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voidthewanderer · 4 months

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INQUIRING MINDS WISH TO KNOW——>

For the OC Ask Game! ✨Creating your OCs✨

1, 3, 8, 12, 16 and 19 for Ripper, Shae and Arsenic!!!

Please :))

Pretty please :)))

(Don’t make me whip out my quadruple chin!!!)

@anonwyvern || Questions About Creating Your OCs

Under cut for length; I needed to talk about my babiesss.

What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)?

Shae: Shae was appearance, though and through. She'd gone through so many changes; species changes as she traveled through fandoms and back and forth between getting pulled from them to be from original concepts. Being online during the massive point online where "Mary Sue bad and you're a terrible person for making them!", she kind of just went onto this backburner with everything; looks, appearance, story, everything.

Ripper: Mostly appearance, but a super loose as hell backstory as well. Rips was originally a Left 4 Dead OC and of a concept that never actually made it to the game at that. Most of what did exist of his backstory was just that he was an asylum escapee who was turned. Rather than the straight jacket being closed up, his arms were free. He's had the most changes over his entire timespan.

Arsenic: Appearance 100%. He actually was originally a concept made by my nephew! He wanted a zombie chef, so I made a zombie chef!

3. How did you choose their name?

Shae: I honestly don't even remember where her name came from. It wasn't exactly a popular name when I made her, damn probably about seventeen years ago now? Maybe longer, I think.

Ripper: Was originally a sort of punny name. "A scream ripping at one's throat". Where Joseph Trumoil came from, is one of those things that just... happened. Sometimes names just get stuck in my head. I'll quote him directly from the WIP of Chapter 26 of Mnemonic Impressions for why it's still Ripper: "Thanks to my old line of work, if it were humanly possible at that time, I could rip someone apart and know exactly how to do it to cause the most damage; didn’t help I used t’ do some body building. My friends were… fucked up t’ say the least."

Arsenic: I kinda thought it would be funny for an undead, zombie chef to have his name be the same as a poison.

8. What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story?

Shae: Let's just say that I am actually very mouthy like Shae it. And, just like with her current situation with Sinjin, I need to learn how to keep my mouth shut so I don't get hurt.

Ripper: There's actually not much story wise I relate to with Rips. If anything, I'm envious of my own character. He's charismatic, charming, his style is impeccable. I guess he did get a lot of my "do no harm, but take no shit" personality.

Arsenic: The cooking! Arsenic is literally probably the person I would become (sans the murders) if I actually stayed in the food service industry.

12. What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)?

Shae: It's actually been difficult to keep her silver tongued, combative, defiant, but also keeping her... alive. In all honesty, she would probably be dead by now if I didn't mellow her out a bit. She's legit supposed to be as vile as Sinjin is, cutting some completely reprehensible stuff, but I also know that she would have been long since dead before her story even started.

Ripper: No lie, actually nailing down his official design. Every time I think I have something solid, I go "oh, this would work with him!" and then things would change. Rinse and repeat. Now it's more just trying to nail down exactly who I wanna build his facial structure off of, because William Treat is EXACTLY how he smiles, but I also adore him having sharp features like Dum Dum from Cyberpunk 2077 has. Trying to blend the two together is... fun.

Arsenic: HIS FACE. HIS FUCKING FACE. I DID IT TO MYSELF BUT GOD WHY

16. What is something about your OC can make you cry?

Shae: Her story. Like, god her story is fucked up and just the fact that so much about her kids was kept from her and knowing everything she's gone through, that she's the way she is through so much tragedy and just out of a necessity to survive.

Ripper: Also his backstory, but also like... this man is such a sweetheart and sensitive. Be it because he's just being so goddamn cute or because he's going through an existential crisis, he's probably gonna say something that would either turn me into a mushy mess or bawling my eyes out because why did I hurt you this much.

Arsenic: There's two things with him. When he lets his walls down and lets people in, showing that he's not just a hardened ghoul who hates everything around him. Also, if anything were to happen to Crow, this man's heart would absolutely shatter and he'd probably lose his goddamn mind. That sort of mental torment of feeling like he's lost his soul mate, knowing how he'd react to it, especially now with them in his life again.

19. What is your favorite fact about your OC?

Shae: Not so much of a fact of the character itself (because imho anything I really say with her will give away parts of Addicted), but the fact that she's the second OC I've ever created! She's my second oldest OC, being seventeen (plus) years old.

Ripper: He's only second generation American born in his family! His parents are the first born, his grandmother is from Palermo, his grandfather from Verona.

Arsenic: No matter what, Arsenic was meant to cook and I don't mean that just by his concept alone. He's someone who would be considered to have a natural born talent for what he does and I genuinely cannot think of anything else I would have ever even considered putting him in. If it wasn't a chef, it would've been a cafe owner.

#shut it void #friend talk #thank you Anon!!#anonwyvern #oc: arsenic #oc: ripper #oc: shae wulfe

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paigenoelchas-blog · 1 year

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Feels Like Home

13: discussion

I am trying to give myself the courage to walk through that rusty door. So much is riding on in the next conversation. Will things even work between us after the night we had? I take a deep sigh and turn around to face the door when I noticed Jake standing there.

His jacket is rumpled and stained, and his eye and nose are swollen. His hair is rumpled, clumped in parts. I know he would not approve of this. Jake was a wanted hacker, but his appearance has always been impeccable. My feet felt as though they are made of stone, and my lips feel sealed shut. I can not speak. In part, because I don't have a clue what to say, but mostly because this should have never happened. It certainly shouldn't have happened to someone as wonderful as he is. My heart sinks when I see his face and the damage that Dan has done to him. His eyes are staring into mine with the same love they had before, but he looks away quickly. I am not sure if he is upset with me or if he is embarrassed by his appearance. He looks to me, like the man that I love, the one that I hope still loves me. There is nothing more beautiful than that.

"Some night," He says softly under his breath, there is a slight awkwardness in his words, something I hadn't experienced since we met. His eyes are looking at his feet, his hands are awkwardly behind his back as if he doesn't know what to do with them. Also, something that I haven't seen from him.

"Certainly unexpected," I respond.

I observe him closely, wanting desperately to touch his face, to make sure that he is ok. I leave my hands by my side clasping my hands into fists. I guess I am just as nervous as he is. I attempt to loosen my grasp, "Jake, I am so sorry for all of this. Are you ok?"

"I am ok," He nods as he speaks, Then he looks up slowly and speaks words in sincerity, "This is not your fault. I don't really blame Daniel. I shouldn't have brought her here. Betty didn't really give me the choice about coming here. I should have be more firm," he pauses. "Honestly, I would have assumed the same thing about him if the situation was reversed."

"I have a feeling that Betty usually gets her way." I retort, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, but she also makes you feel like it is what you want to do." A smile slowly crosses his lips.

I am glad to see his gorgeous smile, "I can see that. She is pretty amazing. I feel like I have known her for a long time."

"I told her a lot about you." He admits, looking into my eyes and letting them linger for just a moment. "I am glad that you like her." He pauses and then something crosses his face, "You know Betty and I are just friends, right? I didn't do the things that Daniel accused me of."

"I know, she told me. I was glad to hear it." I respond with a nod letting him know that I trust him. Though I wasn't sure he understands just how happy I am to hear those words from his mouth.

"Can we sit and talk or do you need to get home?"I ask.

"Talk." He walks close to me and I can smell his molasses, syrupy, woodsy scent that I had gotten so used to. I have missed that so much. I have missed everything about him if truth be told. It hasn't been long, but to me, it feels like decades. He pulls out a chair for me, As I sit, his hand runs across my back causing a shiver across my body. I'm almost sure his hand lingered for a bit.

----------------

Jake's POV:

I just touched her and I instantly felt the warmth of her surge through me. I can't believe that being in the same space as she is brings me back to life. I have to remember to keep this to myself. I can not share everything that I am feeling all at once. It is too much. Betty is right. I have to back off. I can not lose her again.

"I got your message about five minutes ago. My phone was...displaced for a while. I'm glad that you wanted to talk. I wasn't sure if we would get the chance again." I want her to understand how devastating this would have been for me, but again, I need to calm down. I need to keep the intensity of my feelings to myself. I sit down in a chair across the table from her. It is too far away and yet it is where I have to be right now.

"I am glad that we are talking, too. I wasn't sure if you would want to after what I did." She looks down, unable to look at me. Her hands folded in her lap in a nervous gesture. I want to do anything to relieve her insecurities.

"I am sorry if you doubted my feelings for you or my desire to reunite," I say, sincerely.

I can't believe that she would question my need for a resolution with her. I would do most anything to keep her in my life.

-------------------

Mahri's POV:

He is uncomfortable. I can tell by the formality of his speech. It is the language he uses when he feels that he needs to protect himself. I am sorry that I have ever made him feel that way. I hope I can make it up to him. I will try to do whatever it takes.

"I never doubted your feelings for me. I never once doubted my feelings for you," I start as I force myself to look up at him with a hopeful face. He reaches across the table for my hand. He grabs it instantly and holds tight. I can tell of his unwillingness to let me go. He sighs deeply as if he'd been holding his breath.

He looks up, his eyes full of question, "Then why did you decide to be done with us?" His voice has an edge to it that I don't recognize. It is a fair question that deserves an honest answer.

"I just got scared. All of this talk of a beautiful future and a wonderful life, I wanted it. I imagined a wonderful future with you." I pause.

He looks confused and sad, then speaks, "I pushed you too hard, shared too many of my thoughts." He is asking me more than telling me.

"Not exactly. I haven't told you all of my past yet. It may explain a few things, but I always screw things up. I couldn't imagine having a great life with you and then losing it. I was afraid of hurting you and losing myself when we stop loving each other." I hope my words make sense. I have been in a jumble of emotions for the last few days, I don't think that I eat explaining things clearly.

"Why do you assume that would happen? Why do you think we are doomed to fail?" He asks incredulously.

----------------

Jake's POV:

I watch her. Her hand hasn't released mine, though I don't think I would have let it go even if she tried to remove it. I am so close to her again. I can smell her orange blossom shampoo and see those beautiful green eyes that I have gotten so fond of getting lost in.

"Because, Jake, it always happens." Her voice is firm. "Every time my life is happy, every time I think that this is the most amazing thing to happen, it falls apart. I have a hard time recovering when it does. I feel more for you than I have for anyone, and I barely recovered from my last breakup." I want to hug her as a tear forms on her cheek, but I am not sure where we stand. I settle for putting my other hand on top of hers.

Lame, this is lame.

I try to reassure her with my words, "Mahri, we have both had a significant amount of tragedy in our lives, though I don't know the extent of yours yet, I know that trusting in a life with someone is hard. Especially when we have known each other for such a short time. Lo...It is normal to be scared. It is normal to want to go slow and not rush things. I am sorry that in the past you've had no one willing to fight for you. I will fight for all of your happiness. I wish you would have talked to me about this before you gave up because I am not going anywhere."

Betty, damn her for knowing the truth before I realized it. I pushed her too hard. It wasn't our love that she doubted. It was the thought of that love coming to an end.

"What if we didn't focus on the ending of the relationship and just spent time being together and enjoying the moments that we have?" I continue.

"That's exactly what Jessy said." Mahri smiles and the whole world lights up even though it is midnight.

"I always knew that Jessica was a wise woman." I smile back at her trying to convey all of the love and hope I have, trying to light up her world up as she does to mine."

"So you forgive me for being such a chicken and for trying to end things?" Her eyes are wide and her gaze is intent.

"If you need forgiveness, it is granted, but I don't think you need to be forgiven for anything. If anything, you need to forgive me for pushing too hard and too fast. I'm not very patient when I decide that I want something." I scoot my chair closer to her and put her hand on my lap. I begin to run my thumb on the back of her hand. She doesn't flinch or pull back so I continue. "Will you forgive me?"

"If you need forgiveness, it is granted, but I don't think you need to be forgiven for anything." She repeats my words to me. Cheeky. She is so beautiful. As a gust of wind blows through her hair the air is filled with her scent. I have a hard time controlling myself. I realize that she may not want me this close, "Is this ok? Should I let go of your hand?" I ask her quickly. I am nervous that I will do something stupid like Betty warned me about.

"Of course it is ok. I'm not going to flinch if you touch me. I love your touch and your warmth, your kisses and your love for me." She looks up and meets my eyes. This time, she doesn't look away. I can see her deep love in them. I feel my heartbeat for the first time in what feels like forever and my body heats up.

"Ok," I lean in a little closer, but not too close. I don't want to scare her off. I lower my voice to just above a whisper, "Let's be logical. You are the boss. I am at your mercy in the truest of terms. For the time being, you set the pace for the time we spend together. The truth is, I would spend every second of every day with you. I would hold you and never let go. I understand that we need to slow down. I don't think I am capable of that. You get to be the boss."

"I don't want that." She responds firmly.

---------------

Mahri's POV:

He looks down as if ashamed.

"I want to spend all of my time with you as well, but WE need to slow down and figure this out together. No one needs to be the boss. That won't work for either of us." I turn to face him and pull his chin up. I want to make sure I am being clear and that he is focused. I need him to hear me and my intentions.

I continue, "Let's have fun. Let's have romance, like dancing in the rain, and let's do silly things like bowling or going to a fair. Let's get to know each other more. Let's keep talking if one of us gets uncomfortable. Let's just love each other without worrying about where it is all going."

"Ok, if you make me a promise," he says. I would promise him anything right now.

"Sure." I nod.

"Promise me that you won't shut down if you feel this way again. Talk to me. Don't push me away." He looks so sad as he speaks. "I don't know what I would do. These past few days have been some of the hardest of my life."

"I don't ever want to do that again. The last two days were also torture for me." I touch his cheek with my free hand. He brushes some loose hair out of my face. and he watches me for a moment.

"Let's not do that again." He says firmly. It was almost an order.

"Agreed." A slow smile crosses my face. I think we are going to be ok. I believe that this time, it just might work.

We sit outside for a while, just enjoying each other's company. We don't talk, he just holds that one hand, afraid to lose the connection that we had been missing. I was watching the clouds that seemed so ominous earlier. Now they danced with the moon. Sitting next to him, my hand in his, our shoulders touching, I feel at peace.

He finally breaks the silence, "I should go in and check on Betty."

"I think it is Phil you should be checking on. Betty has her eyes on him." I chuckle.

Jake chuckles as well. I love to hear him laugh. It is one of my favorite sounds.

"You're probably right. Betty is a formidable woman," he says, agreeing with me.

We stand up to enter the bar. Jake releases my hand and I feel the warmth leave my body. Then, he moves in close.

"Can I hug you?" He asks nervously.

"Of course, but Jake, you don't have to ask." Looking deeply into his eyes.

"I do. I don't want to lose your trust and I want you to stick around." He is speaking honestly and sharing his fears with me. I am glad that we didn't lose this.

Before he can lean in for a hug, I lunge at him wrapping my arms around him in a big hug. He wholeheartedly returns the gesture, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding tight. It comforts my soul like a warm blanket. His arms stay around my waist and mine wrap around his. We stay there for quite some time, listening to each other breathe, our hearts melt into each other again, trying to find their rhythm and repose.

I reach up to touch his cheek and he winces. I had almost forgotten about the incident from earlier. I gently touch his cheek and make sure he is ok. I gingerly kiss his wound.

"I am so sorry, I am going to kill Dan...if I ever speak to him again," I repeat the sentiment. I never want him hurt. I hope I never cause him hurt.

"The truth is, I respect Dan for his care for you. It makes me respect him more," Jake replies.

"Really? I don't respect him more. He was acting like a bully. Someone punches you and you are grateful? What kind of superhuman are you?" I am in awe of what a tremendous person he is.

His hands are still around my waist right where they should be. His eyes are locking on mine and I am lost, completely lost.

"I am only the kind of person who trusts people who love you enough to protect your honor and life. The kind that is grateful to know that you will be taken care of always." He responds. "Dan cares for you and would fight to protect you. How could I not value that?"

I turn around and lean into him, my head resting on his shoulder. I don't know how long we stayed there, but I felt him start to fidget. "M...I could stay here all night, but I am sore and think my medicine is running out. He wraps his arm around my waist and leads me into the bar to check on Phil and Betty.

We see them across the room, laughing and flirting. She nods as I signal to her that we are leaving. Betty smiles giving me a thumbs up as she turns back to Phil. I need to get Jake home, he needs rest. I am happy and at peace, back with my love in the place my heart wants to be. I will try to loosen up my scaredy-cat heart and enjoy each day granted to Jake and me.

#duskwood jake #duskwood everbyte #iamjake #duskwood jake x mc #jake duskwood #mc #jake x mc #mc x jake #duskwood mc #jake donfort

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jcylenz · 2 years

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DEWANDA WISE for Vanity Fair (2022)

#dewanda wise #dewandawiseedit #jurassic world dominion #jwdedit #jurassicworldedit #dailywomen #dailywomensource #pocsource #pocedit #flawlessbeautyqueens #mine #myedit #*#honestly i didn't do much with these cause she just looks IMPECCABLE #ugh i love her so much #that second picture especially with that LAUGH #and the first one is just majestic

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smhtaehyung · 2 years

Text

Ugliness of Complexity ➳ (1)

THIS IS A BEAUTY OF SIMPLICITY SEQUEL

masterlist

chapter 1 : loners meet again

➳ pairing: kim taehyung x reader

➳ genre: smut, angst, comedy(?)

➳ summary: after drifting apart from Taehyung after he moved to Seoul to study art, you meet him at the worst place possible. A party. Loners attend the dreaded party once again.

➳ word count: 4,5k

It's funny how life seems so simple when you're a teenager. Everyone thinks there's some sort of a scheme that you must go through as an adult. A fixed idea perhaps that pushes you through life by setting a task for everything - studying in a stable field, finding a job, being in a loving relationship and all the other things that make life sound not so bad.

Once that passion for a stable life fades quickly, you are left with the pleasure of being young and young only. So naturally, life after high school seemed to change. But the change depended on different factors.

The loud sound of music in the living room invited you in a pleasing manner, given you went to parties every weekend since you decided to not care about studying at university anymore. You were failing, hard. Regardless of how underwhelming your local university was, the thought of going to Seoul and fitting in your fancy pants was the last thing you wanted to do. It seemed like Taehyung managed to shift easily to that lifestyle. Honestly, seemed like it was too easy for him.

The thing was, Taehyung stopped calling three months after he moved, so the plan of seeing him on Christmas failed along with many other plans you two had.

You hated that still, after three whole years, the thought of him left a sour taste in your mouth. The feeling of betrayal was way too real and serious for it to be ignored or pushed to the side. So, you did what you unfortunately knew well - stayed at your town, got much more bitter and disappointed with yourself, and avoided any topics about Taehyung and Seoul. Hell, you even avoided his house and family by coming home through the back door. And that habit has been going on for years.

It wouldn't be fair to say that you were failing your studies and life plans because of Taehyung, but him not reaching out anymore certainly didn't help. Everything started to go downhill once you finally reached the cursed twenties and realized all the downsides to every life plan.

So, having fun every weekend was your way to cope with failure. Not a good way to deal with issues, but you were very aware of it.

The party you were at was in your neighborhood. It was one of your friends from university who was also very displeased with the whole educational system, especially in the medical field you both were studying. Still, she was a great company for you two to rant.

"Hey, I was looking for you." Jae hugged you tightly, already quite tipsy.

"You good? I brought some weed." You joked around, giving her a compelling look.

"Oh my god, finally! I met some people from Seoul, they didn't bring any! I thought they had the good stuff!"

"What do you mean you met some people from Seoul? Isn't this your house?" You giggled drunkenly, trying to crack the code.

"A friend of mine came and brought a few friends. If I knew they didn't have anything fancy to offer, I wouldn't have let them in, ugh." She scoffed.

Jae was sometimes too direct with her thoughts, especially when drunk, but most of the time she meant no harm. Some situations with her family screwed her over in life, causing her to become a huge opportunist. You admired her way of thinking sometimes, loving that she doesn't take shit from anyone.

"Let's go smoke." You immediately spoke, taking her hand and walking to the backyard. The music wasn't as loud anymore, and some people were standing by the pool, observing the lights coming from the water. See, Jae's parents had just put a new light system in her pool, causing the water to look neon blue. The color was impeccable, the water reflecting on the entire backyard.

"This is so cool!" You sat down by the pool, still feeling tipsy.

"I know, right? So glad the summer is approaching. Ugh, I can't wait to finish this stupid year." She sat down, giving you rolling paper and already rolled filter tip.

You sat down, beginning the drunken process of rolling a joint.

"Hopefully I finish this year just so I can say I finished something." You shook your head in disappointment, mixing the weed with the tobacco.

"I know how you feel. I was thinking of enrolling to a different college actually." Jae spoke truthfully.

A bad idea - You thought, knowing Jae gives up easily on most of the things.

As Jae was rambling about her many wishes that weren't that grounded or realistic, you managed to roll a joint, lighting it up immediately.

The sharp taste made your throat close up a bit mid sentence, but you still managed to speak your mind.

"I don't know. You can always try. All I know is, I'm not going to Seoul, no way."

"Why though?"

"I told you. People become assholes."

"One people." Jae drunkenly commented.

"He's just one of many." You talked about Tae, hating he was still a topic in your life.

"Well, I'm glad I didn't met him. He sounds awfully impressionable." Jae commented. After a few puffs, you passed her the joint, observing some people that hanged around the pool.

The strong smell of weed you were smoking made a few people's instincts tingle. Especially ones who were dying for a few puffs. Especially Taehyung.

You had no idea that the "few people from Seoul" who came to the party were Taehyung and a couple of his friends from his university that Jae knew well. Taehyung was mingling with people, meeting some old friends and enjoying the small talks just so he could prove he's not the fool everyone remembers him for. He drank a little bit only to ease the pressure of coming to his neighborhood after three years. His family visited him by traveling to Seoul, but Taehyung never really wanted to return back. Yet, after a couple of years, he was still hoping to run into you, but he had no words prepared as to what to say to you. And he hated himself for it. He hated to admit it, but the big city life really got to him, completely abandoning that teenager version of him that was filled with 90% of you.

He always thought you were made for Seoul by how eloquent you spoke and talked about all your intellectual interests and wonders about life. If you were to ask Taehyung, he always thought you should've studied humanistic sciences, like psychology or anthropology.

You knocked on the bathroom door. No answer. Thinking the bathroom wasn't occupied, you entered inside, only to be shocked at the view. If you weren't still haunted by Tae, during these intoxicated moments, you might have not recognized him. But, to your luck, you recognized Taehyung sitting by the window almost immediately. Not giving yourself any time to observe how the years changed him and his style, you reacted in shock, your mouth slightly parting.

Taehyung sobered up a little, for a brief second thinking he's been tripping balls due to somebody lacing his weed. Unfortunately, this is how he met you after all those years. It seemed as if Taehyung was hiding, wanting to smoke in peace, away from his Seoul friends.

"...hey, princess." Taehyung spoke out loud, hating how casual and nostalgic that sounded.

"I-You. What are you doing here?" You barely managed to speak your mind, thinking you were going to throw up from all the tension. Taehyung didn't really know what to answer, observing your quite smaller physique and more mature sense of style.

"Can we talk?" Taehyung finally focused, realizing he's been sitting in silence for a few seconds. The music from downstairs was distracting both of you. Especially since you were still standing by the door frame, not being able to step inside.

"No." You answered harshly, not being able to control your emotions. Taehyung didn't even let his brain redirect itself to the image of you leaving, but without a thought, he stormed after you, managing to follow you through the crowd. Once again, Taehyung felt like a teenager rushing after his dream girl, joint still in hand.

You exited through the back door, finding yourself in the backyard by the illuminating blue pool. Taehyung made you quite impressed because he was already standing in front of you, trying to confront you. His dark eyes were the most striking under this light, making you stop for a moment to observe his looks. He had matured quite a lot. His style seemed much more fancy and well dressed compared to how he used to look. The beret was screaming the stereotype "pompous artist" and his shoes were more shiny than the earrings on his left ear. Around his mouth you noticed a slight stubble, a clear indication to you that he was a fully fleshed grown man. His face matured, but those dark eyes always managed to bring out empathy from you. Even in this moment.

"Go away." You scoffed, going to the other side of the pool, away from everyone including him.

Taehyung didn't realize it, but by following you, he stepped into a trap. A trap he found himself in before. People from the other side of the pool, which you recognized from your high school, were observing the two of you, starting to gossip all over again.

"What? Go away means something different in Seoul?" You provoked in a thick accent.

Taehyung kept silent, hating that no words could sound right in that moment. He knew that whatever he said, he would just feel ashamed.

You started to notice people looking at you.

"I don't want this attention." You sat by the pool, taking a joint from his hand and lighting it up to calm your nerves.

"Don't you think we're passed that?" Taehyung spoke, immediately regretting it after seeing your reaction.

"No, because you ran away from it. I had to face all of them months, YEARS later." You emphasized, hating how provoking you sounded.

"I'm sorry. I'm-I'm trying-" Taehyung sat down a bit too close to you, making you scoot to the opposite side.

"Can we just smoke this in peace and not talk about this?" You cut him off, inhaling another smoke and passing him the joint. It sure looked like the old days, but didn't feel like it.

Taehyung nodded, happy to just be around. He was well aware of how much he fucked up after seeing you like this, and he truly hated himself for it.

The thing was, Taehyung thought, like all teenagers, that life would sort of fall into the right place without much work. Unfortunately, even though he was good with his studies, he neglected one of the most important things in his life - where he came from. He tried to disassociate from his old self, but didn't realize it left many scars.

You were sitting in silence, waiting for him to smoke faster so you could leave to prove some kind of superior role you felt the need to have over him. Objectively, it was weird seeing two ex best friends who haven't seen each other in years smoke joints in absolute silence. It was so much different than how it used to be. You were angry Taehyung was involved in most of your life. Sitting in silence by a person who saw you laugh, cry, masturbate, and was present to hear all your stupid questions. A person who took your first kiss and virginity and who decided to show you off in front of the entire school instead of hiding you. And you admired him for it, but a new found ego tripper fighting with a stubborn defensive girl he used to know was a new reality.

"You look so...small."He took a deep breath, his dull tone catching you off guard. It wss these weird comments that made you dig for Taehyung inside this man who looked awfully similar to him.

"Thanks. Ass and thighs are still here, can't get rid of them." You were showing off a little bit, hoping he'd feel bad.

"Then don't." His words made you roll your eyes. It made Taehyung break a slight smile before passing you the joint.

"I take it back, you are exactly the same, without the whole fancy coat, nice shoes get up and that god awful sterile accent." You inhaled deeply, not even noticing how quickly his smile faded.

"I find that quite offensive." He spoke more eloquently, trying to avoid an argument. You took a few puffs, passing him the joint that was almost done, saving him a few puffs. You got up without a comment.

"Are you seriously leaving now?" Taehyung was staring at you from the ground, his eyes desperate. You noticed Jae looking at you with a concerned look. It did seem as if she cracked the code.

"Hey, we had the dreaded reunion joint, nice catching up with you. See you around." You managed to spoke casually, thanking heavens you weren't sober in that moment because you knew you'd be overthinking everything hard.

It was weird to act this way in front of him, but sitting next to Taehyung after a few years made you realize how much his whole aura and persona changed, and you didn't like that one bit.

Taehyung watched you walk away, hating how casual you looked. However, he knew exactly what you were feeling.

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Slightly hungover from the previous night, you woke up Saturday morning, hearing some louder thuds come from downstairs. Your parents were discussing some sort of a packing plan really loudly.

"God, I have to move out." You spoke out loud, always saying that same sentence every time you realized you were too old to be woken up on a hangover Saturday morning by your parents. Didn't feel as if you matured completely.

You stumbled downstairs, trying to seem as if you weren't so hungover, but your puffy face and big dark circles around your eyes were more impactful than your fake well rested act.

As soon as you entered the living room they stopped packing a small suitcase behind them.

"What are you guys doing?" Your tone did not sound impressed or positive at all.

"Well, you don't have to go with us, but I think I'd be good if you did come." Your dad tried to get straight to the point only to be cut off by your mom to explain it fully.

"Since the warm weather finally came, we're going to the beach house! We've invited Taehyung and his parents too, and I think It'd be good for you too to finally catch up...talk...straighten some issues. And, it's just a three hour drive. We'll be back by Tuesday!" Your mother tried to present her idea to you to the best of her abilities, given she was a very bright woman who had a positive outlook on life.

The thing was, you hated to imagine Taehyung being there. Growing up, the two families would always go to the beach house owned by your parents. As kids, you loved the seaside, playing around while your parents were hanging out by the terrace, drinking wine and talk for hours. As kids, you were quite often bored, which lead you to sneak around them and prank them with silly things. It was those nostalgic moments that popped into your head as your mother was talking.

"I don't know. Not in the mood to hang out with him." You poured yourself some juice, making them approach you closer to persuade you.

"Honey, it's a family trip as well. We haven't been to the seaside in a while. We'd really love you to go." Your mother spoke softly. You were very appreciative of your gentle parents, even though it was making everything harder for you. You took a few deep breaths.

"Fine. Don't expect me to avoid snide comments towards him. I'm going because of you two." Your tone made them both sigh in relief.

Little did you know, Taehyung was having almost the exact conversation with his parents over at his house, however Taehyung didn't wake up hungover.

"I don't know! She was so rude to me. I don't think it's a good idea for me to come on this trip." He was eating the breakfast with his dad, his mom hastily packing her stuff.

"Give it time! I know it's been bothering you, but I think it will play out fine. I mean, this is not your first big fight." His mother added

Exhausted by his parents trying to persuade him, Taehyung finally gave up.

"Fine. I'll go. Don't expect no awkward moments though. She won't budge at your sweetness." He scoffed a little, but just agreeing to the plan alone made them quite happy.

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The dreaded hour as came. It was around 9 am and your hangover wasn't getting any better. You put on your sunglasses, took a large bottle of water with you to the car and hoped for the best. Unfortunately, you met up with Taehyung and his parents. You were disappointed once you noticed his sister wasn't coming. You really felt the need to have her there. You felt like she's understand your side better.

After greeting his parents in the most welcoming way possible, you turned to Taehyung. Your parents were having small talk, accidentally leaving you alone to speak to each other

"You? Again?" Your scoffed at Tae taking a few sips of your water.

"Nice to see you too." He rested his back on the car, turning so he would face the front, not you.

"You look...hungover." He commented, making you roll your eyes.

"You look...small, you look...hungover. Your descriptions are really getting worse each second." You mocked his deep blunt voice, trying to make him feel dumb.

"Who are you? I don't even recognize you anymore." You never heard him speak in such a disappointed tone.

"Could say the same." You got into the car, not letting him say anything back to you. Your parents noticed Taehyung rolling his eyes, sighing to themselves once seeing how much you distanced away from each other.

──────────────────

After a whole day of pretending Taehyung's presence wasn't bothering you in front of your families, you finally found some quiet time. Thankfully, everyone was busy with making lunch and dinner and unpacking, so you felt as if you dodged the bullet of the first day. The first had to be the most awkward day, right?

You did catch a glimpse of Taehyung's physique every now and then. You hated how good he looked. You didn't know that Taehyung did the same. He was drooling the entire day because of you, wanting to impress you or just get you to talk to him, you didn't budge.

The dinner was the most awkward thing that happened that day. Mainly because you had to sit opposite Taehyung in complete silence while your parents were discussing something you two had no interest in. Taehyung really kept his eyes fixed on you the entire time. It made you very confused.

Finally, the after hours came. Your favorite part of the day. The moment the entire house turned silent you felt relief. You no longer didn't need to act a certain way. You no longer needed an excuse to be angry at Tae. However, feeling his presence in the house was stress inducing enough.

You finally unpacked some of your stuff and rolled yourself a joint to smoke before dozing off to sleep. The balcony looked very beautiful under the stars reflecting the light. You walked outside, breathing in the clear air. You enjoyed the soft wind that played with your hair and your dress under your cardigan. After Taehyung left your town, you had to learn how to get high alone. Granted, it wasn't as fun anymore, but smoking and getting high alone really influenced your outlook on life. it was those thoughts that deepened your perspective on the whole situation and made you really stand up for yourself. However, you really missed smoking and just having fun, feeling dumb and young and free. Somehow, that without Tae turned into a depressing bad habit.

After a few minutes of you nervously smoking the joint on the balcony, you heard a few timid knocks. Thinking it was your parents, you tried to cover your hand by hiding it behind your back. Your sighed once you saw Taehyung opening the glass doors, his posture slouched down.

"Can't you just leave me alone?" You scoffed, turning your back to him to continue smoking.

"Actually, I can't. Your room has a balcony. I want to smoke too." He pulled a joint from his pocket.

You really wanted to suggest him to go smoke outside, but given how clumsy Taehyung was, he would've accidentally push something over and cause a ruckus either coming back to his room high, or getting down there to smoke one in the first place. So, naturally, you wanted to avoid a disaster by dealing with a smaller one.

"If we can't break the ice, let's smoke it." Taehyung tried to quote a movie, the illogical sentence making you giggle. Taehyung felt success in making you laugh.

"A Beautiful Mind? Really, you watch movies like those now?" You giggled, resting your arms on the balcony fence.

Taehyung managed to get closer to you, realizing how much he missed you in moments like these. Just the two of you under a cold breeze night at the beach, smoking and enjoying the high. He only wished for you to get softer towards him. So, as Taehyung stared at you, he tried his hardest to soften you down, hoping he wouldn't say anything wrong.

"Well, kind of over the whole phase of "let's watch Final Destination when we're high of our asses" He giggled to himself.

"Touche."

"You wanna watch something later?"

You stared at Taehyung's question, hating how smooth he sounded.

"No."

On the other side, Taehyung really hated how blunt you sounded.

"Then before you go to bed, care to share if something happened in your life while I was gone?" He whispered, catching eye contact with you.

"Wouldn't you have asked before if you really cared?" You were inhaling nervously.

"I'm sorry, I know. I was just-" He tried to make an excuse, moving closer to you.

Taehyung's mind was overwhelming him. He began the worst word vomit, not being able to stop. "I panicked. I was so overwhelmed with Seoul and I was stupid for stopping texting and calling you. I never forgot about you. I just...felt as if you were doing better now that I was gone. The texts from you too. And-and It all started feeling distant. So I felt as if it was better for me to just let you be. Away from my own foolishness. I'm just-I'm sorry for hurting you. And I missed you so much and still am, even though you're here." Taehyung spoke in a very eloquent manner, making you feel quite proud that he expanded his poor vocabulary from three years ago. You hated how much his Seoul accent showed though, loving his old accent more.

"Tae, I don't know what to tell you. I'm still mad. I think this last 24 hours have been way too overwhelming for me. I can't not be mad at you." You finished smoking, putting it out. "Just, don't you have the need to touch me, hug me?" "I don't know, it's confusing. What, you have nobody to touch so you're lonely?" Your high mind completely understood his words in a wrong way. "What? No, not in that way." He turned to look at you.

"I didn't mean-I have a crush back at Seoul, okay? I wanted to ask you if all this means something to you. Like being here, does that mean anything?" Taehyung's old way of speaking poked through, making you realize he only spoke this way when high and slightly confused.

"Wow, I am getting nostalgic with you mentioning all your crushes." You sarcastically said. Taehyung ignored your comment, hating how you never took his crushes seriously. In a way, he hated he couldn't take them seriously too, so he understood and hated himself for what you said.

On the other end, you hated he mentioned that.

"What about you?" He asked, his eyes flickering with a tint of curiosity in them. You sighed, obliging his question, giving into the conversation.

"Nobody. Got out of a relationship recently." You spoke almost immediately.

"How long?"

"Two and a half. Didn't work out in the end though." You looked down, trying not to show too much emotions in front of a young man who almost completely became a stranger to you now.

"Is it someone from the neighborhood?" Taehyung asked a question which made you gulp a little bit. You almost had a feeling as if he knew who you were talking about.

It was the guy he hated the most at parties, certainly because of how he groped your thighs roughly and never gave a second to appreciate your soft lips. It was Hoseok. After Tae left for Seoul, you found yourself so angry and sad that you entered a relationship just to spite him, even though he had no idea and neither did Hoseok.

But soon enough, it really did turn into love, even though it took you two a whole year of an established friends with benefits relationship. He too fell for your charms, and hated when he heard how Taehyung left you all alone with no text, call or even a postcard as silly as it sounded. Hoseok's touches became softer and full of love. The parties were fun at the start too, but during your weight loss, you found yourself so insecure when Hoseok would chat with other girls that you thought were much prettier than you.

But as much fun as it was, drinking and weed became your occupation, so studying was difficult too. You knew you had to call it quits before it escalated. The drifting away from him part was the main thing that told you it was over. The flare was gone, so both of you agreed to stay friends, even though you haven't heard of him in a while. Classic.

"You remember Hoseok, right?" You asked in a manner that wasn't intended with provocation, hoping Taehyung wouldn't judge you.

"That scum? Really? How naive are you? He's such a narcissistic idiot." Taehyung's accent was filled with arrogance.

You started to feel anger creep up on you. "You have no idea how much he helped me after you left, so stop talking shit, Tae. Hobi really changed. People change after high school for good unlike some." You started walking away from him.

"Hobi." He scoffed at your endearing nickname as he watched you walk away.

"Just stop. I don't know why you're acting as if you weren't a fool in high school and as if you're better than him." You scoffed again to which he just stayed silent for a while, picking his words wisely. Taehyung followed you into the room.

"I'm sorry, I just hoped while I was gone that you were going to find someone who I thought was right for you. Please don't cut me off, I want to say a few more things." He stopped you before you even could cut him off.

"No, this is not one of those conversations we have when we'd get high. Not happening." You turned around only to look at him. Taehyung was truly standing way too close to you, his strong perfume hitting you. His lips barely parted, only to catch some air that left his lungs. He felt so tense standing this close, but that exact feeling made you both stand in silence for a couple of seconds. Number of words that could be said in that moment were scarce.

"I-I think you should leave." You stepped away from him, sitting on your bed.

"Can I ask you for a favor?" He walked towards the door.

"What?"

"Let's do this again tomorrow." He slightly smiled, leaving your room.

Fuck. - you thought to yourself.

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

Text

TAE TELLS: JIKOOK

It's taken me days to get round to making this blog post- commenting on another Jikooker's analysis.

Now y'all don't need me to provide a tall list on all the reasons that this a bad bad idea for me. Lol.

Been there. Done that. Doesn't end too well.

Mi nar wan treble wif gudt piipel.

But I also don't want to shy away from the conversation; whether or not Tae is good at keeping Jikook's secret. Whether that is a tell. If it is, does that mean all the times he's 'exposed' Jikook were wrong analysis etc.

Let me start off by saying, I totally admire this content creator. I don't have a particular favorite Video creator- most of my go to YouTube jikook content creators are Spanish speaking content creators, Karmy and a few Iarmy- a lot of whom have disappeared off of the surface of the internet over the years.

These days I watch just about anyone that shows up on my recommendation or home feed. Used to leave comments and what not but I've refrained from that due to privacy issues and prefer to share my thoughts on my blog instead.

Haven't seen a lot of her analysis, but hands down agree with a lot of the analysis she's made in the few I've binge watched so far- thanks to y'all who recommended her to me.

I think for the most part she knows what the fuxk she is doing. She definitely knows what she is talking about in her videos and I like that. I admire that.

I don't disagree with anything I've seen so far on her channel. Especially her thoughts on Kook. Fearless Kook. Absolutely love those.

I think she could have taken time to flesh out her theory on this whole 'Tae is good at keeping Jikook's secret' bit cos it seems that's what causing the stir? I don't know.

'If Tae is good at keeping people's secrets then there is no way he could have exposed Jikook blah blah blah'

Sigh.

Tuktukkers will jump on anything to invalidate Jikook. Sigh. Sigh.

I can't put words in her mouth, but I don't think she was interpreting Jimin's words to mean that Tae is good at keeping others' secrets and so cannot 'expose' Jikook like we been saying in this part of stan land.

And if she did mean it like that then I'm afraid I'd have to humbly disagree.

My understanding of Jimin's assertion that Tae is good at keeping a straight face when it comes to others' secret is that, he meant Tae has a strong poker face and it's hard to tell when he is lying or telling the truth sometimes.

That's all Jimin was saying. In my opinion.

Which honestly, it's truth. Tae is such an actor. A talented one at that. I mean have you been watching Run episodes?! Ayayaya.

I won't play Russian roulette with him cos imma end up with bullets in my head.

Play Texas hold'em with him at your own risk.

I mean he is the king of blank expressions in BTS. Isn't that why RM describes him as 4D?

He's only what, honed that- should we call it skills, since debut! He's become a master at it. Add his impeccable acting skills to it and its kaboom.

His blank expressions to me sometimes seem like a coping mechanism, if you will. And often times, he deliberately induces it to mask his feelings- when someone says something he finds annoying or something he is uncomfortable with.

A typical example is when JK read 'Tae Kook' in the comments during their VLive and he pretended he didn't know what the fuxk JK was talking about- prompting JK to explain to him that that was their ship name yadda yadda. Insert skull head.

Now we all know HE KNOWS TAE KOOK.

I saw a lot of jokers running around teasing Tuktukkers with the whole "look, your bias don't know y'all ship exists bye'

Listen, I'd join in on the joke- nothing makes me happy than jokers pulling some tuktukker legs but just as long as we all know and agree that's not true.

They all know of their ships.

They've known since the beginning.

They know everything.

When he said get out of your imagination I don't think it was because he had no ideas what homegal was going on about on Weverse.

Tae has many tells. When he exchanges awkward looks with RM or Jimin when Jikook or JK does something outrageous that's a tell.

When he passive aggressively smirks after revealing a detail on the whereabouts of Jimin at 1am that's equally a tell.

The slight head tilt when he says Jk don't want Jimin to come that's equally a tell.

He is very observant.

He loves to observe Jikook when they are up in their shenanigans. In my opinion. So when he is quietly looking at Jikook, observing them with no expression on his face that's equally a tell.

JK is not the only one always watching JM.

I mean he was stood right behind Jimin when he and JK were taking turns staring at eachother while Joonie was busy being eloquent. Tae saw all of that but didn't react to it.

In the recent OT7 VLive when Jimin called Jk too big or something Tae was right behind them and as I pointed out in my analysis on that, he looked away almost as soon as JK turned to look at him- JK was conscious of Tae and he knew Tae was looking at them through the viewfinder.

Sometimes he feels compelled to call them out on it too like he did in the dynamite MV when he blurted out, let's not look in the cameras when JK and Jikook were about to do their weird eye fucking absolutely gay stuff that they be doing from time to time.

All these are tells. To me at least. And I think in her video she was simply pointing out yet another tell of Taes- his blank expressions around Jikook in certain moments.

Having a poker face is one thing, having a blank expression is another.

Like I said his poker face is deliberate. He turns that on in various situations ranging from mild to not so serious circumstances like keeping others from finding out he is a mafia in a game etc.

His blank expressions are often times involuntary. His resting face. Sometimes I don't even think he realises he's blanked out.

When he don't know what to do with himself he blanks out. It's similar to how JK intensely focuses on Jimin when he doesn't know what to do with himself on set or when the cameras are rolling.

When he isn't intensely focusing on Jimin he becomes fidgety or sometimes does some really weird expressions that have popularly become various memes under the heading Jungshook.

It's not just Tae. It's not just Jimin. They all have their tells and go to expressions when they don't know what to do with themselves on camera.

Tae has a strong poker face, he is a master of blank expressions, and he is notoriously one of the most passive aggressive members in BTS.

Any of these can be tells depending on the context and situation.

-As long as we are able to distinguish between these moments and expressions I suppose.

His expression when Jikook were narrating the rain fight for example would be a blank expression and not a poker face in my opinion- a poker face is a deliberate state of induced expressionless demeanor.

Yes he had a blank expression. But I don't think that that was deliberate. That's just his go to resting face when he is not active in a moment most times.

I found his comment, 'that was a long time ago' much more telling that he knew about the rain fight and that expression of embarrassment he had on later equally said that he knew and thought Jikook were being gay unprovoked.

But that is my thought process.

I gotta respect hers too. It's valid.

Him going blank dead silence when Jimin said he loved waking up to see JK's face was more of that 'awkward, can't believe JM just did that shook moments' he gets around Jikook from time to time when they do something very shocking and gay.

I'd be lying if I said I understood what she was driving at with that bit in her video but I don't totally disagree with that.

By her stating that, I don't think she implied the opposite of it. Nor did Jimin by his statement.

Tae has a good poker face don't necessarily mean he is good at keeping secrets. I think it is much more nuanced than that.

I mean he is good at keeping your secret until he misses his best friend and soulmate then it's 'JK don't want Jimin to come' 🤺🤺🤺

Sometimes I wish Jimin were a triplet so I can slipt him between Tae, JK and RM. Suga and Hobi don't mind sharing him with the others and it seems Jin only wants his mirror so... Lmho.

And yes, Tae does give Jikook away from time to time- blank face or not.

I hope this helps??

Signed,

GOLDY

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silverinia · 4 years

Text

I came for Baranski, I stayed for Baranski - a quick Christmas On The Square review someone* actually asked for

(* thank you, anon)

Disclaimer: I am in no way a professional of any sorts when it comes to film and I'm not a journalist either. The last movie review I've written was probably for a school assignment in eighth grade. I didn't do research for this and I've watched the movie exactly one time, so this is just for fun.

It was a Sunday, Sunday the 22nd of November, nearing the end of the train wreck of a year that is 2020. I woke up on an air mattress around seven am, my head aching, my throat itching with pyrosis and light nausea, it was still dark outside behind the closed blinds in front of the windows, when I slowly realised where I was, one of my best girlfriends sleeping next to me in her bed. I had crashed at her place after a warm, fuzzy evening of mulled wine, tacky Christmas movies I would never watch alone (Christmas Chronicles and Holiday Calendar, which I quite honestly didn't enjoy at all, but the company made it fun anyway), doing our nails, wearing the fun kind of face masks for a change and smoking too many cigarettes, as the soft pain in my head informed me right now. She woke up an hour later and the morning went by with coffee and reheated pizza for breakfast, when we decided to watch another movie and I realised that it was THE Sunday I'd been waiting for through Zoom interviews and Dolly Parton twitter memes and the infamous wig gate that will be briefly discussed in the following, and so we clicked on the small icon in the Netflix menu that said "Christmas On The Square".

And oh boy, was it a ride.

To start off, I should mention that I have a hard time watching most modern day American Christmas movies, as I noticed quite vividly again when I watched the two aforementioned Netflix productions last night. The character development is always foreseeable to say the least, the plot lines are plain clichés hunting each other like they're the kids in The Hunger Games, and the writing is generally so bad that you can join the actors in reciting the entire scripts on your first watch. I watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas once a year while I'm gift wrapping and pause every fifteen minutes to shamelessly stare at forties Christine Baranski (I think we should all turn away from the birth of Jesus and instead count our years based on Christine Baranski's date of birth) in flamboyant nightgowns and short Christmas themed dresses, looking so fabulous that every interpreter of Santa Baby ever could only dream of it, I watch Love Actually at least five times a year to lust over Hugh Grant, cry with Emma Thompson and miss Alan Rickman, I enjoy Bridget Jones, which I would definitely consider a Christmas movie, and that's it. That's my yearly Christmas time entertainment routine and I can barely tolerate anything beyond, because I'm still traumatised from the time when I was around five years old and on a holiday family visit where had to sit through National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, the dumbest movie I have ever seen (my apologies if you like it but also, who hurt you?), with my cousins. I hated it. I hated every minute of it. And it scarred me for life.

But this was a Christine Baranski movie, I knew she was going to play the lead and so I was pretty much as excited about this as I could. And the fact that Dolly Parton wrote the whole thing didn't hurt either. As I said earlier to my friend I was watching it with, I have the pop cultural taste of a fifty year old gay man, a quality I am most proud of, and this simply ticked off all my boxes.

I expected something similar to a Mamma Mia experience that wouldn't cause me to crave packing my bags, give Covid the finger and run off to Greece. Light-hearted entertainment, easy to stomach, uplifting music and so little plot that the simplicity feels like a creative choice. That's what my pained, hungover brain knew it could cope with and that's not what I got.

The movie started and I was immediately in the zone. I saw Christine Baranski's name in the front credits (an experience that never fails to make me scream "Yass Queen" at the screen, regardless of where I am and who I'm with, as if I'm the sobering result that pops out of the package when you order Jonathan Van Ness on Wish), the setting was wonderfully corny (I grew up watching Gilmore Girls once a week, so give me warm fairy lights and a gazebo and I'm perfectly happy) and as my friend wondered whether Dolly Parton, in her exaggerated homeless attire that didn't make her look shabby at all, was green-screened into the setting because she stood out so much (which she was because the background dancers were dancing in slow motion, but to be fair, we were probably still a little too drunk to notice that from the start) and I told her I thought that it was just the natural glow someone who's Dolly Parton simply carries with them everywhere they go, I was happy. This was the movie I was prepared for. A movie in which the most problematic thing would be stereotypical characters and the wig they hid Christine's real, flawlessly handmade by God herself hair under.

And then, around five minutes in, Christine Baranski's childhood love interest was revealed as she pressed her perfect pointy nose against the window of his shop and sang about her unrequited love.

And suddenly, things started taking turns at a pace I was still way too sleep-deprived for.

Suddenly, in the middle of my general amazement at seeing Christine Baranski do literally anything and laughing loud at her impeccable comedic delivery, there were unresolved daddy issues, hanging prominently at the wall in her marvellously designed house (she literally says "Daddy" at one point and I couldn't help but think that only someone with her vocal skills could keep from making it sound cringe-worthily kinky). One moment, I was clutching my chest above my heart while she was bonding with little bartender Violet and munching on pretzels while downing some whiskey in that elegant way only Christine Baranski can bond with ten year olds who had it rough, eat pretzels and down whiskey, and the next she felt responsible for said girl's mother's death (which she kinda was too, but I'm not the boss of her). I was still busy making fun of how the very annoyingly, but when you're snacking on pizza with extra cheese at nine in the morning also highly funny, slow talking pastor's name was Christian, and suddenly there was a cancer scare.

It was a lot, a hasty sprint from major issue to major issue with a hint of comedic relief every now and then, and it didn't get any less until the very, rather poorly resolved, end.

The entire, constant up and down was followed by the movie's peak of suspense, the near death of precious Violet, something I couldn't even get too invested in because I was still so busy worrying about Christine's MRT results (I was truly fucking worried), not to mention that I hadn't even started to really process the sudden revelation of the love child and how it had affected her character's actions until this point. Was her constant tendency of pushing people away, as we've seen most clearly with her angel in training assistant who's name I cannot recall right now, the result of her broken trust in her father who practically ripped her son away from her after she had just given birth to him? Was it a result of her never getting the closure she needed with plaid flannel wearing Carl she was clearly still in love with? Maybe both? And what of the many issues was it that made her so incredibly shaken up when Violet blamed herself for her mother's death? Was it 'just' due to the fact that the closed pharmacy was on her, or was there more to it? Was it because she had grown up without a mother herself? Or did I miss a major piece of information because I was momentarily distracted, dumbfoundedly staring at Christine's very blue eyes? No time to ponder on that, little Silverinia, because here comes unconscious Violet in an ambulance, WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO!

I'm not going to go in depth about what plot lines I thought were especially carelessly handled and why, real standouts were the sudden forgiveness towards her father who had still acted like a shitty asshole even though he might have had his reasons, because giving the baby up for adoption just wasn't his choice to make, and the fact that I kind of didn't buy how quickly Regina managed to forgive herself, especially for Violet's mother's passing, considering how deeply her tall, slim, dare I say angelic and entrancing figure was buried beneath the weight of all her issues. It felt rushed and incomplete, but that's as detailed as it gets because my major point is something else.

I think this movie made the great mistake of trying to be more than your average, flat, happy ending Christmas movie. I think no one involved thought it was possible to make it a big hit if the only real plot would've been great Dolly Parton music, fun ensemble dance choreographies, Christine Baranski's outstanding acting skills, fun settings and costumes and a redemption arch with as little plot as it could possibly take to make Christine likable to those who aren't already lost forever in the rabbit hole of being obsessed with her (poor fuckers, can't relate). They didn't notice that with the legends that were involved, they could've easily gone the Mamma Mia way. And I think that's why they tried to include heavier plot lines than most creators would've chosen, experiencing loss at an early age, struggling to find closure, dealing with sickness, teenage pregnancy, parents forcing their choices on their children when they affect their childrens' lives first, adoption, and the fear of losing your kid.

It was a lot and I don't want to say that it didn't work because my friend was crying, like, pretty hard and I questioned my entire existence all through the movie in not the worst way, and I did enjoy it a lot while watching. The "grief is love with nowhere to go" line was a real standout, for example, where the attempt of complexity DID work. It positively gave me fleabag season two, "I don't know what to do with it now, with all the love I have for her." - "I'll take it. It sounds lovely. You have to give it to me." feels, and that's about the biggest praise I can come up with. BUT (and this is written in capital letters because it's the big but) I'm also totally convinced that I wouldn't have enjoyed it if they hadn't cast Christine Baranski for the lead role. In my humble opinion, the hasty, not really at all resolved plot of this movie only worked because Christine Baranski is just a fantastic actress. She quirks a mocking eyebrow and you laugh. She parts her perfectly painted red lips and you immediately hang on them because you don't want to miss a single breath she, a literal goddess, graces us mere peasants of people with. She smiles and you're happy. She laughs and even while she's still laughing, you can't wait to hear her do it again. Her eyes fill with tears and you feel goosebumps on your arms, her voice slightly trembles, a breath hitches in her throat and you feel your heart shattering to pieces. As Chuck Lorre once said, this woman could read you the phone book and you would end up laughing tears because she just gets the job done. She knows what she's doing, she's an absolute pro in her game, and it doesn't matter, not even a little bit, what she's working with, because the work she eventually delivers with it is always at a minimum of 200%. I forced my friend to watch this movie with me because I adore this woman, and I felt for this movie because I felt for her. It wasn't the plot that sadly brutally overestimated itself, it wasn't the songs that I obviously enjoyed, nor the comedic elements that truly made me laugh a lot, it was all her. I came for Baranski, and I stayed for Baranski. This woman can do anything. She can even look graceful in a terrible wig job.

(side note / unpopular opinion: I actually didn't think the wig was all too bad. It wasn't good, actually far from good, but for me, nothing can match the awful wig game of Mamma Mia 2. I loathed that wig, I absolutely cannot stand it. So this didn't feel all that terrible. It definitely wasn't the most problematic part about the movie.)

I enjoyed watching this. It was a nice distraction from all the bullshit in the world. Watching it today was the first thing this year that actually brought me something close to excitement about the holiday season, even though everything will be very different and probably not quite as jolly this year. But it just gave me good vibes and as someone who did not watch this as a film reviewer, that's the biggest part of what leads me to enjoy a movie.

Will I watch this again? For sure. Will I enjoy it when I'm not hungover, having freshly done nails and munching delicious pizza for breakfast? Probably not as much, but it'll still have Christine Baranski in it. Would I recommend watching this? If you share my obsession with Queen B, one hundo. If you don't, probably not.

#Christine Baranski #Christmas On The Square #dolly parton #shitty movie reviews by yours truly

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rogue-barnes-16 · 6 years

Text

CAREFUL, SWEETHEART (part XII/?)

Summary: sadness and alcohol can lead us to make a mess of a situation, and a mess can lead us to the biggest mistakes, but can the biggest mistakes lead to something else?

Pairing: Tony Stark x enhanced young!Reader

Genre: angst-fluff (with a bit of fun)

Tags:

Careful, Sweetheart:

@tone-stark @mugglebucky @sofreakinmanyfandoms @cryforfandoms @lilulo-12 @rebeccaitsnotwhatyouthink @vxidnik @edwisenpai

Permanent taglist:

@notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms

Warnings: language, FEELS.

A/N: this is kinda lame but I'm having personal problems, so this is all I had time for. I hope you enjoy it, feedback is always appreciated guys <3.

Careful, sweetheart masterlist

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

Tony ran his hand over his face and scoffed "what could be worse than messing our friendship up again, sweetheart?" he grabbed his boxers and put them on. "because I fucking doubt there's something else to fuck up" He kept rumbling frustrated, about how we couldn't do anything right or something like that.

I wasn't really listening to him, since I got stuck in the fact that he didn't remember. The fact that it hadn't been him talking last night, but the alcohol. The fact that I was sober enough to remember telling him that I loved him for the third time, and to realize he didn't mean what he said.

And it broke me.

Someone opened the door abruptly, and we both froze in place. The first one to get it was Sam. "I told you guys they fucked. They were so damn loud" he looked at us with disgust as Rhodey and Wanda came in.

She stared at us in complete shock. "I can't believe it" she whispered, crossing her arms over her chest. "what the hell happened with the 'we're just friends' thing, Y/n?"

Great. My younger sister was scolding me. "I think I'm a grown ass woman, Wan" I hissed, mimicking her posture.

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose, but before I could say anything, Rhodey spoke "if you're a grown woman start to behave like one" Okay, that was new. "and you" he looked at Tony exasperated. "care to explain me why is Pepper downstairs asking for you?"

Tony seemed caught off guard. But I saw something like hope in his eyes, and God, it hurt. "Pepper's downstairs?" my voice sounded so fucking small, so weak, that I felt ashamed.

Rhodey parted his lips slightly, the surprise shown in his face now mixing with confusion. "she was talking about something like a date with Tony, I think"

It didn't matter how harsh I gripped both of my forearms. It didn't matter I was trying to seem unaffected. Because my lower lip quivered anyways, and my heart started to ache. I felt tears threatening to fall, because it hit me like a freight train.

Tony just needed a quick fuck.

I should have had figured it out. He had been talking about Pepper for three weeks. Three fucking weeks. He had never been that much with anyone, and he had never seemed so in love.

Probably they had had an argument, and alcohol along me trying to cheer him up had been the worst combination ever.

I somehow understood. But that didn't stop my pain, nor my rage. "just put your shit together and go downstairs to talk with Pepper, for fucks sake."

With that, Rhodey left. Wanda followed his lead after giving me a sad glance. "next time you fuck, keep it down, 'kay?" Sam said, right before exiting.

As soon as the door closed, my tears fell down my cheeks, and my hands started to heat up. "Y/n just let me explain this. I can't remember what I told you last night in the party, but I can explain this."

Silence.

He was waiting for me to give him permission to continue. When I didn't speak, he placed a hand over my shoulder. "Y/n? Just tell me I you'll listen, sweetheart. Please"

I started to feel the heat against my forearms, slowly increasing, but I didn't care. I honestly couldn't distinguish between physical and emotional pain. It felt like he had just burned my heart, reducing it to ashes.

He noticed the damage my pyrokinesis was causing on my skin, and he didn't think twice before grabbing my hands with his. He flinched and cursed under his breath when he held them, and rapidly change his position to grab my wrists. "careful, sweetheart"

I jolted my arms away from him, letting them fall to my sides. I looked into his eyes, and I didn't think twice, I just said it. "I hate you so much..."

First thing was confusion, like he hadn't understand me

Then disbelief. Of course he wouldn't believe it. But with a second look into my eyes, the next emotion showed up.

Pain. Pain because he knew I meant it, because our friendship was over, this time for good.

Then the guilt came. He was blaming himself, but it was just an instant.

Because as soon as panic showed up in his gaze, the guilt disappeared.

He froze, so did I. I was sure I didn't really hate him, but in that moment, it felt like that, and I just wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt me.

But it was a mistake. I didn't know how I managed to get it, but I instantly knew he was much more in pain than I was. And not because he loved me, no. It was because, no matter what I thought, or what he would admit, deep down we knew we were one of the most important parts of each other's lives.

"Tony" Steve came in while Tony was getting dressed. He was avoiding my gaze at all costs, and I didn't know how to fix it, so I just stood still. "Pepper's downstairs."

His demanding captain voice came out, and gosh it got me on my nerves, but Tony? Tony wanted to punch him. "I'm. getting. dressed."

Steve shoot him a warning glance right before Tony walked towards the door. "Tony." he didn't listen to Steve, walking past him. And Steve held Tony's forearm.

He turned around abruptly, pushing Steve hand and arm away from him. "Don't fucking touch me, Rogers" he hissed.

"calm down right now" Steve commanded.

"I'm not one of your soldiers" Tony spit out.

Someone was going to get hurt, and, if it was another day, I would have stopped them, but today? Today, they could fuck themselves.

I passed by between them, pushing them aside and making both of them stumble. "I hope you beat the shit outta each other!"

And with that, I walked to my room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

TONY'S P. O. V.

Put yourself together, damnit!, I internally scolded myself. Because I had to seem collected, Steve was right behind me and I just couldn't allow the Golden boy to see my cry.

Just a handful of people had seen me cry. My parents, Rhodey, and Y/n. And I wasn't planning on adding anyone else.

But the tears welled my eyes, it hurt to hold them back. "I know the way to my damn office, Rogers" I let out in a hiss.

He didn't stop walking behind me. The only difference was that now, he spoke. "what were you thinking Tony?" he asked in an incredulous whisper. "Did you see her face? You broke her!" my fists clenched at his words. "you used her, and know you have your girl in your office, because you have no control over-"

"You're so" I turned around, facing him. "damn. Hypocrite." he was going to say something, probably something about his impeccable and heroic life, and how he had never do something immoral. But I cut him off before he could get started. "why don't you go and fuck with your bestfriend's girl again?" he went livid "Does Wanda know about it?"

"she doesn't have to." he answered coldly. I scoffed and he kept going. "Wanda and I weren't dating when it happened."

"whatever helps you to sleep at night, Cap" I quickly walked away at the same time as I felt those burning tears running down my cheeks.

It had hurt too much to hear her saying it. I knew she would end up hating me. Everyone does, somehow. But those three words killed me.

I got in my office, wiping my tears. Pepper was already sitting in one of the chairs. "Morning, dear" I greeted her.

I sat down, the hangover finally kicking in. "I reconsidered your offer" she stated. I just nodded, grabbing a pair of sunglasses from one of my desk's drawers and putting them on, trying to block the light. "however, I still think breaking up would be the best, for" she gave me a knowing look before sighing. "for different reasons."

"well, it's a pity, but I think I agree with you-" I pinched the bridge of my nose in a vain attempt to decrease my headache. "fucking alcohol" I grabbed the contract from my desk and slid it to her. "like I was saying, I doubt dating my CEO will give Stark Industries a good reputation."

Pepper started to read the contract with a ghost of a smirk. "I don't know if Stark Industries' reputation would be affected, but I'm sure Y/n will"

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