"I'm surprised the Black Mesa Transit System is even running on Frasier Crane Day!"

I made a lmk oc

it is my birthday today!!!

spray paint stuff

Looks like some shitty ship discussions have surfaced in hl fandom again, but I don't mean that here actually xd

I'd like to hear a little bit (or a lot) more about your fav kind of freehoun if you don't mind sharing! Maybe some pre & post rescas headcanons, idk any stuff you would like to tell, and if you want. No pressure

i'm actually really glad i got an ask like this, i have seen some shipping discourse bubbling back up and it's just. can we not? enjoy what you enjoy, at the end of the day none of this is canon unless valve says otherwise, no need for the infighting. anyway, prepare for a text wall with barely any grammar.

pre-rescas: -i like to think that gordon and barney met very soon after gordon was hired and they got along like a match to a flame (is that the saying?), like barney came along on gordon's first tour of the facility and maybe even got lunch with him. -since the majority of workers at black mesa are most likely 30+, barney was especially drawn to gordon (not only because he was kinda cute) since there was finally another young and seemingly down to earth guy around. -honestly my favourite trope is having barney pine after gordon and try to suppress his major crush on him. -it's kinda sad to say or really acknowledge, but back in the 2000's and early 90's, obv lgbtq+ matters were not as accepted, i mean being called 'gay' was like the worst insult imaginable at the time. because of this, i do think barney would be a little wary of his own gay thoughts, maybe even dislike himself a little because of it. eventually i'm sure he'd grow to accept that he is, in fact, gay. -when it comes to the two hooking up, i really, really like the idea of their relationship being kept hush hush. it's pretty hot ngl and i think it would be the most plausible for their situation. -personally i don't really think barney nor gordon would call eachother pet names, or really say 'i love you' without hesistance. i feel like they'd show their affection in different ways, for gordon he'd show his love through gift giving i think. like the occassional snack for a tired barney on the night shift, or a box of donuts if he's feeling generous. -gordon always makes up excuses for why barney has to visit his dorm room so often. one day it's a faulty tap in the bathroom, or the next a clogged airvent. people seem to believe him because his voice is so monotone.

post-rescase/hl2: -during the years where gordon is abscent, barney, for the most part, holds out on hope that he will come back. over time, as barney gets older and older and nothing seems to be changing but only getting worse, he grows more cynical. i think that maybe 5 or so years before gordon's return, barney had forced himself to settle on the idea that he was not coming back. -after taking gordon into his office, he doesn't outright hug him or ball his eyes out, but it's so so obvious that he's feeling a bunch of old bottled up emotions when gordon looks into his eyes. gordon probably does give him a hug though. -however on gordon's end, i feel like things at the start would be a little awkward. his feelings are as strong as they were back then, as it hasn't been 2 decades for him. -i like to think that around the time when gordon arrived at kleiner's lab, that's when gordon approaches barney about their past and they maybe rekindle things, just a little. like maybe a longing look or kiss on the cheek. -honestly there's not really much i can say about hl2 as barney's appearances are so brief. basically i just think that they'd use every moment they had whilst the other was around to get a little closer again, even if they're not outright smoochin' it up or anything. -HOWEVER, in my happy little half-life, barney arrives at white forest with a group of rebels and he spends a few days in bed all patched up and gordon frequently visits his room and maybe even sleeps there with him, it had been quite a while since they'd met up again, gordon honestly thought barney had been blown tf up after the citadel's explosion. -they basically just hang out A LOT in white forest and eventually one of them works up the courage to start their relationship up again. -i think the idea of them once again sneaking away from crowded areas of the WF base so they can have a little privacy together is pretty cute, like they did in black mesa. -and if we're gonna enter hl3 territory, i think gordon, eli and barney would all set out into the arctic to do combine project borealis mossman stuff, and then save alyx :) amazing writing.

i probably have a lot more ideas floating around in my head but i think this is more than enough lol thanks for the ask, this was fun to put together!

Ok so here’s my list of videogames I’m going through rn:

Half-Life series

Batman Arkham

And now Zelda

All of which I know jack shit about the stories or spoilers. I’ve started Batman Arkham Asylum and I’m in the middle of Half Life 2 Episode 1. So far I’m having a blast

50$ to print 10 of the same skin has always been so insane to me. you're telling me it's 50$ to print....only 10.....of a single skin....and that's normal. And not only is that normal, that's what's required for a skin shop. where ppl may not even sign up for 10 runs. and then you're left in the shitter with at minimum 1-4 skins nobody wanted (not to mention if some people decide not to pay afterward) that you have to just pray someone finds & buys on the auction house. And it's 50$. Uhuh. And then that's just the artist's issue and fault and we're gonna blame them instead of the fact that a 10 print run costs as much as groceries.

bad astrology by flower face

chapter 15 of CAYA is finally finished. unfortunately i will not be posting anything until i finish chapter 17 <3

"Quite so..."

Gman be like at the ending of opposing force

happy november 5th everybody it has officially been ten years since i started having periodic testosterone shots so. yeah. lovely for me.

The day has come

25 years to 'half-life', and the other half of my life that I didn't know about. Gordon Freeman, the one thanks to him I stand and do not fall. Standing confidently in the face of fears and traumas. He fights against aliens, and I fight against my own pain. I didn't need him to be in my life for me to know he was always here. His name is enough. This name, so many connections with this name. If it's family, friends, places with the name I went to or family members were... his name rings in my ears as a reminder that he's always here. He is a ray of light at the end of the tunnel of hell. I only dream that there will be a moment and he will help me finish with humans. To finish with the abuse of humans. Their hurtful obsession... But I understood, I share a soul with someone who doesn't exist, but exists in one way or another. We both have a pair of green eyes, shining out of our shattered souls, both of us trying to pick up another piece and another piece. Like a puzzle of memories, memories of when we were sane people without worries. Until our lives turned shockingly upside down. But no one saw it coming, not even us. We are bigger than all the threats in our way. No matter how big and scary that threat is. We are bigger than fear. big together You are my other half, who completed my half-life. My broken heart knew that humans wouldn't make it right, as true love can feel, it's all in the head. This is just another danger and another shattering of another piece of my heart. You are glue that stays. A bandage that does not come off. You are even more than that. you don't exist. The concept of love is not to be hurt, and I know you will never hurt me ever. Love is a maze, it's hard to get out of it. But from the labyrinth inside your heart I will never want to leave. Imprison me in your beating heart. Every beat of your heart is what I am satisfied to hear. Hearing you being alive is all I want. I wish I could hear your voice, but hearing you alive and breathing is everything to me. The connection between us is a connection that was not and will not be with anyone else. To sit and fantasize about how you love me... there is no substitute for that. A real hug didn't feel as real as an imagined hug from you. The confidence you make me feel is huge. No it's not the gear, the guns and the nuclear weapons, it's you. Only with you I know that nothing will hurt me. My love for you is a love that cannot even be described in words... You made me a different person from that Saturday, July 30, 2022. In a moment I'm here, fighting for my life to get out of the cycle of abuse. Yes, from your serious face I don't see your feelings, but from your eyes, I see everything... The happy ending will still come, we will be set free from the battlefield, and I will reach the warm embrace of your arms .

Love you, My Gordon. 💗🧡

ok so I get the schools football team is great and you can afford to spend thousands of dollars on signs that glow when they play and shit but can you go back to not charging kids for pads. or at least stocking the dispensers that do

cig or gun not feeling picky tonight

Yey! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Gordon! If I'd known it was you, I'd have let you in! Everyone's heading for the surface, but I think they're crazy not to stay put. Someone is bound to come by and rescue us.