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goddamnosamu · 2 years

Text

[12:49am]

Writing songs is not easy

Pairing: idol!asahi x reader

Words: 1.9k+

a/n: i suggest reading this fic with any sad song you know for extra emotional damage. THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE so i hope you enjoy this fic that destroyed me. This is the official opening?? or start of my page and i decided with sharing angst YEY! stay tuned for more fics and i will create my carrd asap so you would know more about what im about to do with my acc here in tumblr so enjoy this fic for now! feedback would be very much appreciated :DD

Writing was hard — something asahi was very familiar with. The constant wracking of his brain to write lyrics that people would love. Working at ungodly hours to write 3 lines of lyrics that were all over the place which, most of the time, ended up with multiple pieces of crumpled paper, or even ended up sleeping on his desk with multiple scribbles on different sheets of paper. Despite the numerous love songs under his belt as a producer, asahi never really understood the concept of love. He felt like he was missing a specific emotion or feeling to add more essence to the songs.

Until he met you.

With you, writing came so much easier. It was easier to put his feelings into his writings — expressing the love he wished to express towards you. You knew this, of course. The subtle eye contact, soft whines of protest, and the delicate touches he leaves on your skin. You knew he was trying on his own ways, and you absolutely adored his ways of showing love to you.

But it was never easy.

It may seem like a walk in the park for others, or even romanticizing these subtle acts of expressing love. But loving another person was never easy, especially if expressing it was not their forte. He always wished to meet someone where he may be able to express himself without having to worry about his frustrating hesitance toward love. Though he may be infatuated with different people from his whole lifetime, or even have friends that he knows would stick by him, he never really tried to meet his person because of the fear that they might grow tired of his antics. He just convinced himself, basically. Platonic may be the only thing that he could have, and he’d have to rely on cheesy romance films or anime for him to know how a relationship happens.

“You think a relationship is hard?” he got asked by one of the members when they were trying to write lyrics for their upcoming album. He didn’t have an answer back then. Every bit of knowledge he had with relationships came from films, never really having the experience because of the hectic idol life he has now. He was contented, to an extent. But he remembered how much he smiles whenever he’s with you. How he finally experienced what it's like for his day to seemingly be better just by thinking about you. How he blushes when a member brings you up. How he unconsciously brings you to whatever conversation he was having; always wanting to connect his story about you. How he really tried his best to keep the relationship despite all the shame, hate, doubt, and every negative feeling there is.

He could never forget how hard he tried to get you to be his in the first place. A simple flower with a note: I wish to see you smile like that every day because you shine the brightest in my eyes. I hope you will allow me to be with you more, just like the orange sun. Having to find the right timing with you, to make sure you were comfortable and in a great mood. Constantly thinking about what happens then if you said yes, then worrying too much if ever you said no.

He felt like the happiest man alive when you said yes. Though he doesn’t really know what’s the next step in a relationship, he chooses to revel in the feeling of love? no, that’s not it. He doesn’t really know if it was the love he was feeling. But he didn’t mind it. He’s got you, he thinks. He’ll soon figure out his feelings for you eventually, he hopes. So, there were days that were long, days where he wanted to stay in it forever, and days that will hold a special place in his heart.

He remembers the way you hold his figure whenever he gets stressed about his work. The sweet nothings he hears while he lays his head on your figure as if melting in your embrace. It was the most comforting thing. Being with you erases the negative thoughts he has throughout the day. He hides his emotions, as he usually does. He doesn’t really know what to do with it, and he sometimes wished someone would instantly know how he was feeling whenever it started to get tough. But you always seemed to know his emotions. You were reading him like an open book, yet other people struggle with the simplest emotions he feels. Even his members sometimes didn’t understand his emotions. You were always there when you needed him.

He was the happiest. He always had the motivation to write songs because he finally found his inspiration. He finally found someone he could confine himself to without worrying about forcing himself. He knows you were there, you always were, in whatever situation there was.

But, he wasn’t there for you.

He didn’t know what to do on your off-days. He didn’t know what makes you happy. You’re holding him, but he isn’t holding you – That was the hardest part of your relationship. He was content with your treatment, but he doesn’t reciprocate it back to you. Yet, you kept quiet. Despite all the constant neglect, late-night calls that leave you unsatisfied, tears in the other room while he’s busy being happy. Even the I love you’s that holds the deepest meaning in your relationship felt empty. Even the way he says it was empty. It honestly felt like a slap in the face, when you realize your relationship is different now.

He couldn't understand it at first, the sudden change in your relationship. He was doing fine, you’re doing fine, he thinks. He might just be overthinking things again, just like what he used to do before he got into a relationship with you. You were always there for him whenever he had his off-days. Ever since he saw you with a frown on your face every time you were there to comfort him against his own demons, he swore to himself that he’d try a bit harder to remove those thoughts so you wouldn’t have to worry again. Plus, it’s a way for him to see you with a smile on your face, just like how he wanted to see you.

But one thing led to another, and you both were at your tipping point with each other. The moment you walked out of his life was the moment he never wanted to relive ever again. The eerily silence in the room when you asked him for a talk. The monotonous voice that held much more weight every time he remembered your words to him. He notices the slight tremble in your voice as the words you were releasing start to frustrate you. The amount of emotion in your voice when you told him you were tired snapped him back to reality. He didn’t know what to say. What else could he tell you that could at least help calm you down? The only indicator he had of time was the sun setting on the window of his studio.

“What am I in your life, asahi?” you asked, with so much exhaustion and desperation in your voice. You wanted to know what you were in his life.

“You’re my girlfriend, obviously!” he said with frustration that almost seemed like he wanted to get away from the situation and just wanted to lie in your arms — forgetting the whole thing ever happened.

“Well, it doesn’t seem like it anymore.” You exclaimed. You were tired of all of it. As you were still telling him about all the frustrations in the relationship. Asahi was constantly telling himself that everything was going to be okay. He wanted to tell you that, but he felt like he was convincing himself more than you that the relationship was okay, even if it was in its final steps.

You couldn’t even look at him anymore, at that point. Too tired about the whole ordeal, you broke it off. As much as he hated the whole situation and himself, he couldn’t help but stare at the setting shining sun that always reminded him of you. He knew he tried, but he wished he could’ve tried harder for you.

The wave of emotion hit him, finally coming back to his senses and realizing that you were actually gone. He couldn’t even stare at his desk because it was full of trinkets that came from you. A drawing of you was also on his wall, almost taunting him about the way he handled the relationship. A picture frame then came into view — it was a photo booth print you both went to on his birthday. Both of you were smiling so wide for the camera as if nothing was wrong with the relationship. He smiled a bit, remembering how thankful he was that you went out of your schedule just to be with him the entire day.

A snap from his member brought him back to reality. Repeating the question to him again, and waiting for his answer. “No one writes songs about the ones that come easy.” Asahi said, a bit of falter in his tone as if on the verge of breaking down the more he thinks about it. He doesn’t know how long he was keeping it together until he heard a soft click of the door and his member not in the room with him – assuming he left to leave him alone with his thoughts. To help relieve the pain for a bit, asahi went back to writing music but without the lyrics. He felt like he just needed to get lost in his own little world without any thoughts bothering him.

He doesn’t really know what time it is, but he assumes that he stayed up again in the studio for another time. But he did get a good beat out of it. Immediately opening his phone and quickly going to your contact to tell you about his beat, he instantly had a frown on his face.

09:27 pm will you come home for the night?

10:56 pm asahi?

12:17 am well, good luck in the studio for today!!

12:18 am i love you!!! <3 <3 <3 seen

It was the last text he got from you before you broke up with him. He hadn’t realized that he left you on read that time, he couldn’t even remember what he was doing that day for him to forget to reply to you. And just like that, he realized that when was the last time he replied instantly just like you did for him? When was the last time that he did something great for you? When was the last time that he even had to comfort you, despite him hearing you complain about your workspace and difficulties in life? Every single insecurity and guilt came crashing back down to him, the guilt eating him up that he felt like he couldn’t even breathe properly. He knew what to do – at least he convinced himself he knew what to do in a relationship. He just didn’t know how to express it. His harsh breathing racked his body while he tried to calm his mind from the frustration, trying to stop his thoughts from consuming his already tired night at the studio.. He’s done it multiple times ever since you left. But just for tonight, he allows himself to fully come to terms with his feelings and it was evident from the way he sobbed that night, scribbles of words and phrases he wished to tell you all forgotten.

Writing was easy for him, yes. But writing about love will never be the same because he knows what love is now – it was everything he never was.

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h4chi · 2 years

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— # DARARI

request asahi fic where he catches you singing "u" or "darari" and is like lolzzz caught u, u freakin teume!!!! 😹😹 tyty mwah mwah!!! <333

SUMMARY so la mi fa sol what’s the melody coming from your room ?

GENRE established relationship

WARNINGS one pet name, not proofread, grammar mistakes.

PAIRING idol asahi x gn reader

WORD COUNT 289

TREASURE MASTERLIST !

it was late when asahi came back home from practice.

usually, he would head to his dorm, but because of his packed schedules, the both of you didn’t have much time to hang out or spend together, so he decided last minute to pass by your place, and maybe spend the night.

the familiar perfume he missed welcomed him once again in your safe place, and he found himself relaxing under the warmth of your sweet voice singing from somewhere far in the house.

he was contemplating whether to surprise you or just say: “i’m home!” when his ears perched at the familiar sound.

“darararararari~”

asahi’s musical life was a topic you never really talked about, and that you actually preferred not to. yes, you admired him for his dedication and skills, but to you, he was just asahi. your handsome, funny, dorky boyfriend you’ve been friends since childhood, and supported throughout his decision of becoming an idol.

so it caught him off guard when he found out you listened to his songs.

he guessed you got out of the shower as the water stopped running, and the music coming from your speaker was the only left sound in the apartment.

he decided to cook something, waiting for you to notice his presence, that you eventually did as the smell of gimbap reached your nostrils.

“sahi?”

he met your eyes right after placing down the plates on the table.

“hi, love.”

you sat down, asahi in front of you.

“what are you doing here?”

“i thought i could pass by.”

“i’m glad you did.”

it was silence for a while as you ate peacefully, the food tasting amazing.

“so i heard you like treasure?”

“you’re the only one treasure.”

tags: @enhacolor @acaiasahi

#asahi #hamada asahi #asahi x reader #asahi x fem reader #asahi x gn reader #asahi x male reader #asahi x y/n #asahi x you #asahi imagines #asahi scenarios #treasure imagines #treasure x yn #treasure x you #treasure x reader #treasure #yg treasure #yg imagines

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