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#hellraiser revelations

james-stark-the-writer · 2 months

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i'm not 2 minutes into Hellraiser: Revelations and i already fucking hate everything about it, jesus fucking christ, this is going to be a miserable hour and 10 minutes. at least it's mercifully short, the shortest Hellraiser so far, i doubt much hell will be raised, but ig that is the tiniest victory i can get from this. but amazon put like six fucking ads in between the movie so i'm sure it's going to be like fucking 2 hours while actually watching.

#james talks #james watches stuff #hellraiser #Hellraiser Revelations #Hellraiser: Revelations #Hellraiser IX #Hellraiser 9 #Hellraiser IX: Revelations #hate everything about this dialogue writing so much it's not even funny like actually already feel it crushing my soul

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pikkugootti · 1 year

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okay so

i had to make a post

im stuck doing schoolwork and suffering, so i thought it would be funny to watch ALL hellraisers. I WASN’T READY FOR THE HELL WHICH I RAISED

i will do in detail movie review later, but to sum up,

hellraiser I, II and III are fine, but with the bloodline it takes one of the most fucking bizarre turn i have seen. OKAY BUT AT LEAST IT TRIES TO HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE ORIGINAL STORY

i wasn’t ready when i started up hellraiser inferno. where the last one had something to do with original THE REST JUST KAJDFLKLAKDFJajdsfhfdsfhhjsfddhjsduhj>KjHJhLISDHFAEJHW(>T)(QRJIERHFJDHDJAhGHFADHUjk

like where as the first three and four are fantasy horror sci fi, THIS FUCKING MOVIE DECIDES THAT WE NEED A COP THRILLER

IT HAS ABSOLUTELY 0 CONNECTION WITH THE ORIGINAL STORY AND ONLY HAS PINHEAD SO PEOPLE CAN GO “OMG THAT’S THE GUY!!!!!!!! ::DDDDDDDDDDDDD”

hellseeker tries to kinda piggyback from last movie using the same effects, but it tries to add something from the original movies; kirsty

but like......................

SHE DOESN’T DO ANYTHING :sob:

SHE DOESN’T TALK ABOUT THE CENOBITES OR THE LAMENT CONFUGIRATIONS OR LABYRINTH SHE IS JUST THERE TO BE DEAD WIFE PROP - OR NOT EVEN THAT

THIS MOVIE IS LIKE 40% SOFTCORE PORN :sob:

what i find the most bizarre, is that doug bradley, the actor from the first movies still played pinhead in these later movies, even though they CLEARLY HAD NOTHING TO OFFER TO THE FRANCHISE PLUS THESE MOVIES HAVE ONLY CREDITS TO CLIVE BARKER AS “BASeD ON CHARACTERS CREATED BY CLIVE BARKER” AKA HE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MOVIES so why would doug bradley willingly participate in their creation????

AND THIS IS NOT ALL

THE CURRENT IM WATCHING NOW REVELATIONS HAS SOME OTHER ACTOR TRYING TO COPY WHAT DOUG BRADLEY DID AND WAS :sob: :sob: :Sob:

WHAT IS THIS PLEAS IM SOBBIN G TR RN????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#hellraiser #hellraiser hellbound #hellraiser hell on earth #hellraiser bloodline #hellraiser inferno #hellraiser hellseeker #hellraiser deader #hellraiser hellworld #hellraiser revelations #pikkugootti

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some-film-guy · 2 years

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“Hellraiser: Revelations” (2011)

Directed By: Victor Garcia

Dimension Films

Poster:

The last names of the two main families in this film, Craven and Bradley weren’t just chosen at random. Craven is a reference to the iconic director Wes Craven, and Bradley is obviously an homage to Pinhead’s original and main actor, Doug Bradley

Neither Clive Barker nor Doug Bradley liked this film, with Barker referring to it as “NO FUCKIN' CHILD OF MINE!” on Twitter, and Bradley calling it "a cinematic ash can copy"

This is the film so bad that I couldn’t find a single gif. Not one. Just jokes of course, if someone could point me into the right direction of some that’d be awesome!

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jasonsutekh · 5 months

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Hellraiser Revelations (2011), Judgement (2018), and (2022)

The puzzle box is opened and the cenobites descend to claim souls but can any deals be made?

Much of the graphics appears to still be largely practical which is a relief as it’s one of the few things setting this franchise apart from many of the others that have defaulted to modern tropes and CGI methods. It has also stayed true to some of the original imagery and structures while also trying to build upon it at times.

Easily one of the main flaws of these three, as well as most of the franchise, is that it leans more towards nihilistic conclusions. If horror can never have a happy (or happy enough) ending then there’s no stake in the characters, just a long wait until people are torn up. Especially when you include a character or characters that the entire film is based on saving, and then they’re long dead so it doesn't matter anyway. It makes for dissatisfaction.

A good deal of the acting is variable but the odd actor carries the drama fairly well, notably the lead woman in the latest one and the main pro-ant-agonist of the 2011 version. The pinhead variation wasn’t too damning, although it was odd in Judgement where he seemed to get emotional, but since they’re used so scarcely and in these versions have so many effects over their voice, they’re incidental at best.

The narrative in the 2018 film was rather predictable and the twists did little to satisfy as the more relatable characters are swept away by chains. Similarly the most sympathetic couple are the gay characters in the 2022 version and one is taken early on and then not fought for all that hard. 2011 had one of the more complex and interesting story lines but the ending still needed something to allow even an abstract closure rather than the pervading meta-dread.

Revelations: 4/10 -It’s below average, but only just!-

Judgement: 3/10 -This one’s bad but it’s got some good in it, just there-

2022: 4/10 -It’s below average, but only just!-

-In the reboot film the box has 6 ‘configurations’, they are: Lament (Life), Lore (Knowledge), Lauderant (Love), Liminal (Sensation), Lazarus (resurrection), and Leviathan (power).

#Film #Review #Hellraiser #Hellraiser Revelations #Hellraiser Judgement #2011 #2018 #2022 #Horror #Gore #Supernatural #Crime #JasonSutekh #Pinhead

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launchpadmcquack84 · 2 years

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Honestly, not as bad as everyone was making it out to be. It's not the greatest, but I've seen worst, especially in the Hellraiser franchise. Of course I miss Doug Bradley as Pinhead.

#pinhead #hellraiser #hellraiser revelations #horror

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munchflix · 2 years

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MUNCHFLIX - HELLRAISER: REVELATIONS

IMDB BLURB: Two college friends unwittingly release Pinhead and his minions.

WARNINGS: gore, bad sex scene, incest, violence towards sex workers, implied baby murder, REALLY bad SFX. Some gore and sexxor-type stuff included under the cut.

RATING: one pinhead out of wish.com

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: All reviews are done solely for humor and should not be taken seriously ever. If you cannot handle cursing, crude humor and probably some offensive things, pls do not read this.

Munch: So we're here with Dib and some tequila that only Biscuits is having because I'm already stoned and Dib is sober and we're gonna watch fuckin' Hellraiser Revelations.

Biscuits: I haven't seen this so I have no idea what I'm getting into and my opening thoughts are I made too much fucking margarita. I'm not a drunk in real life, I promise. These reviews are like, the only time I have alcohol

Dib: This movie is bad, I've seen this though.

B: Is this a found footage movie? I fucking hate found footage.

Dib: Yesn't.

B: I really hate found footage.

M: The opening bit is two random dudes putting the camera one inch from their face talking about their cool ass Mexico roadtrip.

Yes, the found footage parts of the movie do actually look this bad, on God.

B: Dumb sex crazed college kids fuck with something evil, yadda yadda yadda

Dib: Sudden cut! First nipples of the movie.

M: One of the kids has a Lament Configuration and he's doing some shit and oh no it's Peenhead.

B: The camera is literally out of focus every other second. i cannot even see whats happening. And now the found footage is over and some woman is watching the footage. The dialogue is...amazing.

Dib: This is like the best the dialogue gets honestly.

M: Now random family people. Who are they? Who knows!

B: Neighbours? I don't know. Fuck this lady for being sad about her dead or presumed dead son! Also why is their 16 year old daughter at the table during their adult get together?

Dib: She's an adult I think.

M: It's missing dude's girlfriend. Acting. Girlfriend is gonna go get the found footage movie that mom just suddenly had and find out what happened to her boyfriend. She sees them drinking in Mexico. Tequila is the best buzz?

B: HELL YEAH BROTHER!

Dib: There's also some not so subtle racism.

D: These guys didn't even take one semester of Spanish. That guy kinda looks like Jerma.

M: One of the dudes is fucking someone in Mexico, his girlfriend is watching the found footage and is very sad about seeing her boyfriend cheat.

Dib: Is this how sex??

M: Sure.

D: I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure he's humping the drywall.

Is this sex?

M: And now the dudebros gotta leave because uh...

B: This dude literally acting like he just killed her. ...Oh.

M: He literally killed her. It was an ‘accident’ I guess but dudebro boyfriend is freaking. Which one is her brother?

B: I don't know. Jerma is making a lot of sense here honestly, go tell the cops and shit.

M: Oh and the Lament Configuration just CONVENIENTLY made it back with the footage in his backpack.

B: These people talk like Oblivion NPCs.

M: Back with the family or families who are very sad about dudebro NotJerma and his disappearance. They don't understand. Maybe girlfriend Emma broke up with him.

B: Why is Emma's shirt like, tits out.

M: I don't know. She's supposed to be a teenager(?) surrounded by adults, it's a bit creepy.

Dib: She's like the sister of one of the dudes and the girlfriend of Jerma? (It’s the other way around actually) The acting is worse than I remember.

M: HOW??? So Jerma showed back up suddenly at the family gathering. Literally out of thin air. He's having a seizure on the couch.

Dib: There's no around and the phone is dead. Suddenly out of the corner of your eye you spot him....Great Value Pinhead.

B: Where is my son?? Where IS HE? Of course these rich white people live in the middle of nowhere. Nobody knows where NotJerma is and now the dads are fiiiiiiighting. How do these people come to blows so fast???

M: That's what living off the grid does to you.

B: These ppl are all on copious amounts of cocaine.

M: Why didn't the cars work again?

Dib: They're all gone. Pinhead had to go to Taco Bell

(cue laughter as "pinhead" shows up on the screen )

Look at this dude.

B: No guns for you Peter, you're drunk. Jerma is still dying on the couch, this guy kinda looks like bootleg George Clooney. Like they bought George Clooney off Wish. And Pinhead too.

M: Pinhead is uh....flaying some guy? And putting more nails into his face.

Dib: That's actually relevant to the plot.

M: I hate to agree with you but insofar as there is a plot....it is.

Dib: Oh they're doing plot. Emma opened the box again like a dumbshit.

M: She's obviously never seen a Hellraiser movie. Hello?? DEMONS? And everything is blue, his house, his car, his demons.

B: You're combining Halsey and Eiffel 65

M: I can do whatever i want, you're half drunk. Jerma is gone!

Dib: No he's just outside looking at the pool.

M: Jerma tells everyone about the cenobites, and they're like oh, okay.

Dib: Flashback again! back in Mexico

B: That stripper is wearing a lot of clothing.

Dib: Well she's gotta take something off!

B: I think your friend might be a psychopath, Jerma. This weird guy, i guess the vagrant from Jerma's story shows up and speaks perfect English.

M: He's got a box, and of course NotJerma is ALL IN because its gotta be cooler than murder and sex.

Dib: This vagrant is the only person who can act

M: You call that acting??

Dib: The bar is very low okay....

B: He is putting his all into it. Really glad vagrant was there to give us all this exposition. Jerma's face is my entire mood. I feel like the greeks already had a story about this wholevnot opening a box thing. You have to be sweaty and shirtless to open the box.

This man owes $1,502,284,265 dollars to Twitch chat.

M: Jerma's friend is a fucking douchecanoe. He's like well I fucked and murdered people and now I'm opening a hellbox but you're a pussy. Also we need to make a home movie of this.

Dib: This movie is only like an hour long and it feels so much longer.

B; This movie looks so bad. It looks SO cheap. It's like on the level of a Neil Breen movie.

M: That's an insult to Neil Breen.

Dib: The budget for this movie was 300,000 usd

M: What the hell did they spend it on?

B: Jerma's having a bad day.

M: He's drunk and getting picked up by a prostitute.

Dib: I like how they made Tijuana look like an absolute shithole.

B: How far into this movie are we? WE GOT NIPPLES.

M: And now a pointless sex scene again.

B: Jerma's gotta be so drunk he couldn't even get it up.

Dib: Now Jerma's murdering people because his friend in his head told him to. Oh there he is.

M: They don't explain this at all. Brother Dude suddenly pops up all fleshless from inside the bed where Jerma killed the prostitute.

B: How does this look worse than the original made 25 years ago? Why are there so many weird scenes with all this tension between these two dads??? Emma looks up the definition of cenobite.

Dib: Totally in Miriam Webster

M: It is though, it's a term for a member of a religious order. Clive Barker didn't make it up. Jerma back in real time spews nonsense about cenobites and then has a dream about having his face cut off by Chatterer with boobs

B: Dads come in to comfort Jerma. I didn't know George Clooney was Jerma's dad.

M: He looks more like other guys dad. We have no names for anyone, I don't even know asshole kid's name.

B: Nico?

Dib: Back to Emma who apparently knows everything about the Lament somehow.

B: she bites her lip sexily.

Dib: Stop seducing your friend's dad, Emma, its a bit sus.

B: GOD MOM, I can't even seduce my friend's dad!

M: Oh no, the incest. Jerma has been brought soup by Emma and now he's finally awake and all randy.

Very good soup.

Dib: Help me, stepbrother, I'm stuck!

M: I am not putting incest porn in here. Jerma drinks soup sexily. And tells Emma, who is his SISTER how awesome she is and how he got her the Lament configuration. Why has nobody just fucking asked Jerma where he was??

B: I love how there's no soup in that bowl.

M: Emma helps him uh, finish his soup. Now he's gotta touch her all creepy like.

B: Jerma's under evil cenobite influence

Dib: Well no...it's like...I can't really say anything.

B: Did asshole dude steal Jerma's skin and is pretending to be him?

M: Wow you figured that out really fast

B: Well it's not that hard to get.

M: Emma let the brother incest going on for far too long before she was like OH WAIT THIS IS BAD

B: Now the dad is playing with the Lament, why doesn't he get all horny and weird when he touches it

Dib: Emma takes a nap, worn out from all the incest

M: Drunk dads go into the woods with shotguns. they take 10 steps into the woods and Hark, a vagrant. The same guy from Mexico.

B: Why did Wish Chris Pratt suddenly develop a new york accent?

M: I guess PrattDad shot at the vagrant but now the vagrant is cutting his face off. It looks great.

Just kinda wiggle the knife back and forth a little; it’s just like peeling an orange.

B: That's a fine chunk of face meat.

M: Now PrattDad is back inside and he's bleeding and shit I guess the vagrant said something about the plot. PrattDad's makeup injuries do not match the giant chunk of face meat we saw

B: Clooney dad is like - I can't deal with this nonsense. Oh no, Jerma has a shotgun. He's fine now.

Dib: This is the climax of the movie, I think

M: I think so. Jerma shoots his dad, Clooneydad. Now both dads are dying. Jerma is doing all of this because he hates his angsty teen life. Come on, my guy.

Dib: Actual Jerma would've been a better actor. This guy is just every edgy high schooler I went to school with. How you make a one hour movie feel like a marathon. More flashbacks because we gotta get more blood for my meat friend in my mattress. How does he afford all this?

M: Hell powers.

B: *chokes on margarita* wtf did I just witness? That's one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Dib: I could do better special effects with 15 minutes and a Little Caesar's Hot n Ready. Meat Hoodie Man.

M: This is a much nicer place than he took the last prostitute to. Why does Jerma have to do the killing? Make Douchecanoe do it. He's the one who needs the flesh. Jerma has a whole crisis because the prostitute has a baby but Nico don't care, he'll eat a baby.

B: Just run, Jerma, run far away. Kill the baby, that's a cool edgy thing to do in a horror movie. Hey Griffin, kill the baby. Now Nico looks a little better fx wise but his head is way too big.

Dib: You're a horrible person! You made me kill people and you're literally a meat dude right now.

B: Jerma is the only even remotely sensible person in this movie.

M: JermaNico is telling everyone all this I guess while threatening them with a shotgun and everyone is just like okay sure. Also even if you stole someone's skin you wouldn't look at all like them. You'd still have your underlying bone structure and shit. Clooneydad, despite being disemboweled with a shotgun, is still alive. Prattdad died from some facial cuts.

Dib: this guy is so edgy.

M: JermaNico is now demanding the box from Emma who says she doesn't have it.

Dib: But she's about to do some epic trolling

B: That moon is so bad. Also we learn that Clooneydad fucked JermaNico's friend's mom? Anyways this is weird. And irrelevant. How is Clooneydad still alive?

I cannot overstate how awful the fake wound looks.

M: Mom asks the first revelant question in an hour. Where is actual Jerma???

Dib: The movie's only an hour long.

B: Why are you like this? Thats a really relevant question.

M: Omfg JermaNico, Jerma literally murdered ppl to help you and you still bag on him. JermaNico is gonna trade everybody left alive to the cenobites for his soul or whatever because that will totally work.

Dib: But Emma stabs him a couple times. He demands Emma open the box. How is this plan gonna work?

B: Your plan has some major flaws my dude. Everything is blue again.

M: CENOBITE TIME. The Lament this time has to like bust a move to open and close.

Dib: Oh there's StevenJerma. He's a cenobite now.

M: The cenobites are so bad. They apparently don't give a shit about a deal, they're just gonna kill everybody for no reason because yanno.

B: The fx are SO bad. *keeps laughing* The dialogue. Why is pinhead yellow??

Pinhead, but with jaundice?

M: You think they could afford lighting?? Now JermaNico is getting all hurt and shit. I'm not sure what the point of any of this is.

Dib: Clooneydad is about to make a huge mistake and shoots JermaNico with the shotgun, very stupid move.

M: Now GreatValue Pinhead is giving a speech and like...they could've altered his voice or like,....anything to help him seem menacing but it's just so bad. He just looks and sounds so stupid. Pinhead continues killing people for no reason.

Dib: This is not how Pinhead rolls.

M: No, there were rules, or some sort of code.

B: this guy is...too expressive. Is that wrong? Doug Bradley was always very stoic and cold as Pinhead this guy keeps tilting his head and stuff and trying to emote a little but not a lot.

M: Clooneydad finally dies, and Emma is gonna open the box again. She has done this like five times. She has learned nothing.

B: Oh and that's the last shot of the movie I guess. Closing...thoughts?

M: No.

B: Ok, fair enough.

Munch and Biscuits out, yo.

#munchflix #review #movie review #hellraiser #pinhead #hellraiser revelations #horror

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james-stark-the-writer · 2 months

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a recycled Hellraiser movie, now with racism and more misogyny and boring sex scenes and even less edge than the worst franchise entries so far! truly awful.

has the artlessness of Star Wars Episode IX and Wrong Turn 5 combined and blended together, painted over with even more empty aesthetic signifiers and franchise iconography, to make a movie with essentially no personality (the greatest crime of a Hellraiser film, even Hellseeker at least had a personality, as derivative and terrible as it was) or creative voice that feels like it goes on forever even though it's barely even 70 minutes without credits.

My ½★ review of Hellraiser: Revelations on Letterboxd

#james talks #hellraiser #Hellraiser Revelations #Hellraiser: Revelations #Hellraiser IX: Revelations #Hellraiser IX #Hellraiser 9 #Hellraiser IX Revelations #letterboxd #movie review #James reviews things #james reviews stuff

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rollforjackass · 9 months

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no but i LOVE 'undercover' queer horror. stuff you grow up with as weird cult classics that are widely regarded as goofy and campy and a little bit terrible but they're no less iconic and then you grow up and learn that the creators are queer and see the story through that lens and understand the specific nexus of trauma and rage and loss and loneliness and otherness and joy and power and passion and love and defiance and radical self-acceptance that feeds every character and monster and shapes everything from their choices to their forms. LOVE that shit.

#i say 'undercover' because i'm sure there's plenty of people who grew up Knowing where these movies came from #understanding the secret queerness of horror and the overlooked histories #but for me growing up not even knowing what gay was?? what trans was??#relating to frankenstein and hellblazer and hellraiser and the haunting and finding out later all the queerness behind it #and just Understanding all at once??#that was magic for me baby that was Revelation #brought to you by watching hellraiser 2022 and thinking about clive barker and jamie clayton love of my life #horror is so near and dear to my heart i'm so passionate about this #oxly hollers

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