#hilda and the fairy village
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#hilda#hilda netflix#hilda the series#hildatheseries#hilda novels#hilda and the fairy village#hilda n9#pooka#the pooka hilda#the pooka
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since I can't get any of the Hilda books (because I'm a little broke lol), I decided to read the summary of them on wiki instead
and while I was reading, a thought occurred to me (rare occurrence, I know)
SPOILERS for Hilda and the Fairy Village
while I can't check if all of the summary is actually true or not, since, again, I don't have the books, I'm gonna trust whoever made the wiki page and assume it is
so at one point, it says that, after Johanna spent some time with her parents (who are fairies btw), her hair started turning blue, same color as her parents' and Hilda's, which is "a sign of her fairy heritage emerging"
and as I was reading this, I immediately remembered a certain other character, who also happens to have a little bit of blue hair...
The Bell Keeper
before I, and many other people, used his blue streaks of hair as evidence, that the Bell Keeper was either Hilda's dad or some other kind of relative (like uncle or something). but "Hilda and The Faratok Tree" confirmed that he's not her father and that Hilda's dad is a different guy named Anders (who is a human)
so I've had a thought:
since having blue hair isn't necessarily a sign of being related to Hilda's family, but rather the sign of the person having a fairy heritage, could this mean that the Bell Keeper is also part fairy, simular to Johanna and Hilda?🤔
from what wiki says, it seems like he doesn't appear in any of the 3 new books at all and Johanna's parents don't even mention him, meaning he's still ain't related to Hilda, otherwise they'd probably say something about the guy. but since it's pretty known that the tie-in novels and the show aren't one-to-one in terms of plot progression and have had some differences here and there, perhaps the Bell Keeper could appear in season 3 and play some sort of role or at least be mentioned by Hilda in, like, some sort of conversation between her and her grandparents (assuming she even noticed his blue hair streaks)
but I dunno, maybe, after the 3rd season comes out, it might turn out that I'm completely wrong, and there's some other reason why he has blue hair streaks
or maybe I'm right, but he won't play any role at all and it'll just be like a small detail that some fans might notice and go "oh, that's pretty neat"
or maybe my autistic ass is just interpreting everything wrong again
idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I just thought I'd share this lil' thing because it seemed kinda interesting to me
(also if Johanna's hair turned blue, does it mean she looks like this now?👁👁)
#hilda the series#hilda netflix#hilda novels#hilda johanna#hilda and the fairy village#the bellkeeper hilda#(not sky cotl related)#hilda bellkeeper
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The spider toad was not such a wasted character, but his other mysteries surrounding him were. +
Although it only came out for one chapter, I feel that it was well used even with so little screen time. Needless to say, it gave us all a good scare when it swallowed the protagonist herself and her mother (I did have an expression similar to Twig's). +
But returning to the main topic, and leaving aside some traumas, I would like to talk about these beings. He says it is some kind of entity from long ago, older than some creatures in that world. We have to admit that that would be at least 2 chapters of the series to investigate and deepen.
I mean, was he the last of his kind? Was it even a species? Possibly it was some kind of being that mutated from some other species or something like that.
Now that I think about it better, I realize that they have just released a super predator that could possibly destroy not only an entire ecosystem but could cause chaos in villages and small cities. That thing eats whatever it sees as food (and let's remember that it's trying to eat the protagonist so you already have a reference point to know how bad the situation is)
And speaking of eating everything that moves, why didn't he eat Johana and Hilda? In other words, the spider toad explained that they tasted horrible and that's why he let them live. Because they tasted horrible? I doubt it was his first time hunting humans or eating said beings. Possibly he didn't like the taste of the fairies, or it could have been because of the chemicals like shampoo, perfume, clothes, I don't know. At the moment the most feasible thing is to think that her fairy genetics saved Hilda's little family.
That toad spider must have been imprisoned for at least more than a decade, I doubt it could subsist on pure fish or algae being that big. It must have some kind of biological mechanism that allows it to live so long on so little food.
I have many questions and doubts that I would like to share, but this post is already getting longer and I want to continue writing the fanfics that I have in mind. It's going to take time, that's for sure, but it will be worth it (I hope so, it will be my first time transcribing something from Spanish to English and I'm nervous).
With this I say goodbye, bye.
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I read the Hilda and the Fairy Village book about 2 months ago and I just remembered I swear it said Johanna's hair turned blue in it.
To any of the people who have read it .
I didn't make that up right ????
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Hilda and The Fairy Village - Temporary Cover
Estimated Release Date: 7th November 2023
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a couple other things i want to mention about the new poster!!!
1. the moon.. obviously.. what is happening. and why is twig framed central alongside it like that? hes glowing too!! another deerfox episode!!
2. these things... hilda looks like she's holding some kind of bundle of feathers/twigs/leaves. we know it's her nan on the left of the poster, who is a fairy?/part fairy? these are a tad blair witch, theres some sprinkled superstition about hanging up sticks for luck etc, but i couldnt really find anything to do with fae stuff (i literally just googled so if you know about folklore, which i dont, then lmk). my best guess is they're hung around the village for protection/to keep regular humans away but knowing hilda the show will probably do something more interesting than that.
3. what's that
? what is this
3. these guys. foreboding. assuming they're trouble. not much to say about them but they remind me of the wraiths from what we do in the shadows.
that's all... i cant wait for s3 guys i'm bleeding with excitement
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More Touhou Unova AU, and I'm calling the BW arc "Revelation of Monochromatic Theology." Here's N, and he's both the Final AND Extra boss.
More info under the cut!
Quick overview of N's power before we get into the meat of the plot:
He can control both physical and metaphorical connections.
His cube is an example of physical. It's a toy, and he can separate and connect the blocks however he pleases without even touching it.
Metaphorical is more interesting. For instance, he can connect or separate the relationships between people. He can make two people on opposite sides of the world "connect" or cross paths, or make two close friends become indifferent to one another.
He was planning to completely sever the connections between species, and then reconnect them in a way that favored Pokemon.
Now onto plot stuff:
The core plot is still similar to BW, but the way it plays out is very different. Ghetsis found N when he was a child, and raised him to be a King. He's manipulating N so he can take over Unova. Blah, blah, we've all played the game.
As mentioned before, Pokemon are treated more like animals than in Pokemon canon. They're still kept as pets and used as livestock by humans, and occasionally youkai.
Pokemon can often get run out off their territory by youkai turf wars.
Generally they aren't treated with as much respect as their intelligence deserves. Fairies and Pokemon get along very well, however.
N wants to give Pokemon more power and independence in Unova, but he doesn't have enough power to do this on his own. He snatched the Black and White orbs from their shrine's while Hilda and Hilbert were distracted (it was very easy.)
N wouldn't force Reshiram and Zekrom to help him if they didn't want to, but they took a liking to him quickly. They admire his goals, but don't agree with his methods. (They are Pokemon too, after all.)
Zekrom and Reshiram didn't manage to get awakened, but they were aware throughout the entire ordeal. Hilda and Hilbert are terrified of losing their jobs.
Hilda and Hilbert haven't had many direct interactions with N, but they've both seen him around the villages.
N's castle appeared from the ground, and Hilda and Hilbert went to go investigate (correctly assuming that that's where the orbs were.)
After he gets defeated (he's fine, and him and Hilda and Hilbert are all friends, don't worry) he can feel something calling for him from the Giant Chasm.
Turns out the whole thing attracted the attention of Kyurem.
Gods need faith to survive, and Kyurem has been mostly forgotten. Its shrine is falling apart, and the only faith it gets is from Lacunosa town. The townsfolks' offerings and prayers come from fear more than actual faith, but it keeps Kyurem alive.
Hilda and Hilbert learn about Kyurem from Reshiram and Zekrom, and go to see what's happening.
Reshiram and Zekrom are a bit disappointed that Kyurem got to N first. Hilda and Hilbert are still afraid for their jobs.
N works on forging better relationships between Pokemon, humans, and youkai while helping rebuild the Gray Shrine.
Hilda and Hilbert start taking their shrine duties more seriously after the whole experience.
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Character Inspirations♡
Long post ahead but here’s some character inspiration boards for my ocs!
Note that fandorm ocs aren’t on here! Hope you guys like it!
Ellis Clawthorne’s inspirations
Aurora (Sleeping Beauty)
Belle (Beauty and the Beast)
Annette Dominic (Fire Emblem Three Houses)
Anastasia (Anastasia)
Suzu Naito/Belle (Belle)
Nilou (Genshin Impact)
Yashiro Nene (Toilet Bound Hanako Kun)
Tohru Honda (Fruits Basket)
Nobara Kugisaki (Jujutsu Kaisen)
Victoria Le Fay’s inspirations
Constance Von Nuvelle (Fire Emblem Three Houses)
Eula (Genshin Impact)
Lisa (Genshin Impact)
Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather (Sleeping Beauty)
Sweetheart (Omori)
Lady Alcinia Dimitrescu (Resident Evil: Village)
Jessie (Pokémon)
Ivy Villosa’s inspirations
Rosetta (Disney Fairies)
Poison Ivy (DC)
Glinda (Wicked)
Elle Woods (Legally Blonde)
Charlotte La Bouff (Princess and the Frog)
Hilda Goneril (Fire Emblem Three Houses)
Rarity (My Little Pony)
Artemis Woodman’s inspirations
Beidou (Genshin Impact)
Nana Osaki (Nana)
Revy (Black Lagoon)
Westley (The Princess Bride)
Maki Zenin (Jujutsu Kaisen)
Rick O’Connell (The Mummy)
Aimée Amore’s inspirations
Regina George (Mean Girls)
Sharpay Evans (High School Musical)
Aphrodite (Olympians series)
Marin Kitagawa (My Dress-Up Darling)
Katherine Howard (SIX the musical)
Karen Smith (Mean Girls)
Aphrodite (Hades)
Gwendolyn Schnee’s inspirations
Cinderella (Cinderella)
Marianne von Edmund (Fire Emblem Three Houses)
Mey-Rin (Black Butler)
Periwinkle (Disney Fairies)
Yor Forger (SpyXFamily)
Kamisato Ayaka (Genshin Impact)
Noelle (Genshin Impact)
Shouko Komi (Komi Can’t Communicate)
Fabian Nacht’s inspirations
Flynn Rider (Tangled)
Dimitri (Anastasia)
Julian Devorak (Anastasia)
Dean McCoppin (The Iron Giant)
Ian Malcolm (Jurassic Park)
Westley (The Princess Bride)
Mischa Bachinski (Ride the Cyclone)
Astrid Aneira’s inspirations
Anna (Frozen)
Giselle (Enchanted)
Amber (Genshin Impact)
Portia Devorak (The Arcana)
Sophie Sheridan (Mamma Mia!)
Rapunzel (Tangled)
Stella Vega’s inspirations
The Blue Fairy (Pinocchio)
Evangeline (The Princess and the Frog)
The Fairy Godmother (Cinderella)
Farrah Goodfairy (Ever After High)
Gigi Grant (Monster High)
Glinda the Good Witch (The Wizard of Oz)
Odette Cygnet’s inspirations
Duchess Swan (Ever After High)
Odette (Barbie in Swan Lake)
Princess Kraehe (Princess Tutu)
Nina Sayer (Black Swan)
Odette (The Swan Princess)
Shenhe (Genshin Impact)
#ellis clawthorne#victoria le fay#ivy villosa#artemis woodman#aimée amore#gwendolyn schnee#fabian nacht#Fabian is in fact the name of the Flynn rider oc I teased!#OH BOY THAT WAS LONG#astrid aneira#stella vega#odette cygnet
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#RadyoBanderaEXCLUSIVE: The Final 3rd Season of Hilda is in the works by Fall 2023 on Netflix
(Written by Rhayniel Saldasal Calimpong / Freelanced News Writer, Reporter and Presenter of OneNETnews)
TROLBERG, SCANDINAVIA -- A British-Canadian cartoon show Hilda nears its conclusion with the upcoming 3rd and Final Season. Fans of the show were taken by surprise with this seriously unexpected news.
(CONTRIBUTED ADVERTISEMENT SCREENGRAB COURTESY: Penguin Random House & Reconstructed by: Rhayniel Saldasal Calimpong)
youtube
(BANNER PHOTO and VIDEO COURTESY: ReyGGTV via YT Channel & Shorts VIDEO)
In a recent advertisement from Penguin Random House (PRH), who was obtained by an undisclosed digital media insider; including one internet sleuth YouTuber, and also the online media insider individual in Los Angeles, California named ReyGGTV (whose real name as Randy Garita), it appears that the American streaming service called Netflix may have been release the show by Fall 2023 from a screengrab image, which was not independently verified to Radyo Bandera.
(COVER PHOTO COURTESY: HildaTheSeries via FB Photo / Stills from a Final Season 3 opening of Hilda on Netflix)
Additionally, the last opening intro for Season 3 was sought-after in the city of Trolberg and reportedly seen on Facebook's cover photo (which is owned by Meta Platforms Inc.).
In addition to the Final Season, 3 new graphic novels have also been obtained by Randy himself entitled "Laughing Merman", "Faratok Tree" & "Fairy Village", which expected to be released in November 2023. These novels are part of 'Hilda: The Series' provided by a graphic novel publisher Flying Eye Books (FEB).
(FILE GRAPHIC NOVEL PHOTO COURTESY: Google Images)
Before the independent cartoon show on Netflix, there was a novel called 'Aubépine' & 'Aster', which served as a source of inspiration for Hilda. Show Creator named Luke Pearson, along with the animated production companies Silvergate Media and Mercury Filmworks, have granted to secure the streaming rights through Netflix in the United States of America (U.S.A.). The 3rd season of Hilda consists of 13 episodes, each with a runtime of 22 minutes. The actual release date might later change, but it is expected to coincide with the Christmas season or early Q1 2024.
Some reliable sources and insider individuals told exclusively to Radyo Bandera that the British-Canadian animated series on Netflix is fully legitimate, unless there is an accidental statement by default. Fans of the show are so alarming, because of a release date have already been leaked out Friday night (September 1st, 2023).
(FILE MOVIE POSTER COURTESY: Google Images)
Regardless onto this, streaming fans are excited to explore Hilda's adventurous world one last time in Trolberg City, Scandinavia as the 3rd season approaches, leading after a new movie released of The Mountain King late-last December 2021 as a series follow-up -- despite for Season 3 release date is worth the wait before the Holiday season starts.
The new and final 3rd Season of Hilda streams this Fall 2023 at 12 MIDNIGHT (Pacific local time), only on Netflix.
PHOTO COURTESY for REPRESENTATION: Silvergate Media and Mercury Filmworks
SOURCE:
*https://old.reddit.com/r/HildaTheSeries/comments/ucrkpz/all_abord_the_season_3_hype_train/ [Referenced Subreddit Post #1 via Reddit]
*https://old.reddit.com/r/HildaTheSeries/comments/ueagcj/yes_season_3_is_happening/ [Referenced Subreddit Post #2f via Reddit]
*https://www.animationmagazine.net/2021/12/creative-team-behind-hilda-and-the-mountain-king-discuss-her-next-big-adventure/ [Referenced News Article via Animation Magazine]
*https://www.whats-on-netflix.com/news/hilda-season-3-to-release-on-netflix-in-2023/ [Referenced News Article via What's on Netflix News Bureau]
*https://twitter.com/TheCartoonBase/status/1697753562409803986 [Referenced Capitoned X Network Photo via Cartoon Base]
*https://www.facebook.com/100063782460430/posts/754957926640283 [Referenced FB Cover Photo via HildaTheSeries]
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnyN0zHUAo [Referenced YT Video #1 via ReyGGTV]
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7ni24ATuhY [Referenced YT Video #2 via ReyGGTV]
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umdqL_kA_mY [Referenced YT Video #3f via ReyGGTV]
*https://youtube.fandom.com/wiki/ReyGGTV
*https://reyggtv.bandcamp.com/ [Referenced Biography Location via Bandcamp]
*https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/729092/hilda-and-the-laughing-merman-by-luke-pearson/ [Referenced Graphic Novel Listings #1 via Penguin Random House]
*https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/729093/hilda-and-the-faratok-tree-by-luke-pearson/ [Referenced Graphic Novel Listings #2 via Penguin Random House]
*https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/729094/hilda-and-the-fairy-village-by-luke-pearson/ [Referenced Graphic Novel Listings #3f via Penguin Random House]
and
*https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hilda_and_the_Mountain_King
-- OneNETnews Team
#entertainment news#trolberg#scandinavia#hilda the series#hilda#netflix#season 3#the final season#development#ReyGGTV#awareness#cartoon#Aubepine#aster#graphic novel#books#comics#radyo bandera#sweet fm#RBSFM#exclusive#first and exclusive#OneNETnews#Youtube
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In the summary of the upcoming Hilda Tie In novel, The Fairy Village, Hilda has Ominous dreams. I wonder if this means the Marra will return.
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#hilda#hilda netflix#hilda the series#hildatheseries#hilda novels#hilda n9#hilda and the fairy village#hilda (hilda)#frida hilda#david hilda
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Hilda and the Fairy Village by Stephen Davies, illustrated by Sapo Lendario
Hilda and the Fairy Village by Stephen Davies, illustrated by Sapo Lendario. Flying Eye Books, 2023. 9781838744
Rating: 1-5 (5 is an excellent or a Starred review) 3.5
Format: Paperback
Genre: Fantasy
What did you like about the book? Though Hilda’s Dad is still missing, she, her two good friends, Frida and David, Hilda’s mother, plus Tontu, a house spirit and Twig, Hilda’s deerfox are traveling…
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The Legend of Hilda: Band of Memories
A Series of Reunions
Vex and the princess - who would insist on being called “Ray” - traveled across the kingdom many times in their quest to find all of their old friends. When they were heading back toward the town - which Ray claimed was necessary because one of their friends lived there - she told him about how they had all met. It had been years ago, during a festival where youths who had completed their first year of apprenticeship would present their work to the royal family. Each of them had been training in different crafts, but they had forged strong friendships nonetheless, so she couldn’t believe he couldn’t remember them now. Most of them were equally shocked - both at his sudden reappearance and lack of memories - but they were willing to help him if he helped them first.
The areas around their homes had been overtaken by the same curtain of darkness that had shrouded the Great Fairy’s fountain, and none of them were able to do their jobs while the land withered under it. Since he and Ray seemed perfectly comfortable traveling through those afflicted areas, then they’d have to help them finish their current project before they’d have time to talk.
Hamae
An apprentice carpenter
Lives in Lorule Town; works in the Capiri Forest to the southeast
She needs a specific type of wood to finish building a bridge to Lake Lorelle, which only grows in a specific grove in the Capiri Forest. Access to it has been cut off, so she sends Vex and Ray to get it for her while she continues other work on the bridge.
They must venture through the darkest parts of the Shrouded Capiri Forest
Her gratitude creates the Green Force Bead
Madeline
An apprentice chef
Lives and works in Keros Village, deep in the Capiri Forest
She needs ingredients from the Pastel Fields, Lake Lorelle, and Merlon Peak to create a perfect dish as her final test for her boss. She can’t leave the Keros Inn to go collect more of it, so she needs them to go for her.
They must venture through the Shrouded Manor in the Pastel Fields and trade with the locals at Lake Lorelle and Merlon Peak in order to find everything.
Her gratitude creates the Red Force Bead
Lassie
An apprentice witch
Lives in the Pastel Fields, west of Lorule Town
She is missing her frogs and demands Vex and Ray help her find them and bring them home. There are seven scattered around the Pastel Fields
The final one is in the Shrouded Manor
Her gratitude creates the Purple Force Bead
Taelar
An apprentice tailor
Lives near the Polydeu Rapids, northeast of Lorule Town
He needs the string of a silkworm to finish making an embroidered garment.
They have to seek them out in the Shrouded Grotto, which is almost inaccessible because the river has been blocked off.
His gratitude creates the Orange Force Bead
Chip
An apprentice sculptor
Lives on Merlon Peak of Death Mountain, northwest of Lorule Town
He needs a specific color of glass to complete a project that had been on hold for two years and demands that Vex help him finish it.
He has to travel south to Dragon’s Den Gold and Glassware in order to acquire that specific color.
His gratitude creates the Blue Force Bead
Tobi
An apprentice calligrapher and self-proclaimed master poet
Lives on the shores of Lake Lorelle, east of Lorule Town, but likes to wander
He wandered into the Shrouded Crystal Caverns for artistic inspiration and got himself lost. Vex needs to find him and bring him back to Lake Lorelle.
He has to find him in the Shrouded Crystal Caverns and get Tobi to cooperate with him as they try to get out.
Creates the Yellow Force Bead
As the beads of Vex’s bracelet were filled with Force, he slowly regained the ability to take on his original form for longer periods. By the time six beads had color, he was only forced to be a wolf for a few hours in a day. To his surprise, each bead also granted him access to magical abilities that had originally been granted to him by the Dark Mirror.
But the question still remained: why had he been cursed like that? Ray had told him before that there was a crystal that everyone thought he had broken, but he didn’t understand how that was grounds for a curse. Some of his friends had even commented on it; either how it was smart to go underground for two years or how he was an asshole for leaving Ray to deal with the fallout by herself.
He still didn’t understand what was so important about a damn crystal.
#legend of zelda#ravio#four swords#shadow link#linkeduniverse#ravioverse#loz#tales of the heroes#vex (ravio)#band of memories
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NIGHTMARE AT GARREG MACH: PART 1
Prompt: After Claude tells a scary story during a heavy storm to the students, Edelgard lectures him on his behavior, leading Claude to challenge her bravery after things take a turn for the worse, once they discover someone to be missing.
/—————————————————————/
The rain beat down on the cathedral ceilings and walls. All the students were gathered together for safety. Catherine, Cyril, Shamir, and Alois were passing blankets out to as many of the students as they could.
“Attention, students of Garreg Mach Monastery!” Seteth yelled over the chattering students and pounding rain. Everyone went silent and turned to look at him.
“As you all are aware, there is a heavy storm going on right now.”
“Oh really?” a sarcastic voice spouted from the crowd.
Seteth nodded and turned to the voice. “Thank you Claude.” He turned back to the crowd as a whole. “Now, please do not be alarmed. This is simply a blessing from the goddess for our crops.”
Just as he said this, a large flash of lighting and boom of thunder rattled the cathedral. Several students screamed in response.
“Well don’t I just feel blessed?” the same sarcastic voice heckled.
“Thank you Claude.” Seteth repeated, annunciating harder this time to show his frustration. “Anyway, because of the storm, we’re cancelling classes for today and keeping all students in here for tonight. As you may have noticed, blankets are being passed out, but we do not have enough for everyone, so please share with your peers. Also, make sure you always stay in groups in order to assure no one goes missing. Furthermore, if any of you must leave for any reason, please notify one of the faculty first and take someone with you. Bandits thrive off of loud storms like these, and I don’t want any of you in danger.”
“Yeah, bandits are one thing.” Claude heckled again. “But what we REALLY should be scared about... is the ghooooAAAAooosts!”
Lysithea, who sat next to him, planted her fist onto his arm.
“D-don’t say stuff like that!” she demanded. Other students began to mutter in panic after Claudes warning.
“Claude!” Seteth yelled. “Please do not fill the students heads with your fairy tales!”
“Hey, I’m just trying to warn them of all the dangers just like you are!”
“Claude, I-“
“Thats enough.”
A gentle and benevolent voice spoke from behind them.
“Ah... Lady Rhea... my apologies.” Seteth responded with a bow.
“Everyone, please remain calm.” Rheas soothing voice seemed to calm most of the students down. “The storm will not last long. I am going to pray to the goddess for our safety. In the meantime, everyone please remain calm and stay together.”
With that, the archbishop turned around and began her prayer. Seteth and the other officers began to patrol the cathedral to ensure all students were accounted for. On his patrol, Seteth felt a tug at his sleeve. He turned to see who it was.
“Ah, Flayn.” Seteth said, putting on a warm smile for her, despite the headache he was currently enduring. “How can I help you?”
“Um... Brother.” his sister spoke softly, bringing her voice to a whisper. “I... I must use the bathroom.”
“Now?” Seteth responded, followed by a sigh. “The nearest restroom is in the professors wing, and that’s all the way across the bridge.”
“That is no problem. You can take me, can you not?”
“Flayn, I’m very busy. You’re just going to have to hold it until the storm passes.”
“U-until the storm passes?” Flayn responded, perplexed by her brothers answer. “I will surely not make it until then! If you are busy, then I will look for another buddy to go with, like...”
Flayn quickly scanned the people around her, hoping a volunteer would step up. Someone quickly caught her eye.
“Alois!” Flayn exclaimed, grabbing onto the knight as he attempted to pass by.
“Gah!” Alois yelped in shock.
“Alois will escort me to the restroom, won’t you Alois?”
Flayn finished her sentence then looked up at the knight with a bright smile and pleading eyes.
“Um... well...” Alois stuttered, as Flayns eyes grew wider. “I... Yes! I will escort young Flayn to the... restroom? Yes!”
Seteth let out a heavy sigh. He turned to Alois who looked back with a confident yet confused grin.
“You have five minutes. Straight there, straight back. Understood?”
“Yes sir!” Alois responded, patting his fist to his chest.
“Oh thank you so much Brother!” Flayn responded excitedly. “And thank you as well Alois!”
“Not a problem!” Alois responded. “Come along little one!”
The pair walked towards the entrance of the cathedral. Alois put on a helmet to protect himself from the rain, while Flayn seemed completely unfazed by the water pelting her face, hair, and clothes. Seteth watched every step they took until they were out of sight.
“Don’t let me down Alois.”
/————————————————————————/
The students all huddled together for warmth. Gathered around Claude sat Lysithea, Linhardt, Ashe, and Annette. Lysithea sat looking at her fidgeting hands. She turned to Claude.
“You know, it’s really not nice to make jokes about ghosts Claude.” she lectured.
“Oh I’m afraid I’m not joking around there kiddo.” Claude responded slyly. “There’s definitely been ghosts around here before.”
“Th-thats not true!” she argued. “R-right Linhardt?”
“Hm?” Lindhardt responded lazily, one eye half open. “Well, I suppose there’s no studies against it, but I certainly haven’t heard any for it. Believe me, if I did, I wouldn’t be attending this school.”
“Oh, I have.” Claude replied. “In fact... theres one particular ghost I’ve heard of... that haunts this very monastery.”
“Th-that isn’t true, is it?” Ashe chimed in nervously.
“Oh yeah... gather around everyone, and I’ll tell you the story of...” Claude trailed off, then quickly grabbed a candle and held it under his face for dramatic effect. “The Vengeful Woodcutter!”
Everyone around him widened their eyes at the sound of that name. An evil grin sprawled over Claudes face.
“Many years ago...” he began, his eyes darting between each member of his captive audience. “There was a member of the church who was a renowned woodcutter. He alone was responsible for collecting a majority of the logs for the church. He was beloved by the students, villagers, and faculty alike. But one day... there was... an accident.”
Annette huddled up by Ashe, who was slightly shaking. Lysithea’s eyes were locked onto Claude. Lindhardt, on the other hand, kept his eyes concealed behind his eye lids. Claude continued his story.
“The church was working him hard, day and night, and he was beginning to tire out. He begged them for a day off, but alas, the church needed more wood. So he was sent back out into the woods. He began hacking away, log after log... chop... chop.... and then... CHOP!”
He shouted the last ‘chop’, causing everyone around him to jump up in shock. Annette let out a small squeal, causing Lindhardts eyes to shoot open.
“A sudden burst of pain came seemingly out of nowhere from that last chop. He looked down to see his work, and it was then that he realized... instead of cutting a piece of wood... he instead discovered that he had actually... CUT OFF HIS OWN HAND!”
“NO!” Ashe yelped in fear.
“YES!” Claude shot back. “He let out a scream in pain. He knew he had to get back to the church quick, but his injury slowed him down. And what he forgot to realize... was that there was a Demonic Beast lurking in those very woods... and it smelt blood, not far from it.”
Lindhardt cringed and swallowed at the mention of blood. Lysithea was gripping her legs, holding them close to her chest as she sat curled up in a ball, still locking her gaze on Claude.
“Out of the woods, the beast lunged out and attacked the woodcutter, tearing him apart... limb... from limb...”
“Oh no... thats awful!” Annette sympathized.
“It was. They say he was mauled for what could have been hours. He died in those woods, never to be seen again... however... rumors began to spread that his ghost still remains, and travelled here to Garreg Mach to enact his revenge on those who treated him poorly. He could be lurking these very halls as we speak... in fact...”
Claude paused, his eyes squinted, as the group of students watched him with bated breath, waiting for him to finish his sentence. A slight smile creeped over his face.
“He could even be.... RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!”
Right as he shouted, he pointed behind the students. Each and every one of their heads spun around at lightning speed, and in front of them was a dark figure, wielding an axe, who let out a brutish yell. Lysithea, Annette, Ashe, and Linhardt all screamed at the top of their lungs, causing several students around them to jump in shock.
Before their screams died down, the figure ripped a blanket off of itself, revealing a laughing pink haired student.
“H-Hilda!” Lysithea yelled.
“Oh wow, that was TOO good Claude!” Hilda said between laughs. Claude stood up and high fived her.
“Excellently pulled off Hilda. I knew I could count on you for the closing act.” Claude said, a mischievous victory grin stretching over his face.
“Very funny you two.”
A stern voice pierced Claudes ear. He turned to look at the source, and his smile faded slightly.
“Oh, hello Edelgard.”
The imperial princess walked up to the group, her arms folded, and a cold stare directed right at the heir to the Alliance. Behind her, as always, Hubert towered over, not exactly helping the scary ambiance that Claude had already set with his sinister gaze.
“Don’t you have anything better to do than further frighten these already scared, helpless students?” she lectured.
Claude rolled his eyes in response. “C’mon Princess, lighten up! There’s nothing wrong with a little harmless fun.”
“Harmless you say? I think Ashe may have wet himself after that story.”
“N-no I didn’t!” Ashe quickly denied. Annette patted him on his shoulder. Claude sighed, as Edelgard continued her lecture.
“There’s nothing funny about what you did. It was immature and childish, certainly not the qualities of a future leader.”
“Ohhh, I see what’s going on here.” Claude responded, his eyes lit up and his smile returned. “You’re just scared aren’t you?”
“Scared? Really? Surely you’re joking.”
“No, I bet that’s what it is. You’re just scared and don’t wanna hear my scary story during this scary storm.”
“Enough! I won’t hear one more word of your ridiculous-“
Before she could finish her sentence, a large flash of lighting, followed immediately with booming thunder roared across the cathedral. Students from all across the floor screamed in fear, as Catherine shouted to try and keep them all from panicking further.
Claude was quick to notice Edelgard twitch when the strike hit. His smile widened, but she retaliated with an even colder stare.
Just then, the cathedral doors were shoved open, then quickly shut right after. Panting and holding the door shut, Alois looked over at the students who’s attention he caught. Most notably, and unfortunately for him, Seteth quickly walked over to the sweating night.
“Alois? What in the goddesses name happened?” he asked sternly.
“O-oh, Seteth! Yes!” Alois began, still trying to catch his breath. “Right! Well, I was escorting Flayn to the restroom, as asked, when suddenly, BOOM! A huge lightning bolt! Normally, this wouldn’t frighten me too much, but right when the flash hit, I saw a figure! I couldn’t tell who it was, so I ran back to tell you about it!”
“And... where is Flayn?”
Alois stared blankly back for a few seconds. Then, he turned his head left, then to the right, then back at Seteth, as he lost all color in his face.
“Uh... well... she was... um...”
Before he could get a thought out, Seteth pointed his finger right in the knights face.
“YOU... are to go BACK OUT THERE. And FIND her. NOW!”
Alois quickly saluted, opened the door back up, and bolted back into the storm. Clearly, the scorn of the over protective brother is scarier than any potential ghost or storm Alois had encountered.
Claude, seeing this as a great opportunity to test his theory, decided to chime in.
“Y’know Seteth, it might be best if we send more people to find her. Say, why don’t me and the princess go looking for her?”
“Wh-what?” Edelgard responded, completely perplexed by the forced volunteering of her services.
“Oh.. well unless of course you’re too scared to go... I get it...”
“I-“
“Enough!” Seteth interrupted. “Please, just... any of you, please go find her! I... I need to go sit down.”
Seteth stumbled off, his head in his hand.
“Claude, you are as annoying as they come.” Edelgard said.
“Oh come now princess, young Flayn needs us!” Claude replied, putting on a faux grandiose voice. “Let us depart at once!”
Edelgard sighed. Knowing she had been backed into a corner, she had no choice but to follow the prankster.
“Lady Edelgard, I shall accompany you.” Hubert chimed in.
“Yes... That would make this much more bearable...”
“Hurry up!” Claude beckoned, while holding the large steel doors open. He looked over at the group he was sitting with earlier. “Hey, any of you coming?”
Every one of them shakes their head in unison. He sighs, as only Edelgard and Hubert walk through the door way. He then closes the door behind him, as the three make their way across the large bridge.
END OF PART 1
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Hilda and The Fairy Village - The 9th Tie-in Book
Estimated Release Date: 7th November 2023
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My Brain on Shadowbringers: Remind
Talk to Tataru. Leave Rising Stones. Run across to boat. Talk to dude. Come sail away. Come sail away come sail away with me. Talk to Tataru. Indiana Jones the places. Touch the things. TATARU I THINK THERE WAS SOMETHING IN THOSE MUFFINS! Must be summer cause the sun is up at 6 in the fucking morning. Oh hey a dude. He’s been drinking. He calls you drunk. Follow the road. Rabbit Wife spotted. Tell her you’re from the Source. She accuses you of lying. Oh hey an eldritch horror. It ate the dude. Crystal Exarch appears. A+ husband material that one. What can you say? You got a thing for enigmatic men made of rock candy dressed in robes three feet shorter than you. Talk to Crystal Lover. Go into the Crystarium. GRAB AAAALLLLL THE AETHERYTE! Get lost a couple of times because some of the aetheryte are on the ledge over looking an area with an aetheryte underneath. Talk to Crystal Lover. Go into Tavern. Talk to Crystal Lover. Leave. Run across and talk to Book Nerd. Leave. Talk to Blacksmith Lady. Run across and talk to Barkeep. Talk to Crystal Lover. FEO UL ENTERS SMASH! Best character since Hilda. Go to Crystal Tower. Talk to Guard. Talk to Crystal Lover. Talk to Crystal Lover. Leave. Run across the Bar area. Talk to Crystal Lover. Talk to Innkeep. Oh shit Crystal Lover hooked you up with your own room. The marriage is in December. Spend the Night. Oh shit Ardbert is here to act as Patrick Swayze. Practice pottery with him. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Leave. Go to Crystal Tower. Talk to Guard. Talk to Crystal Lover. He must never know of Ghost Husband. Choose between Book Son and Sword Daughter. Run to Amaro meadows. Talk to Lizard Man. Go to Rookery. Talk to other Lizard man. Fly to Amh Amaerg. Get your hand held by Roe.
Land in desert. Music is so majestic. Talk to Roe. Ride across. Admire Giant Cactuar. Talk to Roe near bridge. Run through sand. Go to Kobold city. Get the aethryte and Amaro Route. Talk to people Talk to Kobolds. Hand over a coin. Select between worms, spicy meat, or other such bad diet options. EAT THE ENTIRE FUCKING THING WELCOME TO FEARFACTOR! Talk to Roe. Pick up the exact number of things he requested. Look up guide for this exact number and bullshit your way through it. Talk to Roe. Roe still talking to Kobolds. Talk to Tesleen. Walk through the desert. PUNCH SOME COYOTES! Talk to Tesleen. Follow Tesleen. PUNCH MORE COYOTES! Make it to base. Talk to Tesleen. Go out and hunt you down a Sword Daughter. Walk around. Walk around. Walk around. SWORD DAUGHTER APPEARS! She’s grown like two inches. Have an awkward sibling hug with her. Help hunt down Sineaters with her. PUNCH A BUG! PUNCH ANOTHER BUG! PUNCH A HORSEBAT! Talk to Sword Daughter. Talk to Tesleen. Pat Pale Dude. Pat Pale Roe. Pat Pale Child. Talk to Tesleen. Speak to dude. Teleport to Kobold City. Talk to Dude. Talk to other dude. Return to place. Talk to Sword Daughter. Talk to Tesleen. Pale Child has escaped. SHIT GOES DOWN! OH FUCK THATS WHOA SHIT! OH GOD! YOU HAVE SEEN SOME SHIT BUT THAT WAS...FUCKED UP! Talk to Sword Daughter. Return to Inn. Talk to people. Leave with Sword Daughter by to Crystarium. Sword Daughter is depressed. Fly to Kholusia.
Have Roe hold you hand. Land on sandy beach. Majestic Acoustic Steel String Music INTENSIFIES. Talk to Roe. Run across the sand. Talk to dude. Head to town. Attune to aetheryte. Talk to Bar tender. Stand around. Get hit on. Go to garden. PUNCH THINGS! PUNCH MORE THINGS! PUNCH BUGS! Knock on door. Knock on door again. KICK DOWN THE DOOR! No one home. You don’t have to pay for the door. Go back to bar. Get hit on. Wait around. BOOK SON APPEARS! He’s grown like three inches and he’s dressed for a Christmas Album. Talk to Book Son. Walk along. Hear scream. Find lady. PUNCH HORSEBAT! Save lady. Go to Hooverville. Talk to people. Watch jesters hand out sweet hawaiian buns. Talk to Book Son. Run to place. Someone scalped your stuff. Run along. CSI: First Shard. Track down blue haired catte. He’s now your son. Leave stuff with him. Wait around. Pose as artist and his assistant. Go with Jesters. Talk to Jesters. Go to customs. Talk to Lady. Wash the Gaius, Dragon, and bajillion other things you killed between ARR and now off your body. Walk out door. Threaten to tell Estinien about the time Alphinaud got wasted and bully him into showering. Spray perfume. Go back to customs. Get in. Talk to Momma Catte and Anxious Husband. Walk around the place. Talk to lady. Talk to dude hanging off ledge. Go to strip club. Win a match making game. DANCE BITCH! Talk to lady. Leave. Talk to Book Son. Take an elevator. BEHOLD SUPER KAMI GURU! Leave before shit gets weird. Fly back to Crystarium with Book Son.
Talk to Book Son. Talk to Sword Daughter. Go to Crystal Tower. Talk to Guard. Talk to Crystal Lover. Talk to Crystal Lover. Rabbit Wife enters the fray! Follow her out to Lakeland. Teleport to Fort Jobb ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Run up the hill. Talk to Crystal Lover. Unlock Holminster Switch. PUNCH AN ANGEL! OH FUCK ITS TESLEEN! PUNCH HER! OH GOD STAY STRONG SWORD DAUGHTER! PUNCH A GIANT SQUID THING! Become what you must, return night to the First. Go back to the Crystarium. Talk to Crystal Lover. Return to Inn. Maintain connection to Ghost Husband. Make more pottery ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Return to Crystal Lover. Use the Cloak of Invisibility. Ran’jit enters smash! Teleport to Library. Talk to Book Nerd. Talk to Rabbit Wife. Join the military. Run around. Talk to people. Get an Amaro. Abuse the Amaro by exploring all of Lakeland before you get the Aether Currents. Land at place. Talk to Guy. Talk to other guy. Check on foundation of tower. Walk around. Back flip. Do the twist. Fly into battle. PUNCH GUARDS! PUNCH MORE GUARDS! PUNCH EVEN MORE GUARDS! Save Knife wielding child. She’s your daughter now. Run away. OH SHIT IS RAN’JIT! Punch him. He fucking cheats. God its Zenos all over again. Why do we have to do Zenos all over again? Edgecred appears! He shaved and got a bad ass cloak. Cool entrance...he gets his ass kicked. Crystal Lover saves the day. RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! We can’t stop here this is fae country!
Talk to Thancred. Talk into town. Attune to Aetheryte. Talk to Thancred. Check some bushes. The bushes talk to you. Don’t say shit. Return to Thancred. Thancred spies with his little eye PIXIES! Feo Ul appears! BEGONE [THOT]! Talk to Feo Ul. Talk to Thancred. Leave the Twins behind to be tormented by Pixies. Kick down a door. CARELESS WHISPER INTENSIFIES AS URIANGER SHOWS OFF HIS ARMS! You dirty elezen! I’d take you now if Thancred and Knife Daughter weren’t right there. Listen to Sexy Nerd talk. Talk to Thancred. Leave. Pick up the Twins. Walk to the edge of a lake. Unlock Donh Meg. DANCE OF THE SUGAR PLUM FAIRIES INTENSIFY! PUNCH FROG WITH HIS BULLSHIT GEYSERS! PUNCH VEGGIEDRAGON WITH HIS BULLSHIT BUDS! ALPHINAUD FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HEAL YOURSELF! PUNCH TALL FROG! FUCK! TIGHT ROPE! PUNCH THE FROG SOME MORE! Almost get drowned. Make out with Ghost Husband under water. Swim to Scions. Ride back. Get cockblocked by Pixies. Use Cloak of Invisibility. Dodge Pixies. Meet with WIDE LAD! Talk to WIDE LAD! Talk to other rabbit earred puppies. Go out with Knife Daughter. PUNCH SOME RABBIT EARRED PUPPIES! Steal ink return! Talk to Knife Daughter! Get mind fucked by floating faerie lady. Return to Rabbit Earred Puppies. Talk to Thancred, talk to Scion. Talk to Amaro. ...Ardbert? Sob for fifteen minutes. Talk to Seto. Walk around. Pet fluffy dragons. Punch some things for Amaro. Talk to Seto. Return to Feo Ul. Go to sick ass Cathedral. Unlock Dancing Plague.
BIGGER IS BETTER! WET WET WET! WHEN YOU PLAY WITH FIRE! IM SICK OF THIS CRAMPED OLD CASTLE! LETS GO TO THE FOREST! YAE CON SLEEP WHEN YER DEAD!
Watch many a party fail to burst down Titania’s three big guys and wiped 200 times. Eventually win after 3 days of game play. Years at the academy. WASTED! Feo Ul becomes Titania. Return Night to Il Mheg. Fight off Ran’jit. Talk to Thancred. Return to Crystarium. Get left behind. Fall asleep while she’s taking a drag. Meet with Ghost Husband. Cheer him up about Seto. Return to Crystarium. SKUNK MAN HAS ARRIVED! Visit Crystal Lover. Skunk Man breaks down the door! Leave and go to Fort Jobb ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Search ruins. Find iPad. Run across Lakeland and enter LA HEE
LA HEE PUT A BIG COAT ON! HEE! NOW EXARCHS IN A ROBE! TAKE THAT ROBE OFF! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) LA HEEE!
Watch Thancred and Skunk Man get two inches from Hate Fucking Each other. Find a village. Its been burned down. YOU’RE SURROUNDED! Do what any sensible person would do. KUPO? Skunk Man flees from battle. GOTH WIFE APPEARS! Ride off to Goth Wife’s village. Talk to Goth Wife. Talk to Goth Wife behind closed doors. Leave. Talk to Lion Husband. Pat him on the head. Plant some stuff. Grab some candles. Ride out and punch some mean dudes harassing a patroller. Follow Knife Daughter. Kill some Sineaters. Took around return to Goth Wife Village. Hold funeral. Ride out and punch mean dudes. Grab a hornet’s nest. Throw it through a whole. Ride past a bunch of aggro mobs. Talk to Goth Wife. Look at cave paintings. Talk to Ghost Husband. Talk to Goth Wife. Pick up the SCREE!!!! Dive under water. Pat a statue. Swim. Pat another statue. Swim. Pat one more statue get medal of honour. Return to Goth Wife. Hand over Medal. Return to Goth Wife Village. Follow blue flowers. Get interrupted by THREE RABBIT WIVES! Follow the path to RABBIT WIFE VILLAGE! HOLY SHIT! Tall Rabbit Women ready to kill you...the tension is palpable! Introduce yourself to these tall muscular women. Get Aetheryte. Go to northern ruins. Read some glyphs. Read more glyphs. Read even more glyphs. Read more gylphs. Just kidding you didn’t read shit. Look up a guide for the answer to the riddle. Talk to Goth Wife. Get compliments by first trying it. Head into ruins. Talk to Goth Wife. Find statue. Indiana Jones to the opening. Talk to Goth Wife. Avoid patrols. Oh shit Ran’jit is invading. Oh shit theres a giant fucking boulder RUN! FUCKING RUN! Drop down. Run across place. RAN’JIT BREAKS THE PARTY UP! FIGHT HIM! No he isn’t going down. Run to statue. Place falls apart. GOTH WIFE NO! Return to Rabbit Village. Hand over stone to Rabbit Sisters. Talk to Lion Husband. Tell him Goth Wife has gone to the Cure Concert upstate. SKUNK MAN RUINS THE MOMENT! Skunk Man offers to bring Goth Wife back. Stand at a spot. Wave a lantern. Skunk Man summons Goth Wife. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Skunk Man dresses Goth Wife. Return to Rabbit Village. Talk to Rabbit Sisters. Ride down a tree branch. Unlock Qitana Ravel.
GET YA GROOVE ON WITH A SICK ASS WOOD INSTRUMENT SOLO!
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PUNCH OX STATUE! ADOPT BATQUATCH! DOOOO DUUUH DOOO DUHH DOOO DUUH DUHH DOOO DUHH DOOO DUHH DOOO! SECRET OF MANA REFERENCE! PUNCH SINEATERS! PUNCH CHIMERA WARDEN! NEARLY HAVE HEARTATTACK! Leave. Listen to Skunk Man Story. Talk to Goth Wife.
Return to Crystarium. Talk to Innkeeper. Talk with Ghost Husband. Walk out. WE’RE UNDER ATTACK! Build barriers. Ride out. PUNCH SINEATER! PUNCH SINEATER! PUNCH MORE SINEATERS! PUNCH ALLL THE FUCKING SINEATERS! You win. But at what cost? Talk to Rabbit Captain. Cheer her up. Return to Crystarium. Talk an alternative route into Amh Araeng. Talk to people. Talk to Thancred. Walk across tracks. Talk to drunk dude. Talk to Trolley Enthuists. Take 20 years to hand over a wrench, hammer, and tools. PUNCH SOME BIRDS! Return. Drunk Lion is still drunk. Talk to Thancred. Talk to Sexy Nerd. Listen to Sexy Nerd and Knife Daughter have a heart-to-heart. Run across the desert. Track down some worms. PUNCH SOME STUFF! Get some ore. Talk to dude. Return to Trolley enthusiast. Repair Golem. Sexy Nerd stays behind. Ride Big Thunder Mountain with Knife Daughter and Thancred. OH SHIT ITS RAN’JIT! THANCRED GONNA DO HIMSELF A GROWING UP! WHY DO TANKS DO SO LITTLE DAMAGE! PUNCH RAN’JIT IN HIS FUCKING FACE! Dadcred almost dies. Carry Knife Daughter to the edge oblivion. Watch as she has a talk with Minfilia. Knife Daughter is now a red head with pretty eyes. She is her own person. Support Knife Daughter. Find Dadcred near death. Knife Daughter is now Ryne. Ryne leads us to Snarlacc Pit. Unlock Malikah’s Well. PUNCH ARMADILLO! PUNCH BUCKET GOLEM! PUNCH COOL FAERIE LIGHTWARDEN! ALMOST HAVE A HEART ATTACK RETURN NIGHT TO DESERT! Leave. Talk to Knife Daughter. Return to Crystarium. Go to sleep. Talk to Ghost Husband. Talk to Crystal Lover. Fly to Kholusia.
Walk around. Punch some people getting high. Punch some more people. Approach Hooverville. Punch possessed people. FIGHT TO THE GATES! PUNCH JESTERS! RUN UP STAIRS! Oh goddamnit its FUCKING Ran’jit! PUNCH HIM IN HIS ZENOS-WANNABE FUCKING FACE! Run up the stairs. Face off against J. Edgar Hoover. Watch him grow tiny wings and fly off. Take control of TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE! Finally attune to that fucking aetheryte. Talk to Book Son. Shame the 1%. Convince Anxious Catte Husband to aid. Ride across Kholusia. Talk to elevator guy. Ride out. Look up a guy and give the guy the exact amount of lumber you have. Ride back to elevator. Skunk Man talks cryptically and walks away. Take elevator up. Look around. Talk to Sword Daughter. Walk up ramp. Look around. SHOEBILL! See dude. Ride across. Oh hey its an Artist Guy you saved earlier but I didn’t mention before. Convince him the 1% isn’t here to dodge their taxes. He says bring back the guillotine. Say thats fair. Talk to Anxious Catte Husband. Crystal Lover appears. Ride out. Meet Dwaves. DO YOU EVEN LALI-HO MOTHERFUCKER!?! Attune to aetheryte. LALI-HO LALI-HO LALI-HO Use darts. SHOEBILL! Hit Dwarf. Get accepted. Do another round of darts . SHOE BILL! Hit the dwarf. LALI-HO! Go with Crystal Lover and escort Dwarf. PUNCH ALL THE SINEATERS! Go invisible and put dwarves to sleep. Get caught by head dwarf. Knock him out. Ride back to Town. Anxious Catte tries to make amends to Artist. He punches catte husband with words. They call it even. Ride out. SHOE BILL! Sleeping Crystal Lover. Ride back. Witness a GIANT GOLEM! Ride forth. Unlock Mt. Gulg. PUNCH GIANT LION! PUNCH RUBIX CUBE! PUNCH SINEATER LADY! Unlock Crown of the Immaculate. PUNCH DONALD TRUMP! OH FUCK TRUMP TURNED INTO FABIO! PUNCH HIM MORE! Absorb his essence. Oh god having a Heart Attack. Crystal Lover appears. YAY! Crystal Lover turns out to be a Catte Son! Do you hear that? Is that a Skunk Man? HES GOT A GUN! OH NO HE SHOT CATTE SON! Oh no the heart attack is getting worse. You faint and wake up in your innroom.
Talk to Ghost Husband. Fucking...the Sun is back up at 6:30 in the fucking morning. Order Black out curtains. Walk around. Talk to people. Go out and look over the world. Talk to Ghost Husband. Feo Ul appears and thinks you’re off your rocker. Go to Amaro Rookery. Try to leave without your friends. Your friends stop you from going. Group Family Hug. Knife Daughter is included. Fly out to Lakeland. Fly to giant island. Sexy Nerd pets the island but it goes back to sleep. SUMMON FEO UL IN ATTACK MODE! Island is actually Bismarck! He flies you into the middle of the ocean!
Welcome back to Relaxing Music you can study to 24/7. Talk to Scions. Walk along the bottom of the ocean. Discover fishman. Fishman flees. Track down fishman to their base. Talk to fishmen. Attune to Aetheryte. Talk to Fishmen. Ride out and punch some stuff. Talk to Goth Wife. Ride out and inspect some architecture. Talk to Goth Wife. Return to Fish Men. Ride out to giant glass house. Talk to Blacksmith. Due your job quests. Return to Blacksmith. Get Job Armor and metal thingie. Return to Fishmen. Hand over thingie. Talk to Fishmen. Talk to Scions. Ride across the ocean. Talk to Sword Daughter. Ride across ocean. Talk to Sexy Nerd. Barrier is lowered. Ride through the bottom of the ocean. DISCOVER A CITY! Go to Elevator. Take elevator. Welcome back to Lo-Fi Ascian Radio to Study to while the noises of the city and debating ghosts play in the background. Ride across the city. Talk to ghost. Get called a child. Talk to other ghosts. Sealion one into debating a guy. Talk to register dude. Sit on bench. Talk to Friend Shaped Ghost. Go to the counter. Leave. PUNCH SOME BLOBS! Return to Ghost. Ride across. Talk to Scions. Have a pep talk with each of them. Talk to Book Son. Approach doors. Enter doors. Have a dick measuring contest with Skunk Man. He opens the doors to hell. Unlock Amaurot.
Run Amaurot. Punch---WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?! OH GOT ITS DROPPING METEORS ON US! OH FUCK AN ENTIRE BUILDING IS COLLAPSING! OH FUCK! OH GOD! OH FUCK! Never speak of this moment again. Punch Balloon Chicken. Balloon Chicken runs away. PUNCH ALL THE DAEMONS OF HELL! Punch Balloon Chicken. It blew up. Take portal. Listen to Skunk Man read Dante’s Inferno. Punch cosmic horrors. Punch cosmic horrors. Punch book end with legs. Leave. Flex on Skunk Man. Skunk Man punches the Scions. Have a heart attack. Touch Ghost Husband’s Axe ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ONE BRINGS SHADOW ONE BRINGS THE LIGHT! Let us do away with false names, I AM HADES! Unlock Dying Gasp.
PUNCH HADES! PUNCH HIS GHOST FRIENDS! MUSIC SWELL! OH FUCK HADES EVOLVED INTO A GHOST FLYING TYPE! MUSIC REACHES CRESECENDO PUNCH HADES! GET BEHIND ARM! REMOVE CURSE! BREAK BUBBLE! DODGE MIDDLE! PUNCH HADES! HADES ACTIVATES BONDAGE ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) BREAK FREE WITH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP! KICK! HIS! FUCKING! ASS! Leave. He’s back. Dadcred enters the fight and chucks White Aurecity at him. Goth Wife, Knife Daughter, Sword Daughter, Sexy Nerd, and Book Son power it with light. Summon Ghost Husband’s Axe. THROW IT AT HIS FUCKING FACE! YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! ...Remember us...remember we once lived. Save Catte Son. Swim all the fucking way back to Kholusia. Lose Sexy Nerd on the way. Book Son almost dies. Get celebrated. Walk back to Crystarium. Enjoy a hero’s welcome. Go back to Eorzea. Pray thee return to the Rising Stones. Surprise Tataru.
Meanwhile in Garlemald. Edgestinien teams up with Hobo Gaius. They fight across Garlemald and break in. Zenos was possessing an Elezen. He takes his body back from Elidibus and stabs Emperor Severus Snape. Hobo Gaius is all like ZEEEENOOOOS! Cut and roll credits.
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