#horniest hozier song tournament
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The winner of the horniest Hozier song tournament, by only 1.4%, is……
Moment’s Silence!!!
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Inspired by other song brackets like @crysongz, @best-overplayed-song, @weird-song-bracket, @lovesongbracket, @songcharshowdown, @songshowdown, @movingmusiccomp.
Also tagging @tournamentdirectory, @ultimate-poll-tournament, @thedilftournament, @ultimatemilvesbracket. Pls let me know if you are uncomfortable with being tagged in this bracket.
Btw, it's a safe space for aspecs if you aren't sex repulsed etc.
It's time for horny. 69 songs, but which is the horniest/makes you most horny?
Cardi B - WAP vs Nine Inch Nails - Closer
Hey Violet - Guys My Age
Hudson Mohawke - Cbat vs Lilianna Wide - Grind Me Down (Jawster Remix)
Ok Go - I Want You So Bad I Can't Breathe vs Prince - Soft and Wet
Arctic Monkeys - I Wanna Be Yours vs Gunther - Ding Dong Song
Britney Spears - 3 vs Daft Punk - Something About Us
Ty Dolla $ign - Or Nah vs MCR - F.T.W.W.W.
Rihanna - S&M
Lady Gaga - G.U.Y. vs Arctic Monkeys - Do I Wanna Know
Reinaeiry (Sam Smith Cover) - Unholy vs KiNG MALA - she calls me daddy
Jen Foster - I Didn't Just Kiss Her vs Mariah Carey - Touch My Body
Depeche Mode - Master And Servant vs NEFFEX - Rumors
Justin Timberlake - SexyBack
Heathers: The Musical - Dead Girl Walking vs 5 Seconds of Summer - Teeth
Ayla D'Lyla and Miss Madeline - Life Could Be Sweet vs Marvin Gaye - Let's Get It On
Simon Curtis - Flesh vs Hozier - Dinner & Diatribes
Nanne Grönvall - Håll om mig vs Arctic Monkeys - Knee Socks
Beyonce - Rocket vs Transviolet - Girls Your Age
George Michael - Careless Whisper vs Lemon Demon - Two Trucks
Shakira - She Wolf vs K/DA - Villain
Hozier - Talk
The Orion Experience - The Cult of Dionysus vs Moulin Rouge Cast - El Tango De Roxanne
Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls vs Miike Snow - Genghis Khan
Lil Nas X - MONTERO (Call Me By Your Name) vs Dove Cameron - Boyfriend
Khia - My Neck My Back vs Kim Cesarion - Brains Out
Hatsune Miku and Megurine Luka - Magnet vs Rick James - Super Freak
mazie - girls just wanna have sex vs Queen - Get Down, Make Love
Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) vs Santana - Smooth
Todrick Hall - I LIKE BOYS vs Dead Or Alive - I Wanna Be A Toy
Olivia Newton-John - Physical
Neon Trees - Animal vs Hozier - Angel Of Small Death & The Codeine Scene
Fountains of Wayne - Stacy's Mom vs Ashnikko - Slumber Party
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - Strip Away My Conscience vs Holychild - Bathroom Bitch
Jhameel - Feisty vs Arctic Monkeys - 505
Adam Lambert - For Your Entertainment vs Ofenbach - Be Mine
The Weeknd - Earned It vs Jeangu Macrooy - Shake Up This Place
Hozier - Moment's Silence vs annapantsu - Hellfire
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Vote for the horniest song!
Propaganda under the cut!
#horniest hozier song tournament#hozier#poll tournament#polls#semifinals#moment’s silence (common tongue)#dinner and diatribes
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Vote for the horniest song!
#horniest hozier song tournament#hozier#poll tournament#polls#round 2#moment’s silence#take me to church
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Vote for the horniest song!
Propaganda under the cut!
Talk:
Moment’s Silence:
#horniest hozier song tournament#hozier#poll tournament#polls#finals#talk#moment’s silence (common tongue)
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As I stare at the titles for longer, I find it funny that 'Talk' and 'Moment's Silence' almost look like the opposites (I mean taking the words litearlly) .. but also two phases of the same story, like two sides of the same coin? Like you were talking, talking, talking, until ... the moment of silence arrived.
That being said I'd totally choose Talk for the horniest because of Unresolved (Sexual) Tension TM
I mean, the whole thing is basically I WANT I WANT I WANT PLEASE
Oh my god I’d never even realised that but you’re so right
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Objection!
Talk is not the horniest song for one simple reason: it’s foreplay.
All those poetic metaphors in the verses build up to “imagine being loved by me” and admitting he’s talking “refined, for fear that you’ll find out, how I’m imaginin’ you” and that’s it? Wow, local man thinks local woman is hot and can’t stop thinking about banging her so he’s being poetic, yes it’s horny but it’s also completely unconsummated.
Meanwhile, To Be Alone isn’t foreplay. No, it is active, passionate, desperate sex.
But you don't know what hell you put me through
To have someone kiss the skin that crawls from you
To feel your weight in arms I'd never use
It's the god that heroin prays to
?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?! And the way he yells the chorus?!??
It feels good, girl, it feels good
It feels good, girl, it feels good
It feels good, girl, it feels good
Oh to be alone with you
How are people forgetting about this?!?? Especially when this SCORCHING live performance exists?!?
https://youtu.be/NdEkWtCYgRE?si=i2uA8PlJHfWd29nC
I see what you’re saying but also…foreplay can still absolutely be horny as fuck
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HOW is De Selby (Part 2) losing to Be???!!!
Hozier did NOT write “Let all time slow, let all light go, I don't need to know where we begin and end, I'd still know you, not being shown you, I only need the workin' of my hands” for y’all to disrespect him like this!
Truly De Selby pt 2 is more horny than you guys are giving it credit for smh
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Talk is hot
To Be Alone makes me wanna gnaw the bars of my enclosure and fuck my boyfriend
I think the winner is clear here
I need to know if you’re the same person who sent all the other To Be Alone propaganda or if there’s just a whole club out there
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Vote for the horniest song!
Propaganda under the cut!
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Moment’s silence should win for the sole reason that it’s straight up the perfect song to put on while giving/receiving head. Yup, the world is on fire, fascists are in power, but let’s forget that for 5 seconds because oral sex is great
Honestly so real
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Vote for the horniest song!
#horniest hozier song tournament#hozier#poll tournament#polls#round 2#dinner and diatribes#de selby pt 2
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absolutely criminal to pit nfwmb against talk if you ask me
The bracket was seeded based on how many submissions each song got so blame the generator 😅
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