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cherry-pop-elf · 3 months

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Pretty Rain Cloud

Fred Weasley x Reader x George Weasley

Can he read as Platonic As Well, because Platonic love is valid AF!

You were in a horribly sour mood. You swore you would never smile again, and never be happy. No way. Of course, you make this vow to the likes of Fred and George. What were you thinking?

Warnings: Umbridge. She’s a warning in general/Set during Order Of The Phoniex: Slight blood, tending to wounds, intense stress, I mean it’s about Umbridge. You know what’s up

Writing Commissions Open

“Never ever ever again-!” You sniffled, as Fred was currently being your support. Letting you lean his head on his shoulder, as you two sat in The Room Of Requirement’s. Everyone busy with their Defense Practices, while George was busy cleaning the newly made scar on your hand. How it ached, and still burned. He tried to be as gentle as he could, but that toad knew how to make it hurt.

“Oh don’t go saying something like that-“ George would pipe up, as he wade sure your wound was clean. Having had plenty from Umbridge, let alone from the crazy life he lived in general. “We love your smile-“ Fred was quick to echo, as you would squeeze his hand. Since the pain of the fresh scar was so sharp.

“But you heard her. She said I was ‘Smiling To Much, And Distracting The Class’ and all that-!” You hiccuped, as George was finished with wrapping your hand. Being extra cheesy with kissing it. In the hopes you could smile again. To think, she would find a way to punish anyone wand everyone. You were wondering if she was just doing this to hurt Fred and George. Yet, it seemed like no one would escape her wrath. Not even Draco.

“Oh she hates that you actually have a pretty smile, and she doesn’t.” Fred tried to reason, as he rubbed your shoulder. Letting his older brother instincts take over. Doing whatever he could to help you. All the same with George, who remained at your feet. Holding that wounded hand, and feeling the pain throbbing into his own. How the white fabric was already growing a red tint.

“When that’s all healed up, gonna slather it in our latest invention. It’s a bruise removal puddy we got working on-“ George tried to cheer you up with, as Fred would pull out the tin. Inside was a shiny goop. Was rather similar to a glittery dark grey puddy. It did have you curious, but you refused to smile. As if those twins would quit that easy.

“How about this new candy we just made-“ George offered, as he pulled out another tin. Rattling it around. You were not budging. They loved a challenge anyway. They were older siblings, to Ron and Ginny. Harry as well, if anyone got technical with it. That boy was horribly traumatized, yet they could still get him to grin ear to ear. They won’t give up on you just like that. No sir.

“What about….” Fred hummed, as he looked around. They were inventors. Men that thought outside the box. They could figure this out. Those for eyes would scan the room, and watch as everyone would practice. Mastering the spells that she refused to teach. Seeing the dummy’s go flying had sparked an idea. The duo looked to each other, and just grinned.

“Up ya go-!” They said, before suddenly having their arms under each one of yours. Lifting you up, and making your legs kick and dangle. You were basically being kidnapped now. Those darn twins, and being stupidly tall. Along with strong. Even though Umbridge basically banned Quidditch, that didn’t stop the twins from practicing their beater skills.

“Where are we going-?” You asked, just accepting your fate. Better that way. You’ve seen what happened when people tried to escape. You knew you weren’t in actual danger. If you asked them to put you down, they would. They were pranksters, not monsters. Like how they made sure not to do pranks that involved books around Ginny, ever since the Snake Incident. Moral code, that just likes to bend a little bit.

“And here-!” Plopped down you went, with a brow raised. Just in front of one of the many test dummies the room held. Where was this going? Seemed everyone was now looking, fascinated at what the twins were planning. Ron was already grabbing your arm, and pulling you a solid five steps back. Ginny having mimicked the same action with Luna. Given she was spaced out a bit.

“Just five seconds-“ “-We know what we are doing-!” They spoke, which made everyone back up an extra large step. A mixture of curiosity, yet total anxiety at the same time. Just left to wondering what the ever living hell those two were doing, with the dummies right now. Casting quick spells, and working fast. In a blink, it was made clear.

“TA DA-!” They sung, as their ingenuity was unmatched. With some color changing spells, and some quick shifting of fabric, the dummies were turned into mock up dolls of the pink toad herself. “Not as ugly as her, but it gets the job done-!” They echoed, as they knocked on the dummies head. Having poorly done lipstick on. Given they had a little sister, and were basically the dorms collective older sibling, it was on purpose.

“HAVE AT IT-!” They chanted, before quickly ducking away. As if everyone was on edge to fire. They were, but you were able to have the first swing. A proud Flipendo Maxima was called by you, and that pink dummy went flying. Right into the wall, with a loud crumple, before being a crumpled up mess on the ground. You were just giggling in glee, as you did something you wish you could have to the real one.

“To easy-“ The twins snickered to each other, with such pride. Elbows to each other, before they were returning to your side. Watching as the other students would take advantage of this as well. All needing some serious stress relief from that hag. Everyone was able to gain some smiles, and you were included.

You could hardly recall you even dared made a promise like that around them. To never smile again. Maybe, deep inside, you knew what you were doing. That deep down you did deserve to smile. To spite that woman. No matter what your head said, you knew this. Never challenge a Weasley. Let alone the twins. They’ll make you smile, one way or another.

@george-weasleys-girl

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faranae · 4 years

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I can't find your bread recipe :( with the tag bread queen there are only three posts and none of them is your wonderful recipe where it how can I find it? Ly

Oh! I had to switch accounts at some point last year, that’d probably do it. Hold on I got you! The reblog it’s posted on is here, and since it’s about time I copied it into its own post anyway… With a few minor edits:

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Two adulting (kitchen-related) tips from me!

1. Buy a roll of parchment paper from the cooking shit aisle. A big roll will last you for-fucking-ever. Pretty much any time you’re using a baking pan you can line it with that stuff and save yourself A: food sticking to the pan and B: it’s a quick rinse and it’s clean.

2. Bread can get fucking expensive, so make your own. A bigass bag of flour and a bag of active dry yeast (store it in the friiiiidge!!!) works out a FUCK of a lot cheaper than buying bread at the store, and you can do so much more with it. Bread, pizza, rolls, cinnibuns, homemade pizza pockets. It seems intimidating but it’s stupid easy.

Seriously. It’s stupid simple to make, and most of the “3 hours” to make it is sitting around surfing the internet or doing whatever the fuck you want while the dough rises. If you have an afternoon free once a week to sit and play video games or surf the net, you have the time to make your own bread on the cheap.

Here’s my simple-as-fuck recipe:

2 ¼ teaspoons active dry yeast (You can buy a bag of this stuff CHEAP in bulk stores, the little single-serve packets are hella stupid priced)

1 cup warm water (think a hot bath)

1 ½ teaspoons sugar

2 tablespoons oil (any kind works for the most part)

2 ¼ cups flour

1 teaspoon salt

1. Stir the yeast, water, sugar, and oil up in a bowl. Let it sit for about 10 minutes. It will foam up VERY high, this is the yeast getting happy! If it doesn’t get all foamy, the water may have been too hot or not hot enough. Remember, Yeast is alive! Treat it like a nice girlfriend!

2. Mix your flour, salt, and the yeast concoction up in a bowl.

3. Knead that shit for about 5 minutes. It will start sticky as heck, but will come together into a nice dough. If it’s still super sticky, toss in a bit more flour. The dough should feel silky to touch if you’ve done it long enough. Here’s how to knead it:

4. Put your dough in a covered, lightly oiled bowl and leave it someplace warmish for an hour. At that point it will have roughly doubled in size, give it a gentle punch to release the gasses that have built up inside. Cover it again and let it sit for a bit longer.

Boom. You have bread dough. Here are some baking times and uses for ya:

Optional egg-wash: Just crack an egg into a bowl, add a pinch of salt or some water if you’re game, and mix the bejeebus out of it with a fork. Brush (or if you’re like me, goop it on with said fork) that shit thinly on bread before baking for a nice crust.

Pizza: Stretch it on a pan, stab the fucker all over with a fork, add toppings, bake 425*F 15-20 minutes. Roughly the same process for pizza pockets, just with more filling and pinching it shut before baking.

Bread Sticks: Make snake-shapes, let rest on pan 10-ish minutes, bake 400*F 10-20 minutes.

Dinner rolls/Pullaparts: Make ball-sized (yes those balls) balls. Place on greased pan, let rest 10-20 minutes to rise. Egg-wash and bake 375*F 25 minutes.

Bread: Lightly score (cut) the top, let sit for 20-ish minutes on/in whatever you’re using to bake it, egg-wash, bake at 375*F for 20-ish minutes. It’s done when it sounds hollow if you knock on the bottom. If it sounds solid, it’s still doughy.

You bet your ass you can deep-fry this shit for cheapie yeast doughnuts. Roll that shit in sugar or dip it in whatever, it’s fucking tasty.

Bagels: YES. YOU. CAN. Form bagel-shapes out of the dough and boil them in salty water for about 2 minutes. Egg-wash them and bake them at 400*F for 10 minutes.

Cinnamon Rolls: Roll that shit out into a rectangle. Brush it with a mix of butter, cinnamon, sugar, and a pinch of salt (no exact amounts here, do it to your taste). Roll it up into a log, and cut it into discs. Let them sit 20 minutes in a pan and then bake at 375*F 15-17 minutes. I can personally vouch for these coming out amazing! If you bake them long enough, the filling will caramelize on the bottom of the pan into pseudo-crunchy-sweet-buttery candy, and if you’re using parchment paper it’ll pop right off for indulgent consumption.

You can add whatever you want to the dough for some variety, just if it’s dried spices remember you really only need 1-ish tablespoons. I personally like making bread with about 1 tablespoon of dill in the dough. Roll it out flat, sprinkle it with cheddar, roll it into a log, squeeze the ends shut, and bake it like a regular loaf of bread. Cheesy dill bread OMNOMNOM.

That got a bit long. But yeah. Bread’s expensive, yo. Save your wallet.

(Also it’s ridiculous amounts of therapeutic to bake, for me anyway.)

#Bread Recipe #Recipe #Baking #Bread Queen #AskFara #Fara Speaks #inaomiam

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shinechermont · 3 years

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Almos

Almos is a 6 years old boy. He is the accident kid of Nightmare.

He is the kid Nightmare had with an unknown person. Nightmare didn't want anything with him so he abandoned him

After some time, he met Mora Tertis, who adopted him and slowly discovered part of his past.

Now some information about him!

• He/him

• Anxious 24/7

• Shy bean

• Awkward boy

• Sweet boy

• Has the power of manipulate people's feelings. Just like his dad :3

• Likes snakes because they are cute.

• Likes cats because they are also cute

• When he is angry, some goop can drip from his eyes and nose. He also can form small lumps in his back which actually are still not formed tentacles

• Basically his bones are covered in goop but inside. when he sneezes, goop comes out

• He is a very sick boy because of the goop. Can't really run or go out too much :'|

• Likes to read books and sometimes sings to Mora when they are upset.

• Adores candies. Give him any and he will immediatly befriend you.

• Too scared of adults to do mischief. He is a very obedient boy ^-^

• Hates too much attention. Again, he is very shy.

• Secretly wants to meet his parents. Specially his dad, even if he isn't the best person in the world.

That's all I had to say about this baby! Hope you like him!

#almos #nightmare kid #ac art

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jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear · 5 years

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The Gotham Rogues and their Super-Pets (from the DC Super-Pets Character Encyclopedia)

Joker is first, and Harley share two hyenas. His is named Crackers. He got his name because Joker taught him to eat all of Harley’s saltines. And don’t forget about his clown fish! Harley got it for his birthday.

Harley’s hyena is named giggles. He loves to pull pranks and scowl. He’s only loyal to Harley, while Crackers listens only to Joker. Still not sure why they're green though, lol.

Oswald has his own flock of birds. Artie Puffin is the leader, followed by Waddles the penguin and Griff the vulture. “One toss of Artie’s high-tech dice means bad luck for any foe caught in their icy blast”

Bane as Osito the beat cub! He’s named after the stuffed animal Bane had as a child, and he even sports a similar mask to his master!

Catwoman has a Siamese cat named Rozz. He’s a master bugler just like his mother Selina, so beware when he is on the prowl!

Scarecrow, fittingly, has a murder of crows at his side! The leader is known as Croward (coward? get it?) He likes candy corn and has his own version of Fear Toxin called Scary Dust!

Poison Ivy has this weird chimera dog named Dogwood (named after the plant of course) Beware, because he has mind-controlling abilities!

Mr Freeze has Ice Bear! (and no, not the one from We Bare Bears) He’s a shy polar bear who likes forested doughnuts!

Ra’s Al Ghul owns a camel named Sandy. She actually drinks from the Lazarus Pits, which keeps her very healthy! She also has quite the stamina, storing fat in his hump so she can travel across the desert.

Otto the owl belongs to Riddler! He’s a genius just like Edward, With a sharp beak and wise mind, this bird helps Eddie plant his riddles across Gotham

Two-Face has a fiddler crab named Lefty. He looks like the splitting image of Harvey Dent. (and funny enough, he likes banana splits)

Mat Hatter owns a cat named the Mad Catter! He’s also a collector of hats, just like his owner Jervis. He bares a strong resemblance to the Cheshire Cat of Alice in Wonderland.

Clayface has a Geoduck named Goop. Goop loves to eat slime and has shape shifting powers just like Clayface, so be careful!

Killer Croc has two pets, a snake named Anna Conda (clever name) and a tarantula named Dr. Spider. Anna Conda is a good simmer and loves to accessorize with jewelry while Dr. Spider who develops evil weapons for Waylon!

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ticktockstuck · 5 years

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Versal Biology Lesson: Gels

Folks like Tyzias and Galekh, whose bodies are slimy and fluid, are collectively called gelatines, though most people just shorten that and call them “gels”. Gelatines are not a specific race within the Verse and it’s more accurate to call them a specific type of person in the same vein as “having a snake tail for a lower body” or “being a half-bug centaur” or “having multiple arms”.

Either you’re a gel or you’re not. Gelatines are born the way they are, and barring some Denizen-level magics you can’t transform yourself into a gel. The majority of gels are trolls thanks to their mutation-friendly biology, but human or even leprechaun gels are entirely possible. The latter two require a lot more odd circumstances to occur but biologically speaking they’re entirely plausible.

Not all gels are the same. One of the ways that different gels stand out from each other is in viscosity; some are fluid and watery while others are dense and made up of solid goop. Coloration can vary wildly, as can composition. Tyzias’ body is heavily similar to caffeine while Galekh’s body more closely resembles an opaque heavy tar. Another gelatine could have the transparent appearance of water, the dense swill of fruit pulp, or even resemble any number of acids.

Gels have consistent mass. Gelatines build up their bodies the same way non-fluid folk build up weight. Once a gel gets past their race’s relative age of puberty their bodies have built up 90% of the mass they’ll ever have, and the rest comes in slowly over the rest of their life. To the benefit of drippier gelatines, some of that mass can be temporarily lost in safety but an excess of lost mass can be detrimental to their health. Food, rest, and general self-care helps gels build their mass back up.

Gels have a consistent shape. While their fluid anatomy allows them some freedom in their body’s shape, they maintain a set structure and any transformations will eventually fall back to that structure. Moreover, those transformation aren’t able to spontaneously add or remove mass, they’re just moving what they have around their body. As a general example, a gelatine could form a tendril out of their mass but at best it’d be able to stretch 3-4 feet away from their body. A gel’s shape usually takes after their respective race but any number of other quirks can sneak into their biology to complicate things (i.e. serpent-bodied gels).

Gels have a “skeleton” that keeps them together. Every gel has a structure in their body that acts as their center of mass and (put simply) as a hybrid skeletal-nervous system. This can manifest in one of three distinct ways: an exoskeleton, an endoskeleton, and a membrane.

An exoskeleton like Tyzias’ means their body is more rigidly locked to a specific shape but they’re less prone to dripping and are better protected from outside forces.

An endoskeleton like Galekh’s gives a gel much more freedom of movement and a greater ability to transform their bodies, but also exposes them to the elements.

The third option is that they develop a thick membrane as an outer layer to their slime bodies. This tends to be rare and these cases are called gummies due to having a similar body structure to certain candies. Their boneless bodies are even less capable of transformation than a gel with an exoskeleton, but they’re not as threatened by their environment as a gel with an endoskeleton is.

Gels have the standard array of internal organs. Outside of their central structures, gels have the same stomachs, brains, hearts, and whatever as anyone else of their respective race...well, mostly. Some organs have some specific adaptations to their slime anatomy but generally there’s little difference in function or form. This also means that they’re as vulnerable to physical and mental injury or illness as anyone else, though their slime bodies allow them a measure of self-defense by moving organs around (within reason). This also means gelatines can grow hair but you see that more often on gels with an exoskeleton since they have the proper base for it, though gummies can have a similar feature growing out of their heads.

Gels don’t melt. While gels have a fluid anatomy, they don’t dissolve when they’re wet. A gelatine’s center of mass and their organs are still there to keep their bodies held together, so instant dissolution and death just doesn’t happen. In a rainstorm, for example, a gel could just “drink” any water that comes their way by absorbing it into their slime mass, and at worst they’d experience some brief water bloating. Do not confuse this point to mean that gels experience bodies of water the same way anyone else does; if a gel was tossed into a pool they wouldn’t die but the water would interfere with their ability to move and they’d have difficulty getting out on their own, and drowning is entirely an outcome they need to worry about.

Gels are vulnerable to the temperature. How drastically the weather affects any given gel depends on their individual composition (thick, smooth, goopy, fluid, etc) but in any case it does have an impact. Dry climates specifically are the worst for a gel to bear because they can start to dry out, making it harder to move around and eventually they’ll start rapidly losing slime mass. Frigid temperatures can make them sluggish but it’s a lot more bearable for them than intense heat.

If you have questions about gelatines that weren’t answered in this post, the inquiries office is always open. I can’t say when the next installment of this series will be, but there will certainly be another one because the Verse has more than enough biological oddities to cover.

#ticktockstuck #Versal Biology Lessons #Setting Notes

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snakatoo · 3 years

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#610 - Candy Gore on a Stick Designer: CloudBorn309 Artist: CloudBorn309 Owner: Gadgetrocks Corrupt Snakatoo ● Pointed Ears ◉ No Cheeks ● Heart Nose ◉ Circle Eyes ● Curled Tail ◎ Analogous Blood ◉ Goop Blood ● Longer Fur ● Snake Tongue ● Mane/Scruff ⊗ Guro Snakatoo are a Closed Species owned by slashedstrings. Do not make your own without permission.

#x cloudborn309 #x guest artist #x corrupt #x snakatoo #x ascended

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falloffthebones-blog · 6 years

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Jelly vs Candy

((ayy, I actually didn’t plan to make a drabble based on this image, but turned out it was pretty easy to re-purpose an old formerly non-canon drabble into this so.... here ya go))

The forest was shrouded in its typical silence. It was all white and grey: quiet snow all over the ground and an obscuring mist fading everything into the background. The area’s sole resident could easily match its creepiness. He was pale as his surroundings, save for his empty black sockets. The mutant skeleton slowly paced back and forth to one side of his post. One worry that frequently occupied his mind reared its ugly head again:

Someone else is going to come. Just a matter of when, Jelly thought, I’m willing to bet they’re gonna wanna finish the job.

A puff of cold air exited his nasal cavity as he stopped himself. His vacant gaze looked into the trees.

Or, everything will reset. Heh. Not sure which I prefer at this point.

His grin crawled just a little bit further up his face.

This place has become so miserable, so… rotten. But still, at least it feels like what I do matters. It’s like I make a difference: like guarding this place will actually change something. Sure, it’s basically the same old shtick, but at least I’m trying to do something good, right?

Jelly’s spine straightened. Something was walking through the snow, heading for his station. His expression went from slight interest to relaxed again.

Musta jinxed it.

As he turned, he finally noticed what his heightened animal-like senses were telling him. He felt his stomach drop.

That’s not a human. Or a monster. What is that?

His instincts were not giving him the best vibes, but still, Jelly wasn’t a coward. There was a job he had to do, for the sake of his damaged timeline. It was the only thing he had.

What came from the mists was a small creature, smaller even than Jelly. In fact, the visitor was downright marshmallowy, wearing sugar-sweet royal garb, but there was a definite evil-looking tinge to the creature, what with the pointed crown, sharp talons and toxic yellow eyes. Right off the bat, Jelly didn’t like this guy. He was caught somewhat off guard when the little creature flicked a red snakelike tongue in his direction.

“Why hello there! Hmhm. You must be Sans. Sans the skeleton,” chirped the man after squinting.

“That’s the name, buddy,” Jelly said, expertly masking the wariness in his voice, “Except most outside the timeline call me ‘Jelly’, on account of me being a pile of goop nowadays n’ all.”

“Oh yesss. I’ve noticed your oddity. Very cute,” hissed the man.

“Eh heh. Sure,” Jelly chuckled.

The two stood without a word for a time, looking across a plane of snow at each-other. The man’s grip on his striped cane tightened before he splayed his fingers and tapped his nails boredly. Jelly jammed his mitts into his pockets, his left hand clutching some kind of hidden strange device. As his slipper-adorned feet anchored deeper into the snow, the little man’s toxic eyes immediately locked on.

“So, um, you… gonna give me a name there hissy?” asked the short skeleton.

“Hm. It’s only fair, since you’ve given me yours right? Some call me Candy, but you will know me as Turbo,” he answered while looking Jelly up and down.

“There we go; that’s more like it. Good job,” Jelly said, partly thankful he even got a proper answer at all, “Sup, Turbo? I take it you’re new to the Underground, huh? I can show ya’ ‘round.”

“No thank you. If you wouldn’t mind, skeleton, kindly follow me so we can’t take this business somewhere more comfortable. I hate the cold,” Candy scoffed, before lifting his cane and trudging closer.

“Sorry pal,” Jelly said, keeping a smile in his voice but also keeping firmly planted to his spot, “Don’t think that’s a possibility quite yet. You’re giving off some seriously bad juju. Why don’t you just hang with me a bit? We’ll do lunch?”

“Listen child,” said the man as he stopped once it was obvious the guard wasn’t going to move, “I’m not here to humor your pathetic attempts at befriending me.”

“Heh. Kinda had a feeling that was the case. Guess it’s a bad habit of mine to try anyway,” Jelly uttered, before lifting his head, “But that means I’m not gonna let ya’ pass: no matter how much you wanna stare at me like I’m a steak.”

“Oo hoo hoo. I’ve taken hundreds – thousands – of copies of this world,” hissed Candy, “You are just as helpless as any other Sans who tried to stand up to me. Save yourself the heartbreak, Jelly, and don’t try to resist me: you can’t win..”

Jelly couldn’t help it as he felt his amorphous body prickle and tense. Picking up on the monster’s fear, Candy came closer. It took Jelly a few seconds to pry himself to the present and gain a hold of his better judgment. The lights in his sockets briefly flickered before becoming dark. By then, Candy was within spitting distance.

“Nah. I’ve done too much sitting around and letting things happen for one lifetime,” he said through a toothy grin, “And you really don’t need another timeline. Go home… You Filthy Virus.”

Candy sneered, bright green liquid dripping from his pointed teeth. His eyes narrowed as his lips pilled back.

“I don’t want your timeline. But if you must be difficult, we’ll do this the hard way.”

In a split second the virus had lifted his hand and swiped it across the monster’s face. Jelly stumbled and collapsed to his side. The soft matter on his right cheek and brow was slashed. He felt the blow to his health, but thankfully had absorbed most of the damage thanks to his Amalgamate state. It wasn’t the pain or even the red liquid that began to seep from his wound that startled Jelly; it was that Candy had moved too fast for him to be able to dodge.

Looking up, he saw that Candy was still standing there, when he could have easily moved past Jelly by now. Candy wanted to fight. In fact, Candy was eager for it, fascinated that his first blow hadn’t killed the skeleton. Jelly got up. A familiar blue glow illuminated the monster’s socket.

“Oo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo,” Candy laughed, “Congratulations. You’ve survived the first attack. Already, you’ve proven yourself so much tougher than most of your alternates!”

Jelly tilted his head back, his false smile growing wider.

“Oh my. Yes. Yes. Scary,” the virus purred mockingly, “Please make this worth my time, sweetheart. I am a very prestigious man, giving humble little you a sporting chance at fighting me, so count yourself as honored.”

The blue light in the monster’s socket widened before a slitted pupil appeared within it. Jelly’s pupil narrowed as Candy could briefly feel its gaze penetrate him.

“Heh heh. Sounds like someone needs a reality check,” Jelly said, “You’re lying to yourself if you think all your sins are for some kind of greater good. You know that, don’t you?”

Sneering, Candy leered, his neck snapping. His jaw transformed to become longer.

“Are you going to probe me all day, or are you going to attack?” Candy demanded.

“Welp, nothing I can say is gonna convince you to stop now. You’re gone, pal.”

“Fine, I’ll start!”

Candy lept forward, running on all fours like an animal. There was a great crack as the flesh of his neck ripped open, and out poured serpentine coils made of strong muscle and pointed vertebrae. His head was at the end of the elongated neck, deforming to become more beastlike. He snapped at Jelly’s face, but Jelly, now knowing what he was dealing with, was able to sidestep quick enough.

The ground broke open as Jelly created a platform to move him back and away from his attacker. As Candy was winding up to pounce again, two masses of white appeared to either side of him, forming melted, screaming faces. Tiny slicing shards spilled forth from the Blaster’s maws, but Candy lept into the air, avoiding the attack. Another set of Blasters appeared to surround him, but not a single one landed a hit as the serpent beast whirled in the air with expert precision.

But Candy couldn’t remain in the air forever. When he began to fall, Jelly summoned spires of bones to strike Candy on his way down. In response, Candy coiled up around himself, decreasing his surface area. This couldn’t be enough that he would avoid all the bones though. To Jelly’s dismay, Candy merely dealt with this by parting his jaws and unleashing a blast of acidic venom, dissolving any obstacles in his way.

Hoping to surprise the virus, Jelly swung his arm to one side, manipulating gravity, making Candy fall sideways toward an awaiting Blaster. Once again, his foe was just too fast, blowing the Blaster to pieces with his acidic breath. Swinging his arm again, Jelly tried to slam Candy to the ground. Candy landed on his feet, but was reduced to a crouch from the force. Other than that however, he was no worse for wear. Looking up, Candy was only met with a slightly furrowed brow, although he had a feeling the skeleton was far more perturbed than he let on.

“Didn’t I say I’ve killed thousands of you before?”

Jelly had no response other than letting loose a gauntlet of sharpened bone spears. Without so much as blinking, the virus jumped into them, weaving like a snake through water. One had to hit eventually, right? This is what Jelly thought, until he realized this invader wasn’t being held back at all, in fact, he was steadily coming closer. The spears went on and shredded the trees in the distance. Jelly halted his attack and Candy, thankfully, also halted his advance.

“Do you really think-”

Jelly wasn’t in the mood to wait for Candy to use his “turn” and sent forth another series of Blasters, which didn’t touch the virus any more than his previous attacks.

“-you can stop me like that?” Candy continued, glowering as if he had been slightly inconvenienced, “You’re extremely predictable. Just a tiny bit of cheating won’t be enough to land a hit on me, child.”

This was not something Jelly was used to. The vile deeds the virus had committed were so strong the monster could swear he smelled them. If he could just touch him, Jelly could make Candy feel the pain he caused. There must be something he could do that would have an effect.

Again, Candy came, his face becoming more and yet more viperlike the closer he got. Jelly whipped his arm out, then again, and again, and again, and again. Even as the gravity around Candy changed, his coils twisted around, still propelling his head. Jelly began to jump back but it wasn’t in time. The wind was forced from him as he was crushed against a far tree as the beast plowed into him. Candy reared back, looking down at Jelly, who clutched his chest and got to his feet.

“So, Sans, do you hope to lose honorably, or will you stoop to my level and fight like a real fucking monster!” Candy crowed.

Again, Candy struck at Jelly. Long needle fangs were inches away and threatened to sink into his skull. Jelly’s arm shook for a moment before he swiped, this time poising his pointed fingers. The snake’s face was redirected when Jelly swat him. Green snake eyes slowly opened before rolling toward the deep gashes in his cheek. The serpent cringed from the pain of the claw marks: they burned.

“Heh. Gotcha,” Jelly chuckled deeply.

The smile Jelly sported was answered with a smile from Candy, although this one was far crueler and, somehow, knowing. Candy slunk back but was only still for a moment. A flurry of green pixels engulfed the beast. His bright form began to change and grow. Before long, the virus had “leveled up”, transforming himself into a bear-sized reptile-like beast with four strong legs, a long tail and a winding adder neck and face. Jelly removed his other hand from his pocket, holding his claws ready at his sides.

“You think you’re exempt from blame for what you’ve done? There’s gotta be some kind of reason, right? You think you’re just an entity no one can understand,” Jelly stated, the bitterness in his voice palpable.

“Hahaha. I am what I am.”

“And what you are is disgusting. I can smell it on you.”

“And you are soft. I can prove that.”

With that, Candy came running at the monster, howling. Jelly hesitated before parting his jaws, screaming back at his attacker. Now Jelly was the one to grow and change in appearance; he moved like fluid as his bulk shifted toward his front end. When Candy jumped at him, Jelly leaned in, spreading his arms. The two collided, grappling each-other and digging their claws into the other’s back. They pushed against one another. Candy felt his hind legs begin to give. It was obvious Jelly was physically stronger than he was and could tear him limb from limb if he let him.

Knowing he’d never win in a shoving match, the snake dug his fangs in-between Jelly’s shoulders. A chunk was ripped away, although most of it was just the fluffy hood of his jacket. Jelly used his amorphous nature to his advantage, simply forming a harpoon out from the center of his chest and thrusting it out to stab Candy. Suddenly aware his belly was pierced, Candy squealed and let go, backing away. Jelly too backed off, a jet of the snake’s acid blood getting onto him. White gunk fell down from where Jelly was burned. The bloody harpoon reabsorbed into his body.

“Hoo hoo hoo hoo. Ah hahaha!” Candy just laughed, “Well, well. Look at you. That was a start. But do you really think there’s anything you can do that’ll stop me?”

Jelly let out a breath, shaking his head, causing some of his dissolved body matter to fly away.

“I get it already. You don’t like it when you can’t have your way, so you belittle anyone who tries to stop you. Right now, that’s me. Not comfortable with what I got to say about you, huh? That’s cuz you know what you’re doing here is wrong, don’cha? ‘Better silence that little skeleton who’s reminding me of how much of an evil bastard I really am’, right?” Jelly shrugged, “Heh, I kinda feel bad for ya’. You really don’t have any friends, do you?”

Candy sprung. Jelly didn’t flinch as the virus stopped inches from his face.

“Don’t you preach to me, you self-righteous little twerp!” Candy screamed.

“Look. Trust me bud, I know your type.”

“Oh? You think you know me huh?” Candy growled.

“I figure I know enough to make a decision, and that, friend, is to keep you from having your way.”

“Hm. Hahahaha!” the snake began to smile once again, “Oh no no no! The word ‘decision’ implies you’re making a choice. No, child, you are only doing what you’re programmed to do. That is why you can’t win against me: I know your programming, thoroughly.”

“Really? Sure feels like I’m choosing to roast your greedy ass to me.”

“You don’t believe me then? You really think you have the power to make a choice?” Candy asked, quirking a scaly brow.

“That’s ‘bout the long and short of it.”

“Interesting. Then riddle me this,” Candy crooned, eyeing the monster as he began to stalk circles around him, “If you really had a choice... why did you not choose to save your brother?”

Jelly squared his shoulders, but did not respond.

“Oh dear. That one’s still tender, isn’t it? Hmhm. So answer me; did you or did you not allow your brother to get killed?”

Finally, the toothy grin Jelly showed faltered. His expression fell into a numb frown.

“What did you do?” Candy demanded.

Jelly muttered.

“Excuse me?” Candy sneered, glaring at him.

“Nothing,” Jelly breathed.

“What was that? Louder!”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Oh ho ho ho?! Ha ha!! No, you didn’t. You sorry string of code. You know what you did; you let your own brother die! Right under your watch! Did you even care?”

For a second, Jelly felt his body jerk against his will. His anger flared and he rose his voice;

“Leave him out of this!”

Immediately, Jelly realized he yelled. He could still feel the emotions burning inside him, but he tensed, trying to keep them down. Candy just grinned wider.

“You speak an awful lot about morals and of the actions of everyone else, but at the end of the day… you, you are useless!”

That was it. Something inside of Jelly broke.

This time, it was he who came running, mouth agape and arms stretched. He took Candy briefly off guard and grabbed him, burying his fingers into the virus’s scaly skin. Pain shot up from Candy’s spine as he was dragged down. He felt his feet slip and he was thrown to the floor. At this point, Candy started to struggle and twist. He ripped himself free and glanced at the burning wounds Jelly’s claws left him. There was briefly a purplish glow mixed in with his blood.

When he returned his eyes to Jelly, the Amalagmate had changed similarly to Candy had, bigger, more muscular and with more vicious jaws. Although Jelly snarled and slathered, Candy could still see humanity left in him. He wondered if Jelly could hang onto it.

With superior speed, Candy flew toward his opponent. But he did not bite him. Instead, Jelly found everything around him turning. He began to feel nauseous as the snake’s coils wrapped around him. Limbs were crushed against his body. His middle was squeezed. Vomit and froth ejected from his parted jaws. Trying to move, he was stabbed by the pointed spikes of the virus’s armor. An attempt to let out a cry was interrupted as a bloody mixture bubbled up from his throat. Sick ran down between his teeth. His pupil rolled as Candy moved his face in front of him.

“Come on, skeleton! Prove to me you have free will! Fight me! Go against your programming! Be free! Do what you must!”

The crushing did not relent. Jelly felt as if he might explode. He clenched his teeth was if in an attempt to prevent this. Candy was right. He had to do something.

A surge of power ran down his arms as he began to push back. With a warrior scream, Jelly slowly forced the coils away from him. Despite that Candy refused to weaken his grip, the monster’s arms shook and pushed the serpent’s coils away. Jelly freed himself.

Candy was too distracted by being impressed with Jelly’s strength that he couldn’t react in time as the monster, now able to move, launched himself toward his neck. Panic shot through the serpent as he felt his throat was assaulted. Jelly’s mouth burned as the serpent’s blood filled it. He ripped away a chunk of flesh from Candy’s neck. The coils went slack as Candy slithered back, giving Jelly space. Candy simply watched as the skeleton tilted his skull back and swallowed the hunk of meat. Jelly could feel the tainted flesh bubble inside his belly.

“Get out,” Jelly thundered, bloody foam falling from his chin, “Now. Before I do something crazy.”

“But Sans. You’re so close.”

The Amalgamate’s features softened. Leaning back, he closed his eyes. Claws vanished as he drew them back into his pockets. His palm wrapped around a strange device.

“I warned ya.”

Jelly vanished into thin air. Toxic green eyes widened as Candy gaped his mouth. Curse these worthless skeletons and their tendency to teleport. Red tongue flashed. His foe’s scent returned, coming down from above. Spitting, Candy began to whip around but a weight fell upon the back of his neck. Jelly kicked down into the virus’s spine, causing an audible crunch as the snake’s head jerked up.

Candy felt his jaw slam into the ground. He wasn’t down for long before he reared to strike, but his quarry wasn’t there. Suddenly from one side, the skeleton reappeared and came toward him. Jelly swiped with one claw, while the other was hidden in his pocket, clutching his device. White claws created gashes in shining scales. Jelly disappeared before the acid blood could touch him.

The assault rapidly increased its pace. Every time Candy would throw himself, Jelly would vanish, only to appear and slash a new area of his body. Before long, the bombardment was blinding and all the snow was melted by hot blood. A rain of the virus’s green fluids fell every which way. This continued until very little of Candy’s armor was left untouched.

An agonized scream filled the frosty forest as the virus lamented the loss of his beautiful skin. This had to stop. But Jelly had no intention of letting Candy off easily. This was only the beginning. The true insult would happen when he dug into the serpent’s face. Just before he appeared again, Jelly felt a burning pain in his middle. He faltered, breathing out black tar from his nose. Candy saw Jelly teleport in front of him, his singular claw raised. But instantly, Candy noticed the other’s pause and took advantage. Striking swiftly, Candy grabbed the hand that was in Jelly’s pocket. Jelly’s claw was ripped from his pocket. The device was released. No sooner did it hit the ground, did Candy slam a foot down to destroy it.

After that, the monsters backed away, giving each other space to recover. Jelly’s breathing became more labored before he sputtered, globs of black and bright green being violently rejected from his body. Candy shook slightly, his exposed, acid-laden flesh now being stung by the frigid air.

“Hm. I honestly didn’t think you had it in you,” Candy growled.

“I—”

Jelly stopped short, seizing and clutching his stomach. He doubled over before vomiting again. A huge mass of bubbling black material fell to the ground at his feet. When he stood up straight again, it looked as if he had lost a good deal of his body weight. Still, he spoke between teeth dripping with tar.

“I had to do something. I had to stop it from happening again.”

“At what cost, Sans?”

A few seconds passed before Jelly began to limp backwards. He looked pitiful: a pained expression on his face and one arm still holding his middle. When he was in front of his sentry station, he stopped.

Candy was surrounded with pixels before shrinking down. He resumed his normal form.

“You can’t stop it. Your actions won’t change anything,” hissed the snake.

The corner of Jelly’s mouth trembled before he put his arms to either side of him. His eyes became hollow black pits. White spires rose behind him. He wound up with one claw before thrusting it outward. Bone spears rocketed toward Candy, their tips glowing with purple.

As before, Candy moved with expert precision. Each projectile flew past him: except one. Candy brought his arm to his side, spreading his fingers. Slamming his hand shut, Candy grabbed the spear. Before Jelly could register what had happened, Candy swung around. The spear flew again.

Burning. Pain. Retribution.

Jelly’s legs shivered. Sockets and jaw dripped with bile. The skeleton was speared directly through his heart. A tiny whimper exited his teeth as he could feel the karmatic curse radiate throughout his body. Forlorn black eyes watched as the virus walked to him.

“Do you feel the Karma?” Candy rasped.

Knees collapsed but still Jelly held himself up. He barely reacted as Candy closed a talon around his face.

“You tortured me. You’d have killed me too. But I suppose should I congratulate you, on finally behaving like a real monster. You know, that’s the trouble with the monsters in this game: you’re all so sure you have the moral high ground.”

Candy pushed Jelly’s face, causing him to fall onto his back. The spear was pushed forward from his body. Jelly lay in the acid-spattered ground. His breathing had become more even and his eyes more distant.

“It is done now. There’s nothing more you can do: not as long as you’re stuck in this world of code,” Candy stated, looking down at the wretch, “Death will come easy. Just close your eyes. Dream of the friends you will see.”

Jelly felt his eyes flutter closed. It wasn’t because he wanted to give up. He just didn’t have the energy go on. He felt as if he was falling as his senses vanished.

“Don’t worry. When you wake up, you will help me to build a glorious future.”

#drabble #violence tw #blood tw #vomit tw #death mention tw #body horror tw #swearing tw

3 notes · View notes

kaaramel · 7 years

Text

willow’s new hallowed nights lines for @tantum-tenebris (anyone is free to request these, or any other sort of line compilation, btw, i love lookin things up)

here’s last year’s

Binoculars (Griftlands) = "It makes stuff look small no matter which way I turn it." Lone Glove (Griftlands) = "Who needs just one glove?" Snail Scale (Griftlands) = "Snails are gross!" Goop Canister (Hot Lava) = "Ooo, it's warm." Toy Cobra (Hot Lava) = "I don't like snakes." Crocodile Toy (Hot Lava) = "Yeesh. I can feel the nostalgia dripping off it." Broken Terrarium (ONI) = "It's just junk." Odd Radio (ONI) = "It's got kind of a dumb face, huh?" Broken Hairdryer (ONI) = "I never take my pigtails out anyway."

Candy Lice (ONI) = "Yuck! That's disgusting!" Otherworldly Jawbreaker (Griftlands) = "It's sorta tangy." Lava Pepper (Hot Lava) = "Mmm! It burns my mouth so good!"

#IM REALLY CONFUSED BY WHICH CHARACTERS KNOW WHAT A HAIRDRYER IS AND WHICH DO NOT..??????#mysteries upon mysteries #dst hallowed nights #dst spoilers #dialogueblogue

6 notes · View notes

weirdpaul · 7 years

Text

Every Band I’ve Ever Seen Live!

Abdominal Snowmen

Abysme

Action Camp

The Afghan Whigs

Alabaster Box

Alan Astor

Alaska

Algebra Suicide

Align Alike

Allegheny Rhythm Rangers

Allies

Alpha Control Group

Alzo Boszormenyi

AM/FM

America Hearts

Amoeba Knievel

Anita Fix

Annie and the Bombers

An Offhand Way

The Anti-Psychotics

The Antiques

The Antiquities

The Aquabats

Assassinate Caesar!

Atom and His Package

Atomic Mosquitos

ATS

Auk Theater

Automatic Matty P

Aydin

Baby Bird

Baby Shakes

Bad Fathers

Bang Bang Lulu

BaggyPantsRich

Bald Mountain Band

The Bassturd

Bastard Bearded Irishmen

The Bastards of Fate

Bastro

Bat Zuppel

The Beagle Brothers

Beard Science

Bearsuit

Beasters

Beat Happening

The Bedspins

Ben Blanchard

Bennett-Blanchard

The Benquick

Big Mouth Strikes Again Billy Castle

Billy Catfish

The Billy Nayer Show

Birdcloud

Birthday Suits

The Blandinas

Blast Off 3.0

The Bloated Sluts

Bloodbaby

Bloodless Cooties

Bloody Incisors

The Bloody Seamen

Blue Chair

Blue Oyster Cult

Blue Skies Collapse

Blunderbuss

Bob Log III

Bobby Conn

James Bogacz

Bomb Banks

Boom River

Bootsy Collins

Bottomless Pit

Bowhunter

Bradford Reed and the Amazing Pencilina

Brain Handle

Brass Chariot

Brass Panda

Braz Cubas

Brewer's Row

Broke Boland & the Dirty Pickles

Brown Angel

BS2000

Buddy Nutt

The Bumps

The Burndowns

Burning Cacti

Burnout War Cry

Butter Kings

Butthole Lipstick

The Buzzcocks

C-Money and Karl Kash

Cactus Wheelhouse

Camp PP

Canasta

Candy Machine Guns

Canned Hamm

Captain Catfeesh

Casino Bulldogs

Casy Stelitano

Catnip Coma

The Causey Way

Caustic Christ

The Ceiling Stares

Celebration

Centipede E'est

Cex

Channel Scorpion News

Charlie Anteater

Charlie Slick

The Cheats

Chestnut Station

Chet Vincent

Child Bite

Children of October

Choke City

Chris Leo

Chrome Moses

Churchbuilder

Chux Beta

City Dwelling Nature Seekers

The City Steps

The Claymores

The Clearing

Cloaca

Clownvis Presley

Cobalt Black

The Cocktails

The Code

Colin and the Shots

Colombian Express

Combustible Three

Concrete Elite

CooCoo Rockin' Time

The Copyrights

Corpus Christi

Cougars

Crank Radio

Creta Bourzia

Crisis in America

The Crow Flies

Crucial Unit

Crunk Witch

Cryptorchid Chipmunk

Curses and Kisses

Daily Grind

Daiquiri

Daniel Johnston

Danielson

Dark Lingo

Darren Keen

Dave Bernabo

David Liebe Hart

Dead City Dealers

Dean Cercone

Death of Samantha

Decaffeinated Grapefruit

Decision Way All-Stars

The Degenerettes

Demander

Deral Fenderson

Derek Deprator Band

Derica

Dethlehem

Developer

The Devil Dogs

The Devil is Electric

The Devil's Jukebox

Devin Russian

Devo

Die Kruezen

Dirtbag Diary

The Dirty Charms

Dirty Fences

Dirty Sunshine

Dirty Weekend

Discuss

Disrobe

Divine Seven

Divorce

Do Crimes

Don Caballero

Don Capicola

Dollar Shots

Donora

Doog

Dookie Houser Emcee

The Douglass Brothers

Down By Law

Downside

The Dozal Brothers

DQE

Drink Tax

The Dripp Brothers

Drug Dealer

Duckmandu

Duke of Uke

The Dumplings

Duo!

Dwarf Fortress

Ear to Ear

Earlimart

Earls of Industry

Ec8tor

Echolalia

Edie Sedgewick

Ed's Redeeming Qualities

Eggs

8 Cylinder

Eighty Eight Magnum

'85 Flood

El Boxeo

El Grosso

Electric Grandmother

The Elemental

Elephant Bones

Elf Power

Eli “Paperboy” Reed

Elliott Sussman

Elsinore

Ember Schrag

The Emergency

Emerson Jay

Emily Jo Fabiszewski

Endless Mike and the Beagle Club

Eoley Mullulay

Erectus Monotone

Eric and the Electric MP3 Player

Erika Carey & the Calamities

The Eruptions

Eskimo '88

Estelle

Eugene Chadbourne/Jimmy Carl Black

Euphonic Brew

Everyone Everywhere

Evolution Control Committee

Ezra Lbs

Face Down in Shit

Falon

Fancytramp

Fangs of the Panda Fat White Family

Fate of Icarus

Jerry Fels and the Jerry Fels

Fezzwig

The Fife and Forth

The Fingers

Fire & Sex

The Fireworks

First Into Space

First Jason

First Person Singular

The Fizzies

Flaming Lips

The Fletch-heads

Flotation Device

Flotilla Way

Folk Implosion

The Forbidden Five

Forgotten Nobody

Four Dead Flowers

The Four Roses

Four Seasons Boys

Frank Barone

French Toast

Fry Jones

Gadgits

The Garden

The Garment District

Gary Musisko

Gary Twoman

Gentleman Auction House

George Willard

German Shepherd Ghost Road

Gil Mantera's Party Dream

Girl Talk

Girl Trouble

Glad Girls

Go Pills

Go Pillx

The Goblins

The Goonies

Goonland

The Goops

The Gothees

Grand Buffet

Grand Piano

Granola Explosion

Grant Valdes

Gravel

The Graveyard Rockers

Great Ants

Greg Cislon

Groundwater Mafia

The Grow Ops

Grumpy

Guided By Voices

Guru Guru

Guyliners

Half Japanese

Happy Flowers

Har Mar Superstar

HARM

Hard Money

Harry and the Potters

Heaven & Hell

Heavy Cream

The Hecklers

Height

The Heiz

Helmet

Hell Yeah the Hellcats

The Helper T-Cells

The Heretics

The Hidden Twin

The Hi-Frequencies

The Hillbilly Varmints

The Hips

The Hodag

Hogwind

The Homostupids

The Hope Harveys

Hot Dog Forest

Hot Mess

Hotness

Houdini's Psychic Theater

House of Assassins

Household Stories

Hovland

Howard Jones

HTML

The Human Brains

Hungry Bill

Hurra Torpedo

I am the Lost Sea

I Speak Tree

Ian Semasko

Ice Capades

Icon Gallery

In the Wake of Giants The Independents

Instead of Sleeping

International Espionage

The Invisible Nothings

Irene Moon

Ivenfaint

J. Marinelli

Jack in Irons

Jack Medicine

Jack Sabbith

Jackson

Jad Fair

Jake and the Jakeman

Jam Messengers

Jana Bates

Jandek

Jane's Addiction

The Jasons

The Jealous Zealots

Jefferson Golfcart

Jericho Theory

The Jim Dandies

Jody Perigo & Laura Totten

Joe Jack Talcum

Joe Landes

Joey Molinaro

Johnny and the Razorblades

Johnny Locomotive & the Engineers

The Johnsons

Jonathan Hape

Jonathan Richman

Jonny Cohen

Joybox

JPS Brown

Judas Priest

The Juicy Girls

Juno Vega

Jupiter's Girlfriend

K-Hun

Kafka Romance Dissolver

Kalon

Karl Hendricks

Kazimier

Kevin Finn

Khaled

Kick Old Man

Kick the Can

Kill Or Be Killed

Kind of Like Spitting

King Karcass

King Kong

King Missile

kingdom Of Not

Kisswhistle

Kitty Pryde and the Shadowcats

Koala-T

Kracfive AllStars

The Kyle Sowashes

The Lady and the Monsters

Landing Strip

Landmonster!

Laura Kahl

Lavacola

Le Cachot

The Left Turns

Leonard Cohen Ensemble One

Leo's Operation

Les Georges Leningrad

The Lesser Apes

Let Them Eat Cake

Libre Duo

Life in Bed

The Limbs

Living Praise Choir

Liz and the Bandits

The Lobster Quadrille

Loose Interpretation

The Lopez

Lord Grunge

Lorelei

Lorenzo's Oil

Los Swamp Monsters

Lost Weekend

Lou Barlow

The Love Drunks

Lover 29

Lunachicks

Lung Mountain

Lydia Lunch

Mac Sabbath

Magic Wolf

Magnolia Electric Co.

Maguillacutty

The Main Events

The Make-up

Mama Spell

Man Found Dead

Manherringbone

Manhole

Margo Van Hoy

Mark Mallman

Marshmallow Pop Orchestra

Marumari

Marvin Dioxide

Massif

Master Mechanic

Maurice Rickard

Maxi-Pads

McCarthy Commission

MC Cliff B

MC Habitat

Meatballs/Fluxus

Mecca Normal

Medium Ugly

Meeting of Important People

Meisha

Meltdown

The Melvins

Bill Merante

The Meridians

Microwaves

Middle Children

Midge Cricket

Midnight Creeps

Midnite Snake

Mike Dillon Band

Mike Maimone

Mike Tamburo

Mikey C

Milagres

The Minders

Mindless Chaos

Miniature Giant

Miniature Table Concerts

Miss Massive Snowflake

Missile Toe

Missing Pilots

Modern Life

Modern Vending

Modey Lemon

Moldies and Monsters

The Molecules

Molesuit Choir

A Moment of Clarity

Mommy's Little Monster

Moonlight Motel

Moons of Saturn

Mortis

MOTO

Motorhead

The Motorpsychos

Mr. Funky

Mr. T Experience

MSC

The Muckrakers

Mud City Manglers

Murder of Bridges

Murphy's Law

Mustache Required

Mutant Mountain Boys

My Boyfriend the Pilot

My Captain, My Sea

My Dad is Dead

My Niece Denise

My Prodi

My Sexiest Mistake

My Superhero

The Name of This Band is Not Talking Heads

Nanako

Narse

Byron Nash and Plan B

Nathaniel Seer

The National Rifle

Nautical Almanac

The Need

Negative Reaction

Neighbors

Neil Hamburger

Nest

The New Alcindors

Newband

Nicholas Megalis

Night and the City

Night Shall Eat These Boys and Girls

Night Terror

The Noble Brats

Nobunny

Noctuelles

Northern Bushmen

The Northern Spy

Nosotros

Nox Boys

NRBQ

O Lendario Chucrobillyman

O.C. Feef

Oakley Hall

Octopus, Inc.

Odin Heed and the Headwinch

Ohmu

The Ohsees

On Vinyl

Only Flesh

The OPD

Orvill Rex

Ouais

Overseas

Owl Style

The Pacifist Femmes

PAK

Paleface

Pam Hanlin

Pancreatic Aardvarks

Parvulus Infectus

Patrick Elkins

Paul Green Rock Academy

Paul Kotheimer

Paul Labrise and the Trees

Paul Lynde 451

Paul Tabachnek

Pete Bush and the Hoi Polloi

Pete Donnelly

Pfunkt

The Phantom Maggots

Phat Free

Phat Man Dee

The Phone Calls

Phred Rainey

Piasa

Picasso Trigger

Pierogi Pizza

Pig Iron

Pikadori

Pinche Gringo

Pitchin' Woo

Pleaseeasaur

The Pleasureheads

Poingly

The Polyatomic

Polvo

Ponytail

Poopy Necroponde's Burgee Boys

The Pork Torta

Porno Tongue

Pox

PPDB

Presque Vu

Pretty Girls Make Graves

Professor Purple

Proto-martyr

Psycho-a-go-go

Puma Barrier

Quaranteened

R. Stevie Moore

The Radio Beats

Radio 4

Rainy Day Regatta

The Ramones

Rapscallionz

Ray Zen

Reason and Eos

Red Vs. Black

The Red Western

Refried Boogie

Reo Speedwagon

Requiem

The Residents

The Resistables

Rex Morgan M.D. Trio

The Rhodora

Rick Bach

River Is To Train

RJ Myato

Xylen Roberts

Robin Vote

Rocket From the Tombs

Rocketsled

The Roger 6

The Rogers Sisters

Rollins Band

Rot Shit

Roulette Waves

Round Black Ghosts

Royal City

The Ruins

Run DMC

The Sablowskis

Sad Tropics

Salt Chuck Mary

Sam Goodwill

Samuel Locke Ward & The Boo Hoos

Santa Inferno

Satanic Bat

Satyr/Elfheim

Savage Lines

Says She

The SB

Scandal

Science is Dead

Scott Demian

Scott Fry

The Scratch n Sniffs

Scrawl

Seam

Seas We Fear To Sail

Season Finale

Sebadoh

Secret Paper Moon

The Seeing Eyeballs

The Semi-Supervillains

Senator Flux

Sewercide

The Sewing Machine War

SFX

Sheer Mag

Shitappa Oyabun

Shonen Knife

The Show is the Rainbow

Sick Ridiculous and the Sick Ridiculous

Signifiers

Silbia Han

Silkworm

The Silver Eagle Band

Sissy Baby Boys

Skinless/Boneless

The Skirt Tasters

Slant 6

Slate Dump

Sleeping in Class

SleepyV

Slices

The Slow Reel

Sludgehammer

Smokey Bellows

The Smugglers

Sneaky Mike

Sodastream

Soft Sickle

Solarburn

Son of Bitch

Song of Zarathustra

Songs About Robots Sorry I'm Dead

Soul Excursion

Sounding Rockets

South Ken

South Sea Sneak

Sovron Court

Spacefish

Sparrow

Special Ed

The Speeds

Spidercake

Spoon

Sports Metaphors

Spudboys

Spynda, Pace and Kress

Star fk Radium

The Stars

Stars of the Dogon

Steady Matt

Stephen Foster and the Awesomes

Steve Boyle

Steve Malkmus

Steve Whitten

Sticky Pink Chew

Stone Temple Pilots

Jim Storch

Stuck in Standby

Styles For Modern Living

Styx

Subdevil

Sugar Daddy

The Suicide Dolls

Summer Erickson

Summer Lungs

Super Fun Time Awesome Party Band

Superchunk

Supersystem

The Surface Dwellers

Sweet Icing

Sweet Nothing

Take No Damage

TBA

Tecumseh EQs

Ted Leo + Pharmacists

Telecorps

Telefonics

Telesys

The Telethons

Television

Terror, Inc.

Testament

The Test Patterns

Thee 50's High Teens

Thee Speaking Canaries

They Might Be Jerks

Thin Sketch

Things That Aren't There Anymore

Third Class

.38 Special

This Present Expression

Three Day Stubble

The Thunder Chickens

Thee Starry Eyes

Tianna and the Cliffhangers

TigerHorseSheepPigCow

Tilt

The Tinklers

Tonks and the Aurors

Torus

Treeline Freeline

The Tree Three

Triggers

Tron Ate My Baby

Truckasaurus

True Love Always

Truxon

TsuShiMamiRie

Tub Ring

Tulpa

Tusklord

TV John

2020K

Uke and Tuba

Ukebox

Ukiah

Ukulady Liz

Ultimate VAG

Ume

Uni Sami

Universal Congress Of

Unlikely Japan

The Upholsterers

Upskirts

Vale and Year

Vampire Nation

Vampire Weekend at Bernies

Vehicle Flips

Vel

The Velcats

Velvet Monkeys

Vequinox

Videohippos

Viewers Like You

Village of Dead Roads

The Viragos

The Visitations

The Vivians

Von Ludendork

Vox Robotica

Wake

Wallace's Fallen Obelisk Kidz

The Wasps Nest and Valerie Kuehne

The Waxwings

WE are the Asteroid

We are the Dead

We Came From Space

The Weasels

Weird Al Yankovic

Werewolves

Wesley Willis

Western Pennsylvania

The Whipped Cream Explosion

The White Stripes

Will Simmons & Turdburglar

William Wesley and the Tiny Sockets

Wimp Factor 14

The Winterbrief

The Wire Riots

The Working Poor

Workshop

Wyld Stalyns

The Wynkataug Monks

X.13

The X Brothers

Asher Yatzar

The Youngstown Tramps

Your Favorite Assassin

Yung Ka

Z-Man

Za Dharsh

The Zambonis

Zigtebra

Zelazowa

The Zou

Zubat and the Bees' Knees

The Zvills

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terryblount · 5 years

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Crackdown 3 – Campaign Review

The past four months paint a bleak picture of the big-budget gaming scene as players had to endure a long series of major disappointments. Games that have been overstimulating our salivary glands for months – or even years – since their announcement only seemed to drive the wedge between publishers and us as consumers deeper and deeper. It was also no secret that long-time fans of Microsoft’s classic, Crackdown IP branded the third instalment as yet another game that missed the bar in terms of fan expectations.

It was therefore with a sense of wariness that I installed my review copy of Crackdown 3 since the current state of the AAA scene has been likened to a dumpster fire by many. Adding to my reluctance was the fact that I never played the previous games, which ruled out any sentimental attachment I might have had to the series as a whole. Ironically, Crackdown 3 turned out to be a game that I think was lambasted due to being a product of its context rather than a lack of quality.

“Quack, quack motherducker!” Apparently it is some sort of long-running gag in the series. Don’t ask me.

I am not saying that fans of this series have no reason to be upset; it has been nearly nine years since the previous game after all. However, as a player experiencing Crackdown 3 in isolation from its roots (and with curbed enthusiasm), I really had fun with it. It has no ambition to be original, nor does try to convey a compelling narrative, but what it can offer to players is a hearty sandbox experience that never tries to overreach itself.

Join the crew, Terry’s crew!

The game plays out in a world where super criminals have given rise to super mercenaries for hire thanks to an organisation simply called ‘The Agency.’ With the power of cybernetic and genetic enhancements, The Agency has ushered in a new age of peace keepers where a single ‘Agent’ can represent the military advantage of a one man army. As in the previous two games, The Agency has once again been summoned into a metropolis (called ‘New Providence’ this time round) where the power of corrupt bureaucrats has grown beyond the reach of the law.

This time the focal point of corruption lies within a super corporation named ‘Terra Nova,’ and it is up to Terry Crews… I mean Commander Jaxon and his squad to overthrow the establishment from within. In a style that is virtually identical to Middle Eath: Shadow or Mordor/War, the aim is not to kick down the front door and open fire on the person sitting behind the desk. Instead, Terra Nova must be destroyed using the one, true antidote for tyrants: Anarchy.

The leader of Terra Nova, Elizabeth Niemand. The final boss.

As such, the player will spend their time unleashing all kinds of hell on processing facilities, freeing the local resistance militia, and recapturing outposts all while mowing down masses of hired thugs. You do this until the commanders of each division get mad enough to face you head-on, at which point the opportunity presents itself to strike at the head of the snake. Once all of the lessor bosses have been blasted to kingdom come, the time will come to move against the leader of Terra Nova itself.

That weird feeling of Déjà vu

Shadow of Mordor/War is not the only book that Crackdown 3 has borrowed a few pages from. In fact, virtually all of the gameplay mechanics will feel extremely familiar to anyone that has so much as touched a sandbox or open-world game in the last ten years. Fans from Saint’s Row, Grand Theft Auto, Infamous and even Far Cry will all find something they instantly recognise within Crackdown 3’s gameplay mechanics.

Much like Shadow of War/Mordor you can even gather bits of intel on the bosses, and defeating one makes a path up to those in the higher hierarchies.

Still, the most obvious pedigree would have to be Just Cause 3 both in terms of how the game plays, and equally within the structure of the objectives. Crackdown 3 similarly puts you at the edge of the game’s world, and lets you tackle goals and activities in any order of your choosing. The player can spend an hour blowing up chemical plants manufacturing a green goop called Chimera, and then switch freely to liberating resistance soldiers who could offer additional support against the pesky local militia.

All that matters is results, and I never felt pressured to focus on one particular path. Yet, the thing is, I can list so many other games off the top of my head doing the very same thing, and this is perhaps Crackdown 3’s biggest weakness. Instead of being the stylish, next-gen, sci-fi epic that would be a more authentic continuation of 2010’s Crackdown 2, this game’s identity faces a real risk of disappearing beneath all of its more generic elements.

Why would you NOT want to play as Terry Crews!?!?!?

As I mentioned, there is not a whole lot going on in terms of the story which might make many of the tasks seem superficial, if not somewhat repetitive. The city of New Providence is small when compared to some of the dizzying, colossal sandboxes from modern entries in this genre. As such, you don’t exactly pick out an objective, stock up, and take a long trip to where you carry out your tactically-planned mission. You blow up one stronghold, before literally walking to the next one where you just rinse and repeat.

I can likewise agree with the haters that this game never fully realises its visual potential (without digressing into whether or not Crackdown 3 was visually downgraded). The world is characterised by that sterile feeling of a game engine more interested in keeping the frame rate up as opposed to depicting a lush, full environment. The developers, Sumo Digital, even removed those iconic, cel-shaded aesthetics that have always defined the visual identity of this series. This all adds up to a game that just does not have the eye-candy worthy of a nine-year wait.

I thought you said you liked it?

In spite of all this, Crackdown 3 really began to grow on me once I noticed several small, yet significant ways in which the game made an effort to keep things tight and polished. Even if the narrative fades into the background, and the gameplay never innovates beyond what is familiar to the genre, Crackdown 3 is still really good at what it does. The action is slick, volatile and it just works for a AAA title that you expect to have Terry Crews in the lead.

Good for crushing enemies or blowing up pumps!

Take the gun play for example. Here Crackdown 3 lays emphasis on the thrill of momentum and agility, so there is the option of an auto-lock on mechanic. Just bring anything into the gun’s sights, and the designated target will automatically remain locked on while you are free to jump and dash around the battlefield like a kangaroo on opioids.

It is not just purely for style though, since movement is a crucial defensive manoeuvre against the ruthless, hit-scanning AI. The game eagerly throws large numbers at the player once the fight begins, so those moves serve the purpose of making you an impossibly lively target to hit. Moreover, just one strike from the later bosses is enough to take a meaty chunk off your health bar, so getting good at dodging projectiles is anything but a wasted skill.

Agent + mining facility = flames.

The guns are also really fun even if the arsenal at the player’s disposal is not exactly vast. Each gun has been tailored for maximum efficiency towards a specific enemy type which prevents the player from just going in guns blazing. Chemical weapons are virtually useless against refinery workers in hazmat suits, but once you start bringing out the incendiary charges and explosive weapons, the fight suddenly shifts in your favour. This forms a welcome aspect of sub-strategy in addition to the already frenzy combat lighting up your screen.

On top of all this, just because I think Sumo Digital did not fully replicate the visual potential of this series does not mean the game is ugly. On the contrary, the environment is still unmistakably colourful and vibrant, and Crackdown 3’s physics engine is anything but shy when it comes to flashy, thunderous explosions. A distinctive visual style has also been worked into the vehicles and the architecture so, overall, the game is rather easy on the eyes.

Not much in the way of draw distance, but the game can be beautiful when it wants to.

Everything is more fun with friends… or not

Regrettably, I never got a chance to play the multiplayer so my apologies for not being able to comment on that. This is because, firstly, the upload speed of my shoddy internet will only end with me hurling my controller and, secondly, you need an Xbox Gold membership. Besides, in between Anthem and Apex Legends coming out within the same month, will anybody even be playing this?

It behooves me to mention that the multiplayer aspect of Crackdown 3 is called “Wrecking Zone” due to the physics-heavy gameplay mechanics. Much like Warmonger, which came out way back when PhysX cards were still a thing, the player is able to use super realistic, environmental destruction as an active advantage during gameplay. Feel like raising an entire building to the ground to flush your opponent out from hiding? Go for it. Feel like blasting a hole in the wall for a quick getaway? Sure!

Microsoft, however, does the physics calculations for you on the cloud, so you don’t have to stress about bringing the frame rate of your PC or Xbox One to its knees. Let me know how it is if you get a chance to play the multiplayer (or if you would REALLY like a review of it).

Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate

So the dissatisfaction of fans is not entirely misplaced, and I had a blast playing through the relatively short campaign, but where does that leave you making your way through this review? Well, my final opinion is that Crackdown 3 cannot be called a bad game in spite of a few superficial flaws. I am truly disappointed that they did not squeeze more of the sweet visual juices from the Unreal Engine 4, and Terry Crews was hopelessly underused as a leading character.

The agency car you can summon at any time. Once you earn some additional driving skill points it turns into a buggy.

Yet, I just ended up having so much fun because, again, this game just focuses on a near flawless execution of its core gameplay. The action and movement are based on an intuitive control scheme that will have you feeling like a total juggernaut in no time, and the environments make up for their lack in visual fidelity through the level of thought that has been put into their design. The more skilled I became at running and gunning, the more rewarding the overall experience became because the game had no trouble making me look like such a badass.

Crackdown 3 therefore makes for the perfect game to play over weekends when you just want to blow stuff up without having to sift through intricate narrative webs or plot twists. If you already have a Game Pass subscription, or you have a sweet tooth for the more anarchic flavour of sandbox games, play this as soon as possible. For avid fans of the first two entries and newcomers alike, perhaps waiting a bit until the price comes down would be best, but you might just end up liking it lot.

Fast and furious combat

Easy to master

Rewarding exploration

Collectable hunting

Voice acting and sound

Somewhat bland world

Limited story depth

Repetitive in moments

Mediocre graphics

Playtime: 10 hours total. For the single player campaign

Computer Specs: Windows 10 64-bit computer using Nvidia GTX 1070, i5 4690K CPU, 16GB RAM – Played using an Xbox One Controller

Crackdown 3 – Campaign Review published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

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yourelessfast · 7 months

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Updated Team Spooky's Designs a little

Mostly Vendetta. She has fangies and a thorax now! Ludlow's jacket is tattered, BooBoo's hat is a bit bigger, and Goops's sugar crystals are less disc-like

#ludlow the zom pooch #booboo the witch #vendetta the spider #goops the candy snake

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susantregre · 7 years

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50 Activities for Autumn

Fall = fun activities for families! We live in Texas where the temps are brutal in the summer, not much we want to do outside other than play in the pool.

For us, autumn means a chance to go on fun family dates. Each Saturday morning we do an activity together as a family from our fall bucket list. Here are just a few of the activities we are looking forward to doing together.

Autumn Activities for Kids

Pick a preschool fall craft to do together and have fun being creative together.

Decorate the front door — the wackier the better!

Pumpkin slime. Goop is a blast to play with. This goop is pumpkiny-orange.

Pumpkin pie play dough — this stuff smells SO good!

For an indoor kids activity, go on a spider hunt and see if you can find any cobwebs hiding in your house. After you dust them, create your own spider web using popsicle sticks, tape, and pipe cleaners.

Do your kids collect acorns? Mine love to squirrel them away. This is a great kids painting activity using acorns to make art.

Fall sensory bottle — fill it with all the best autumn colors!

Make fall slime to play with — kids love this ooey gooey stuff!

Build a catapult, take it outside and put a pebble or two inside. Watch them fly and measure how far the items went.

Create an owl craft with scraps of old magazines — my kids are in a cutting kick and would love this craft.

Make a owl from TP tubes using feathers, scraps of fabric and buttons. This craft for kids is adorable.

Create Fall Art. Adding an outline can really liven up a picture. Help your youngest tots paint and create wall-worthy art with some black glue. They paint scribbles and you outline the work into the shape of a leaf.

Make fall spice paints with ginger, pumpkin and more!

Watch your kids pretend and play in a “world” with leaves outdoors for your kids to explore through. This family created a whole house with different rooms. Afterwards, rake them up and have fun jumping.

Go on a nature walk to a new destination. Bring a long a nature bag for the kids to help them document what they see.

Plant bulbs for the spring. My kids love to get muddy — gardening with kids is dirty and fun!

Donate food items to a food bank in your area. As the holidays approach, food banks are often strapped for supplies.

Make a pumpkin pie with your kids. Have extra filling? Add it to a smoothie with some yogurt.

Go bobbing for apples. Fill a tub with apples and see if you can get one with your teeth. Afterwards, make candy apples as a treat to enjoy with your kids.

Make s’mores on the patio with your kids — use a solar oven to warm them. Try experimenting and adding extra ingredients to your s’mores like berries or bananas.

Make your own apple cider by adding cinnamon sticks, nutmeg and honey to juiced apples (if possible, get fresh pressed juice)!

Churn your own butter — this is a fun activity for a kiddo who loves to move!

Play games during a bike ride. Use Chalk to create start and end points on a race or to make an obstacle course of sorts for your kids to weave through.

Make popcorn balls. Ooey-gooey caramel popcorn balls shout “fall is coming” to me. These are one of our kids’ favorite fall traditions.

Go camping in your own backyard with a DIY PVC pipe Tent.

Take a collection of leaves and make leaf skeletons — soak the leaves in washing soda until the chloroform disintegrates and you are left with the leaf structure.

Go on a hayride — we love to visit the local orchard, pick apples, and go on a hayride.

Practice fractions as you chop up apples and mix ingredients while baking an Apple Pie with kids.

Take crayons and some of your favorite leaves and layer the leaves between pages of paper. Rub on the pages with a crayon to see the leaf pattern emerge.

Set a pumpkin outdoors and journal about the pumpkin’s decomposition as it rots. Be sure to take pictures of the pumpkin in its various stages.

After you prune your trees, chop up the logs and the twigs, clean them off and bring them inside to make tree blocks.

Bake pumpkin seeds. I love carving out our pumpkins each year and using the guts to create a magnesium-rich snack for the kids and I to enjoy.

Make Jack-o-lanterns from items in the recycle bin, orange paint and black foam stickers.

Feed the birds with a kid-made bird feeder craft using toilet paper tubes or pine cones, peanut butter and seed.

Make Candy Corn Cookies — Layer three colors of sugar cookie dough and follow these instructions to make your own wedged treats.

Do a Halloween craft with your kids. Here are a more than dozen projects you can create with your kids.

Create your own costume for Halloween! Here are some simple costumes you can make with your kids.

Go trick-or-treating with your children. We love saying hi to all our neighbors!

For a fun kids activity, have your kids carve your own arrowheads using a bar of soap.

Make your own candles by dipping yarn into wax — this is a great stormy afternoon craft activity for the kids.

Fun Halloween Kids Activity — Make Eerie sounds! All you need is a plastic cup, a paperclip, string (wool is best) and a piece of paper towel.

Spooky and slimy sensory — with spaghetti?!? Dye some spaghetti bright orange and dark black, add a bit of veggie oil so they are extra slimy and have fun squishing and squeezing!

Have fun with food and the kids — Make a Snakey Jello. This activity uses jell-o (Jelly for UK folks) and toy snakes for some squishy fun.

Have turkey races! This is a fun Thanksgiving day activity.

Do some simple Kitchen Science experiments with the leftover Trick-or-Treating candy.

Bake a batch of pumpkin Chocolate Chip cookies — this recipe is a loved favorite of more than one quirky family!

Spend the afternoon at a bookstore researching a project for the winter months.

Afternoon craft activity — Make matching scarves for you and your daughter to enjoy together. Here is a collection of no-sew scarves you can make in an afternoon.

Stuff old clothes to create a scarecrow for your front yard — a children’s Thanksgiving craft.

Bake apple chips. Thinly slice apples, spray them with oil and sprinkle cinnamon and sugar on them. Bake them in the oven till they are crispy.

This is a great family craft for Thanksgiving, make a thankful tree detailing all the things you are thankful for this past year.

Do you have a fall bucket list?

Share your fun fall activities over on our Facebook page!

The post 50 Activities for Autumn appeared first on Kids Activities Blog.

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