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Bro….

I fear I will not be getting over this EVER literally shaking and trembling rn BEOMGYU?!’&hNJGU BEOMGYU CENTRE DANCE BREAK AND HE FINALLY HAD FUCKING LINES ??!! WE’RE SEEING A CHANGE FOR THE WORLD OH YM FUCKINNG GOD THE SONG IS BETTER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS IM LITERALLY SCREECHING IVE WATCHED IT LIKE 10 TIMES ITS 7AM AND I WATCHED IT ON MY TV AND BLASTED THAT SHIT I WAS LITERALLY CRYUNG LIKE OMFG THEY ALL DID SO WELL THE DANCING ?!!?^€$ I WAS SCREAMING HUENING KAI!?$*£) TAEHYUNHJJJNn THEY ALL DID SO WELL AND THEIR SINGING OMFG IM SO PROUD OF THEM

Nico talking about Yoga and Pilates (I think)

❗️NEWGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSAN-

goodnight dork

Do you think if I wish hard enough my mom will get electrocuted by a string of Christmas lights and just go up in a cloud of smoke. It’d be a Christmas miracle

I hope I'm like you when I grow up

hey i just wanted to thank you for escam. i know youre like done with uploading it but you were one of the only things keeping me on there for a while. which i guess im also thanking you for stopping

Glad you liked it! It makes me really really happy that it had a positive impact on a few people. I kinda cringe looking back at it, it was full of spelling mistakes and inconsistencies and really odd narrative choices (holyyy shit the fig tree motif that was supposed to be a core thing was poorly brought up and feels so out of place reading back) but it was my first attempt of actually writing character dialogue and an overarching story. TikTok is EVILL I can’t believe how shitty I felt about myself due to a few comments saying it was mediocre like yeah duh it was my first attempt writing something that wasn’t an essay for school! Of course it wasn’t perfect!!! Why is it a crime to not have professional level work for a hobby. That app is super cruel to beginners, the “art lore” stuff there that’s just bullying kids for being bad at anatomy is super malicious. But despite that scrambling to post videos during lunch in the middle of a noisy cafeteria while also prepping for a math test is memories I cherish lol. It’s kind of annoying that I think the thing I’ll be most remembered for are my characters that I developed as an edgy teenager since I’m not really planning on sharing more of my stories publicly but it makes me super thrilled that people found value in it. Okay okay sorry I’m rambling I just get excited when people willingly read my work. It makes me feel like a 5th grader discussing my warrior cat ocs during recess again. I’m glad you deleted TikTok that place rots the mind and soul.

FOUND HEAVEN ALBUM RANKINGS 💫🖤💛🎬

1. The Final Fight

2. Killing Me

3. Eye Of The Night

4. Found Heaven

5. Bourgeoisieses

6. Miss You

7. Winner

8. Alley Rose

9. Fainted Love

10. Forever With Me

11. Lonely Dancers

12. Boys & Girls

13. Never Ending Song

.

Aodicjsndkksjjsjfjemwkdociiwjdjie

Yes I’m a mess is SO FUCKING GOOD LIKE-

THWT WNDING OMFG IT SCRATCHES MY BRAIN DO GOOD LIKE I LOVE IT ILL BE LISTENING TO IT OJ REPEAY UNTIL FIRTHER NOTICE I WILL FO ABSOLUTELY *INSANE* WHEN THOS WHOLE ALBUM COMES OOT

If you haven’t heard it already and you like ajr then FUCKING DO IT OPEN SPOTIFY RIGHT FUCKINF NOW

I am once again thinking about the song ‘seventeen’ & how ‘our love is god’ & ‘dead girl walking’ are easy to hail as the most romantic jdronica songs & in a way they are because they’re about the raw passion & love between the characters & ‘our love is god’ especially really drills in how willing jd is to do anything for veronica but ‘seventeen’ is perhaps the most tragic song in the entire show

like ‘don’t you want a life with me? can we be seventeen?’ it’s about how they’re damaged but could still have a chance. ‘yeah we’re damaged but your love’s too good to lose’ is such a painful line because they could have healed together they could have moved forward. this is probably the last moment in the play where there’s a chance at a happy ending for them. but even now there’s not really a chance because veronica is deluding herself about just how damaged jd really is & jd is in desperate need of help veronica is incapable of giving & in a way it’s actually her love that corrupts him because he was suppressing everything until he met her as we see in ‘meant to be yours’ when he says ‘you changed my heart & set loose all that truthful shit inside.’

like. I know it’s a comedy but heathers is such a tragedy

Being a good person doesn’t meant taking shit laying down btw.

Like I think just in general, people think staying quiet about how they’ve been treated to avoid ‘drama’ is the best solution and I’m telling you it’s not.

Absolutely be loud about it. Point it out. Confront them. How they react is out of your control but at least you said what you needed to say.

I’ve been shushed before. Someone who I thought was a friend really hurt me, betrayed me. It was like a slap in the face, and all because I was going through my own shit and didn’t have time to be there 100%.

And it sucked, how I kind of had to swallow my hurt. How a lot of my ‘friends’ knew it was shitty of them but because they didn’t wanna cause drama they didn’t say anything. No one did a god damn thing and it’s really something when you see an abuser get love and praise and be treated like they are this wonderful person when they aren’t.

And true, you can’t make everyone see it. I know they will eventually, and it’s not my job to point it out for everyone. And I won’t. But at that time? It absolutely hurt me, and I started to look at things differently. Look at people differently. And it left me shambles for a good while.

I would rant about it and people would ask me to stop. Or to tag it. Because they didn’t wanna see it. And that’s valid? But also? Why is it you can only accept me when I’m showing my good side? The side of me that’s put together and makes you laugh and keeps you entertained but when I’m hurting you want me to take it elsewhere.

Started making me look at ppl on here who only look at you like a number. I know we all are going through our own shit. I don’t expect ppl to drop everything and help me, I don’t expect ppl to care. If I vent it’s usually just for myself to let off steam and it helps . But yet, somehow there’s always someone that makes it about them.

Therapy has helped me a lot with creating boundaries. I realized a lot of the things that happened where my own fault due to, seeing the issues but not saying anything about them. And also how I make myself to readily available for people. I was there for that person for so much, even bought them food when they were hungry and couldn’t for themselves. I don’t regret it, I don’t regret caring or having a good heart. No natter what I never want to lose that side of me that gives a damn about people.

I do the things I do because I’ve been there. I offer a safe space , a fun space for you to be yourself . Because I know what it’s like to have to hide. Show ppl how to love themselves because I had to learn on my own. I am an empath, I feel everything and I sometimes go overboard because I don’t have the proper boundaries set up. But I’m much more aware now. Learning and trying to be more effective in my communication.

But it makes me sad when you do call out bad behavior and instead of people looking at themselves and saying ‘you know I’m sorry I did screw up, I’m going to do better’ they deny. They gaslight you. They bring up everything YOUVE done wrong to them instead of acknowledging what you’re bringing to their attention. Suddenly they are the victim and you’re the bully being aggressive because they can’t tell the difference between an aggressive tone and an assertive one.

And it sucks that you’ll deal with people who can’t see anything past their own pain. Cuz there is no dealing with that, that’s shit they gotta work on and unfortunately they gotta be willing to look at themselves in the mirror and start seeing the truth.

We all got flaws. I had to look myself in the mirror, and see a lot of things I didn’t like either. Things that needed changing. That’s maturing. Recognizing you’re not perfect, that you do fuck up, and being willing to accept and change it.

But a lot of ppl on here not ready for that. And the moment I’ve started my healing journey I’ve lost a lot of people who aren’t built like me. Whether it’s because I make them see things in themselves that they don’t like, or think they can’t ever be or what it’s not really my problem anymore.

I’ve been stagnant for so long, I want things out of my life and for the first time in my life despite setback after setback I feel like I finally start getting them. I can respect people who aren’t ready to heal, but I can’t stay in those situations anymore. I wish you luck on your own path, but I’m done putting myself on hold for others all the time.

You’re not wrong for wanting to hold people accountable. There are always limits of course. Say your piece and be done, don’t keep adding fuel to it. How they react remember is out of your hands but you did what you needed to do. People say closure is pointless and I say you obviously learned to just not act on your discomfort and just bottle it up and to me that’s sad.

Because we shouldn’t have to do that for the sake of someone’s comfort who had no regard for ours.

And I am confrontational. I’m a nice person but I will come to you with an issue if there is one. And there’s nothing wrong with that, one mistake doesn’t make you horrible. Makes you human. Changed behavior means you’re growing and learning. It’s not a bad thing and I wish tumblr would stop viewing this stuff as bad. Because it’s so important to be able to grow and it’s why so many people suck because no one is really trying to do that.

I wish I had friends near meeeeeee to distract me from my brainnnnnnnnnn

OK WELL.

1. leela is so fucking loyal she’d do anything for romana but also for the team but also she’s so suicidal still she doesn’t think it would make a difference if she wasn’t there oh god.

2. narvin’s “cut the jokes this is serious” attitude is really sweet and sad and hurting my feelings

3. i can only imagine she’s gently cupping his cheek toward the end there and i’m crying hard

4. I WILL FIND OUR FRIEND ROMANA AND I WILL BRING HER BACK TO US. GET THEM OUT OF THERE ANNOS AND BRING THEM BACK TO ME.