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themarauderstheoutsidersandpeggy · 6 years

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hey! i'd like to know if you could write something about y/n having social anxiety and being a gryffindor, so she thinks she shouldn't be there. maybe the marauders (especially sirius) making her realize that she belongs to gryffindor?

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Your hands shook as you maneuvered yourself through the corridors, the after-dinner rush being almost too much to handle with your anxiety. Crowds did not sit well with you and you could barely breathe as millions of voices and footsteps and people rushed past you, some bumping into you in passing.

You began to push through the crowd more aggressively, the urge to get to your common room, run up to your bed and curl up in the blankets consuming you. You finally reached the fat lady, mumbling the password and stepping forwards as she swung to the side.

You didn’t stop to look at the common room at all, your gaze was fixed on the staircase that led to your dorm and if it weren’t for the four boys calling your name all at once, you wouldn’t have noticed that anyone was there in the common room at all.

You were halfway up the staircase, hand already extended towards the knob ten feet in front of you. Your fingers were almost touching the cold smooth metal when you heard voices finally break through the constant thoughts circling in your head.

“Y/N!”

You froze, hand slowly coming down to rest at your side as you spun, a smile as fake as Marlene’s boobs plastered onto your face (I don’t even know I just thought of it and giggled please send help love marlene tho we stan).

“Hey guys…”

“you okay? You look a little pale.”

You grimaced, trying to turn it into a soft smile towards Remus who’s brows were furrowed.

“I’m fine, dinner just didn’t sit well I guess. I’m gonna go.”

“Wait, let us take care of you!”

“No!”

Your protest was rushed and aggressive, the realization that you looked suspicious hitting you too late. They were all worried now, frowns etched onto everyone’s faces as they took in the way your hands slightly shook at your sides, and the way your shoulders seemed to curl inwards, giving you the appearance of caving in on yourself. James was the first one to move, ascending the stairs two at a time until he reached you, taking your hand in his.

You looked down, letting James guide you back to the couch and slowly sank into the cushions. There was clearly only so long that you could avoid your friends’ questions as you felt them all stare at the side of your face.

“I shouldn’t be here”

“Where? If you really don’t feel good, I can take you to Madam Pomfr-”

“Sirius, I don’t mean specifically on the couch. I mean here in general.”

“Tell us what you mean by that love, where?”

“In Gryffindor. I don’t belong, I don’t even know why I’m here.”

You sighed, raising a hand and covering your eyes, lips set in a thin line as you began to fight back tears.

“Y/N Y/L/N. You listen to me right now. You’re the most deserving of us all, you have to fight through every day and you’ve never failed, you always live to see the next day, don’t you? Hell, I wasn’t even sure I was supposed to be here until you were able to convince me that a name isn’t everything, and that I was a Gryffindor no matter what. you shouldn’t have to go through any of this, and it makes me so sad that you do, but you can’t just give up on yourself like this. You’re incredibly strong and brave, and I think you’re more of a Gryffindor than any of us are.”

Your hand was pulled away from your eyes, the grip on your wrist slowly fading as Sirius wiped away the few tears that had escaped during his speech. He reached over, a hand on either side of your waist and pulled you into him, laying his head on your shoulder. He felt you curl into him slightly, he knew the fear of not being ‘enough’ and he sighed, turning his head to press a kiss to your cheek.

“Y/N, we all love you exactly how you are, we don’t care about anxiety. Do you know how freaked out I get in classes when the teacher calls on me? Whether I know the answer or not, it always scares me. I understand the feeling. I think all of us know something about anxiety, and I know we’re all here to love you and get you through anything.”

Your eyes were swimming with tears by then, the feeling of support from your friends flooding your chest and filling your body. You smiled, lips slightly wet from the tears that rolled down your cheeks.

“You guys don’t know how long I’ve thought about how I shouldn’t be here. I think about it all the time and I’ve never told anyone so they never know. It means so much to me that you heard me even when I wasn’t speaking.”

“The words that we don’t say are usually the ones that mean the most to us Y/N. We know you, and we know that you deserve to be here, whether your brain thinks so or not. Now, anyone up for a sleepover?”

You laughed at James’ childish request, squealing when Sirius stood suddenly, seizing the blanket that was draped over the arm of the couch and wrapping you up in it. He hoisted you into his arms, holding you close to his chest while he ran up the stairs, bumping the door open with his side. He reached his bed, tossing you onto it and jumping on before you had time to readjust yourself. You grunted, being trapped under your best friend was not what you thought was going to happen, but you smiled as he laid his head on your chest. His eyes slid closed, and his breathing began to even but before he was completely asleep, he leaned up, mouth right next to your ear.

“Love you baby. Sleep well.”

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