long personal post about grimes

sorry about this post. i had to get this out of my head.

okay one more post about grimes i promise and then i’ll try to stop talking about and thinking about this shit person for a while, but this song (linked at the bottom of this post) literally changed my life. that’s not a joke. i can trace a lot of things in my life back to hearing and becoming obsessed with this song. i owe it a lot. it’s not a perfect song, but it’s perfect to me, and i met people because of becoming a grimes fan after hearing this song that i’m glad i got to know. 

i had a grimes mutual who i talked with sometimes, and they were dating another grimes fan at the time, and i was talking to that second one a bit and i thought they had a lot in common with my partner, so i introduced my partner to these two and they became really close lol. my partner, remy, ended up becoming really good friends with them, and flew out to arizona to spend a week with one of them, our friend charlie, in 2018. the other one, milo, is still a friend of mine too. milo got into kpop a couple years before i did and follows this sideblog actually lol. neither milo nor i went by our current names when we met, we’ve grown a lot over the years. 

it’s not even about grimes anymore lmao it’s more about the impact her music and being a fan of her music had on me. it’s not just those two friends either, it’s that her music helped set me on the path i’m still on today. maybe i’ve progressed further down that path than grimes ever will lmao, who knows. or my path is aimed in a (hopefully) good direction, while her path is aimed at (apparently) just being garbage in all the possible ways. 

i think i found this song in the related videos on a youtube video of a song by purity ring or something lol, it was pretty new at the time i think. i dont remember exactly when... i think it was over the summer of 2015. the video was posted in march and art angels came out in november, so i think i probably found it around may or june. it was a really rough time for me. it was the summer after my first year of college. when i started that first year of college, i was dating someone, and when i ended that first year, i had had not one but two really shitty breakups from shitty relationships. i only dated the second person for a couple months, but it culminated in her calling the cops on me when she thought i was suicidal, so.... anyway, yeah. also in my first semester i failed two classes. when i came back to school in the fall for my third semester, i failed more classes, had another really bad semi-relationship, and was placed on academic suspension which means that for the spring of 2016 i was home while all my friends were on campus. i was depressed and unsure of what to do about my adhd making me really bad at school, lol. 

i mean like when i discovered this grimes song, it was before that stuff from the fall of 2015, but when that fall 2015 stuff was happening, i escaped into her music a lot. i started dating my current partner towards the end of that semester too, the first person who i felt like actually cared about me (and who had been a close friend for a while at that point), so i associate grimes’s music a lot with things like that too. with feeling sorry for myself and with feeling like i shouldnt have to be someone im not. just because the system doesnt work for me doesnt mean i have to change myself. maybe college isnt for me after all. i ended up going back and then dropping out in 2017 but... anyway. grimes’s music also represents dating my current partner and realizing that i’m not straight and eventually, little by little, that i’m not cis. it was the soundtrack to everything that was going on for me at that time. 

im not sure im really capturing in words all the significance it has on me. it did other things too, like open up my taste in music and expose me to pop music or pop-style music when i had spent most of my time avoiding pop music because of... idk... toxic masculinity? internalized... idk... internalized homophobia? misogyny? transphobia? not wanting to acknowledge that i could like things that were girly? whatever that means? take your pick lol. its not like i was a macho bro, i was just avoiding things. didnt wanna think about them. thats why even though i listen to a lot of pop and dance music now, my music-fan-background is mostly punk, ska punk, death metal, black metal, and a tiny bit of underground hiphop that i got into in college, and of course, a tiny bit of nu metal i was unfortunately into in middle and high school lmao. i had a lot to unlearn and im glad i have been doing that! i think on some level though, it’s not because of grimes, i was started to dabble with these feelings and realizations anyway, and if it wasnt grimes it would have been someone or something else. as i said, i found this song from a purity ring video, so i was already dabbling in music and aesthetic that were outside my typical aggressive comfort zone lol. but anyway, grimes is the one i latched onto. i dont regret it, i just wish everything that’s been happening with her in the last two years was uh... not happening. 

long story short... this song changed my life

If ur still doing that ask game uh 002 metadede ship wishlist :D

mario WAHOO noise great job starting self-indulgent hours anon (thank you)

002 | Send me a ship and I will tell you:

When I started shipping them:

i had to check my archives for this. apparently the first metadede post i reblogged was january 2020, but looking at that post i think i shipped them even a bit before that. i do very clearly remember however, when i first joined the fandom and saw that ship, that i thought it was weird and that i thought shipping kirby characters/circles in general was kinda weird. hahahahaha oh my gosh look at me now

My thoughts:

they're idiots 💖 they make each other lose braincells and feed each others bad ideas. more than that, they know that they dont have to act a certain way in front of each other. they dont need to impress or feel like they need to set an certain example, so they can really relax and have fun. adult to adult friendship 🤝

What makes me happy about them:

okay okay repeating myself a lot around here but hey two sole adults with a long history. hating each other but then being forced to get to know each other and then LEARNING TO RESPECT AND ESTABLISH MUTUAL TRUST. im so weak for enemies to friends i cant get over it 🤦‍♂️

What makes me sad about them:

hmmm nothing? i loooove drama between these two lmao so very little could make me sad about them. unless in canon they said explicitly they dont trust each other that would be sad 👎

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

i don't actually read that much fanfic, i think the metadedes ive read were just oneshots/otherwise really short and im gonna be honest i dont remember what happens in most of them. trying my best though, im gonna answer this with i think conflicts are solved too easily. its like one snuggle later and everythings okay. to be fair most metadede centered fics are fluff/comfort so whatever you know, i dont go in expecting that stuff from it

Things I look for in fanfic:

as said before i dont read much fanfic, especially long fanfic. i like short oneshots :) but if i did read long fanfic 👇 see below

My wishlist:

*deep breath* i want more metadede content where they drive in the enemies to friends to lovers. i want them to be the biggest mess ever and argue all the time and be petty and kick each others asses before they understand each other. the kf2 novel was pretty fun in that regard. this might be an unpopular opinion but as i said before just hhrhrhghg when theres stuggle it makes the end result more rewarding. the boys gotta work for their happy end

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

meta with whoever honestly, theres a ton of candidates out there. metagala or metaroach esp though. and dedede i guess with queen ripple. i dont ship those two but i hc that dedede had a crush on her for a while

My happily ever after for them:

kinda thought about this before and its a bittersweet answer. not cause i love sad stuff and drama in my ship this time surprisingly.

meta loves doing his own thing. taking some stuff from the novels (i think puppet princess in this case) he likes living freely, that's why he doesn't serve under anyone or take orders. he travels the universe a lot for one reason or another, and i think he can't live without exploring and adventuring. compared with dedede who likes being grounded in one place to protect everyone and cant leave dreamland, their lifestyles are incompatible. i cant imagine them settling down together like couples usually would. best case scenario i have is meta is only out some parts of the year, so he visits and lives in dreamland as much as he can, and he calls dedede often when he cant. bit of a long distance relationship :')