#hating bella is the biggest red flag for me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vintageseawitch · 1 year

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if there are any twilight book sequels written then published, i promise to look up spoilers because if i find out the Volturi decide to create hybrids of their own (🤢🤮) then i will refuse to read let alone own them. as curious as Aro may be about it, it's horrendous that he would try it out himself. the creation of hybrids is legitimately terrifying body horror to me & even Aro's "indifference" towards humans doesn't automatically make him a psychopath about this sort of thing.

Aro, despite his penchant for ruthlessness, is a softie, too. i like to imagine the thought of putting a uterus-owner through such a specific & horrific form of torture fills him with revulsion & guilt. yes, humans are red-eyed vampires' food, but even humans get disturbed at the thought of animals they consume going through needless pain especially for selfish reasons.

at this point the canon of this silly franchise means approximately shit to me so if smeyers decides to make her refined, considerably more interesting clan of vampires into true monsters, she can fuck right off because they deserve better than that. they're not villains simply because they're doing what is natural to them & the Cullens are a creepier cult than the Volturi will ever be. at least everyone knows that the three kings are dangerous. the Cullens are too busy being gentrified hypocrites (completely beige & lacking a good, old-fashioned dungeon & set of coffins... the dark drama is what draws us to vampires in the first place & someone like Forever Emo Teenager McWalking Red Flag scoffs at such things like a good little boring creeper on top of them actually not giving a damn about humans considering how in midnight sun it's clear they wouldn't have batted an eye at killing bella because said little boring creeper - or the prodigal son 🙄 - can barely control himself around her like it's her problem to deal with. glob i hate that & his losing control around her would make their "lives" a Little Bit Uncomfortable lmao) with Whatever The Fuck Weird Dynamic they have going on.

if anyone would be cruel anyways, it would be Caius out of the three kings, but i refuse to believe even he would go that far. a part of it is the thought of needing to be close to a human like that would disgust him but another is at least when they feed it's quick. if anyone is to endure a terribly long torture it would be Nahuel's biological father because he's a real monster. like, yes, somehow the Volturi never found out about hybrids, but they never went & tried to find out what would happen themselves.

i like to think the more the three kings researched it the more horrified they would be, but that could just be my biases & preferences showing. bella & edward's daughter displays disturbingly similar compulsory "abilities" or however one would describe them like Immortal Children because everyone's sudden pull to her after she touched them is WAY too similar to the enchantment vampires experience around the latter type of child so i think the Volturi (especially Jane) would be weirded out by that connection considering how long they've studied them.

i'm not saying every hybrid is like bella & edward's kid, but i'm pretty sure Aro noticed that neither she nor the rest of the family really like or trust the Volturi that much PLUS the Romanians are some of her favorite vamps. pretty sure that has put the Volturi on their guard (so to speak) (also Carlisle what the FUCK why are you being so weird about the Volturi. why tf does edward have his stupid attitude about them whyyyy make them your enemy especially considering the drama in new moon & eddie blatantly disrespecting the ancient group by expecting them to be Suicide Assistance as though that's what they're there for & have nothing better to do & Aro doing you a MASSIVE favor). ya know, as pretty as he's portrayed in the movies, i'm liking him as a character less & less (he's the biggest hypocrite of them all & playing a dangerous game of delusions - like hun, sorry, but no matter how much you pretend, you are not a human any longer & maybe you don't realize it (or WANT to) but you totally think you're better than humans seeing as you bend their rules especially if it's for your extremely problematic red-headed "son" - but THEN AGAIN you're certainly good at wiping out local wildlife like big predators so maybe you're more like humans than you think & i mean that as a slur).

i totally get derailed in my little rants on here & i'm only a little bit embarrased since this is pretty much how my brain works & how i talk lmao so tl;dr if the Volturi become the worst kind of monsters in future books when it comes to hybrids (aka "making their own" 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮), smeyers can fuck right off some more & the Cullens & their creepy cult & creepier hybrid kid are the worst. i still like Emmett though even if he chooses to stick around the problematic bunch (pretty sure Carlisle has a gift as well; it's amazing that so many vampires are not only able to live with each other peacefully but rigidly stick to a diet that is unnatural to their kind - a kind of creature that follows their instincts above almost most things. oh Carlisle, you certainly transferred your wild need to repress almost too exceedingly well).

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lefttoewrites · 3 years

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thoughts on edward? Only asking cus I don’t see team jacob a lot <3 your hc’s for him r cute btw no hate

Ok so I have a FEW opinions about Sparkle Man, I’m glad you asked.

(Side note: thanks for sayin my Jacob Headcanons are cute, it means a lot to me)

So one of the biggest reasons I’m not Team Edward is because I probably would have punched him if I was Bella in the first Twilight Book. It could be because smeyer (derogatory) chose to write Bella as a shy, clumsier self-insert, but I would have been SO heated if Edward talked to me in the way he talked to her. Especially when he literally gaslit her and told her she didn’t know what she was talking about. I understand it’s because he probably didn’t want to openly admit he’s a vampire but still, that’s no excuse to be a jerk to her.

I also don’t like the controlling shit he does in some of the other films and books. In New Moon, he doesn’t even bother taking her home after breaking up with her. Just leaves her out in the fuckin woods to fend for herself. Have some decency. it takes HOURS for the town to find her. Asks her to promise him not to do anything reckless, but puts the responsibility of his actions onto Bella’s shoulders when he made her depressed. Tbh he’s also kind of a pissbaby for trying to restrict Bella’s access to her emotional support (Jacob) as soon as he decides to reappear in Bella’s life. I’ll take Big Red Flags for 200, please.

Another thing from New Moon that I found irritating was that if I was Bella, I wouldn’t have invited Edward back into my life after the emotional trauma he put her through. I’m pretty sure she was depressed for months and he decides to come back as soon as Bella’s doing good? Bro fuck that Lmaoo I’d be so mad. Pretty sure Bella only did that cause she’s a self insert but still.

When they’re looking at the wall and Bella’s like “r those graduation caps” and he’s like “it’s an inside joke”— NO ITS FUCKING NOT LMAOAO

Points to eddie for that “wait for her to say the words” line cause that was gold, but I’m pretty sure she didn’t ask him to sneak into her room at night to watch her sleep either.

That being said he was good in their marriage. Not mad about that. No critique there.

That’s all I’ve got for Rn but I’m also totally blown away that someone submitted an ask so soon so ty for letting me ramble <3

#team edward #Edward Cullen #bella cullen #bella x edward #twilight #twilight renaissance #writing #the cullens #team jacob

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figonas · 3 years

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Twilight Re-watch Notes Pt. 1 - A Contest for the Worst Movie Quote in History

I'd like to think I'm funny so please enjoy my scene-by-scene notes from a recent Twilight Saga re-watch.

Hey Catherine Hardwicke, opening with the death of an animal was probably not the best choice but go off I guess??

There is a lot of general Bella awkwardness that I'm skipping over here but the scene in gym class is so horrifically, painfully uncomfortable that I almost passed out from the second-hand embarrassment.

Jessica trying her best to be fake nice to the human embodiment of a crumpled soda can: "Aren't people from Arizona like....really tan"

Bella with all the cadence of a child who just found out Santa isn't real: "yeah..I guess that's why they kicked me out"

Mike clearly just trying to get his dick wet: "HAHAH you are funny"

no mike she is not.

I'm not gonna go into the biology class scene because god knows tumblr has beaten that particular horse to death. BUT the scene in the administration office immediately after that is a TRIP. Edward has one of his most dramatic lines here when they won't let him switch classes: “I’ll just have to endure it” ?!?!?!?!?!?! This is INSANITY, he sounds like he's going to burst into tears like Edward please chill you aren't even being a little subtle.

I will never get over Bella trying to put Ketchup on her burger and then just???? giving up???? when it doesn't come out after she limply shakes it approximately once.

“HOW YOU LIKIN DA RAIN GIRL” Is our first contender for the worst and most unnatural line in movie history, and trust me there are plenty more.

Bella accusatorily saying “you were gone” to Edward as if this dude who she met for approximately 30 minutes 2 weeks ago owes her even a PALTRTY SCRAP of an explanation about anything???????

Actually, this whole scene is a horrific nightmare of awkward intrusive conversation:

“You’re asking me about the weather” HOE WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GONNA TALK ABOUT YOU DON’T KNOW EACH OTHER

“hey did you get contacts” WHO JUST ASKS THAT?!?

and of course; “it’s the fluorescents” [RUNS AWAY]

Charlie and Bella have the only organic-sounding dialogue in the entire movie. Any awkwardness they have is BELIEVABLE father-daughter awkwardness and not like "I'm being forced to film this against my will" awkwardness like every other exchange in this film series.

Bella asks Edward ALL OF ONCE about him saving her from the truck and Edward gets so haughty and smug thinking that Bella won't figure it out

“you’re not gonna let this go are you?” “no” “then I hope you enjoy disappointment” [storms off] MY DUDE LITERALLY 2 SCENES LATER SHE FIGURES IT OUT IN 3 GOOGLE CLICKS

“I had an adrenaline rush, it’s very common you can google it” contender number two for the terrible dialogue award.

Edward saying “if you were smart you would stay away from me” AFTER HE APPROACHED HER LIKE FUCK OFF [skeleton throwing its own skull gif]

Kstew got a lot of flack for her performance in this movie but when she has a good partner to exchange lines with she SHINES. The scene with Angela and her at the beach where she tells her to ask Eric to prom is GOOD. EVERY scene with Charlie in THIS ENTIRE FRANCHISE is GOOD. It is nothing but pure misogyny that Rpatz didn’t catch any flack for his truly, horrifically awkward performance

I cannot believe Stephanie thought it would be a good idea to have Edward save Bella from potentially getting gang r*ped like I get it girl is about the drama but still this is just a TOOOUCH too far

“your hand is so cold,” WHO SAYS THIS TO SOMEONE THEY BARELY KNOW COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED???

SHE TRIES TO REFUSE CARRYING BEAR MACE WHEN SHE WAS ALMOST R*PED NOT 4 HOURS PREVIOUSLY LIKE SIS CARRY A KNIFE?!?!?!?!?

The “you’re impossibly fast & strong” monologue is so bad I want to barf

“I’ve killed people before” “doesn’t matter” BITCH YES IT DOES WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

“MY OWN PERSONAL BRAND OF HEROIN” IS SO BAD. Like we all recognize how bad this is right? Especially when one considered the target demographic for these films, i.e. teenage girls, have NO FUCKING FRAME OF REFERENCE FOR THIS WHAT.SO.EVER.

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb” YOU’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR ALL OF 3 SECONDS I CAN’T WITH Y'ALL. AT LEAST THE BOOK HAD SOME BUILD-UP JESUS GEEZUS

Who thought this meadow scene was a good idea, they need to be sent straight to hell. WHY ARE THEY LAYING DOWN LIKE, SIT MAYBE?????? IT’S SO WEIRD AND UNNATURAL THEY LOOK LIKE DOLLS I HATE IT

The scene where they get out of the car and Edward puts his arm around Bella while Spotlight by Mutemath plays in the background is TOP TIER teen drama bs and I love it. Far and away the best shot in the movie apart from The Baseball Scene(TM).

I will never get over the fact that Edward's bitch ass rats Bella out for already eating when she comes over to meet his family. BE FUCKING COOL EDWARD FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, GOD!!!

Esme is too pure for this world I can’t deal with her, & Emmet waving the knife is my favorite thing in all 5 of these movies

Why tf are Alice and Jasper fucking off doing god knows what in a tree and not helping with dinner like everyone else? Y'all ain't special even Rosalie is helping

Esme talking to Rosalie “Clean this up..now” I LOVE YOU BE MY MOM

Earlier they talk about the fact that vampires don’t sleep BUT the first thing Bella says when she walks into Edward's room is “no bed” girl we know what you after you ain't slick.....

WHAT IS THIS DANCING SCENE IN HIS BEDROOM IT’S HORRIBLE TO WATCH and I want to find whoever thought “well I could always make you” was a good line for Edward to say and slap them directly in the mouth.

“hold on tight spider monkey” excuse me while I VOMIT

Mike offering his opinion on Bella dating Edward HOWEVER justified is automatically invalidated by A. his own romantic interest in Bella and B. the fact that he has also know Bella for all of 10 minutes & has no bearing on her personal life whatsoever

THE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS THIS MAN HAS BEEN COMING INTO HER ROOM AND WATCHING HER SLEEP THIS IS RED FLAG CITY LIKE BELLA WATCH A TRUE CRIME DOCUMENTARY OR READ THE NEWS FOR FUCKS SAKE

THIS FRANCHISE HAS THE MOST HORRIBLE KISSING SCENES IN MOVIE HISTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN HEAR LITERALLY EVERY BREATH, EVERY AWKWARD PRESS OF LIPS. You're telling me THIS was the best take of this???? CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW AWKWARD THIS WAS TO FILM

The whole scene when Bella is telling her dad about her date with Edward is absolutely god tier. Charlie snapping the barrel of the shotgun closed, him motioning that he has a halo on, asking her if she still has her pepper spray. BILLY BURKE LIFTED THIS MOVIE UP AND TRIED SO HARD TO CARRY IT ON HIS BROAD, MUSTACHIOED DAD SHOULDERS, WE STAN

WHERE TO START WITH THE BASEBALL SCENE:

Supermassive Black Hole in the background, Alice going AWF with her pitching, Rosalie getting all pissed when Bella says she's out and Emmett yells "c'mon babe it's just a game" like the puppy dog of a person (vampire?) he is, CARLISLE WEARING A SCARF WHILE PLAYING BASEBALL, I WILL NEVER EMOTIONALLY RECOVER FROM JASPERS BAT TRICKS, EMMET AND EDWARDS LAUGH AFTER CRASHING INTO ONE ANOTHER.

A TRULY IMMACULATE MOVIE SCENE. This scene isn’t long enough

“My monkey man” might be the worst line in this movie, I’m so torn between which one is the worst. Also, I'm just now realizing that this is the second time someone has compared a loved one to some type of monkey and I really don't like it.

Bella's defeated “I can’t hurt him” breaks my heart every time. AND FUCKING BILLY BURKE pulling out his acting chops with Charlie’s poor little broken sounding “I know I’m not that much fun to be around we can do more stuff together” & “I just gotcha back” LIKE LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SCENE HURTS ME ON A PHYSICAL LEVEL AND I AM ENTITLED TO FINANCIAL COMPENSATION

I know I've skipped over a lot but it's just a lot of like star wipe level montage of nonsense, so we are mOVING ON to what is possibly the biggest plot hole I've never recognized before now: How in the hell was James planning on luring Bella out if he didn’t find that videotape of Bella's mom looking for her????? Or was he just going to bust up in the holiday inn, metaphorical guns blazing & toss Bella out a window???

This fight scene between James & Edward is VERY poorly choreographed and you can practically see the stunt wires pulling on their clothes but no one is surprised..this is Twilight after all.

Who the fuck starts the fire in the ballet studio if Carlisle & Edward are with Bella, Jasper and Emmet are holding James's arms and Alice is ripping his head off???? Esme and Rosalie aren't there so the only explanation is that Emmett's power Stephanie never told us about is his ability to start small, controlled, indoor bonfires with his mind.

If Bella was losing blood from her femoral artery it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that she would have been cognizant enough to tell them her hand was burning + THERE’S A BIG ASS BITE HOW DID THEY MISS IT???

Let Me Sign is such a good fucking song. Actually, while we're on music every song on every Twilight Saga soundtrack SLAPS. At least 1 department at Summit Entertainment was staffed with competent people. (side note, why the fuck do I know the studio by name that made this movie. I need to go lie down)

Bella acting a damn fool in the hospital bed like clingy much

CHARLIE IS SUCH A GOOD DAD FUCK!

The Edward/Jacob beef is so dramatic at prom can you both chill for 5 minutes we haven't even gotten to y'alls bullshit yet that's not until New Moon.

Bella really thought this mfer was gonna turn her at prom in the middle of the dancefloor??????????

Flightless Bird American Mouth. That's it, that's the bullet point

Victoria coming to prom, like we stan a dramatic bitch.

I will almost CERTAINLY post my New Moon (Extended Edition) notes in a few days. & yes I do have notes on the entire franchise.

#I had a lot more but I cut it down #a lot of my extra stuff was just talking about RPatz slipping inexplicably into a Spanish accent from time to time #no one seems to notice #but I fucking do #I hear the way he says 'so you're worried' and want to caCKLE OUT LOUD #I'm not nearly as funny as I think I am but ask me if I give a fuck #baby I will subject you to my poor humor #Twilight #Twilight Saga

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aefintyr · 5 years

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what's one thing u want people to know or remember about ur muses?

Uhhhhhhhhhhh, this is an unexpected question lmao I literally had to sit here for a few minutes and just like, think about it. Because I’m like, terrible at headcanons. I usually keep that shit in my brain or I vomit it at friends lol

LETA PYRITES

As much as Leta is justified in their actions, it doesn’t excuse what they’ve done and they know it. Yes, their role is mainly as a spy and blackmailing others but they have witnessed many, many deaths, been complicit in the deaths of many Muggles and Muggleborns, and have actively killed when they’ve had to. They’ve never wanted to and don’t enjoy it, but they know it doesn’t matter in the eyes of their victims or their victims’ loved ones. In their eyes, they’re just another Death Eater, another Pureblood, another monster. Their reasons don’t matter. And Leta has learned to live with this.

ÉTIENNETTE WILKES

My sweetest, softest, rose-tinted girl. She isn’t the serpent hiding underneath the flower, she is the flower. But that doesn’t mean she’s innocent. She compromises her morals until they become basically irrelevant because she chooses her friends over morality, over what is right. She surrounds herself with monsters, cares for monsters, and willingly works for the biggest monster of them all. Part of it is being inadvertently conditioned over the years by her friends to disregard her morals, but a lot of it is by choice.

MARY MACDONALD

Her Catholic upbringing had a big effect on how she views the world, regardless of whether or not she still believes in God but especially when she stops. It affected her disillusionment and subsequent distrust of Dumbledore, and it affected her own morality when it had been so absolute. Thou shalt not kill. Her faith and belief in God was one of the foundations of who she was, and that gets absolutely shattered after Mulciber nearly kills her. Through the haze of depression and emptiness that follows, she eventually comes to two startling conclusions: either God isn’t real and could have never saved her or God is real and didn’t bother to. She takes a sharp left turn into morally ambiguous territory, and as they say - the rest is history.

PANDORA LOVEGOOD

The fact that she is a Malfoy is so, so important to her character, y’all, like I’m not even fucking with you. It gives context to how she interacts with others, her relationship with blood purity and Death Eaters, the subsequent rejection of those things because she doesn’t have time for that and just why Pandora treats the world a particular way in reference to how she’s always been treated throughout her life.

ALECTO CARROW

Alecto has numerous ugly scars on her back inflicted upon her through dark magic by her father. Her back is honestly a mess of horrendous scar tissue and have never properly healed due to the nature of cursed wounds, and she has always been self-conscious of it. Her father made sure it was on a place that generally others wouldn’t notice. When she attends pureblood events and parties, she never wears backless dresses and is very particular when she has sex with others. They’re a permanent reminder of what she has to live up to, of her father’s expectations and punishments when she fails to. She hates him for it that she imagines killing him countless times and hopes to run away. She loves him enough that she continues to try and fail to be good enough for him.

GRISHA MCLAGGEN

Will I ever stop saying her relationship with Tom/Voldemort? Probably not. I mean, you can’t blame me when it’s kind of the center point of the fan film. He’s a crux component of her identity and the discovery of her heritage, and how she grew into herself during Hogwarts. Grisha holds herself responsible for not stopping him when she had the chance, when she had many chances to. For not seeing the red flags for what they truly are, for seeing them and turning away because she wanted to see him as the brilliant boy she fell in love with, as her best friend she was going to change the world with, as the hero who saved Hogwarts at the cost of a poor girl’s life and a sweet boy she knew. Grisha bought into the illusion and the person because she wanted to, because she couldn’t face the reality of who this boy she’s known all these years really was. Then she became an Auror as a result but it was already too late to save him from himself. And then she was too late to save her friends from him.

BELLATRIX LESTRANGE

Bella is a monster, plain and simple. She is a horrible, terrible human being and is a villain for a reason. I don’t see how you could ever forget this but don’t think I forgot this, because I definitely haven’t. She’s a powerful, deadly monster; delighting and an expert in killing people. But this doesn’t negate how important her relationship with her sisters is to her character and to me. To her, they are, or were, her soulmates; her flesh and blood, meant to be hers and meant to be by her side forever. She is not who she is without them. Her loyalty to them is fiercer, more absolute than her loyalty to her own parents - or so she thought. Andromeda’s betrayal entirely fractures her identity and how she saw herself and the world around her. She stops letting people in almost entirely, her distrust skyrockets, and she double downs on everything awful about herself while simultaneously becoming obsessive over those she cares about that she has left.

ALICE LONGBOTTOM

I don’t believe I’ve ever stated this on the blog yet or have it mentioned on Alice’s profile yet, but Alice was a fucking magical genius. She was a poster child prodigy born into the limelight because of her Quidditch superstar dad and Sacred 28 mum, constantly compared to and pitted against her Squib twin sister and she hated it. But she also worked hard to live up to her own expectations, and in some ways the expectations of her parents and the public. She is brilliant and good, applying herself to anything and everything - partially so her sister doesn’t miss out on all the sorts of magic Hogwarts has to offer. I believe Dumbledore would’ve recruited her regardless of whether or not she was an Auror, that was only a bonus. Basically, out of all my muses, she’s the only one who would actually be a threat to Bellatrix and the Lestrange brothers.

MAFALDA PREWETT

Okay, I often joke about how awful Mafalda is; how she likes to show off, is an attention seeker and is hungry for validation, sarcastic and bitchy and rude, and has a tendency to be nosy and eavesdrop and gossip about others. But like, she’s a match for Hermione in terms of intellectual and academic prowess. And she isn’t afraid to work hard for it, to make up for the years where she was left in the dark by her parents in order to catch up to her peers and be better than them. Like she genuinely enjoys learning and is very, very gifted and studious. She’s a tad bit too arrogant, sure, but there’s a genuine reason for her arrogance.

CHARITY BURBAGE

Charity is still very materialistic. It’s not a surprise, honestly, for a girl raised by purebloods and swathed in wealth. She enjoys and savours expensive clothing, fine wine and food, lavish trips to beautiful cities. There’s a certain image she projects after rejecting her real name and using ‘Burbage’ instead, with long sweaters, and cups of tea, and dog-eared pages in worn copies of Hamlet. But yeah, she still keeps a small fortune of galleons around before she self-exiled herself, and the apartment she bought is in a far more expensive area of Muggle London. But at the same time, she was willing to give up her comforts and material wealth and luxuries for the sake of her independence and bettering herself away from the influence of her family.

LILY EVANS

My Lily is, purposefully, not like Fanon!Lily, or at least I’m trying to consciously not make her like that; whether or not I achieve it is another story altogether. There’s a lot of pent up resentment, and she was very willing to break the rules that she often made others uphold. She wasn’t friends with the Marauders at all during most of Hogwarts, only starting to befriend them when she began dating James in her seventh year and absolutely abhorred the boy until she ended her friendship with Snape. She had her own group of girls she was very close with, including Mary Macdonald, her best friend, and had dated a few people before James, with one very serious relationship with a girl ending by Sixth year. She was very willing to seriously hurt Mulciber (and even kill him) when she heard what he did to Mary, and after Dumbledore said that Mulciber wouldn’t be expelled for his actions.

KATIE BELL

She REALLY likes girls, that’s all. Okay, but seriously her friendship with the girls around her - Angelina, Alicia, Leanne, Hermione - is so important to her, and important to me too. It’s as intrinsic to her character as Quidditch is, as the terrifying moment when she got cursed by the opal necklace. Although they are a part of her realisation that she’s attracted to girls, she really loves them a lot and would do anything for them.

DORCAS MEADOWES

She never wanted this life. Dorcas has been running away from this for so long, trying so hard to untangle herself from all of it, because this isn’t who she is, who she wants to be. She rejected magic, she rejected the Wizarding World, she rejected her place in the war. Being special, being different from everyone around her, fucking frightened her. She was content with the life she already had - being normal, as normal as a Jewish-Indian girl can be living in Wales with two dads. Her moral compass is the choke chain that holds her in place, that drove her to join the Order after much convincing from Alastor Moody, that had her agreeing to become a double agent within the Death Eaters’ ranks. There’s a lot of self-loathing and reluctance when it comes to her character and her involvement as a Double Agent.

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iheardarumorxxx · 4 years

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Midnight Sun, Chapter 6 - Blood Type

Did you guess that this chapter opened up with Weirdo stalking Bella? Because you guessed totally right.

Our ‘hero’ is going on about how he spends the entire day of school watching Bella through the surface thoughts of other people. See, it’s totally okay for Eddie to use people as his own personal Bella CCTV, because they are paltry and insiginificant hoomans. Who cares that it’s extremely creepy and invasive not just to Bella, but to the people who’s heads Eddie has decided to hijack. It’s not as if they matter anyway, right?

He shits on both Mike and Jessica again and I’ve already ranted at length about why neither of them deserve it, so I’m not gonna do it again. But I am gonna talk about Angela. I don’t like Angela. It’s not really her fault that I don’t like her. She’s soft spoken and sweet and kind, but the problem that I have with Angela is the same problem that I have with Esme. She exists to be a soft, fragile woman, hand-wringing and the only ‘good’ friend that Bella has. She doesn’t actually have a personality to speak of.

And now at lunch, Eddie is TRYING SO HARD to set up a red herring about why Bella is Looking Sad after glancing at the table he’s usually sat at. He goes on for like a whole ass paragraph wondering if she’s sad because she’s gonna miss the stupid dance that she’s made perfectly clear she doesn’t want to go to. He’s supposed to be an uber smart Pire with a brain so much bigger than mine, but the thing is? I can use fucking context clues to understand that Bella looked at the Cullen table, noticed that Eddie wasn’t there, and then looked sad because he wasn’t there.

See, Eddie. I don’t need your stupid mind-reading powers to figure shit out.

I'd never paid much attention to a human's diet before.

Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. YOU WERE A FUCKING HUMAN BEING LIKE A CENTURY AGO. Yes, I give you that diets and shit have changed since you needed to eat food, but the fact still stands that you absolutely had to eat food yourself at one time. AND YOU HAVE TWO MEDICAL DEGREES ON TOP OF THAT. If you were, like, in your fucking 500s or something, I might buy this bullshit (excluding the fact that you have two medical degrees). But you aren’t. You died in, like, 1901.

I motioned with my finger for her to join me.

Small point for SM and Midnight Sun here. In Twilight, when this scene happened, Bella said that he lifted his hand and twisted his wrist and like, crooked his finger in a gesturing motion and it was way too many words just to say ‘he motioned me over with his finger’ or ‘he beckoned me over’. At least this book didn’t pull that shit just to pad out the word count. This time.

"Why don't you sit with me today?"

A nitpick, if you will. The way that Eddie boy phrases this question makes it feel a lot more like a command. He isn’t asking if Bella wants to sit with him. He’s not really leaving that clear No option open for her with this phrasing. It feels extremely controlling and based on what we know about Eddie and his controlling tendencies as a boyfriend, I don’t like it.

Eddie and Bella are talking, all the while Eddie is going on about how he’s SO DANGEROUS and shouldn’t be friends with Bella and how part of him wishes she would just get up and leave because that would be safer for her.

Hey, Eddie. Why don’t you get up and leave, you pissant? Sure, he’s going on and on about how it’s hard to stay away from her and how he’s so IN LUV with her, but dude? If you genuinely think you’re dangerous and shouldn’t be around her DON’T BE AROUND HER. You can’t pull this stupid shit where you go on and on about how she shouldn’t wanna be your friend or be around you while also asking her to eat lunch with you and hanging around her and STALKING HER AND SNEAKING INTO HER BEDROOM AT NIGHT. You don’t get to have it both ways.

"What are you thinking?"

NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS DUDE! IF SHE WANTED TO FUCKING TELL YOU WHATS ON HER MIND, SHE WOULD! GOD FUCK OFF.

Right. Okay. I’m good. Caplocks off.

Ugh.

^^^ That is actually written in the book. And not as dialogue, either. It’s thought. It’s Edward’s thought and inner monologue. Wanna know why that sucks? There are a lot of reasons but the biggest one is this: SM goes out of her way to make it seem like Eddie is so old-fashioned and fancy. She makes him say some of the most ridiculous things in the interest of making it clear to us, the readers, that he is sophisticated. The Pire that is 109 and talks like a Walmart Brand Mr. Darcy just thought ‘ugh’.

I chided her

STOP with the creepy fucking paternal imagry. God, I am not a psychologist, and I would never presume to assume anything about anyone, but the way SM writes Edward and Bella’s relationship (and really all of the relationships in this series) reeks of Daddy Issues.

Mr. Banner was blood typing today.

This is absolutely fucking bonkers to me, and in the original Twilight, it was only an excuse for Bella to show of her FEAR of blood. Her ridiculous fear that was off the charts and over the top. They were just doing cell division, like, two days ago? And now they’re blood typing. And instead of theoritically doing so, they’re blood typing the actual students. Without written permission slips or warning anyone who might actually have issues with blood or needles in order to let them opt out. This isn’t how high school curriculam works, and it is absolutely not realistic. Even if it’s just a special one off thing, you can’t just stab kids with needles without parental consent.

but I wasn't hearing Debussy's notes for long

Bitch I fucking CALLED IT that he was listening to that Debussy song that first time he mentioned his favorite CD. Brownie points to me.

I wasn't going to stand around arguing with the wretch.

Leave Mike Newton ALONE, dude. And ‘the wretch’ is real rich coming from the guy who thought ‘Ugh’ a few paragraphs back.

Anyway, Bella got so sick and dizzy from one little drop of blood that she’s about to pass out on the sidewalk. It was stupid in Twilight and it’s stupid here. If Mike had lost an arm and was just pulsating blood? Sure, I’d buy the reaction, but a little tiny prick on the finger? And he sits like a couple of tables away from her? It’s an over the top reaction and if I was anyone in that class, I would think she’s doing it for attention.

Eddie just eats this shit up, though. Because its an excuse to fawn all over Bella and be a big strong man to rescue her.

The ‘I usually am’ in response to Bella saying Eddie was right about something made me see red for a minute. I fucking HATE this pompous, stuck up, douche canoe.

"People can't smell blood."

Good news, guys. I’m a vampire. I know this because I, too, can smell blood. I am now sparkley and Better Than You. So it is written.

But in all seriousness? Ed? You’re a fucking moron.

Anyway, Bella gets out of going to gym by ‘looking pale’ and Eddie comes to the conclusion that we have all figured out long before this that Bella thinks Eddie is attractive. Bella goes against Mike’s clear wishes not to invite Eddie to the beach with them, and invites him anyway, but because it’s La Push and, ya know, Werewoofs, Eddie can’t go to there. But instead of just saying he has plans or doesn’t like the beach or something, he just shits all over Mike some more and it makes me angry.

I was almost angry that she was leaving me.

Okay, I’m gonna level with you guys and share something personal. I had a really possessive boyfriend in college. Like, had to check in, let him know where I was and who I was with and all of that shit. He got mad at me if he didn’t hear from me for a while and was constantly accusing me of cheating on him and shit. That line right there? That like really freaks me out and gives me flashbacks to that terrible relationship. This is a red flag if I’ve ever seen one. Things like this are why people say that Edward Cullen is an abusive boyfriend.

And right after this line, he’s fucking dragging her to his car and insisting that he drive her home. It’s just creepy, guys. It’s all the warning signs that someone could ever need about someone, but it’s being treated as this loving relationship and it just makes me so uncomfortable.

There is something I wanna say in regards to Eddie. As a character, it’s okay for him to be kind of an asshole. There’s room for growth in that, there’s something for the character to strive to change. But his behavior is painted in this light that makes it seem like he’s wonderful and amazing, all rose colored love fantasy, and so he never changes and never learned to be a better person. And the shades of abuse are there, not even hidden in subtext but overt, and that is why I hate Edward so much. Not because he’s an asshole, but because I’m supposed to like him just the way he is, and not hope that he changes for the better.

The way that Bella talks about her mom makes me mad. That’s more of a rant for Twilight, but even just the things she says out loud are annoying. She talks about the woman like she’s incapable of taking care of herself, despite the fact that the woman raised her for 16 years. In Twilight it’s worse, because when she even bothers to think about Renee at all, she’s talking down about her.

They’re in front of Bella’s house having a dumb conversation about Eddie being DaNgErOuS again, and I want to puke with how heavy handed the ‘romance’ is supposed to be. Bella is like ‘i don’t care if you want to murder me and leave my corpse out in the woods’ and Ed is like ‘well... actually...’ and I hate that I’m supposed to think that they’re in love.

They’re having some more inane small talk. Literally this entire relationship is just small talk until they get to the sparkley meadow and make out a little, and then it’s ‘i would die for you and love you so much and you’re my everything’ like zero to sixty. I will admit that I fell for my partner really quickly, but we also talked about more than the fucking weather and our families. We had actual meaningful conversations and got to know one another.

This chapter ends with Eddie telling Bella to be careful at the beach (like any good father would) and laughing at her when she gets annoyed about it. The fact that he laughs at her expressing annoyance pisses me off. And he calls her an angry kitten again.

God, but I hate this asshole.

That’s chapter six, guys. Feel free to reach out in messages and DMs if you wanna chat, or if you have any recommendations for what my next book recap should be. Feel free to buy me a snack, my CashApp cash tag is in my bio. Until next time!

#sierra recaps stuff #midnight sun #midnight sun spoilers #ms chapter 6 #abuse tw

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sweetnestor · 6 years

Text

ylh extra #2 | scare

April 2017, aka the day this video dropped

FULL FANFIC HERE

Well, now I had an actual reason to panic. This time, it didn't come in the act of hysterical crying and shortness of breath. Instead, I stood there in my bathroom, paralyzed by the feeling of sinking sensations and several questions circling my head a million miles a second. My eyes didn't stray from the three white plastic sticks sitting on my counter. I was just having a staring contest with the two little lines that had appeared on each of them.

I heard my phone ding in my room, and it was the first thing that half pulled me back into reality. My body did the motions of going to find the source of the noise, but my mind was still cowering away in the bathroom. Spending two days in there, leaning over the toilet, suddenly made a lot more sense. How did I miss that? It was right there, waving at me with red flags and flare guns. How could I be so stupid?

The text on my phone pulled me into reality a little bit more.

“Did you see the video?? What did you think??”

Shit. Tour announcement. Perfect fucking timing.

I didn't want to lie, so I pulled open my laptop and signed onto YouTube. The first video I saw was titled, “You're Welcome.” I seriously wanted to punch the greater entity that made this whole thing happen.

It was a minute and thirty seconds of my heart sinking. We put so much work into this. This is what we spent weeks working on. Why did I feel like it was all over? This was my personal problem… At least until I told Ethan about it. Just the thought made me want to cry.

“Just watched!! Love it!!! I'm so proud of you!! ❤”

He replied quickly. “We're all celebrating at the office! You feel up for joining us?”

Right. In all of their eyes, I've come down with a stomach bug. Again, how did I not see what was really going on?

Okay, you were dumb and didn't see the obvious symptoms, I thought. What are you going to do now? I knew the answer to that, but I had to talk to Ethan. I had to tell him, he deserved to know.

I decided to go to the office. I wouldn't tell him then, I just had to make sure he was happy and proud of his hard work before I dropped the bomb.

Even when I got there, I couldn’t get the worried look off my face. I tried to fake a smile as I entered the room. Their spirits were so high that they all cheered when I opened the door. I jumped at the sudden noise, but I sighed and passed it over as best as I could.

Ethan was the first one to come over and hug me. His excitement was radiating all over, along with the rest of the team. I hated that I had to crush it later.

“We’re going on tour!” Mark exclaimed, followed by more whoops from Amy, Kathryn, and Tyler.

I smiled as Ethan let go of me. We went to sit on the couch. There was pizza and drinks, but I wasn’t hungry.

“How’s your stomach?” asked Kathryn. “You feeling any better?”

Found the source of my nausea, that’s for damn sure.

“Kind of, I’m not really up for eating,” I replied. “But I can work, so that’s a plus.”

I managed to get through the day without seeming too off. They all thought I was sick in some shape or form, so my heightened silence wasn’t that strange. Ethan hardly bat an eye at my subtle attempts to avoid him. I knew if I so much as looked at him during work hours, I would fall apart and spill the whole thing to not only him, but to everyone in the office, and nobody wanted that. I couldn’t let the others know.

When I got home, I was alone. Ethan was still working on a video, so he had told me to go on without him. The silence in my apartment dawned on me, and I started to feel sad that Jack wasn’t home yet. Things started getting busier within our lives, so we were seeing each other less often. He would know how to console me on this, but I found myself hesitating to call him, or to even go find him in his dorm on campus.

But this was my problem. It was mine and Ethan’s problem. Is that how I should refer to procreation? A problem? That said enough about how I felt about the situation, I hoped that he would feel the same.

The longer I waited in solitude, the more antsy I got. I was checking my phone every two minutes and trying to distract myself by washing my makeup brushes. My collection had grown over time, so it kept me occupied for a while. My body was on autopilot until I heard a knock on the front door.

I went to answer, feeling the blood rush out of my body. I felt like I was going to puke, and it wasn't from the morning sickness this time. Panic was rising in my throat the closer I got to the door, and it was written on my face when I was looking in the eyes of my boyfriend.

He was smiling upon first glance, but my negative energy quickly gave him a red flag. “What's wrong?”

“I need to talk to you,” I tried to say, but it came out in a breathless voice. My head was spinning.

Ethan stepped inside and closed the door behind him, a worried look on his face. “What's going on?”

Trying to control my breathing, I led him over to the dining table behind the couch. Once we were sitting, I couldn't say anything. It was stuck in my throat, along with a panic induced crying fit. Oh god, why couldn't I say it?

“Bella,” he urged. “What happened? What is it?”

“So I've been sick…” I managed to get out.

“Is that what it is? Is it something serious?” Ethan asked. He was nervous, as he should, but it wasn't helping my own nerves.

“Um…”

“Bella, oh my god, you're scaring me!” He paused and took a deep breath. Then he reached across the table and took my hand, squeezing it the way he normally would.

I returned the pressure, trying to calm down and organize my thoughts. I focused on the feeling of his hand in mine. I trusted him.

“I'm pregnant,” I finally told him.

“No,” Ethan said in disbelief. He sat back in his chair, letting go of my hand. “No, you can't be.”

“But I am,” I replied, feeling anxious by his gestures. “I found out this morning, I didn't wanna tell you at the office because you were in such a good mood, and everyone else was there. I didn't want to ruin the mood or anything. I didn't…” I paused, noticing that he wasn't listening.

Ethan placed his elbows on the glass surface of the table, his hands clasped together. He was wildly tapping his leg, and his eyes were glossed over.

“Babe,” I said, touching his arm. “I already know what I want to do. And I want you to come with me when I do it.”

He looked at me, then held his hand out again. I took it in both of mine, trying to comfort the both of us.

“What's gonna happen?” he finally asked.

I took a deep breath. “I'm gonna go to the doctor and see how far along I am. Then, depending on that, I'm gonna schedule an abortion.”

That took Ethan by surprise. He put his other arm down, furrowing his brows. “Really?”

A pang of fear went through my chest. “Y-Yeah… we can't afford to have a baby now, can we?”

“Right. Yeah. I just… you came to that decision very quickly,” he commented. “Not like in a bad way, or anything. I'm, I'm glad we're on the same page.”

“The faster I move to make a decision, the less time I have to panic and lose my mind,” I told him. “And…” I sighed, feeling the surge of emotions. “I've known about this thing since this morning… and I'm really, really trying not to lose my mind.”

Ethan moved his chair right next to mine and put his arm around me. “Hey, it's gonna be okay. We'll get through this. You made a plan, and I'm here to support you.”

“But we are on the same page, right?” I asked. “Neither of us want kids, right?”

“Right, I'm only twenty. And we're both super busy. If I can't get a dog, then I definitely can't have a baby. And the biggest difference is that I actually want a dog.”

I nodded, feeling reassured. “Okay. I'll see if I can go tomorrow, or the next day. I just want this overwith before the livestream.”

“Wait,” Ethan said. “Do we tell the other guys about this?”

“I don't want to,” I said. “I don't wanna talk about it until after I get the abortion.”

“How come?”

“I know they mean well, I know they have good hearts. But I don't wanna hear their input on what I should and shouldn't do with my body. I don't wanna hear any ‘are you sure’s unless it's from you. After I get it terminated, if the subject comes up, then we can talk about it.”

Ethan was silent for a moment. “Okay, I understand. But can I at least tell my dad about this?”

“Is he gonna force us to keep it?” I asked in return.

“What? No.”

Thankfully, I was able to nip it in the bud only 2 days later. Ethan and I both took the day off from work, telling Mark that I was still sick and needed to be taken care of. Neither of us liked lying to him, or to any of the team, but in this case, I felt like we had to. Usually, pregnancy is seen as good news, and I didn't want to have to go through the process of telling people I was going to terminate the thing.

We sat in the car in a tense silence. Due to my morning sickness (which doesn't happen only in the morning) and his time at the office, the last time we saw each other was when I told him the news. I could tell I made things difficult between us, I just wasn't sure if it was because I was pregnant, because I was getting an abortion, or because I asked him not to tell anyone.

“You're sure about this, right?” he asked after a while.

“Yes,” I replied, but his tone made me nervous. “Why?”

Ethan shrugged. “I know it's your body, and it's ultimately up to you… and I don't really want kids either, but…”

My eyes widened, and I felt myself go stiff. “But what?”

“I… wouldn’t mind… if I had kids with you.” When I didn’t say anything, he spoke some more. “Obviously, not now because we’re both super busy, and we’re still young, but… if this goes on into the future, and you ever wanted to have kids-”

“I don’t,” I said in a clipped tone. “I don’t think I could ever have kids. Especially not now, because you’ve got a tour to go on in a couple of months, and then again in the fall. And your channel is taking off, and you’re putting all of your time into that. And me… I’m still trying to get my life back. I’m trying to be okay with all the shit in my head, and everything I have to live with, and I know if I have a baby, I’m going to end up resenting it. A baby is going to make us pause our life - it doesn't matter if it's right now or later on in life - you can’t tell me you’d be okay with that.”

Silence dawned on us again after Ethan hummed. I didn’t know what that meant, but it ended the impending “let’s have kids later in life” conversation for now. Thank god too, because we arrived to the clinic.

The actual termination didn't take very long, but it was pretty painful. Afterwards, I had to sit in a recovery room with Ethan holding my hand until the nurses deemed I was well enough to go. He had to drive me home, and because of the mild sedation I was under, I had next to no problem with it. I was exhausted and grumpy, but I couldn't bring myself to fall asleep in the car.

I started cramping up when we got to my apartment. I was one of the lucky people who never had intense menstruation cramps every month, but that also meant that this kind of pain was something I wasn’t used to. I hunched over in my seat before I could open the car door, so Ethan had to come to my aid.

“Alright, come on,” he said, taking my hand and guiding me out of the vehicle. He helped me into my apartment, and the first wave of cramping passed. “Go lie down, I’ll make you some tea.”

What a nice boyfriend, despite that I snapped at him several times during the appointment. I didn’t deserve him… time for bed.

I would have changed my clothes, but I was so tired and out of it that I just lied down on top of the unmade sheets on my bed. I wanted to sleep, but I heard the front door open again, and it made me nervous. Earlier, I had told Jack that I wouldn't be able to pick him up from campus, but I didn't think he would come back so soon.

His voice sounded through the apartment, but I couldn't make out the conversation he was having with Ethan. I almost wanted to get up and see what they were talking about, but my mind and body felt like lead. I decided to drift off and worry later. It was probably better that way.

On the bright side, I wasn't pregnant anymore.

I didn't think sitting on a couch for twelve hours would make me tired, and yet Ethan and I returned to his apartment absolutely pooped. The livestream was a success, which was a relief since it was my first. I was still a little hesitant to see what people were saying online, though, but all I wanted in that moment was to lie down and sleep.

“That was harder than normal,” Ethan said as he placed his keys, wallet, and epipens on the kitchen counter.

“Why?” I asked.

“There were moments where I could have slipped what happened the other day,” he told me.

“Ah.”

I didn't like the awkward tension. It hadn't diffused or simmered down. The team unknowingly acted as a buffer for us through the entire stream, but now that we were alone, I was slowly being suffocated.

“Did your dad say anything about… that?” I asked, despite that I wanted to pretend like it never happened.

“Yeah, he thinks we did the right thing, and that it was a mature decision,” he replied.

Relief. “Nice.”

There was another awkward pause.

“Are we okay?” Ethan asked. “Or… are you okay?”

I hesitated, and then shrugged. “I'm just afraid of that happening again.”

“We'll be more careful,” he reassured as he stepped closer to me. “I know it was scary, but there's a lot of ways to prevent it.”

“How?” I asked. “I'm already on birth control and we use enough condoms as it is! I'm… I don't know.”

“Well, what else do you wanna do? Do you just wanna… not have sex?”

I stayed quiet. That was my first idea, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. Ethan was very… active. Not that I didn't like it, but now that we experienced one consequence of having a nearly overly active sex life, I found myself wanting to withdraw. But, like I said, he was a pretty sexual being.

“Bella?”

“I can't have sex with you again,” I admitted in a soft voice. I couldn't look at him.

He was looking at me, but I didn't want to see his expression. I internally braced myself for any kind of backlash. I would be lying if I said I hadn't started plotting an escape route just in case he took it the wrong way. I'd probably crash at Amy and Kathryn’s if I needed to.

“Okay,” Ethan replied after some silence.

“Really?” I was confused.

“Yeah. It's okay, I understand.”

For some reason, that didn't process in my mind. I just stood there, looking very dumbfounded. Surely there had to be a catch. It couldn't be just “okay.” There had to be something underneath that.

“Like, nothing at all?” I asked. “No getting naked, no inappropriate touching?”

He nodded like it was obvious. “Yeah. I know what no sex is.”

“Sorry, I just didn't think it would be that easy. This… this isn't the first time I've had a pregnancy scare. The last guy wasn't as nice about it.”

Ethan's face morphed into concern. “What do you mean? Who was this guy?” He sat on the stool, waiting for an answer.

I sighed. “This guy I moved in with after I graduated high school. I thought I was pregnant, and he said he would he supportive. But I wasn't, and I told him what I told you: can't have sex for a while. He got mad. And defensive.”

“Did he hurt you?”

“No. I got scared, so I took back what I said.”

“That's still fucked up.”

I shrugged. “Is it, though? I mean, it's not bad to want sex. He thought, that I thought he was unattractive, or that I didn't want him. Even in my last relationship, we didn’t have sex at all and I know it bothered him. And… I don't want you to think like that, or think that I don't want you like that.”

“Don't worry about me,” he told me as he held my hand. “I know why you don't wanna have sex again. Trust me, I understand, and it's okay. I don't want to have a situation like this again either. If this is what’ll keep us sane… it's okay. I won't get mad at you for that.”

It was weird to hear that. I guess that said a lot about me. I squeezed his hand in gratitude. “Thank you.”

He kissed my hand. “Of course. I care about you a lot. I want you, and us, to be okay.”

#crankgameplays x oc #ethan nestor x reader #ylh extra #sweetheart writes #so im gonna post another thing tomorrow probably #another one shot #AND THEN the New Series will start #i just had to post this now ya feel #also i was planning on writing a thing abt bellas first livestream with the team #i havent started it yet but if yall wanted that id be happy to write it

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