Why does it take hours to write the appeal? What's in the appeal? What's the "asylum agency", are they lawyers as well?

The "asylum agency" are the Bundesamt für Migration und Flüchtlinge (BAMF for short), it's the German Federal department for (among other things) vetting asylum claims. There are a lot of lawyers (as in, Juristen = people with a law degree) working there, but it's a normal administration job.

Basically in the German asylum system you first fill out an "Asylantrag" (asylum claim). In this you say where you come from and why you think you should be entitled to protection in Germany (both actual asylum - which refers to people who are personally persecuted - as well as subsidiary protection, which applies to people fleeing from general humanitarian disasters such as war).

Then the BAMF checks your asylum claim. Here is a very good English-language longform article by the Atlantic detailing how the BAMF works and what methods they use. Then they make a decision (Bescheid), which either accepts or rejects the claim (appealing it means you refuse to accept their ruling and try to overturn it).

There's TONS of problems with this. Even legitimate refugees often don't tell the truth or do so in a way that is contradictory bc we're talking about usually super traumatized ppl getting like half an hour to tell the absolute worst and often most intimate parts of their lives to a total stranger and THEN these total strangers judge whether they believe that or not.

And they can be super and I mean SUPER unfair about this. For example for the guy whose appeal I wrote today (let's call him F.), he was asked to describe his situation and he said he knew three other gay guys in his city, that they were the only people who knew about his sexuality and that they all were still closeted and still in Iraq. He gives detailed descriptions their meet-ups, their conversations, generally how they lived (it's literally all in the hearing transcript). The interviewer asked for their names. F. said their first names. The interviewer asked for their full names. F. said he doesn't know them.

In the Bescheid, it says among other things "F. was unable to give details including basic information such as names about the people who supposedly were members of the social group of people who shared his oppression. True accounts of persecution are often characterised by the fact that they are very detailed. His claim is therefore not substantiated."

We're talking about an 18-year old gay kid who just fled a country where he legitimately feared for his life because of his sexuality and who basically had to keep this part of himself secret his whole life, in a conversation with a complete stranger in a position of authority. Of course the fact that he didn't give the full names of his closest friends who still lived in that country in that situation must mean he's lying.

It also says it's contradictory and therefore unbelievable that the father would inform another family member about his son's sexuality because the fact that this would bring dishonor to the family means the father would have kept it a secret. (The "conversation" was the father convincing other male family members to join in and kill him - something which happens regularly in the country if you read up on literally any source dealing with LGBT Iraqis - often even clerics get involved to issue fatwas against them).

All in all, even if he was gay, he should have considered living anonymously in a different part of Iraq rather than come to Germany.

And what takes hours is to dig up reputable and up-to-date sources detailing the status of gay men in Iraq (Here is a heartbreaking report by Human Rights Watch btw), especially concerning the different regions of Iraq (Iraqi Kurdistan for example is considered more liberal when it comes to religion, so religious minorities from Iraq just get told to move to Iraqi Kurdistan instead. However, this does NOT apply to sexuality).

Then you try to pad that with other German court decisions abt gay men in Iraq (unfortunately it's mostly lower administrative court decisions, which don't hold much weight - but the VAST majority of them accept gay men from Iraq as legitimate refugees. There's also an ECJ ruling that says gay refugees can not be expected to hide their sexuality in their country of origin, as that would not be expected of straight refugees either and therefore would be discrimination, that's why his chances are quite good bc the Bescheid literally expected that of him) The LSVD has a REALLY great compilation for all sort of different countries of origin.

And then you have to take apart the whole bullshit Bescheid, point out the logical flaws, add other stuff the refugee told you and try to come with proofs for that etc.

It takes A LOT of work.

[ENG translation] Rock'n'roll in the blood

An interview with the Guštin family in Slovenian newspaper Delo, originally published 6.2.2022.

Original article is available here for Delo subscribers. Original article written by Agata Rakovec Kurent for Delo; photos by Jože Suhadolnik; English translation by a member of Joker Out Subs, native proof reading by IG GBoleyn123.

If you repost quotes from the interview, please link back to this post! And if you repost the photos, do not crop out the photographer credit.

Next Saturday (12.2.2022), Gušti and young singer Leyre will present themselves at EMA¹, but first, we visited him and his family in Bežigrad².

The Guštins (right to left) Chantal, Maja, Kris, Miha and Maks, were all happily rolling around the house during lockdowns and having a pretty nice time. PHOTO: Jože Suhadolnik/Delo

Just as I was looking at the names on the doorbells and considering calling Gušti about whether I was even at the right address in Bežigrad, the last of the five family members, Kris, came hurrying home. Actually, there are six family members, alongside Chantal and Gušti and their kids Kris, Maks and Maja, there is also Apple the dog, who greeted me with loud barking. Dogs remain with their parents even when the kids start to leave the nest, we agreed as we sat down at a big wooden table.

For musician Gušti and Chantal Van Mourik from the Netherlands, everything started with a teenage seaside romance. After that, nothing happened for ten years, but when Gušti wrote Big Foot Mama's big hit Črni tulipan, he could not imagine anyone other than his teenage love in the music video. He invited her to the filming, she came, and the rest is history. Three decades and three children later, their first-born Kris is following his dad's footsteps as the guitarist of Joker Out, the most popular band among the Slovenian youth right now.

We all know Miha 'Gušti' Guštin as Big Foot Mama's guitarist and the writer of their biggest hits. 20 years ago, he went his own way, musically, and recorded his first solo album Dolce Vita, where his successful collaboration with Polona Kasal³ started. He also did a memorable duet with Zagreb resident Ema Gagro, but let's start at the end.

If not for the good song, then for the laughter…

Next Saturday, we'll see something completely new at EMA, as he has joined forces with young singer Leyre⁴. How did they find each other? "People have been hinting that I should sign up for EMA for years and years and I never did, but this time I told myself that I would sign up if I found a truly good vocalist.

Producer Žare and I started looking, and through Dušan Obradinovič - Obre, drummer of the band Dan D, we got to Leyre. Leyre is Spanish by birth, she came to Slovenia when she was two years old. She's from Novo mesto, she is 19 years old and studies in Ljubljana. It's a one-time musical collaboration, just for EMA, so that I can finally have an answer for everyone who has been asking me for years: 'Why don't you sign up once?'" explains Gušti.

His family, especially Chantal and Kris, were initially pretty sceptical about this endeavour. Because it's a circus, because it's always said to be "rigged"?

"No, not because it's rigged, but because I thought that dad had slight misconceptions about what you can achieve with a song at EMA. My reservation was that if you go to EMA with a bad song, it falls through, no one remembers it, and it all doesn't seem worth the effort to me. Of all the songs that have been on EMA, 95 percent have sunk into oblivion, and I didn't want something like that to happen to dad.

Once we talked things through, however, and especially once I heard the song, I supported him, just like mum did. If you go to EMA, you have to win, otherwise it all passes you by, that's my opinion," says Kris.

Is Eurovision as much of a circus in the Netherlands as it is here? "It used to be, but now it's not like that anymore. For the past few years, they haven't even had a pre-selection. There's a committee that picks the performer who then represents the country at Eurovision. As for Miha, I think it's great that he signed up. The song is fantastic and the singer is truly exceptional.

On the other hand, I find it all amusing. I know Miha, and Miha is not about make-up and image, but with EMA all of that matters, the sound and the look are a package and it's absolutely not just about the song. That part, the fact that Miha is going to clothes fittings, is greatly amusing to everyone in the family," Chantal laughs.

Next Saturday, they will all keep their fingers crossed for Gušti and Leyre at EMA. Photo: Jože Suhadolnik/Delo

So did Gušti have a particularly shiny tuxedo made for EMA? "The styling will absolutely be appropriate for the event. I turned to a stylist, we just ordered everything, but I will wear a nice, elegant suit, which will still be rock chic."

The youngest members of the family, Maks and Maja, are smirking as their dad talks about rock chic. How interested is their generation in EMA anyway? "I don't know, I never asked my friends about it," is the concise answer of the youngest, seventh grader Maja, who is great at artistic gymnastics, as well as being the most artistically talented in the family.

"To be honest, I don't watch it and I'm not very interested in these things, but I will definitely watch it when dad performs, if not for the good song, then for the laughter," Maks' honesty makes everyone present laugh loudly.

History is repeating itself

Kris, who just graduated in chemical engineering, was not too enthusiastic about Big Foot Mama or Gušti's later solo projects at first.

"Everything changed when I got involved in music myself, when the summer before my first year of high school, I took up the guitar. At ten or twelve years old, I listened to what was playing on the radio, and that wasn't like the music that dad was making, so his music didn't interest me. In time, when I started discovering more complex music, rock, I started to enjoy his stuff.

My friends, who I'm still in a band with, introduced me to Big Foot Mama's music and tried to convince me that Črni tulipan was a totally awesome song. Then, for a while, I was like 'Oh, awesome, dad!' At first I didn't even care that he had been with the Big Foots, then I couldn't believe that he had left the band, it seemed horrible to me, but now I completely understand why he did it, and I really like what he's done since leaving," he tells us.

Chantal used to watch fans screaming in front of Big Foot Mama's stage, now she can relive those scenes at her son's concerts. "The screaming never bothered me, I always thought it was fun and interesting to watch. Nowadays, Miha and I often talk about how we're experiencing the same moments from another perspective.

Where Miha used to stand on stage, Kris now stands, where I used to stand in front of the stage as his girlfriend, we now stand together, but everything else is the same - the music, people screaming, girls going crazy, all that. I think that's great and I couldn't be more proud of Kris, of his band, and of course also of Miha and everything they achieved back then. We do sometimes truly feel like history is repeating itself, though."

However, some things did change from the time Gušti was starting out in music to today. Social media arrived, and these days, if you're not on it - you don't exist. "My kids and wife help me with social media, I'm not very good at it. Before they help me out, they always explain how clueless I am and that I should engage with it more and get with the times.

I'm not interested in these things, I can't find my footing in this world, but I know that it has to exist. I have Instagram, Facebook, and after they get done criticising me, everyone helps me out," says Gušti, while Chantal adds: "We have to help him to prevent something worse."

Apple the dog will also keep her paws crossed for Gušti at EMA next Saturday. Photo: Jože Suhadolnik/Delo

Joker Out take care of the social media themselves; "we have the natural advantage of having grown up with this, and it is unfortunately an integral part of the music scene today. We couldn't achieve much without Instagram. Well, after Facebook, Instagram is also almost 'out' now, so we have to start thinking about TikTok, which seems horrible to me," Kris tells us.⁵

His younger brother Maks is also part of Joker Out's story as a roadie. "It started with me helping the roadie, bringing water, putting away the cables and so on. Of course they didn't pay me, it was all in the family. Then I took over the merch, selling T-shirts and other things, which is pretty fun, it's a lot of work, but it pays off," he tells us, while Kris laughs, adding sarcastically: "Well, it doesn't pay off for him, because we still don't pay him."

Joker Out released an album (Umazane misli) recently, while Gušti says about his new one: "To me, having released quite a few albums already, the most important thing is that there is music. And there is music, I release a single or two every year, and once there's enough of them, there will also be an album. When that will happen, I don't know. Since I've never sung, I'm still figuring out the best direction for my vocals.

To put it bluntly…

Even before the pandemic, which devastated our music industry as well, Gušti and Siddharta's singer Tomi Meglič already found a recipe for these weird times, a cycle of 1on1 concerts: "During the Covid times, Tomi and I had 30 gigs, which was probably by far the most among all Slovenian performers. Seated, distanced gigs were possible. They were very well-attended before Covid already, and then it just kept going.

To put it bluntly, we were lucky bastards. It was just a pity that we couldn't put as many seats up for sale as usual and the pay reflected that, but at least we could play." I already joked with Tomi in a recent Nedelo interview that the format suits Siddharta's and Gušti's aging audience, who - judging by myself - finds it harder and harder to stand for two hours and longer. Gušti laughs: "It's true that it's mostly people our age who come, faithful fans of Siddharta and Big Foot Mama, there aren't many young people."

Putting together the repertoire gave them a lot of trouble, because together - they have too many hits. "At the beginning, the format was 14 songs with an encore, seven of his, seven of mine, which we immediately filled up. I chose his hits, he chose mine. The problems are arising now when we should freshen it up, but we don't want to lose any of the songs." At the end of March, the 31st, Gušti is also planning a solo concert in SiTi Theatre with a new team. "I will do a half unplugged, half electric version, and I will keep that up afterwards."

Unlike Gušti, the Jokers were hit by the crisis at the start of their musical journey. "At first, we planned to release the album on the 1st of April 2020, with a concert in Cvetličarna following on the 9th of April. A month before, everything closed down and fell apart. We rescheduled everything for May, then for October, and finally for next October. We also rescheduled the album release. Firstly because we weren't completely happy with it yet, and we also didn't see the point in releasing it, only us not to be seen anywhere for a year and a half.

Then people would come to a concert and wonder where anything new was, because they would already know everything. In a way, we were happy to delay everything. That way, a lot of the pressure was released, or stretched out over a longer period of time.

Covid seemed very inconvenient at first, we felt like we fell off the horse, but when we look back, it was a very productive time for us. We made some radical changes, in the music, in the line-up and in our way of thinking, and it shows. The tension was mounting before the concerts in Cvetličarna⁶ and that's why they were much more cathartic in the end," says Kris.

They have just renovated their rehearsal space and started working on the new album, which they have promised for September. That is also when they're planning a big concert in Križanke, before that they have summer concerts, including some outside of our borders. "We will try to get a gig in Serbia, and we will also release a song in Serbian."

The damage that was done to the music industry is huge, despite some bright exceptions. "The consequences will drag on for years. A huge part of the industry fell apart, and many found work elsewhere. Not musicians, not the people we see on stage, but the people in the background, as well as those who worked for publishers, in the distribution chain..." Chantal reflects.

A nomad in the house

Because of the uncertain situation, she hasn't visited her homeland for two years. "Maja and I are hoping that we can finally travel there on the 17th of February, so we're already half in isolation. The last time we were planning to go there was in September, but then Kris got sick, and then I did too. I'm hoping and knocking on wood that we can finally do it. In the meantime, my sister visited us twice, and at one point, Transavia also cancelled the flight connection between Ljubljana and Amsterdam, and I would've sooner made it around the world than to Amsterdam."

Kris visited his Dutch relatives, as well as his girlfriend and a friend who are studying there, for one week immediately after the Cvetličarna concert. "At that time, he called home to say that there were no restrictions there and he didn't need to have a mask on at the store, meanwhile here, everything was a lot more strict. When he came back, things relaxed a lot here, while over there the restrictions got stricter," says Chantal, who hopes that travelling will soon be something regular again and they will be able to visit their relatives more.

Since Kris just mentioned his girlfriend, I ask him whether it wouldn't be better for sold-out shows if all members of the band appeared single. "I have no reservations about publicly saying that I'm in a relationship, even though other band members might say differently. Our singer Bojan would say 'Kris got dumped by his girlfriend..." at every concert before a song I wrote when I once had a broken heart, but he didn't mention that it was four years ago," he laughs.

"As young girls, we used to wish that the boys on stage were single, but now I prefer to watch guys like Miha who are in a long-term relationship, because it means that they actually know something and have something to show for themselves," Chantal concludes wisely.

Maks and Maja have not been drawn into the music world (yet). "I did kind of pick up the guitar last year, but I quickly lost interest because I have too many things going on in my life to focus only on one. I can play a few of dad's songs, and I might turn to the guitar again at some point," says Maks, and his proud mum adds: "Maks is very skillful with the computer, he edits music clips and is working with various musicians.

Of course it started with Joker Out and Gušti, but now he's also working with Challe Salle⁷, Nipke⁸, he's making various videos for Spotify and has his own business. He's our businessman. All three of them are very creative, not only in the field of music, which is interesting. Maja, for example, draws incredibly well and is constantly making art."

All three kids are artistically gifted, say the proud parents. Photo: Jože Suhadolnik/Delo

They handled home schooling successfully, and as the family businessman and second year high school student Maks says, "I've found that being at home is better for me. The trip from home to school and back is time-consuming. If I'm at home, I have a lot more time left that I can use for myself."

Kris finished practically half of his studies remotely: "For the first year and a half, I was at the faculty and saw 250 students in one place in large halls, which was fascinating to me. With each new year I progressed to, there were fewer of us, and at the end there were about 40 of us left. Lockdown came at the right time for me.

All the lectures were recorded and I didn't have to get up early, I didn't have to take the bus at half past six in the morning, I could sleep in as long as I wanted and then watch the lectures. Because the professors speak slowly, I could set the speed to 1.5 and I wasn't losing time."

"I think we're all well-adapted to remote work," says Chantal, who is a veteran of it, "I've been working remotely for five years for the international school SAE, School of Audio Engineering, which used to be in Ljubljana as well, but shut down in 2016. Now I work for them in the international space. During lockdown, we were all happily rolling around the house and we were having a pretty nice time.

The happiest one, however, was Apple, who had company all the time." Gušti smiles: "I'm the only one in the house who doesn't have his own room, except for our bedroom. Whenever I needed peace to create, I retreated there, or I waited for example for Maja to go to her gymnastics practice so I could go to her room, or for Kris to not be home so I could go there. I'm the only nomad in the house."

When I last spoke to Chantal and Miha about ten years ago, we also talked about their filmesque love story which, with three small children, wasn't always easy. "I often got home at five in the morning, hyped up, with a good concert behind me, and Chantal placed a baby who hadn't slept all night in my arms. I was searching for that line, how to satisfy my rock'n'roll side on the one hand, and be a good husband and father on the other. I didn't always succeed, but I'm trying," says Gušti, who now sees his first-born backstage at concerts too.

Chantal, who speaks Dutch to her family as well as to Apple at home, has not grown fond of Slovenian cuisine even after 23 years: "I'm sorry, but that is really not for me, cabbage, sausages, blood sausages, dumplings… Luckily I now have kids who, apart from Kris, support me in this. Slovenia is developing though, and you can also get more and more Asian food here, which we really like and used to eat every other day back home, since my dad is originally from Indonesia." She says that Slovenians are very close-minded in some respects: "The attitude towards anything foreign is still pretty problematic here."

Maks adds the finishing touch: "If Slovenia was as developed socially as the Netherlands is, it could make a lot of progress as a country. I'm talking about the relationship between different cultures, who work together in the Netherlands, like water that always finds a way, while here, they are very separated."

¹EMA is the Slovenian national selection for Eurovision

²Bežigrad is a neighbourhood in Ljubljana

³Polona Kasal is a Slovenian singer; her and Gušti performed as a duo called "Gušti & Polona" for a few years

⁴You can watch Gušti and Leyre's performance at EMA 2022 here.

⁵Joker Out have, in fact, had to start thinking about TikTok since then. As you probably know, you can find them on TikTok here.

⁶You can watch the Cvetličarna concert with English subtitles here on our YouTube channel.

⁷Challe Salle, real name Saša Petrović, is a popular Slovenian hip hop singer, known for being very focused on being a good role model for his younger fans. One of his big hits was Lagano.

⁸Nipke, real name Boštjan Nipić, is a popular Slovenian rap/hip hop singer. He's part of the Dravle Records publishing company and collaborated with Bojan in the song Jst mam sam sebe rd.

If you repost quotes from the interview, please link back to this post! And if you repost the photos, do not crop out the photographer credit.

Interview with Liella!'s Third Generation Members - Yuina x Sakakura Sakura

Check out the original interview in the LoveLive! Days (September 2023), available for purchase on Amazon JP here.

The cast members of Liella!’s third-generation members have finally been revealed. This is an interview with the two of them, who took separate paths, being cast as a rival character and being selected through open auditions, before becoming members of Liella!.

I’ve been looking forward to having someone who’s both a friend and a partner, and I’m really glad that Saku ended up being the one to fill that spot.

I hope to someday grow into someone capable of supporting Yuina as well.

Their love for Love Live! is greater than any other fan! First encounter through friends and family

To start, please tell us how you got to know about the Love Live! series.

Sakakura: My older brother got into it first. I saw him playing SIF all day at home and asked him what he was doing. That got me into it too.

Yuina: When I was in my first year of middle school, there was a girl in my club who kept doing the “Nico Nico Nii”. Because I heard that phrase almost every day, I got more and more curious about what it was, and when I looked it up, the first thing that popped up was the video of Snow Halation. After that, I got into the songs and started watching the anime as well. I also watched preview videos of the live concerts, and that was the first time I learned about voice acting as a profession. They left a deep impact on me, and since they were just so cute, I kept watching those videos over and over again.

Sakakura: I watched those too! Even before I signed up for the audition, I constantly went back and rewatched the preview videos for µ’s and Aqours’ live concerts.

Sakakura-san, I heard that you’re a huge fan of the Love Live! series.

Sakakura: I believe that my love for the series is second to none.

Yuina: She showed me a photo of the cake she baked for Keke-chan’s birthday the other day.

Sakakura: Yeah! I love Keke-chan! I bought a sponge cake, decorated it with cream, and wrote “Happy birthday Keke!” on it. I even put an acrylic stand of her next to it. I’m a huge weeb (laughs). I have tons of merch too!

Did they really qualify through the open auditions?! Liella! through the eyes of a fan-turned-cast member

Apparently, you were following the Love Live! Superstar!! project as a fan since the very start, Sakakura-san. What were your thoughts about Date-san and Aoyama-san, who joined Liella! through the open auditions?

Sakakura: They’ve been so wonderful right from the start. They’re really cute and beautiful, not to mention their amazing acting, singing, and dancing skills. The conversations they have while on air are also really interesting! The way they stood on stage with their heads held high made them look really cool, and to be honest, I sometimes wondered whether they really qualified through the open auditions (laughs). I’ve been following the project since the very start when the open auditions were announced. After a while, the project’s title and main characters were also revealed, and at that time, the thought of signing up for the auditions didn’t even cross my mind. I’ve actually been saying things like “I’m going to become a cast member of Love Live!” since I was in elementary school. At that time, I was sure that I’d be able to do it, but as I grew older, I learned more about myself and the world around me, and it’s precisely because I’ve been a fan of the series for so long that I know just how amazing the Love Live! cast members are. I’d never learned how to dance or act, and I thought I should just give up on my dream and commit myself fully to supporting them. I wish I could’ve attended a Liella! concert back when they only had five members, but I couldn’t get any tickets, so the first concert I attended was their 3rd Live Tour. I went for the second day in Miyagi, and that was also the first Love Live! concert I ever attended.

How was the concert in Miyagi?

Sakakura: It was amazing! I kept thinking about it even after I got home. I’ll never forget how emotional I got when everyone first appeared on stage with a bang, performing WE WILL!!. It left such a deep impression on me that tears started flowing down my face. Margarete-chan’s performance was also amazing. She changed the atmosphere completely after Liella! infused the entire venue with their energy, and I thought that was really impressive. Her singing and dancing were also on a completely different level, and I couldn’t keep my eyes off each and every one of the facial expressions she made. I really liked the part when she said “Shibuya Kanon!’ too.

Yuina: I’m so glad to hear that! Everyone was waving their blades so hard that I was actually worried whether they’d drop them, and I could acutely feel how much we, the cast members, were loved.

Sakakura: Everyone was trying their best to keep up with the color changes. I waved mine at Yuina too (laughs).

Yuina-san, you’ve been performing on stage since the 3rd Live Tour. What were your thoughts when you first heard about the audition for Wien Margarete?

Yuina: It was love at first sight, literally. I prepared for the audition with a strong conviction that I really wanted to become her voice, that I really wanted to land this role. It was my first time participating in an audition for a voice acting role, but I danced when I was in elementary school, and I’ve always loved singing. I’d even pretend to be an idol sometimes when I was a kid. When I decided to participate in the audition, I started thinking that maybe this role is quite close to what I wanted to do in life. That perhaps this was what I’ve always wanted to do.

How did you react after hearing the news that you were accepted for the role?

Yuina: I jumped into the air… (embarrassed). I got the call when I was all alone at home, so I was in total disbelief at the start. But I had a bad feeling that something would go wrong if I got too excited, so up until the point where I was formally announced as being part of the project, I decided to take everything in life seriously. So I had a lot of time to digest the news. You never know what might happen in life, after all! (laughs) Now that I managed to land the role, I wanted to show off her position as the rival to the best of my ability. So I did my best to incorporate Margarete-chan’s sense of justice into my acting, no matter what others might have thought. But, during the 3rd Live Tour, which closely followed the anime’s storyline, I was performing on stage as Margarete-chan, who went on to win the first prize at the Yoyogi School Idol Festival. That was a little nerve-wracking, and I constantly wondered whether I managed to put on a performance worthy of that.

Since you were watching from the perspective of a fan, Sakakura-san, what did you think about Yuina-san?

Sakakura: The first time I saw Margarete-chan in the anime, I went “Who’s this beautiful girl?!”, and after the episode, I saw the cast announcement on social media and went “Who’s this beautiful girl?!” again (laughs). They were a perfect match, and I was surprised at how high-specced they both seemed.

Yuina: You flatter me~...! (embarrassed)

Yuina-san, you joined the Love Live! Superstar!! project at the same time as Liella!’s second-generation members. What are your thoughts about them?

Yuina: I didn’t manage to talk to them a lot back then, but we did meet before the announcement was made, so I was really nervous when I watched the first live stream featuring all nine members. I genuinely felt that I really liked everyone after seeing all nine members of Liella! together, and even though I knew that I’d be joining them later as a third-generation member, I couldn’t really imagine what that’d be like. What about you, Saku?

Sakakura: They’re all amazing, but the one that caught my attention the most was Nonchan, who also joined Liella! after being selected from the open auditions. How she caught my eye was different from how Sayurin and Nagichan did, in a good way, of course. She seemed reserved at first, so I wondered what kind of person she was, but as I watched more live streams, it became easier and easier to see her charms, which made me happy as well. That made me want to support her all the more.

Just give it a try! Taking the first step forward thanks to Liella!

The open auditions for the third-generation cast member were announced after the second season of the anime finished airing. What made you decide to apply for it, Sakakura-san?

Sakakura: It’s not like I regretted not signing up for the first round of open auditions. As a fan, I genuinely thought that Sayurin was the only one for Kanon-chan, and Nagichan was the only one for Ren-chan. Seeing how amazing the cast members who qualified through the open auditions were as they engaged in their activities as Liella! really gave me a push on the back, and that gave me the courage to apply. What Keke-chan said in the anime’s first season, “Is there such a thing as the end of the road for something you love so much?”, really struck me, since I was about to give up on my dreams. After hearing that line, I started wondering why I had decided to give up in the first place, and that I’d definitely give it a shot if I had the chance to do so in the future. Because of that, I applied for the audition without hesitation once it was announced.

How did you approach the audition?

Sakakura: I’m not very confident in my singing, but I really love singing Love Live! songs, so I’d have fun practicing. I’m really bad at dancing, so I practiced the set piece every single day while recording myself, and re-watched those recordings afterward. Practicing the acting part in front of my family members was embarrassing, so I practiced that when I was alone. I thought that I did alright in the second round, which was conducted online, and at that time, I still thought that it’d be nice if I made it. The third round was the first to be conducted on-site, and I was excited at the very prospect of being able to meet the people who worked on the Love Live! series (laughs). Everyone was really kind to me, and that holds true even to this day. But, I thought the third round didn’t go too well, and I remember texting my family about how I’d flunked it after it was over. Once I learned that I made it to the final round, I decided to just enjoy myself, since I thought it was already quite a miracle that I had managed to make it that far. Although I lacked confidence in my singing, dancing, and acting, I was sure that my love for the Love Live! series was greater than anybody else’s, and that was how I approached the final round. I couldn’t believe it when I got the news that I had been selected. Although I’m completely lacking in both ability and experience, I was really grateful that I was given an opportunity like this. Oh, I also wondered what my future would be like now that I was selected.

After that, it was finally time for your first meeting. What were your first impressions of each other?

Sakakura: Surprisingly, we got along pretty well right from the start.

Yuina: Yup, that’s right! I had heard that she was younger than me, but she seemed so mature the first time we met. When she started talking, she looked so cute and had this huge grin on her face… And she said she was so glad to meet me!

Sakakura: Of course I’d be glad (laughs)!

Yuina: Your happiness was contagious (laughs)! Since we were already like that the first time we met, we were quite close from the very start. But, even though she referred to the other Liella! members as, for example, “Sayurin” and “Nagichan” from the very start, for some reason, I was “Yuina-san”. I’ll never forget that! You felt so distant!

Sakakura: You don’t really have a nickname, so I didn’t know what to call you… (laughs wryly) Also, my manager kept the fact that I’d be meeting her that day a secret, so I went over thinking it was just a normal meeting. I was then told that Yuina would be there too when I arrived, which sent me into a panic. I wish I had put on nicer clothes and done my makeup properly!

Yuina: Even though I was so excited to meet you (laughs).

Sakakura: Oh, that was also the first time I saw an illustration of Tomari-chan. I honestly thought that she was really, really cute. That illustration struck right at my heart! Most of my favorite characters up until now have been the laid-back type, but Tomari-chan was so cute that it shattered all of that. At the same time, I wondered whether it really was okay for someone like me to be voicing such a cute girl. But I was really happy to see her!

Did you think about what your character would be like before you met Tomari-chan?

Sakakura: Of course I did! I thought she’d be someone more reserved like Hanayo-chan or Ruby-chan, since she was also a first-year. Also, I had already predicted that Margarete-chan would join as a third-generation member, so I really thought the other member would be more reserved, to serve as a foil to her.

Yuina: I totally get you! I thought we’d get someone who’s the complete opposite of Margarete-chan. So I was quite surprised that we got a cool-looking girl instead. But she’s really cute, and I really like the visual impact that the two third-generation characters give off when together.

Sakakura: Yeah, totally!

Yuina: Another thing that surprised me was that she’s Natsumi-chan’s younger sister.

Are there any traits that you think you share with Tomari-chan?

Sakakura: Practically none at all (laughs). But, well, Tomari-chan loves her older sister, and that has greatly influenced her personality. I too have an older brother, and he has also influenced me in various ways. For example, I decided to join the Kendo Club because he also did Kendo. Oh, and, as I mentioned earlier, the fact that he got hooked on SIF influenced me too. So I would say that he influenced me quite a bit. We get along really well, and I love him as a brother, so I guess that’s something I would say I share with Tomari-chan. As for our personalities, Tomari-chan has the tendency to put on a strong act, which makes her sound fiercer than she intends to be. There are times when I act like that towards my family members as well, so I guess we might be similar in that aspect.

Yuina: There’s a part during her self-introduction where she goes “Please don’t stare at me like that…”, and I think that’s just like Saku. Saku gets embarrassed easily too, and that’s one of the things that makes her so cute. We might be able to uncover more similarities after we get to know Tomari-chan a little better!

Sakakura: That’d be nice. What about Margarete-chan?

Yuina: Like… It felt like I was looking at myself in the past. I absolutely couldn’t stand losing, and I’d never quit until I won. Like, I wanted everything to end with me winning (laughs). I’d much rather participate in sports myself compared to just watching. Oh, and both of us have older sisters, so that’s another thing we share. I love my older sister, but I couldn’t stand losing to her. I didn’t want people to look down on me just because I was the younger sister, and I wanted to show my mother that I could win against her as an equal. So in that sense, I think we’re pretty similar.

After that meeting, you met the other members of Liella!.

Sakakura: I was really, really emotional, the most I’ve ever been in my life, even. I’ve always just been a fan, so seeing all of them right there in front of me made me almost burst into tears. Before meeting them, my manager warned me not to fangirl too much since I was going to become a cast member alongside everyone else, but there was no way I could hold back… (laughs)

Yuina: It was quite a strange feeling for me. We entered the room with a staff member announcing “And here are the third-generation cast members!”, and I started getting nervous too because Saku was trembling beside me. Though that all dissipated the moment we entered the room and everyone said something like “Oh, that’s a familiar face!” (laughs). I thought I had to bridge the conversation between Saku and everyone else, but once we started talking, it became clear that I had nothing to worry about. She quickly got along with everyone else, which just goes to show how friendly she is.

Sakakura: Everyone came over and talked to me the moment we were done for the day. I had a lingering worry that the Liella! I’d been watching as a fan all this while would be different from the Liella! I’d meet in person. I was also worried whether I’d be accepted into the group, given that the nine first- and second-generation members had already gotten to know Yuina and I’d be dropped in the midst of all that, all by myself. But our first meeting made all those worries vanish into thin air. Experiencing how kind and friendly Yuina and everyone else in Liella! were made me really glad that I’d supported this group all this while.

Waiting for a partner The bonds between the third-generation cast members

Did you see the fans’ reactions to the self-introduction videos or your first live stream?

Sakakura: I was so scared that I decided not to look at the comments on the self-introduction video.

Yuina: I told her that I was gonna look at Tomari’s comments before her, so that’s precisely what I did (laughs).

Sakakura: And she told me there were a lot of welcoming comments (laughs). Of course, there were some negative ones, but most of them were welcoming. That made me realize the fact that the kindness of Love Live! fans was one of the things that make the series so amazing, and it reaffirmed the love I have for it.

Yuina: Yeah, the comments were really kind! I thought I was panicking before the live stream, but Saku was completely white and looked like she was about to pass out (laughs).

Sakakura: Self-confidence has never been my strong suit, so what the fans would think of me joining Liella!, which was already such an amazing group, constantly weighed on my mind. I even imagined scenarios where I’d receive a flood of mean comments…… I was really, really nervous, but everyone in Liella! came over to ask if I was okay, or to give me a pat on the back. Up until that moment, being in the presence of the members of Liella! had only served to make me even more nervous, but during the live stream, I actually became less nervous thanks to them. Even though I’d just met them, I realized that what Liella! meant to me was starting to change, bit by bit.

Yuina: I’m sure everyone watching could tell how sincere your words were precisely because you’re such a big fan of Love Live!!

Sakakura: Thank you……! I didn’t manage to read many comments during the live stream itself, so I took the time to go through them slowly after I got home. The warmth in each and every one of the comments was the thing that finally melted away all my nerves and worries, and that was when the tears started flowing down my cheeks. The desire to become a cast member was indeed the dominant emotion within me, but there was also a part of me that was worried about the future and everything I’d be doing. After all, now that I’m involved in this world as a cast member, I’m sure what I’ll be able to see will be completely different from the glimpse I caught as a fan. But, now, I’m really glad that I decided to sign up for the audition. I experience something new and enjoy myself every single day, and even though I definitely still have a long way to go, I think I’ve definitely grown as a person. But that’s mostly thanks to how kind and amazing everyone in Liella! is, and the fact that they’re such good role models. Of course, I want to catch up to them in terms of my acting and singing, but I’d also like to become more like them, as a person. It’d be nice if I could continue changing for the better in the future.

The pace of the eleven-member Liella!’s activities will surely only continue to increase. Tell us about something you hope to achieve in the future.

Sakakura: The top priority for me is to do my best to catch up to Yuina. There’s not a single thing that she can’t do but I can. Even so, she always says things like “Let’s do our best together!”. Hearing those words really does make me happy, and because she has supported me countless times, I hope to someday grow into someone capable of supporting Yuina as well.

Yuina: … (stares at Sakakura)

Sakakura: (laughs)

Yuina: Really, though, I feel like I’ve already come to rely on her. The other day, I attended a recording session where Saku wasn’t there beside me, and that made me rather fidgety (laughs). Because we’ve spent practically every single day together attending lessons, being alone suddenly made me feel uneasy. That made me realize that without me noticing, I’ve been unconsciously leaning on Saku. Somehow, having her beside me puts me at ease. So I need her by my side! Because the character I voice has up until now been a rival and a lone wolf, there was a part of me that couldn’t wait for another third-generation member to show up. I’ve been looking forward to having someone who’s both a friend and a partner, and I’m really glad that Saku ended up being the one to fill that spot. She claims to be bad at dancing, but seeing how much she improves after every single lesson makes me want to push myself even harder too. So rather than keeping your worries to yourself, I hope that we can tackle this together as one since we’re in a three-legged race together. So… Thank you. (looks Sakakura in the eye)

Sakakura: No, thank you!

Last but not least, a message for the fans!

Yuina: Your kind words have supported me countless times ever since the 3rd Live Tour. I’ll be part of Liella! from now on, and I’m really glad that I’ll get more chances to interact with everyone. Of course, there are still many things I need to get used to, but I hope to dance high up in the sky together with Margarete-chan!

Sakakura: Thank you so much for all your support. Your kind words really are the thing that keeps me wanting to do my best every single day. Just like how you’ve supported me, I hope to become someone that can support you in return, together with Tomari-chan. I’ll do my very best, so I’d be glad if you watched over me as I do just that!

Yuina, the voice of Wien Margarete, is from Kanagawa. She attended the audition for her role in between rehearsals for a stage play she was starring in and showed up in full vampire makeup, which apparently caused quite a stir. She mentions being enthralled by the cool solo performance of Kobayashi Aika-san, the voice of Tsushima Yoshiko from Love Live! Sunshine!!

Sakakura Sakura, the voice of Onitsuka Tomari, is from Saitama. Before becoming a cast member of Love Live! Superstar!!, she aimed to become a kindergarten teacher. A true Liella! fan, she visited the rolled ice cream cafe that Liella! collaborated with and stayed there until she managed to draw her favorite character, Tang Keke.

Translation: xIceArcher

Translation Check/Quality Check: Dyrea (@dyreatic)

Toshiya’s Creativity Vol 7: Looking back at Life This time, as Toshiya’s birthday is getting closer, we asked him to look back on his life. From his childhood to boyhood in Nagano and moving to Tokyo after his awakening to music. And the present. Memories, present and future…. Blessed with good weather, we did this interview in a localisation where you could feel the arrival of spring.  “For me, music is the most stimulating thing. It was a way to escape from reality” “I think it’s a miracle I met these 4 people.” “When you are standing on stage in front of the audience, you should be a special person that nobody can’t replace”

Notes before reading: This is from ‘Toshiya’s creativity’, the serialization done by Ster Edge Magazine and later compiled into a book with the same name. This is Vol 07 (Ster Edge 006) , which was published in March 2018.  Originally, I planned to post this for Toshiya’s birthday but....life.  Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing parts. Links or credits to this post when the content is reposted or captured in other SNS is appreciated :)

------ 2017 marked the 20th anniversary of the formation of DIR EN GREY. Toshiya also had the opportunity to look back on the history of the band at various locations. This time, we asked him to look back on his ‘life’ just before his birthday on March 31st. How did he feel at that time? What did he realize at that moment and what does he think now? It was an interview that gave us a glimpse of his enigmatic way of thinking and a part his feelings. Toshiya is from Nagano prefecture. He says the environment in which he grew up was "a normal countryside one” in “a normal family”. In our previous talk with Hide TANAKA, a flower designer who is a childhood friend of Toshiya, which was published in "Toshiya's Creativity Vol6", he talked about his childhood, but  we will explore this further,  in a bit more personal way. When he was asked about his oldest memory, he folded his arms, thought for a moment, and then opened his mouth. “This memory comes quickly to my mind. There was something like an agricultural cooperative bazaar/rummage sale being held near my grandparent's house, and I think they took me to it. I was very impressed by a child of the same age as me at that time who was lost and crying alone. So, I remember holding my grandpa and grandma's hands tightly and saying, ‘Don’t lose me!’ (laughs).” His grandparents' home and his home were close, so he often went out with his grandparents from an early age. “I was close to my grandfather and my grandmother. I remember I was the type of child loved by the elderly. I’m still quite in contact with my family and relatives, we have a good relationship. But it wasn't something special, it was normal for me at the time. My hometown is a normal countryside town, where  nothing is  like this city, it feels like there are only mountains and rice fields. I also liked drawing at home and playing outside. I was playing like a normal country child would do.” Young Toshiya seems to have grown up in the nature of Nagano. It seems his parents also respected the things he wanted to do. “I was in a sports boys' team, a baseball team, and I practised kendo. I feel like I certainly did what I wanted. I liked physical activities. I wasn’t strong or weak at sports, after all I was normal (laughs). My parents taught me soroban (Japanese abacus), and in junior high school I attended a cram school. I think I got a textbook to study English through radio lessons. I just pretended to play the abacus, and I wasn't good at it at all (laughs). " Toshiya was a boy who was devoted to sports. He talked to Hide about playing the guitar when he was young, but was he interested in music and instruments at that time? “No, no at all. My mother's brother used to play the guitar and I was just using that guitar as a toy instead. More than playing, I was killing time. It felt like that. At that time, I had no dreams for the future. When I was told to write about my dream for the future, I just wrote ‘be a salary man, like my father’. I think that was the safest choice (laughs). The children of my class said ‘I want to be a police officer’ or ‘I want to be a pilot’, but I wasn't interested in what I wanted to do in the future at all.” He said ‘normal’ many times while talking about himself in the past but while listening to his talk, he didn't feel like that for some reason, he had a mysterious aura since he was a boy. He said the thing that young Toshiya was more interested in was ‘wild ideas/fantasies’. “I think it was like that in the past. Didn’t you have any ‘wild idea’ /fantasy on your way to school or coming back from it? I liked that kind of thing. As I liked Gundam, I thought ‘I want to ride one’. Sometimes I went home with my friends, but more often I went home alone. It was about a 30-minute walk from my house to school, so it was days of spending all that time doing that (laughs).” Perhaps he was a boy who had his own world and the strength to be alone. “No, no, I didn't think deeply about that. I never felt scared to be alone…. the reason I went home alone was it was easier for me to go home alone (laughs). I'm older than my siblings, so I grow up as an only child for a while. That’s why it was normal for me to be alone. Most of the boys and girls I played with were older kids who lived near my house” Toshiya, an elementary school boy who often played with older boys and girls who lived in the neighbourhood, gradually got more chances to listen to popular songs at his senpais' homes. Boøwy was the catalyst for him to have an instrument. “Boøwy was a cool band that older seniors listened to. When I got into middle school, there were about one or two people in the class who liked Western music. When I became friends with those guys, I was told ‘You are still listening to Japanese music?’ (laughs). From that moment, I started to dig deeper into Western music.” Then, that Toshiya in middle school becomes more and more absorbed in music. It was around this time that he started to have in his mind that he wanted to play an instrument. “Besides Boøwy and X…..From overseas… I listened to Van Halen. Then, bands like Europe, Guns N'Roses,Bon jovi….. as it was the golden age of LA metal (glam metal), I liked that kind of stuff. I listened to the X’s single ‘Kurenai’ at home. That song starts with a ballad-like part, and then it gets fierce at once, but when I was playing it at first, I could hardly hear any sound. I still remember that suddenly it made a loud noise when I turned up the volume, I was surprised and desperately turned down the volume (laughs). " As Toshiya told us this funny incident, for sure there are many people who had a similar experience. What elements of these bands inspired Toshiya in middle school? "The music was exciting, but the fashion and performance were shocking ... Every band was very unrealistic. It seems that I was taken to a different world at that time. The feelings were very strong.  Since TV was the only way to collect information, I think the influence from TV on me was huge.” He has been absorbed in band activities since high school. The first thing he got in his hands was a guitar, not a bass. He doesn't have get the chance to play the guitar on stage right now, but he uses the guitar to make songs. "After all, I started playing the guitar because I admired some guitarists, but I thought 'It's difficult to play with 6 strings. It's a little easier with 4 strings.' After all, I thought it would be easier if there aren’t many chords to hold down. Also, I thought the bass was in a position that didn’t stand out much compared to other instruments, so I thought it would be interesting because that means there were many interesting possibilities about playing” Toshiya, who liked drawing since childhood, went to an art school while being in a band, after graduating from high school. Although he is good at drawing, he eventually chose the musical path. “I didn't want to get a job after graduating from high school, but I didn’t want to study something either. However, I liked drawing, so I asked my parents to attend an art school. At school, the places where the people who graduated there got a job are displayed at the corridor, isn’t it? I was looking at that and I thought ‘Ah? I don't think many people can get a job in the world of drawing’. I don’t think there are many jobs available when it comes to drawing. I thought ‘I like drawing but as this is more a hobby than a job, there is no point in spending money to study it. I’m going to spend my time doing what I like’. After all, I left the art school in about a year. After all, you only live once, and I may regret not doing what I want to do…..That's why I decided to go on the path of music for real. Music is the most stimulating thing for me. Making music was fun and I think it was a bit an escape from reality. I could be a different person than the one I was in my daily life….I wonder if these ‘extraordinary things’ became an stimulus for me.” Immediately after that, Toshiya goes to Tokyo to be fully into band activities as a band man. An era in which the Internet is hardly widespread it was important to move to make his own path. He took action and met various people. “When I went to Tokyo, I met and talked with several people. I was told often that ‘those who move out their hometowns had already won’. I thought there was no chance  if I stayed in the countryside and I started doing band activities quietly. There may be various risks and scary feelings, but if you really want a chance, you have to go to the place where there is information. Of course, I think that taking no action is also one of the options. There may be a way to improve your skills locally, or you can go out to the city to seize opportunities, and I think it's up to you to decide which one to choose. I met the members (of DIR EN GREY) in Tokyo, so I think I wouldn't have been in this band if I hadn't come to Tokyo. " "I think it was a miracle that I could meet the other 4 members” Toshiya, who met Kyo,Kaoru, Die, and Shinya, moved to Kansai and started band activities there . In 1997, DIR EN GREY was formed. They made their national debut in 1998, and made his major debut in 1999 with the release of the singles "Akuro no Oka", "ZAN-" and "Yurameki".  He thought ‘Because I only have one life, I may regret not doing what I want to do’, and took action. About three years later, Toshiya's life changed. "I think most people in the music world are like that…..At that time, I didn't know what I was doing, but I was confident. I think it's a little scary when I think about my confident at that time. I had such a simple idea that in a way or another, we were going to make it. That's why I didn't think anything strange, the biggest thing was that I didn't have any strange fear. As I grew up, I started to think about things I hadn't thought of before. I was getting more and more involved with people, but I didn’t have that kind of thing when I was young. I think that was the biggest driving force. When I look back on it now, I feel envious of that feeling that nothing was going to stop me.” It was a brilliant  and sensational success. It was probably the tremendous power of these five people that attracted that success, which the appropriate world to describe it would be “comet”. A comet that seen from a distance was very beautiful but, how did DIR EN GREY feel about it, being the comet themselves? “We didn’t fully understand the situation we were in. There was a strong feeling we were getting into a world we didn’t know. We were an active part of that, but it felt like we were outsiders. At that time, music had a stimulating sense of unreality but also the fear that it became real started to spring up. At that time, it felt like that many times. DIR EN GREY was called the “last boom” of the scene we were in and I think we were lucky. There was also a part of us that tried to not be absorbed by that boom” DIR EN GREY’s activities have been very creative since then. From this formation until their debut, the band didn’t lose their spirits and kept their aggressive stance. Continuing to present things with a strong emphasis in musicality and fashion making a distinction in the middle of that ‘boom’, they built a unshakeable fortress called DIR EN GREY. “At that time, various media such as TV and magazines talked to us, but we tried not to go in that direction. I was influenced by TV in terms of knowing music, but when it comes to my own work, I didn’t think about becoming the kind of musician that appears on TV. Of course, I thought it would be the best if we got TV exposure but…..at some point, there were things that cold me off. ‘This boom won’t last forever’, it’s easy to get on that boom, but once the boom is over, it’s gone. At that time, I might not have thought so much about it, but I instinctively felt that it was dangerous to get into that boom” It’s not just Toshiya, all DIR EN GREY members agreed. “Sometimes thanks to the boom and the media, they (the listeners) get to know about you. I think it’s the best way to get people know about you but, I also think it’s really dangerous. I think there were some people who succumbed to that kind of excitement. We were cautious because we were the only ones who could protect ourselves, no one else would protect us.” Because DIR EN GREY decided that it was dangerous to get drawn by that boom, they were able to pursue the music and expressions they wanted to do in a deeper way. A different strength from that boom. “That’s right…. We didn’t really understand what happened, we couldn’t say ‘ we did this so this happened after’, there were moments we relied on ourselves, but there were also moments that we relied on others. I guess that balance was good. However, we tried to not get into that wave of popularity as much as possible” DIR EN GREY continued to run ahead of the boom without appearing in the mainstream media, toured Asia in 2002, achieving the first overseas expansion. Due to changes in music aspects, the attention they got from overseas increased and in 2005, they performed in Berlin, marking their first solo concert in Europe. From there, they started to held live performances around the world. Their music spread to the world in proportion to the rise of the Internet. Their journey was so innovative in the music scene that many artists used them as their role model. Should it be called ‘a miracle’ caused by  a natural sense of balance? “I think this (the overseas expansion) was something rare for us. ‘Something like this is what we want’, ‘It would be good if you could show this or that’……we were told these kind of things so maybe it (a miracle) happened. First of all, I think it’s a miracle I met these 4 people.” Toshiya said this a little shy smile.  There aren't many bands that have been so active for 20 years without changing members or stopping their activities. It's a miracle. “Because it’s an aspect that you can’t control…the things you do and the people you meet. I think it’s a miracle in that sense as well.” After 20 years, there were changes as an individual person, and there were changes in the way they interact with music. He says it's not just about music, ‘No matter what you do, if you make a mistake, you're done’, he adds. “Everyone calls me an 'artist', but I don't feel like one. The easiest thing to say would be ‘free person’ (laughs).  As I don’t have the experience of a normal working life, waking up at the same time on weekdays mornings, getting on the same train every day, rather than an artist, I would say I’m a free person. However, if there is a misunderstanding, I come to think of myself as ‘someone special’ who can’t live a normal life. It’s dangerous and scary. But humans are creatures that make mistakes (laughs).” Is it his way of saying that there was a “misunderstanding” in the past? “Well, there is. I made mistakes. That's why I'm scared. At the time of the debut, the number of adults  I didn’t know increased around me. No matter what you do, many people was moving. That became something common. But that many people come, means that many people also leave…. Shortly after my debut, a friend from Nagano told me two things. One was ‘it’s good you can do what you like’, and the other was ‘Did you start a band to be admired/ to be pampered?’ Those words were quite a big deal for me. I thought I couldn't stay that way, so I had to change my way of thinking a little more. The words this person told me made me feel sad but then I said ‘Isn’t it good? Why you don’t try to do your best too?’ (laughs).” Toshiya laughs and says ‘I want to be a person with an ordinary consciousness’. His way of talking and manners are soft, giving an impression that he is a person who has nothing to do with the word ‘rude’. “In my teens,  my senpais were unconventional and  I admired a lot their messy behaviour but unfortunately,  times are very different now. When we were children, we thought about what to buy and how to use the money we received for New Year's  but nowadays  children seem to save money. It might be good to do something unconventional and have a dream in such a conservative era, but I'm not that age anymore. Now, if I do something like that, I’d be in a difficult position (laughs). That’s why being a person with an ordinary consciousness would be the ideal”. “When you stand on stage in front of  the audience, you should be a special person that nobody can’t replace” When you ask him about music activity, the talk extends to other topics that are not limited to music. The concept of the brand 'DIRT 100% Natural Dirty' produced by him is 'unisex real clothes that can be worn in a wide range of occasions from casual to formal’, the design  not only affects the clothes but also the spaces that surround your daily life. Toshiya proposes and produce unique and original clothes for daily life.  The fact that the words ‘life’ and ‘everyday’ are included means that for Toshiya, as music, his brand production and life are something that flows together, not something that can be separate from each other. “There isn’t really a distinction. But both, music and brand production, I can’t call them ‘work’. Of course I can’t remove the business part of it but I don’t think it’s work. This interview is also part of my job, that’s why I’m definitely switched on my ‘business mode’. If you like something in a pure way, you shouldn’t make a business of it. Of course, I make music and produce clothes because I like it, but the truth is that you can’t just do something because you like it. That’s why I think I have to do it. For example,  of course I would say ‘I want to do this’ to the company but  saying NO to everything that the company suggests, like ‘I want you to do this, I think it’s just selfish. If I’m allowed to do what I want to do, then I have to do also what the company wants me to do, otherwise, it won’t work. If you just want to do whatever you want,  it would be like ‘why don't you do it by yourself? I think I'm doing it with several people because I can't do it alone.” It might be because of this that the band DIR EN GREY continue to be active with the same members. It’s  only because they have their own opinions but also they have the capacity to listen and absorb other people’s opinions. “I have a firm ideal within myself. However, there are times  you will realize things listening to other people’s opinions and absorbing them. When you have a talk with several people that are experts in something, new opinions that I didn’t know before are born. I often think that it’s like the scales fall from my eyes, and it leads to new discoveries. There might be a reason why we don’t aim to “do things by ourselves’. It's not that music and brands can't be done alone…. I feel that if I go alone, I might make a mistake. Going back to I said before, if you think of yourself as 'special', I think it's not going to go in the right direction….But it's an exception when you stand on stage in front of the audience. , you should be a special person that nobody can’t replace” No matter how good a person is, they may stop at some point. Toshiya was no exception. However, he says with confident ‘I still have many things that I want to do’. “I've often thought ‘this is my limit’. I have thought many times ‘I don't have any ideas, I don't like it, it's hard’..... But then, I’ve always come up with ideas and images such as "I want to do something like that" or "Let's do something like this". I've been doing something like that all the time….I think my desire for expression will never run out. I don't think things can be made from scratch. Everything is imitation of something,  an arrangement of something….I think that’s the trigger for the ramification of creation.  In your daily life, you can see various things and various things will happen, so I hope to reflect in my work what is happening at that moment.” Will Toshiya reach a turning point in his life soon? In the last talk, he wondered if he would become an adult when he is 50 or 60 years old. He also said he wanted to be 50 or 60 years old soon. He set his mind on the idea of ‘You only have one life, if you don’t do the things that you want, you’ll regret it’. Until now, he has devoted his life to the band so is he satisfied with that or is there any regrets? “It’s half satisfaction, half regrets (laughs).  I think I have more regrets, though. When I was in elementary school I thought that at my age I would be living in my hometown, I’d be married and would have kids…’I wish I had done that at that time’….’I didn’t do that’….things like that, if I start mentioning them, there would be no end. But you can’t do anything about the things you didn’t do, I think the perception will change if you look at it with regrets or as a reflection. Sayingt that ‘I could become an adult once I’m 50 or 60 years old” means I entrusted to my future self, things I can’t do now. It’s a way of escapism, though(laughs). I feel like the things I can’t do now will be easier in the future and the range of the things I’ll be able to do will be wider. I will pursue forever the person I aspired to become when I was a child. I think it’s a human thing to do that.” Toshiya’s voice “I requested this photoshoot to take place somewhere near the sea. Since my birthday was closer, I did an interview looking back on my life. If anything, it felt like the interview was important. As we went to Odaiba, the travel time was longer. The talk about the Olimpics in the car was exciting.

The Baby Brokers: Inside America’s Murky Private-Adoption Industry

by Tik Root

6/3/21

Shyanne Klupp was 20 years old and homeless when she met her boyfriend in 2009. Within weeks, the two had married, and within months, she was pregnant. “I was so excited,” says Klupp. Soon, however, she learned that her new husband was facing serious jail time, and she reluctantly agreed to start looking into how to place their expected child for adoption. The couple called one of the first results that Google spat out: Adoption Network Law Center (ANLC).

Klupp says her initial conversations with ANLC went well; the adoption counselor seemed kind and caring and made her and her husband feel comfortable choosing adoption. ANLC quickly sent them packets of paperwork to fill out, which included questions ranging from personal-health and substance-abuse history to how much money the couple would need for expenses during the pregnancy.

Klupp and her husband entered in the essentials: gas money, food, blankets and the like. She remembers thinking, “I’m not trying to sell my baby.” But ANLC, she says, pointed out that the prospective adoptive parents were rich. “That’s not enough,” Klupp recalls her counselor telling her. “You can ask for more.” So the couple added maternity clothes, a new set of tires, and money for her husband’s prison commissary account, Klupp says. Then, in January 2010, she signed the initial legal paperwork for adoption, with the option to revoke. (In the U.S., an expectant mother has the right to change her mind anytime before birth, and after for a period that varies state by state. While a 2019 bill proposing an explicit federal ban of the sale of children failed in Congress, many states have such statutes and the practice is generally considered unlawful throughout the country.)

“I will never forget the way my heart sank,” says Klupp. “You have to buy your own baby back almost.” Seeing no viable alternative, she ended up placing her son, and hasn’t seen him since he left the hospital 11 years ago.

Movies may portray the typical adoption as a childless couple saving an unwanted baby from a crowded orphanage. But the reality is that, at any given time, an estimated 1 million U.S. families are looking to adopt—many of them seeking infants. That figure dramatically outpaces the number of available babies in the country. Some hopeful parents turn to international adoption, though in recent years other countries have curtailed the number of children they send abroad. There’s also the option to adopt from the U.S. foster-care system, but it’s an often slow-moving endeavor with a limited number of available infants. For those with means, there’s private domestic adoption.

ANLC was started in 1996 by Allan and Carol Gindi, who first called it the Adoption Network. The company says it has since worked on over 6,000 adoptions and that it’s the largest law corporation in the nation providing adoption services (though limited publicly available data makes that difficult to verify). ANLC’s home page is adorned with testimonials from grateful clients. Critics, however, see the organization as a paradigm of the largely unregulated private-adoption system in the U.S., which has made baby brokering a lucrative business.

Problems with private domestic adoption appear to be widespread. Interviews with dozens of current and former adoption professionals, birth parents, adoptive parents and reform advocates, as well as a review of hundreds of pages of documents, reveal issues ranging from commission schemes and illegal gag clauses to Craigslistesque ads for babies and lower rates for parents willing to adopt babies of any race. No one centrally tracks private adoptions in the U.S., but best estimates, from the Donaldson Adoption Institute (2006) and the National Council for Adoption (2014), respectively, peg the number of annual nonrelative infant adoptions at roughly 13,000 to 18,000. Public agencies are involved in approximately 1,000 of those, suggesting that the vast majority of domestic infant adoptions involve the private sector—and the market forces that drive it.

“It’s a fundamental problem of supply and demand,” says Celeste Liversidge, an adoption attorney in California who would like to see reforms to the current system. The scarcity of available infants, combined with the emotions of desperate adoptive parents and the advent of the Internet, has helped enable for-profit middlemen—from agencies and lawyers to consultants and facilitators—to charge fees that frequently stretch into the tens of thousands of dollars per case.

A 2021 ANLC agreement, reviewed by TIME and Newsy, shows that prospective parents were charged more than $25,000 in fees—not including legal costs for finalizing the adoption, birth-mother expenses and other add-ons (like gender specification). The full tab, say former employees, can balloon to more than double that.

“The money’s the problem,” says Adam Pertman, author of Adoption Nation and president of the National Center on Adoption and Permanency. “Anytime you put dollar signs and human beings in the same sentence, you have a recipe for disaster.”

Even though federal tax credits can subsidize private adoptions (as much as $14,300 per child for the adopting parents), there is no federal regulation of the industry. Relevant laws—governing everything from allowable financial support to how birth parents give their consent to an adoption—are made at the state level and vary widely. Some state statutes, for example, cap birth-mother expenses, while others don’t even address the issue. Mississippi allows birth mothers six months to change their mind; in Tennessee, it’s just three days. After the revocation period is over, it’s “too bad, so sad,” says Renee Gelin, president of Saving Our Sisters, an organization aimed at helping expectant parents preserve their families. “The mother has little recourse.”

Liversidge founded the nonprofit AdoptMatch, which describes itself as a “mobile app and online resource” that aims to “increase an expectant parent’s accessibility to qualified adoptive parents and ethical adoption professionals.” She says the hodgepodge of state statutes invites abuse: “Anyone that knows or learns the system—it doesn’t take much—can exploit those loopholes very easily for financial gain.”

Thirteen former ANLC employees, whose time at the organization spanned from 2006 to 2015, were interviewed for this story. Many asked to remain anonymous, out of fear of retaliation from the Gindis or ANLC. (The couple has filed multiple suits, including for defamation, over the years.) “The risk is too great for my family,” wrote one former employee in a text to TIME and Newsy. But whether on or off the record, the former employees told largely similar stories of questionable practices at an organization profiting off both adoptive and expectant parents. “These are such vulnerable people,” says one former employee. “They deserve more than greed.”

The Gindis have long faced questions about their adoption work. In 2006, the Orange County district attorney filed a scathing complaint contending that while operating Adoption Network, the couple had committed 11 violations, including operating as a law firm without an attorney on staff and falsely advertising Carol as having nursing degrees. Admitting no wrongdoing, the Gindis agreed to pay a $100,000 fine.

Since around that time, the Gindis’ exact involvement with ANLC has been difficult to discern amid a web of other companies, brands and titles. They both declined interview requests, but Allan did respond to emailed questions, explaining that he plays what he termed “an advertising role” for ANLC, including for the company’s current president, Lauren Lorber (the Gindis’ daughter), who took over the law practice in 2015. Before that, an attorney named Kristin Yellin owned ANLC. Former employees, though, say that despite an outwardly delineated setup, Allan in particular has remained heavily involved in ANLC operations. As far back as 2008, even though Yellin was the titular owner, “everyone knew that Allan Gindi ran it,” according to former employee Cary Sweet. (Sweet and other employees were plaintiffs in a 2010 discrimination and unlawful business practices lawsuit against ANLC. The company denied the allegations and the parties settled for an amount that Sweet says she isn’t allowed to reveal but called “peanuts.”)

In an interview, Yellin bristled at the idea that Allan Gindi was in charge during her ownership period, saying, “I realized what the Gindis’ role was and how to put boundaries on that.” Lorber, who declined an interview for this story, wrote via email that Allan has been a “leader” in adoption marketing. He maintains, also by email, that over a 25-year period, each attorney for whom he has provided his “highly specialized marketing services” has been “more than satisfied.” In an earlier text message, Allan also characterized the reporting for this story as “an attack on the wonderful work that Adoption Network has done and continues to do.”

Sweet, who worked with both expectant and adoptive parents at ANLC from 2008 to 2011, says she wasn’t aware of Klupp’s experience but remembers a situation involving a staff member’s threatening to call child protective services on a mother if she didn’t place her child for adoption. In a 2011 deposition taken as part of Sweet’s lawsuit, Yellin stated that the employee in question had told her that they had conveyed to the mother that “if you end up not going through with this, you know social services will probably be back in your life.” Yellin said that she found the comment inappropriate in context but did not perceive it as threatening or coercive.

Lorber, who has owned ANLC since late 2015, wrote in an email that she’s unaware of any incidents in which birth mothers were told they would have to pay back expenses if they chose not to place their child. But Klupp isn’t the only expectant mother to say she felt pressured by ANLC. Gracie Hallax placed two children through ANLC, in 2017 and 2018. Although the company arranged for lodging during her pregnancy (including, she says, in a bedbug-infested motel), she recalls an ANLC representative’s telling her that she could have to pay back expenses if she backed out of the adoptions. Madeline Grimm, a birth mother who placed her child through ANLC in 2019, also says she was informed that she might have to return expense money if she didn’t go through with the adoption. “That was something that I would think of if I was having any kind of doubt,” she says. “Like, well, sh-t, I’d have to pay all this back.”

The experiences described by Klupp, Hallax and Grimm fit a pattern of practices at ANLC that former employees say were concerning. Many describe a pervasive pressure to bring people—whether birth parents or adoptive couples—in the door. This was driven, at least in part, they say, by a “profit sharing” model of compensation in which, after meeting certain targets, employees could earn extra by signing up more adoptive couples or completing more matches. Former employees say birth mothers who did multiple placements through ANLC were sometimes referred to as “frequent flyers.” (Lorber and Yellin both say they have never heard that term.)

“The whole thing became about money and not about good adoption practices,” says one former employee. As they saw it, ANLC made a priority of “bringing in the next check.”

Adoptive parents, former employees say, were sometimes provided inaccurate statistics on how often the company’s attempts to matchmake were successful. “They almost made it seem like birth mothers were lining up to give their babies away,” says one. “That’s not reality.” (Yellin says in the 2011 deposition that the data were outdated, not inaccurate.) Clients pay their fees in two nonrefundable installments, one at the beginning of the process and another after matching with a birth mother. As a result, former employees say, if the adoption fell through, there was little financial incentive for ANLC to rematch the parents, and those couples were routinely not presented to other birth mothers. “Counselors were being pressured to do this by the higher-ups,” claims one former employee, recalling instructions to “not match couples that are not bringing in money. Period.”

Some prospective adoptive parents whom the company deemed harder to match—those who were overweight, for example, say former employees—were given a limited agreement that timed out, rather than the standard open-ended contract. There was also a separate agreement for those willing to adopt Black or biracial babies, for which the company offered its services at a discount. (In her 2011 deposition, Yellin acknowledged that there were multiple versions of the agreement and providing staff with obesity charts. When asked if obesity was a reason clients got a limited agreement, she said, “Specifically because they were obese, no.” In regard to whether what a couple looked like was considered, she responded, “I can only speculate. I do not know.”)

Former ANLC employees also allege the company would encourage pregnant women to relocate to states where the adoption laws were more favorable and finalizations more likely. “I believe it’s called venue hunting,” one recalls. And while that former employee made sure to note that ANLC did produce some resoundingly positive, well-fitting adoptions, they say the outcome was largely a matter of luck, “like throwing spaghetti on a refrigerator to see if it’ll stick.”

Yellin acknowledges that when she took over the company in 2007, “there was a feeling that some of the adoption advisers had felt pressured just to make matches.” But she says she worked to address that and other issues. Yellin says she put an end to the use of the limited agreement, and denies that ANLC ever advised birth mothers to relocate to other states to make an adoption easier. She also says she wasn’t aware of any instances of birth mothers’ being coerced into placing their babies. Other practices, though, she defended. Charging lower fees to parents willing to adopt babies of any race makes business sense, Yellin says. “Their marketing costs were lower. That’s just the reality of it.” Lorber maintains that fee structure stopped in 2019. More broadly, she noted that of the thousands of parties that ANLC has worked with over the years, the complaint rate is less than half of 1% and “that is one track record to be proud of!”

But ANLC’s practices over the years could have legal implications. Experts say that reports of any organization’s putting pressure on birth parents to go through with an adoption would raise concerns about whether those parents placed their children under duress—which can be grounds for invalidating consent and potentially overturning adoptions. And ANLC may be violating consumer-protection laws with a clause in its agreement that makes clients “agree not to talk negatively about ANLC’s efforts, service, positions, policies and employees with anyone, including potential Birth Parents, other adoption-related entities or on social media and other Internet platforms.” The federal Consumer Review Fairness Act of 2016 makes contract clauses that restrict consumer reviews illegal, as does the 2014 California “Yelp” bill.

“It would certainly be unlawful,” says Paul Levy, an attorney with the consumer-advocacy organization Public Citizen, who reviewed the agreement. “If they put this in the contract, what do they have to hide?”

Stories of enticement and pressure tactics in the private-adoption industry abound. Mother Goose Adoptions, a middle-man organization in Arizona, has pitched a “laptop for life” program and accommodations in “warm, sunny Arizona.” A Is 4 Adoption, a facilitator in California, made a payment of roughly $12,000 to a woman after she gave birth, says an attorney involved in the adoption case. While the company says it “adheres to the adoption laws that are governed by the state of California,” the lawyer, who asked to remain anonymous because they still work on adoptions in the region, says they told A Is 4 Adoption’s owner, “You should not be paying lump sums. It looks like you’re buying a baby.”

Jessalynn Speight worked for ANLC in 2015 and says private adoption is rife with problems: “It’s much more rampant than anyone can understand.” Speight, whose nonprofit Tied at the Heart runs retreats for birth parents, worries that the industry sometimes turns into a cycle of dependency, as struggling women place multiple children as a means of financial support. (The same incentive may also encourage scamming adoptive birth parents, with purported birth parents who don’t actually intend to place a child for adoption or are never even pregnant.) Anne Moody, author of the 2018 book The Children Money Can Buy, about foster care and adoption, says the system can amount to “basically producing babies for money.”

Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy, a birth-parent advocate and birth mother who blogs extensively about adoption, says she routinely hears of women facing expense-repayment pressures. Some states, such as California and Nevada, explicitly consider birth-parent expenses an “act of charity” that birth parents don’t have to pay back. In other states, though, nothing prohibits adoption entities from trying to obligate birth parents to repay expenses when a match fails.

“How is that not blackmail?” D’Arcy asks, emphasizing that in most states, fraud or duress can be a reason for invalidating a birth parent’s consent. According to Debra Guston, adoption director for the Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction Attorneys, conditioning support on a promise to repay or later demanding repayment if there is no placement is “at very least unethical.”

States are ostensibly in charge of keeping private-adoption entities in line. Agencies are generally licensed or registered with the relevant departments of health, human services or children and families. Attorneys practice under the auspices of a state bar. But even when misdeeds are uncovered, action may be anemic and penalties minimal. In 2007, Dorene and Kevin Whisler were set to adopt through the Florida-based agency Adoption Advocates. When the agency told the Whislers the baby was born with disabilities, the couple decided not to proceed with the adoption—but they later found out that the baby was healthy and had been placed with a different couple, for another fee. After news coverage of the case, Adoption Advocates found itself under investigation. In a 2008 letter to Adoption Advocates, the Florida department of children and families (DCF) wrote that it had found “expenses that are filed with the courts from your agency do not accurately reflect the expenses that are being paid to the natural mothers in many instances.” Although DCF temporarily put the organization on a provisional license, a spokesperson for the department says that after “enhanced monitoring for compliance,” it relicensed the company, and there have been no issues or complaints since. (When contacted, Adoption Advocates’ attorney replied that the company is “unable to respond to your inquiries regarding specific individuals or cases.”)

More recently, in 2018, the Utah department of human services (DHS) revoked the license of an agency called Heart and Soul Adoptions, citing violations ranging from not properly searching for putative fathers (a requirement in Utah) to insufficient tracking of birth-mother expenses. Rules prohibit anyone whose license is revoked from being associated with another licensed entity for five years. But a year later Heart and Soul owner Denise Garza was found to be working with Brighter Adoptions. DHS briefly placed Brighter on a conditional license for working with Garza but has since lifted all sanctions and never assessed any fines.

Enforcement is even harder when middlemen operate as consultants, facilitators or advertisers or under any number of other murky titles that critics believe are sometimes used to skirt regulations. There is little clarity on who is supposed to oversee these more amorphous intermediaries.

Jennifer Ryan (who sometimes goes by “Jennalee Ryan” or “Jennifer Potter”) was first a “facilitator” and is now a kind of middleman to adoption middle-men. Her “national online advertising service” refers expectant parents to lawyers (including her own son), facilitators and other intermediaries; as of November 2020, the company was charging these middlemen fees starting at $18,800 for each birth-mother match (with the idea that the cost is passed on to families). Ryan declined an interview but, in an email, she says she does approximately 400 matches annually. Among the websites Ryan operates are Chosen Parents and Forever After Adoptions, which both include a section that lists babies for adoption, sort of like a Craigslist ad. One example from last August: “AVAILABLE Indian (as in Southeast Asia India) Baby to be born in the state of California in 2021…Estimated cost of this adoption is $35000.”

Many advocates say they would like to see reforms to private adoption in the U.S. Even Yellin, a proponent of private-sector involvement in the adoption space, says there probably ought to be more regulation. But calls for systematic change have remained largely unheeded, and agreeing on exactly what should be done can be difficult.

Some believe the problem could be addressed with greater federal-level oversight—pointing to the foster-care system, which a division of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services helps administer, as an example (albeit an imperfect one). But Liversidge notes that family law has traditionally been a state issue and says that is where fixes should, and will likely need to, occur. She wants to see improvements such as an expansion of mandatory independent legal representation for birth parents, better tracking of adoption data and the reining in of excessive fees.

Illinois attempted to take a strong stand against adoption profiteering in a 2005 adoption-reform act, which barred out-of-state, for-profit intermediaries from engaging in adoption-related activities in the state. But Bruce Boyer, a law professor at Loyola University who championed the legislation, says, “We couldn’t get anyone to enforce it.” Only after much pushing and prodding, he adds, did advocates persuade the state to pursue a case against what Boyer called the “worst” offender: ANLC.

The Illinois attorney general filed a complaint in 2013 alleging that ANLC was breaking the law by offering and advertising adoption services in the state without proper licensing or approval. To fight the suit, ANLC retained a high-profile Chicago law firm, and within months, the parties had reached a settlement. ANLC agreed that it would not work directly with Illinois-based birth parents, but it did not admit any wrongdoing and called the resolution “fair and reasonable.” Boyer disagrees. “They caved,” he says of the state. “There were no meaningful consequences that came from a half-hearted attempt.” The attorney general’s office declined to comment.

What few changes have been made in adoption law are generally aimed at making the process easier for adoptive parents, who experts say tend to have more political and financial clout than birth parents. At the core of the inertia is lack of awareness. “There’s an assumption in this country that adoption is a win-win solution,” says Liversidge. “People don’t understand what’s going on.”

Many proponents of change would, at the very least, like to see private adoption move more toward a nonprofit model. “It’s a baby-brokering business. That’s really what it’s turned into,” says Kim Anderson, chief program officer at the Nebraska Children’s Home Society, a nonprofit that does private adoptions only in Nebraska (with a sliding fee based on income) and which rarely allows adoptive parents to pay expenses for expectant parents.

Whatever shape reform ends up taking—or mechanism it occurs through—advocates say it will require a fundamental shift and decommodification of how the country approaches private adoption. “A civilized society protects children and vulnerable populations. It doesn’t let the free market loose on them,” says Liversidge. Or, as Pertman puts it, “Children should not be treated the same as snow tires.”

Yellin kept working with ANLC as an attorney until late 2018. By then, she says adoption numbers had dropped significantly because of increased competition and a decreasing number of expectant mothers seeking to place their babies. But the company seems to still be very much in the adoption business. During the pandemic, Adoption Pro Inc., which operates ANLC, was approved for hundreds of thousands of dollars in stimulus loans, and its social media accounts suggest it has plenty of adoptive-parent clients. According to data from the search analytics service SpyFu, ANLC has also run hundreds of ads targeting expectant parents. For example, if you Googled the term “putting baby up for adoption” in January 2021, you might get shown an ANLC ad touting, “Financial & Housing Assistance Available.”

Meanwhile, Allan Gindi continues to play an advertising role for ANLC (and to use an “@adoptionnetwork.com” email address). Court documents connected to a bankruptcy case show that, in 2019, Gindi expected to make $40,000 per month in adoption-advertising income. (He says that number was not ultimately realized but did not provide any more details.) Lorber’s LinkedIn profile says that ANLC is a “$5 million dollar per year” business. “And that’s just one family in Southern California,” remarks Speight, who used to work for ANLC and who runs a birth-parent support nonprofit. “Think about all of the other adoption agencies where couples are paying even more money.”

Klupp’s Facebook feed still cycles through “memories” of posts she made when she was placing her son through ANLC. They’re mournful but positive, she says; in them, she tended to frame the decision as an unfortunate necessity that put her son in a loving home. “I thought everything was really great,” recalls Klupp, who has since immersed herself in the online adoption community. What she’s learned has slowly chipped away at the pleasant patina that once surrounded her adoption journey; such a shift is so common, it has a name, “coming out of the fog.”

“They take people who don’t have money and are scared, and they use your fear to set you up with an adoption that you can’t back out of,” Klupp says of the industry. “I’m sure even the parents that adopted my son … didn’t know half the stuff that went on behind the scenes. They probably paid this agency to find them a baby, and that’s what they cared about. And this agency takes this money from these people who are desperate.” Klupp isn’t anti-adoption; in fact, she’s been trying to adopt out of foster care. The problem, she says, is the profit. Today, she believes she has a better understanding of the extent to which ANLC influenced her and now views her decision as, at the very least, deliberately ill informed, if not outright coerced. She says she’s taken to deleting the Facebook posts about her son’s adoption as the reminders pop up—they’re too painful.

“It seems like the agencies have some universal handbook on how to convince doubtful moms,” she says. “I know in my heart that I would have kept my son if I had had the right answers.”

[Link in the notes]

6-27-20 COVID-19 News Dump

Recent news: >Florida records new daily high with nearly 10,000 COVID-19 cases archive.is/BU509 >Alcohol consumption suspended at Florida bars due to ‘widespread non-compliance’ amid coronavirus spike archive.is/PtHaa >SEVERAL SOUTH FLORIDA HOSPITALS REPORT LESS THAN 7% OF ICU BEDS AVAILABLE archive.is/T5x4V >Tweak in Florida's ICU bed reporting called ‘data manipulation’:The wording was changed from “current number of COVID + patients admitted into ICU beds” to “current number of COVID + (positive) patients currently receiving ICU level of care.” archive.is/A0UN5 >Maryland ‘reopen’ protest organizer sickened with COVID-19 >Walters declined an interview request from either newspaper, which reported that he said he would not provide any information to public health officials trying to trace the spread of the disease. archive.is/GmHFb >The surge continues: Utah reports 578 new COVID-19 cases Saturday, with one new death; St. George ICU nearing capacity archive.is/PITik >Residents are asked to self-quarantine after about 85 people who visited a Michigan bar get Covid-19 >"There are likely more people infected with Covid-19 not yet identified." >The bar followed safety guidelines for employees, capacity guidelines and table spacing, the statement said. archive.is/lfVLi >Chicago Sky guard Sydney Colson tests positive for COVID-19 >Speaking on a video call during the 2020 WNBA draft, Dolson said the virus hit home as her entire family contracted COVID-19. archive.is/RAq6N >Exclusive: Nearly 600 — And Counting — US Health Workers Have Died Of COVID-19 archive.is/flR9P >Kansas: Increase In COVID-19 Cases Related To Attendance At Wild Horse Saloon archive.is/dvKgB

More recent news: >Canada: Officials said there are 30,000 patients whose surgeries were postponed or not scheduled at all after the province put restrictions on non-urgent surgeries in mid-March. >It could take up to two years and at least $250 million in extra funding to address the extensive backlog of elective surgeries postponed in B.C. since the peak of its pandemic, the provincial government announced Thursday. archive.is/vvW3E >Bangladesh: Govt plans to charge for Covid-19 tests >Coronavirus suspects will not be able to test their samples for free anymore at state-run facilities as the health ministry is planning to introduce fees. archive.is/xq1Oj >South Africa: 775 Schools hit by Covid-19: 1169 teachers, 523 students infected archive.is/KXRue >COVID-19 Cases Increase As Testing Falls in Wisconsin archive.is/KuS89 >Florida:141 Duval County inmates test positive for COVID-19 >Reported cases nearly double >Of those cases, 70 were reported in a span of 24 hours. archive.is/D4FOg >COVID-19 victim posts haunting warning on Facebook days before death >EL PASO, Texas (KTSM) — One Texas family is in mourning after the sudden death of a family member from California who contracted COVID-19 at a party in California and now must wait two weeks to conduct funeral services. >Tommy Macias, 51, attended a party about two weeks ago and began to show symptoms a week later. >He posted an impassioned message on Facebook on lamenting previously ignoring social distancing and mask-wearing recommendations and expressed guilt for exposing his family. >“Because of my stupidity I put my mom and sisters’ and my family’s health in jeopardy. This has been a very painful experience,” he wrote. >“Hopefully with God’s help, I’ll be able to survive this.” >Macias was dead less than two days later. >14 more members of the family got infected also. archive.is/reWec

Additional recent news: >New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has directed the State Department of Health to investigate the potential COVID-19 exposure at a high school graduation ceremony in Westchester County. >An official press release said a person who had recently traveled to Florida, and attended the Horace Greeley High School ceremony, began showing symptoms from COVID-19, and then tested positive. >Officials say four more individuals in attendance have since tested positive for the coronavirus. archive.is/2aBoK This is a weird one from Stanford: >Stanford professor says rise in COVID-19 cases is proof that virus is tracking human behavior >“The virus would be very happy if we all went back and started socializing,” Dr. Siegel said. archive.is/eO1kH Panic buying returns: H-E-B limits toilet paper, paper towels as COVID-19 cases rise in San Antonio, Texas >The city has seen a significant uptick in COVID-19 cases and hospitalizations over the course of the last two weeks. Bexar County has 8,857 cases to date and the death toll resides at 105. archive.is/RfftD >A library in Michigan has had to ask its patrons to stop microwaving books in an apparent effort to kill COVID-19 archive.is/Xtr4H >Pence tries to declare coronavirus over as Trump pushes reopening and campaigning archive.is/k9Waz 1 week later: >New U.S. coronavirus cases break record; Pence cancels campaign events in Arizona, Florida archive.is/MIlqj

INTERVIEW with Brian Cook of SUMAC, Russian Circles, Botch, These Arms are Snakes, and Roy 

Brian Cook of the MANY gnarly bands listed above took time to answer a bunch of questions that had been burning a hole in my mind for years earlier today. Did you know that aside from playing bass in some of the heaviest bands currently in existence, Brian is also an avid record collector and he also runs a very similar page where he posts all of his records and writes up a bit of history and personal context with each one? A man after my own heart! I’ve dropped a link to his Tumblr below and you’d be a fool not to go check it out and follow his work there.

https://bubblesandgutz.tumblr.com⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

I really appreciated having a chance to talk to a very talented musician who also places a LOT of importance on physical medium and the recording process. All too often I get submissions from bands who either don’t know the in’s and out’s of the vinyl format or they took a lot of shortcuts and deprive their art a chance to really shine in the ways that vinyl allows. I picked Brian’s brain about his approach to creation of physical musical media as well as his history as a collector (and even tried to convince him to get These Arms are Snakes play my big gay wedding reception!). Thanks for taking the time to tell your story to us, Brian!

You've been a member of several incredible bands over the past few decades (Botch, Sumac, Russian Circles, These Arms Are Snakes), all of which have released pretty much everything they've recorded on vinyl. How important is the vinyl medium for you as a musician and creator?

Thanks for the kind words. It's really important to me for my music to have some sort of physical format. I realize that mode of thinking might seem sort of old school or outdated, but i've always been enamored by music as a kind of historical artifact. When I was younger, that meant it was important for me to have an actual Dead Kennedys cassette as opposed to a dubbed version from my friend. It was like the difference between owning a painting versus owning a xerox of a painting. When I became a musician, it was a sign of validation. By having a record with my name on it, I had created something that would potentially outlive me. And now in the digital age we've convinced ourselves that everything lives forever on the internet, but it's not true. Myspace just lost all their music. I've written for a lot of online music outlets that have closed shop or simply deleted old posts. Meanwhile, I have a trunk full of old zines that outlived the supposed permanence of blogs. So while the digital age is great for convenience and scope, creating a physical recording is really the more reliable way to make sure something exists for more than five to ten years, or however long it takes for the newest technological fad to become obsolete. Vinyl seems to be the longest lasting format, so it's my preferred medium. But if my music exists on tape or CD, that's fine too. 

Do you approach your recording and production processes with specific formats like vinyl in mind? If so, what do you do differently? Absolutely. The main concern is that we're dealing with the time constraints of vinyl. For bands like Russian Circles and SUMAC who have really long songs, it means we have to be careful how we sequence our records because we can easily exceed the 22-minutes-per-side rule. We've also been told by pressing plants that it's better to have long drones in the middle of an album side than at the beginning or end because there tends to be more surface noise at the beginning of a side and more warble at the end, and drones don't do much to mask these imperfections. But while one can complain about the limitations of vinyl, there are also issues with digital formats that can alter the way an album is put together. For example, the digital version of Empros has a longer drone at the end of "Batu" than the LP version, partially because of vinyl's limitations, but also because digital outlets like iTunes don't recognize records with long songs as full albums unless at least one track is longer than ten minutes. So we stretched it out on the digital version so that we'd be compensated appropriately for our work, but condensed it on vinyl so that we didn't compromise the sound quality.

Of all of the albums you've contributed to, which one stands out to you as the one you feel most connected to?

Probably Geneva by Russian Circles, if I had to pick one. We wrote that record over the span of several months at a house in rural Wisconsin. It was one of those ideal scenarios I'd always dreamed of---hunkering down in some isolated retreat and just immersing ourselves in the writing process. I've never walked away from an album feeling as accomplished as I did with that one. It just felt like we'd achieved something that had previously been out of my level of expertise. I think we've made better records since then, but I don't think I've ever felt as successful in making the sounds in my head translate to the recording. With regards to my other bands, I feel that way about Botch's We Are The Romans, These Arms Are Snakes' Easter, Roy's Killed John Train, and SUMAC's What One Becomes. But Geneva will always hold a special place.

How did you get into vinyl collecting and how does it play a part in your life?

I started buying vinyl around '92 because it was cheap. My first LP was Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet's Savvy Show Stoppers. I bought it for $2. Then I discovered 7"s, which was the dominant format for hardcore and punk bands at the time. Throughout high school, I mainly bought 7"s because i could buy 3 or 4 a week on my allowance. And let's be honest... most hardcore bands in the '90s had better 7"s than full albums. But vinyl was so dead at the time that you could also go to thrift stores and scoop up the entire Creedence Clearwater Revival discography for the cost of one CD. Even new vinyl was cheaper than their CD counterpart back then. So it's a bit of a drag now considering that vinyl is currently the most expensive format, but I still get a thrill from going to record stores, digging through crates, and coming home with a new LP. I can't say I buy that many 7"s anymore though.

What do you think about the relatively recent resurgence of large-scale vinyl production and collection?

It certainly has its advantages and disadvantages. I buy a lot of reissues just so I can have a clean, good-sounding copy, so I appreciate the resurgence in that regard. At the same time, the vinyl boom has made used record shopping a bit more of a drag. I don't know how many copies of Neil Young's Harvest I saw in used bins throughout the '90s and '00s, and then when I finally decided to buy a copy five years ago, it seemed like they'd all been snagged and the reissue was going for $50. When the Zeppelin discography got reissued a few years back, I mentioned wanting a new copy of Physical Graffiti to my husband. He went to our local indie record store in Brooklyn and asked the owner if they carried it and he totally balked at the question. "Why would we carry a reissue when you can buy a used copy of that in any record store for $5?" he said. My husband was like "every used Zeppelin record you carry is beat to shit and goes for at least $20... what the fuck are you even talking about?"

If you had to pare down your entire collection to no more than three albums, which would you keep?

What's the broader context? Like, are those the only three records I can listen to for the rest of my life? Or is it just a matter of only being allowed to own three records? If it's the former, I'd probably choose Bob Dylan's Blood on the Tracks, Miles Davis' In a Silent Way, and a Can album... either Ege Bamyasi or Soon Over Babaluma. Ask me tomorrow and I'd probably list off a different three. If it's the latter... like, if i'm merely holding onto records because the actual artifact means a lot to me but I can still listen to music in some other capacity, then I'd probably go with the His Hero Is Gone / Union of Uranus split LP, Undertow's At Both Ends, and Sticks & Stones Theme Songs For Nothing, just because those seem like a pain in the ass to replace and they're important records to me. I have records that are worth way more money, but I'm not someone who buys records because they're valuable. 

Do you have a "white whale" record you still haven't found?

Not really. For ages I resisted the urge to buy used records online, but I've since relented. The record that finally broke my ordering embargo was Hack's The Rotten World Around Us. They were a band from Adelaide, South Australia in the late '80/ early '90s who sounded like a grungier version of the first couple Swans records. Super heavy and scary. I got turned onto them through a 7" on Alternative Tentacles, but the LP was never available stateside. The first few times I toured Australia i went to every record store I could find in hopes of finding a copy. No one had ever heard of Hack. The singer was in another band called Grong Grong, and members of that band had gone on to be in King Snake Roost, Lubricated Goat, and Tumor Circus (with Jello Biafra on vocals), but no one had heard of them either. In my mind there was this rich underground of Australian noise rock from that time period that was still vital and valid, but the reality is that it was largely ignored and forgotten. I eventually found a copy online and bought it for $20. A year later i found a used copy in Boise. Oh well. I'd love to find Acme's To Reduce The Choir..., or an original copy of Popol Vuh's second album, or the Neu! 7", or the Greenlandic prog band Sume's Sumut album.

Hypothetically how much money would I need to raise to get These Arms Are Snakes to reunite to play my wedding reception? My family will hate it but my partner and I will be very happy, etc.

We still talk about doing some proper "farewell shows" since we bailed on doing them back in 2009/2010. Granted, now they'd be reunion shows, but in our hearts they'd be our proper goodbye. We're putting together a vinyl release of various odds and ends for next year, so maybe that'll give us an excuse to finally book something.

Arrow star Colton Haynes has opened up about his struggle to come out publicly as gay.

The 28-year-old, who came out a year ago, had been in the closet for much of his career.

 He told Huffington Post: “I’ve been told by so many people that you cannot be out and have a career.

“The craziest thing was my career actually became the best it’s ever been once I actually was true to myself.

“That happened, and it was the most amazing experience.

“I was in Paris the day that the EW article dropped, and I cried for three days straight.”

 He added: “It was amazing. Good cry, yeah. I was happy at the outpouring.”

He also revealed that Hollywood bosses forced him to date women to disguise his sexuality.

The actor told Andy Cohen’s radio show that he was originally forced to act heterosexual.

“I was literally told from the day that I moved to Los Angeles  that I could not be gay because I wouldn’t work,” Colton told Sirius XM  radio.

“The I was with my management team and team of  people that just literally told me I couldn’t be this way.”

“They tried to set me up with girls. I was  rumoured to date Lauren Conrad for six months because they were kind of  angling a story.”

Haynes, who  is now engaged to celebrity florist Jeff Leatham, revealed that he  lost his virginity to “a boy and a girl”.

“I’ve never said that before,” Haynes said  during the Andy Cohen Live interview.

“The girl was two years older than me, and the  guy was, I would say, around 16.

“Everyone participated. It was a real first  time. It was exciting.”

However the experiences were on separate  occasions, not at the same time, he revealed.

Haynes did not elaborate on which came first,  but did reveal he has slept with four women in his life.

--------

Colton Haynes is not  only eager to start a new chapter in his career, but the actor is also ready  to let us in on more of his personal story.

The Arrow star, who recently walked away from the  hit TV show and Teen Wolf, has come out as gay. During an  interview with Entertainment  Weekly, Haynes touched on a previous social media post that  put his sexuality in question.

A Tumblr post in January regarding old racy modeling photos  sparked speculation after a fan commented on Haynes' "secret gay  past." Haynes coyly responded to the media frenzy with, "Was it a  secret?"

His response was taken as his confirmation of being gay,  however that wasn't case. At least, not at the time. "It was a complete  shock. I wasn't ready to be back in the headlines," he said.

"I  should have made a comment or a statement, but I just wasn't ready. I didn't  feel like I owed anyone anything. I think in due time, everyone has to make  those decisions when they're ready, and I wasn't yet. But I felt like I was  letting people down by not coming forward with the rest of what I should have  said."

Following  the reports, the 27-year-old star checked into rehab for anxiety and returned  to the hospital frequently over the next three months.

According to the interview, Haynes had never publicly  addressed his sexuality, but has been out for most of his life. Those closest  to the actor, from his family and friends to his cast members and Hollywood  bosses, already knew.

It wasn't until now that Haynes felt ready and willing to talk  about sexuality with the general public. "I'd go home and I was still  acting," he admitted. "People who are so judgmental about those who  are gay or different don't realize that acting 24 hours a day is the most  exhausting thing in the world." 

Regardless, the path Colton took ultimately brought him here,  and here  is a much better place for the young star. "I'm happier than I've ever  been, and healthier than I've ever been, and that's what I care about."

Haynes  tweeted the article and told fans, "I believe in livin life to the  fullest & takin control of your life story. More to come."

 ---------

 Colton Haynes has said coming out as gay "changed [his]  life for the better."

The 28-year-old actor - who is currently engaged  to celebrity florist Jeff Leatham - made the confession during an interview  in May 2016, and has said that whilst it took him a while to be  "comfortable enough" to speak about his sexuality, he admits he's  now "proud" of who he is.

During a Q&A session on Entertainment  Weekly's Tumblr account, Colton was asked by a fan what advice he could give  to others who are struggling with their sexuality, and he wrote: "I can  honestly say that it takes time to be comfortable enough to come out...it has  to be on your own time but when i did...it changed my life for the better! It  opened up so many doors for me and i dont have to feel like the elephant in  the room anymore. Theres so much support i never knew was available for me  and i am so proud to say that i am gay and it hasnt done anything to hurt what  i love to do in life. Times are thankfully changing (sic)"

But it wasn't smooth sailing for the 'Teen Wolf'  actor, as he also admitted he went through an "intense struggle"  and even suffered a "breakdown" before he could come to terms with  his sexuality.

When one fan asked if it was a challenge to come  out, and Colton wrote: "It was an intense struggle for years. All the  self shame lead me to have a breakdown and i had to quite for a while. Once i  came out it all went away. I got multiple offers for work and honestly havent  felt better. It changes your life and if someone isnt going to hire me for  being born the way that i am...they dont deserve my time or energy.  (sic)"

And when the 'Arrow' star was asked where he  would see himself in 10 years time, he admitted he wants to have "at  least three kids" with Jeff.

He replied: "HMMMMMM, I will be married.  have at least 3 kids. Will still dye my greys. Will own a 69 corvette  stingray. Will hopefully have at least one ab. And will still be trying to be  the head writer of the Taco Bell sauce packets (sic)"

“I’ll Be Gone In The Dark” And The Golden State Killer

It’s indisputable that Michelle McNamara had a passion for true crime. She ran the popular blog, True Crime Diary, in which she wrote profound true crime articles, predominantly about missing persons and unsolved murders. She had a mind for detail. She referred to herself as a “citizen sleuth” meaning that she wasn’t in a law enforcement career nor was she a private investigator but she was drawn to crime and conducted her own investigation and research with the sources that were available to her.

She was a mother to Alice and a wife to the comedian and writer, Patton Oswalt. The couple met in 2003 at one of his comedy shows. They went on several dates and bonded over their fascination of true crime. She was practically a true crime encyclopaedia and could easily retain information about each and every case she researched. There was one case, however, that never left her mind: The Golden State Killer, also commonly known as The Original Night Stalker and The East Area Rapist. 

As a matter of fact, it was actually McNamara who coined the nickname “The Golden State Killer,” hoping that a catchier moniker would draw much-needed attention to the case. “One of the uncomfortable truths about tracking and catching serial killers is, marketing matters,” she said. She believed that the nickname “The Original Night Stalker” was easily confused with Richard Ramirez, the sadistic serial killer who terrorized California between 1984 and 1985. The media dubbed Ramirez “The Night Stalker.” To make matters even more confusing, The Golden State Killer was generally identified on the internet as EAR/ONS. “It’s clumsy. This guy benefited from not having a name people knew,” she said.

The Golden State Killer’s crime spree started in 1976 with a rape in Rancho Cordova, California, and finished 10 years later with a murder in Irvine, Orange County, California. Between 1976 and 1979, the unidentified sadist attacked and raped almost 50 women in California. He would gain access to their home in the dead of the night by prying open a window or a door. Once inside, he’d shine a flashlight into the eyes of the sleeping resident. If a man was present, he would be tied up first and the unidentified man would place plates on his back, telling him that if he moved, the plates would rattle and he would “kill everything in the house.”

The man of the house would be forced to listen to his wife being raped in the room next door.

In 1977, investigators held a series of town hall meetings in regards to the sexual assaults. During one, a man stood up and exclaimed that if the masked rapist ever came to his house, he would kill him to protect his wife. Just several months later, that man and his wife were attacked. The serial–rapist was seemingly at that very meeting – a truly chilling thought.

Seemingly unsatisfied, he switched up his modus operandi and turned to murder. Between 1979 and 1986, he murdered at least twelve men and women and attempted to murder one more. The crimes associated with The Golden State Killer were particularly gruesome. Most victims would be bound with wire or rope and then the woman of the house would be raped. When the killer was finished, he would either shoot or bludgeon his victims to death. In May of 1986, 18-year-old Janelle Cruz became the last victim. She was bludgeoned with such force that her mouth was completely obliterated; she swallowed her own teeth.

The killer would periodically call his surviving-victims on the phone and taunt them. The police would later release several of these bone-chilling phone calls in the hopes that somebody would recognise his voice. In one, he can he heard breathing very heavily down the line before whispering: “I’m gonna kill you,” over and over again. While law enforcement knows his DNA profile, they still have not been successful in matching it to a suspect.

Michelle McNamara knew that the case needed more recognition if she ever wanted to see it solved. Examining police reports, interviewing victims and family members, and embedding herself into the online community that was as obsessed with the case as she was, Michelle started to write an investigative book on the case titled “I’ll Be Gone in The Dark.” She signed her first book deal with Harper Collins.

She always hoped for a Hollywood ending. She anticipated that one day, she could finally identify the elusive killer. Fate had a different plan, however, and Michelle tragically passed away on the 14th of April, 2016, before she had the chance to complete her book. While wearing herself out desperately attempting to close in on the killer, Michelle accidentally overdosed on a combination of Adderall, Xanax and Fentanyl. One could say that Michelle was The Golden State Killer’s final victim.

Her autopsy concluded that she also suffered from an undiagnosed heart condition which played a part in her death. She was just 46-years-old.

It didn’t take Michelle’s husband long to reach the decision that all of his wife’s hard-work wouldn’t be in vain. The book had consumed her life and it was a very big part of her. He decided that it needed to be finished and her hard work recognised. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to complete the book alone so enlisted the help of her lead researcher, Paul Haynes, as well as her colleague, Billy Jensen. “One of the things I could like more than anything is to be able to bring it across the finish line. Michelle’s work could well be the key to finally identifying the Golden State Killer,” said Jensen.

In a Facebook post about the book, Oswalt said he hopes the book will lead to the apprehension of The Golden State Killer. “I can’t help feeling that somewhere, in her final pages, she left enough clues for someone to finish the job she couldn’t – to put California’s worst serial killer behind bars.” Michelle had hoped that too. In a letter to the killer that is included at the end of “I’ll Be Gone in the Dark,” she addresses him directly and tells him that his as an innocent man is nearly up:

“This is how it ends for you.

“You’ll be silent forever, and I’ll be gone in the dark,” you threatened a victim once.

Open the door. Show us your face.

Walk into the light.”

Otto Radio now has Michelle McNamara’s revolutionary book, “I’ll Be Gone in The Dark,” with an introduction by Gillian Flynn and an afterword by Patton Oswalt. Not only is the book a haunting insight into one of America’s most notorious unidentified serial killers but it also offers a portrayal of one woman’s obsession and tireless pursuit for truth and for justice.

Can you crack the case? Listen to the audiobook now to find out.

Jeff Bezos Old Pictures

Amazon’s chief Jeff Bezos is the first person with a net worth surpassing $150 billion in the 3 decades that Forbes has tracked the richest people around the world. Here is Jeff Bezos Then And Now photos to show you the amazing transformation of Jeff Bezos. Bezos is now the richest man in modern history on an inflation-adjusted basis.

Jeff Bezos With Hair Images

Jeff Bezos Old Images

Jeff Bezos Old Pictures

Jeff Bezos Children Photos

Emma Mcintyre/Getty Images

By/April 10, 2020 4:08 pm EDT/Updated: April 10, 2020 4:08 pm EDT

2.8m Followers, 0 Following, 166 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Jeff Bezos (@jeffbezos).

Browse 3,460 jeff bezos stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. Showing Editorial results for jeff bezos.

Have you heard of Jeff Bezos? What about a little company called Amazon? The founder and CEO of the online retail Goliath is the richest man in the world as of 2020, according to Forbes. But the saying goes that behind every great man is a great woman, and in this case that's his former wife MacKenzie Bezos. The two were married for 25 years — from the early days before Amazon even existed — until the pair publicly divorced in 2019.

Throughout the years, MacKenzie has given only a few interviews, despite her husband's notoriety. A self-professed wallflower, she told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 'I am not a natural for big groups because I am such an introvert.' After the Bezos' split, MacKenzie's already almost non-existent online presence shrank even further. But that's easy to do when yo have the right resources — which she does thanks to a jaw-dropping divorce settlement.

Intrigued? Keep reading for all of the details we could uncover about Jeff Bezos' ex-wife MacKenzie Bezos.

MacKenzie Bezos' true passion

MacKenzie Bezos' is first and foremost an author. She attended Princeton University, where she earned her degree in English, and worked with famous American author Toni Morrison as a research assistant, according to Forbes. After graduation, writing didn't come so easily. 'There was so much trial and error and learning to trust yourself,' Bezos told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer of the writing process, adding, 'I did try to work on it eight hours a day, although there were times when I couldn't.' It was only 'fear and shame' the propelled Bezos to complete her debut novel, The Testing of Luther Albright. 'It took eight years, although there were kids in there with a little maternity leave,' she said. 'And it did feel like an awfully long time. There were so many different books on the way to this book — I probably did three or four complete rewrites.'

After the release in 2005, she got to work on the follow up. Staying consistent, Bezos released her second novel, Traps, in 2013. Ironically, Bezos went with traditional publishing houses — HarperCollins and Knopf Doubleday — for her two novels despite her husband's own publishing companies under the Amazon umbrella. According to The New York Times, 'When asked by an interviewer why Ms. Bezos wasn't publishing her books through Amazon's fiction imprints, Mr. Bezos jokingly described his wife as 'the fish that got away.'

MacKenzie Bezos took the pledge

Throughout her career, MacKenzie Bezos donated to various charitable causes. Per The New York Times, 'The Bezoses' charitable contributions have been modest in the past. In 2011, they donated $15 million to their alma mater to create a center to study the brain. The following year, they gave $2.5 million to support a same-sex marriage referendum in Washington' — their home state and location of Amazon's headquarters. A few years later, Bezos used her influence to fight back against bullies. 'In 2014, she founded Bystander Revolution, an anti-bullying organization,' according to her Forbes profile. The organization consists of tips, testimonials, and video campaigns featuring celebrities like Melissa Joan Hart and Jared Leto, before his uncomfortable interviews later on.

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Despite all the hardship that goes along with divorce, Bezos still found the generosity to give back to the world. In 2019, 'shortly after she announced the terms of the divorce on Twitter, she signed the Giving Pledge,' according to Forbes. This group consists of the wealthiest individuals in the world who have all promised to donate 'the majority of their wealth' to charity. Some of the most famous members are Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates and his equally impressive wife Melinda Gates. 'My approach to philanthropy will continue to be thoughtful. It will take time and effort and care,' Bezos said in her Giving Pledge profile. 'But I won't wait. And I will keep at it until the safe is empty.'

The Bezos' were just your everyday, next-door billionaires

In addition to all the writing and life as a billionaire, MacKenzie Bezos is a mom to four children. Residents of 'a $10 million mansion in Medina, Wash.' since 1999, the Jeff Bezos and MacKenzie also started their family that year. 'As they rapidly accumulated wealth, the Bezos family took pains to preserve the trappings of normalcy,' per The New York Times. According to author Brad Stone, via the article, 'Ms. Bezos often drove the four children to school in a Honda, and would then drop Mr. Bezos at the office.' That office, of course, is Amazon headquarters. Can you imagine Jeff getting out at the curb with a briefcase and bag lunch in tow?

Life at home for billionaire parents must come with many unique challenges. But according to MacKenzie, she said there was plenty of positivity in the mansion. 'All of our kids are big laughers, as you would expect with a goofy dad like that,' she told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. 'There is a lot of laughter in our household,' she added. MacKenzie also appears to deeply care about providing the most for her children. Speaking with The New York Times, ex-husband Jeff shared one of MacKenzie's go-to mottos: 'I would much rather have a kid with nine fingers than a resourceless kid,' reported The New York Times.

How MacKenzie Bezos met Jeff Bezos

MacKenzie Bezos met her future husband and later billionaire Jeff Bezos at their place of work. According to Forbes, the pair first crossed paths in 1992 'when they both worked at hedge fund D.E. Shaw' in New York City. She actually interviewed with Jeff and he offered her a job, although she took a job in another department. Eclipse java jdk 64 bit. 'But then as luck would have it, (I) got assigned an office right next door to his. And through the walls I would hear him laughing that giant laugh, all day long. And it was totally love at first listen,' she revealed in an interview with Charlie Rose.

The pair instantly connected. 'Within three months of dating, the two were engaged; they married shortly thereafter at a resort in West Palm Beach, Fla. Mr. Bezos was 30; Ms. Bezos was 23,' reported The New York Times. The newlyweds packed up everything and moved to Seattle, Wash. the following year in 1994. And what about Jeff's side of the story? 'I think my wife is resourceful, smart, brainy, and hot, but I had the good fortune of having seen her résumé before I met her, so I knew exactly what her SATs were,' he told Vogue in an interview. But good luck getting those scores. 'I'll never tell,' he confessed.

Life before the high profile

Long before attending college and marrying a future billionaire, MacKenzie Bezos (née Tuttle) was just a normal kid. She 'grew up in San Francisco, a middle child with two siblings' (via Forbes), with a 'father who was a financial planner and a mother who cheerfully stayed home to cook meals and decorate the house,' according to Vogue. The magazine elaborated that Bezos 'was bookish and shy, the kind of girl who would spend hours alone in her bedroom writing elaborate stories.' And these elaborate stories were no small task. According to her Amazon author profile, Bezos 'wrote her first book when she was six years old, a 142-page chapter book entitled The Book Worm.' Sadly, 'the sole handwritten copy was reduced to a soup of pulp' after a flood in her childhood home. Bezos elaborated about the incident in an interview with Charlie Rose. 'I learned my lesson and I was .. really good at backing up my work in college and I never lost anything again.'

According to Forbes, Bezos' parents 'sent her to Hotchkiss, the Connecticut boarding school, where she graduated a year early.' After, she first 'studied at Cambridge, then Princeton, where she majored in English.' One of her English professors at Princeton, Jeff Nunokawa, remembers that Bezos 'was generally a very poised and a quiet and brilliant presence.' Somehow, an English degree led to a job at a hedge fund, where she would meet the man that would completely change her life.

Amazon comments, by MacKenzie Bezos

Though she runs an anti-bullying organization — Bystander Revolution — it doesn't mean MacKenzie Bezos stood quietly by if someone trashed her husband. On Bezos' Amazon reviewer profile, she has only three book reviews. Two are from 2001, well before she published her own books. And a review from 2013 questions the content in the book The Everything Store: Jeff Bezos and the Age of Amazon by Brad Stone. 'Everywhere I can fact check from personal knowledge, I find way too many inaccuracies, and unfortunately that casts doubt over every episode in the book,' she said as part of her one-star review. It's hard to question her criticism, when she claimed 'I have firsthand knowledge of many of the events.' She added, in summary, 'Ideally, authors are careful to ensure people know whether what they are reading is history or an entertaining fictionalization.' Best nation in war thunder 2.

Jeff Bezos With Hair Images

Though according to Stone 'most of the readers and reviewers have been inspired by Amazon's story,' he still felt obliged to respond, he said in an interview for The New York Times. 'To me, it's not an unflattering account,' he added. Stone also penned an article for Bloomberg News, because even though he said, 'negative feedback happens all the time' for books — the weight of a review from MacKenzie prompted his defense. 'Mrs. Bezos mostly took me to task for what she perceived were subtle biases in my story. I'll own up to that.'

Jeff Bezos Old Images

The multi-billion dollar divorce

Only nine days into 2019, Jeff Bezos posted on his twitter account a statement signed by him and his wife, MacKenzie Bezos. 'We have decided to divorce and continue our shared lives as friends,' the pair said. Immediately, the world began discussing this unprecedented split. As The New York Times noted, 'there has never been a divorce with a couple worth an estimated $137 billion, as Mr. and Ms. Bezos are.' What would happen to all that money? The Times also noted that 'the Bezoses' primary residence and business are in Washington State, a community property state where any income earned or wealth created during the marriage is to be divided equitably between spouses.'

MacKenzie provided insight into the arrangements in her only Twitter post ever. 'Grateful to have finished the process of dissolving my marriage with Jeff,' she wrote in a statement posted on April 4, 2019. The author shared that she gave Jeff 'all of my interests in the Washington Post' along with a big portion of her Amazon stake. But even with her remaining shares, MacKenzie landed a big pay day with the split. 'The couple finalized their divorce in July, with MacKenzie getting 25% of his Amazon stock,' Forbes reported in October 2019. At the time, the equalled $36.1 billion. Even with that absurd amount of money, some felt it was still too low. 'She should have gotten 50% of the company,' since 'MacKenzie was an equal partner to Jeff in the early days,' claimed Nick Hanauer, an initial investor in Amazon.

MacKenzie Bezos learned a lot about life in college

MacKenzie Bezos obviously wasn't born a multi-billionaire. In fact, this mom and established author worked hard through school, which led her to an ivy league education, and a pivotal role in building one of the biggest companies in the history of the world. Naturally, she faced difficulties along the way. As she explained to Charlie Rose, for all those challenges, whether seemingly big or small, people 'can look at them and say 'Ugh, this is a setback,' or you can know, 'This might be an opportunity. Where's this going to take me? What am I going to be grateful for? What's great about this problem?'

The author talked about her struggles and worries when applying to universities. 'I went off to college knowing I was going to have to work a variety of jobs to put myself through school. Maybe 30 hours a week on top of my course load,' she revealed to the host. After Princeton accepted the young woman, Bezos remembered thinking, 'I hope that I can juggle these jobs and still get the most out of my education.' Things fortunately worked out for the best. 'What turned out to happen is that the jobs and the juggling were half the education I got,' she told Rose, adding that, in the end, putting in the extra work really wasn't 'a setback,' but rather, 'an opportunity.'

Home sweet homes

Where would you live if you were one of the richest people in the world? Clearly, MacKenzie and Jeff Bezos reached a point during their long marriage where they could afford to live literally wherever they wanted. But before Amazon became one of the biggest companies in the world, the couple lived in simple accommodations after making the move to Washington state. Back in 1999, Wired reported that 'MacKenzie and Jeff, who've lived till now in a one-bedroom rental in downtown Seattle, also recently went shopping for a house, spending a reported $10 million for a rustic mansion alongside Lake Washington in a neighborhood littered with Microsoft millionaires.'

With a shared mansion, MacKenzie still couldn't find the space and peace of mind to work on her main career, writing novels. In 2013, Vogue reported that 'to make sure she gets in a full, undistracted day of writing, Bezos rents a one-bedroom apartment close to her family home.' Of course, her duties as a mom still came first. The article claimed 'when the school day ends, she is the one who picks the kids up and drops them off in her Honda minivan, the quintessential Mom-mobile.'

The famous mentor of MacKenzie Bezos

When choosing colleges to pursue a major in English, MacKenzie Bezos decided on Princeton University, in part for the famous author working on the staff. That was the late Toni Morrison, author of Song of Solomon and Beloved, who went on to win the 1993 Nobel Prize in Literature, which made her the first African-American woman to earn the honor, via The New York Times. Speaking about Morrison in an interview with Charlie Rose, Bezos said, 'Yes. It was a huge opportunity for me. I had always loved her work and you could take courses with her freshman year.' The two worked with each other throughout Bezos' education, and Morrison 'ended up being (Bezos') thesis advisor.' Bezos added, '(Morrison) was an amazingly supportive teacher, really good at bringing out the best and guiding you through that process, and very supportive after I left school, too.'

The Nobel laureate also spoke highly of her former student, calling Bezos 'one of the best students I've ever had in my creative-writing classes .. really one of the best,' reported Vogue. The magazine also revealed that Morrison connected Bezos to Amanda 'Binky' Urban, who became her literary agent. Morrison also wrote the cover review for Bezos' first novel, The Testing of Luther Albright, which she called 'a rarity: a sophisticated novel that breaks and swells the heart' (via The New York Times).

How exactly did MacKenzie Bezos help create Amazon?

Yes, Jeff Bezos is the founder and CEO of Amazon, but his ex-wife, MacKenzie Bezos played a big part in the development back when the company was a humble startup. According to The New York Times, 'She was an integral part of its origin story, driving to Seattle in 1994 while Mr. Bezos sat in the passenger seat, working on the nascent company's business plan,' The outlet also claimed she was the company's first accountant, and via an excerpt Brad Stone's The Everything Store: Jeff Bezos and the Age of Amazon, also noted that 'she helped brainstorm names for the company and even shipped early orders through UPS.'

In what Wired described as 'delicious irony,' MacKenzie and Jeff started building Amazon inside of a Barnes & Noble. You remember, that giant brick-and-mortar book retailer that was nearly driven out of existence by Amazon? Anyway, according to the tech outlet, '(Barnes & Noble) also served as a venue for business meetings with outsiders. MacKenzie Bezos even negotiated the company's first freight contracts there.' An early employee at Amazon, Tod Nelson, told Forbes that MacKenzie played a vital role in the start of the e-commerce platform. 'No one really had job titles .. so she did just about everything,' he claimed.

Billions on top of billions in net worth

Jeff Bezos Old Pictures

MacKenzie Bezos didn't marry a billionaire — she helped make one out of Jeff Bezos. She played an integral part in the early days of Amazon, became a mother of four, and published two novels along the way. When the pair divorced, 'she received 4% of the Amazon stake' so according to Forbes, MacKenzie was worth around $40 billion as of April 2020. Although she 'sold, gifted or transferred about $350 million worth of Amazon shares, equivalent to 1% of her Amazon stock,' Forbes reported, she is still one of the wealthiest women in the world.

What would you do with all that money? As the Bezoses' wealth accumulated, she and Jeff found creative ways to spend some money for quality fun time with the whole family. As Wired revealed, by 1999 life was already starting to get good. 'Jeff and MacKenzie's Christmas gift to everyone a year ago was laser-tag guns and vests, which, combined with the walkie-talkies his parents offered up, served as weapons in a nighttime game of laser-enhanced Capture the Flag on Amelia Island,' the enchanting spot off the Florida coast. And according to Jeff's mother, he had an unfair advantage with 'a pair of night-vision goggles MacKenzie had given him.'

Jeff Bezos Children Photos

Okay, admittedly laster tag doesn't really put into perspective exactly how well-off the Bezos truly are, so how's this? In 2017 and 2018, Jeff reportedly earned $8,961,187 — per hour.

WrestleMania 36

Welcome to my annual WrestleMania-week entry where I recap the previous year’s WrestleMania (WM). Please indulge me for a bit, because the 2020 show had so many unprecedented circumstances going into it that it will require a bit of a prologue before I evaluate the card. For those that remember 2020’s installment of WWE’s biggest PPV of the year, it will be remembered as a WM like no other (hopefully!). For the better part of the latter half of WM history, the event has transpired in mammoth outdoor stadiums and/or sports arenas, oftentimes with inflated attendance numbers of well over 50,000. WWE would spare no expense with elaborate entrance stage sets, live band/artist performances, major celebrity/sports guests, etc. That all changed with 2020’s WrestleMania 36. WWE was set to roll forward with a pirate-themed WM, with countless pirate-themed ads, signage and a meticulous CG montage of WWE wrestlers decked out in pirate gear, and animated waves splashing against them while doing heroic sword-slashing poses to open the show. However, as we all know by now plans drastically altered, when with under a month before WM36’s original date of April 5th, the worldwide Co-Vid pandemic was declared on March 11th. This promptly shutdown a majority of travel and businesses internationally for the better part of the next two months before businesses and travel restrictions started to ease up, at least here in the United States. No one knew how long the shutdown was going to last, so WWE hastily taped the matches at their Performance Center training facilities, while rumored the tapings lasted up until the final hours before the lockdown went into effect in Florida.

This would mean for the first time in WM history, the even would be taped, and not on a short several hour delay ala Summerslam ‘92, but taped a couple weeks in advance! WWE officials allegedly were warning of severe consequences if spoilers leaked. Upon re-watching this WM36, it is still jaw-dropping to see the show associated with said large sports arenas and near six figures of fans was now emanating in front of ZERO fans in a small black-curtained off area of a training facility. Since the Network-era of WM PPVs in 2014, most of the events have went notoriously long around the six-to-seven hour mark when factoring in a two hour pre-show. While WWE was marketing yet another loaded 16-match card that would likely last that long, it seemed highly undesirable to force fans to watch that long of a show with zero fan atmosphere so WWE for the first time split WM into two nights on April 4th and 5th. On previous WM recaps here I advocated for two-night WMs because those one night marathons pushed alert limits to new levels, so I was relieved to hear WWE announce the two-night event. Keep in mind this was a few weeks into the pandemic, well before WWE started experimenting with NXT talent as fans for a couple months before eventually settling on the ubiquitous video walls of virtual fans at the Thunderdome that major WWE telecasts currently transpire in.

Usually the yearly WWE Hall of Fame ceremony is included with the BluRay as a bonus feature, but the 2020 ceremony that was slated to happen on WM36 weekend was postponed a year, and transpired earlier this week the same night with the 2021 inductees. Out of sheer habit and self-imposed obligation, I will give a quick breakdown of the 2020 half of the ceremony. It took place at the Thunderdome with Jerry Lawler back hosting, and in order to breeze through so many inductions there was no inductors, and some inductees like the Bellas were told they had a five minute time limit for their speeches. The 2020 Hall of Fame class is the nWo (Hulk Hogan, Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Sean Waltman), British Bulldog, Jushin Thunder Liger, Nickie & Brie Bella, Justin Bradshaw Layfield, Warrior Award winner Titus ‘O Neil and representing the celebrity wing: William Shatner. Dave Batista was supposed to be inducted too, but he postponed his induction because of a scheduling conflict and wanted to accept in person. It was kind of odd seeing the Hall of Fame done with virtual fans, but WWE did their best with piping in artificial fan noise at appropriately timed references and jokes, and even fake chants when the hall of famers hit their catchphrases. A nice video recap aired for each inductee, and then most inductees gave roughly five minute speeches. JBL kicked off, and for a five minute speech he hit as many key highlights as he could in that short time allocated, and had a nice closing where he teased a heartfelt apology to locker room rivals. Some inductees like Shatner and Liger could not attend, but sent in brief, pre-recorded acceptance speeches. One inadvertent positive side effect was Liger’s speech was translated through subtitles, and there was no pauses to wait for the translator that would happen if it was done live. Shatner’s breezy speech took a fun jab at Lawler, and was to the point. Between each induction, brief backstage interviews were done with current WWE stars acknowledging how big a night this was for the legends and shared past stories and memories. Davey Boy Smith’s son, Harry, alongside Bulldog’s widow, Diana and Matilda’s granddaughter, Huffy, gave an affectionate induction to his father.

The “Legacy Wing” of the Hall of Fame occurred next, and the 2020 class was represented by Ray Stevens, Brickhouse Brown, “Dr. Death” Steve Williams, Baron Michele Leone and Gary Hart. A very deserving Titus ‘O Neil was recognized with the annual Warrior Award for his countless philanthropic efforts, and Titus gave an inspirational and heartwarming acceptance. The Bellas were expectedly on brand with their speeches, and each of the four nWo members shared some fun Monday Night Wars tales, except for Scott Hall who said only about 20 words. Hogan teased he never lost the nWo Title and that he would make a return to defend it. All told the 2020 portion of the ceremony was about an hour and a half, making it the shortest WWE Hall of Fame ceremony in quite some time! 2020 was undoubtedly a tough year on everyone. Come that WM36 weekend I, like many others, was in a rough place. Being a few weeks into the pandemic I had no idea what to make sense of on the news. I originally had a vacation planned for a week starting a few days before WM where I was going to be travelling out of town for a retro videogame convention I try and hit up most years, and it would have conveniently wrapped up shortly before WM started. As anticipated, the convention was cancelled, and in a crazy coincidence the day before I originally was planning to leave a water pipe burst in my home and my place had all kinds of water damage and furniture moved around for several days before it was all put back into place and cleaned up. Adding to the coincidental timing, night one of WM happened to be on my birthday, and this was early in the pandemic before masks were widely available and a lot of adherence to the lockdown and social distancing was being recommended and I felt gutted when family members wanted to celebrate and all I told them I felt safe doing was briefly visiting a few of them on my driveway. Needless to say, with all that going on my headspace had seen better days, and having WM36 to selfishly fall back on that weekend was a modicum of respite I desperately needed.

Thank you for indulging me with all that prefacing. With that all out of the way, it is time to move onward to looking at night one of WM36. Both nights of WM36 had a half hour kickoff show, with one match on each kickoff show that are included as BluRay bonuses. Night one saw Cesaro and Drew Gulak tear it up in a hard-hitting, five minute technical showcase with Cesaro getting the win with a momentous Airplane Spin. Stephanie McMahon gave a special introduction to the unique circumstances that were forced upon WM36 once the show officially began. I will give props to WWE for their contingency plan when their planned special artist to sing “America the Beautiful” could not make the event, and instead WWE went with a medley/montage of all past WM artists and bands like Little Richard, Aretha Franklin, Boyz 2 Men, Ray Charles and many more singing the anthem that traditionally kicks off WM. From there, four-time Super Bowl winner and host of WM36, Rob Gronkowski welcomed everyone, and his real-life friend and WWE star, Mojo Rawley, joined him in the hosting balcony. The first official WM36 match was for the Women’s Tag Titles with Asuka & Kari Sayne defending against Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross. I miss Kari Sayne, and am still in disbelief how WWE wrote her off TV a few months later via implied murder! Kari & Asuka’s foreign taunting and screaming helped fill the void of no crowd noise to an extent, but was not enough for them to retain after Alexa pinned Kari with her Twisted Bliss to win the gold for her and Nikki. Baron Corbin faced Elias who Baron thought would be unable to compete after recently tossing him off a balcony, but Elias made it in time to whack Baron with a guitar, and eventually Corbin’s jawjacking with the ref got the best of him as Elias capitalized with a roll-up for the win in this brief fan favorite arc of his character. Becky Lynch defended the RAW Women’s Title against Shayna Baszler next. Becky was near the end of her red-hot year+ long reign as champ here, but this bout had a peculiar build highlighted by Shayna bloodily biting Becky’s ear. This also-peculiar match saw Becky mostly taking a ground attack beating from Shayna until Becky pulled off a reverse pinning combination for the sudden win.

Sami Zayn defended his Intercontinental Title next against Daniel Bryan. Zayn was accompanied by Cesaro & Shinsuke Nakamura while Bryan was seconded by Drew Gulak. Interference from all three played a factor throughout this intense battle, with a distracted Bryan falling victim to Sami’s Haluva Kick for the victory. The Smackdown Tag Titles were on the line next in a triple threat ladder match, but with only one member from each team due to Miz being quarantined for Co-Vid symptoms. So that meant John Morrison defended the tag titles solo against Kofi Kingston of the New Day and Jimmy Uso. The three did not disappoint with many creative highspots and sequences, with a unique finish that saw all three unhook the tag titles at the same time and Morrison collapsing off the ladder with the titles after a tug-of-war battle with them to successfully retain the titles. Seth Rollins faced Kevin Owens next, and Owens continued his awesome tradition of paying homage to vintage WM posters, with a nod to WMIV’s poster design on his shirt. Rollins DQ’d himself early in the match after using the ring bell, but Owens goads Rollins into restarting the match with No DQ. This time Owens repeatedly hits Rollins with the bell to lay him out long enough for Owens to climb on top of the WM sign to deliver a Cannonball Splash through the announcer’s table in an eye-opening spot. Owens then dragged a lifeless Seth to the ring to execute a Stunner for the win. A WM host check-in with Mojo and Gronk was interrupted by Hardcore 24/7 champion, R-Truth, who was seeking refuge from all comers up in the host balcony, but instead fell to a gut-punch from Gronk, only to see Mojo sneak in a quick pin and run off from his hosting duties as the new 24/7 champ.

The Universal Title match was up next that was scheduled to have Bill Goldberg defend against Roman Reigns. Several days before the WM tapings however, Roman Reigns shocked everyone by legitimately pulling out of the match due to understandable Co-Vid concerns from having underlying health issues from being a two-time Leukemia survivor. With such short notice, WWE did not have time to build a storyline replacement for last minute substitute, Braun Strowman, and only briefly publicly declared the substitution during a rundown of all the matches the day before on Smackdown. The match was a quick smashmouth flurry of finishers, with Goldberg unable to pin Braun after four straight spears, and instead Braun achieving the pin and Universal title after unleashing four straight powerslams.

The main event for night one of WM36 was the cinematic “Boneyard Match” between AJ Styles and The Undertaker. For those not keeping up with pandemic-era WWE, the first few PPVs of the pandemic saw the inclusion of one or two matches on each PPV shot in the form of a movie, often without commentary and instead ambient music in the background. I embedded the match above (or click or press here to check it out) for those who have not seen it, because if you are a lapsed fan and have not witnessed it yet, the match garnered surprise acclaim from both wrestling and non-wrestling fans. It saw AJ and ‘Taker duke it out in a dilapidated graveyard, complete with Eastwood-esque trash talk, mystical druids, old-school ‘Taker dark magic, Good Brothers, motorcyles and Metallica. It was freaking great, and a much needed distraction from the empty arena. The finish saw ‘Taker big boot AJ into an empty grave, and dump a truckload of dirt on him to gracefully exit the “Boneyard” on his motorcycle with Metallica singing him out. As of this writing, this was Undertaker’s last match, and going by his latest interviews it sounds like he is indeed hanging it up for good this time, especially after WWE threw him a “final farewell” retirement-esque ceremony on the character’s 30th anniversary several months later at Survivor Series. Still with me for night two coverage of WM36? Take a break, grab a Steve-weiser, and relax for my night two coverage! The kickoff match saw Liv Morgan usurp Natalya with a reverse roll-up after a solid back-and-forth match. Night two officially started with Rhea Ripley defending the NXT Women’s Title against Charlotte Flair. Sorry to report that I am not a big fan of either of these two, and this match did not sit well with me either as it was mostly Flair working over Rhea’s leg until she locked in the Figure-Eight for the tapout win. Charlotte’s NXT title run wound up being a disaster, and she did not put over anyone while she was champ there. Onto better things as Aleister Black and Bobby Lashley squared off next. I completely forgot Lashley was married to Lana at this point in his character, but that would change soon after this as Lana urged Lashley to switch up finishing moves on Black, which backfired and saw Aleister connect with his Black Mass finisher for the pin. Next up saw Dolph Ziggler face Otis in the apex of a meticulous storyline where Otis fell victim to Dolph’s treachery when trying to win the heart of Mandy Rose. Mandy’s former friend Sonya Deville was assisting Dolph throughout the match until Mandy ran out to take care of her, which set up Otis to hit his outrageous Caterpillar finish for the win, and the happy uniting with Rose which tried its darnd-est to be on the same level with Randy Savage and Elizabeth from WMVII.

The next match was Edge’s big return singles match against Randy Orton after coming back at the Royal Rumble a couple months earlier. The buildup to this bout was impressive too, with Edge, Orton and Beth Phoenix all having emotional and investing promos leading up to this. This was a Last Man Standing match that saw the two battle all over the Performance Center throughout the backstage area, offices, training facilities and parking areas before reaching its final act on top of a semi where the two traded finishing moves until Edge hit a con-chair-toe for the 10-count win. The match held up much better on second viewing, and is best to watch it on its own as it lasted nearly 40 minutes. Shortly after this, Mojo Rawley re-emerged into the ringside area fending off 24/7 Title pursuers. Gronk took this moment upon himself to leap onto the pile of wrestlers from the host balcony and pin Mojo to win the 24/7 Title, a belt he would hold for a couple months until shortly after un-retiring from football where a sneaky R-Truth would roll-up Gronk for the title in his yard while filming a Tik-Toc video….seriously. Titus ‘O Neil would shortly arrive later to wrap-up hosting duties for Gronk for the remainder of the show. The RAW Tag Titles were on the line next with the Street Profits defending against Angel Garza and Austin Theory, who was a last minute sub for an injured Andrade. This was a quick five minute recharge bout, with the four competitors all staying in third gear throughout it for a non-stop action affair. Angelo Dawkins pinned Theory after a surprise splash from Montez Ford. The Smackdown Women’s Title 5-Way Elimination match followed with Bayley defending against Lacey Evans, Sasha Banks, Tamina and Naomi. Sasha and Bayley team up for a lot of early success, until their teamwork fails and Sasha falls victim to Lacey’s Women’s Right leaving it down to Lacey and Bayley. Right when it looks like Lacey has Bayley’s number, Sasha returned with a Backstabber on Lacey, which allowed Bayley to follow that up by driving Lacey down to the mat for the win.

The cinematic match of the second night was a ��Firefly Funhouse” bout between “The Fiend” Bray Wyatt and John Cena. I have no idea where to begin describing this one. Essentially, Bray Wyatt suffers from multiple-personality disorder, and in this match Cena journeys to Wyatt’s multi-dimensional funhouse. It is filled with decades of pro-wrestling references that sees Cena and Wyatt cut Saturday Night’s Main Event-era promos on each other, join the nWo and relive Cena’s debut against Kurt Angle. I swear I am up not making any of this up! Just check out the embed above or click or press here to see for yourself! This cinematic match did not quite measure up to the Boneyard match, but was still an entertaining spectacle to experience with the deluge of references and callbacks to wrestling history. Eventually “The Fiend” pinned Cena with his Mandible Claw (while Bray Wyatt counted the pin, just roll with it), and the live feed then cut to a confused Titus ‘O Neil proclaiming what we all were thinking “I have no idea what we just saw.” The main event of night two saw Brock Lesnar defending the WWE Title against Drew McIntyre. This was built up as Drew’s big redemption story after being fired from WWE several years earlier, and it taking him 16 years to win his first major championship. It was too bad it all played out in the empty performance center, but the duo made the best of it with another instant hard hitting affair similar to the Braun/Goldberg match. After a little bit of early brawling, Brock hit three F5s which Drew all kicked out of, and then Drew countered with three straight Claymore kicks to be crowned the WWE champion for the feel-good closing of the show. What aired on RAW the next night, but actually transpired about 20 minutes after the Brock match and is on here as a BluRay bonus feature is Drew coming back to the ring for a victory interview only to be interrupted and challenged for the title by Big Show. Drew accepts the challenge, and after taking a pounding from Big Show for several minutes, Drew recovers and fires back with a Claymore for his first successful title defense. Drew has went on to be “the guy” for RAW for the better part of the next year, and while it feels he has been fulfilling that role, it is impossible to tell without a live, paying, audience, and I am curious to see how Drew is received at WM37 this weekend against Lashley.

The WM35 BluRay had the 2019 Hall of Fame as a digital bonus feature, and on the disc it had the entirety of the next night’s RAW, and a couple segments from the next Smackdown. The WM36 BluRay went down a different road with its bonus features, and aside from the two bonus kickoff matches and the post-WM Drew/Big Show match, there is about two hours of accumulated interviews, promos and segments from the previous two months of RAW, Smackdown and NXT. I watched them all, and it was a nice refresher of all the rivalries, although awkward at the same time, because about half of the segments still have fans in the arena which felt weird to see again after so long with empty/virtual arenas. Some highlights include a couple vintage Paul Heyman hype promos, AJ Styles and the Goodbrothers messing with Undertaker, the awful Rhea Ripley/Charlotte Flair interactions from NXT and Randy Orton’s epic must-see promo on Beth Phoenix for why he attacked Edge. It would be unfair of me to give a traditional yay/nay grade to WrestleMania 36 due to how the event barely came together at the final hour in the early stages of the pandemic. Seeing a lot of these matches in the empty Performance Center simply feels weird, and proved constantly difficult to suspend disbelief and get into the pro-wrestling fan mindset during viewing. The two cinematic matches are what essentially helped get me back into “fan mode” and get invested in the unique nature of those two bouts, and if you have to watch two matches from this show, then those two are the way to go. The two “slobberknocker” world title brawls are also quick, intense matches that are worth checking out. Once again, I love the two-night concept as it serves as a perfect break point for watching at home, and I am thankful WWE is doing that again for this year’s WM. All things told, this will go down as a historical achievement that WWE managed to put this together, and probably worth one day going back to watching to see how far we have come from those early dark days of the pandemic before we knew what the next eventful year had in store for everyone.

Past Wrestling Blogs Best of WCW Clash of Champions Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 2 Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 3 Biggest Knuckleheads Bobby The Brain Heenan Daniel Bryan: Just Say Yes Yes Yes DDP: Positively Living Dusty Rhodes WWE Network Specials ECW Unreleased: Vol 1 ECW Unreleased: Vol 2 ECW Unreleased: Vol 3 Eric Bishoff: Wrestlings Most Controversial Figure Fight Owens Fight: The Kevin Owens Story For All Mankind Getting Rowdy: The Unreleased Matches of Roddy Piper Goldberg: The Ultimate Collection Hulk Hogans Unreleased Collectors Series Impact Wresting Presents: Best of Hulk Hogan Its Good to Be the King: The Jerry Lawler Story The Kliq Rules Ladies and Gentlemen My Name is Paul Heyman Legends of Mid South Wrestling Macho Man: The Randy Savage Story Memphis Heat NXT: From Secret to Sensation NXT Greatest Matches Vol 1 OMG Vol 2: Top 50 Incidents in WCW History OMG Vol 3: Top 50 Incidents in ECW History Owen: Hart of Gold Randy Savage Unreleased: The Unseen Matches of the Macho Man RoH Supercard of Honor 2010-Present ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Scott Hall: Living on a Razors Edge Shawn Michaels: My Journey Shawn Michaels: The Showstopper Unreleased Sting: Into the Light Straight Outta Dudley-ville: Legacy of the Dudley Boyz Straight to the Top: Money in the Bank Anthology Superstar Collection: Zach Ryder Then Now Forever – The Evolution of WWEs Womens Division TLC 2017 TNA Lockdown 2005-2016 Top 50 Superstars of All Time Tough Enough: Million Dollar Season True Giants Ultimate Fan Pack: Roman Reigns Ultimate Warrior: Always Believe War Games: WCWs Most Notorious Matches Warrior Week on WWE Network Wrestlemania III: Championship Edition Wrestlemania 28-Present The Wrestler (2008) Wrestling Road Diaries Too Wrestling Road Diaries Three: Funny Equals Money Wrestlings Greatest Factions WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2017

Good News, Good Music 2.0

In this second installment of Good News, Good Music we continue to delight you with all of the positive responses we have received for our partnership with our friends at Cyber PR Music. Without further adieu, we bring you part 2 (hey, that rhymes!)

Please Follow the Spotify Playlist below to hear all of these amazing tracks.

Thanks to all of the artists who shared their music AND their good news.

Matt Charleston | “Painted Roses (On My Sleeve)”

Completed His debut With 55 Upcoming Artists & Producers

Throughout 2020 I worked on and completed my debut album with 55 nationwide upcoming artists and producers. Releases New Year’s Day!

Halvdan Presthus | “By the Seaside”

Used The Lockdown Time Strengthen & Launch A Website

As a Norwegian songwriter I released my first single in 2019, after deciding to make music full time. I started by booking several concerts with my folk-group, before the Epidemic hit. Since then, I have tried to write and record new songs to prepare for a change for the better as a musician. I’m glad to share that I have launched a new website. Believing that working together we can, through hard work,-reach a new creative power to develop new strong human music.

I found these words of wisdom that might inspire some creative people:

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours..” - H.D.Thoreau

Will Kreth, Founder MediaGroove Label | “Isolation Compiation - Pt. 1″

Released “Isolation Compilation - Pt. 1” Thanks To A Successful Kickstarter Campaign

My “good news / good music” story is that my indie label (MediaGroove) released a compilation album this year - really against the odds - because there were so many unfinished tracks when we started. In December 2019, my label raised money on Kickstarter for a full album by one of our artists, but when the pandemic and lockdown hit - it was damn impossible to wrangle all the tracks into completion. So, we decided to put out a compilation EP of a handful of different artists instead, with songs that only needed editing, mixing and mastering - not full "construction and renovation." MediaGroove’s “Isolation Compilation - Pt. 1” was released October 23rd. I learned a lot in producing and releasing this EP.  For instance, how Spotify doesn’t let you promote / pitch songs from a compilation for advance playlisting!   That was an eye-opener and a bit of a rude awakening. 

Calvin & The Coal Cars | “Wayward Daughter”

Did A Drive-In Show For 300 Paid Attendees, NPR & Magazine Interview

We are a country/Americana band out in Montana called Calvin and the Coal Cars. Our debut album release show was scheduled for March 21, 2020 and was looking like it was about to sell out at The Pub Station in Billings. However, six days before the show it was postponed indefinitely. Despite the obvious drawbacks, we have kept a bit of our momentum. We immediately scheduled a Facebook Live show that was streamed on a couple other platforms, and because of our quick action we got an interview on NPR (our first on terrestrial radio). We also produced a Drive In show that was a great success. We had nearly 300 paid attendees and hired a production company that was able to project our band on the big screen, with 4 camera operators. That show ended up getting our first magazine interview. We also used the time to record our follow up album, The Greatest Hits Vol II, which we plan to release March 21, 2021. So while times are tough, we’ve managed to keep creating.

Shaka Banton | “WE ARE the Ones”

Wrote & Released A Dedication To Jacob Blake Who Was Shot 7 times In His Back

This song touched me deeply because of all the non equality for some people I dedicated this song to that and Jacob Blake who was shot 7 times in his back, at that point enough is enough, and as an artist I had to say something. I said I want this song to really sink in and touch the hearts of people to wanna make change in the world. I can't lie, producing this song brought a tear to my eyes because I couldn't wait for the message to be heard. We are the ones, the hook came to me super fast I knew right then that the message would have to be heard.Being African in America is not easy you have to go 10x harder then others to be recognized but where there's a will there's a way, a passion that can't be turned off by anyone.

Tiger Scientist & MJ Raven | “When”

Helping People Cope With Anxiety Through Music 

Boy was it a year, but I'm thankful for the hard truths it made me confront and the growth that came from that. It also allowed my wife and I to finally begin our long-talked-about music project, an epic 5 EP cycle about coping with anxiety and development in the modern age. The first EP comes out in January and the first single is out now, called "When." It's an epic journey through the mind and learning we can be stronger than our anxiety attacks.

Linc Bradham | “The Darkest of Nights”

An Arabic Linguist Serving In The US Army Is Shifting Military Careers

My audio engineer who is also my good friend and I have been working weekly towards me switching careers as an Arabic linguist in the Army into the Army Band as a production engineer. He and I have been working together musically for years and met by chance at a show here in DC! He mixed and mastered my first EP that came out in September and my single Shine which released on 15 December.  Years after meeting, we’re now doing weekly virtual lessons (one of which we finished 5 minutes ago!) so I can learn the production side of things and succeed at the Army Band production engineer audition next year. I’m so grateful to be changing careers to what I’ve always loved and dreamed of doing - music. Since we’re talking about good news, here’s the title track off my EP, The Darkest of Nights. (“Even in the darkest of nights, the smallest of lights, will prevail.”)

Jeremy Weinglass | “The Twelve Days of Christmas”

Played A Senior Center onThanksgiving And Changed A Woman’s Life

On Thanksgiving I was fortunate to have a rare live gig playing piano for the residents at a senior living facility. This has been an especially tough year for these folks since they are not able to have outside family members come visit, all their usual activities are extremely limited and no live music or entertainment since March. I had a fairly small, yet very attentive audience that stayed throughout my entire 2 hour performance where I shared music, stories and gratitude. When it came time to wrap up, I thought I'd conclude with a sentimental Christmas piece (from my album releasing the next day). As I finished, "I'll Be Home for Christmas," a woman approached the piano with tears in her eyes and pulled her mask down and said, "I asked to receive a sign from my husband in heaven that he was here with me right now [pause and sobbing] and THIS was it." She gave a soft smile through her tears and I immediately wept and then she walked away.

Rock Supreme | “Cruise Control”

Released New Music Despite The Pandemic

I did release some new music on 11.27.20, it’s a EP called “Signed Sealed & Delivered” available on all streaming platforms. Be safe out there.

Jon Fuller | “Litany of HeartBreak”

Inked A Distribution Deal That's Focused on International Listeners

On the good news front, I was able to finish and release a fully-animated CGI music video for my track "I.love.you" (the album the song is on came out in 2013, so it was truly a multi-year labor of love!), and I was able to ink a distribution deal that's focused on international listeners, which I'm particularly excited about.

Sherry-Lynn Lee | “Wasted Space in My Heart”

Learned Production, Experimented And Pushed Her Limits - Wants To Help Other Women Do The Same

When we met Ariel in 2017, I didn't know the first thing about production. Fast-forward to today, I can now engineer, produce, mix and master our records. Several of our self-produced songs have been signed to publishers and agents. I've even started producing other artists in addition to George's and my own solo project. Music supervisors and major label producers alike have told me that I'm a talented producer and should seriously consider it as a career path. So I spent most of 2020 learning, experimenting and pushing my limits, all while having a blast doing it. 

In "Wasted Space In My Heart", I used office supplies to create the percussion elements and processed them to create a fun indie pop song. I hope that sharing this will inspire more women to get into production and experience the thrill of realizing a musical vision from idea to master. 

Doug Fergus | “Wannabe”

Released An Honest & “Goofy” Song - And Got 900 Pandora Streams Per Week

When Covid and the shutdowns and that reality started to kick in...I freaked and I thought, "Even though i'm 'older' , what if I miss my chance at ever achieving some form of success?" I blurted out,  "I don't want to be a wannabe anymore!" Then I thought, cool song title!

So I quickly wrote and recorded the song at home and put it out, lack of professionalism be damned! 

Then a magical moment: One of my goofiest songs, "Wannabe" got added to several artists playlists on Pandora and I went from a pitiful 5 or 6 streams a week to over 900 a week!!

Danielle Todd | “A Solo for Autumn” & “Crazy”

Wrote A Custom Song For A Frontline Worker

I was contacted by Desjardins Group and asked to perform a song for somebody in Canada that was going through a rough time because of the pandemic. I was given a girl named Autumn, who was a frontline worker. Her sister contacted Desjardins with the most wonderful message about how hard her sister is working. That night, I wrote this song called "Autumn" and sent it in to Desjardins. Within a few days, Autumn had her very first song written for her and she was brought to tears. It was really nice to help a stranger out during this time.

Night Ride | “D.A.Z.”

Inspired By BLM Collaborated On A Track To Raise Money For Charity

This has indeed been one hell of a year - but the Black Lives Matter movement really impacted me the most. I was straight up experiencing white guilt and felt I had to do something. 

I partnered with two of my close friends who are amazing talented artists and we wrote and created a track with 100% of the proceeds going to charity. The track also raised awareness of police brutality - being named after Daz, a family member of one of my friends who passed at the hands of police. A lot of people helped out and gave their time for free to create a music video and to promote the track and we are now raising money for the charities that need it most!

Stay tuned …There’s more Good News Coming!

'I just want my husband's remains to be returned to us'

This story was produced in partnership with the Pulitzer Center.

Stanley Jungco had only ever been to sea on a fishing boat once before, and he had vowed to his sisters that he would never go again.

But in September 2018, tempted by the promise of a monthly salary of $ 380, the 24-year-old went back to sea as crew on a Chinese-owned trawler.

The money would be enough for him to buy back the land his father had pawned and buy some for himself too. He could settle down and marry his girlfriend. One more trip would be the difference between a life spent jumping from one odd job to another, and stability.

Five months ago, Jungco had an accident on board and later died from complications. Worse, as a result of restrictions associated with the coronavirus pandemic, his body remains in a mortuary in the southern Chinese province of Fuzhou.

“My mother didn't want him to go, but he was determined to work and help our family,” his sister Rica Jungco told Al Jazeera.

The Philippines is at the center of a maritime crisis that has left thousands of seafarers locked down in their ships and exiled from home. The island archipelago, which has a maritime history dating back to the Galleon Trade during Spanish colonial rule, supplies about a quarter of the world's 1.2 million seafarers. Last year, they sent home some $ 6.14bn in remittances.

Sealed borders and ports closed to curb the spread of COVID-19 have kept some 300,000 seafarers quarantined on their ships, with little to no chance of being replaced by a fresh crew, according to the International Transport Workers Federation (ITF).

Stanley Jungo, 25, had an accident on board a deep-sea fishing vessel when a steel bar hit his thigh in April. He ignored the injury but it got worse and six weeks later he was dead. His body remains in a mortuary in southern China [Martin San Diego/Al Jazeera]

And if anyone dies, varying country health protocols on the repatriation of remains, discontinued flights and inter-governmental bureaucracy means families are facing hearting obstacles to claiming the remains of their loved ones.

A long time at sea

Debbie and Raul Calopez's 11-year marriage was mostly long distance. She worked as a domestic helper in Hong Kong and Lebanon while Raul stayed at home to raise their two children.

Debbie was still in Lebanon finishing her contract when Raul boarded the 7874 Fu Yuan Yu, a Chinese fishing vessel bound for the Atlantic Ocean, in March 2019. “He called me from the airport, told me he loved me and promised that when he came back, our family would finally be complete, ”she said.

That day would never come.

On December 31, 2019, while hauling in their catch, Raul fainted, hitting his head on a steel pipe as he fell to the floor. In a handwritten letter penned by crew members, Raul complained of a headache and body pains after the accident. The men took turns looking after him during their breaks, but he became weaker.

“We tried to ask for medical assistance, but the captain wouldn't listen. They gave us medicine, but it was in Chinese characters we couldn't understand, ”said Jesus Gaboni, one of Raul's crewmates.

On January 19, Raul finally got medical attention, but by then it was too late. A few hours later, he was dead.

Jesus Gaboni, left, with other Filipino crew on board their fishing vessel. The man on the right, Raul Calopez, got sick onboard and eventually died. Gaboni helped store Calopez's body in the ship's freezer where it remains today [Martin San Diego/Al Jazeera]

Gaboni and the other men took his body, wrapped it in a blanket and buried it in the ship's freezer. But as the pandemic accelerated, first in China and then around the world, the 7874 Fu Yuan Yu was stranded in China.

The crew members managed to return to the Philippines when travel restrictions were eased in July. They were transferred to another boat with crew from other company vessels stranded by the pandemic but, in the confusion, Raul's body was left behind - in the freezer of the 7874.

After the crew disembarked, the ship went back to sea.

According to correspondence between Debbie and the Philippine Embassy in Chile, the vessel's location on the high seas blurs country jurisdictions and accountabilities, complicating the repatriation of Raul's remains. The vessel may possibly dock in October and Raul's body may finally be retrieved. By then, it will have been almost a year since his death.

“It's been so long already. I just want my husband's remains to be returned to us. Then we can all be together again, like he promised, ”Debbie said.

Global Maritime Crew and Global Offshore & Marine Manpower Solution, the manpower agencies that recruited most of the crew for the Fu Yuan Yu vessels, could not be reached for comment.

Most dangerous job in the world

Seafaring is one of the most dangerous jobs in the world.

Migrants on deep-sea fishing boats spend months at a time on the high seas, working in the most perilous conditions and at risk of physical abuse in a situation some have likened to slavery.

Jesus Gaboni at home in the Philippines. He was the more senior of the Filipino crew and moved Raul Calopez's body to the ship's freezer after he died. It is still there, and the boat is back on the high seas [Martin San Diego/Al Jazeera]

Al Jazeera interviewed dozens of migrants.

They spoke of a life dictated by the availability of the catch - hauling in squid, fish and crab, cleaning and freezing it at all hours of the day and night.

“Commercial fishing is largely unregulated and unsupervised. It is practically lawless, ”said Rossen Karavatchev, ITF Fisheries Section Coordinator.

Among the major countries operating commercial fishing vessels, only Thailand has ratified the Work in Fishing Convention, which sets international standards for the safety and protection of crew, while South Africa is the only country in the world that allows port inspection of fishing vessels.

The COVID-19 pandemic has turned ships into virtual floating prisons, with some sailors now spending between 17 and 21 months at sea. The average contract is about 11.

“Getting sick and the chances of dying on board are much more than before. If you get sick on board, sorry. You can't get medical assistance and you can't get out. If you die, you may be thrown into the sea for a sea burial, ”added Karavatchev.

About a quarter of the world's seafarers come from the Philippines [Martin San Diego/Al Jazeera]

The International Labor Organization estimates about 41,000 people working on trawlers are migrants, mostly from Southeast Asia. However, this number could be as high as 100,000 as many people are undocumented or trafficked into sailing in international waters.

As Marla de Asis, a researcher at the Scalabrini Migration Center in Manila put it, “Once seafarers are on board, who gets to check on how they are doing?”

'He was our baby'

After Jungco set sail on his fateful voyage - to the rich fishing grounds of the southern Atlantic - his family did not hear from him for more than a year.

It was only in April, when Jungco's ship docked in Peru and he finally had access to a mobile signal, that they could speak.

He told his sisters that he was on his way home and that his ship would meet up with other fishing vessels off the coast of China en route to the Philippines. What Jungco did not tell them was that he had had an accident a few days before. The crew was dismantling fishing rigs and other gear in preparation for going home when a steel bar slammed into his thigh.

Jungco's crewmates were making similar calls to their own families, frantically trying to get updates over a patchy mobile signal. By then, news of the COVID-19 virus had reached every corner of the globe - except the deep seas.

They had heard scraps of information from the English their Chinese captain mustered, but the crew could not believe it. They thought the pandemic was an excuse to keep them from going home.

When their boat docked in China, Jungco texted his sisters again on June 1. He told them they had been prohibited from disembarking and had been forced to stay on board.

Jungco's crewmates wrote up the details of his final moments on board the deep-sea shipping vessel, His family hope they will soon get him home [Martin San Diego/Al Jazeera]

By that time, Jungco's condition had deteriorated. His left thigh had turned purple and was swollen. Video footage taken by crew members shows him lying in his bunk bed, visibly weak and having difficulty breathing.

The next message the sisters received was on June 6, from a crew member. Jungco had died.

“He was our baby, our youngest,” sobbed Rosalie Jungco-Pacheco, Jungco's sister who spoke to Al Jazeera via phone from their hometown in the central Philippines. The cause of his death has not yet been determined.

The oldest in the family of 11 children, Rosalie is 18 years older than Jungco. “When he was growing up, I was the one who would brush his teeth and bathe him. It hurts so much to think of how much he suffered without any of us beside him, ”she said.

When travel restrictions eased in July, the crew was allowed to sail back to the Philippines but Jungco's body was left behind. Through updates from the Philippine Embassy in China, Rica and Rosalie were able to confirm that he had been taken to a mortuary in Fuzhou.

“Repatriating seafarers, in particular, is made more challenging due to docking and disembarkation restrictions for vessels set by local authorities and the severely limited number of flights,” the Department of Foreign Affairs - Manila (DFA) said in a statement.

The DFA has been working with various governments to assist stranded seafarers all over the world, its latest data shows that more than 66,000 seafarers affected by the pandemic have been brought home.

A bittersweet goodbye

Last July, Ann-Ann Geraldino stood at Pier 15 of the Manila Port Area as the crew of various Fu Yuan Yu fishing vessels that had been stuck in China as a result of the pandemic finally disembarked.

Stanley Jungco, 25, died on a Chinese-owned deep-sea fishing vessel on June 6. His family are still waiting for his body, which remains in a mortuary in southern China, to be returned [Martin San Diego/Al Jazeera]

She was there to collect the remains of her brother, Felix Mark Guial, who was on board the Fu Yuan Yu 7886. Her husband held her hand and her brother-in-law was at her side. A government official and a doctor in hazmat suits stood behind them to witness his body being handed over by the port authorities.

The details are scant, but Geraldino said he suffered a stomach ache while onboard and never got better. She is certain that COVID-19 was not the cause of death. Nonetheless, health protocols mandated cremation and they went straight from the dock to a funeral home.

“Our parents call him Ar-Ar. All of us 10 kids have repeating nicknames. But we siblings call him “ears” or “rat” because of his protruding ears, ”said Geraldino.

It was bittersweet, she said, when she received her brother's ashes.

“It's very painful especially for his partner and young kids, but at least my brother is home. I hope the other families get to have their last good-bye, too. ”

#world Read full article: https://expatimes.com/?p=11054&feed_id=7778

Fats Domino, the New Orleans rhythm-and-blues singer whose two-fisted boogie-woogie piano and nonchalant vocals, heard on dozens of hits, made him one of the biggest stars of the early rock ’n’ roll era, has died in Louisiana. He was 89.

His death was confirmed by his brother-in-law and former road manager Reggie Hall, who said he had no other details. Mr. Domino lived in Harvey, La., across the Mississippi River from New Orleans.

Mr. Domino had more than three dozen Top 40 pop hits through the 1950s and early ’60s, among them “Blueberry Hill,” “Ain’t It a Shame” (also known as “Ain’t That a Shame,” which is the actual lyric), “I’m Walkin’,” “Blue Monday” and “Walkin’ to New Orleans.” Throughout he displayed both the buoyant spirit of New Orleans, his hometown, and a droll resilience that reached listeners worldwide.

He sold 65 million singles in those years, with 23 gold records, making him second only to Elvis Presley as a commercial force. Presley acknowledged Mr. Domino as a predecessor.

“A lot of people seem to think I started this business,” Presley told Jet magazine in 1957. “But rock ’n’ roll was here a long time before I came along. Nobody can sing that music like colored people. Let’s face it: I can’t sing it like Fats Domino can. I know that.”

Rotund and standing 5 feet 5 inches — he would joke that he was as wide as he was tall — Mr. Domino had a big, infectious grin, a fondness for ornate, jewel-encrusted rings and an easygoing manner in performance; even in plaintive songs his voice had a smile in it. And he was a master of the wordless vocal, making hits out of songs full of “woo-woos” and “la-las.”

Working with the songwriter, producer and arranger David Bartholomew, Mr. Domino and his band carried New Orleans parade rhythms into rock ’n’ roll and put a local stamp on nearly everything they touched, even country tunes like “Jambalaya” or big-band songs like “My Blue Heaven” and “When My Dreamboat Comes Home.”

Antoine Dominique Domino Jr. was born on Feb. 26, 1928, the youngest of eight children in a family with Creole roots. He grew up in the Ninth Ward of New Orleans, where he spent most of his life.

Music filled his life from the age of 10, when his family inherited an old piano. After his brother-in-law Harrison Verrett, a traditional-jazz musician, wrote down the notes on the keys and taught him a few chords, Antoine threw himself at the instrument — so enthusiastically that his parents moved it to the garage.

He was almost entirely self-taught, picking up ideas from boogie-woogie masters like Meade Lux Lewis, Pinetop Smith and Amos Milburn. “Back then I used to play everybody’s records; everybody’s records who made records,” he told the New Orleans music magazine Offbeat in 2004. “I used to hear ’em, listen at ’em five, six, seven, eight times and I could play it just like the record because I had a good ear for catchin’ notes and different things.”

He attended the Louis B. Macarty School but dropped out in the fourth grade to work as an iceman’s helper. “In the houses where people had a piano in their rooms, I’d stop and play,” he told USA Today in 2007. “That’s how I practiced.”

In his teens, he started working at a club called the Hideaway with a band led by the bassist Billy Diamond, who nicknamed him Fats. Mr. Domino soon became the band’s frontman and a local draw.

“Fats was breaking up the place, man,” Mr. Bartholomew told The Cleveland Plain Dealer in 2010. “He was singing and playing the piano and carrying on. Everyone was having a good time. When you saw Fats Domino, it was ‘Let’s have a party!’ ”

He added: “My first impression was a lasting impression. He was a great singer. He was a great artist. And whatever he was doing, nobody could beat him.”

In 1947 Mr. Domino married Rosemary Hall, and they had eight children, Antoine III, Anatole, Andre, Anonio, Antoinette, Andrea, Anola and Adonica. His wife died in 2008. A complete list of survivors was not immediately available.

In 1949 Mr. Bartholomew brought Lew Chudd, the owner of Imperial Records in Los Angeles, to the Hideaway. Mr. Chudd signed Mr. Domino on the spot, with a contract, unusual for the time, that paid royalties rather than a one-time purchase of songs.

Immediately, Mr. Domino and Mr. Bartholomew wrote “The Fat Man,” a cleaned-up version of a song about drug addiction called “Junkers Blues,” and recorded it with Mr. Bartholomew’s studio band. By 1951 it had sold a million copies.

Mr. Domino’s trademark triplets, picked up from “It’s Midnight,” a 1949 record by the boogie-woogie pianist and singer Little Willie Littlefield, appeared on his next rhythm-and-blues hit, “Every Night About This Time.” The technique spread like wildfire, becoming a virtual requirement for rock ’n’ roll ballads.

“Fats made it popular,” Mr. Bartholomew told Rick Coleman, the author of “Blue Monday: Fats Domino and the Lost Dawn of Rock ’n’ Roll” (2006). “Then it was on every record.”

In 1952, on a chance visit to Cosimo Matassa’s recording studio in New Orleans, Mr. Domino was asked to help out on a recording by a nervous teenager named Lloyd Price. Sitting in with Mr. Bartholomew’s band, he came up with the memorable piano part for “Lawdy Miss Clawdy,” one of the first rhythm-and-blues records to cross over into the pop charts.

Through the early 1950s Mr. Domino turned out a stream of hits, taking up what seemed like permanent residence in the upper reaches of the R&B charts. His records began reaching the pop charts as well.

In that racially segregated era, white performers used his hits to build their careers. In 1955, “Ain’t It a Shame” became a No. 1 hit for Pat Boone as “Ain’t That a Shame,” while Domino’s arrangement of a traditional song, “Bo Weevil,” was imitated by Teresa Brewer.

Mr. Domino’s appeal to white teenagers broadened as he embarked on national tours and appeared with mixed-race rock ’n’ roll revues like the Moondog Jubilee of Stars Under the Stars, presented by the disc jockey Alan Freed at Ebbets Field in Brooklyn. Appearances on national television, on Steve Allen and Ed Sullivan’s shows, put him in millions of living rooms.

He did not flaunt his status as an innovator, or as an architect of a powerful cultural movement.

“Fats, how did this rock ’n’ roll all get started anyway?” an interviewer for a Hearst newsreel asked him in 1957. Mr. Domino answered: “Well, what they call rock ’n’ roll now is rhythm and blues. I’ve been playing it for 15 years in New Orleans.”

At a news conference in Las Vegas in 1969, after resuming his performing career, Elvis Presley interrupted a reporter who had called him “the king.” He pointed to Mr. Domino, who was in the room, and said, “There’s the real king of rock ’n’ roll.”

Mr. Domino had his biggest hit in 1956 with his version of “Blueberry Hill,” a song that had been recorded by Glenn Miller’s big band in 1940. It peaked at No. 2 on the pop charts and sold a reported three million copies.

“I liked that record ’cause I heard it by Louis Armstrong and I said, ‘That number gonna fit me,’ ” he told Offbeat. “We had to beg Lew Chudd for a while. I told him I wasn’t gonna make no more records till they put that record out. I could feel it, that it was a hit, a good record.”

He followed with two more Top Five pop hits: “Blue Monday” and “I’m Walkin’,” which outsold the version recorded by Ricky Nelson.

“I was lucky enough to write songs that carry a good beat and tell a real story that people could feel was their story, too — something that old people or the kids could both enjoy,” Mr. Domino told The Los Angeles Times in 1985.

Mr. Domino performed in 1950s movies like “Shake, Rattle and Rock,” “The Big Beat” (for which he and Mr. Bartholomew wrote the title song) and “The Girl Can’t Help It.” In 1957, he toured for three months with Chuck Berry, Clyde McPhatter, the Moonglows and others.

Well into the early 1960s, Mr. Domino continued to reach both the pop and rhythm-and-blues charts with songs like “Whole Lotta Lovin’,” “I’m Ready,” “I’m Gonna Be a Wheel Someday,” “Be My Guest,” “Walkin’ to New Orleans” and “My Girl Josephine.”

He toured Europe for the first time in 1962 and met the Beatles in Liverpool, before they were famous. His contract with Imperial ended in 1963, and he went on to record for ABC-Paramount, Mercury, Broadmoor, Reprise and other labels.

His last appearance in the pop Top 100 was in 1968, with a version of “Lady Madonna,” the Beatles song that had been inspired by Mr. Domino’s piano-pounding style. In 1982, he had a country hit with “Whiskey Heaven.”

Although he was no longer a pop sensation, Mr. Domino continued to perform worldwide and appeared for 10 months a year in Las Vegas in the mid-1960s. On tour, he would bring his own pots and pans so he could cook.

His life on the road ended in the early 1980s, when he decided that he did not want to leave New Orleans, saying it was the only place where he liked the food.

He went on to perform regularly at the New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival, and in 1987 Jerry Lee Lewis and Ray Charles joined him for a Cinemax special, “Fats Domino and Friends.” He released a holiday album, “Christmas Is a Special Day,” in 1993.

Reclusive and notoriously resistant to interview requests, Mr. Domino stayed home even when he was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 1986 as one of its first members. He did the same when he received a lifetime achievement Grammy Award in 1987. In 1999, when he was awarded the National Medal of Arts,he sent his daughter Antoinette to the White House to pick up the prize.

He even refused to leave New Orleans when Hurricane Katrina devastated the city on Aug. 29, 2005, remaining at his flooded home — he was living in the Lower Ninth Ward then — until he was rescued by helicopter on Sept. 1.

“I wasn’t too nervous” about waiting to be saved, he told The New York Times in 2006. “I had my little wine and a couple of beers with me; I’m all right.”

His rescue was loosely the basis for “Saving Fats,” a tall tale in Sam Shepard’s 2010 short-story collection, “Day Out of Days.”

President George W. Bush visited Mr. Domino’s home in 2006 in recognition of New Orleans’s cultural resilience; that same year, Mr. Domino released “Alive and Kickin,’ ” his first album in more than a decade. The title song began, “All over the country, people want to know / Whatever happened to Fats Domino,” then continued, “I’m alive and kicking and I’m where I wanna be.”

He was often seen around New Orleans, emerging from his pink-roofed mansion driving a pink Cadillac. “I just drink my little beers, do some cookin’, anything I feel like ” he told The Daily Telegraph of London in 2007, describing his retirement.

In 1953, in Down Beat magazine, the Atlantic Records producer Jerry Wexler made a bold-sounding prediction that turned out to be, in retrospect, quite timid. “Can’t you envision a collector in 1993 discovering a Fats Domino record in a Salvation Army depot and rushing home to put it on the turntable?” he wrote. “We can. It’s good blues, it’s good jazz, and it’s the kind of good that never wears out.”

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