#he wants to take the reigns so bad that he’s even descending into the underworld for even more control
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Mirror of Darkness Show
This show has been screened at several events:
■ Twisted Wonderland pop-up shop in Animate (Aug 1 - Sept 6, 2020)
■ First Anniversary livestream on Abema TV (Mar 17, 2021)
■ Halloween 2021 virtual event on Cluster (Oct 18 - Nov 18, 2021)
I’ve translated the script below ↓
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Crowley: Allow me to welcome all of you who have gathered here to hear about this academy. I am the headmaster, Dire Crowley. I’m overjoyed to know that so many of you are interested in our Night Raven College. Heheh.
Now then, I will leave it to the first-years to attend to you all. Freshmen, please be very welcoming and professional with them. Alright, I will take my leave. Ah, I’m so busy, so busy!
Grim: Oi oi, the headmaster just left everything up to us and ran off somewhere.
Ace: Bleugh, I don’t wanna be here.
Deuce: C’mon, Ace. Some of these people might be new students next year. Pull yourself together!
If we get to have juniors... then we’ll finally be considered upperclassmen!
Ace: Now that you mention it... if you had a junior, then you could force them to take care of flamingo feeding duty for you! That’d be a win!
...That’s what you were imagining, right?
Deuce: Ah! Don’t act like I’m you.
Grim: But... they wouldn’t be in Heartslabyul with you guys unless the Mirror of Darkness picked it for them, right?
We’d always welcome anyone to Ramshackle! Hehe! If I get more henchmen, I could push them around everyday and make them bring me all the tuna cans I want!
Jack: Hey, Grim. You’re telling everyone too much of your internal thoughts. This is a job the Headmaster entrusted us with, so let’s do it right.
Ace: There it is—Jack’s always-on-task voice.
But anyway, you guys. The looks on your faces all scream “I don’t know anything!” but... don’t tell me—not just about Night Raven College obviously, but you don’t know about the Great Seven either?! Oi oi, I’m getting déjà vu here!
Grim: These guys are just like my henchman—they need you to walk them through everything.
Ace: Whaaat, but I’m too lazy to give the same explanation again. So anyway, Epel! You can take it from here!
Epel: Huh?! M... Er, me? I’d like to help, but... I don’t know if I’d be able to explain it right.... um... ¹
Jack: He’s stumbling right from the start... Alright, guess I’ll do it.
Night Raven College is a mage-training boarding school. There are seven dorms here based off the Great Seven, a group of powerful figures who once existed in the past. Whichever dorm you’re put in is determined by the Mirror of Darkness at the time you enroll. They say it’s chosen based on the essence of your soul.
Epel: Thank you, Jack. I’m sure all of you here must look up to the Great Seven too, and are hoping you’ll be able to get into Night Raven College as well.
Ace: Hello—? Wait, did they all fall asleep?
Sebek: What?? Oi, all of you! WAKE UP!!
Jack: Agh! Sebek! Don’t start yelling without warning us first!
Deuce: Both of you are being too loud! Everyone, I’m sorry if that startled you. Is it alright if I continue?
I’ll explain about the dorms and the Great Seven.
Heartslabyul is the dorm Ace and I are in, which is said to be founded on the severity of the Queen of Hearts. Everyone here lives by the law of the Queen of Hearts. Dorm Leader Rosehearts is very strict about the rules, but he and others like Clover and Diamond are all respectable people.
Ace: “Respectable,” huh? Deuce, that’s such a basic way to put it.
Everyone! If you end up in the same dorm as us, you better be careful. Our scaaary dorm leader will give you hell if you break even just one rule!
God, don’t you think things would’ve been better if they hadn’t kept in that aspect of the Queen of Hearts?
Epel: Um... The Queen of Hearts was also an amazing woman who reigned over a kingdom that was chaotic by law.
Grim: And so, anyone who broke those laws was said to have been put on trial and exiled from the country.
Jack: I’m part of Savanaclaw, which models the indomitable spirit of the King of Beasts. There are many students here, including Leona and Ruggie, who excel in athletics.
Which is why... I wanted so badly to have a serious fight at the Magift Tournament.
Deuce: I know exactly what that feels like!
The King of Beasts used his wit and magic power to climb his way to the top. A MAN AMONG MEN! Doesn’t he just amaze you?!
Epel: Yeah, he’s so manly and cool... isn’t he?
Grim: But ya know, the dorm leader Leona is just a do-nothing who sleeps all day.
Ace: You say that, but you never know—someday he might just knock you dead with a POW!
Next up is the dorm founded on the mercy of the Sea Witch, Octavinelle.
Jack: Octavinelle is a group of intellectuals who are always getting the highest scores on written exams. Along with the dorm leader Azul Ashengrotto, it’s full of really clever students. They also run a café called the Mostro Lounge.
Deuce: The Sea Witch lived in a grotto deep under the sea, and granting the wishes of pitiful merfolk was something she lived for.
Ace: The price was a little bit expensive, but just for that you could get anything you could ever wish for!
Epel: After that... we have Scarabia, the dorm founded in the tactical spirit of the Sorcerer of the Desert Kingdom. I hear there’s a lot of students here who are good at Astrology and Ancient Curses. The current dorm leader is Kalim Al-Asim!
Jack: The Sorcerer of the Desert Kingdom was someone who excelled at anticipating the future, often gave advice to the king, and acted as a support for the entire kingdom. That “tactical spirit” of his has definitely been passed down through this dorm, hasn’t it?
Grim: So what you mean is, they’re really smart?
Deuce: Yeah. And the people here also use their own power to strengthen themselves! You could say they climbed their way to the top too!
Ace: I could never put in so much effort and motivation just to get good at something.
M’kay, next! This is the one Epel’s part of—Pomefiore! It kinda has a sparkly, really aesthetic vibe to it.
Epel: Pomefiore models the heavy efforts of the Fairest Queen. They say the Queen was the fairest in all the land, and that she spared no effort to preserve her beauty.
I wonder if that’s why... the dorm leader Vil is so strict with both himself and all the students here.
Jack: The Queen was also supposed to have been a master at making poisons. And it’s true that a lot of the students at Pomefiore excel at potion-making too.
Grim: Next, we’ve got that guy Idia’s... Hngyi... Hngyahyde Dorm.
Ace: I-G-N-I-H-Y-D-E! Try to remember it right!!
Grim: Yeah, that! The dorm leader Idia is so rude; he’s always trying to pet my fur like I’m a cat! Me, the almighty Grim who’s going to become a powerful mage someday!
Epel: Huh...? You’re not a cat...?
Ace: Ignihyde was founded on the diligence of the Lord of the Underworld! Cater told me that a lot of the guys here are strong in magic energy engineering and digital gaming, but their lifestyles tend to be real quiet.
Jack: The Lord of the Underworld ruled over a kingdom of writhing spirits by himself. He never once neglected his job, even though anyone else would fear it. He was very dedicated and earnest, and worked without taking breaks.
Deuce: One, two, three, four, five, six... We’re at six now, so there’s only one left, right?
Ace: Last is Diasom—
Sebek: With Lord Malleus working as its dorm leader, this is Diasomnia!
Ace: BLEHJG!
Epel: Ah...
Ace: You know cutting in yelling like that scares everyone, right?!!
Anyway, you’ve been gone this whole time... Where’d you run off to?
Sebek: Yes, I was receiving a lecture about gargoyles from the Young Master.
Grim: Gar.... ghnghyle? Do those taste good?
Ace: I don’t really know what that means, but I’ll let you introduce Diasomnia ‘cause it’s too much of a hassle for me.
Sebek: Of course. This is far out of your depth anyway.
Ahem. Are you ready? HUMANS! Diasomnia, the dorm I’m part of, is founded on the nobility of the Fairy of Thorns. The current dorm leader is Lord Malleus Draconia! He is a descendant of the faeries, and ranks as one of the top five... No, the strongest magic-wielder in the world! He was born in the Valley of Thorns, his birthday is January 18th, he’s 202 cm tall, he’s part of the Gargoyle Research Society, both of his eyes are—
Ace: This isn’t a introduction on the dorm anymore; you’re just talking about the leader!!
Sebek: Hm? This is the dorm that Lord Malleus runs, so what’s so strange about talking about him?
Ace: This is obnoxious...
Deuce: He won’t listen no matter what you say, huh?
Grim: Right?
Epel: I feel like the students of Diasomnia can wield magic much better than the other dorms can.
Sebek: That is correct. The Fairy of Thorns, who lived on the Mystical Mountain², could cast magic that was extremely powerful even among the Great Seven. It’s clear that Lord Malleus is the most suited for running this dorm, isn’t it?
Epel: ...And that concludes our explanation. Everyone, thank you for listening all the way through.
Jack: Every dorm has its own set of quirks, but in the end, the one you join depends on the Mirror of Darkness. You shouldn’t worry too much about it.
Deuce: Jack’s right. No matter what dorm you get assigned to, let’s all do our best together to become powerful mages!
Ace: What’s with this beautiful ending you’re leaving off with? Well, I’m not complaining, getting some cute little freshmen around doesn’t sound too bad.
Let’s go to the next Unbirthday Party together!
Sebek: This orientation is not over until you return home safely. If anything happens, we’re the ones that will be held responsible. Do you hear that, humans? Be on your guard as you make your way back.
Grim: Next time you stop by, make sure ya don’t forget my tuna cans!
1. Epel: M... Er, me?
I wasn’t able to convey this correctly, but Epel starts off by using the pronoun “Ore” (a rougher version of “me”) and then pauses to correct himself to “Boku” (which is a bit softer).
2. Mystical Mountain
It’s called the “Forbidden Mountain” in the EN dub, but the term engraved on Maleficent’s statue on Main Street is “Mystical Mountain.”
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Heaven and the Afterlife
A Developing Theological Concept - Part 2: The Yahweh-alone Movement
Before beginning this discussion, I wanted to ensure everyone reading this summary is aware that the Judeo-Christian Bible was not written in chronological order from the oldest book to the newest. Rather, the various books were sequenced in their appearance after either Jewish scribes and priest or Christian scribes and priest determined the order of the books. For example, many scholars believe one of the oldest book in the Bible is Job and not Genesis, which was one of the last books written. Please keep this in mind in case you’re trying to reconcile historical dates with the placement of books within the Bible.
Ancestor worship was outlawed in the eighth century B.C. as part of a new prophetic movement. During this time, the powerful Assyrian empire was exerting increasingly intolerable pressure on the small vassal kingdoms of Israel and Judah. Because of this situation, a prophetic movement formed which advocated the exclusive worship of one God, Yahweh (yä wā, in Hebrew YHWH). The worship of all other gods and goddesses was to be abandoned.
According to this prophetic movement, Israel’s God Yahweh was the only one with any real power. Yahweh would eventually intervene and alter the political scene in favor of his people. This new religious movement has been called by scholars the “Yahweh-alone movement”. It not only banned the worship of the sky gods, but, also, outlawed the worship of ancestors because they perceived it as a magical deviation from the true worship.
After the Assyrians conquered and destroyed the northern kingdom of Israel in 722 B.C., the Yahweh-alone-ists became even more convinced of their cause. They attributed the military disaster at the hands of the Assyrians to the neglect of the one God whose exclusive worship they advocated.
In the divided and conquered Israel, the small southern kingdom of Judah alone survived. The Judahite king Hezekiah (716-687 B.C.) attempted a cultic and legal reform, emphasizing the exclusivity of Yahweh worship. King Hezekiah’s reform either failed or remained unimplemented because nothing really changed during his reign. It was nearly another century before the Yahweh-alone-ist movement became the decisive factor in official Judahite policy.
In 623 B.C., the Judahite King Josiah proclaimed Yahweh was the only god to be worshipped, apparently accomplishing the aim of the earlier reform. Biblical reports tell of Josiah’s reform getting “rid of mediums and necromancers, of all household gods and idols, and all the abominations” (2 Kings 23:24).
By taking such a decisive step toward monotheism, Josiah drastically reduced private worship and especially ritual activities relating to the dead. The placing of food near or in the tomb as a funeral offering, a ritual that formerly was a real sacrifice to the gods of the underworld, was reduced to a simple gesture of convention or tradition. The ritual was stripped of its cosmological significance.
While Josiah’s reform outlawed certain traditional practices concerning the dead, it did not create new beliefs to replace earlier traditions regarding life after death. A more philosophical examination of the meaning of death and the afterlife appears in the Book of Job, which dates from the fifth century B.C. Job continues the trend begun in the eighth century with King Hezekiah - it devalues the role of the dead.
The Book of Job recognizes that, when one’s earthly life ceases, one is cut off permanently from life on earth, without communication either way, and, perhaps worse, one is cut off from God himself. Job, in his suffering, longs to go to Sheol until the time when God will remember him, but he knows that will not be; there is no hope of it. The Book of Job proclaims that the dead have no knowledge of the living; they cannot influence those on earth. Although a dead man’s descendants may honor him, he knows nothing of it (Job 14:21).
“Who will praise the Most High in Sheol?” asks Ecclesiasticus, written in the second century B.C. “When a man is dead and ceases to be, his gratitude dies with him” (Ecclesiasticus 17:27,28). There can thus be no relationship between Yahweh and the dead.
The two major taboos - 1) prohibiting relating to any deity but Yahweh, and 2) prohibiting a relationship between the dead and Yahweh - condemned the dead to a meaningless fate and existence. They could not even ask for consolation from the living. Since the realms of the living and the dead were completely separated, no communication could take place between them. Things got so bad during this time period, priest avoided any ritual connection with the dead, because they were not even allowed to attend the funerals of their own parents (Leviticus 21:11).
Israelite theology focused on the practices of a this-worldly religion rather than on the futile speculations of the life of the dead. The pious who meet with unfortunate circumstances on earth had to be promised rewards in this life. God rewarded Job in his lifetime with health, family, and wealth. Job received his blessing “twice as much as he had before” (Job 42:10).
Next time – we’ll investigate the re-establishment in the hope of an afterlife from a Judeo-Christian perspective, which began with the Babylonian destruction of Jerusalem in 586 B.C.
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.garden
A/N: A very shitty (imo) Dan/Val Gods AU feat. Meddling Paulina and Sam. If you have trouble visualizing the temples, just message me! I had trouble figuring out how to even describe what was in my head, so don’t feel bad if you don’t get it!
Warning: Language
Valerie crushed the goblet in her hand, rage seeping through her eyes and threatening to kill anyone in their path. "I will kill him."
Sam eyed her from across the room, absentmindedly wrapping vines of ivy around her wrist. "You won't."
"Yes, I will." The Goddess of Justice stood up, crisp, white robes fluttering around her ankles. "I will murder him and force him to pass through his own domain like a mortal."
Sam rose a brow. "You realize that Jazz will kill you if you do that, right?" The Goddess of Wisdom had always been quite protective of him, even if he was only part of her brother's original soul.
"I don't care." Valerie began to pace back and forth in the small garden house. "As long as Phantom dies, I'm fine with whatever she does to me."
Paulina, who was busy paying attention to her own reflection in her mirror, pouted and sat up on the couch. "Wait, is Phantom really dying?" She let out a sigh. "That sucks. I never even got to see him naked."
Sam let out a sound of disgust. "Paulina."
"What?" She glared at the pale-skinned woman. "Don't try and tell me you haven't thought about it."
Paulina tilted her head to the side, inky black hair falling past her shoulders in perfect curls. "Val, if you're going to kill him can you at least let me look 'im over one last time."
"Nobody's killing anybody," hissed Sam. "Valerie, if you just talk to him I'm sure he'd-."
"No."
Sam let out a heavy sigh, the ivy around her wrist drooping with stress. "Then what do you want? It's not like he knows that you're bent out of shape over this."
"He messed with my temple," Valerie hissed, "My sanctuary. He should at least give me an apology."
"Then tell him you're mad!"
"And go near that thing he calls a temple?" Valerie rolled her eyes. "As if."
Sam sighed and drained the life from the ivy. "Fine. If you're too stubborn to take care of it, then I'll do it myself."
Valerie stopped. "What in the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Exactly what I said."
"You didn't have to come with me," said Sam.
"I know," said Paulina, way too giddy for someone that was currently walking into the underworld. "I've never been down here before." The Goddess of Beauty looked around, taking note of the cave-like walls and chill air. "But, now that I'm here...this is kinda...grungy."
"No shit, he lives in the Underworld," hissed Sam as they descended down the stairs.
Back when the Earth was first created, Dan had not existed. The Original Gods had never planned to have a God of Destruction or two Gods to reign over the night.
Dan wasn't created until one fateful night when the God of Vengeance tried to steal the son of the King and Queen of the Heavens. The baby's spirit was split in two, resulting in Dan and his counterpart, Danny. Dan was cursed to stay in the Underworld while Danny stayed in the Heavens.
Ever since then, Dan had remained reclusive and cold to all the other Gods, even his own parents. The only people he was even seen talking to were the God of Time, Clockwork, and the Goddess of Wisdom, his older sister.
The pair finally reached the tall entrance doors. Solid marble hid things that two of them had never seen before. Their imaginations were the only things they could use to visualize the rumored horrors that Phantom kept locked away from the other Gods.
Sam took a deep breath. "Are you ready?" Paulina nodded.
Sam pushed the door open and paused. "Oh." She blinked. “Holy shit.”
Paulina gawked. "This is Phantom's place?"
The two looked around the temple, amazed by how elegant and beautiful it was. The first floor was circular, with windows on almost every wall so one could gaze out at the stormy ocean that encompassed the room. Tall columns accented with gold brushed against the painted ceilings. Two sets of stairs flanked the throne in the middle, which was surrounded by trinkets and treasures thrown out by humanity.
Dan entered the room, hair flickering around his face and past his shoulders. Undead servants trailed behind him, arms full of scrolls and maps.
He looked at the pair in surprise. "Samantha? Paulina?" He sent his servants away with a flick of his wrist. "What are you two doing here?"
"It's Sam," corrected the Goddess. She nudged Paulina and the two of them bowed. "God of Destruction and keeper of the moon, we have come to ask a favor of you."
Dan raised a brow. "A favor? I don't do those."
Sam rose and frowned. "It's very important. If you would just listen-."
Dan waved his hand and turned away. "If it involves your petty matters in the Heavens then don't throw me in the mix. I mind my business and will continue to do so."
"But you minding your business is what brought us here," stressed Sam. "Please, you just-."
"It's concerning Valerie," chimed in Paulina using her sickeningly sweet voice. As Dan turned around, she jutted out her bottom lip. "She has been very upset lately because of what you did."
Whether it was because if Paulina's devilish tricks or the mention of Valerie, Sam would never know, but Dan's blue face began to tinge with blush. "Something I did?" he asked. He stepped closer toward the women and they realized how tall, how foreboding, he was. "What did I do to upset her?"
"Her garden," explained Sam, "Your tides ruined her garden a few days ago. It was a gift from her human father."
Dan made a strange face. "Gift from her human father?"
"Yeah," said Paulina, "Not all of us were born in the Heavens, y'know."
Dan weighed this new information in his head. "Then tell her I'm sorry,” he said after a moment of thought.
Sam frowned. "That's it?"
Dan quirked a brow. "Very sorry?"
Part of Sam wanted to strangle him, to break the windows and flood the place as she wrapped goopy seaweed around his neck and choked him to death. It was a sentimental gift for crying out loud! And with Valerie’s father long gone and the centuries passing faster than the seconds, there was no way that she or Valerie could replicate the garden. Flora got lost and evolved over time just like empires.
But the other part of Sam was then one that huffed and bowed. She knew there was no way Dan would understand; all those years of being trapped down here probably ruined his emotional development and fucked with his logic. She accepted this, because this was probably as good as it'd get.
"Thank you, Phantom," said Sam. "I'm sure Valerie will be happy to hear this."
He nodded and the two Goddess left without a word.
"We can't tell Valerie that," said Sam as she plopped down on Paulina's mountain of pillows.
Paulina lived on a piece of a cumulus cloud; her temple composed of cotton-like matter and rays of sunshine. She has decorated most of it with diamonds, roses and whatever else her devotees left at her altar. It was the most beautiful temple around, which was quite fitting for the Goddess of Beauty.
Paulina floated down on her favorite cloud and pulled out a brush. "You're right," she said as she brushed her curls, "Maybe we can work out something with Clockwork and get him to reverse this whole week."
Sam shook her head as she stared up the night sky. The stars twinkled brightly, something Danny often did. He liked for the constellations to be visible and for the stars to be as bright as the moon when he placed them in the sky.
Sam sighed. "We just need to think of something-."
Suddenly, they heard a loud boom that bounced off the sky and echoed through the stars.
Someone was flying.
Flight was an ability that Gods only used in emergencies. It was draining, using up all your energy and strength. Too much flight could kill a God, so why was-.
They flew past Paulina's cloud, fluttering both of their hair. "Who in the-?"
Petals.
They scattered across the sky in a flurry of colors, drifting down like winter snow. Paulina caught one in her hand. "You don't think-?"
The two women looked at each other and gasped. "Shit! Phantom!"
The two of them chased after him, panic setting in. They descended the stairs and watched helplessly as he flew toward Valerie's temple. Sam huffed, "You don't think he's doing what I think he's doing, right?"
"That bastard is crazy!" said Paulina as she rushed up the steps. “Of course he is!”
Out of breath and surely too late, they finally reached Valerie's temple: two adjacent valleys that her temple covered and often shifted with when the tectonic plates moved. The building, made of marble and gold, stood proudly on the surface. Outside on her balcony stood Phantom, bundles of flowers in his arms, talking to Valerie.
Sam and Paulina hid at the landing of the stairs behind a few bushes, listening in on their conversation
"I mean it," Dan said, pushing the flowers toward her. "So here, these should be enough for you to start a new garden."
Instead of taking all of them, Valerie plucked one flower from the pile and placed it in her hair. "Why?"
He frowned. "Why? Your friends barged into my temple, telling me that I upset you. I assumed this would make up for it."
"But why? We've never talked before and we're definitely not friends-."
"Rude," noted Dan.
"-so why do you even care that I was upset?"
"Because..." Dan trailed off, feeling his face- his whole body really -grow warm.
Valerie sighed, noticing his lack of speech but not knowing the real reason behind it, and decided not to push the issue any further. She took the bundles of flowers from his arms. "Thank you."
"...you're welcome."
Dan turned to leave, glad to finally be through with the whole ordeal, but Valerie stopped him. "Don't you feel weak?" she asked, grabbing his hand.
Dan turned slightly, hoping to avoid showing her his blushing face. "W-What?"
"You flew here from the Underworld. You're not gonna be able to make it back down even if you use the stairs." She pulled him close. "Stay the night. I'll have the servants prepare a room for you and everything."
Paulina and Sam gawked at their friend. "She can't be serious?!" whispered Sam furiously. "That'll ruin her standing with the other Gods!"
"Shh!" hissed Paulina, "They're talking again."
"I insist," said Valerie, tugging on his sleeve.
"If someone caught me here-."
"Who cares?"
"You should," said Dan, brow furrowed.
"Well, us Kuano Gods don't care about that type of stuff like you Originals do." Valerie casted a wicked look toward the stairs. "Isn't that right, ladies?"
Sam let out a squeak as she turned pale. Paulina on the other hand-.
"Yeah!" she shouted, glad to be free from her hiding spot. "Go inside Phantom!"
Dan scoffed at Valerie's friends. "Fine, I'll stay for the night," he told her before walking inside. Valerie smiled and followed him inside, observing the flowers as she did so.
The Goddess of Beauty pumped her fists in the air. "Yay! Just don't do anything I would do, Val!"
"Paulina!"
A/N: Kuano Gods are Gods that were humans. Sam, Paulina, and Val are Kuano Gods, which means that when they died they became Gods. Dan, Danny, Clockwork and Jazz are Originals, meaning they’ve been Gods since day 1.
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Admissions Videos Transcripts
● Video Source: https://admission.twisted-wonderland.aniplex.co.jp/
● Info: These videos first debuted at an in-person event at Shibuya Modi on October 26 & 27, 2019. Attendees were given an invitation card (pictured above) and instructed to place it in a “fire” where it then turned into a card with a keyhole. There were designated screens at this event which appeared blank to onlookers, but if you looked through the keyhole you received, you’d be able to see one of the dorm leaders greeting you. These videos were later posted on the official website on December 25.
・━━━━✥◈✥━━━━・
Dire Crowley
Please allow me to welcome you today to the mage-training school Night Raven College’s admissions experience. I am the school’s headmaster, Dire Crowley. Now, please place that invitation you are holding in the light.
Are you ready? If we were to host a proper entrance ceremony, the Mirror of Darkness would select a house that perfectly matches your soul. Today, however, is a special admissions experience. I will use my own magic to choose a house for you. What do you think? Aren’t I so kind?
Another thing, today is a bit different than an official sorting. Regardless of which house is chosen for you, please refrain from any complaining. Now then, shall we begin?
One! Two! Three!
A keyhole linked to the gates of Night Raven College has opened in what used to be your invitation. Now, don’t be afraid; take your invitation back from the light. Hold the keyhole up to your eye, and take a peek out from the gates. I wonder where your soul will be guided?
Riddle Rosehearts
My name is Riddle Rosehearts. I’m the dorm leader ruling over Heartslabyul, which was founded on the severity of the Queen of Hearts.
You’re the new student, right? Since you’ve joined Heartslabyul, you must obey the laws of the Queen of Hearts just like a card soldier. First, start with a greeting.
…No. Speak more nicely. Don’t twiddle your fingers. Turn out your toes, and curtsy! Open your mouth a little wider!
Very good. You have quite a bit of promise in you. I don’t hate a person who obeys the rules. I have faith you’ll be able to follow all 810 of them.
But I’ll tell you just in case: If you ever were to break one of this dormitory’s rules…You already know, don’t you? It’ll be off with your head. Keep that in mind.
Leona Kingscholar
Are you the new kid?
What? Why do you look so excited?
Yes, well, forgive me for not leaping for joy. I’m Leona Kingscholar. The dorm leader for the house founded in the indomitable spirit of the King of Beasts, Savanaclaw.
We have only one rule here that’s absolute: Obey the king. It’s something even an herbivore like you can understand. Not too much to ask for, right?
You want to know what happens if you break that rule? Oh, no, no, let’s not think about things you don’t need to. I’m worried something horrible will end up happening to our adorable little newbie.
There are tons of aggressive guys in Savanaclaw. You wouldn’t want to end up in a mess with a pack of starving hyenas, right? If you want to see the light of another day, then curl up your tail and do as you’re told.
Azul Ashengrotto
Hello. So you are the new student everyone’s been talking about. Allow me to welcome you to Octavinelle, the dorm founded on the mercy of the Sea Witch. I work as its dorm leader, Azul Ashengrotto.
You are really quite fortunate. Since you’ve become an Octavinelle student, you’ll be able to spend your school life without feeling miserable, lonely, or depressed!
Why, you ask? Should anything happen that leaves you troubled, I will immediately come to help you. Yes, feel free to ask me anything at all. As dorm leader, I’m only doing what’s expected of me. I am very kind to those who are obedient.
Of course… In the case that you are unable to pay the price… I would have to punish you. Even I would feel just anguished if I had to hear your screams. You wouldn’t do anything to make me sad… would you?
Kalim Al-Asim
Oh?! You’re here! I’m Kalim Al-Asim. I’m the dorm leader for Scarabia, the house founded in the tactical spirit of the Sorcerer of the Sand. I’ve been looking for you. ‘Cause we can’t start the party unless everyone’s here! Today’s gonna be so much fun!
Golden camels, purple peacocks, white Persian monkeys, birds that warble on key… and a whole bunch of other animals; we’ve brought them all! And also… a magic carpet!
We’ll watch the parade, dance and sing, and have the best time of our lives!! Ah! Obviously, I had a whole lot of food prepared too! Hehe! The food our vice leader makes is the absolute best!!
He… told me this isn’t the time to throw a party, but… don’t you think there should be a little fun in this, too?
RIGHT?! I have a really good feeling about you coming to our dorm! Don’t even worry. I am an excellent judge of character.
Vil Schoenheit
This is Pomefiore, the house founded on the heavy efforts of the Beautiful Queen. We’re the fairest dormitory at this academy, as well as the most historic. I’m the dorm leader, Vil Schoenheit.
Are you our new student? Hm~? Well, let’s see if you’re eligible for now. Although… This still isn’t good enough.
Do you think the color of that top really suits you? Do your hair and skin always look perfect? Do you keep your nails nicely polished? Right now, I spare no effort in making sure that I am the most beautiful. And since you’re a student here too, I’ll make sure you’re working to improve your own self too.
Pomefiore has no room for lazy people. If you ever try to go behind my back and even think about slacking off… You’ll experience something that will make your breath still and your blood congeal. Please prepare yourself.
Idia Shroud
I-I’m Idia… Idia Shroud. Hello. I-I’m the dorm leader for Ignihyde, the house founded on the… diligence of the… Lord of the Dead. Anyway…
Y-You… really are unlucky to have been chosen for this dorm. Welcome to a school life that’s nothing but dark and gloomy; I’m so sorry for you—it really almost feels like you’ve been abandoned by the Goddess of Fate herself, doesn’t it!
T-There’s a lot more accurate information you can find on the internet about our dorm than you can get from me; you can look those things up yourself.
…Do you still need something? You really are persistent. Unlike you new students, I have a really busy schedule.
If you want to get by peacefully at this academy, my advice to you would be to not stand out. The people here are nothing but bad news.
Malleus Draconia
Oh? There’s quite a clamor over here.
What? An admission experience? Hm? That’s what all these festivities are? In that case, are you one of the humans who were invited here?
Then I will introduce myself to you, who is nothing more than a baby. I am Malleus Draconia. The dorm leader of the house founded in the noble spirit of the Fairy of Thorns, Diasomnia. And… I’m a descendant of the king who reigns over all dwellers of the night.
What’s the matter? Don’t look so frightened. I’m not going to suddenly transform into a giant dragon and set you on fire or anything like that.
I would love to chat with you a little while longer, but I’m afraid we must part for today. I was not invited to this glittering assemblage, you see.
I apologize for barging in uninvited. …Tell that to the Headmaster for me.
Of course I’m not angry. I’m not.
There are several Disney easter eggs hidden in these dialogues. I reworded some of them to better match the version spoken in the English versions of the movies.
Below I gathered the official lines for both the EN and JP dubs if you’d like to compare! If text from the JP dub was different enough to point out, I translated that in italics.
Alice in Wonderland
The Queen of Hearts’ dialogue:
Look up, speak nicely, and don’t twiddle your fingers! Turn out your toes. Curtsy. Open your mouth a little wider.
もっと丁寧に。指を動かしてはいけないよ！左足を引いて、敬礼！口をもっとおおーきく開いて、こういうんだよ。
The Lion King
Scar’s dialogues:
Yes, well, forgive me for not leaping for joy.
そうか、飛び上がって喜べなくて悪いな。
You wouldn’t want to end up in another mess like you did with the hyenas.
この間のようにハイエナに襲われたら大変だろう。
You shall never see the light of another day.
お前は二度と、太陽を拝めぬ身の上。
The Little Mermaid
All of these cameos are lyrics from the song Poor Unfortunate Souls.
The miserable, lonely, and depressed
憂鬱で悩める人
On the whole, I’ve been a saint
いい子には優しい (I’m kind to good children)
Someone couldn’t pay the price and I’m afraid I had to rake ‘em cross the coals
お代もら��ず、お仕置きするの 泣きながら
Aladdin
All of the animals Kalim lists were also mentioned in the song Prince Ali.
Additionally, one of Kalim’s lines reflects a dialogue spoken by the Sultan:
I am an excellent judge of character.
わしの人を見る目は確かじゃ。
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
The Evil Queen’s dialogue:
Her breath will still, her blood congeal.
息は止まって、血も凍りつく。
Hercules
“A little dark, a little gloomy” is how Hades sardonically describes the Underworld.
“The Goddess of Fate” refers to the Fates, who are called the “Three Goddesses of Fate” in JP
Sleeping Beauty
“Glittering assemblage” is the phrase Maleficent uses to describe Aurora’s birthday celebration
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