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adolanables · 5 years

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The City - Chapter 20 (G.D)

The City Masterlist

CHAPTER 20

The past few weeks had been so different. Everything felt so strange and empty without Grayson, but you knew it was for the best. After the serious conversation the two of you had, Grayson had agreed to talk to Ethan with you. He didn’t want to, and you could tell it hurt his pride, but he didn’t complain once – he knew this was the only way to keep you.

Ethan was shocked to say the least. He knew Grayson needed help and would’ve been happy to support him getting that for as long as the problem had existed, but you can’t force someone to get help. If they don’t want to do it, it won’t ever work. Ethan had nearly given up hope on Grayson ever being clean again. So when you and Grayson showed up at his door, Grayson’s face puffy and red from crying, Ethan was speechless. Of course, Ethan wasn’t able to get the bill of the facility all on his own, so he reached out to their mom. Their sweet, beautiful mother who lived back in New Jersey. Neither of them had ever mentioned their parents, so when Ethan’s voice softened and a sparkle formed in his eye as he spoke to his mother on the phone, you couldn’t help but smile.

Apparently she was well aware of Grayson’s problem and it had caused a wedge between the two of them. She and Ethan talked frequently and he went home to see her for every holiday, but Grayson was not so similar. He had gone home for Thanksgiving and Christmas for the first few years they had been in Chicago, but it slowly dwindled. As he got further into drugs, he grew farther away from his family. His mom would confront him about it and eventually he just stopped answering phone calls, stopped going home to avoid the disappointment he felt from her. When he heard her sobbing on the other side of the phone he buried his head in his hands, taking in a deep breath. Knowing how deeply he hurt two very important women in his life was eating him alive. She had agreed to pay for the entire treatment program as long as he came back to New Jersey to do it so she could see him.

Grayson wanted to argue that compromise, but you had shook your head at him, assuring him this was for the best. There was a two day turn around in between the time that phone call took place and the time he had to be at the airport. You barely had time to be sad about him leaving with everything that was going on. Ethan had helped the two of you pack up a large suitcase full of Grayson’s clothing and necessities. You were shocked that Ethan had never been to Grayson’s house, and even more confused that you didn’t see any of his “roommates” again.

Grayson was quiet during the entire process. He was on the phone often, communicating with members of the business he was involved in. To your relief, they had agreed to let Grayson buy himself out of the hole he had dug himself – a price Ethan wasn’t pleased with but was willing to pay to save his brother.

The two nights he spent with you before having to fly back to New Jersey early in the morning were different too. He was quiet and solemn the first night, his arms holding you to his chest tightly for hours. When the two of you woke up the next morning, his forehead was laced with sweat, lips pale, he didn’t want to move. You soon realized he was going through the beginning of withdrawal symptoms and felt your heart break. You still didn’t know just how serious this problem was or how often Grayson used – and you probably never would. That day you held him closely for hours, feeding him soup and water when he would take it and pressing soft kisses to his forehead. From you hurting your arm, to Grayson experiencing withdrawal, you were pretty much forced to stay home from work. Thankfully, you hadn’t taken any days off work, so taking a few off for this was easy enough.

The car ride to the airport was quiet – Ethan was going with Grayson to visit his mom and help him get settled into the facility. You wished you could have gone with, but you weren’t supposed to travel until your arm was fully healed. On top of that, you knew you should get back to work – that is why you were here after all. Grayson was understanding, his hand laced through yours until he had to go through security.

“You’ll come visit, yeah?” His brows furrowed together, doubt and worry exposed in his voice.

“Yeah, Gray, and I’ll write – already typing out my first letter to ya.”You smiled softly, reassuring him as he squeezed your hand.

His hand fell from yours and his arms wrapped around you, squeezing the air from your lungs. He was holding onto you for dear life. You could hear his breathing getting ragged and you rubbed his back gently, trying to calm him down. “I love you, El. Please don’t forget me.” He muttered into your ear, pressing a soft kiss to your temple and pulling away from you, heading towards the security line with Ethan.

You sighed softly, loving to hear that he loved you, but also hurting deeply that he had to question your commitment to him. You hoped he didn’t doubt your care for him because you weren’t able to say it back yet. Truthfully, you knew you loved Grayson, but those words were so powerful and put you in a giant position to be hurt. You were terrified to say you loved him and open yourself up to that pain.

It had been three weeks that Gray had been gone and you were truly struggling. No, you had never had the pleasure of seeing him daily, but those nights spent tangled up with each other on the weekends set your soul on fire. You missed him so much. You had sent him 2-3 letters a week and he was writing back frequently. The misspelled words on the pages made your heart burst. He seemed to have finally gotten through the worst of the withdrawal, he said the first week or so was absolute hell. Ethan had stayed in New Jersey for a week, going to see his brother daily. When he returned, you couldn’t help but meet him at the door, ready to bombard him with questions.

“E!” You grinned at the tall boy walking towards you.

“I’d love to believe you were this excited to see me, but I know you want me for my brother.” He smirked, unlocking his door and stepping inside with you. “Whatcha wanna know Ella?”

“Just – how is he? How’s your mom? How’s… everything?”

“Woah woah.” He chuckled, holding his hands up. “He seems to be doing okay. It’s hard for him obviously, but the place is nice – the workers are extremely experienced – I just really think it’s going to help him.” He spoke seriously. “He and mom saw each other when she picked us up from the airport… and I just think her disappointment in him really gets to him. He was completely shut down until he went into the facility… I’m hoping they can work it out eventually.”

“Oh…” You bit your lower lip, upset that things hadn’t gone better with Grayson and his mom. “Well, hopefully.” You shook your head, ready to change the subject. “Do you think it would be easy for me to visit for a few days? Like does his schedule allow that?”

“Yeah, of course.” Ethan nodded at you. “He has about 3 hours of free time a day where he can have visitors and there’s a nice hotel a few minutes down the road from the place.” A soft smile played on his lips as a giddy grin spread across yours. “Arm feeling all better?”

“Still a little sore every now and then, but no more sling!” You clapped, following him into his apartment.

The two of you talked for the next hour or so before you wandered back to your apartment. The sadness you once felt going home alone wasn’t the same anymore. You weren’t sad that you were alone anymore – because you didn’t feel like you were. Grayson was there with you as much as he could be, and you could only hope he felt like you were there with him. You prayed he was able to finish the program on time and get back to Chicago to be in your arms.

You sat down on the end of your couch, opened up your laptop and booked your flight to Jersey for the weekend.

The day had finally come that you were going to see Grayson. It had been a little over a month since you had last seen him, and it almost felt like it had been an entire year. He wasn’t allowed to make phone calls, so the only communication you’d had with him was the lengthy letters the two of you were writing back and forth. He was so excited that you were coming, even if it was only for three days.

You had gotten a Monday off at work, so you were heading up to Jersey for the weekend. The ride to the airport Friday night felt like it took forever and getting through security definitely took forever. Ethan had offered to ask his mom to pick you up from the airport in Jersey, but you felt like the bond between her and Grayson needed to be fixed before you stepped into the picture. So when you arrived at the airport, you quickly got a rental car and took off on the hour drive to where Grayson was.

Unfortunately, visiting hours at the facility were only in the afternoons and you were sure Grayson was probably already asleep. You checked into the small hotel you were staying at, cleaned yourself up and fell into a deep sleep.

“Miss Fisher?” The receptionist smiled at you politely as she extended a clipboard full of forms to you. “I’ll just need you to fill out these forms and then you’ll be good to go.”

You signed the forms at lightning speed, just wanting to get to Grayson. The entire morning went by painfully slowly, you had wandered around the small town and ate breakfast and lunch. Finally, you were at the facility, filling out these forms in the fancy waiting room. When you had pulled up to the place, you felt a sense of relief wash over you. You were so grateful the Dolan’s mom had been so adamant about Grayson coming here, it was beautiful and fancy and you felt good knowing he was somewhere reputable.

“Alright, Miss Fisher.” The lady smiled at you again as she took the clipboard from you. “Mr. Dolan has requested his visit to take place outside. I will escort you now.”

Quietly following the dainty woman into the building, she walked you through what looked to be a lounge area with an abundance of flat screen TVs and comfortable couches. A few people were relaxing there quietly. Soon, the two of you were outside on a wooden patio full of full grown vines and flowers – it was beautiful. She guided you to the corner of the garden area and you were sure your heart was about to beat right out of your chest as Grayson’s familiar face appeared behind the trees.

“I’ll leave you two.” She grinned. “A staff member will come find you to let you know when there are thirty minutes remaining in the visit.”

“Ella.” Grayson stood up, hands in his pockets, a small smile playing on his lips. His hair was longer, beard had almost fully grown in, his skin was paler, but the circles under his eyes were less prominent and the way he looked at you made your stomach flip.

“Gray…” You breathed, taking a few steps towards him. He lifted his arms up to wrap around you and soon the two of you were embracing tightly, both pressing kisses into the others’ neck, small whimpers falling from your lips as you tried to hold back tears.

“Hey, don’t cry.” Grayson chuckled, pulling back from you for a moment to wipe a tear from your face. “Don’t be sad.”

“I’m not sad, I’m happy.” You shook your head at him, sniffling slightly and smiling at him. “I’m so happy Grayson.”

“Ay, there’s my girl.” His smile widened as he picked you up off the ground for a second. He pulled you back towards the bench he was sitting on. “So these visits are kind of weird… we have to stay here and I can take you to my room if I let a staff member know we’re going there.” He shrugged, pulling you down onto his lap, leaving his arms wrapped lazily around your waist.

“That’s okay, I’m just thrilled to see you.” You leaned back into him, resting your head on his shoulder. “How are you, Gray?”

“I’m doing really good, El.” He breathed into your hair, his thumb rubbing circles on your wrist. “It was really fucking hard those first few weeks, I’m not gonna lie. I wanted to leave – I really did. But it’s been getting easier and I’ve been able to appreciate the quiet here.” He shrugged. “I guess it’s just really different – a complete 180 from my life for the past few years.”

“I’m really proud of you.” You muttered, squeezing his hand in yours. All you wanted was to hold him close to you for hours and kiss him endlessly – but you knew you couldn’t. Physical intimacy was strictly prohibited on visits.

“I’m really proud of me too.” He chuckled softly. “I don’t know if I’m gonna get out on time…” His voice faltered and you could barely hear what he had said.

“Wha- why do you think that?” His confession made your heart rate increase and you tried your best to keep your breathing at bay so he couldn’t detect your disappointment. This was supposed to be a two month program if all things went well, but it wasn’t uncommon for someone to have to stay longer – or so Ethan said.

“I just had such a hard time coming in, I-“ He coughed, trying to steady his voice. He was grateful he wasn’t looking you in your eyes right now, he would definitely have broken down. “I had to go into critical 24 hour watch for the first three weeks when I should’ve been starting on the program on week two… so I’m about two weeks behind.”

“Oh, Gray…” You turned around on his lap to face him, your chest tightening at the red ring around his eyes. “It’s okay, it’s just a few extra weeks – anything to get you back to where you need to be, yeah?” You pressed a soft kiss to his nose, hoping no one would pop out of the bushes to tell you two to stop touching each other.

“I know, I know.” He grinned up at you, leaning into your peck. “It just sucks, but I’m really focusing on getting better – only about a month left to go I think.”

The two of you spent the next three hours talking about everything under the sun. Most of the time you were asking him questions about the program, about his mom – everything. Eventually, Grayson was able to turn the conversation back to you and your job, how your arm had healed; your heart swelled at his efforts to actually ask about you. It was apparent how much he had missed you, he wouldn’t let you move off of him, his eyes watering every time you mentioned a moment back at home when you wished he would’ve been there.

Of course rehab wasn’t easy, and Grayson never expected it to be, but he had never thought the hardest part would be missing his Ella. They had barely known each other three months when he came here, but he felt like he’d known her for three lifetimes. He knew he’d screwed up so many times in the time he’d known her and he was determined to never hurt her again. The way she had looked at him in fear after the night at the club was more than enough to convince him to come to rehab – he just needed the extra push to get it done.

The way her long brown hair flowed softly in the wind and her eyes lit up when he spoke made his chest tighten. He wanted to leave this place with her right now – go back to Chicago and curl up in her little apartment and never come out. He couldn’t imagine a life without her in it. The no intimacy rule was really driving him crazy too – her small sundress and sweater was purposely worn to look innocent and classy but it was driving him crazy. He hadn’t touched her in over a month and the fact that he couldn’t kiss her – he could barely handle it.

When he had told her about the extra time he was probably going to have to stay, he could tell she was trying to hide her disappointment. Her face fell immediately and she had held her breath for a few seconds, but the way she hyped him up and assured him it was okay meant so much to him. She really was here for him in every way possible and wanted nothing but the best for him. He was so grateful she hadn’t come with Ethan when he had been admitted. The days Ethan visited that first week were some of the worst days of his life. Ethan would never have told Ella what he saw and Grayson knew that, but he wished even Ethan had never seen what he was going through. The withdrawal and mental turmoil of those few weeks was enough to make anyone lose their minds, but the letters he had back and forth with Ella helped him stay strong through it.

“Mr. Dolan – Miss Fisher?” The friendly receptionist had appeared in the walkway to the bench once again, a disapproving look on her face as she took in your position on Grayson’s lap. “Thirty minutes until the end of visiting hours.” She smiled politely and took off back into the building.

You slipped off of Grayson’s lap and giggled, opting to hold his hand instead. “I wish this was longer…” You sighed, squeezing his hand in yours and resting your head onto his shoulder.

“We have two more days at least.” Grayson kissed the top of her head, smelling in her sweet vanilla shampoo. “Tomorrow I got permission for us to order pizza and eat in my room.”

“That’ll be fun.” You grinned, remembering how many times you’d eaten pizza with Grayson.

Soon enough the thirty minutes was up and it was time for you to leave. Grayson’s face fell as the staff members appeared to walk them both up to the front of the building. They allowed the two of you to hold hands up until you had to walk out of the door, Grayson sneaking in a quick hug as he whispered goodbye to you.

The rest of the evening was admittedly pretty hard for you. Seeing Grayson had been such a high, but leaving him and having to accept the fact that he really was in rehab was so hard. You couldn’t see him whenever you wanted to and in two days you were going to have to leave him again for probably another month. It hurt your soul that you weren’t able to take off work more often to see him, but you were saving up your personal days to be able to spend some time with him when he eventually came back to Chicago.

One thing you were grateful for was that Grayson seemed like the same person – aside from his restrained behavior due to the rules. He still made his snarky comments at you, held you close to him, but he was so much… sweeter with you? You weren’t sure why that was, maybe he realized how much you cared for him, but you weren’t going to complain. You already couldn’t wait to go back and see him tomorrow.

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mrspaigedolan · 5 years

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Rainbow- E.D/G.D

Authors note: Hi everyone! I’m currently working on some requests that were sent in! Keep sending them please! I love writing and I love seeing what you guys would like to read. Hope you enjoy!

Sitting in the drivers side of my car I glared at the stop light hoping it would change soon. Listening to the downpour hitting my sunroof. I opened the roof and stuck my face into the rain feeling the droplets on my face. When the light turned green, I slowly pushed the gas pedal to turn down the road. I needed to go on a drive to clear my head. I couldn’t stop thinking about the thing that happened three weekends ago...

Ethan and I were sitting by the pool. It was another hot day in LA, thankfully one without rain. We were sitting in comfortable silence on the pool chairs our hands intertwined. I took a deep breath thinking about everything with Ethan. In the three years that we have been together, we have so many amazing memories together. But there can’t be good without the bad. We told Ethan’s fans about us about a year and a half ago. To say the reaction was all positive is a big fat lie. There were some people who were really supportive and wanted us to be happy. Jealously took over the other fans. Calling me countless names, writing negative things on all of my social media accounts, the hate just never stopped. Anytime we were out in public we would be bombarded with people asking for pictures with Ethan. Which I totally understand because it comes with the job..but the face to face hate makes me wonder why Ethan is even with me. A lot of the time Ethan stands up for me and we leave and he always reassures me that he loves me. But when it’s constant and he’s only telling me because he feels obligated..that’s when I felt the pain in my chest, the loneliness, all of the insecurities you can imagine. Ethan became very distant over the past couple months. Always coming home late, cancelling plans, making up excuses for why he can’t come to things. Everything was piling up and I felt a huge weight on my shoulders. I didn’t want to end it because I wanted to go back to the same couple that met at the basic coffee shop at 2am.

“You know that I love you, right?” Ethan broke the silence, squeezing your hand. I thought about what he said before I replied, really wondering if I wanted to say what I was thinking.

“What are we doing Ethan?” I questioned letting go of his hand.

He sat up quickly and looked at me.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean what are we doing. We fell into this pattern of doing the same thing. Never seeing each other, never talking when we are together, you not coming home anymore. What happened?” I said tears brimming my eyes.

He sighed before speaking, “I don’t know what we are doing.” My tears fell faster.

“I know that I love you. I know that I care about you. I know that I would do anything for you. I just don’t know what way I love you or what way I care about you…” He said looking at the ground.

I felt myself begin to sweat. Maybe it was the hot sun or maybe it was the sad and awkward conversation we were having.

He continued saying the words that I never wanted to hear him say, “I think we need to see other people.”

Ethan was still looking at the ground which made me more mad than sad.

“You can’t tell me that you love me and then change your mind. If you’re going to break up with me at least have the decency to look me in the eyes when you do.”

His tear filled eyes looked into mine, “We’re done. We need to see other people.”

Once those words came out of his mouth, I got up off of the pool chair, grabbed my flip flops and went inside without a word.

“Where are you going?” He questioned.

“Well I don’t exactly think that I can live with my ex-boyfriend.”

I shut the sliding glass door and walked up the steps.

“But what about Grayson? You guys are best friends?” He asked following me.

“I will still hang out with Gray, don’t worry.” I got out my matte black rolling suitcase and began to pack my things. I opened the drawers and started to pack my clothing. Grabbing my folded shirts, leggings, pants, shorts, and my bras and underwear. I was actually embarrassed now for Ethan to see any of the lace underwear I owned. I shoved everything quickly and messily into the suitcase and went to the bathroom with Ethan still following watching. I grabbed my Morphe x Jeffrey Star bag that Jeffrey gave me from a shoot that he did with the boys. I began putting all of my brushes and makeup into the bag. Grabbing my toothbrush I decide to leave the toothpaste that we shared in the bathroom. I moved to the shower next grabbing my shampoos and conditioners and other body washes putting them in the bag. When I was finished putting all of the stuff in the suitcase I felt tears streaming down my chest and soaking the bikini top that I still had on from our pool day. When I looked up I saw Ethan standing there crying the same, or more than I was. I zipped my suitcase and put on my flip flops. Walking to the doorway where he was standing I opened my arms and gave my ex-lover a huge hug. I took a deep breath smelling his shirt. I wanted to remember our last moment together as a couple before the awkward after breakup scene. He hugged me back, the tightest he’s ever held me.

“I don’t want you to leave.” He whispered into my ear sending chills down my back.

Instead of saying anything, I let go of Ethan and walked out of our shared bedroom with all of my belongings.

I snapped out of my thoughts hearing the car behind me honking at me for my slow driving. It was still pouring. The sounds of the rain were relaxing but infuriating because of how loud they were. I pulled up to the coffee shop where I met Ethan. I put the car in park and sat starring at the glowing sign.

‘Coffe 24/7’

I unbuckled my seatbelt and got out of the car. Going to my usual booth, I sat down and ordering my usual.

“Y/N?” I heard Ethan say. I knew that I was going to be seeing him eventually but not this soon.

“Ethan, I’m sorry. I really don’t want to see you right now.” Out of my peripherals I saw the figure move and sit down.

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m not Ethan then huh?” I looked up to see Grayson sitting in front of me with a Dolan Twins sweatshirt on and a smile on his face. I shot back a small smile and looked into his eyes. He didn’t look good at all. His hair wasn’t put together in the swoop that it usually is, his tired eyes starring back at mine.

“You look really pretty by the way.” He said casually before placing his coffee order. The exact same as mine.

I glanced down at what I was wearing. Black leggings, by dirty vans, an oversized black sweatshirt, with my hair in a bun, no makeup on and my black framed glasses resting on my nose.

‘I look disgusting.’ I thought to myself.

We sat and talked about anything and everything for hours and hours. And then we got to Ethan.

“So what happened between you guys?” Gray questioned cautiously.

“We just grew apart. Fell out of love I guess.” I said furrowing my eyebrows. Grayson hummed in response.

“You two will find your way back to each other. You always will…” He spoke soft meaningful words but he spat them as if he was angry.

“Why did you say it that way?” I questioned, taking a sip of my coffee.

“Say it like what?”

“Like you’re upset that we would always ‘find our way back to each other’.” I said making air quotes with my hands.

“Because there is something that always bothers me when you’re together..”

“Well, explain then…”

“You were never able to see the way that you looked at him. You never saw your eyes glow when you were talking about him. You never saw how he looked at you either.” He stopped, sighing.

“And how did he look at me exactly?” I asked hoping to hear that when he looked at me he loved me and looked at me the same way.

“He looked at you only to see if you were watching him talk to other girls…”

And there was the pain in your chest again.

“Why would you tell me that Grayson?” You asked getting angry.

“Because, Y/N!” He ran his hands through his mess hair.

“Because I wanted to do this!”

Grayson quickly leaned over the table somehow not knocking over our empty coffee cups, grabbing your face and slamming his lips onto yours. You kissed back and then eventually pulling apart, smiles on both of your faces.

“Hey, it stopped raining.” You said casually looking out the window.

“There is a rainbow!” Grayson pointed behind you out the window.

You turned to look and see the most beautiful view. The sun was rising and the sun rays were beaming through the colorful rainbow.

“Wow…” You spoke.

“Yeah, wow…”

I heard the coffee shop bell ding, insinuating that someone was here. When Grayson’s face turned completely red, you turned around to see who was at the door. Your face dropped at the sight.

“When I said ‘See other people’ I didn’t mean my own brother, Y/N!”Ethan yelled. And then, it started raining again.

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