciously of mint and not a hint of anything metallic. “Especially on you.” 
His thumb brushes dangerously close to the rim of your purple and green eye and while even the slightest touch stings, it’s nothing compared to the bite of pain his words and soft tone inflict. You give him one more good shove and he backs off, thumb swiping briefly against your chin. His mouth is a straight line when he finally meets your glare. 
“I didn’t call you because I didn’t think you gave a shit, Max.” You’ve been in tense business negotiations all your adult life so standing your ground and not crying is something that has become second nature to you. And yet, your eyes grow hot and tight all the same. You’re not crying, but your body is remembering how good it feels to do so. “Ever since that night, you’ve been acting like I’m diseased or something. You made it pretty clear we’re not actually dating, so I called Tim because it was the path of least resistance. I was tired and I hurt and I didn’t want anything complicated. And I didn’t tell you because quite frankly I didn’t think you’d notice I wasn’t there unless the breeze blew the wrong way and your dick got hard.” Every unanswered text and call straight to voicemail over the last two weeks flashes in your mind and your wrist twinges painfully as you gesture to your bedroom. “Because that’s what this is, right? Just a good fuck? A good time? For the record, you didn’t ruin that lingerie set. I put it on cold in the washer and the blood came right out, okay? Everything is totally fucking fine.”
You don’t realize how loud you’d gotten until your apartment rings with silence. It is the absence of noise, of only one set of lungs in use, that makes it so loud. 
Max’s jaw still hasn’t found a place to settle, to calm himself. He purses his lips as his bottom teeth grind against the top. His eyes are unreadable, black coals in his head, instead of that gooey warmth you swear you’ve only seen in your direction. He swallows once before opening his mouth.
“So then, do you want me to fix you? Just so we can get back to fucking and I can get what I came here for.”
Soft. Quiet. A rattlesnake you don’t see coming until its fangs are in your foot, pumping you full of poison. 
“Get the fuck out of my house. Right now. Leave.”
As if mocking you, he walks out the front door. He could be out and gone before you draw your next breath, but he chooses to click his fucking Armani leather shoes across your tile, open the door – the knob demonstrably small in his massive hand – and slam shut so hard the painting on the wall shudders. 
If the shower had been a separation by omission, this had been the real thing.
The heat behind your eyes becomes unbearable, sharp, painful as you begin to choke on everything you didn’t say to him lodged in your throat. Vision blurry, you yank your curtains close and flip the light switch, plunging the apartment back into darkness. 
It’s not until you’re curled up on your side in bed, duvet over your head, that the tears come. They’re silent, you’ve only ever known how to cry silently, but they fall fast, dripping off your nose. You squeeze your eyes shut and your black eye throbs, a thunderbolt in a storm. You cry out and touching it makes it worse and you cry because it hurts and you cry because you’re pathetic and you cry because, worst of all, you didn’t make Max realize what a fucking asshole he is.
It’s not until you wake up at two in the morning, suddenly and without a descent, that you realize Max walked into your apartment without a jacket on, his sleeves rolled up and his tie loose. As if he had heard the news and immediately left the office to come to you.
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Days pass. And days turn into weeks. It’s two months later and you haven’t heard a word from him.
Everyone at the office has been very considerate about your injuries – holding doors for you as you hobbled through them, your team taking on more client-facing calls while your eye healed, typing up the last bits of the reports when your wrist started to ache. For a company that employed literal hell-spawn, you’d been rather touched by the kindness everyone showed you. 
Even Tim. Who offered, after clarifying he definitely wasn’t hitting on you (if only because he feared the legal repercussions you could bring down on him like a smiting hammer) to drive you home while your car got fixed. Those nights when Evan sat in the back because they were headed to a DnD session afterwards were always a little awkward. 
Everyone helped out, except one person. A significant person that made your chest twinge every time you saw his door close seconds after you came into the breakroom. You could hear your sister’s scolding voice now: never fuck where you eat.
For sleeping with a vampire, you supposed that statement was doubly true. 
As the world turned towards winter, night came early and stayed longer, eager for mischief. The air grew thin, cold, trees sagging, turning brown, and molting. There’s a smell to the air that usually excites you, usually makes you smile and yearn for your couch and a long movie night. But not this time.
Halloween falls on a Monday this year and given the majority of its workforce still remember when it was called Samhain, it’s a company holiday. Ahead of a long weekend, this late, the office is empty. With nothing (and no one) to greet you at home, you stay until it could be officially counted as pathetic to keep working in an empty and dark building, before powering down your laptop, gathering your things for what you foresee as just a long working weekend, and locking your office for the night. 
Paper bats hung from the ceiling, with orange and black table clothes thrown over tables in the break room. Cardboard witches and zombies grinned wickedly from the dark corners, woolen webs with freakishly large spiders hiding near the ceiling. The office manager, Carla, has really outdone herself this year, you think, as you unplug the rows of purple and orange lights looping around the ceiling tiles. With your leftover lasagna from Amanda (who insisted you still needed someone to make you dinner), you flick off any remaining lights, the red exit signs guiding you out in the dark. 
His office door is open, not unheard of but not common. 
The room is dark, so maybe he left early and just forgot to lock up. Your chest tightens at the thought that he ran out of there in a hurry because he was eager to meet up with someone, a pretty someone who looked great in a set of heels and had a fang fetish. You swallow; one of a dozen scenarios you’ve tortured yourself with over the past few weeks, particularly painful. 
It’s strange, to go on and live your life when there has been a fundamental and irrevocable change, when there is nothing where there once was something – an outline almost visible as though the air itself was trying desperately to remember, to hold on. 
Your eyes grow hot and you blame it on season allergies when you wipe your eyes with your palm. You blame it on the steady headache you’ve had all day. You blame it on the irritability that’s been rubbing you the wrong way for days now. You blame it on the lack of sleep you can never seem to get enough of. Fuck, is it possible to drink yourself into a wine coma? You’d really love to find out. 
Without the sun, the wind is particularly chilling, curling over the collar of your jacket and pinching the back of your neck. Your feet ache, the plastic holding the lasagna is starting to sweat, and you’re pretty sure you’ve got a run in your nylons. Fighting back a shiver, you unlock your car and toss everything into the passenger’s seat when you hear your name. 
For a fraction of a second, you think it’s the wind. That your mind has been circling its own loneliness for so long, it’s taking pity on your pathetic ass and imagining comfort out of thin air. But you hear it again, stilling with one foot in your car, hand on the door. Your name – quiet, reserved, purposeful. 
So unlike him. 
“Can we talk?”
Just get in the car. Just get in, turn it on, and drive. Your fingers bite into the cold metal. 
“Max, it’s late and I’m exhausted –,” 
“Then I’ll make it quick.” 
His long coat flutters around his knees in the uneasy breeze, his hands in his pockets. You can’t really see his face in the shadows between the streetlights. 
You haven’t moved. One foot on the floor of your car, hand on the door. He sighs and tugs at the tie around his neck. You wait.
“You said you’d be quick –,”
His jaw ticks, finds your gaze for the first time. “It’s fucking freezing out – can I at least sit in the car?”
“There’s lasagna.” Max had the unique capacity to trigger your most basic instincts seemingly out of nowhere. Where did he get off demanding anything? You want to stomp your foot and stick your tongue out. “I mean, you have to move the lasagna . . . and some other stuff.”  
Briefly thankful for the dark shadows to hide your childish blush, you plop into the car seat without looking back at him. His figure moves around the car and you make the express decision to make him deal with all your shit in the passenger's seat. But to your enormous surprise (and swelling embarrassment), he gathers your briefcase, the plastic container, and your empty coffee mug without comment and puts them gently in the backseat – without flinging them or sighing like he just moved mountains. 
Your fingers curl over the stiff steering wheel as he folds his long legs into the car, fighting with his jacket, and grunting a bit when his knees press up against the dashboard. The click as his seat slides backwards to make room is painfully audible. 
The overhead light in your car fades long before either of you say anything. 
“Max, it’s cold and I wanna go home–,”
“Okay, okay, sorry – fuck –,” he twists the coat tighter around his chest, sliding low in his seat like a toddler throwing a tantrum. “Okay. It’s just . . . this isn’t easy and I don’t –,” 
“You don’t what?” You snap, rounding on him, patience finally running out. “You don’t know how to apologize for being a fucking asshole?” 
“No – I mean, yeah, but –,” 
“So you admit it! You were being a shit and you know it!” 
“It’s not like it’s that fucking simple–,” 
“Yeah, it is. It really is, Max. You got scared the last time we were together and you took it out on me the first chance you got.” 
He shoves his palms into his eyes. “Okay, yes, I was scared, but not then. I mean, it freaked me out a little bit, but . . . it wasn’t the bite that got to me.” 
“Yeah? Then what was?” 
He huffs, lowering his hands slowly, his shoulders curving in as his hands drop into his lap. “You told Tim and not me. And,” he adds quickly at your rapidly reddening face, “and for about fifteen minutes, I didn’t know if you were alive or not. I just heard ‘not at work’ and ‘car accident’ and I assumed the worst . . . and because of the way I’ve treated this relationship, you didn’t think about calling me just to let me know you were okay. And . . . I fucked up.” 
You blink. Slowly, then several times rapidly. “You were scared that you lost me.” 
That pained grimace deepens and he scowls at you like you called his Tonka Toy Truck stupid. 
“Don’t say it like that. It makes me sound pathetic.” 
You scowl back. “Would it kill you to be genuine for two seconds? It’s okay to have feelings. Even ones about me.” 
“Of course I have feelings for you,” he rolls his eyes and you want to bite him on his finger. “Why would I put us both through the fucking ringer just so I can bite you if I didn’t care about you?”
“So then if you can easily admit that you have feelings for me, why were you so fucking awkward that last time? Why didn’t you answer your phone? Why were you so fucking mean to me at my apartment?”
“Because I don’t wanna keep this a secret anymore!” 
Your car feels abnormally cramped as all the air is sucked out with a vacuum. But, as a vampire, maybe that’s not a problem for him. 
Or maybe if he stops, he’ll never be able to get it all out. 
His eyes are wide, his broad shoulders pressed up against the door, as if he is trying to escape the confines of the car, or look at you straight on. 
“I want to be the one you call when there’s a problem, not fucking Tim. I want you to know I’d never, ever hurt you, no matter how blood drunk I was. I want . . . I want to stay overnight at your apartment and I want . . .” he trails off, swallowing over the words that are seemingly choking him. “I want to be your . . .”
He murmurs something and you assume you didn’t hear him because you are simply too shocked.
“What?”
Max groans and puts his hands over his face as if he is being physically tortured. 
“I wanna be your boyfriend. In public. At work. All the time. I wanna . . . I wanna tell people I’m your boyfriend and you’re my girlfriend.” He makes a face and sticks his tongue out, grimacing. “And I wanna fucking graduate kindergarten apparently. Get married on the blacktop. Blegh.”  
As he wrestles with the apparently juvenile terms, you fall into speechlessness. There’s a dozen emotions flashing through you like fire embers: relief, anger, embarrassment, curiosity, joy, sadness –
Desire.
Watching his tongue roll around in his mouth, even comically, reminds you exactly why you entered into this relationship/not relationship with him in the first place. 
Mouth finally closing, he lifts his gaze to you, chin tilted down, and you can almost imagine the ears turned back and low on his head.
“And I know that’s not what you want. I didn’t want to say anything but then it all just fucking snowballed, and it’s been killing me not being around you, so when I saw you leave tonight, I thought–,”
“Why do you think that’s not what I want?” Your heart rises, just a bit, in your chest, and you feel it tap against your breastbone. “Why wouldn’t I want to go public?”
Max watches you cautiously, eyebrows drawn down. “HR nightmare for one. But in the beginning, since we didn’t, you know, go public then, I just figured . . . Figured you’d want to end it before calling me your boyfriend.”
“But you didn’t want that either, in the beginning, right?”
He nods, suspicious.
“But things changed for you. And . . . you know . . . things might have changed for me too.”
God, maybe your mom can take pictures of you two together at the kindergarten graduation ceremony. Why is this so fucking hard to talk about? 
Max blinks at you, his turn to be struck silent. 
“So, theoretically, if I stop being an asshole and you call me for all your rides home, I can call you my girlfriend to Tim’s stupid face?” 
“If you’re ready to deal with the HR nightmare,” you say, meaning that and a handful of other things. If you really want to deal with all of that for me.
You swear Max’s eyes twinkle gold for a second. 
“Um, yeah. I mean, I am if you are.”
“I am if you are.”
“I asked you first.”
“I asked you second.” 
A grin sparks across his face, the tension leaving his jaw. Joy crinkles in the corners of his eyes.
“Then I wanna kiss you first.”
Your heart is now knocking between your breastbone and your throat. You nod, swallowing nerves. 
“Finally, something we agree on.” 
For the first time in your memory, Max moves slow, hesitantly, but encouraged by the smirk on your lips. The car still feels small, but now in the best way possible. He leans forward, the console in the middle squeaking as you press your forearm against it, his hand sinking into your hair, nails against your scalp. 
You smell mint, coffee, and finally, something coppery. 
You lick your lip a second before his slot against yours. 
It’s chaste, as chaste as kissing Max Phillips can be. A thoughtful moment of rediscovery, of possibility, of relieved familiarity. He knows just how to turn his head, to press into you, to make you sigh into his mouth.
“Am I forgiven?” He teases, his voice soft and quiet, eyes half open as they take in every pore and feature of your face.
Desire, buttery and warm, melts into sticky arousal between your thighs. The fingers on his chest dig in as you grasp at the material to drag him closer. 
“I think you owe me a base, slugger.”
Max’s eyes widen. “Here? Now?”
“I’m pretty sure the office building is locked up, so unless you have another suggestion–,” 
He groans, hands immediately tugging around your knees to pull you literally out of your seat and into his lap. He grinds your hips down against him, as if he couldn’t help it, and you gasp, embarrassingly turned on from his hands on your hips and his sudden show of strength. That goddamn vampire strength. 
“I missed you so much, you fucking freak,” he mouths against your cheek, his hand squeezing your thigh once before curling around your neck and yanking you into his hot mouth. Your muffled noise comes across as protest and surprise, but he keeps you pinned, his lips and teeth and tongue fighting over themselves to get to your skin first.  “I’ll give you any base you fucking want, but I wanna neck in this car for a bit.”
You nod, quelling the flush of heat between your thighs and the subsequent whimper by burying your hands under his jacket, under his blazer, and tugging his shirt out from his waistband. His skin is cold, despite three layers of clothing and a heated seat. 
Max grunts as you palm his stomach, muscles tightening, and he dips his mouth to your ear, your cheek, your neck. The brush of teeth against your hammering pulse point carries only the threat of pain. His tongue circles your vein like a bullseye. 
His fingers knotted in your hair, Max rolls his hips once, breaking off the kiss to watch the shiver go through you and end in a subtle moan that has you knocking your forehead into his shoulder. 
He mouths your ear, that soft skin just below it, hands rubbing up your hips and inching your skirt up your thighs. 
“Are you sure you want it here?” His words are as gentle as his lips — which is to say not at all. He roughly captures your mouth again before you can answer and sucks your bottom lip between his teeth as if he can bleed the answer from you.
He’s kissing you so hard, your back nudges the dashboard. You respond in retaliation; swirl his tongue with yours like a goddamn preview, hands low on his groin as you push him back. 
“Yes,” you murmur against his mouth. “Yes, Max, please. Here.”
“Then we’re moving the fucking lasagna again.” 
He twists you as he opens the car door, and immediately the wet patch between your thighs is slapped by the cold air. You stumble, shuddering, your nipples tightening in the chilly air. But he’s already knocking everything on the back seat to the floor. Grabbing you and guiding you by your hips to lay back against the pleather and spreading your knees with the brush of his thumbs, his eyes darken as if he can see through your skirt and nylons. Like he can hear your cunt throb for him.
He hovers over you, his Armani fucking shoes hanging off the seat as he kneels on the seat, seemingly struck silent by the sight of you, even with all your clothes on. 
“Max,” you say against the swelling in your chest, “you can bite my calf if biting near my pussy is too much.”
Just the mention of that wet, warm place he is so ridiculously fond of has drawn his attention back from his distant thoughts. 
“So I can’t eat your pussy after I eat your pussy?”
“If you think you can handle it,” you nudge at his elbow with your toes, “go for it.”
Over his shoulder, you can see the wind tug on his jacket, hear it ghost over the treetops, but with his thick, broad body over you, you feel nothing but warm. Max unbuttons his collar and slides his already loose tie from around his neck. He tickles your nose with it before dropping it onto the floor. 
“Leaving this within reach in case you need to scream into something, okay?”
You roll your eyes, flushed hot at the idea that you’re about to have semi-public sex. “You’ve been gone for a while. Maybe you’ve lost your touch.”
Something in his eyes grows dark, sharp, and his chin tilts just slightly. 
“I guess you’ll have to judge that for yourself.” He pushes up your shirt to your throat, exposing your white linen bra (that’s what you get for assuming your sex life was over) and your twitching stomach to his hot, wandering gaze. Before you can pretend to protest being cold, he drops his mouth to the swell of your breast and teases your nipple with his teeth. “You tell me if I’ve lost my touch.”
Immediately, a full body shiver radiates from where his lips suck and you stretch out against the leather, eyes fluttering open and shut. He hasn’t earned a moan yet, a fact he seems acutely aware of when his eyes flick up to watch your face as he palms your other breast. He digs one finger over the cup, curling over the material and grazing your nipple with his nail, when you shake your head. 
“Too public,” you breathe, as you wrap your legs around his waist, tugging him against you because you want to feel how much this affects him too. “Someone could see.”
“But you want me to eat you out? That’s not too public?” He grins as he tucks his face into your neck, lazily rolling his hips because he knows that’s exactly what you want. 
“Just stick your head up my skirt.”
He stills, teeth ghosting your skin. “Yeah?”
You feel him twitch against your thigh and you have to remind yourself not to ask him to full out fuck you in the backseat of your car. You nod, your chin ruffling his hair. His grip on your ribcage tightens, an errant thumb swiping the underside of your breast, as he lets out a noise somewhere between a grunt and a moan.
“Have I told you you’re a fucking freak and how much I love it?”
Your toes curl in your shoes, heart in your ears, and blood hot under your skin. Just as he moves to shuffle back, you cup the back of his neck, turning your teeth and lips to his ear, the hairs there as soft as peach fuzz.
“No. I’m a monsterfucker.”
The sound that escapes him is no longer human, deep, jagged, a warning cry to hunted prey, and you feel just a prick of fangs against your neck. Immediately that rush of endorphins bows your back, a Pavlovian response to be fucked so good over and over again, and you keen into his chest. 
“Max, baby, please–,”
Your cunt actually aches. 
Max shoves himself away from you, yanking off his coat and suit jacket in one motion, and he actually lets them fall to the concrete parking lot. Before his sleeve is all the way out, he curls over you, one hand shoving up your skirt, and the other snagging the front of your nylons. His grip pinches the coarse hairs and your cunt involuntarily clenches as he peels the nylons over your hips and your knees with one hand. To get them completely off, you’d have to stretch out your legs, so he shoves your nylons to your ankles, before grabbing the backs of your thighs and thrusting you up the seat. Your head knocks against the car door, but he doesn’t seem to care – and neither do you. 
The back seat of your ford is not meant for two people, much less two people hellbent on oral sex. And yet . . .
He shoves one knee under your low spine, lifting your hips up and you acquiesce – tightening your muscles to keep the position that nearly folds you in half, but he shakes his head.
“I don’t need to breathe, honey,” he purrs into your thigh and takes your knee around the back of his head, and then does the same to the other. The height gives you enough leverage to balance against the roof of the car, giving your weight onto his shoulders, and your cunt exactly where he wants it. 
“That’s it, pretty girl. Now, let me eat.” He sticks out his tongue, flat against his chin. 
He clutches your hips and tugs you closer, right into his waiting muscle. 
Your spine arches even further off the seat when he takes advantage of the position and licks you from the curve of your ass to your clit. He catches the dripping wetness in his mouth, using it to massage that bundle of nerves with the tip of his tongue, his fingers firm against your hip. Any more pressure and he’ll bruise you. Any more after that and he’ll crush your hipbones. 
Your hips thrust weakly, thighs squeezing his head, as he forcibly reminds you that he hadn’t lost his touch, with an additional reminder that no one else touches you like he does. No one. Not a living soul or otherwise.
A side lick to your clit and you bite your lip, eyes shut, your hands above your head to find leverage. You push back against him and he groans into your pussy, aquiline nose breathing harshly into your damp curls. 
“Fuck, Max – yes, right there – oh god –,”
That soft teasing feeling that makes your hips cant forward with a sudden desperate need expands with every swipe of your tongue. 
He’s never going to let you live it down if you come this fast. 
“M-Max,” 
He opens his jaw more, dropping his mouth to your exposed hole and licking so deep inside with a curled tongue, your thighs start to shake. You gasp, head lifting forward before dropping back, as he fucks you with his tongue. You want to ride his face. 
And then Max lets out a grunt, shifting underneath you, his gaze flicking up to yours. With a hand on your knee as he practically hangs you upside down, he pulls back.
“You taste different.” 
It takes you a second to realize he’s said something coherent. “W-what?” 
He licks his lips, smeared with a wetness that makes the lower half of his face shine in the murky street lights. He licks you again as if to make sure. 
“Your taste . . . your cunt, it’s . . .”
Max’s eyes widen slightly like a wolf catching the scent of a deer. 
“Hold on, baby, I gotta try something.” 
Without warning, he plunges two fingers inside of you and sucks on your clit. He times his sucks with the rapid pump of his fingers and you’re at your peak in seconds. Your thighs shake, your cunt tightens, the sudden ascent overwhelming and intense, and with a tap against that spot inside you he’s forever marked as his own, you flatten against the seat, as everything inside you bursts, wet and bright, into his waiting mouth. His eyes flutter at the taste as it drips out of you, corners of his mouth smeared with your release. 
Max slowly slides his fingers out of you, watching you with apparent curiosity, pride evident in his eyes, and immediately your cunt aches, as if he had just given you three orgasms instead of one. There’s a low throb at the crux of your thighs and you groan, the pain only dull. 
But he doesn’t seem to notice. He nudges your thighs back from his ears, opening up you just a bit before he tucks his tongue into you again. The throb, alongside the still settling waves of your orgasm, wants you to push him away, but it’s not overstimulation. After being with Max for so long, you knew what overstimulation felt like and this is not it. 
“Max, c’mon, give me a second — fuck,”
Your eyes widen as you feel something wet trickle out of you and into his mouth, his eyes fixated on you. His grip around your waist pulls you closer to his chest. 
You watch each other the second you realize what’s just happened.
He leans back and there’s blood on his bottom lip.
Embarrassment scorches through your body and all the shitty feelings you had all week suddenly identify themselves as symptoms of PMS. Fuck. 
You immediately push on him, trying to de-tangle yourself from his shoulders, but he shakes his head.
“You wanted me to drink your blood, right? Third base? Well, now we don’t have to worry about where to bite you.” 
“But Max,” you struggle, working to sit up right but he won’t let your legs go. In fact, his grip turns rougher and you feel his fingers crush into your hip bones, his other hand pinning your knee to the back of his neck. “Max, c’mon, you don’t have to do that. This is silly and –,”
His wide palm smooths over your knee, like he’s trying to settle a frightened cat. 
“Who’s scared of genuine feelings now?” He murmurs. 
Only Max Phillips can go soft and sweet with your cunt inches from his face. Your apparently bleeding cunt. 
His hand moves from your knee, down your thigh and over your hip, before making the reverse trail, just as slow, just as comforting, while his gaze never leaves yours. You swallow something harsh in your throat, as your lower pelvis starts to ache. 
“The last thing I want is to hurt you, but I’ve heard that orgasms can actually help with cramps.” Max says softly. This isn’t a ploy to get (further) into your pants. He’s being genuinely – really, seriously, genuine. Your heart beats just as hard as the cramps as they settle. 
“What woman told you that?” 
Max huffs out a laugh, turning his head to nuzzle your thigh. “I was lonely without you and had to make do . . . so I befriended Carla and her gang.”
“The office manager?” You gape at him.
“They all tried to set me up with their daughters,” he chuckles, his hands still roaming over your body. He adjusts his knee so you have something to lean into. “So, pretty harmless. But they are also some of the most incorrigible gossip hounds I’ve ever known.” 
“They didn’t mind setting their daughters up with a vampire?”
“Not all of them are human, honey.” His eyes roll up your chest to your face. “And the ones that are were practically begging me to turn them.”
“But you didn’t.”
“No, baby, I didn’t.” He shifts again, tugging you further over his shoulders, thumbs pressing gently into the backs of your knees. “We don’t have to do this if you really don’t want to.” 
“I know. It’s just . . .” You touch his thigh behind your back, needing to feel him to gather up the strength to say what you wanted to. “No one’s ever done this before.”
Max’s solid eyebrow jumps, lips pulling back into that wicked smirk. You swear you catch a glimpse of fang as he focuses back onto your cunt. 
“Well, you’re a monsterfucker and I’m your monster to fuck.” 
His mouth lowers, eyes on you, waiting and begging. You nod and he prods your clit with his tongue again, before licking anything and everything out of your hole.
Max doesn’t eat. He feeds. 
He grunts through his nose, trying to kneel as high as he is allowed in the cramped space. Finally, his gaze falls from you, eyes flickering shut, as the cramp in your pelvis digs deeper – you cry out – but then, it melts. The dull ache is spread across your hip bones until it is just warm, hot with your rushing blood. You moan, throwing your head back, and finally you dig your hands into his hair. 
As that warm bright coil begins to sink into your pelvis, Max groans between your legs. He pulls back just an inch, his lips a gooey red, to say:
“Pull on it if you need to hold yourself up.” 
Why you thought you could ever go back to a human lover after Max is a fuzzy, hazy notion at the edges of your mind when you dig your fingers into his hair, slightly longer than it’s been in the past, and pull yourself even closer to his mouth. 
In a truly impractical position, you feel his iron-hard cock poke your back, his hips stuttering, fucking empty air. His arm bands around your hips, your knees knocking against the ceiling, as he adjusts his grip. 
The inverse of blood has you going dizzy; blood rushing to your head as Max coaxes blood out of your cunt. 
And then you feel it. 
Behind your thighs, his chest vibrates and the air is filled with a delicious, primal sound. The sound of a beast being satiated, of a hunt gone well, a feeding that will sustain for a long, long while. Before you found it rather adorable, funny that a grown man like Max Phillips would purr when deeply satisfied, but now, it’s a hair-pin trigger to your demise. 
You cry out, loud and wet and wanting, as everything from your hips down starts to tighten up again. You lock your ankles together against his back, toes exposed to the night air, and you use the last of your waning strength in your thighs to lift yourself even further to him. Your hips thrust weakly and that grip around your hip bones seals you to his chest. 
Don’t fucking move. 
But it’s enough. Your inner thighs a gooey, hot mess, he prods his tongue deep, licking up every liquid that drips out of you, before coating your clit in your own mess. 
He sucks and you come. Long and loud. 
Your vision slowly begins to unblur, black spots fading, as he lowers you down, careful not to go too quick like he’s trying to not to wake someone from a light sleep. You can feel that sleep, that endless relaxation swelling over you as you go boneless while Max untangles you. 
Your eyes stay open long enough to see the smear of red across his lips before he wipes it away. The cramping in your pelvis has been reduced to a gentle throb. 
Gingerly, Max pulls your skirt down, hand arching your back so you don’t have to lift your hips as he adjusts you back into some modicum of decorum. He reaches back and snags his coat and jacket from the ground before tossing them into the passenger’s seat. With your feet in his lap, arm stretched out across the back of the seat you just debauched, he shuts the door and instantly the smell of his cologne permeates the air. 
You grin, wriggling down in the seat as far you can go like a housecat warmed by the sun. 
You sit in silence for a bit, content to just be, a welcome retreat for your breathing to go steady and his cock to soften. His hands brush against the heels of your bare feet. 
“You made me purr again,” he says with a grin. 
“There’s no way that’s the technical term for it, whatever it is,” you say teasingly as you watch him trace your ankles with his finger. “You should ask another vamp what you’re supposed to call it.”  
He chuckles, squeezing your foot once before glancing up at you. Whatever he sees in you, it makes his eyes go soft.
“You mean ask about the thing that only happens during the most intimate moments a vampire can experience? Yeah, sure, I’ll bring it up at the water cooler.” 
Satiated and warm and a little loopy from a truly record breaking orgasm, you stick your tongue out at him. 
“Fine. I’m going to tell people that you purr like a cute, innocent little kitten until you find a better term.”
He bends your knee so he can press his lips to the curve. 
“Just because you’re my girlfriend, don’t think I won’t turn you over and swat your bottom.” He nips at the hollow of the joint with flat teeth, opening up your legs to him again. You can feel that heavy wetness trickle down again, and you sit up, not embarrassed by your bleeding, but suddenly tired beyond belief. 
Max lets you move out of his lap as you curl a hand around his cheek. It’s a shame you only see that touch of vulnerability, the man without the quips and the teasing and the bravado, after a good fuck. But you think you might finally have it your way, sooner than you ever hoped. 
“Well if my boyfriend would drive us back to his place, maybe I could show how sorry I am for teasing you.” 
He studies you for a minute, a full minute that has you surprised he’s not roughly kissing you again.
“Sometimes, around the office, you’d smell different and I never knew what it was. I didn’t put enough thought into it to realize the pattern, but it makes sense now. And it makes sense why you were suddenly very busy during that week when I’d bootycall you.” 
You shrug, your neck suddenly very warm. “I dunno. I figured you wouldn’t want to be around me when I’m like that. Not to mention I dress in baggy clothes and wander around my apartment with a heating pad taped to my hips.
“Really? They’re that bad?”
You nod. “Women around the world rejoiced when working from home became an option. Video calls only show from the waist up.”
“Now that’s all I’m gonna be thinking about at the next all-hands meeting,” he grins and squeezes your knees. 
“I guess I set myself up for that one, didn’t I?” You shake your head. He nods, humming his affirmation, and kisses you. 
“Let’s go to your place,” he mutters against your lips. “There might be no place on earth less equipped to handle Shark Week than a male vampire’s bachelor pad.” 
“Shark Week?” You giggle. 
“Carla’s words, not mine. The Rising Red Tide. Code Red. Aunt Flo. And my personal favorite, communists in the fun house.”
Your giggle turns to a snort as you lean forward into him, laughing. His lips press affectionately into your hairline as you settle down. 
He moves to take your feet out of his lap when you gently take his elbow. 
“So we’re good, right? This wasn’t too much?” You are a little concerned by the total and complete lack of fang he showed, but entirely grateful.
As if reading your mind, he says, “the fangs only come out when I need to get through pesky flesh to feed. Your blood came out like a broken ice cream machine at McDonalds.”
You wrinkle your nose as he laughs and you push him out of the car. 
“That’s disgusting, Max.”
You snag the keys from your briefcase and toss them to him as he rounds the car and you crawl into the passenger’s seat. 
He drops in and immediately turns on your seat warmers. The gesture is subtle and thoughtful, things you thought Max Phillips never could be. 
“Speaking of which,” he holds onto the head of the seat as he backs out of the spot. “Carla also told me that ice cream is the cure to most cramps. So, with the lovely picture I just painted in your mind, do you want to go to McDonalds?”
As you look at him, shadows flitting across his face as he drives under streetlight after streetlight, his fingers that had been inside you minutes ago loosely holding the steering wheel, your heart twinges as you come to a certain realization.
This can’t last, right?
He’s only acting like this because he feels bad, feels guilty, right?
Max Phillips isn’t boyfriend material, despite his claims. 
As proven before, feelings can change. So you wonder how long until his feelings about you change again and he grows tired of you. Max Phillips is not a housecat. 
You swallow, glancing away before he has a chance to catch your eyes.
“Yeah, Max, let’s do it.” 
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jupiter-soups · 6 months
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tysm for the tags my angels!!! @planet-marz1 @beardedjoel @futuraa-free i love you all so much!!!!!!
rules: remove one trope from each row
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this was so fucking difficult because i love literally all of the tropes so much
np tags: @huffle-punk @chloeangelic @gasolinerainbowpuddles @lumoverheaven @ktheunready @punkette1026 @covetyou @chronically-ghosted
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futuraa-free · 24 days
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comfort movies + pinterest tag game
thank you for the tags lovelies @schnarfer and @burntheedges! 🤍
Go to pinterest and select the first character, real person, quote, and outfit to get your vibe. Then list 7 of your comfort films.
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seven comfort films 🎥
Fantastic Mr. Fox
Spirited Away
Little Miss Sunshine
Juno
The Thing (1982)
Portrait of a Lady On Fire
Toy Story 3
I recently watched Perfect Days by Wim Wenders and I already know I'm gonna come back to it if I need a pick me up.
np tags 🤍: @jupiter-soups; @smok3r7; @huffle-punk; @beardedjoel; @wannab-urs; @perotovar; @sp00kymulderr; @freelancearsonist: @ghotifishreads; @chronically-ghosted
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sinsofsummers · 10 months
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Send this to ten other bloggers that you think are wonderful. Keep the game going, make someone smile!!! ♡♡♡ <3
no bc the way that i got one from u lovely and @huffle-punk bby 🥲 this did in fact make me giggle and kick my feet i just wanted both of u to know that
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strang3lov3 · 10 months
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Thank you all!! There’s 2000 of you mothafuckas!!!
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I just wanted to take a minute since hitting 2k followers to say thank you. I’d like to shine the spotlight on some fantastic readers who always leave the sweetest worlds of encouragement, ask questions, reblog my fics, etc. I mean it when I say your comments and interactions keep me going! You all inspire me to keep writing! I don’t think I can accurately say just how much your kindness and encouragement means to me, but it’s a fucking lot. More than you know. Thank you, friends ❤️
Each and every one of you who interact with my fics mean so much to me and I’m lucky to have such a kind and supportive audience. I don’t know that I’d be doing this still if it weren’t for you guys ❤️
I’m doing drabbles and mini fics all week to celebrate! Feel free to send in an ask, I wanna say thank you to you all!!
Mwah! 😘❤️ kisses to everyone!
@axshadows you always leave the sweetest comments and have the most thoughtful things to say. Thank you! ❤️
@speckledemerald you are so kind and encouraging and I look forward to all of your beautiful and great ideas! I’m so glad we’ve become friends ❤️😭
@brie-annwyl you always leave such kind comments! Thank you! ❤️
@elissaaa thank you for always reading and commenting on my works! I hope you know just how much I appreciate you ❤️
@pascalsbby you’re a real one for including me in that compilation list. Thank you for being so kind ❤️
@kdogreads thank you for your encouragement and the sweet things you say!! ❤️❤️
@notjustjavierpena you flatter me! Thank you for being such a great friend! I look forward to hearing what you have to say! ❤️
@pascalisbaby thank you so much for including me on your recommendation lists. It feels so validating to see my work up there with all the other fantastic writers! It means so much to me ❤️
@kyloispunk I know I can count on you to leave such wonderful comments. Thank you for always reading, I hope you enjoy my stories ❤️
@brittmb115 you always always always have such kind words to say! Thank you! ❤️
@heartfairy I’m so glad we’ve become friends. Thank you for your sweet words ❤️
@lhymer1995 thank you so much for your support ❤️❤️
@huffle-punk thanks for your kind comments and reblogs. It’s always so appreciated ❤️
@marisemonteiroo thank you for your words of encouragement! ❤️
@pedrotonin thank you so much for reading friend ❤️ always look forward to your comments!
@nopealoupe thank you for leaving such sweet comments ❤️
@iggee-rose tumblr won’t let me tag you for whatever reason but you are not going unnoticed! Thank you for being so kind! ❤️
@addictedtotlou you’re a sweetheart! Thanks for the love ❤️
There are so many more of you who consistently like, reblog, interact with my fics. I have 2000 followers now, I can’t memorize all of your @‘s!! Thank you thank you thank you 😭😭❤️❤️
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rosepascal · 9 months
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beekeeping age || Joel Miller x Reader
a/n: okay this is a stupid fun fic of Joel reading thirsty tik tok comments because I thought it would be funny. Also Sarah and Ellie are 18 and Joel is in his 40's now
warnings: thirsty comments about joel
this ones for u @huffle-punk @jupiter-soups @living-for-jesus-and-telenovelas
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You told Sarah this was a bad idea but her and Ellie are deadest on it. There was no way Joel was going to go for it once she told him what it was but deep down you kind of wanted to watch just to see how Joel would react.
Truthfully you don't really get Tik Tok. You have it but mostly just scroll for the recipes and book recs. Sipping on your drink you watch as Sarah and Ellie bombard their dad who had just come downstairs.
"What are you asking me to do?" He asks confused.
"Just react to some comments that's all." Sarah smiles widely as she holds her phone up.
Joel looks over to Ellie who was looking around the room. Smiling as innocently as she can when she meets Joel's eyes. Joel then looks to you, normally the girls let you in on their schemes but you just shrug. He narrows his eyes in suspicion but relents.
"Fine. Does this have to do with that app you're always on?" He asks as he sits on the couch. Sarah and Ellie sitting on either side of him.
"Yep." Sarah smiles as she opens up Tik Tok.
She's gotten kind of popular but when she posted a video of her and Ellie and Joel popped up in the background, her notifications blew up. At first her and Ellie thought it was weird to see so many people thirsting for their dad and yeah, its still weird but some of the comments were so unhinged that it became funny.
So what else could they do but make Joel read some of them. Ellie scrolled through and picked a few. They refused to show you the ones they picked, telling you that you'd have to wait and watch yourself. Joel puts his arms on top of the couch, spreading his legs out a little as he watches Sarah press record.
"Ready dad?" She asks as she starts the green screen.
"I guess." She pulls up the first one and Joel squints his eyes to read it.
"Why is your dad kinda...?" He reads in the most monotone voice.
"Am I kinda what?" He asks as Sarah and Ellie look at each other.
"And what does the two fingers point at each other mean?" He turns to Ellie who can't hide her laughter.
You bite your lip to hide your chuckles, it's not often that Joel is this lost about something. It's pretty funny. He shakes his head and asks for the next one.
"Okay okay here." Ellie shows him the next one.
"Y'all looking for a new step mom?" Joel's eyes widen a little as he reads it.
His eyes dart to you for a brief moment, silently praying for you to save him from this embarrassment. He clears his throat and looks at the camera.
"No. They're not." Sarah swipes to the next one and tries to hide her giggles.
"Your dad is such a dilf." He pauses for a second before sighing. He thinks he knows what that means and it's, flattering?
"Uh thanks, I think." He rubs his jaw and sits up a little straighter.
Now that word you do know and it makes you laugh. It's not loud enough to be heard by Sarah's phone but Joel hears it. He looks at you with a combination of confusion and embarrassment. They aren't wrong though. That man is a dilf.
"How many more of these are there?" He asks and Ellie smirks.
"Well we got like two hundred comments but these are the best ones."
"Two hundred?!" Joel asks in disbelief. Ellie waves him off as Sarah shows him the next one. She's struggling to hide her laugh as Joel reads the comment.
"Beekeeping age." Is all it says.
"The hell does that mean? I don't keep bees." Joel looks to Sarah who bursts out in laughter and then to Ellie who's hiding her face in her hands.
You tilt your head in confusion. You've never heard that one before. Pulling out your phone you google it real quick. As you read the definition you still don't fully get it but from what you could gather, Joel does fit that description.
"I don't get it." He scrunches up his eyebrows.
"Guess what it means." Sarah says and he shrugs his shoulders.
"I'm old? I don't know."
"I'll show you video later." Ellie says and he just gives up trying to understand whatever the hell that means.
"Last one." Ellie shows him her phone and he takes it from her hands. Moving his head back to read it properly.
"I want your dad to-" He stops and reads the rest of the comment in silence.
He drops Ellies phone and sighs, throwing his head back on the couch, dragging a hand across his face. He really doesn't understand the internet anymore.
"Alright I'm done." He gets off the couch and walks towards you.
"No dad come back!" Sarah pleads but he shakes his head. A small smile on his face as she pouts.
"Absolutely not, you get that thing away from me." He says pointing at her phone. After more laughter Sarah stops the video and uploads it with the caption I think you guys broke my dad.
"Thanks dad!" Sarah and Ellie run up to hug him, practically tackling him with their love.
"I'm too damn old for this," He mutters as he hugs them back.
"Can't wait to do a part two." They two girls run off to Sarahs room as Joel processes what they said.
"Hey! Get back here!" He yells after them but they ignore him. Joel sighs and sits back on the couch.
"What did the last comment say?" You ask as you join him on the couch. Setting your cup down you wrap your snuggle close to him and he shudders.
"You don't want to know."
"Oh I think I do." He glares playfully at you which makes you laugh.
"And what the hell is beekeeping age?" He asks, completely lost at the concept. He's cute like this. He wraps an arm around your waist as he mumbles to himself about those comments.
"Am I really a dilf?" He's genuinely concerned when he asks that you find it endearing.
"Yes Joel, you are a dilf." You kiss his cheek and he straightens up a little bit.
Hearing stuff like that from strangers on the internet is weird, but coming from you, now that's a compliment.
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burntheedges · 4 months
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vision board!
the amazing @undercoverpena tagged me to make a vision board! to see jo's please go here. i can't remember the last time I made one of these and I might have gotten a little carried away (lol)
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no pressure tags: @beardedjoel @jupiter-soups @huffle-punk @fanatictypist @toxic-seduction @djarins-cyare @davnittbraes @chronically-ghosted @joelsgreys @something-tofightfor @punkette1026 @janaispunk @gasolinerainbowpuddles @jobean12-blog @ilovepedro @sheepdogchick3 and anyone else who is inspired
(please don't reblog, and make a separate post if you're partaking)
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beardedjoel · 16 days
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for the @swiftiscruff friendship exchange!
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here's a moodboard of some of my all time favorite pedro pics - ones that consistently make me laugh, smile, or get h0rny for that old man for you all to enjoy the man that brought us all together!
it’s coming up on around a year when i started getting into fic writing and then finding my way back to tumblr, and sometimes i still can’t believe just how much fun we are all having together over one goofy guy and all his characters! i never would have thought watching an adaptation of my favorite video game last year would have brought me here to so many wonderful people with kind hearts and insane talent!
i have a hard time initiating contact especially in fandom where people sometimes seem to already be doing their thing and you feel like you’ve just arrived, BUT you guys! you all have made me feel so welcome - to everyone who ever reached out to me first bc i was too shy, commented, messaged, ANYTHING i just love and appreciate you so much. not to mention the sense of humor in this community is just…. so. good.
idk if it’s corny to out myself like this but this is such a huge part of my life. i think about my fics so often, i smile at my phone at work when i see a new comment or dm that just brightens my whole day, i look forward to my interactions with you all. and it’s just been such a blast sharing this space with everyone.
i wish i had time to make something for every friend and fic i've loved but life is life-ing and so busy rn - just know i love all of y'all.
here’s to all our friendships, making new ones, and strengthening the ones we have ❤️ thank you han and cat for setting up something so sweet and thoughtful!
tagging some amazing moots and people i'm a big fan of!
@swiftispunk @joelscruff @huffle-punk @jupiter-soups @burntheedges @janaispunk @beskarandblasters @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @dancingtotuyo @wannab-urs @tightjeansjavi @pastelnap @joelsgreys @covetyou @chronically-ghosted @sawymredfox @ilovepedro @joelsgreenflannel @whxtedreams @gasolinerainbowpuddles @pr0ximamidnight @justagalwhowrites @noxturnalpascal @joelsflannel @punkette1026 @toxicanonymity @honeyedmiller @mermaidgirl30 @ezrasbirdie-main @wintrwinchestr @mrsmando @5oh5 @kiwisbell @joelscurls @atticrissfinch @cavillscurls @perotovar @futuraa-free
and so SOOO many more people!!! if you've ever interacted with me in any way or i've read something of yours i've loved etc - I LOVE YOU!
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jobean12-blog · 7 months
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Let's spread some positivity! Tag some of your fellow content creators here and let them know why they are absolutely amazing!❤️
Hi Anon! How lovely! YAY! Love to spread the good stuff! And there are just so many absolutely amazing creators on here! I'd like to dedicate my little blurb of appreciation to all of you, even if I missed your tag!
Thank you for sharing your creations with us and most importantly the pieces of you that you put into your work. It's beyond special to get even a small glimpse into your amazingly talented brains and I'm so appreciative always! It's the best kind of escape to disappear into the worlds you create through stories, moodboards, art, gifs, etc. It has helped me in so many ways and I could never properly thank you. Wishing you all a beautiful day and the best rest of the week! Always sending love, hugs and endless support! Keep kicking butt because you're awesome and you matter and I'm thankful for you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@biteofcherry @book-dragon-13 @bitchassbucky @boxofbonesfic @angrythingstarlight @darkficsyouneveraskedfor @dailyreverie @georgiapeach305132 @syntheticavenger @flordeamatista @navybrat817 @theycallmebecca @nomadicpixel @firefly-in-darkness @sgt-seabass @rookthorne @buckets-and-trees @vonalyn @geminixevans-stan @mrsmischief209 @vibraniumcollar @emerald-chaos @mellowsaturns @sexyprise @sagechanoafterdark @saiyanprincessswanie @tilltheendwilliwrite @sebbytrash @witchywithwhiskey @povlvr @poetic-fiasco @jupiter-soups @huffle-punk @toxic-seduction @holacia3 @goldylions
And so many more! ❤️🥰❤️
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