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martuzzio · 4 months

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HERMITCRAFT CATCHPHRASES

Hi, here's a (hopefully comprehensive) reference list of hermit catchphrases! The main goal here is to help writers and artists who (like me) might struggle with getting the characterization of some hermits right. Check out more info at the end of the post!

Note: this list updates a lot whenever I get new suggestions, which means reblogs aren't always fully accurate. I've linked this post to the top of my blog so it's easy to access the most recent version :)

Bdubs Shreep / uh-oh, gotta shreep! Crastle I love ya to death It’s gorgee Beyootiful Uh oh! Hell’s blazes! Hawsies YOU'LL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO! Shuddup! Judas priest! Bdubs' PERFECT REDSTONE!! What in the world! Holy cow! Nuh-uh! Hoimycraaaaaf Whimsy Trying my heart out

Beef EEskall That was my nickname in college! Nailed it! Dangit! Beefy Tunes Smelly Etho Opulent Etho? Oh, yeah, I own him Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Beef taught Etho about redstone Oh my goodness! Oh boy! What the heck Oh, baby! Quote unquote A ton of __

Cleo Class dismissed! I don’t need your stinky torches I will break your legs Trash is fish The answer to everything is leather pants Not because it’s the sand castle you deserve, but it’s the sand castle I need! What did you do, Joe…. It's FINE, everything's FINE Lovely Silly I mean... Not gonna lie... To be fair...

Cub DA CREAMADA CROP Alright guys Nice, nice Ladies and gentlemen / ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em Eeeeasy money Beautiful, absolutely beautiful Mmmmmhmmmmmm Holy smokes Let's goooo! Sweet Oh, baby! Man, oh man Without further ado Peace out Cheers / cheers, man There's some heat coming off that thing

Doc Are you kidding me now? Alright guys Can’t touch this The G.O.A.T. Etho, get to the damn land man! It all started when Grian touched my redstone… Epic

Etho Uh-huh Like-a so Oh snap Get your snacks! Holy smokes! Take care, have a good day, bye bye Aww snappers! Aww yeah Von Sway I barely know ‘er! Speaking of llamas Bright blue bamboo E. to the T. to the your mum Beefaroni / Beefers Speaking of llamas… That’s what she said! Free glass Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Suckerrrr! Check it out

False Blimey Awh dude Frick False Supremacy Oh my goodness I don't know about you guys, but... Props to __ I'm not gonna lie...

Gem Gem is great Her [name] is [adjective]! Gem will __ ("Gem will watch Impulse") Perfect! Epic It's true, I swear! Not gonna lie... Oh gosh! Trust the process Nailed it!

Grian Hello! My name is Grian Good… byeeeee! Pesky bird My heart! My little heart! Mumbo Mumbo you are AFK Can we just agree that Mumbo loses? What in Queen Elizabeth’s shiny crown was that? It wasn't me, it was the man in the chicken costume! SaAaaaAaAnd Chobblesome SCAR NO— / NO SCAR— In theory… Electric boogalooo What does this button do? What on earth? This is in shambles Get outta here! Hear me out... We don't have __. What we DO have is __ Just straight up Without further ado Crack on Bingo bango Yes. 100%

Hypno Right, right Mmhmm You guys Dang guy

Impulse What’s goin on everyone? Shovel Shuffle BEHIND YOU GEM! Peeps Geez Let's goooo! Are you kidding me? Oh, man Now we're talkin'! Holy smokes Oh my gosh How cool is that? Jeez! Dang it! Buddy Presi (for present) You bet!

Iskall Hallo -skall ("richskall") That’s mega / that’s looking absolutely mega Omega “Excuse me? Sir?” __ of doom Okay, lol And I will see you dudes in the next episode I’ve had a realization Oh for goodness sake! It’s not fat, it’s big-boned Not gonna lie SaAaaaAaAnd Very fine Great success! Bird poop Bumbo Cactoni Do you even bust? / Do you even bust bro E Pag

Jevin Hypno smells! Oh my god Sucker What the heck Dude Man I swear

Joe Howdy y’all! That’s the Joe Hills difference! I will now say a poem of my own devising Core concept Keep adventurin’! Time skip! Who’s the guy who conquers death? That’s Joe Hills No not rage quitting I have to pick up my daughter from school or my wife will rage quit me! Grow Hills / Expand Joe Joepacity / Jhost

Keralis Look into my eyes and nothing but my eyes Wanna buy a book? Spank you very much Just sit back, relax, and enjoy Like this, like that I can see my house from here! Bubbles, Shashwammy, Sweetface, Princess Lookie lookie at my cookie / lookie lookie at my cookie… no, please don’t Like-a so I love your face I’m a real boy! I don’t k-nove (know) Not like this! Booshes Clever girl But first… lemme take a selfie I’m sinking… mayday mayday we’re sinking! Hallo yes dis is de German coast guard what are you sinking about? Scary harry larry I’m alayve! Breathtaking — no you’re breathtaking Mm-kay Oh behave I’m a simple man MeOOOow Welcome to my humble abod-ee Not too shabby My face! My palms are sweaty, mom’s spaghetti Tag 2 Booga Booga Stiffy nipples Batman! First I was afraid, I was petrified...

Mumbo I worry about myself sometimes I'm not really quite sure if I like that or not Yeah… yeah that's looking good… I guess… Dude! Chuffed to bits It’s a bit pants I’m such a spoon Oh my word It’s quite simple, really / it’s actually quite simple Bonkers I’ll catch you in the next one. See ya Off you pop Oh goodness me! Hermit challenges — initiation! All done and dusted To be frankly honest Seriously seriously cool Absolutely nuts I don’t even know what to say Iskall I feel sick Peace, love, and plants Moon’s big Mumbo for Mayor Quite simple

Pearl Lovely Bonkers At this point... Cheeky / you cheeky What's this? Mate

Ren Now we’re cooking with gas / we be cooking with gas today Ladies, get in line! / ladies, gentlemen, everybody get in line! You picking up what I’m putting down My dudes Y’know what I’m sayin’ Coming atcha frommmmmm Dude Coming from left, right, and center Greetings cyberdogs and citizens of the Interwebs, this is Ren-diggity-dog comin at ya in another episode from the Hermitcraft server (ey!) Automagically Jazztastic Janktastic Oh baby Like nobody’s business Looking absolutely magnificent Anyhoozle Twaddle Renstone The Octagon is a well-oiled machine! [word]-age [word]-ation [word]-i (to make things plural You love / hate to see it I'm just sayin' / if you know what I'm sayin' Professional __ Jazz Anyhoozle Exqueeze me? Freakin' Some serious __ What's happenin', baby? Chesticles

Scar Scarred for life Woah, what in the world! It’s gonna be am-ay-zing LOOK at the siiiiize of that Well, hello there my fellow miners and crafters, GoodTimesWithScar here. Welcome back to the wonderful world of Hermits and crafting Don’t forget to subscribe or you might just become scarrrred for life! Looking super fancy Let’s hit super fast build mode! Look at the size of that Appreciate ya Hotguy! Operation: Aquathunder! That’s what she said! Rapscallion You silly goose Oh, sweet baby Jellie! Bayum! / Bam! The bee's knees Easy peasy, orangey squeezy

Stress Are you havin’ a giggle? / are you takin the mic? Mate Oh my god / oh my gosh / oh my good gordons Gorgeous Plonker Geezer Ohhhhh nooooo! Yeeeesshhh I legged it Such a pro / I'm such a pro Proper __ Cheeky Bloke Thingamajig Ain't [word]-age [word]-ies

Tango Happy fun sauce -ificator, -inator, -ness, -tastic Skadoodle Fearsome bunny slippers Noob juice So here’s the deal Holding shift Shwoop Flim flam Poop came out Extra dumb with dumb sauce / __ of extra dumb Flee with extra flee! / fleeing with terror! Boom booms Gah! The dungeon is ready for its next victim Behold! Results may vary! I think my math is correct, but it’s been known to be wrong This is the worst timeline. I hate everything Big no! You— you freak of nature! Jerkface Jerkbutt Excellent How embarassing This is true Zombert Bits This I gotta see! Right in the face! [word] is happening Yeah baby! Stupid jerks Boop This is the best / worst thing ever! Niner niner niner [general unintelligible noises]

TFC What in tarnation! Crap-tacular Humongous Butt-ugly Ugly as sin Oh, goody Ender-twits Bugger Oh, fart For crying out loud

Wels Words are hard If you will Super __

xB Aww yeah Mmkay Son of a biscuit Pretty frickin' __ Man Get frickin' wrecked! Chestacle Dang it Staaph it Oy vey Crap on a cracker Dang it, Bobby! Dang guy

Xisuma Oh goodness me Oh dangit Geez Peeps I’m such a derp Oh my days Chooturial Issooma Allo Woa’ah Brought (instead of bought) My dude Achacha

Zed Hello hello hello A-good a-bye Muckin' about I lied TaaaAAnnGoOOooooOOOo Hu-jah! Pretty darn __ Certainly Rubbish I'm [word]-ing [word] me [word]-iness What happens is... Get kersplatted! Epic Oh my goodness!

More Info

So I'm currently writing a HC fic and realized how little I know about some of the hermits (I unfortunately don't have time to watch all of them), which made it really difficult to depict them properly in my writing. I'm assuming at least some of you might also struggle with this, so, here we are!

If you know of a catchphrase from any hermit from any season, comment, reblog, send me a an ask or dm, dm me on discord, whatever works the best :D

Note: when I say "catchphrase," I mean anything a hermit repeats over an extended period of time. It can be something said during a single season (like "You'll speak when spoken to!" or "Hermit Challenges!"), or something that spans their entire careers (like "Aww snappers!" or "Plonker"). I'm not looking for one-off quotes that are never bought up again — there's some great sources (like @hermitcraft-correct-quotes) for that already :)

Sources (which will hopefully expand with time): This reddit post from four years ago This other reddit post also from four years ago Reddit from three years ago This cute diagram A more up to date source Another Xisuma's dictionary on his website HC character tv tropes page This incredible google doc

#Hermitcraft #hermit catchphrases #hermitcraft catchphrases #hermit quotes #hermitcraft quotes #This post is going to update many many times so reblogs might not always be up to date #if you have a suggestion to add please let me know!

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samathekittycat · 2 months

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A galaxy brained idea just beamed into me, they should record one liners and mod it so that each Hermit Player Head says the catchphrase of that hermit when placed on a note block!!!

I severly need someone to click on Tango's head and have Silly Noises emitted for all to hear. Think of the PRANKING POTENTIAL

#hermitcraft #hermitblr #hermitcraft season 10 #hc s10 #sama speaking #tangotek

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enpr-ss · 7 months

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TWO HOURS??!?!?!?!! WE ARE FEASTING TODAY GIRLIES

Etho “I suck at parkour” Slab nailing the lava area while being chased by ravager and vexes.

“What is this garbage!” One of my favorite Etho catchphrases.

Sir how did you get up there. And of course your strategy is to camp even when Tango changed it to stop you from doing that. Dies and immediately does a level 1 treasure run. Peak Etho.

HE’S SO GREEDY!! “Can we get four more embers” dude you want 25 embers on a level 1 medium run? Man is delusional. I CANT BELIEVE HE GOT AWAY WITH IT!!! BRO. Tango must have been fuming. Etho has some frost ember loss aversion here lol.

DOES HE HAVE 3 LOOT AND SCOOTS???

“I am not going to be greedy…. I’m going to get my crowns and get out…..You would treasure hunter me just before I leave.” THE DUNGEON IS TROLLING HIM SO HARD. the sheer petulance in his voice, the slight shakes in his mouse => excellent storytelling

His strategy is solid. And of course he’s the first one to figure out the spider passage, with its high risk and rewards. Of course he likes it. LOL ONLY 21 FE ARTIFACT WHAT A SCAM HAHA. He doesn’t even care about getting out on a “worthless” run. This guy. He’s always one short.

“That means we’re going to get a great artifact, the best one ever.” Gets a 23 Artifact. “I’m going back to medium! This is baloney, man!” LOL GET SCAMMED.

Silk Road is such a good name for the spider passage.

HE GOT ETHO WALLED AGAIN HAHAHA. but he loot and scoots on by the ravager. Plot armor. “Happy tunnel leads to misery bridge” LOL TRUE

28 COINS! HE KEEPS GETTING TROLLED BY THE DUNGEON. SPEAKS IT INTO EXISTENCE. “Even if I get an uncommon card here” gets the lowest uncommon card. Even Cub and Tango are counting his dings LOL.

He needs more pockets to stuff all of his treasure in! “Oh we gotta need to leave” ember pops up behind him. The shaky cam, the sneak card playing all too late, no clank block… the dungeon wants him to stay in SO BAD! It’s even getting sneaky about it. 39 COINS! “Tango doesn’t need to know about this.” Tango sighs.

Man will nearly die to clank and hazard multiple times and still refuse to buy blockers. And then the other hermits gleefully reporting his dings.

“Eleven! Oh my god this is just getting ridiculous” -Cub

with the last indignant “thirteen!” before the cut

THE TREASURE DING AND THE SLOW HEAD TURN BACK. TECHNOBLADE MOMENT.

“I’m not running hard after I fail until I build up my deck” buys frost seeker and treasure cards and tomes instead of blockers.

I cannot believe he got a refund. He deserved that ravager fair and square. That’s favoritism. Tango just wants to see Etho suffer in Hard (same). And Cub and Jevin joining the peanut (heh) gallery to heckle him along. And Cub coming in strong on the trolling right on the get go.

“What’s your run success rate Tango, huh?” ETHO TRASH TALKING BACK!! Trolling his audience with greedy plays LOL.

His greed kills him so much.

Dude that etho wall jumpscared me too! He unstuck that ravager what a pro.

#Technoblade game breaking vibes are very strong lol #Etho #ethoslab #enpr-ss #decked out 2 #hermitcraft #phase 2

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hermitprankwar · 7 months

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Hermit Prank War: Round 3 Match 1

Covering the Perimeter (Season 9)

Prankster(s): Grian, GoodTimesWithScar, and Mumbo Jumbo; with assistance from Etho, FalseSymmetry, GeminiTay, ImpulseSV, Iskall85, Joe Hills, and Xisuma Victim(s): DocM77

While Doc was on holiday, the Buttercups took on the enormous task of fully covering over his 500 by 500 block perimeter with solid land. After the prank idea was pitched at the weekly Hermitcraft meeting, many other Hermits joined in on the effort. The result was a huge expanse of fully terraformed plains, complete with scattered trees and flowers.

The Jingler (Season 6)

Prankster(s): Cubfan135 Victim(s): Everyone

While the Jingler's actual pranks were largely small scale--most of which involved leaving mysterious signs with the catchphrase "#Jingled", and once notably editing the pure white map that made up Grian's infinity room to add the message, "YOU HAVE BEEN J-J-JINGLED!!!"--the true prank laid in the long-running mystery of the Jingler's identity. No one truly knew who the Jingler was until nearly four years later, during a Hermitcraft 10 year anniversary stream where Cub finally confessed.

#hermitblr prank war #docm77 #grian #goodtimeswithscar #mumbo jumbo #cubfan135 #hermitcraft

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nonhumanhermitheadcanons · 3 months

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I remember thinking about the robot tango headcannon and realized something

One of Tango's iconic catchphrases is "Tango of the Tek variety" now there are two questions to ask here

Are there other Tangos of different varieties?

Are there other Tangos out there of the Tech Variety?

If tango was a robot, he was probably mass produced

It's something Tango doesn't like talking about. He doubts humans would like confronting the idea they weren't actually one of a kind, either! They don't have to, though, with their stupid genetics and organicness.

Tango is unique, though! As unique as a mass-produced robot can be. Where most of the Tango line are limited to their coding and purpose, he's expanded from it. Sure, he still likes redstone best, but he's learning to build! To create games! And he's doing it for himself, not for whoever bought him.

He also likes to think he's pretty funny, but that's neither here nor there.

It remains risky for him to leave the safety of Hermitcraft. Most people don't look past the fact he's supposed to be a stupid, thoughtless robot. They ask if he's lost, where his owner is. The worst ones have subtly tried to stealificate him! And that still doesn't compare to seeing another of the Tango robots. Their blank, smiling expressions, their stock phrases and neverending cheer.

Ugh, the thought makes him shiver.

So, Tango might be of the Tek variety. But he's also of the Hermit variety, and he's not letting anyone take that away from him!

#hermitcraft #hermitcraft headcanon #hermitblr #tango tek #robot tango #kirbee-hd

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catmaidetho · 1 year

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🍁🍁WHY YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR ETHO IN THE MCYTBLR SEXYMAN POLLS🍁🍁

a text post this time!

he ticks so many sexyman tropes.

tropes sourced from here

ANIMAL THEMING. (speaking of llamas! also arctic foxes!)

ANGST. (last life ethubs

CAPITALIST. (he has a shopping addiction. he's admitted to it.)

CHAOTIC. (have you seen the recent anvil wars pettiness??)

CON ARTIST. (DOES SHADE-E-E'S MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?)

MILF.

QUOTEABLE CATCHPHRASE. (oh snappers! uh-huh, yep yep! SPEAKING OF LLAMAS!)

DIVORCED. (LAST LIFE ETHUBS....)

EYE IMAGERY. (only look in one eye. dont look in the other bad things will happen.)

SMARTDUMB. (he is so pathetic and floppy but he builds the most impressive redstone contraptions you've ever laid your eyes on)

KNIFEMURDERER. (fishingrods you fishingrods you fishingrods you)

CANON/FANON DIVERGENCE. (he is simply not that mysterious or aloof i wrote a whole characterization post on how to get him right)

FLANDERIZATION. (he does this to himself half his personality is being canadian, saying sorry, and drinking coffee. we also do this with his sleeplessness)

MYSTERIOUS. (GOODTIMESWITHSCAR HIMSELF said that etho is "mysterous" on a recent livstream.)

COVERED FACE. (we love a man in a mask)

PERPETUAL SMILER. (you can always tell he is smiling in his videos, he's such a smiley guy)

SCARS. (eye scar! also fanon gives him mouth/lip scars a lot!)

TALL. (listen we dont know for sure that he's that tall but he's taller than bdubs)

THEME SONG. (resource gathering by elybeatmaker)

WHITE HAIR. (kakashi naruto)

OTHER THINGS OF NOTE

i have so much etho trivia in my brain always

he is a paramore stan. [x]

his lets play series is at 575 episodes and has been running for 12 years with only one world reset when the end was released.

his style has influenced many of the hermits, to the point doc has called him their mother (in a sense). [x]

literally all of the hermits love him. you should too. [x]

VOTE ETHO.

#khaos.txt #etho #mcytblr sexyman #ETHOSWEEP #hi i have so much to say always #id's provided by synnie ilyy <3

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galaxyworm103 · 1 year

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Me looking at the checklist of Sexyman traits from the Sexypedia. Me looking at Scar:

Me: okay so thats

Capitalist (S6 with Concorp, S7 with literally everything. S8 with the Swaggon)

Clown (The Jangler. He had a jester hat ON HIS BASE)

Distinctive Voice (Need I say anything about this one?)

Quotable Catchphrases (I think his intro n outro count as this. And I know everybody recites them when watching his videos)

Duality (We all saw his S9 arc of being a themepark owner at day and then being an assassin at night. There were Jekyll and Hyde jokes made about this)

Eldritch (I don’t think Scar himself is Eldritch but he definitely has some kind of thing with the horrors. I mean he did just. Know they wouldn’t die in the Boatem Hole, because it was a Rift, and our Rift is pretty ominous. Also his associations with Grian helps)

Monster Features (Vex Scar exists. Need I say more)

Spectacles (He wore a monocle in S7 and sunglasses in S9)

Green (One of the colors associated with Scar is green. Partially due to it being a common color in his S8 fit, but also it was on his Vote for Scar posters from S7.)

[Partially] Mad Scientist (While not having the traditional mad scientist vibe, Scar did create the Resurrection Chamber after Demise in S6. Which would take a Wild Steve, change their body, and allow a decaying/dying Player to use that body as their own. Scar did this to himself and Impulse. That’s gotta count for something)

Obscured Face (the Vex Masks from S5 and S6)

Oncerlization (this is less about Scar getting his own subfandom this is more about Scar was ACTUALLY JUST the Onceler. Heck during S7 he had an alternate skin THAT WAS A GREEN SUIT!!! He was Literally the Onceler!!)

Perpetual Smiler (maybe not in fanart, but his MC skin is constantly smiling. And with how he talks, I could be convinced he is almost always smiling)

Power (mans canonically had access to Vex Magic. Also was a wizard twice. And one of his crystals actually seemed to be legit, given Cub’s reaction during S7 when getting one)

Purple (Due to S7 and Last Life, I’d say Scar is somewhat associated with purple)

Theme Song (while not his own theme song, the Sewer Cats song was made by Scar and remixed several times over. Also smth about Sewer Cats screams Sexyman to me. [EDIT] Super Fast Build Mode could also be his theme song, has no lyrics though which is why I didn’t initially count it)

Technically Antagonist (in S7, he played a corrupt politician who was screwing over an island. In 3rd Life, if you watch the Red Army’s POV, Scar is clearly the antagonist. He was also King Ren’s hired assassin. So)

Suit guy (Scar has several suit skins. He has the Convex suit, which is a black suit with diamond cufflings + tie. He has the Hermits in Black suit from A77. He has his Mayor suit from S7. He has his blue pinstripe suit from S7, as well as a green suit also from S7. His S8 outfit isn’t just a suit but it is suit enough to count, same with his Create Mod outfit)

Uniform (in S6 he has the General Angry Eyes uniform, and in S9 he is wearing a uniform while working on his theme park)

Long Coat/Cape/Robe (Both of his wizard outfits seem to be robes.)

There are more things on the checklist obviously, and I’m not entirely sure how to find the checklist cause fandom wiki (and thus sexypedia) sucks. But!! I just thought I’d say all of this to get it outta my brain

#Goodtimeswithscar #gtwscar #mcytblr #mcyt #mcyt sexyman contest #Mcytblr sexyman polls #sexyman polls #scarsweep #vote for scar!! Look at his Sexyman Resume #Wormtalks #worm talks #what am i doin w my life

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devilart2199-aibi · 1 year

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Hahaha loved in that card game when Tango was like, "Zedaph...my weakness."

Same! 🤣 that was really funny. I'm looking forward to hearing all the hermits yell out each others catchphrases 😂

#aibi chats

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sexymanxisuma · 4 months

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not sure if this is something you can do but I thought I’d check here because you are The Xisuma Guy, could you list what you’d call the most notable personality traits / habits of xisuma and some common speech patterns of his? just for a characterisation thing I’m working on! no worries if not

first of all, i very much appreciate the complement ^-^ and hopefully i can be of some help ^-^

now i will preface this with the fact that i havent done much in way of writing xisuma so im mainly going off of what ive picked up in his videos/streams and in fics ive read that i think work really well ^-^

very important is that xisuma is a bit of a derp, he does silly things sometimes. he is very knowledgable in the game but sometimes he just does something very silly (see xisuma fully making a farm/smelter thing to make charcoal blocks just to realize that charcoal blocks are a modded thing) (also see xisuma getting way more obsidian than he would ever need, resulting in a double derp moment)

also very important to include some sassy coments or sarcastic comments in his dialogue. this can really be seen in some of the interations xisuma has with his chat during streams (a moment that immediatley comes to mind for me is the 'pearl's junk shop' moment)

i would definetly recommend watching some of his videos from the hermit x empires crossover or some HHH streams to get a good idea of his dynamic with other people. his episode where he spawned withers with cub etho and tango in the deep dark is also a good one for that ^-^

another trait i would include is that xisuma is very appreciative of the hermits builds/redstone machines. some great examples of this would be doc's TCG anvil cannon, beef's hermitcraft TCG, and pixlriff's copper aging machine

when talking xiusma does a lot of crouching and punching. and when he is listening to someone else he does a lot of crouching as well

i also found some posts that have common phrases and typing characteristics of xisuma in them ^-^

#asks from the void #xisuma #xisuma writing #clips from the void #i hope this helps ^-^#i kept thinking of other things while tracking down videos lmao

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swamp-chicken · 2 years

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“pull me closer” and scardubs? :)

hotguy saves the eve, 707 words

Bdubs fumbled the keys of the moss shop trying to get the door closed behind him. It was a bit later than he was used to being out, the evening was deepening into full dark and the glow of the streetlights wasn’t enough to fully light the area. Bdubs could already hear some mobs spawning past the treeline.

He shouldered the bag containing his earnings for the day and hurried down the street, keeping his head down. His base wasn’t too far away, and if he stuck to the road he’d probably be safe.

The key word being probably.

There was the whistle of a rocket in the sky, the flash of enchanted armor. Bdubs kept walking, hoping it was just a late-night shopper.

No such luck. “Hotguy!” The shout echoed through the shopping district. It was a catchphrase that, by now, most hermits had learned to fear.

“Judas Priest,” Bdubs muttered, adjusting his bag. If he was shot down here, his diamonds would scatter everywhere. And then he would have to come back, unarmored, in the dark. “Leave me alone, Scar!” he shouted into the night.

In the next moment, there was the sizzle of a creeper igniting. Bdubs shrieked and jumped forward, acting on instinct. Then there was the twang of a bow, the zip of an arrow through the air. The creeper hiss extinguished and Scar soared over Bdubs’ head, laughing.

Bdubs glanced behind him, heart in his throat. A creeper lay dead on the ground, a single arrow in his head. “Thanks? I guess?” Bdubs called, voice shrill.

Scar was throwing rockets, building height. He wheeled through the air, turning towards Bdubs and sweeping towards the ground. Bdubs recognized it as his classic building velocity posture. “Oh no,” Bdubs groaned. “No, no, no.”

Bdubs turned and began running pell-mell down the street towards his monolith. The whoosh of Scar’s approach got closer and closer. Bdubs braced himself.

And then he was suddenly being borne aloft in the air, cradled in Scar’s arms.

Bdubs screamed.

“I’m saving you!” Scar yelled over the sound of moving air. “Would you calm down?”

“Saving me from what?!” Bdubs snapped.

“From the creatures of the night, of course,” Scar scolded. “Hold on.”

He threw another rocket into the air and they shot higher. Bdubs yelped and threw his arms around Scar’s neck.

Scar smiled at him cheekily. “Relax, it’s fine!”

Bdubs gulped and resolutely turned his head away. Scar’s chest was firm where it was pressed against Bdubs’ own.

Scar was aiming for the top of his Hotguy tower and gift shop, it seemed. Scar spun around the tower, slowing their momentum, before landing lightly on the roof. Bdubs got his legs under him, but only barely. His knees felt like jelly.

It was cold up here at the top of the tower, and so windy that Bdubs’ eyes were tearing up. Scar’s arm was warm around his waist, steadying him.

“What do you think?” Scar asked.

“What do I think about what?”

“The view!” Scar gestured with his free hand at the shopping district spread before them, glowing in the night, the royal laws towering above the buildings.

“It’s nice,” Bdubs said, mystified. Had Scar brought him up here just to show him the shopping district? “There’s no creepers up here, at least.”

Scar released his hold on Bdubs’ waist, taking a step back. “You never really get to see the server at night,” Scar explained sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I guess not,” Bdubs agreed, even more discomfited.

There was a sudden burst of wind, so powerful Bdubs’ feet skidded across the rooftop. “Agh!” he squawked, suddenly becoming aware that there was no fence around the roof and that he was dangerously close to the edge.

Scar grabbed his wrist.

“Pull me closer!” Bdubs wailed, eyes screwed shut.

Scar obliged, hauling Bdubs towards him. Bdubs braced his hands against Scar’s chest until he felt steady enough to open his eyes.

Scar was gazing down at him, a smile evident in the corner of his mouth. “Aren’t you going to thank me?”

Bdubs snorted and pressed himself on to his tiptoes, kissing Scar’s cheek. “Thank you, Hotguy. Now please get me down from here.”

#my fic #scardubs #an ode to the scitties #hermitshipping #I love hotguy can you tell

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