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birdlord · 3 years

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Everything I Watched in 2020

We’ll start with movies. The number in parentheses is the year of release, asterisks denote a re-watch, and titles in bold are my favourite watches of the year. Here’s 2019’s list.

01 Little Women (19)

02 The Post (17)

03 Molly’s Game (17)

04 * Doctor No (62)

05 Groundhog Day (93)

06 *Star Trek IV - The Voyage Home (86)

07 Knives Out (19) My last theatre experience (sob)

08 Professor Marston and his Wonder Women (17)

09 Les Miserables (98)

10 Midsommar (19) I’m not sure how *good* it is, but it does stick in the ol’ brain

11 *Manhattan Murder Mystery (93)

12 Marriage Story (19)

13 Kramer vs Kramer (79)

14 Jojo Rabbit (19)

15 J’ai perdu mon corps (19) a cute animated film about a hand detached from its body!

16 1917 (19)

17 Married to the Mob (88)

18 Klaus (19)

19 Portrait of a Lady on Fire (19) If Little Women made me want to wear a scarf criss-crossed around my torso, this one made me want to wear a cloak

20 The Last Black Man in San Francisco (19)

21 *Lawrence of Arabia (62)

22 Gone With the Wind (39)

23 Kiss Me Deadly (55)

24 Dredd (12)

25 Heartburn (86) heard a bunch about this one in the Blank Check series on Nora Ephron, sadly after I’d watched it

26 The Long Shot (19)

27 Out of Africa (85)

28 King Kong (46)

29 *Johnny Mnemonic (95)

30 Knocked Up (07)

31 Collateral (04)

32 Bird on a Wire (90)

33 The Black Dahlia (05)

34 Long Time Running (17)

35 *Magic Mike (12)

36 Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead (07)

37 Cold War (18)

38 *Kramer Vs Kramer (79) yes I watched this a few months before! This was a pandemic friend group co-watch.

39 *Burn After Reading (08)

40 Last Holiday (50)

41 Fly Away Home (96)

42 *Moneyball (11) I’m sure I watch this every two years, at most??

43 Last Holiday (06) the Queen Latifah version of the 1950 movie above, lacking, of course, the brutal “poor people don’t deserve anything good” ending

44 *Safe (95)

45 Gimme Shelter (70)

46 The Daytrippers (96)

47 Experiment in Terror (62)

48 Tucker: The Man and His Dream (88)

49 My Brilliant Career (79) one of the salvations of 2020 was watching movies “with” friends. Our usual method was to video chat before the movie, sync our streaming services, and text-chat while the movie was on.

50 Divorce Italian Style (61)

51 *Gosford Park (01) another classic comfort watch, fuck I love a G. Park

52 Hopscotch (80)

53 Brief Encounter (45)

54 Hud (63)

55 Ocean’s 8 (18)

56 *Beverly Hills Cop (84)

57 Blow the Man Down (19)

58 Constantine (05)

59 The Report (19) maddening!! How are people so consistently terrible to one another!

60 Everyday People (04)

61 Anatomy of a Murder (58)

62 Spiderman: Homecoming (17)

63 *To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (95) Of the 90s drag road movies, Priscilla is more visually striking, but this has its moments.

64 Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (92)

65 *The Truman Show (98)

66 Mona Lisa (86)

67 The Blob (58)

68 The Guard (11)

69 *Waiting for Guffman (96) RIP Fred Willard

70 Rocketman (19)

71 Outside In (18)

72 The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (08) how strange to see a movie that you have known the premise for, but no details of, for over a decade

73 *Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country (91)

74 The Reader (08)

75 Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (19) This was fine until it VERY MUCH WAS NOT FINE

76 The End of the Affair (99) you try to watch a fun little romp about infidelity during the Blitz, and Graham Greene can’t help but shoehorn in a friggin crisis of religious faith

77 Must Love Dogs (05) barely any dog content, where are the dogs at

78 The Rainmaker (97)

79 *Batman & Robin (97)

80 National Lampoon’s Vacation (83) Never seen any of the non-xmas Vacations, didn’t realize the children are totally different, not just actors but ages! Also, this one is blatantly racist!

81 *Mystic Pizza (88)

82 Funny Girl (68)

83 The Sons of Katie Elder (65)

84 *Knives Out (19) another re-watch within the same year!! How does this keep happening??

85 *Scott Pilgrim Vs The World (10) a real I-just-moved-away-from-Toronto nostalgia watch

86 Canadian Bacon (92) vividly recall this VHS at the video store, but I never saw it til 2020

87 *Blood Simple (85)

88 Brittany Runs a Marathon (19)

89 The Accidental Tourist (88)

90 August Osage County (13) MELO-DRAMA!!

91 Appaloosa (08)

92 The Firm (93) Feeling good about how many iconic 80s/90s video store stalwarts I watched in 2020

93 *Almost Famous (00)

94 Whisper of the Heart (95)

95 Da 5 Bloods (20)

96 Rain Man (88)

97 True Stories (86)

98 *Risky Business (83) It’s not about what you think it’s about! It never was!

99 *The Big Chill (83)

100 The Way We Were (73)

101 Safety Last (23) It’s getting so that I might have to add the first two digits to my dates...not that I watch THAT many movies from the 1920s...

102 Phantasm (79)

103 The Burrowers (08)

104 New Jack City (91)

105 The Vanishing (88)

106 Sisters (72)

107 Puberty Blues (81) Little Aussie cinema theme, here

108 Elevator to the Gallows (58)

109 Les Diaboliques (55)

110 House (77) haha WHAT no really W H A T

111 Death Line (72)

112 Cranes are Flying (57)

113 Holes (03)

114 *Lady Vengeance (05)

115 Long Weekend (78)

116 Body Double (84)

117 The Crazies (73) I love that Romero shows the utter confusion that would no doubt reign in the case of any kind of disaster. Things fall apart.

118 Waterlilies (07)

119 *You’re Next (11)

120 Event Horizon (97)

121 Venom (18) I liked it, guys, way more than most superhero fare. Has a real sense of place and the place ISN’T New York!

122 Under the Silver Lake (18) RIP Night Call

123 *Blade Runner (82)

124 *The Birds (62) interesting to see now that I’ve read the story it came from

125 *28 Days Later (02) hits REAL FUCKIN’ DIFFERENT in a pandemic

126 Life is Sweet (90)

127 *So I Married an Axe Murderer (93) find me a more 90s movie, I dare you (it’s not possible)

128 Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (67)

129 The Pelican Brief (93) 90s thrillers continue!

130 Dick Johnston is Dead (20)

131 The Bridges of Madison County (95)

132 Earth Girls are Easy (88) Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum are so hot in this movie, no wonder they got married

133 Better Watch Out (16)

134 Drowning Mona (00) trying for something like the Coen bros and not getting there

135 Au Revoir Les Enfants (87)

136 *Chasing Amy (97) Affleck is the least alluring movie lead...ever? I also think I gave Joey Lauren Adams’ character short shrift in my memory of the movie. It’s not good, but she’s more complicated than I recalled.

137 Blackkklansman (18)

138 Being Frank (19)

139 Kiki’s Delivery Service (89)

140 Uncle Frank (20) why so many FRANKS

141 *National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (89) watching with pals (virtually) made it so much more fun than the usual yearly watch!

142 Half Baked (98) another, more secret Toronto nostalgia pic - RC Harris water filtration plant as a prison!

143 We’re the Millers (13)

144 All is Bright (13)

145 Defending Your Life (91)

146 Christmas Chronicles (18) I maintain that most new xmas movies are terrible, particularly now that Netflix churns them out like eggnog every year.

147 Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse (18)

148 Reindeer Games (00) what did I say about Affleck??!? WHAT DID I SAY

149 Palm Springs (20)

150 Happiest Season (20)

151 *Metropolitan (90) it’s definitely a Christmas movie

152 Black Christmas (74)

THEATRE:HOME - 2:150 (thanks pandemic)

I usually separate out docs and fiction, but I watched almost no documentaries this year (with the exception of Dick Johnston). Reality is real enough.

TV Series

01 - BoJack Horseman (final season) - Pretty damned poignant finish to the show, replete with actual consequences for our reformed bad boy protagonist (which is more than you can say for most antiheroes of Peak TV).

02 - *Hello Ladies - I enjoy the pure awkwardness of seeing Stephen Merchant try to perform being a Regular Person, but ultimately this show tips him too far towards a nasty, Ricky Gervais-lite sort of persona. Perhaps he was always best as a cameo appearance, or lip synching with wild eyes while Chrissy Teigen giggles?

03 - Olive Kittredge - a rough watch by times. I read the book as well, later in the year. Frances Mcdormand was the best, possibly the only, casting option for the flinty lead. One episode tips into thriller territory, which is a shock.

04 - *The Wire S3, S4, S5 - lockdown culture! It was interesting to rewatch this, then a few months later go through an enormous, culture-level reappraisal of cop-centred narratives.

05 - Forever - a Maya Rudolph/Fred Armisen joint that coasts on the charm of its leads. The premise is OK, but I wasn’t left wanting any more at the end.

06 - *Catastrophe - a rewatch when my partner decided he wanted to see it, too!

07 - Red Oak - resolutely “OK” steaming dramedy, relied heavily on some pretty obvious cues to get across its 1980s setting.

08 - Little Fires Everywhere - gulped this one down while in 14-day isolation, delicious! Every 90s suburban mom had that SUV, but not all of them had the requisite **secrets**

09 - The Great - fun historical comedy/drama! Costumes: lush. Actors: amusing. Race-blind casting: refreshing!

10 - The Crown S4 - this is the season everyone lost their everloving shit for, since it’s finally recent enough history that a fair chunk of the viewing audience is liable to recall it happening.

11 - Ted Lasso - we resisted this one for a while (thought I did enjoy the ad campaign for NBC sports (!!) that it was based on). My view is that its best point was the comfort that the men on the show have (or develop, throughout the season) with the acknowledgement and sharing of their own feelings. Masculinity redux.

12 - Moonbase 8 - Goodnatured in a way that makes you certain they will be crushed.

13 - The Good Lord Bird - Ethan Hawke is really aging into the character actor we always hoped he would be!

14 - Hollywood - frothy wish-fulfillment alternate history. I think the show would have been improved immeasurably by skipping the final episode.

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houseofglass · 3 years

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Some thoughts on The Stand, 2021 version on Amazon Prime. There’s spoilers, but dammit the book was released ages ago so buckle up.

I haven’t finished the series yet, I have two episodes left. But this was burning my fingertips so I had to type it out.

I read The Stand by Stephen King back in the late ‘80′s. It was released in 1978 and re-released somewhere around 1990 as an ‘uncut’ edition. The editor had decided to trim the book so it could sell better. My mom looked at the uncut version and said, “If the editor cut 150,000 words, there’s probably a reason.” I agreed with her - Stephen King’s best work was his novellas, not his long novels.

A television series was released in 1994. I thought it was earlier because the character Randall Flagg has a mullet, but nope, IMDB tells me that the above date is correct.

I remember most of the details of the book and series, although the series helped me to see the final battle properly. King didn’t describe it in a way I could understand at all and was confused until the show came out. I felt similar when reading The Handmaid’s Tale. I had no idea what the costume looked like and those hats were nothing like what I imaged from Atwood’s work. I try to keep these examples in mind while writing my own novel.

So when this new iteration of The Stand appeared on my radar, I made a point of watching it. But, alas, there are some problems.

1. Nadine must remain a virgin until she can meet up with Randall. Really? It’s 2021. A person’s virtue is not determined by the use of equipment between their legs. How does remaining a virgin make someone virtuous? Why is she allowed to participate in any other sexual act but not penetration? And why does this only apply to women? Is a man’s virtue intact if he doesn’t insert his penis into someone? No! Why? This also tangles the issue of nonbinary people. What if a woman has a penis but hasn’t used it? Is she virtuous? If a man with a vagina hasn’t used the equipment, is he virtuous? Does this stem from the ancient, outdated idea that people with penises masturbate because they ‘can’t help it’ and people with vaginas don’t because they ‘can help it’?

This might have been okay in 1978, but that was 43 years ago. I need to pause here and clutch my aging heart because I can remember 1978. Whew! Okay.

This virtue bit is core to the show because Nadine must carry Randall’s child. But I feel like this could’ve been tweaked to better represent the times. Especially since the book takes place in the future, not present.

2. Las Vegas features rampant sex. This, in and of itself, doesn’t bother me. I’ve watched Netflix and HBO. I’ve seen sex, both integral to the plot and gratuitous. What bothered me was twofold:

A) The sex featured was public (in a nightclub, but still public) and people wore what could be described as BDSM gear. Lots of belts, black leather, fishnet stockings, lingerie, that kind of thing. This bothered me because they’re portraying ‘nightclub sex’ as something that ‘sinners’ do.

These people are in Las Vegas, on Randall’s side, therefore are the antagonists to the plot. Randall represents the Devil, where Mother Abigail in Boulder represents God. So people who enjoy public sex in a safe environment are sinners? In 2021? Similar question, so people who enjoy BDSM are sinners? In 2021?

B) The implication that if this kind of sex is allowed in Las Vegas, it wouldn’t be in Boulder. There, people have ‘vanilla’ sex, right? Not much is featured, but what is (or what I noticed) was hetero sex. I don’t recall seeing any poly couples in Boulder, or same-sex couples there. Why not? If they are there, why aren’t they more obvious? I tend to notice and am thrilled whenever I see nonbinary people in relationships or two men holding hands, but I didn’t notice it in Boulder.

3. There's a whole lotta white people. Other skin tones were sprinkled in, but not in the quantity I’ve become accustomed to. Since the diversity rider appeared for Canadian shows, I’ve noticed a much wider range of actors and it’s been delightful. I love seeing a First Nations person played by a First Nations actor. I love that I’m shown wonderful hairstyles for kinky hair. I love the intermingling of skin tones in relationships. This has become so normal to me that when there’s too many white people I notice, and not in a good way.

Here’s a sticky point to consider too: if I can’t see the difference in tones because the overall filming filter makes everyone look similar, this is a bad thing.

The main cast of characters is fairly diverse, but the background extras are not. Are they trying to convey the idea that mostly white people survived this plague? That would be insane. If I strain my brain I can recall some extras being on the lighter side of dark tones, but why should I have to strain to remember that? And if my mind is remembering the sea of whiteness, why? Because I’ve set my brain to glance at the background to ensure there’s a nicely diverse crowd, that’s why.

4. The religious aspect is troublesome. Yes, I’m aware that the book was written with religion in mind. The whole story is good vs evil shown by God vs Devil using humanity. I get that. But the Christianity irked me. I’m not religious, but I do know there are more religions out there besides Christianity. None are represented, that I could see. Instead, these characters dream of Randall or Abigail and go to where they feel the greatest pull. Good people go to Abigail, bad people to Randall. And yes, this was fairly well represented by having selfish people go to Randall and those who want a community go to Abigail.

But this is also a problem. No matter how good or bad you are (or think you are), you can change. You can decide to be different. This show pigeonholes people in a way that rankled me, with the one exception of a main character, Harold. He didn’t dream of either person, and was neither good nor bad. He just hadn’t found ‘his people’. I could identify with this facet of his personality because I know my behaviour is weird for some and not normal enough for others. It’s been difficult, trying to fit in to workplaces and friend groups, and is a measure of my neurodiversity and mental illness.

So here’s Harold, trying to be good, but has had a lifetime of not fitting in and not being included. He’s tried and failed. His behaviour is shown as someone who ‘just doesn’t get it’, and people around him tolerate him more than enjoy his company. He tries to be bad, mostly because he’s angry at the world, but he’s also good at heart. When the plague hits, he travels with Nadine to Boulder and joins the body removal crew. He even makes a friend. This tentative, tenuous friendship is torpedoed when Nadine kills the guy.

Harold is neutral, but he discovered the world can be decent. Rather than resolve this and show that there’s a place for everyone, Harold is killed. This bothered me a lot because there are people out there who just need a friend, they need someone who understands them and wants to be around them. Everyone wants that, and some people are gifted with the natural ability to make friends, but some really aren’t. For them, they spend most of their time knowing they’re disliked but not knowing how to fix the problem, or if it can be fixed. Killing this character off felt like a cop-out.

Back to religion. Imagine that you’ve been dreaming of a kind woman named Abigail, so you go to her only to discover that your religion isn’t represented in the imagery, symbolism, or icons. Instead, it’s another religion, equally good, but not yours.

Oh my, also, Las Vegas has no religious imagery that I can recall off the top of my head. There’s no indication of religion other than people nailed to crosses as you enter the city. Does this mean that if you’re religious you’re good and if you’re not you’re bad? In 2021?

This entire debate could have been avoided by not using religion as a base. Yes, it’s faithful to the book to include this aspect, but like I’ve mentioned, it’s 2021 now. Rather than good vs bad = God vs Devil, why not have: people who want to try to live peacefully vs people who want to take over and rule the world? This would be effective when done well.

To conclude, overall the show is not bad. It resembles the book and previous television mini-series quite well. The storyline is a bit current, what with a plague and all, but a lot of it feels so dated that I cringed away from my screen while watching.

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading my rant.

#The Stand #Stephen King #its problematic

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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Elastic Heart - Part 7/10 (Branjie) - Mia Ugly

A/N: I told you I was going to post the rest quickly before the show changed it up too much, so here we are. Thanks again to this amazing group, with its brilliant mods and incomparable writers. And as an aside: I may have some feelings about Dr. Ganache, but she is NOT a villain here. She is a problematic and protective friend. No tea. No shade.

Brock drives to Orlando.

He stops at West Palm Beach, digs his toes into the white sand and then dips them in the ocean. The beach is crowded with tourists (Brock knows that he’s one of them) and he wishes briefly for a wide brimmed hat. He leaves before he can burn too badly, though he takes a couple selfies at the shoreline. Give his manager something to work with at least.

He drives slow along the coast. Around noon he stops at a fresh fruit stand and buys starfruit (for some reason, even though he’s never tasted it, it just seems like the thing to do.) He buys some peaches and a bag of pecans too because the lady at the stand is sweet and nosy and reminds him of his grandmother. Later on, when he finds a pretty place to pull over, he sits on the hood of the rental car and eats the peach, skin and all. It tastes like summer, tastes like being young. Brock took family trips through the Okanagan as a child, can remember the fresh fruit that fell apart in your hands, turned to syrup on your tongue.

In Orlando, he finds a cheap hotel and he naps for a few hours (sleep is precious and rare, a religious icon) before he showers. Dresses in the butchest, most invisible clothing he brought with him (he’s got a lot of options and that’s a bit distressing.) If Jose’s not there, Brock doesn’t really want to be recognized, doesn’t want it to turn into a thing. And if Jose is there, well, he’s seen Brock in a lot worse.

Brock eats the pecans he bought (he needs to google ‘How to eat starfruit’ and decides it’s too much work for the situation) and the other peach. He finds a bar nearby and drinks one drink (just one, he’s got to stay focused) slowly, and alone. No one looks at him. No one recognizes him. The worn grey sweatshirt is apparently doing the fucking trick.

He takes an Uber to Vanjie’s club, because he doesn’t want to worry about driving. There’s a poster of her in the window, dressed in some sort of bejeweled body-suit, and it makes Brock smile. Build your brand, girl (the smile feels unfamiliar on his mouth.)

The bar is crowded. Loud. There’s a DJ playing and crowds of tanned men in tanktops grinding on the dance floor. It makes Brock feel older than he is, and he slinks through the knots of people to get to the bar, squeeze into the inch of available space and order a vodka soda.

He stirs the ice in his drink, and tries to come up with a plan. Jose’s here. He’s here, or he will be here, and Brock can see him. Hear his voice. Just for tonight, and then he’ll leave it all behind him like exhaust fumes.

The drink disappears too quickly, and Brock orders another. He keeps his head down, tries to be inconspicuous. He must give off some kind of heartbroken vibe because no one has the time or energy for him tonight.

He’s glancing around anxiously - wondering when the show will start and whether Jose will make an appearance before then - when someone clears their throat loudly. Leaning up against the bar, only a few handsy drunk guys between them, is Silky fucking Ganache.

Great.

“Miss Brooke Lynn Hytes.” Silky’s in full face, sickening hair, and a purple-sequined mermaid gown. She comes toward Brock, pushing the people between them out of the way as if they were dandelion fluff. “Now what might you be doin’ here?”

Brock should be surprised to see her, but he isn’t. Silky and Jose seem connected at the hip lately, and that’s good. He’s glad Jose has someone he loves close by, someone so clearly protective of him.

Brock air-kisses Silky on each cheek, unenthusiastically.

“Just in the neighbourhood.”

“What neighbourhood is that? Last I heard you were up in Canada, couldn’t cross the border.”

Brock rolls his eyes. “I had a show yesterday. Thought I’d come say hi.”

“Ain’t you sweet. And lookin’ so fine too.” She gives his sweatshirt an understandably critical eye. “The good stuff ain’t started yet, honey, but that’s what it is. Suppose you’re lookin’ for Miss Vanjie.”

Brock doesn’t flinch. He doesn’t.

“Don’t know if she’ll want to see your ass,” Silky continues. “She still tryin’ to get her head right after everything.”

“Yeah. Things got messed up.” Brock stirs at the ice in his drink, wanting to keep his hands busy. “I messed them up.”

“You don’t got to tell me that.” The expression on her face leaves Brock with no question as to what Silky thinks of him, and that’s fine. Or - understandable anyway.

“Is she backstage?”

“Nah, baby, she left already. Canceled her appearance, went off with some fine piece of ass. She probably off sucking his dick in a car somewhere.”

Brock almost drops his drink. A part of him wishes he had; the sound of breaking glass could’ve drowned out all the other things that are breaking.

But then he hears a laugh across the crowded bar, a laugh that he would recognize anywhere - ninety years old and deaf and blind, he would still know Vanjie’s laugh by the way it raised goosebumps on his skin.

“Or did she?” Silky frowns. “Oops, my bad.”

Brock looks in the direction of the laugh, a group of people that have just emerged from the green room. For a moment he can’t see anyone clearly - and then Vanjie’s blonde bombshell wig catches the lights, and he can see her face. Clearly, for the first time in months. She’s smiling and has some kind of silvery lipstick on, and to cross the floor to get to her would probably take him thirty seconds.

But.

But she’s leaning into someone, a muscular dark-haired guy with tattoos winding up his arms. She’s smiling as she looks at him, as she moves closer, as her lips find the corner of his mouth.

(He knew, of course. Yvie told him. He’d heard rumours online. He thought that forewarning would take some of the bite out of seeing it in person, but he was wrong. There are teeth at his throat, all of them filed into points.)

“You think she wants any of your sad-boy bullshit right now?” Silky snorts. “I dunno. Seems to be having herself a good time.”

Brock holds his breath. Plays out all the ways this could go. Vanjie hasn’t seen him yet, and her smile is wide and white-toothed. If he crosses the floor right now, he knows that smile will drop, that her eyes will go hard, that her back will stiffen. He could go over there, cross the floor and have her within hands reach. He could touch her shoulder (Brock’s heart might live behind walls, but his body does not) and completely ruin her night.

But she looks beautiful. She looks happy.

“She ain’t even spotted your ass yet. You ain’t got to cause no drama.” Silky looks between Brock and Vanjie, eyes narrowed. “Tell you what, why don’t you run along, Miss Brooke Lynn? She don’t even got to know you were here.”

Brock gives Silky a flat look. The two of them aren’t friends, won’t ever be friends, but they have one thing desperately in common. That one thing cuts through all the bullshit, right through to the bone.

“How’s she doing?” Brock asks, and Silky shrugs.

“She fine as hell, what you want me to say? She getting on with it. She got her girls looking out for her.”

“How are you doing?”

Silky laughs. “Just waitin’ around to collect my prize money. Baby, you should see me in a crown.”

Silky might be convinced of her certain victory, but she’s as in the dark as everyone else. Brock didn’t know until he got to Drag Race that production films multiple endings for the series, that the top queens don’t find out who wins until the last episode airs.

Of course, it could never be said that Silky lacks in confidence.

“Will you - tell her I was here? That I didn’t want to interrupt her.”

“Nah, bitch. You in her head too much already, and I ain’t your messenger.”

Across the bar, Vanjie laughs - loud and gravelly and gorgeous. Brock wishes he could capture that laugh like a jar full of fireflies and keep it. Visit it whenever he got tired, whenever he forgot that there were good things in the world, and once he had been part of one.

There’s maybe forty feet between Brock and Vanjie. It feels like an ocean (but she looks happy. What more can he ask for?)

“Take care of yourself,” Brock says to Silky. “See you on tour.”

“How will I ever survive the wait?” Silky waves him away. “Yeah, go on home, Brooke. We good here.”

And it’s only because Brock can’t bear to see the smile fall from Vanjie’s face. It’s only because he didn’t let her know he was coming, and doesn’t want to surprise her and throw off her act. It’s only because she’s running her hands over another man’s shoulders with those dark, smoky eyes she gets sometimes - that’s the only reason Brock leaves.

He isn’t afraid.

He calls himself the worst sorts of names as he gets a ride back to his hotel. Then he raids the minibar and tells himself it’s all for the best.

He got to see her. She looked beautiful (but she always looks beautiful) and happy. That’s all he can ask for.

Nina has texted him twice since that morning.

“Brock?”

And then: “BROCK???”

Brock wants to drink some more vodka and then blissfully pass out.

Instead.

He phones a friend.

* * *

So.

There’s a music video challenge, and Brooke Lynn bombs it. It’s not as bad as Snatch Game, but she’s nowhere close to the talent of A’Keria and Silky, and Yvie’s not as strong but she’s better than Brooke. Brooke’s gotten in her head again, hearing that voice on repeat telling her she’s not funny, she’s awkward, she’s letting people down (this is for the Top Five WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING -)

So. She’s prepared to lip sync. It’s not like the last time, the time against Yvie. Today she knows with one hundred percent certainty that it’s coming.

And she knows she’s going to be up against Vanjie. The great moment of television that Yvie predicted is finally here. Give us all a fucking Emmy.

Vanjie is struggling with even the mini-challenges lately, and Brooke is trying to convince herself that it’s not her fault. They haven’t spoken privately since that night in Vanjie’s room (and that was a fucking mistake but Brooke still is having trouble regretting it. She wanted her. She still wants her. And fuck, it wasn’t the right time but Brooke would get on her knees for Vanjie in the middle of the werkroom if the other queen asked. Which she won’t, but.

Brooke would do it.)

There’s defeat in Vanjie’s eyes now, like she’s waiting to get called out by the judges, like it’s inevitable that she’ll be the next one sent home. Even though she’s survived two lip syncs already, even though she’s changed up her silhouette so Michelle can’t keep reading her - Vanjie’s not having fun anymore. From the outside looking in at least (and Brooke is certainly on the outside now) it seems like she isn’t.

Did Brooke do that? Or was it just the show? As the production keeps going, Brooke feels her own spark dimming as well. She wants to celebrate each elimination that she survives, but she’s also really fucking tired and - she’s in it until the end, of course, but she’s glad that the end is in sight.

So.

Top Five.

They leave the runway while the judges deliberate. Vanjie doesn’t say a word, just walks off on her own with her earbuds in. A’Keria gives Brooke an anxious look before she follows her.

Brooke gets a cocktail, drinks it too fast.

She knows tonight’s song by heart, has danced to it before. She waits until A’Keria comes back to the couch, whispers something in Silky’s ear before raising an eyebrow at Brooke.

“You better have a word with your girl,” A’Keria says. “She ain’t right.”

She’s not my girl, Brooke wants to say, but she also wishes that it were true. She wishes Vanjie was hers, that they’d met somewhere normal and boring and didn’t have all this extra shit in between them. It would have been different then. Brooke would have been different, not so in her head, not so reserved. They would have been able to touch and fuck and spend time alone like normal people.

They might have made it. Could have made it.

Brooke resists the urge to build a pillow fort when all she wants to do is bury herself, so deep she disappears. Instead, she gets off the couch and goes after Vanjie.

The impossible object of Brooke’s affections is sitting at the mirrors, eyes closed and earbuds in. She looks like a scene from a painting, a still from a classic black-and-white movie. Brooke puts a hand on her shoulder to get her attention (and they both pretend they don’t notice her flinch.)

When Vanessa opens her eyes, they’ve got that dark, glassy look that Brooke recognizes. It’s the same look she had when Yvie suddenly turned on her in the backstage lounge, all those nights ago. It’s the look she had after the Snatch Game, when Ru told Brooke she was up for elimination. It’s pain and surprise, swirled together like ink.

“You doing okay?” Brooke asks.

Vanessa takes out one of her earbuds and nods, tightly. She doesn’t look at Brooke.

“And you’re ready?”

The other queen takes a deep breath before she answers. “I ain’t gonna let you off easy just cuz you’re pretty.”

Brooke laughs, startled, and the corner of Vanjie’s mouth curls. It’s like they’re okay for a minute, like they’re back on the beach, that sunny afternoon when Brooke first realized that her heart was not her own anymore. That it had somehow stretched itself into Vanjie’s hands, wound around her fingers.

For a minute, it’s like that.

“I wish I’d met you earlier,” Brooke says because she has to, because the words are burning through her throat. “At a club or something. Not here.”

She won’t cry, she tells herself. She can’t cry.

“Well. What you gonna do?” Vanjie still has her eyes fixed on the mirror, fussing with her wig (her hands are shaking). “Gotta go out there and do what you do best, bitch. It’s what you came here for.”

“That was before-“

“Before what? Before you met me? Don’t expect me to believe that Miss Brooke Lynn.” Vanjie finally looks at her, a hint of her old self bleeding through the armour she’s put on. “You’re here for a crown. So go and get it.” She gives Brooke a stare that’s part challenge, part longing, and all heartache. “If you think you can.”

Brooke swallows around the tightness in her throat. Then she nods (when what she really wants to do is take Vanjie’s hand and pull her out of her chair, kick down the door and get out of this studio. Fight off the P.A.s, find a cab, go to LAX, run the fuck away. Together. Leave this all behind and start over.)

“Kill it,” she says instead. “Show ‘em why they brought you back.”

“You know I fucking will.” Vanjie puts her earbud back in, goes back to her own world.

Brooke doesn’t dare touch her again, and walks away to a separate corner of the lounge. She realizes suddenly that the other girls are quiet. Even Silky. There’s none of the shouting and laughing that usually fills the air backstage. When they talk, it’s almost in whispers. It feels more like a funeral than a reality show.

Brooke puts her earbuds in, turns up the volume. She can taste her heart thumping in her throat. She told herself she wouldn’t get distracted. This thing with Vanjie wouldn’t become a problem.

And now the moment has come. And it’s so much more than just a problem.

In her ear Sia sings: “And another one bites the dust. Oh why can I not conquer love?”

Brooke loves this fucking song. She doesn’t need to practice; she knows exactly what she’s going to do.

Go out there on that stage and slay.

Go out there and break her own heart.

(If she had met Vanjie in a club, she would have heard her before she saw her.

She would have clocked that laugh immediately and thought up a million reasons to go talk to her. If she had met her at a club, Brooke would have bought her a drink and asked if she wanted to get out of there ten minutes later. She would have taken her to the beach, to a bookstore, to the park, to a thrift shop. She would have wanted to hear her voice and ask her questions - how did you start doing drag? What’s your favourite song? What were your grandparents like? Who was the first person that broke your heart?

What keeps you up at night? Who are you when your paint is off and the lights go down and you’re alone at home and tired? Who do you think about? What were your pets named? How do you feel about cats?

If she had met Vanjie in a club, they would have talked about Monique Heart in AllStars, and the miracle of seeing Latrice live, and how Drag Race could be problematic AF but make a queen’s career. Change their life. How they’d give anything to get on it.

If she had met Vanjie anywhere else, Brooke would have still wanted her.)

It hits her like a punch, driving the wind from her lungs. Vanessa had told her to figure out what she wanted. And at last - Brooke has.

Just when everything’s about to fall apart, Brooke has.

“I’ve got thick skin and an elastic heart

but your blade it might be too sharp.”

“Five minutes,” a P.A. calls, and the other queens start to get their heels back on, finish the last sips of their cocktails.

Yvie pats her on the shoulder as she walks by. “It’s you and me in the Top Two, girl. Deal with it.”

Even Yvie’s encouragement comes off as a bit threatening, but the consistency is enough to make Brooke smile.

This is it.

She intercepts Vanessa before she goes back onstage. They stand inches apart, breathing in each other’s air. They do not touch.

(“Hi Papi.”)

(“Shoulda known you’d be a Pisces.”)

(“Y’had something on your face, Hytes.”)

(“I like the way you are.”)

“Hello, hello, hello Miss Brooke Lynn,” Vanessa says finally and Brooke swallows a laugh that might be a sob.

“Miss Vaaaanjie.”

“I’ma hold you to that Oliver Garden dinner,” Vanessa smiles wide but her eyes are shining. “You made a promise, ho, you ain’t done with me.”

Brooke shakes her head ‘no’ (will she ever be done with Vanessa? She can’t imagine a world where that would be possible, where she could look at Vanjie and not fall utterly to pieces.)

Brooke holds out her hand. Vanjie looks at it a bit dubiously before she takes it. Their fingers lace as if they never were apart.

They’re still holding hands when they go back to the mainstage.

After it’s announced that they’re both up for elimination, Ross Matthews starts covertly wiping away tears. It’ll make for a great episode, Brooke thinks, and wishes that the voice in her head didn’t sound so bitter.

“Brooke Lynn Hytes. Vanessa Vanjie Mateo. The time has come for you to lip-synch for. Your. Life.”

Brooke can feel Vanessa’s pulse fluttering like a bird against her fingertips. She’s terrified, Brooke realizes.

Brooke is too.

(“You be careful girl.” A’Keria’s voice rings from somewhere in the background of her memories.

“You know what you’re doing?” Yvie is scowling at her on the beach, and Brooke swallows down every instinct she has that’s screaming “NO.”)

“Good luck. And don’t fuck it up.”

Brooke lets Vanjie’s hand slide from her grasp. It feels like saying goodbye.

And the music plays.

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #branjie #smut #angst #canon compliant #eventual happy ending #elastic heart #mia ugly #tw alcohol #concrit welcome #submission #on set fic #s11

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skarletterambles · 5 years

Text

Mummy re-(re-re-re-)watch blog

Because sometimes self-care is rewatching your favorite movie for the first time in many years, I’m currently enjoying The Mummy (1999) on a nice big flat screen TV and eating pizza. Life is good.

Random thoughts typed while watching (so expect typos) below...

[Disclaimers: Obviously, this post contains massive spoilers for a 20-year-old movie, if anyone actually needs to be told that. There are spoilers for The Mummy Returns, as well. Also, I’m an unapologetic Imhotep fangirl so don’t expect me to talk about him like he’s some kind of villain. That’s just silly! Ahem. I have the hots for Rick and Ardeth, too, though, so the drool will be spread out a bit.]

..............................

Imhotep’s priests really got the raw end of the deal. They were just there to watch the door and make sure nobody interrupted their boss’ booty call, and they ended up witnessing regicide and then getting mummified alive. Dang.

I bet the noise of the battle with all those horses and guns above him irritated Imhotep. No wonder he sent sand jets up to scare away Rick and the others. Damn kids, get off my lawn--er, necropolis!

Honestly, the havoc Evy wreaked on her library only made it look slightly worse than my workplace this summer. :p At least she didn’t have to worry about DVD shelving... [Only I get this reference, but trust me, to me it’s hilarious, in a “if I don’t laugh I’ll cry” kind of way.]

Rick is damn good-looking when he’s all bedraggled and beat up, and even better looking when he cleans up. The look on Evy’s face when she sees him after a haircut and a change of clothes, well... Same, girl. Same.

Beni is one of my favorite comic relief characters of all time.

The Med-Jai wouldn’t have threatened Evy on the boat if they knew she was the reincarnation of their long-dead boss’ daughter. I’m picturing Seti in the afterlife facepalming...

I had forgotten how hostile and scary the Med-Jai were at first.

It’s amazing how much of the dialogue comes back to me, though. Even throwaway background lines like Jonathan complaining about the price of the camels.

Evy’s sheer joy over everything camel-related is so freaking adorable.

That first chitter of scarab beetles...my least favorite part of the movie. Heh.

I can just imagine Imhotep in his sarcophagus, feeling the first hint of movement around him in over 3,000 years, and then freaking out as his sarcophagus falls through the ceiling and goes THUMP on the ground. And then there’s screaming and everyone leaves. He’d be like, WTF?

“He must have been someone of great importance...or someone who did something very naughty.” Both correct, Evy...

It’s so not fair that Ardeth can be that drop-dead sexy-looking and have such a sexy voice.

And here’s that “I...AM A LIBRARIAN!” line that everyone in my line of work loves so much. Heehee...

Mummy: *bursts out of sarcophagus* Evy: “Gah, I hate it when these things do that!” LMAO

Of course Imhotep scratched “Death is only the beginning” into the inside of his sarcophagus lid like a bored emo kid in study hall.

“If you dry that fella out you might be able to sell ‘im for firewood!” As I’m sure the writers knew, they actually did burn mummies to fuel trains back in less enlightened times. And grind them up for medicine and paint and all kinds of stupid, disrespectful things.

I love how they refer to Imhotep as “our friend” and “our guy” when they’re discussing how horrible his curse was. That sympathy fades quickly enough once they meet him, though.

“Probably got a little too frisky with the Pharaoh’s daughter.” No, Rick, that’s you. Bwahahahaha!

“No harm ever came from reading a book.” Evy, you’re a librarian. You should know better.

Poor Imhotep must have been so stiff after not moving for a few thousand years. I bet he had to do some stretches before he went looking for people to drain life force from.

Forecast for today: mostly sunny with a 90% chance of locust plague.

Gotta love Imhotep’s one-track mind. Woke up for the first time in 3k years, just regained sight and speech, and the first freaking thing he does is assume the first woman he sees is Anck-su-Namun. Because of course he does.

I wonder if Ardeth got any backlash from the rest of the Med-Jai for giving the interlopers a chance to leave Hamunaptra. If he had just slaughtered them all the previous night, none of this mess would have happened.

“He will never eat. He will never sleep. He will never stop.” Awwwwwyeah.

Because he looks so rotted, Imhotep looks threatening as he slowly advances on Beni, but if he was fully regenerated I bet his expression would have been confused and even slightly amused at Beni’s religious roulette, something along the lines of “WTF is this idiot doing?”

Imhotep, did you really need to wear a mask to meet a blind guy? (I know, I know, he needed the disguise to get through the hotel, but it’s still funny.)

He was even polite enough to thank Evy for saving him from undeath. What a nice mummy!

Med-Jai discussing Imhotep and Anck-su-Nam: “Even after 3,000 years, he’s still in love with her.” Evy: “Well, that’s all very romantic, but...” Me: “Yes. Yes it is. Shut up.”

“You came back from the desert with a new friend, didn’t you, Beni?” One of my all-time favorite lines, and one I randomly quoted to my late goldfish, Benny, many times over the years. LOL

Couldn’t Beni have found some better clothes for Imhotep to wear? Those ragged robes make him look like a beggar. Although considering he was running around in nothing but a few wisps of rotten bandages before, they couldn’t afford to be choosy.

The casual way Imhotep chews that scarab beetle that crawled into his mouth is such a power move. LMAO

The longing in his voice as he whispers Anck-su-Namun’s name almost makes up for the fact that he kissed Evy right afterward. I know you’re impatient to get your girlfriend back, man, but control yourself. :p

Another classic bit: Evy, trying to translate hieroglyphics: “Patience is a virtue!” Rick, looking at incoming torch-bearing mob: “Not right now it isn’t!”

The crowds chanting “Im-ho-tep” are so iconic, and the way they part to let him pass gives me shivers.

“It’s the creature!” Thanks for the reminder, as he’s now fully regenerated and looking damn fine.

OMG that little smirk Imhotep gives to Rick as he turns to walk away with Evy... Imhotep isn’t stupid. He can see Rick’s in love with her.

Ardeth wearing that flight cap and goggles, grinning as he rides on the plane’s wing, is the funniest damn thing in the movie. It’s such a departure from his usual demeanor, which is what makes it work so well from a comedic perspective.

Why did Imhotep stop the sand vortex so far from Hamunaptra? He could have deposited himself, Beni, and Evy on the doorstep, but instead he stopped on the other end of the valley. I mean, sure, it gives plenty of room for the famous sand wall attack scene, but it was still weird.

Evy: “Stop it! You’ll kill them!” Beni: “That’s the idea.” Well...YEAH!

Beni to Imhotep: “I loved the, uh, sand wall trick, it was beautiful. Bastard.” That’s funny enough, and then you remember that Imhotep doesn’t understand English, and it’s even funnier. Stop trying to brown-nose a man who doesn’t speak your language, Beni!

The whole Winston subplot always seemed so pointless. Just deus ex machina to get the airplane in there. Honestly, that’s my only complaint about the movie.

Yeah, Imhotep, you had better bow back when your newly-risen priests bow to you. You owe them big time after the shitstorm you dragged them into.

OMG Ardeth is even more gorgeous in the glow of gold artifacts. Heehee...

And then some of Imhotep’s priests barely rise from the ground before being mowed down by machine gun fire. Damn, they get the short end of the stick every time, don’t they?

One second I’m like, “Oh hai Anck. You need to moisturize better, lawl,” and then the next Imhotep strokes her face with such tenderness and whispers her name and I’m like, “Awwwww!” That’s what’s so much fun about these movies. There’s the silly, campy fun intertwined with actually poignant, emotional moments, in perfect balance.

I just noticed that Anck-Su-Namun’s reaction to being resurrected both in the prologue and later as a mummy was the same gasp and fluttering of her hands over her collarbone. Neat detail.

There’s this little glimmer of “Whoa, cool, I did that!” sometimes when Imhotep uses his powers. It’s adorable. (Yes, I just called an undead plague-bringer summoning mummified soldiers to kill his enemies “adorable.” I warned you in the disclaimer.)

I love how Anck-su-Namun’s first response when waking up was to try to beat the crap out of Evelyn/Nefertiri. Old habits die hard, y’know. She was probably disappointed that her opponent didn’t remember the old ways of combat...yet.

I hate that poor Imhotep had to watch the love of his life be killed in silhouette twice.

And again he promises, “Death is only the beginning.”

Then it’s time for one last moment of Ardeth being hot beyond all reason, some Rick and Evy kisses, Jonathan getting a face full of camel breath, and a happy ending for at least those four characters. ;)

The end...for now!

#the mummy

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