#half of my crying was me being sad
Text
all i did last night was get emotional, cry, and draw
#half of my crying was me being sad#half of it was me wanting ppl to be happy#mixed bag#ramblerambleramble
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have so much brainrot about Medic's wife, specifically the design from the comic doodles that Makani drew, I'm so ready to draw a whole comic about her, man I love hallucinating.
#60 seconds till mission begins rambles#But also I have so many things to do I could cry#I don't like engaging in fights about which ships are valid in the eyes of canon etc#I've seen many people try to ignore medic's wife's potential existence because it would invalidate the possibility of him being gay#insisting the doodles were drawn before Makani joined Valve; and Demo's domination line just being gibberish etc etc#That's sad to me because I think she's a REALLY cool character and I cry about her never ever coming to the official material#So listen to me; headcanon; what about#He's bisexual (and discovers he has a preference for men)#boom#we win🏳🌈#also the doodles where his wife appears are the same doodles where he's smooching heavy so why are you only reading half of the scriptures?#I'm just foaming at the mouth about the idea of Medic having a female best friend who he married and who understands him in a different way#I just like the idea of both of them being opportunistic and marrying for the societal benefits a marriage gave you back in the days#and like being the only other person to have enough blackmail material on the other#Ok no I cant talk more about this I'll give away the entire story I have in my head
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Even if the sky cracks in mourning / And the heavens just won't open up for me"
A Series of Small Offerings - II/12 - day20
#a series of small offerings#sleep token fanart#elaboration on this piece further down in the tags because this one may confuse people i think#(also please note that i firmly believe that the from the room below version of this song is the superior one)#(so the art was made with that version in mind because that is the version that lives rent free in my brain for reasons)#i've been thinking so much how to approach this one.. i knew pretty much since i've made the challenge that i will go with this line#specifically because i refuse to hear it as the lyrics sites and spotify tells me to hear it (as it appears in the post) but instead#i don't hear the 'the' in any version of the song i'm sorry that is just not there#so i'm convinced it is 'as the sky cracks in mourning'#(sky cracking-lightning;sky mourning-rain)#which is also exactly how the song feels to me#being a sad wet cat of a person standing bare feet in a strom and just crying 'why i was i so blind to my own hubris'#specifically in relation of finally (and far too late) understanding you fucked up a relationship so bad it still hurts years after#if you've ever felt anything remotely similar you know what i'm talking about#and you get why i refuse it being 'in the morning' instead of 'in mourning'#vessel i#vessel#vessel sleep token#vessel fanart#sleep token band#sleeptoken#levynn tries to draw#sleep token#edit: i don't mean to offend those who stand behind the line being 'in the morning' btw i just don't hear it#and i don't think i'm correct. i'm correct for me. not in your stead. half the lyrics can be heard at least two ways#edit2: appearently i'm actually right about something for a change.. a truly unusual turn of events#see comments for referrence pls#also edited this post to the correct lyrics#but leaving the tags for context 'cause thw original version of the post has been rb-d before editing i think
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#sorry im thinking abt death again#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length#unrelated
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
i wish i could play viddya games more but i have the world's worst eyestrain problems for literally no reason
#chernikocore#cant play minecraft for more than half n hour.... cant play a single game of pjsk without being in unbearable pain.....#had to delete my beloved overwatch because i could not sit through a single match without my eyes watering so much i was basically crying#and why!!!! i can watch videos of ppl playing perfectly fine but the second i wanna play???? nope! eye death#eye drops dont do anything... sad sad world#can someone diagnose me pls
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
Franky saving nami and her calling him big brother..... the connotations of this... big day for me especifically
#yamato shogun actually fits the oden theme akshakaj.... but momo.is the rightful heir and all that......#yamato just carrying luffy again ahsakanak#YAMATOS CHAINS MAKING AN EXPLOSION TO ENTER THE ARENA AJDHAHAAHSJ YEAAAHH!!! YOU TAKE CARE OF KAIDO!!!!#they are waiting for the samurais.... hell yes.... DAMN KINEMON!!!#THEY GOT HIM!!!!! kaido is so fucked up he is seeing oden and all.... wooow.....#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 995#BANGER MUSIC FROM THE JUMP!!! HELL HEAH#the oden isnt oden without being boiled theme its there too omg#nami and zeus akdjaksja together again......#kinemon reciting prophecy while they stab kaido...... banger#kinemon trusting luffy to bring the sunrise to wano and to be the king of the pirates.... hell yes#episode 996#what is law doing... searching for the poneglyph???#episode 997#<- not many thots#i feel like we've been trhu so much with the pink haired samurai.... if he dies i am crying#yamato is such a character.... strong and violent and hates his father and he LITERALLY IS kozuki oden... DO NOT GET IT TWISTED#SHINOBU!!!!! AND EVERYONE JUST STARING!!! DO SOMETHING!!!#OHHH MOMO IS FREE!!! TUNR UNTO A DRAGON!!!#oh his fear of heights.... WHATS THAT as queen said lmaoo#sanji??? protecting momo??? about time he arrived also#and sanji died cut in half.... so sad.....#'its only natural... he is my son' YAMATO ABOUT MOMO AJSKAHSKAJQKAJWKS#one ikoku for luffy killed 1898 samurais... goodbye brave soldiers ajdjsksb was that worth it luffy... the dodge...#nami saying she has never lied in her life ajdhsksjsk#FRANKY!!!!!!!!!! and he is singing and everything.... RUN OVER BIG MOM HELL YEAHHH NAMI CALLING FRANKY BIG BROTHER YEAAAAHHHHH YEAAAAAAHHHHH#you guys dont know what this means to me. i could cry. i am cheering and hollering. i am ripping my shirt off and swinging it.#episode 998
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
i would like to start a petition for a first person shooter game where u are a woman and u get a sexy sad malewife to follow u around and clap for you and give u a thumbs up as you slay
#my post#i'm tired of being a MAN#and video games trying to get me to fall in love with manic pixie dream girls / not like other girls side characters#i'm sorry elizabeth from bioshock infinite. i do not love u#i'm sorry alyx half-life u annoy me#portal u are the only game that gets me#wheatley is my malewife until he turns on me. and he's not sexy or sad. more condescending#but he's the closest we've gotten as a society#where my gamer girls at#unite!!!!#malewife malewife malewife#i would also request that as a main character i am complex and more than just a Mean Woman/Girl Boss#i would like to be multifaceted thank u#also i want the malewife to cry at some point#and lastly i'd like it to work on my laptop bc that's how i play video games#gamer girls#half-life 2#half-life#portal#portal 2#hl2#hl#valve#bioshock#bioshock infinite#elizabeth bioshock#alyx vance#chell#gordan freeman#wheatley
75 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking agian about how shanks wanted to see roger cry and that he tells luffy he should cry but that shanks himself takes after roger in that regard and won't cry in front of people !!!
#was about to go to bed but saw the emotions thing and started spiraling into my shanks thoughts#the boyish want of needing to see your dad figure/mentor/hero/favorite person show those emotions#because shanks was such a cry baby as a kid but thinking about how he didn't see roger cry and started internalizing it !!!#and wanting to see roger cry because he cried when he was sad or frustrated or angry or ANYTHING AT ALL#but then he grew up and learned the weight that's carried as a captain and#...probably understood roger a lot better#because you want to be seen as put together of course but you also don't want to worry your crew#they look to him for comfort so he doesn't feel like he CAN boohoo all the time (unless he's being totally silly)#even though his crew would be totally fine with him crying and would simply love on him !!!#but him still wanting luffy to cry#wanting him to know that it's okay to cry !!!#YELLLLLS#he wants luffy to be so much better than he is in literally every way#like his crying is definitely a private thing when it happens#beck probably being the only one#maybe yasopp and roux too since those are all his fellas <3#i'm fine#once again i am saying roger really did a number on him lmao#(intentionally or not sorry roger)#<3#now i'm going to bed fr#OOC.#honestly this half belongs in the hc tag even if it's a mess of me rambling sorry#HEADCANON.
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I still find it kinda wild that after 1 psych eval they immediently put me on antipsychotics
#i mean it was in the right direction but not the right answer#we good now tho we on the two in one epilepsy mood stabalizers ayye#i will say tho i got put on keppra for my seizures and i cant imagine being on that long term#if i stayed on it any longer than i did i prolly woulda been in the er simply cause i couldnt eat and was near passing out at every moment#but if i didnt have that i woulda been in jail#i was so fucking mad and angry all the time i thankfully was able to keep it in but oh my god#never in my life had i wanted to throw chairs at people SO bad#my mom would ask if i had found a pair of socks and it took all that was in me to not scream and throw my socks across the room#and then i got so so sad oh my god#cause i ended up taking two tweeks off work to get off it and get on a new one and i went up to see my dad#so i was on the train sobbbing my eyes out for no reason#or like a day or two after i got there we drove up into maryland to go to costco it was prolly hour 30 hour 45#and my dad turned to look at me and my brain decided he did it wrong#i sobbed the entire way home and we had to stop at harbor freight and i cried even more#and he felt so bad and was like we can get dinner u want pizza we'll get pizza if u want and we almost couldnt find the dominos#and it almost made me worse i cried for like a solid 2 hrs and half of it was cause i was so upset abd angry that i was crying#when i didnt want to which made me cry more#god keppra is fucking evil#if it helps you of course ya got the good part but damn id never felt like that on any other med
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
that one tumblr post os so righr. why are my parents so old and stupud
#lonely dog speaks#i cant stop being mad at shit ARGGHHHHHH#everyohing my dad does that annoys me slightly makes me want to break glass over his head#which is a constant feeling :•|#just lookingat his air fryer on the counter made me cry#he complaining ever since he gor here about how much junk we have laying around#meanwhile he brougt his air fryer that takes up half the counter. IT'S NOT 'OUR STUFF' IT'S YOUR STUFF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥💥#GARGLE MY DICK AND BALLS. dam#and being around him more reminds me of all the things he does that make me so.... disappointed...????#which is sad. cuz he tells me every chance he can get that he's changing himself for the better#😐#VENT
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
love (unintentionally) views sex as transactional but the only thing they get out of it is (perceived) validation for making their partners feel good lol
#usfw /#︵ ♡ 𝗠𝗨𝗦 ﹕ headcanons ꒱ .ᐟ#i say perceived bc it's like. very shallow. like bby ur self worth should nawt be measured by how good u are in bed#sadly what love learned from being in the entertainment industry for so long is that sex is the fastest way to get someone to like u#yet it's usually very surface level. they've had a lot of fwb type situations bc they're lonely n like#'give them the best sex of their life n they'll want to be around me more'#ofc this is a sex positive household!! but love's approach is very unhealthy and that needs to be acknowledged as well#most of her self esteem relies on her own objectification#random hc i have is that the number of times love's made someone else finish vs the number of times they have is... very imbalanced#bc they dont really care about their own pleasure they get that from tallying up the other person's organism lmaooo#i also half joke that love's one flaw is that he'd cry after sex but it's also partly true IF#he has an emotional connection with the other person first. and comes to the realization that it's about that connection n unity#and suddenly it's different than all the other experience love has had. it'd be overwhelming#and may take a bit for them to get comfortable tbh#idk why i started rambling about this LOL it's just been in my head for the past couple of days#love makes me sad. she's surrounded by love and yet feels like there's a huge part missing#bc sure fans love her. her family loves her. but she DOES want romantic connection as well#and i think that's valid and okay#will i let it happen tho? probably not ehehe
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
wallowing in self pity as an after work activity.
#I also watched tv and almost fell asleep#I woke up with a bad stomachache last night which kept me awake for a little over an hour before it got better#so I didn’t sleep enough and went to work#and then received a text that my boyfriend wouldn’t be home tonight cause he’s meeting from friends#and of course I’m not invited because one of his friends is my ex I keep shit taking about (rightfully I might add)#saw him for like one minute after his work before he left again#I’m really fucking sad rn still because as I told some friends#one of my Guinea pigs died just yesterday#and I’m tired and#I’m hungry#and yes my boyfriend offered to bring me food but I don’t even know when he will be back and he’s probably going to bring cake which isn’t#real dinner food anyway#my stuff#give it half an hour and I’ll be better I hope#maybe she least good enough to make myself something to eat#at least my cat his here he always comes when I’m crying#edit: I think the part about tonight that hurts the most is being invited but not being invited#one of the boys sent a message to the group chat if anyone wanted to join#and idk if all of them know#but my bf knows I won’t go anywhere near my ex#even though I haven’t seen one of the other friends there in a awhile and wouldn’t loved to see him#so it’s like#being invited#but not really#cause I can’t go there#I’d feel sick#I already do feel sick knowing he talks to this despicable piece of shit
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
barely caught the last few minutes of tommys stream, but it doesnt matter bcus i still cried my eyes out :,) i love you dsmp and most of all i love you dsmp fandom <3
#my post#i have so many great memories thanks to this server andve made so many friends#fr though from when mello gave me their lore playlist and i swore to be a ctubbo apologist right off the bat#to losing it over exile#discovering sad-ist and realizing that i want to work in animation#binge-reading passerine in one go hours before my senior prom and laying on the floor trying to process it all#making batshit theories about cranboo#being certain i was gonna miss tftsmp every single time but every time they were late#cosplaying cwilbur at a con and meeting so many other dsmp enjoyers :D#reading mangoball as it was still being updated#r/place (o7 placebur i sacrificed my sanity for the left eye)#torturing my siblings by giving EXTREMELY detailed lore explanations while we were driving and they couldnt escape <3#reading no cause for concern!! finding artists that i adore and friends that i love!!! ./hug and HOLD HANDS CHAT!!!!#building the camarvan in my irls mc realm and placing lmanberg flags everywhere!!#ive drawn ctommy so much he made up half of my portfolio for college applications!#i love these characters i love this story i love this fandom i could go on for hours an dhours picking out little things i love and#favorite moments and memories!!#im not going anywhere- gonna be here drawing and crying about ctommy for the rest of my days probably#i just needed to lovepost about this weird and finally dead server <3
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm glad he got to see his channel hit 10mil. I'm glad he got to see everyone pull together for that last push. I'm glad he got to realize his childhood dream. I wish he got to enjoy it longer.
#true story#I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I want him to be okay and he's not and never will be again and I hate it#death mention#I'm glad he got to meet Phil.#I hope. I hope they're all okay.#I hope they take time to themselves#god. not to bring myself comfort by crossing fandoms but do you know a man is not dead while his name is still spoken. gnu technoblade.#I was apologizing to my dad for crying cause I woke him up and felt so stupid for being upset#and my dad said 'you just lost a friend' and. yea. it's dumb. but god. he made and makes me happy when I'm sad#and he got me through one of the most shit years of my life#and made it. so it wasnt the worst.#in fact this past year and a half has been one of the better ones so far.#god. he was. he was two years older than me.#he made me feel like I could be happy
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
my mother needs to play ace attorney i need her to play it
#she literally told me that friends dont exist and that i shouldnt bother getting anymore#bc past friends have only hurt the family and myself (not true)#and then asked why i was crying later on like LADY????#LADY I HAVE PLAYED 8 AND A HALF GAMES CENTRED AROUND WHY YOURE WRONG#THE MOST IMPORTANT THING U GOTTA REMEMBER IS TO TRUST YOUR CLIENT NO MATTER WHAT TO THE BITTER END#OMFG PLEASE YOU CANT JUST GO OUT AND KILL MY SOCIAL LIFE LIKE THAT#i used to have the mentality of 'trust no-one' and im trying REALLY hard to heal myself of that bc its wrong and trying to open myself up#to ppl and actually thrive in a group but noooo u just hafta kill the drift huh...#ughhhh i feel sick#she also said that the only friend i could have was god. like. as if he doesnt want me dead for being trans#anyways time to sit her down and make her play dgs or something. i need to prove shes wrong#this is sort of a vent idk i need to yell into the void bc i am. very sad#im SO SAD MR NARUHODO. SO VERY UPSET AND RATHER DISHEVELED. I DID NOT GET A GOOD SLEEP LAST NIGHT#shutuplance🧡#im sorry goodbye
8 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
paralegalcertificate-blog1
Paralegal Information
gracrps
承
link-lozhh
In Love with botw Link
stopaskingformykik
I Don't Have One
sheepstitch7
lottozaabet.net เว็บตรงไม่ผ่านเอ