#god that i don't believe in help me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bi-moonlight · 1 year

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#nura rambles #fuck me up i fucked up aaaaaaa i omg i can't #i was so sure he's gay like it was out of question for me if he's queer and i while rambling about the book i've read and me not rememberin #when i realized i'm bi and i just casually asked him do u remember? when u realised u r gay? and he replied w i'm straight omg i lost #ability to speak or think at that moment tbh i was stunned to silence like surprised cause what?? embarrassed cause i assumed his sexuality #and it was insensitive of me?? and also i was shocked because it's the same person i have a squish on??? and now i'm like??? so is it a cl #crush after all??? crisis mate i'm in crisis #and i didn't have the chance to apologise for if i made it awkward and like for assuming and stuff and now i don't know if i should wait #till tmrw to say it in person or text him today #and i told my friend about this and she was like what u r probably the first person to ask him that straight forward lmao and now i'm #worrying if telling her was somehow wrong but like it's not outing it's literally the opposite #i'm so confused for real #wtf #and he said he thinks he might be ace??#god that i don't believe in help me #okay i texted him we'll see what he says to my apology🥺

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fortes-fortuna-iogurtum · 1 year

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I've been reading Exodus lately and I've just gotten to the portions where God gives the first commands to the people via Moses (twice), and then goes on to give detailed instructions about the tabernacle and how it should be built, and I'm just... we think art is unimportant?? we think things only mean as much as their functionality?? we so easily fall into the trap of believing that beauty means nothing, that it's cheap and only worth whatever mindless distraction it brings, that it's barely more than a cheap sensual thrill, that buildings should just be practical and plain and cheap, that everything should be functional but ultimately disposable, that paintings and dresses and mugs and curtains and carpets are just pretty but have no real value, that beauty is fleeting and vain and therefore shouldn't be thought about too much, if even looked for at all... we fall into these traps so easily, and we forget that there are chapters upon chapters of painstakingly detailed plans to build one portable worship tent, and those plans have been handed down through thousands of years of human history, because beauty and art and skill in craft is important

#I have to go get ready for work now but I will come back to this #and don't even get me started on the parts about God calling specific craftsmen *by name*#he called them!! by name!!! he said 'this man is good at his job. he creates beautiful work. he will build my temple and make it beautiful'#and even more--God inspired him!!!! it was a calling of GOD for him to create beautiful carvings and tapestries and candlesticks!!!#look even if you're not jewish or christian or religious at all you have GOT to see what it means that all these incredibly detailed plans #for building this tent-temple are extremely important #because even if you don't believe in God and don't think that this is all significant bc he personally gave the instructions #and then helped preserve this record of them so we could still read them today #you do have to see how important they were to the people of that time who first wrote them down #and the extreme care that was taken to record all of those detail #AND the fact that it's been preserved for so long and we can still read all the care that was put into creating this incredible piece #of artwork and worship they made #gurt says stuff #I just. gahhfhhfj. I'm feeling emotional about chapters of the Bible that I can't even fully force myself to pay attention to #bc there's so MUCH and I'm bad at visualizing this stuff and I tend to zone out while listening to it #but the fact that it IS that much!!! that there SO MUCH DETAIL and it goes on for SO LONG that I even struggle to pay attention!!!#that this was THAT IMPORTANT to the people who wrote it and to God!!! as an artist and someone who has always cared about art #this means so much to me ok #christianity #bible verse #bible thoughts #exodus #art #theology

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rqg179 · 9 days

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i will say though that brennan revealing last episode that kipperlilly has been going to guidance counsellor for anger issues since freshman year has absolutely ruined me for seeing her as actually evil. i cannot believe that a teenage girl with anger issues is irredeemably evil i just can't

#i believe that she's an antagonist and that she kind of sucks as a person but i just don't think she's evil #yes i know she killed another teenager this episode but like. still #if aelwyn 'kidnapped 7 teenage girls killed the former elven oracle and helped bring a dragon back to take over elmville' abernant can have #an incredibly touching & emotionally resonant redemption arc then so can kipperlilly 'killed at least one possibly two clerics' copperkettl #currently i'm choosing to believe that the ratgrinders have been manipulated into this by someone else #(jace stardiamond and porter cliffbreaker i'm fucking watching you)#i mean cmon you can't tell me 'this teenage girl has anger issues that she has been getting help for for 3 years'#and not expect me to think she was a prime target for manipulation by agents of a dead god of rage and justice #kipperlilly copperkettle get behind me i'll protect you #i still think she sucks and the bad kids have every right to hate her! especially after this episode jesus fucking christ!#it's just that i will simultaneously lay down my life in her defense now. brennan cmon don't let me down #my post #d20 #fantasy high #fhjy

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aesopsharpmybeloved · 10 months

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"Come back to bed, my sweet."

#hogwart legacy #aesop sharp #professor sharp #fanart #hogwarts legacy fanart #aesop sharp fanart #digital art #digital drawing #my art #i can't believe i did it #i actually finished it #i don't hate it #in fact I'm pretty bloody ecstatic!#first time trying krita #help me god this man has an emergency case of 'f*** me eyes'#artists on tumblr

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reuptakeinhibitor · 4 months

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i love stobin working retail jobs and sharing a resume so much but consider this. steve follows robin to bloomington, indianapolis, west lafayette, wherever she decides to go and they get a little apartment. maybe they decide to go out of state but i think they stay in the midwest. then st takes a page from buffy and steve works construction while robin goes to school.

#i think this would play nicely into him believing he's not smart #and robin's like “what? you built my desk all by yourself. i don't know anyone else who'd be able to do that.”#“and you fixed mrs. robinson's fence just last week! that little dog of hers was always getting out and digging holes in her rose garden.”#and she reassures him that all those things require skill and important and HE'S important #and he believes her a little more every time he hears her say it :)#the day she learns about gardner's theory of multiple intelligences she can barely contain herself #she's so excited to tell steve she doesn't even get the car door closed before she's blurting it out #like “GUESS WHAT 😳”#and maybe he gets a little misty but he saves the tears for later when he can really think about how much he's loved and how they're both o #and living the life they both want because they built it together!!!!#anyway . . .#i swear this was just supposed to be a post about steve being hot #but that kinda got away from me #i could go on and on about them #steve harrington #robin buckley #stobin #god help me i'm scared to have my post In The Tags but i must maintain tag consistency for my blog #also i remember very little about buffy #this is a stranger things post #*and ARE important #*they're both OK #i haaaate typos in tags but i'm not writing all that again

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dirtytransmasc · 4 months

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I can't put it into words, I have tried many times and failed, but the relationship between theon and asha means everything and more to me.

#(this post is based solely off the show)#he's her baby brother!#he means the world and more to her #ever since he looked up at her that night in his crib he's been something that means more to her than her own life #she would do anything for him #and their dynamic post ramsay is so interesting #cause like. they don't really believe in mental health on the iron isles. its tough it out or die.#so she has no idea how to really help theon after everything he's been through. but she was gonna try god dammit. because he's her baby #even though she offers him the idea of offing himself. its obvious that's not at all what she wants. she wants him back.#she wants him to be ok. she wants to stop seeing him so scared and miserable #she doesn't know how to fix it but she wants to and all she knows how to do is force him to tough it out #but it so clearly comes from a place of love and worry #and just... ahhhhhh #she's really like: my baby my baby you’re my baby say it to me #but like... in a bigger tougher scary big sister way... if that makes sense #they're driving me crazy. I want to go home. I need to sit down #asha greyjoy #yara greyjoy #theon greyjoy #got #game of thrones #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire

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tankgotstuckinthecircusgate · 6 days

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i could draw anything but i decided to draw this. carlo and rocco in 1932 aka my headache

#^ this isnt real ofc but its what happening inside their heads (well in carlo's at least)#mfs when their old friend doesn't break under manipulation #“Lift up the receiver I'll make you a believer” punching the wall with fist #rocco was the underboss not eddie can u hear me!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!!!!!! (capo henry situation in terms of complexity)#no m2 did smth to my brain and now im incapable of writing normal relationship between people #anyway. things that makes sense only to me rn unfortunately:#“AND YET ALAS I WELCOME YOU KNOWING ABOUT YOU” its carlo @ rocco but works both ways i think. RAHHHHHHHHH #YET YOU THINK WE'RE THE SAME RAHHHHHHHHH #youre not who u are to anyone these days im not who i am to anyone no not me at all these days not at all RAHHHHHHHHH #carlo who was afraid of rocco (for a reason) when he started to run the family rahhhhhhhhh #“That son of a bitch!.. I fuckin’ knew it!” <-watch me put a lot more meaning into a phrase that shouldn't make so much sense #2kczech need to pay me for developing rocco's character btw if u even care . and for writing this fucking falcone family backstory #“Холодный и острый осколок гранита; Смерть Голиафа в руке Давида”#<- “A cold and sharp shard of granite; Goliath's death in David's hand”#i've listened to this song too much it became certifed rocco song to me #let's say rocco helped carlo a lot w preparing moretti family for a new don. just bc i don't think it was this simple #“your capo killed your don lets all pretend that its cool and normal and it doesn't matter that he ran the family for 23 years😋😘”#avart #m2 #i wont tag this w fandom tags dear god this shit is so delusional #dear god rocco been a gap and a blank spot in this story for so long but now i genuinely like him #tho i'm still not done with his character yet but there's enough for me to like him #sorry. not normal bout them. not at all .#rocco & carlo

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cherrywhite · 7 months

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So I was going to write this whole thing about Faulkner and how a lot of his character is, at least to me, built on this despairing loneliness and isolation. That part of it stems from having been abandoned by his father and brother (a father that never looked him in the eye, a brother that never came back like he promised). That that loneliness feeds into his desire for a place to belong, to no longer be alone, but its since been twisted into this want for prestige (because there's that rationalization: if he were special, if he had the title and accolades then he'd have had to have made his place somewhere right? Make a home somewhere?). And that's why it was so easy to betray Carpenter the way he did, to weigh it in his hands....

.... but every time I tried to sit down and write coherent, concise thoughts it spiraled into something incomprehensible (see above). BUT I still want to talk about it because this podcast makes me so ill every other Thursday.

#the silt verses #listen. do you see my vision.#faulkner strikes me as someone who knows who he is but needs to prove it to others. needs to save face. is afraid of showing his mistakes #sometimes I'll see ppl say they hate faulkner and I'm like nooo you don't deserve him #listen i firmly believe ppl are allowed to feel whatever way about whichever character #AND YET.....#like if you're struggling to understand his character i feel like this reading helps contextualize a lot of his actions #he's not someone who wants power for power's sake #but rather needs to be accepted and loved but only sees the possibility through power. through being special #the trawlerman as a god that walked beside him when he was lonely and hurting and chose him for a reason #but there's a reason why he no longer prayed to him like he used to in s2 isn't there?

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bumblingbabooshka · 1 year

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Why is B’Elanna Torres the cutest girl in the world?

#she's adorable....IMMEDIATELY she's like 'THIS ROBOT'S GONNA DIE IF I CAN'T HELP IT!!!!' and everyone around her's like B'Elanna....whocares #Hehehehhe nooo they're being sweeter than that #Harry-B'Elanna and Neelix-B'Elanna moments at the start were V sweet <3 #Harry being annoyed and tired but still willing to stay there and work with her if she wanted him to #Also Harry/B'Elanna should have been a thing. Harry says in season 2 what Tom didn't know until B'Elanna was LITERALLY breaking up with him #when she got so excited she just ran out of the medbay while still theorizing <3<3 #when she smiledsobig and shyly at being complimented by the robot <3<3 #Also LOVE Chakotay saying 'Tom!!!! Don't go alone it'll be dangerous.....for the shuttle :)'#I fucking love how everyone on Voyager's trying desperately to save B'Elanna and the robots are threatening to kill her and the crew #but B'Elanna and this robot are kinda just chilling and being cute friends together...god I hope they don't die #'I believe you can do it B'Elanna Torres.' / 'Hey! Don't send me flowers just yet >)'#'we did it!!! We actually DID IT~!!!!!' / 'YOU did it B'Elanna Torres.'#This robot is B'Elanna's biggest hypeman get him on the ship #OOOOHHHH I LOVE THAT LAST SECOND PLOT TWIST~!!!!!!#YEEEAAAH B'ELANNA MAD SCIENTIST EPISODE~!!!!!#'My GOD what have I done????' <- sexiest thing a woman can say v_v #I love no harm no foul episodes where it's just like 'hmmm WELL!'#episodes where something weird happens and will probably just keep on happening somewhere in space #B'Elanna Torres

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todayisafridaynight · 5 months

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a bit late to the driving discussion but i cant even imagine the amount of road rage mine experiences everyday, i think being in a car with him would be terrifying

let me play contrarian and say the real stress of being in the same car as mine is that he probably does 80 in a 60 mph zone while talking on the phone

#snap chats #aka me 🥴 just the speeding part no one ever calls me <3 #no but LISTEN you mean to tell me he drives a sports car and doesn't rev that bitch down the highway. yes he does #there's a bunch of jackasses in my area with sports cars and they ALWAAYS have to make everyone know theyre driving one #WE GET IT YOUR PENIS IS SMALL STOP REVVING THE SHIT IN A SCHOOL ZONE #if anyone's getting road rage it's cause this motherfucker whipping and weaving. i do not believe he uses turn signals #i don't think he's a blinker user NO THAT'S ONE OF THE TESTS OF HUMANITY LOWKEY TO BE OFF TOPIC #there's putting the shopping cart back after using it and whether you use your blinkers or not #i dont think mine uses his just cause he's goin so fuckin fast so why bother #myyyyy god i was driving yesterday and the amount of jackasses that Do Not. Use Blinkers. killing you immediately #FUCK WHAT PART OF THE US JUST NEVER USES BLINKERS I FORGET. SOMEWHERE IN THE SOUTH I THINK CAUSE OFC #point is use your blinkers it helps everyone including yourself it is NOT HARD

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astrxealis · 6 months

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hi guys please wish me luck for my college entrance exam tomorrow for one of my dream schools xoxo

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#LET'S GOOO MGA PAREH 💙🦅💙🦅💙🦅💙🦅#i'm so chill for some reason even if ik i will never forgive myself if i don't get in. anyway. manifesting!!! i will pass with flying colors #IT'S REAL DAMN STRESSFUL FOR ME bcs i am aiming for honors courses which means i have to be top 15%... i am top 15% (and higher) in my batch #in school anyway but... urgh...#so. yeah. give me all your best wishes thankyousomuchxoxo AHHEHEHWHSHFJAH sobbing (but fr. if you do. i really appreciate it!!)#i believe in myself :] mostly. the time limit scares me and math and abstract reasoning bcs 5 minutes for 30 items but yeah. okay.#i am Smart ..... bro i literally got perfect on my physics exam and got 100 in statistics (i am really proud of these in particular)#my extracurriculars are good !! all my math scores are insane (cue a math nerd) and science (science nerd) english (god. no explanation #needed) honestly every subject is slay and so is my essay-making but ERGH. honors course... top 15%...#i will try to be chill! honestly i am already lol the nerves aren't getting to me somehow. gl to me and all that i know and do not know.#both here and irl :3 also to fellow ph kids (who are most likely younger than me if they aren't older and yk not worrying abt cets anymore #LMFAO) err idk if . okay idk what i was going to say LMFAO anyway i'm busy af and idk if i'm good with teaching others #but if you ever want any tips from me (honestly i don't really have tips. i do what i do and just make it. but there's a lot involved there)#feel free to come to me for anything ^_^ anything at all tbh. doesn't have to be acads idk i like helping others in general. BUT IT DEPENDS.#but yeah just hmu whatever i will have you know i am genuinely a smart & responsible kid and i am proud of that bcs my family is amazing w #smarts but also the Hard Work is there so :3 !! english is my forte science is my forte math is my forte. also socsci and whatever tbh.#i'm probably insane but i genuinely love all those topics and what we learn in school FISHFK so yeah !!! okay i shut up now #will do my best... zzz... and then i will work on myself. to be better than i already am and even better than i could possibly be. ya. fun!#the mga pareh is a joke btw i like imitating filipino kids like that. like yooo mga pareh let's goooooo wahee!!!!!

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fortes-fortuna-iogurtum · 4 months

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(btw if this semester for me was to be titled like a YA novel, it would be something like "The Year I Accidentally Became a Stoic and Also Channeled St. Augustine")

#emotions are great. wish I could feel them again. without worrying that every single time I do it's probably sin =D #I literally cannot RELAX UGHHHH #and there are things happening at home that I don't understand and that aren't helping make it easier to talk to my parents #and reach out for help.#I pray basically all the time. I just try to trust that God's in control. actually I kind of have to trust that #and that to wish things were different might be wrong. because if God has ordained this and it is his will then it would be sin for me #to desire anything else.#(that may not quite be true but I'm not sure of very much at all anymore. I'm just very tired and believing that it has to be this way keep #me going.)

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frootbyethefoot · 7 months

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oh adiris you're a greek tragedy

[ID: a digital photo of adiris from dead by daylight. the background is black, aside from three bright red outlines of the entity's claw. adiris is also coated in a very heavy red hue. she is kneeling down and is holding her hands together in a prayer. she's looking up and looks incredibly sad. END ID/]

#adiris' lore is so so good #but MAN is it sad #me when i build my entire life around the approval and love of a god that i cannot even begin to fathom #me when im manipulated into doing horrible things and am made to believe im helping my people and family #when really they've been dead for who knows how long #man. anyways shes everything i would want out of a black vale focused killer #..which makes sense since i think? its implied her group were the start of the black vale! hm!#still want a black vale chapter though.#dead by daylight #dbd #dead by daylight fanart #the plague #adiris #dbd fanart #tw gore #gore #hesitant to tag this as body horror. i don't think it counts but if it does lmk #joeys art #image described

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sylvia-de-silva · 5 months

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Reem, Reem

Soul of my soul

I weep no tears for you.

Love was always too weak

a word; and still God loved you

more than I; it's why

he called you from my arms,

so soon; just long

enough for a window,

into my Paradise; yet

not long enough to let

the world hurt you

any more than it has done.

Reem, Reem

light of my heart; I rejoice

for it will never be you

who bears this hurt

this agony, this world,

He loves you so much

He could never bear to

see you in pain for His glory

the way I am blessed to suffer.

I praise His name,

prostrate with gratitude,

I am in a grief glorious

for this gift of His love,

of your love, this howling love,

these hallowed flames

this blessing of a love

that would hurt this much.

Reem, Reem,

my angel on earth,

now you are one in Heaven.

God sings you lullabies

sweeter than I ever could,

cradles you more gently

than I ever would,

Spirited you into

an eternal dream

softer than I could ever

spin you.

Reem, Reem,

I know my tears

broke your little heart, you

never could stand to see them.

So I try to not let them fall.

But darling, if I fail,

don't be sad;

These are glad tears,

patient tears, blessed tears,

knowing because of you

my love for God is stronger

His shield over my soul truer;

that a love that gave me you,

will never keep us apart,

for longer than I can endure

Tw: video of small dead child cradled by grandfather in Gaza under the cut. In an interview he called her "the soul of my soul".

#my poetry #this is pretty bad but it was the only thing that helped me stop crying #i'll never get that video out of my head #i don't believe in god but that old gentleman did so deeply #i can't help believing too #hurting like this means we still have human hearts #the way those israeli monsters never will #becoming an abomination unto humanity is much worse than loss #free palestine #spilled ink

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not-so-superheroine · 7 days

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deseret book is more persistent than duolingo.

i ordered 2 books for a church research project on Black saints in the early Church and also in the Reorganization, on which the one book had a small section us and all had info from the our shared early church history, and it was an ebook too!

and i get physical mail from them once a month. i have no idea how to cancel.

herald house, the community of christ publishing house, contacts me much less, and i buy books from them all the time.

and oh their church book app reminds me to read my scriptures and the words of their prophets regularly if it's not in sleep mode.

i have to admire the effort behind it, ngl.