But I will never forget her coldness and betrayal.

women

It’s uncommon to see trees and flowers in the Underworld. But with Yuzhu by your side, it becomes spring time everywhere.

@tehfanglyfish​ Ahh so this is the one I was going to write for the March bingo prompt but didn’t get to finish!

It’s a continuation of the sailor moon AU in my heart is a kaleidoscope. That fic doesn’t have Zhu Hong in it because it’s meant to take place pretty early in the timeline (Luna!Da Qing has only found Zhao Yunlan, Lin Jing and Wang Zheng at that point - the five “senshi” are the three above, plus Zhu Hong and Guo Changcheng, with Tuxedo Mask!Shen Wei).

What I love about this AU is that I’ve picked my favourite parts of novel and drama canons and put them in a sailor moon-style setup. So here, Zhu Hong is a young snake yao who has recently moved to Dragon City, and the fic is about her finding her place in the city and meeting the rest of the team. Like Rei, she already has powers before getting her “senshi” powers (and she just gives me Rei vibes overall 😍).

The fic also has a high school student!Hua Yuzhu/”shitennou”!Sha Ya subplot, though I’ve been struggling with that part of it so there’s a chance it might be cut.

Zhu Hong glares down at the workbook in front of her, trying to untangle the equation on the page through sheer force of will alone. It is raining today, so the light shining through the glass doors of the store is grey and feeble. The glare of the fluorescent lights inside are giving her a headache — or maybe that's just the homework.

Why do humans have to learn these stupid things? Back in the Snake Tribe lands, they were taught useful things, like how to identify and grow medicinal plants, how to fight off vengeful ghosts, and of course, cultivation. What are math equations supposed to do for them, anyway? It's not like you can eat them or use them to reach a higher plane of existence.

Ask about one of my WIPs!

The skin under Ya Qing's gloves is soft, is as to be expected; she only uses her claws when she has them. Her palm is sweaty against Zhu Hong's, but every time she tries to pull away with an excuse, Zhu Hong holds on tighter. On her other side she can see Ying Chun bring Ya Qing's knuckles up to her mouth and kiss them. A flower is tucked in the crease between Ya Qing's fingers when she pulls back, tiny and purple: Clematis, Zhu Hong's brain supplies. She's been learning from Hua Yuzhu; not that Ying Chun wouldn't tell her, but Zhu Hong likes the bright light in her eyes when Zhu Hong tries.

(She has been trying so hard.) "This is pointless," Ya Qing says. Her upper lip is beading sweat as well: the heat is merciless, today, and she continues to swathe herself in black. Zhu Hong respects the commitment. "I can fly." "So this should be a breeze," Zhu Hong says, because she has learned that Ya Qing finds it amusing when she is mean. Sure enough Ya Qing glares at her, and it takes a little bit of the blazing panic out of her eyes. As Ying Chun ducks to hide a laugh Zhu Hong turns to skate backwards, slow as slow so she can keep holding Ya Qing's hand. "Just move your weight to one side. We've got you, Qing-jie." Doubtfully, clutching at both of them, Ya Qing cocks her hip to the outside. Her ankles are rolled in; she immediately begins to topple, and has to be propped back up by Ying Chun's easy willow-tree grace. The intensity of her stink-eye begins to rival that of the sun. "I wanted to have a picnic." "Picnics are lovely," Ying Chun agrees, because she is the sweetest person who has ever existed, and because she is basically half herbaceous. Since she has progressed to audible laughter, breathy and soft, Ya Qing doesn't seem to be appeased. "Point your feet straight ahead, remember?" "I am," Ya Qing snaps. There is a pause while they all look down. She is not. Her face begins to flush blotchily. Zhu Hong clucks her tongue, but she relents and bends her elbow so she can return to Ya Qing's side. Just in time: a squad of teenagers screams by on skateboards, asphalt scraping, and Ya Qing flinches hard enough one of her rollerblades leaves the ground completely. Delinquents. The next time they pass by Zhu Hong might trip one or two, teach them a lesson.

"Come on," Ying Chun coaxes; she strokes one hand soothingly down Ya Qing's back to rest it at her waist. "Once around the park, and then we can go?" "...I hate you both," Ya Qing says, teeth gritted tightly, and Zhu Hong starts laughing, too.

Hello friends welcome to my Episode 28 (and also 29 a lil bit) Ramble, which I’m sure at least one of you has been waiting eagerly for! Quick summary for folks who don’t actually remember which eps those are: we experience Sha Ya’s backstory, lesbian ecoterrorism happens, Zhao Xinci and friends get kidnapped, Yunlan has a breakdown and then he and Shen Wei go on a romantic search mission together. I love this episode for a lot of reasons (mlm/wlw solidarity is loving Sha Ya and Hua Yuzhu), but I’m going to focus specifically on Yunlan and his Dad Problems. Oh boy are there some dad problems in this episode and in the next one.  

Important context that I kind of previewed in that last post I made: I headcanon Yunlan as ADHD/autistic! This is mostly because I’m ADHD and autistic and he and I have almost exactly the same mannerisms/body language/way of interacting with people/everything, but eps 28 and 29 really solidified this headcanon as based in the text of the show. If you recall from episode 28, after Minister Guo (my beloved) reveals that Yunlan’s dad was kidnapped, Yunlan gets so frustrated with the riddle message thingy that he yells and kicks a chair. This is Such a small moment but I think about it constantly because I Get It! Throughout the show he’s always been this goofy, kind person who isn’t always super tactful but is never like, angry. Even in what I like to call the Evil Beams scene, aka the one where he and Ye Zun meet for the first time, he’s like “haha! Fuck you! I’m Zhao Yunlan and I can and will shoot my powerful beams at you!” I can’t think of any time that he yells at someone except for this scene and the one where Shen Wei cuts himself. And then in this scene! He’s not even Angry! He’s just frustrated! And he gets so frustrated that his feelings Explode Everywhere! I don’t know if I’ve ever seen that aspect of being ADHD represented in a show, explicitly ADHD rep or not. I feel like a lot of the time when I’ve watched shows, the people with the Large Emotions are either super angry all the time or super peppy and cheerful, and there’s never anyone who’s Both. And I’m both! And when I watched that episode I Lost My Mind! Another special part of that scene is the way Shen Wei reacts. I forget exactly what he says but he says the Right Thing, and when I rewatched this scene with Clog the other night I was like wow….neurodivergent love….

This whole long paragraph about ADHD emotions leads me to the Big reason I love these two episodes, which is how they portray how complicated Yunlan’s relationship with his dad is. When I first watched Guardian, I spent the first 27 episodes going, “I hate Zhao Xinci what a trash dad he Sucks and i’m going to Kick Him.” And Then I Watched This Episode. I mean, I still hate him and want to kick him, but like, in a more nuanced way. I really really really love their relationship. For me, one of the main Things with the way they relate to each other (excluding of course the whole mom/wife death trauma, which is another essay for someone else to write) is the simple fact that Zhao Yunlan is and always has been a neurodivergent person with a neurodivergent way of thinking, and Zhao Xinci is not. Episode 28 really solidified for me that Yunlan does in fact care about his dad! Even though they have a bad relationship they still care about each other in some way! Zhao Xinci just has never ever shown that because he’s the worst built different. They also both express their care in super different ways. Zhao Xinci wants Yunlan to be “better”, or what he thinks is better, and is shown to want to push Yunlan to do things differently. Which obviously doesn’t work, because those of y'all who are also ADHD and/or autistic folks know that there is only One Way To Do Things and the other ways Do Not Work. I see my own relationship to my parents in the Zhao dynamic (minus the twenty years of not talking because my parents and I have a good relationship now). I know now that my parents love me, and we’ve actually gone through the whole talking about our feelings therapy gauntlet, but for the majority of my child/teenhood I was so angry and frustrated with them because I always felt like I wasn’t being understood. Which is probably true! Clog has a whole essay about episode 29 that they should put in a reblog (wink wink) but basically: when you’re neurodivergent your parental relationships get so complicated and this episode really cemented that re: Zhao family for me. 

Wow that sure was long. Anyways thank you for coming to my extended Yunlan ramble! I just love him So Much and can and will talk about him for Hours. Perfect awful beautiful man. Love of my life. Makes me feel feelings and write nearly 1,000 word essays. <3 <3 <3 Big shoutout to my beloved @lucky-clover-cannot-hear-you for her clogtastic contributions <3

sha ya/hua yuzhu superiority and idk wtf is going on with lin jing but the starry night in the ring thing did get me ;_;

flowers & lightnings

what is real?

why do I ship such sad impossible things?

and i ship it EVEN MORE NOW

C, S & V for the fic meme!

C: What character do you identify with most?

That's a hard question! My first instinct is to say Shen Wei, but when I think about it I'm not sure how much is that I identify with him and how much is that I just love him an unreasonable amount 😅

I usually find something I identify with each character about, especially once I start writing them. I will say though that one scene from Guardian that just hit me in the chest when I watched it was Zhu Hong's confession to Zhao Yunlan and then the dream scene. I found myself in a very similar situation a few years back, though (unfortunately) the other person wasn't as clear about it as ZYL and (VERY VERY fortunately) they were not my boss.

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

I have a definite weakness for soulmate AUs. Otherwise my trope preferences vary a bit by fandom. For Guardian, definitely identity porn and hurt/comfort (I don't usually enjoy H/C but it just works so well for Weilan). Also amnesia fics. Other tropes I sometimes enjoy are childhood friends, arranged marriage, and mutual pining, though these are not actually my favourites for Weilan.

V: A secondary (or underrated) character you want to see more of in fic?

Sha Ya! I find her character and backstory pretty compelling. Guardian definitely did her (and Hua Yuzhu) dirty trying to redeem Zhao Xinci. There's a moral complexity in that story that I was really disappointed to see ret-conned. There's a lot that can be explored about her and her relationship with Hua Yuzhu and Gu Ban, and Zhao Xinci's role in things. Even with Lin Jing, even though I don't really ship them, but I like it as a way of exploring what it's like to move on after a loss, the tension between holding on to a grief and anger (and I think even a sense of righteousness) you've held on to for a long time and which has come to shape you, and letting go and letting yourself be happy.

I've got vague plans to touch on some of this in the vigilante!Shen Wei AU, where Shen Wei gets to her before Ya Qing and she ends up helping him — but she and Wu Tian'en overlap in the roles they play in the story so I need to figure that out.

Thanks for the questions! ❤️

first impression of sha ya and hua yuzhu is that they are exes but in a sad way not a funny way <\3

i’m looking at the sha ya/hua yuzhu + gu ban situation and im putting it in its true category with the jennifer/needy and shiori/juri situations only it’s made more complicated by the conflicting opinions about humans and genuine care for gu ban from both of them