Here are two of the most hilariously scalding letters from the 1800s that I have ever read. One is by the famous writer Lord Byron, and the other is by his daughter Ada Lovelace, the famous mathematician. Both are written to their respective business partners: Byron to his publisher John Murray, and Lovelace to her colleague Charles Babbage. It’s interesting to note how strikingly similar these letters are despite the fact that Ada and her father never knew each other, as her parents separated shortly after her birth and he died abroad when she was eight. Both were rebellious, fond of gambling, prone to tumultuous affairs, and both hated Lady Byron. These similarities may help to explain why her final wish was to be buried next to him instead of her family.
Lord Byron in a Letter to his publisher John Murray about the printing of his magnum opus, the poem Don Juan:
“Ra. August 31st. 1821.
Dear Sir
I have received the Juans – which are printed so carelessly especially the 5th. Canto – as to be disgraceful to me — & not creditable to you.
It really must be gone over again with the Manuscript – the errors are so gross – words added – changed – so as to make cacophony & nonsense. — You have been careless of this poem because some of your Synod don’t approve of it – but I tell you – it will be long before you see any thing half so good as poetry or writing. — Upon what principle have you omitted the note on Bacon & Voltaire? and one of the concluding stanzas sent as an addition? because it ended I suppose – with –
‘And do not link two virtuous souls for life Into that moral Centaur man & wife?’
Now I must say once for all – that I will not permit any human being to take such liberties with my writings – because I am absent. —
I desire the omissions to be replaced (except the stanza on Semiramis) particularly the stanza upon the Turkish marriages – and I request that the whole be carefully gone over with the M.S.S. –
I never saw such stuff as is printed – Gulleyaz – instead of Gulbeyaz &c. Are you aware that Gulbeyaz is a real name – and the other nonsense? – I copied the Cantos out carefully – so that there is no excuse – as the Printer reads or at least prints the M.S.S. of the plays without error. —
If you have no feeling for your own reputation pray have some little for mine. — I have read over the poem carefully – and I tell you it is poetry – Your little envious knot of parson-poets may say what they please — time will show that I am not in this instance mistaken. — Desire my friend Hobhouse to correct the press especially of the last Canto from the Manuscript – as it is – it is enough to drive one out of one’s senses – to see the infernal torture of words from the original. – For instance the line
‘And pair their rhymes as Venus yokes her doves’
Is printed
‘and praise their rhymes &c. –
also ‘precarious’ for ‘precocious’ – and this line. stanza 133.
‘And this strong extreme effect – to tire no longer’
Now do turn to the Manuscript – & see – if I ever made such a line – it is not verse. —
No wonder the poem should fail – (which however it wont you will see) with such things allowed to creep about it. – – Replace what is omitted – – & correct what is so shamefully misprinted, – and let the poem have fair play – – and I fear nothing. — I see in the last two Numbers of the Quarterly – a strong itching to assail me (see the review of the “Etonian”) let it – and see if they shan’t have enough of it. – – I don’t allude to Gifford – who has always been my friend – & whom I do not consider as responsible for the articles written by others. – But if I do not give Mr. Milman – Mr. Southey – & others of the crew something that shall occupy their dream! I am not what I was – that is all
I have not begun with the Quarterers – but let them look to it. – As for Milman (you well know I have not been unfair to his poetry ever) but I have lately had some information of his critical proceedings in the Quarterly which may bring that on him which he will be sorry for. – I happen to know that of him – Which would annihilate him – when he pretends to preach morality – not that he is immoral – because he isn’t – having in early life been once too much so. – And dares he set up for a preacher? let him go and be priest to Cybele. – why let
You will publish the plays – when ready — I am in such a humour about this printing of D.J. so inaccurately – that I must close this.
yrs. [scrawl]
P.S. I presume that you have not lost the stanza to which I allude? it was sent afterwards look over my letters – & find it. The Notes you can’t have lost – you acknowledged them – they included eight or little corrections of Bacon’s mistakes in the apothegms. – And now I ask once more if such liberties taken in a man’s absence – are fair or praise-worthy? – As for you you have no opinions of your own – & never had – but are blown about by the last thing said to you no matter by whom.”
[Separate page]
“Dear Sir
The enclosed letter is written in bad humour – but not without provocation. -
However – let it (that is the bad humour) go for little – but I must request your serious attention to the abuses of the printer which ought never to have been permitted. – You forget that all the fools in London (the chief purchasers of your publications) will condemn in me the stupidity of your printer. — For instance in the Notes to Canto fifth – ‘the Adriatic shore of the Bosphorus – instead of the Asiatic!! – All this may seem little to you – so fine a gentleman with your ministerial connections – but it is serious to me – who am thousands of miles off & have no opportunity of not proving myself the fool yr. printer makes me – except your pleasure & leisure forsooth.
The Gods prosper you — & forgive you, for I wont.
B.”
Ada Lovelace in a letter to her work partner Charles Babbage, who she helped invent the computer with:
“Tuesday Afternoon [1 August 1843] Ockham
. . . Note B has plagued me to death; altho' I have made but little alteration in it. Such alterations as there are however, happen to have been very tiresome & to have demanded minute consideration & very nice adjustments.
It is a very excellent Note.
I wish you were as accurate, & as much to be relied on, as I am myself. You might often save me much trouble, if you were; whereas you in reality add to my trouble not infrequently; and there is at any rate always the anxiety of doubting if you will not get me into a scrape; even when you don't.
By the way, I hope you do not take upon yourself to alter any of my corrections.
I must beg you not. They all have some very sufficient reason. And you have made a pretty mess & confusion in one or two places (which I will show you sometime), where you have ventured in my M.S's, to insert or alter a phrase or word; & have utterly muddled the sense.
I could not conceive at first in one or two places what had happened to my sentences; tho' I soon saw they were patchwork & not my own; and found it so, on referring to the M.S. I fear you will think this a very cross letter. Never mind. I am a good little thing, after all. Yours ever
A. A. L.
Later. P. S. It is impossible to send you anything but Notes B and C; (& this partly owing to some wrong references & blunderations of your own). — Do not be afraid, for I will work like the Devil early tomorrow morning. —“
[Separate Page]
“Wednesday, 4 o'clock [2 August 1843] Ockham
After working almost incessantly, since 7 o'clock this morning, until I am forced to give in from sheer inability to apply longer, I find only the sheet I enclose is quite completed. I shall however send a servant up tomorrow morning by a ten o' clock train, to take you all the rest; so that you will have it almost as soon as this letter.
You cannot conceive the trouble I have had with the trigonometrical Note E. — In fact no one but me, I really believe, would have doggedly stuck to it, as I have been doing, in all wearing minutiae.
I am very uneasy at not hearing from you, as I have expected to do both yesterday & today; & fear some disaster or other. I hope all of Note G is forthcoming; & I also hope you have received all my communications safely.
I think you had better do the second revise of the translation for me. If you will compare it carefully with my first revise, it can hardly be necessary I think for me to go over it again.
I suppose I ought to take it for granted that no news is good news; but I am in a sad fidget. — Yours ever
A. L.”
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1, 15, and 37?
1. 3 things you wish for
a reliable source of income
more time to write
a new tattoo
15. 3 quotes that have a special place in your life
I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time. —Jack London
&
I don’t want to give up. I promise I shall never give up, and that I’ll die yelling and laughing. And until then I’ll rush around this world I insist is holy and pull at everyone’s lapel and make them confess to me and to all. —Jack Kerouac
&
The future is unwritten and good, the kids are alright, adventure is proven to release anti-oxidants into your blood which halts aging and promotes clear skin, there are friends of yours thinking about you in far away places, love is real and never forget the struggle, never forget the streets. —Jack Terricloth
37. 3 languages you would love to learn
Gaeilge (am currently in the process of learning it, but would love to really know it)
German
Spanish
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ok it is also cool that pansexual merman's little sister uses a prosthetic tail
and that they didnt completely typecast each mermaid based on her hair/tail colour to an element. Green mermaid is water instead of earth, pink mermaid is earth instead of fire, and some rando who has 1 speaking line in the entire film is air :)))))
the problem is really the plot. it doesnt feel creative or exciting. we dont even KNOW the stakes. some woman who we dont know just says "the fate of our world depends on it ." but she doesnt seem at all concerned or worries or anything. and its like in what way? how will the world be changed if this doesnt go to plan? nobody knows. probably not even the writers.
i think what i really miss is when barbie and her friends had to be clever/creative/industrious in some way to solve their problems. Like Annalise finding that purple geode and using it to revitalize her kingdoms economy. Or even corrine in princess academy who had to figure out that she was the lost princess, and her friend who was a music genius helped fighre out that the Beep beep BEEP Beep of the door code could be deciphered. Now its all just "barbie is kind and a friend to everyone. that (+ magic) solves all her problems the end." but the truth is that being kind to a bully/abuser wont always make them stop being mean? (in fact i would say that a lot of the time it wont work!) barbie rapunzel and barbie nutcracker stood up against the evil people and defeated them.
also the music is bad and the backgrounds/animation in general arent as pretty as they were in video game hero or starlight adventure. They look more on par with backgrounds from princess and the pauper, but without the really loveable characters + compelling plot + amazing music to make up for it. also backgrounds rendered entirely in 3d just dont look as nice as the old more painted style ones.
final criticism is that the conservation of oceans message was really shoehorned in and even then it was pretty shallow bc if a bunch of mermaids can just zap the great pacific garbage pile into nonexistance, they can do it again right? like thats a bad way to show that garbage hurts sea creatures. They should have actually had a seaturtle try to swallow a plastic bag, or had fish get stuck in those 6 pack can connector things, and had barbie and co actually put in some WORK to help, rather than just do a <2 minute "battle" against the garbage and then immediately have a dance party?
ok compliment sandwich i guess their hair looked nice. Very shiny. made me want to look up hair care routines
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