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messenger-of-stupidity · 9 months

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However, Your Mother

Welcome back to another Shaw Mates Group Chat Post that totally hasn't been sitting completed in my drafts for over a month because I forgot to post it nope not at all that would be utterly ridiculous ahahaha

This is pretty short though because my brain has been filled with angst for the past several months and crack isn't really doing much for me atm.

CW: Angel is back on their crack shit but keeps getting rejected, Baabe is living for the gossip, Sweetheart is a bit more active, Sam just wants some normality but he should know better by now fr fr

Actual CW: Crack, Cursing, Shenanigans, GN Listeners, Any gendered terms are purely for the memes and should not be taken seriously in any kind of way.

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Sweetheart: My supervisor is literally dog turds

Angel: i dont know whether to be happy i wasnt first or upset that u didnt say cat litterbox droppings

Baabe: what happened invisi?

Sweetheart: Were circling back to that nickname later. Whats wrong is that theyre making me stay late

Angel: but but 2nites mate nioght

Sweetheart: I know it is thats why Im upset

Baabe: theres only one thing left to do. we cause a error in the computer system and hold their information hostage so that way invisi can sneak out. get it? sneak? cause theyre a stealth? im so funny.

Sam: I knew it was too much to hope that for once this was a normal and legal conversation, and yet I did so regardless. Good lord.

Angel: vamp daddy

Angel: welcome to another episode of davey is gonna kill me

Baabe: whatd you do?

Angel: hol up a sec i need to wait for invisi and vamp daddy to be here

Baabe: if this was discord we could @ them.

Angel: omg it would be so fun to have a mates disc call

Baabe: IT WOULD

Sam: This is the highest level of my tolerance. I don't think I could handle a group call with all of you. Especially without David to monitor.

Angel: davey do be a sexy supervisor vroom vroom

Sam: I'm never going to be able to look at David the same now. Thank you for that.

Angel: yw now where is my invisible hoe

Baabe: imma call them.

Angel: that just leaves vamp daddy and me (っ˘ڡ˘ς)

Sam: Oh dear lord.

Angel: nope just me

Sweetheart: Whatd I miss

Baabe: angel fucked up again.

Sweetheart: Oh good

Angel: cool now that everyones here

Angel: how does one get dough off high ceilings and back into the kitchen

Sam: Do I even want to know how you managed that?

Baabe: by asking you have become complicit. congrats!

Sam: Shit.

Sweetheart: Before I tell you I wanna know how tf you managed to do that

Angel: so i was making pizza rite

Baabe: its gonna be a multi text situation. neat.

Angel: and the impulsive urge to yeet that motherfucker at the ceiling with the force of a thousands suns came upon this bitch

Sam: And that should be a lesson in control, kiddos.

Angel: but i couldnt do it in the kitchen because i wasnt in the kitchen

Sweetheart: Then where tf were you

Angel: in davey and me bedroom

Baabe: omg this keeps getting better. i cant wait to tell Ash.

Angel: we have hella high ceilings so i got on the bed and threw the dough at the ceiling

Angel: now its stuck and davey is gonna come home any minute

Sweetheart: I lied I have no idea how to get pizza dough off high ceilings I just wanted to hear the story hehehehe

Angel: ((유∀유|||))

Baabe: all mates are wonderful. all werewolves are awesome (except chrissy all my homies hate chrissy) but Ash is by far the best. <3

Angel: omg i literally luv my house husband

Sweetheart: Disagree what evidence do you have

Baabe: three words invisi.

Angel: i love you

Baabe: no

Angel: rejected by my waifu im never gonna financially recover alexa play the wheels on the bus

Baabe: breakfast. in. bed.

Sweetheart: Three words for you

Angel: i love you

Sweetheart: No

Angel: rejected twice in one day by my waifus alexa play arabian nights

Sweetheart: Crumbs. In. Bed.

Sam: Why was this what I had to come in to?

Angel: sam wont reject me will u vamp daddy

Sam: Without hesitation I absolutely will.

Angel: im literally gonna kms ༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted shaw pack #redacted shaw pack mates #redacted pack mates group chat #redacted angel #redacted baabe #redacted sam #redacted sweetheart #redacted davey #redacted ash #shaw pack mates group chat

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tsukimi-writes · 3 years

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WELCOME !!

hiiii !!

this is a blog where hoes users kimi and tsu share their creative minds with the world via headcannons, oneshots, && snippets ✌😪

we’re multi fandom (more about that later) and we will gladly take up any requests you might have!!

feel free to stick around and maybe even request something! ✨✨✨

HEY LIL MAMAS 🥶🥶, TSU HERE !!

just wanted to thank you for stopping by, it’s greatly appreciated haha! my name is tsu, a co-owner of this blog 😼😼

i am pronoun indifferent, an anime enthusiast, i listen to sza religiously 😎 oh! and you can find me @min-tsuzuroon as well 🤩

i'm multifandom; haikyuu, fairy tail, and twisted wonderland are definitely some of my specialties 🙈🙈 i do decently well at bnha, diabolik lovers and obey me too!

also i simp hard for kuroo and bokuto lol so if you do as well, this is your damn place ✋😌

wattpad: TSUZUROON-

quotev: TSUZUROON

ao3: tsuzuroon

💕💞 HI SEXYS, IT’S KIMI 💋💫✨

your favorite genz bimbo besides chrissy chlapecka 💞

thank you so much for stopping by tsu and i’s page !! i promise we’re nice but know that we love you so much 💓

i’m kimi 💖 the other co-owner of this blog !! my pronouns are she / her. i’m a fashion obsessed and baby fevered bitch who tsu has to constantly deal with lmfao

i do all of the fandoms tsu does as well !

i’m a hardcore ushijima stan, and if you are too? you got amazing taste 🌷✨

bops aggressively to “best friend by saweetie ft. doja cat” w/ tsu

wattpad: MRS-USHIJIMA

quotev: MRSUSHIJIMA

tumblr: mrsush1j1ma

RULES && EXTRA INFO !!

obviously there's gonna be some things that we not gonna do so! here is a heads up before you request!

fandoms!!

— haikyuu

— twisted wonderland

— bnha

— diabolik lovers

— obey me

— kuroko no basket

— brothers conflict (do yall still exist out there lmfao)

— ouran high school host club

— violet evergarden

— fruits basket

— fairy tail

what we take!!

— character x readers

— headcanons and onehots

— both sfw and nsfw can be taken!

— readers of all genders!

— crossovers

— multiple characters x reader

— aus!

— (for nsfw) sub readers, dom readers, switches!

— if you're not sure what is acceptable and what isn't, just ask!

what we do NOT take!!

— character x character, sorry, x reader only!

— incest

— (for nsfw) minor reader x non-minor, non-minor reader x minor character

— that's some pedo shit right there and we do not fuck with that! 🥰

— knife play

— piss kinks

— no hate on people who like knife play, but if you have a piss kink… 😀 are you alright? sincerely, tsu

extra!!

— when requesting, please add the pairing, type (sfw or nsfw), any kinks (nsfw only lmao), and any extra info!

— the more detail, the better!!

— we have the right to refuse any requests!

— all reader x children! characters must be strictly platonic (ex. cheka and ortho from twisted wonderland)

— swear to god if you don't follow that rule kimi will block u 👊😀 SO HARD

— (for nsfw) all characters will be aged up to 18+ here.

— we both know how easy it is to plagiarize and copy on here. but please! don't steal our works or graphics.

— or we will punt you into the sun like a football!! 🤗🤗

aaand that’s it! thanks so much for stopping by!

— WITH LOVE, tsu && kimi ♡♡

#rules #get to know us #tsu and kimi blessing the world #headcannon requests

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kpopfanfictrash · 5 years

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kakistocracy Namjoon and y/n talking about their career aspirations which ultimately prompts a sweet conversation about their future together 🥺

hello. here u go, hoe + happy birthday to namjoon!!!!

“So.” Namjoon lies flat on his back, scrolling through his phone. “What do you make of the current situation?”

Snuggling closer, you drape a leg over his thigh. “What situation?”

Namjoon’s lips quirk. It is still difficult to get used to the sight of him – here – in your bed. Especially with messy hair, rumpled boxers and the smell of sex in the air. Especially with those newfound biceps of his. Experimentally, you reach out and give one a squeeze.

Lowering his phone, Namjoon arches a brow. “I’m talking about all this nonsense,” he says, waving at his screen. “We’re meeting with the Taliban on 9/11, then we’re not, then he’s calling the Fed boneheads for not giving negative interest rates – dear fucking lord – and then he’s turning around to fight with an actress on Twitter. I just…” Namjoon wearily rubs his forehead. “When will it end?”

“Another year and a half,” you say. “Or, that’s the hope.”

“Hope. Ha.”

You laugh, kissing his chest. “I know it’s tiring. To quote our first lady, he’s a pussy ass bitch.”

Namjoon’s eyes widen. “Wait. His wife said that?”

“No, Chrissy Teigan.”

“Oh.” Namjoon laughs, throwing aside his phone. “You’re right, I remember that now. They asked me to compile talking points for his advisers yesterday on why that tweet was not sexist.”

“What did you say?”

“Nothing!” Namjoon groans, rolling sideways to face you. “I had an intern make up a list – that really shitty one – and casually stole a proposal from the President’s desk which would have lowered federal funding for all public schools.”

“Well, aren’t you heroic,” you tease. “And a law-breaker.”

Namjoon shrugs. “Just call me Robin Hood.”

“Mm,” you murmur, beginning to trace figure-eights on his chest.

Glancing at him, you feel your pulse start to pound. The two of you have been dating for nearly a year, unbeknownst to the entire administration. It has been hard to keep secret, but you both agreed this was for the best. Work is work – that is all. Lately though, things have been near-impossible. Each time you look at Namjoon, you want to yell from the rooftops that you two are dating. You want to show him off, and it sucks that you cannot.

“What are your thoughts on the future?”

Namjoon speaks softly, one hand on your waist. You look up at him in shock, wondering if he can read minds. “I – what?”

“For work,” Namjoon clarifies. “After all this is over… what do you want to do?”

“Oh.” An odd sense of disappointment courses through you. Obviously, Namjoon is speaking about your career. “I don’t know. I’ve been considering working on a Congressional campaign. Or, maybe… running myself?”

You look down in embarrassment, knowing this is a lofty idea.

Sliding his thumb under your chin, Namjoon lifts you to face him. His expression is serious. “I absolutely think you should do that,” he says. “You would be an amazing representative.”

You squirm, uncomfortable with the attention. “I don’t know,” you sigh. “That’s a lot of what-if’s. I’m used to being behind the scenes, you know? The people don’t even know who I am. Running for public office would be a long shot, and –”

Namjoon chuckles, bending to capture your lips with his own. The kiss is soft, sweet and much too brief for your liking.

“Everyone starts off unknown.” Namjoon breaks away. “But if anyone has a chance of becoming known, it’s you.”

“Thanks.” Cheeks heating, you shrug. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Well, what do you want to do after?”

Namjoon hums, flopping down on his back. “Oh, I don’t know.” He stares up at the ceiling. “Maybe work for a non-profit, or something. I just… this administration has really put me through the wringer. I’d like to decompress… get in touch with the people, you know?”

“I know,” you say, resuming tracing his chest.

Namjoon peers down at you. “And outside of work?” His voice catches a bit on the words. “What are you thinking about there?”

Fingers stuttering, you look up. “I don’t know. I was hoping that whatever I do… you’ll be there.”

Namjoon’s eyes gleam. “Yeah?”

You nod.

He inhales, grip tightening. When he pulls you closer, your head falls on his chest. Namjoon pushes a hand lazily through your hair. Your bedroom is silent for a moment, save for the sounds of you breathing. His chest rises and falls, lifting your body with his.

“Alright.”

You look up at him, confused. “Alright?”

“Alright,” he says, sitting up. Pulling you with, he settles against the headboard. “Wherever you go, I’ll come too.”

For a moment, you stare, speechless. “I – what?”

Namjoon smiles. “Lately, just about the only time I feel peaceful is when I’m with you. I don’t want to lose that. And… since I seem to be the adjustable one in our careers, I’ll go. Wherever you go.”

Staring back at him, you are unsure what to say. “You’re insane,” you breathe.

Namjoon’s eyes nearly disappear when he smiles. “Insane for you.”

“No,” you protest, grabbing his face with both palms. “You’re literally insane.”

“Does that turn you on?”

“Yes!” You laugh, climbing onto his lap. Draping your legs to either side, you wrap both arms around him. “I can’t get enough of you, you know this.”

Namjoon pulls you to his chest. “Ditto.”

You stay there for a moment, thoughtful. “You don’t have to follow me anywhere, though – you know that?”

Namjoon chuckles, breath displacing your hair. “I know that.”

“I want you to be successful, too.”

“I know that.”

“I don’t want to be one of those wives who carry your balls around in my trophy case.”

“That would be impractical. If my balls were in there, where would your spelling bee trophies go?”

“I don’t want to be a soccer mom, though.”

“Well, sure – kids might not even play soccer at that point. Who knows what the sports of future hold?”

“Namjoon!”

He laughs, pulling you closer. “I know what you mean, Y/N. I don’t think you should be worried about becoming either extreme.”

“I know.” Playing with the band of his boxers, you sigh. “Nothing is planned though, okay? If you find a job here, I could always figure it out. Maybe we could do long distance. It’s actually not that b–”

“Y/N.” Namjoon pulls back. “Please don’t worry about me. My decision is made. I don’t really care about my next career move. I want to stay with you and I’m letting you know I intend to. That’s all.”

You stare back at him, stunned. This is the moment you realize this might be it. This might be the relationship which lasts for the rest of your life. As soon as you think this, you pause and wait for the panic to follow.

It does not.

Slowly, you nod. “Alright.”

Namjoon’s smile widens. “Alright?”

“Yeah,” you say, snuggling into him. “Besides, who knows? Maybe this will all be a moot point because the dick will be reelected.”

“Take that back.”

“No.”

“Take it back!” Namjoon insists, grabbing your sides.

“No!” you yelp, giggling when he starts to tickle. Namjoon tackles you backwards, continuing mercilessly until you are gasping for air. “Fine!” you blurt out, wrapping both arms around his neck. “You win. I take it all back.”

“Good.” Namjoon bends, kissing you slowly.

Your mouth opens with his, arching upwards and – both your phones beep on the nightstand. You each groan, since you know exactly what that means. The asshole is awake, and has descended to Twitter.

“One more year, you say?” Namjoon sighs, reaching out for his phone.

“One more year.”

[ Kakistocracy ]

#Kakistocracy

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halcylu · 5 years

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what is the worst ooc interaction you’ve had? is there a rule/guideline you can’t stand? what is your favorite experience with shipping? what is your worst experience with shipping?

like a true clickbait hoe i’ll leave all the t under the cut !! [ send me ooc ask memes !! ]

what is the worst ooc interaction you’ve had? oooo f !! i’ve stayed clear of ooc drama ( i think ??? ) but i’ve had several interactions w ppl that has left me feeling … uncomfortable to say the least, one of them just a couple months ago actually oop ! it was a classic case of them shoving fcs and names in my face and taking control of my character which is such a turn off for me personally. that might just be me being easily weirded out, but if i want suggestions or help choosing i’ll always ask for it, other than that it just rubs me the wrong way for some reason. ANYWAY — they proposed doubling up which i agreed to, but it was sooo fucking obvious that my f character was just supposed to be background noise pretty much, which didn’t sit well with me at all. it’s totally cool to have favorite ships, ig that’s just natural ( i’m guilty of that myself ), but just blatantly ignoring one ship bc ur thirsty ??? nah sis. for someone who genuinely enjoys creating and developing and connecting with all my characters i honestly can’t relate to what seems like someone making up ocs for simply doubling up and to put all their time and energy into one of the ships without the feeling of guilt. i see through that bs and it’s just ….. big yikes.

is there a rule / guideline you can’t stand? not rly ?? i mean sometimes i’ll get annoyed by silly things like cancel culture regarding fcs when ppl just ban faces left and right bc god knows even the most righteous ppl in this community used to be problematic at some point. but at the same time that’s just personal preference and i can’t rly argue w that asdkl. simply put — if i don’t fuck w people’s rules / guidelines i just ,, don’t plot w them.

what is your favorite experience with shipping? SO MANY !!! i have such a great set of friends / writing partners and i luv all of them w whole my heart ok !!! not to get all sappy on main but @lcmongrass has rly created some of the characters and ships i truly hold closest to my heart, my absolute favorites being dex & chris, violet & jesse, finn & melanie, izzie & mason, paige & dylan and jack & chrissy * clutches heart intensely * !! also if i could mention some dynamics while im at it paige & olivia, felix & trevor and jack & olivia are the ones that make me laugh the most !! so a big shoutout to maren for making me fall so head over heels for every. single. one. of her characters ♡ @summerrobrts is rly also out here giving me the feels left and right huh !! we have so many plots and ships at this point and they’re all just giving me LIFE. we’re currently setting up our second ( 1!! ) mumu and i’m hella excited !! and i could never forget @dvisy for creating one of my absolute favorite ships and characters ever tbh. lacey & tucker just makes me feel some kind of way u kno ??? like their ( rare ) but soft moments makes my heart fucking jump out of my chest and the pure angst makes my heart hurt, but then there’s also those more snarky moments like lacey being a lil brat and tucker just being so fucking done w her that genuinely makes me laugh out loud asjks. i feel like i should probably shut up now but i can’t go on without mentioning the amazing @controlists bc as u know salem & joy and harlow & ezra owns my freakin ass !!!! playing tainted souls like salem is an actual Kink of mine and if i’m gonna be honest writing and exploring harlow as a character has been one of my favorite rp experiences so far though half the reason is probably how well you portray ezra like DAMN. creating the biggest mumu ever w @geminisrps ( seriously we need an award or smth bc that shit is COMPLEX ) and actually developing all sorts of pairings / dynamics and threads has been such a fun time, and @dumbinspo keeps breaking my poor heart with our amazing ships !! ♡

what is your worst experience with shipping? i honestly thought i didn’t have that many but now i’m trying to choose from a number of experiences lmao. i guess one worth mentioning is from my indie days ( rip ) when someone reached out saying they wanted to play one of my most wanted opposites against me, which naturally got me super excited, though i had to jot that down real quick as it was close to impossible to actually get some real plotting going. their character was just too above any plot or character if that makes any sense. and this isn’t me just reading into things, this person clearly stated their character was just simply too complicated and special for any type of relation ( which is also like yikes … i promise u they’re not ) UNLESS the plot would center mainly around their character while mine would basically just play a minor role helping the development of that character’s story asjks ew. i’m all about a good amount of brainstorming and throwing out ideas and spend actual time building the storyline but they were just ,, not having it and seemed straight up uninterested and annoyed by my ideas which for a second there had me wondering like ?? didn’t u approach me ?? asjkls. there’s definitely two sides to these kind of stories ( or more ) but that whole interaction just left me feeling like i was the one forcing my characters on someone which kinda sucked :–//. the gag is that similar stuff has happened since and in more recent times and im always just so ?? confused by it ?? END OF RANT.

#THANKS FOR LETTING ME RANT BIG TIME BOO #this was so much fun though ??? especially the favorite experiences part iG IM JUST FULL OF LOVE TODAY BB !!#lcmongrass #dumbinspo #controlists #geminisrps #dvisy #╰ ––– ooc » answered

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