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steddie-thirst · 2 years

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Gotcha | Ghostface!Steve x Fem!Reader | BLURB

Summary: Steve has a big crush on his next door neighbor and using his smooth voice over the phone gets you all worked up. However, unaware of what the night will lead to.

From now on the reader will be referred to as Belle, but it is still an x reader do not worry.

"Sooooo-" She sings through the phone, "- how was the movie?"

"Great!" Comes your enthusiastic response. "Like, I didn't know that movies could be so scary!"

"Well-" Your friend starts, but is cut short by a horrid choking fit. "God!" She huffs, sniffling as she goes to blow her nose. The sound ringing loudly in your ears although she held the phone away. A heavy sigh leaves her, "Wish I wasn't so fucking sick." Her voice was stifled by the mucus clogging her chest and throat. Poor thing.

"Me too." You sigh into the phone twirling the pink cord around your finger, "I mean it just is not the same without you, Anne." The girl on the other side lets out a stuffy giggle making you laugh with her.

"I know- AHCOOO!" She sneezes, making you jump and another groan escapes her. Anne whines, "Ugh, disgusting. Can I call you tomorrow?"

"Of course."

"Kay, g'night. Talk to you tomorrow." The line goes dead and you lean over towards the nightstand to place the phone back onto the receiver. Only to have it start ringing again immediately after.

That was odd. Leaning back over to grab ahold of the phone lifting it to your ear, "Hello?"

"Ah, so she is still awake. I thought you would be." The familiar cadence and gentleness is enough to give way to the mystery caller.

"Steve Harrington, to what to owe the pleasure of speaking to you so late at night?"

His soft laugh fills your ears, "I thought maybe you could use some company." Steve was such a generous guy. Holding open doors, offering to help in any way he could leading you to fall head over heals. Every girl would fawn over Hawkins' one and only 'King Steve'. A month into the senior year Billy Hargrove had showed his face and things changed.

Steve had dropped out of the popular pool and became more of gentlemen since then. You had only officially met him after a particularly rough fight with Bill that landed him in the nurses office, you being her assistant, tended to his wounds. Since then he's been fond of you.

He had the pleasure of being your next door neighbor which allowed him to be at beck and call for you. He'd do anything for you if it gave him the chance, but you never asked him and grew frustrating. He knew it was much more than some silly little crush.

"Company? You stalking me, Harrington?" Steve only sighed in response at the teasing manner you'd taken upon him. It was your turn to laugh when he didn't respond. Though it was starting to worry you, "Steve? You there?"

"Yeah, just-"

"Just what?" You cut him off a frown seeping across your lips and worry pooling within your gut. Had something wrong been said? Was is something that he heard?

Then he cut through the silence. "Sweetheart, are you home alone?" Steve sounded anxious, worried even, it was starting to make you nervous.

"Yes, my parents are at a business conference." You answer trying to understand why the sudden change in behavior. "Steve talk to me what's going on?"

"Belle, I think someone's in your house." Your heart is pounding, thrumming loudly in your ears, mumbling Steve's voice. You drop the phone as fear overtakes your body. The flight response kicking as you hurry to make a run for the exit.

"You there?" Steve asks trying to get your attention, "Just get of the house, safely." He attempts to instruct, but the unwanted sound of the dial-tone give him his answer. "Shit."

The house was quiet - Almost too quiet. You take the stairs one at a time careful as to not alert the intruder. Out of caution you glance back at the top of the stairs to make sure no one snuck behind you. That's when you heard it. From downstairs a faint creak of the pantry door opening then slamming shut. It made you jump nearly loosing the footing you had on the stairs.

"I know you're in here somewhere, sweetheart." Whomever the intruder was their voice was unidentifiable, altered and raspy. "You can't hide from me for to long."

You gulped throat bobbing in the poor attempt to steady your breathing. The stranger was close just down the stairs and in the kitchen. If you made it down the stairs surely they'd spot you. "You know-" He begins, boots loudly thudding across the cream colored tiles, "-I'm actually quite fond of you and I've been watching for a long time."

You take another step down the stairs, crying out internally, as it groaned beneath your weight. Surely enough compromising your position and alerting the intruder. Surr enough he waltzed right out of the kitchen. Standing in the frame in his black robe. The whole attire was frightening alone, white mask with soulless eyes, black robe and boots. Worst part was the weapon of choice, finding it to hard not to stare at the hunting knife clasped in his right hand. "Well, well, well." He coos with a tilt of his head. "Trying to run away from me, sweetheart?"

Don't answer. Do not answer the stranger, "N-No." Your shaking practically clinging to the wall.

"You lying, sweet thing?" He asks taking a step out of the doorframe, and you can't move. Glued to the wall out of fear, "Seems like you're trying to sneak down those stairs and out the back door."

He takes another step towards the stairs and you finally find the courage to move. You bolt back up the stairs and he's following quickly after you. "Get back here, sweetheart! You're making this much harder on yourself." He shouts enraged charging up the stairs after you.

"No! Leave me alone!" You shout padding down the hallway and towards your room, but he was fast. Catching up with you in an instant, gloved hands finding purchase at the ends of your hair pulling taut. A yelp rings through the halls as you fall back into the stranger, forearms instantly wrapping around you. "Let go! Get off!"

"Stop struggling, brat." You fight and claw against the intruder, tooth and nail to break away. When your elbow makes contact with his face and things fall still. It's quiet, deathly so, and he groans.

On the floor by your feet is the hollow white mask and you look back over your shoulder. Beneath the mask lays an all to familiar face of Steve Harrington.

"S-Steve?"

"Hello, Belle. Like my new look?" A scream tears its way through your throat and he chuckles a gloved hand coming to clamp down over your mouth. You struggle and fight against him as he drags you down the hall and towards your room, "Tough little thing aren't yah."

You part your lips just enough to use your teeth to bite his palm, hard enough to get him to let go. You fall down to the floor with a grunt and Steve huffs, holding his hand close to his chest dropping the knife. You quickly reach for it and wield the weapon against him hands shaking. Once he recovers he looks down at your shaking form nervously holding the knife against him. Steve chuckles looking down at you, "You're gonna regret that sweetheart."

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shallowseeker · 2 years

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TFW are fascinating, messy disaster parents, and I dig it.

Sometimes, they lapse into treating Jack as extensions of themselves, a well-known struggle in parenting. And TFW dynamics re: power and protecting and being in the war together? Ugh!

What got me thinking about this was Dean and Cas, and their lapse of judgment in 15x12:

In 15x12, Dean is leaning into using Jack to get revenge, because he wants revenge. Cas is leaning into "Jack fulfilling his destiny," which is also troubling, because it hints that Cas wants to change the world and bring on paradise, but to do that, you sort of have to take over, and Cas has certainly been entangled before with revolution to do it. Jack is thematically fulfilling what Godstiel could not.

[DEAN and CAS sit in the chairs, each with a glass of whiskey in their hands. Celebratory.] CAS: I knew it, Dean. When I was with Jack’s mother, she… You know, Kelly just had faith that Jack would be good for the world, and I felt it, too. I knew it. And then, when everything went wrong, and God took him from us… I was lost in a way I’ve never been before. Because I knew the story wasn’t over. I knew Jack wasn’t done. And I was right. DEAN: Well, here’s to being right. [DEAN holds up his glass and CAS clinks his glass against DEAN’s.] DEAN: And here’s to payback. Hmm? Come on. What, revenge doesn’t sound good to you? CAS: What sounds good to me is Jack fulfilling his destiny.

They are both tragically wrong, of course, and they'll both realize it when it's too late.

Cas will snap out of trying to slot Jack into this giant "story" and destiny. He'll even get to tell Jack that once before he dies. Nevertheless, Cas doesn't get to really repair their father-son relationship, scarred by big expectations.

Dean will snap out of his need to get revenge at all costs, and to be free, even at the cost of family. He'll return to his time-honored thematic motif of killing/injuring Billie!Death to protect his family. But he will not get the chance to repair his father-son relationship, scarred by using your son as a soldier of war. He's tragically out of time.

///

Jack and mimicry

One interesting thing about Jack is that although he deeply loves Sam as surrogate dad, he chooses Dean and Cas to match and mimic more often.

I can’t think of an instance where Jack mimics Sam or Mary directly to the same extent. (Maybe there's that one moment where Jack uses flattery and puppy eyes to adorably manipulate Rowena?)

But I find it fascinating that Jack instinctually, tragically mimics Dean and Cas in manners of obvious behaviors and dress. From beer to catch phrases to borrowed cars to matching ties, Jack models himself on Dean and Cas in a distinctly different way than he does for Sam.

Even though Jack has obvious motifs of being a "Special Child" and "Being Responsible for the Death of his Mother," his interior life resembles Dean and Mary more. Yes, we see it when he's soulless, but we also see his need to stew in 13x23 Let the Good Times Roll, when he rushes off after nearly choking a gas station worker to death.

/// What about Sam?

Sam and honesty:

If I'm being charitable, Jack's lack of mimicry of Sam could simply be because Sam feels like a better parent, with better boundaries between parent and child. (Thanks largely in part to Dean, Sam’s upbringing is slightly more secure.)

Jack isn’t looking up to Sam and trying to live up to the idea of Sam in the same way that he's trying to live up to Dean and Cas.

However, that Jack tries to mimic Dean immediately out of the gate somewhat undercuts this theory. Jack instinctually likes Dean.

With Sam, Jack grows frustrated with his perfectionistic training, and it comes to a head when Dean reveals Sam's hidden motivations to save their mom. ("Interdimensional can opener.”)

Now, Jack takes that in stride, but it accidentally results in Jack viewing Sam's niceness with some suspicion, since Sam was dishonest. And although he's terrified of Dean, in a twisted way, in viewing Dean's turbulent emotions, he winds up appreciating his honesty about the true magnitude of his own powers.

///

Sam and independence:

I honestly don't think Sam starts to get a handle on being a parent until the very end of season 13.

The fact that Sam values independence (at least in the abstract) is one of my favorite things about Sam. He tries to be logical and analytical about it, too. (“The heart choice vs the smart choice," from season 11, re: Lucifer and Cas.)

Historically, Sam struggles with the fact that people need independence to a degree but also protection and authority and boundaries.

This is what brings him into conflict with Claire Novak. She’s so used to him being “the cool one” that she doesn’t respond to him flipping a switch to try and wield authority over her.

On the other hand, Dean and Cas have been stern and honest with her from the get-go. (Pretty quickly, she instinctually responded to Cas’s grouchy authority and later Dean’s, as he began to follow Cas's lead.)

So, when Sam does assert that authority outta the blue in 12x16, she’s super betrayed about it:

SAM: We do care. CLAIRE (raising her voice): Then stop treating me like a stupid kid. SAM: Then stop acting like one. (CLAIRE reels back as if slapped. As she walks away, Sam shakes his head, regretting his words) SAM: Claire... He lets her go. Later, we see her walking down the school path, headphones on her head. Claire is spun out, not paying attention to her surroundings.

Sam never had to be that for anyone before, and it was incredible to see him have to prioritize safety and reckon with his core value of independence. He even lets her go when he shouldn’t.

This sets him up to learn to balance safety and training for Jack as well as the Apocalypse Hunters.

In season 15, Sam will backslide. He'll begin to overvalue independence once more and make his concerns known only with weak words.

He does not protect Jack, because he begins to see Jack as extension of himself; that is, like he wanted to die with Gadreel and the Hell trials, he is trying to value Jack’s choice. In reality, he really doesn’t do much in the face of Jack's fatalism besides say, “I think it’s wrong.” He tried to physically stop Dean and Cas in 15x17, but it’s also too late.

Hopefully this is a journey Sam will be forced to go on offscreen, with Dean II. Completing Sam's journey of independence versus protection would be one way to get me behind a SPN sequel.

///

Jack and the burden of living up to an idealized Cas

One of the things that sticks out to me is that after Jack is born, Dean compares him to Cas in matters of strength and control.

It’s really unfair, but Jack is expected to step up and (ultimately) become the angelic protector in the house and have absolute control of objectively terrifying superpowers.

We don't always appreciate how terrifying and shitty the burden of Jack's powers are for everyone, and it sucked for all of them. I mean, immediately, Heaven and Hell started coming for the kid, and a prince of Hell almost used him to rip out a portal to nasties worse than demons, the Shedim.

Kelly and Cas decided to bring Jack into the world with full power, under the expectation and hope of Jack wielding that power for "good" on their behalf, but in reality, they left us with a total mess. Without Cas, the only one with actual experience with anything close to that kind of power, it must’ve felt thousands of times more hopeless. That Sam decided to try and soldier on is admirable.

Nonetheless, Jack got the message early:

Be as good as Cas.

Live up to Cas.

You’re not Cas.

It’s your fault Cas is dead and you’re not him, and you’ll never be him. (This comes later.)

Ouch. Already primed to mimic Cas because he literally idolized him from the womb, Dean's ire primes him to mimic Cas even more later on. Cas is someone to live up to.

This in turn primes him to become obsessed with protecting everyone from Michael.

DEAN: Who cares if he didn't do it on purpose? He did it. I mean, you didn't see Cas smiting someone every time he got his teeth cleaned. JACK: I'm right here, you know.

///

DONATELLO: Oh. Speaking not as a prophet but as a scientist, I don't think teaching him is in the cards. It's like asking a lion not to be a lion. SAM (angrily): But this is not a lion! This is a human! DONATELLO: With a strong dose of God juice. DEAN: Okay, that's it. I'm done, all right? 'Cause he's not God, he's not Cas, he's not Simba. He's the friggin' Devil!

Interesting to note that Donatello is on the side of Jack being hopeless. We will later learn that sometimes God speaks through his prophets (15x08). Makes you wonder if he's been trying to kill Jack much longer than appears.

///

Dean, the power struggle, and the irrational position?

There's big push-pull within Dean concerning his lions cosmic family members. Dean's instincts are consistently sounding the alarm, and it's not completely irrational to be aware of the immense power angels hold.

With Cas, there’s this irrational position of, “Protect me-us!” And “No, don’t protect us!”

With Jack there’s that and the whole added component of, “Protect others from yourself!”

(SAM sits next to JACK.) SAM: We just need to make sure we get a grip on 'em, so...so you don't hurt anybody. JACK: Is that why Dean hates me? SAM: Dean doesn't hate you. It... Look, sometimes the wires in Dean's head get crossed and--and he gets frustrated, and then he mixes frustration with anger, and--and fear. JACK: Why would he be afraid? SAM: Because Dean feels like it's his job to protect everyone. And right now, we need to protect you. But we also need to protect people from you.

This is a nice conversation at first glance. Sam acknowledges the danger of Jack's powers. (It's interesting to me that Donatello holds the same view as Dean, but no one's holding his feet to the fire.) But also, Sam is SO deep into psycho-analyzing Dean that he's not talking frankly about the reality of the situation.

That is, that it was Lucifer that killed Cas, and Lucifer who pulled Mary into another world. That Dean's grieving! These important details might've helped Jack to understand his situation with a lot more clarity and grace.

Charitably, Sam is sparing Jack that knowledge to protect his volatile(?) emotions. Uncharitably, he's not wanting to rock the boat in order to use Jack's powers to get to the AU earth.

///

So, Dean is not exactly “irrational,” despite how Sam (and sometimes Cas) tend to characterize him when he's not responding immediately to a crisis in a way they would prefer (unwavering support and caretaking; Dean is the heart of the team).

///

Dean is certainly conflicted

This push-pull dynamic with his cosmic family members is why I looooved this scripted line so much from Game Night and wished they’d kept it in. It perfectly encapsulates the Dean-Cas spousal dynamic:

CAS: Are you mad I didn't tell you-- or that I'm telling you at all? DEAN: Both! An irrational position, but he's angry (and scared). Cas can feel it.

What Dean REALLY wants is for all the pain and terrible things to go away; he wants Cas to fix it.

Dean is mad at Cas for protecting him…and for not protecting him.

He wants to be shielded…and not to be shielded.

His needs are in conflict. He wants to be an equal partner with Cas, and yet he doesn't want to hear bad news. He wants Cas to be safe and out of danger...and he likes feeling safe when protected by Cas.

So, for someone like Cas? That’s gotta be baffling as shit but it's also very real and very…uhm…you know. Spousal. He's very aware that Dean speaks in code quite literally and sometimes even tries to have conversations about their lives under the guise of talking about other things. They've been speaking in metaphor since even their early days, and although many of them are lost to Cas, oftentimes, they get their meaning across just fine.

Here's an example of them talking fluently to each other about their fight, under the guise of talking about Michael, from 15x08:

(CAS sitting at the table as Dean enters and grabs beer from the fridge.) DEAN: Maybe you went too far. ("Maybe I went too far.") CAS: Maybe. DEAN: I mean, he's been in lockdown for quite a while, you know? Maybe you just, uh, went too fast. What's he doing now? ("I was a prisoner of Michael and recovering, and then so much happened, and I needed more time and space before talking about it.") CAS: No idea. He was very distraught. ("I don't know what's going on in your head. You were distraught.") DEAN: Yeah, but what exactly did he say? ("What did you hear ME say?" Dean doesn't even recall his exact words during the turmoil of losing Mary and Jack, perhaps?) CAS: "Leave. Get out. I want you dead." We didn't bond. Where's Sam? ("You shut me down and shut me out. We did not SHARE our burdens. I'm going to rely on other family members now. I'm here because I'm helping Sam.")

/// Dean craves safety and being protected, but that's incompatible with protecting everyone

Dean never got to be valued and protected growing up, so he secretly craves that. But Sam is correct in his psycho-analysis. Dean's neurosis is wanting to protect everyone, and this is often fundamentally, violently incompatible with letting your family fight alongside you.

All things considered, Dean rarely resorts to going lone wolf, like with the Mark of Cain. Despite his discomfort, he tries to marshal everyone under one roof, and that often results in a degree of my-way-or-the-highway type rigidity as a means of neurotically trying to keep everyone safe.

Both Cas and Jack, and to a lesser degree Sam (Hell trials), get caught in that specific internal war. In fact, Cas often avoids this dilemma altogether by going lone wolf. Jack has the same issue in AU earth when he tries to run away to confront Michael on his own.

/// When the fights get too big (as they often do in Supernatural), Dean freaks the fuck out and cannot control the safety of his loved ones. So you get these coping mechanisms:

Benching the player: "Wait, you might get hurt, so I'm gonna communicate that I don’t trust you to be in that fight at all." Sometimes, this need to kick people to the bench comes out as a barb: "You’re an incompetent baby who does stupid things. You’re an idiot. You're 98 pounds soaking wet." etc etc.

Denial: Sometimes, this is the time-honored, "I'm powerless / this whole fight is meaningless / there's nothing we can do / we have no choice." Other times, it's downplaying the danger, resulting in neglect.

When Dean can neither protect nor stop family/comrades from going into danger, these options are his best hope for safety. There are so many deliciously terrible options. With regards to Cas, we see an even more colorful option deployed: goading him into being stronger. "You can do it."

SAM: Tell me again why you don't just grab Adam and shazam the Hell out of there. CAS: Because there are at least five angels in there. DEAN: So? You're fast. CAS: They're faster. (CAS takes off his tie and wraps it around his palm. Dean looks on worriedly.)

In early days, Dean is incredibly spun out and confused by Cas, who he wants to be protected by and protect. In the beginning, in season 4, he's still thinking of Cas as invincible.

Post-Cas's first death, Dean tries to pin him down as brother, and at times he even infantilizes Cas as he evolves into needing to protect him. But bottom line, he just can't make Cas FIT. He's a comrade, but there's extra layers to their relationship that get confusing real fast. We get these Dean coping mechanisms in seasons 5-6 alone!

(A) Goad him into being more powerful and better so he's safe

(B) insult him to underscore that he's in danger and maybe shouldn't be fighting at all

I think in season 8, Dean figures out what those extra layers are, and in season 9, they deal with rejecting each other by accident, and in season 10, they’re respectively dealing with their past traumas and baggage. Then, in seasons 11-12, they're grappling with the whole embarrassing and terrifying fiasco of wanting to commit to each other.

But to my point about cosmic family members, there’s this simmering tension concerning the danger of celestial power running throughout.

"Dude you’re kinda scary and I instinctually know this because I’m a seasoned hunter. But I’m gonna keep ignoring that gut instinct because reasons."

And confusingly, there's also this feeling:

"I can’t really protect myself from you, since you’re stronger than me. And I'm not strong enough to protect you from your enemies...or stop you from leaving.

See this, from season 8:

CAS: See, it wasn't that I was weak. I was stronger than you. I pulled away. Nothing you could have done would have saved me, because I didn't want to be saved. DEAN (distraught): What the Hell are you talking about?

Dean was SO upset that Cas let go. That he didn't even try. (Dean and Cas often give up, but they become unhinged if the other partner gives up.) For someone like Dean, whose instinct is to squirrel away his family in a protective underground bunker? That’s a tension that feels devastating.

///

As a main character/battle commander, Dean knows that tactically, Jack and Cas will take on big, scary responsibilities by virtue of being, as season 15's Belphegor so eloquently puts it, “the muscle."

...and this is in direct conflict with Dean's baseline need to protect everyone.

He doesn’t want to gamble with them at all. He wants to say, “you’re more than a weapon,” (13x14 Good Intentions script) and Cas wants to tell him, “in times of peace, I can be.”

DEAN: Cas, you're more than a weapon-- CAS: In times of peace I can be, but if (war) is coming...

///

TFW and the burden of leading

This, at times, makes Dean a rigid, unhinged leader. That's because he’s too often sending his own fam into battle. And who wouldn’t be unhinged about that? There’s a reason we don’t operate on our own family members in a medical setting, for example. When Dean is a leader, he can be like a dog with rabies foaming at the mouth, backed into a corner. It’s the worst.

Sam, on the other hand, fares pretty well as a leader, because he values independence so highly, and that kinda works for him. (He's pragmatic and he dissociates very effectively.)

Mary is interesting. She defaults to leader a lot. In Stuck in the Middle (with You), Mary becomes the go-to leader of the group. Mary was part of an extensive hunting family, so being that kind of family-commander comes more naturally to her. When she fails to protect Cas in 12x12 though… Dean wonders why he yielded to her authority at all, and the vicious cycle begins anew.

And Cas as a leader? Cas is an extraordinarily capable leader, but when paired with his human family, he'd rather skulk around trying to protect them or keep them out of harm's way. He will sidestep the whole fucking issue and just…not involve his family at all.

I’m not sure which coping mechanism is worse.

Dean has saved Cas’s life and can hold his own in a fight, and yet Cas accidentally infantilizes him by wanting to bring home a win for you and myself instead of trying to win together. Cas got super spooked by season 10-11 Dean's Mark of Cain and Amara soul-bomb, so he digs his heels in on keeping them out of it. You can see that in this conversation in 12x19 The Future:

CAS: I know. I wanted to keep you out of this. I-I was trying to keep you safe. DEAN: You're not our babysitter, Cas, okay? That is not your job. And when in our whole lives have we been safe?

And Jack as a leader on AU Earth? Although brand new, we see that he is prone to impatience, and hubris. After his arrogance bites him in the ass, he too turns to lone wolf desperation as he tries to sneak off in 13x22 to battle AU Michael on his own.

///

Dean & Cas and protectorship

As they tackle their relationship power struggles, at some point Dean actually accepts Cas as protector and that it’s actually a kindness to let Cas protect him. Despite Cas dying against Lucifer, Dean is really trying to navigate this dynamic of their relationship with grace (13x19 Funeralia):

Dean: Cas, you wanna try this angel thing, then go for it. Just don’t get dead again.

You can see again that he’s aware of this protectorship dynamic with this line in 15x18 Despair, too: “She's gonna kill you, and then she's gonna kill me.”

///

As the series progresses, despite some serious hardships, Deam resolves to tolerate their structural dynamic, knowing it comes from a place of love, not distrust. (I’m not saying it solved their issues, but Dean does appear to grudgingly accept Cas’s relationship role with respect to him, at least on some level.)

But!

As Dean sort of unwittingly accepts this dynamic between himself and Cas, he accidentally assigns that same weight to Jack as extension of Cas.

Over time, Jack also becomes extension of Dean--a hero. And heroes do heroic sacrifice. This is what underlies Dean's ability to sunder Jack as family. Dean, after all, sunders the importance of his own hopes and dreams in order to protect the dreams of others.

Stripping the family label from Jack solves the warring, “you’re stronger than me and therefore MY protector and savior,” but “you’re my kid and it’s MY job to protect you” problem.

Dean realizes his mistake when it’s too late. Dean never got to reckon with Jack being dehumanized holy son and the archetypal child soldier, and so SPN as a series remains unresolved.

///

A closer look at Jack as extension of Dean

So anyway, we see Dean put himself in a Ma'lak box, so naturally he puts Jack in a Ma'lak box, too.

Dean is often willing to kill himself, because he’s inherently worthless and leans toward self-annihilation, ergo Jack is also worthless and can be used as a battering ram-slash-blunt instrument.

It’s no accident we see Jack burst through a door with Dean in Last Holiday AND again with Cas in Gimme Shelter. It’s about that narrative extension of self to child. (They both fall prey to that way of thinking, as we saw in the 15x12 conversation re:Jack fulfilling Revenge and some Big Cosmic Destiny.)

Dean combats his self-worthlessness by doing important tasks. If he's "the guy who saves the world," and "the guy who killed Hitler," then how he's lived and what he's done matters.

It's not quite the same as Cas's tendency towards another cosmic grandiosity, but it IS similar.

Dean is attracted to performing great deeds, big and small, and Cas is attracted to serving great causes. We see Dean put the great deeds part of his Burden on Jack in the back end of season 15. To combat Jack's crime of killing Mary and to resolve the tension of getting to have Jack back, he now convinces himself that it's all okay and allowed, because Jack is going to save the world.

Also there's this pesky "my child will do what I could not" undercurrent: Dean was ineffectual and powerless against God, but Jack is strong enough to realize that dream of defeating him and gaining freedom for everyone. The ultimate hero.

///

Jack as Love, as holy cause, and as extension of Cas

Cas, on the other hand, at his worst leans towards a different kind of authoritarian idealism, so he puts Jack on a pedestal and overestimates his importance from the very beginning.

“I thought I was more important than I actually was,” is a thing Cas said on the actual show. I think it’s relevant, because he also overestimates Jack's (cosmic) importance. To resolve the tension of getting to have Jack and stay on Earth with his human family, he assigns Jack a Greater Purpose. That way, Cas can pretend he's solely motivated by the Great Cause, instead of facing up to being motivated by love and selfishness.

Aside// Cas even treats his love this way. His love becomes another tactic to be used in the fight, because love is more comfortable to him as a Tool in his Arsenal than it is as something to cherish. He's not allowed to have it, because he's committed too many crimes in his military career to even deserve it. (It’s no accident he gets that flower for Dean in purgatory and proceeds to brutally crush it for a spell.) At worst, Cas approaches his love in a dehumanizing way. It’s a thing he’s not allowed to have unless he’s serving a grand cause to counterbalance his unworthiness of having it.

I imagine his thought process is tumultuous. "You want free will, Cas? Hypocrite, you stole the Novaks’ life, so you’re not allowed that. You want to live on earth? Hypocrite! You helped Heaven collect angels and killed their Nephilim."

This shame is always on his mind, especially after he starts raising Jack. He tells Jody in season 15: “I took Claire’s parent.” Seeing Belphegor possess Jack really hammered that shame home for him, I'd expect, once he had a moment to meditate on the matter.

///

Cas loves Jack, but Jack is a good excuse

When Jack was born, and when his powers seemed to be hurtling them towards Paradise, Cas suddenly had the Perfect Cause. (However, we see in the 12x19 script that he was actually thinking of his own human family's happiness.) Nevertheless, with a cause like that, Cas definitely had a good excuse to stay on earth and see it through.

And since he needed to be on Earth to raise Jack, he had a great excuse to bed down with his human family. Suddenly, there was a smokescreen for his desires. Suddenly, he had another holy cause to hide behind.

///

He allowed himself to partake, but he didn't wanna take too much. "Be frugal, Cas. Only take the bare minimum."

IMHO, the shame surrounding Dean and Cas with respect to their relationship is about way more than being afraid of each other's feelings. There's this big, “you don't deserve to get what you want” built into the very fiber of their beings.

I posit that Cas knows Dean feels something; it's why they stay together. They're being as "together" as what they think the universe will allow. There’s a tragic Asceticism to the whole dynamic of Cas existing on earth within a human family, and that's WAY more fascinating to me than the simple business of requited/unrequited “love confessions.”

So yes, I'm sure Cas loves Jack, but Jack was at first a wonderful excuse for Cas to be part of the family and counterbalance his cosmic guilt for wanting to be part of the family in the first place.

///

Jack as the antidote for "Godstiel's" failed Destiny

Finally, we come to Castiel's tragic war with Destiny versus the Hope for the Future.

Back in season 6, Cas slowly became a corrupt and petty God, despite his best intentions and starting out on neutral footing. Furthermore, he was incapable of containing all that power.

But Jack is fundamentally Good in Cas's eyes, and he can surely wield that great destiny successfully on account of his Goodness.

Fandom forgets that it’s Cas who set the family tone and expectation for preparing Jack for battle in season 15, by letting him eat hearts to strengthen his body.

But like Chuck believed Lucifer so beautiful and good as to be resistant to the mark from Amara, so Cas too assumes that Jack is uncorruptable, perpetuating the God-like burdens of his own family.

#on parenting in spn #I love all their parenting styles #honest #even the bad stuff #cursed thoughts

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violetevents · 2 years

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sparks fly when you smile

pairing: steve/eddie word count: 1,5k july writing challenge: day 3. sparks (other entries) a/n: i keep trying to write short drabbles that then continue to absolutely get away from me. so uh, here. have 1,5k of eddie and steve being soft and cute together :)

“There’s someone pacing around our front yard,” Wayne says, peering through the curtains of their new trailer. Although new is a bit of an overstatement, seeing as the trailer is very much second hand. But their old one got swallowed by the newly formed gate to the upside down, and they could take this one off their neighbors hands for practically nothing. Eddie’s pretty sure they were just desperate to get out of Hawkins.

And who can blame them? Shit got pretty bad, after he nearly died at the hands of the demobats, and the cross gate opened, and Vecna came back again even though they thought they’d gotten rid of him.

Vecna is really truly actually dead now, though, and Eddie’s pretty sure the upside down is permanently closed. Still, he can’t blame people for not fully trusting those facts and getting the hell out of dodge, just in case.

“Isn’t that the Harrington boy?” Wayne musses, still at the window, unperturbed by Eddie’s unresponsiveness.

“Steve?” Eddie asks, head shooting up from where he was practicing songs on the guitar. Him and Steve left things on kind of shaky terms, after fighting Vecna for the second time. He’s pretty sure there were moments during that fight where they were flirting. But that was during a life and death situation, and this is now, and Eddie’s pretty sure that means it’s different.

Now, they’re once again Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson, and according to the laws of the real world, that means they don’t interact anymore.

And yet, here Steve is. In his front yard, of all places.

“Oh for god’s sake, Ed, put the guy out of his goddamn misery before he creates a moat in the goddamn yard,” Wayne says, as he watches through the gap in the curtains while Steve starts what must be his 56th lap.

“Oh, yeah, right, I will…” Eddie scrambles off the couch, nearly tripping over a discarded book on the floor as he tries to walk towards the door and take off his guitar at the same time. Eventually he ends up sort of awkwardly face planting the door, only just saving his guitar from smashing into the wall.

Wayne shakes his head fondly, and disappears off into his bedroom.

Eddie takes a deep steading breath, and swings open the door. “King Steve! To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Steve startles, like he hadn’t expected to see Eddie, despite trampling his daisies for the past fifteen minutes. “Eddie!”

“That’s me. So what can I help you with today, my liege?” Eddie does a little bow, and Steve does a frustrated little huff laugh at the theatrics.

“It’s uh,” he runs a hand through his hair, clearly uncomfortable. “We’re uh. Holding this thing at my house on Friday. Fourth of July. It’s not a party, but it’s just. It’s been a year since Billy passed away, and we just really don’t want Max to be alone, since she’s clearly still dealing with some shit. And I thought, you probably don’t really want to be alone either, with all the shit we went through with Vecna, so uh. I thought maybe you wanted to come?”

Steve has told this whole story to the sad little potted plant next to Eddie’s foot. It’s kind of endearing, how flustered he seems. Eddie has no clue why, perse. He’s pretty sure he’s the one who’s supposed to be flustered. After all, he’s the one being invited to a Fourth of July Not Party by the Steve Harrington.

He contemplates making a joke about it, but Steve does seem really earnest, and the gesture is actually really nice. So he withholds the jokes, and instead nods thoughtfully. “Yeah, I would like that,” he says, and Steve finally looks up to him, smiling widely.

“Great!” He says, “Awesome! So, uh I will see you at my place on Friday? 3 ‘o clock or something?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, wondering when on earth this became his life. “Yeah, see you on Friday.”

“Eddie, huh?” Robin musses, sitting cross legged on Steve’s counter. Next to her, Steve is dumping chips into bowls.

“Yes,” Steve says, “I invited Eddie Munson.” He pauses and glances over at Robin. “Oh for fuck’s sake, stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what,” says Robin, while aggressively waggling her eyebrows. “I’m just saying. It can’t be a coinkydink that you tell me you might also be into guys and then a week later you suddenly invite Eddie Munson over for Fourth of July.”

Steve squints at her, as he opens a can of dip. “We’re inviting most of the ‘helped saved the world’ people, and Eddie happens to be one of those. It’s purely coinkydink.” He doesn’t say friends, because he’s not sure if that’s what him and Eddie are, yet. He’d like to be, for sure. But he doesn’t want to be presumptuous.

Robin grins at him and steals a chip. “Sure, buddy. Keep telling yourself that.”

Steve sticks his tongue out at her, and then goes to move some of the bowls into the living room. The truth is he did invite Eddie because he thinks there might be something there, and he would love to see what that something could be. But he can’t tell Robin that. Not because he doesn’t trust him, but because she would be so annoying about it.

Case in point, she’s currently following him around the house, humming ‘Take My Breath Away’ under her breath.

Luckily, at that point, everyone starts arriving and both Robin and Steve are distracted.

Eddie shows up last, smiling sheepishly and waving sort of awkwardly, and Steve can’t help the grin that spreads on his face. He was almost afraid the other guy wasn’t going to show up.

“Eddie,” he says, pulling him in for a hug, mostly out of habit. Steve’s a hugger, he can’t help it. Eddie tenses, but only for a second, and then immediately relaxes into it.

“Thanks again for inviting me,” he says, mostly into Steve’s shoulder, and Steve momentarily wishes they could stay like this forever.

They can’t, though, because there’s a house full of people that need to be entertained, so eventually Steve pulls away, and pats him on the shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get you a beer.”

Everybody hangs out by the pool for most of the afternoon, and Steve can’t help but fondly stare at his people. They didn’t get out of the battle with Vecna totally unscathed. Max still has trouble using her hands, Dustin has a limp from a broken foot that never healed right, Nancy has a gnarly scar on her arm. But they’re all still here, they’re alive and they’re smiling and all things considered, Steve’s pretty sure that’s all he can ask for.

They eat pizza and when it turns dark everyone starts filing inside to watch a movie. Steve notices Eddie hanging back, however, and decides to hang back, too.

“You okay?” He asks, sitting down on the lounge chair next to Eddie’s.

Eddie smiles softly, “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just needed some space.”

Steve hums. “They can kind of be a lot, huh?”

“What?” Eddie asks, looking bewildered. “No! No, that’s not.” He sighs, and twiddles with the ends of his hair. “They seem so… okay, you know? Everyone does. Like nothing from the past months ever even happened. It just makes me feel like I should be fine, too, and I’m not. I’m not at all.”

“Hey,” Steve says, leaning forward so he can place his hand on Eddie’s knee. “I can promise you that deep inside, none of them are okay. It’s just. This was like, our fourth time dealing with shit like this and it was your first. I guess all of us just got a lot better at hiding it.”

Eddie laughs, but it sounds hollow. “I know that should be reassuring, but it’s really not.”

Steve pulls a face. “Yeah. You’re right. But talking about it helps. And it does get better, eventually. The nightmares become less, you start sleeping better, you start to realize how fucking great getting enough sleep is, and then slowly, it all becomes a little bit easier to carry.”

Eddie looks at him, soft and hopeful. “Really?”

“Really,” Steve says, squeezing Eddie’s knee. “You just have to learn to find joy in the little things.”

As if on cue, one of the neighbors light fireworks, lighting up the sky and painting it a million different colors.

“Like that?” Eddie asks, almost breathlessly, staring up at the sky with wonder in his eyes.

“Yeah,” Steve says, smiling softly, looking at the amazed look on Eddie’s face. “Like that.”

(Nancy finds them, later.

At some point, Eddie has joined Steve on his lounge chair. They both seem to have fallen asleep, Eddie half draped over Steve, snoring softly into his shoulder. Steve’s head is turned away, but his left arm is wrapped protectively around Eddie’s back.

Nancy smiles softly to herself and decides it’s probably better to leave them alone. She closes the door behind her with a soft click.)

#steddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steve x eddie #steveddie #my st fic #july prompts

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two-baes · 2 years

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"Rose knows about the both of you, but you're the first of her brothers that she'll have gotten to meet."

Grant furrows his brows, turning to glance at his father, "You haven't introduced her to Joey?"

Slade shakes his head, the corners of his mouth turned downward slightly "Your mother thought it was best if I didn't see your brother after…after what happened to you—", he pauses, his jaw clenching briefly, "but even if she hadn't decided to keep me from seeing him, I doubt she'd be too thrilled by me swinging by with a kid I had…outside of our marriage."

"An affair." Grant says flatly "You can say it."

Slade shoots him a look, but continues, "I've tried persuading Billy to see if he couldn't get Adeline to let him have Joey, for even just a couple hours but… " -------------

"So he's a zombie?"

"He is not a zombie."

"You said he was dead." Rose points out, "And now he's not dead. That sounds pretty zombie-y to me." She crosses her arms and turns on her heel, scrutinizing Grant "…Is he gonna try to eat my brains?"

Slade lets out a long suffering sigh of a man who in this moment deeply regrets ever having children (and for a brief moment, Grant is 12 years old again, sat in front of the television, bickering with Joey over who gets to pick which Saturday morning cartoon they watch while they eat their lucky charms) "No"

"Are you sure? Because that's what zombies do—"

"Grant, for the love of god, would you tell your sister you're not going to eat her brains, before I blow mine out." Slade brings his index and middle fingers up to his temple and flexes his thumb, earning a snort from Grant.

Rose hmphs, sitting heavily on the other side of the couch, tucking one of her legs under the other.

---------

He sees his father's eyes staring back at him in the young girl's steely gaze—it's remarkable how much she resembles Slade. Looking like Slade… Grant frowns. Something she'll have in common with Joey, he thinks idly; feels a bit alienated at the thought.

"I know where to hit you." She says, suddenly, catching his attention before she presses a finger to the space between her eyes. "Just in case you get any ideas about eating my brains—"

"I'm not gonna eat your fucking brains—"

"Language" Comes Slade's voice, from the next room over.

---------

"She looks like you…" he murmurs, quietly, once Rose is out of earshot. "…like how Joey used to look like you, before…" he gestures with his hand toward his father's alabaster locks, then frowns, old insecurities dredging their way back up to the surface.

People always knew Joey was Slade's son the moment they laid eyes on him; the spitting image of their father. But Grant, he and Slade looked like night and day, he never saw his father in himself the way he did – the way everyone did – in Joey. Maybe that was why he tried that much harder to emulate the man.

Slade grunts, then remarks "You've got my nose."

Grant makes a sound at that, something between a scoff and an outright laugh, "Wow Slade, how did anyone ever manage to tell us apart…"

"And my attitude" although his tone is flat, there's a small smile curling at the edges of his father's lips, and seeing it tugs at something in Grant, his own lips pressing together into a thin line.

"Why didn't you want me around anymore?"

"I never said that—"

"You wanted to send me back to Ade—to mom"

"Christ, Grant" Slade sounds frustrated, and Grant immediately wishes he could take the last ten seconds back, "That wasn't the same thing as not wanting you around—are you really that—I wanted you safe. I wanted…" He drags his hand down his face before looking over at his son "You wanted so god damned much to be like me, and I wanted you not to."

"Why…?" There's genuine confusion in Grant's voice, unable to fathom why his father – who he spent his whole life idolizing, would say something like that. Did Slade really think so little of him? Did he not think him capable of following in his footsteps? Of living up to his legacy?

There's a long, drawn out silence, to the point where Grant thinks Slade simply isn't going to reply, then, after what feels like an eternity,

"Because look what being me got me, what it got our family. I never wanted that for you."

#earth 7777777 #my writing #I posted my other 'grant comes back to life' e7s drabbles but???#apparently forgot to??? publish this one????#even tho it's done???#it's just been sitting in my drafts since January lmfao wOOPS #Slade Wilson #Grant Wilson #Rose Wilson

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kaizenkhaos · 2 years

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Another day, another Kinktober prompt. This time more of mine and Simplydes' babies, our Soldier Boys.

Steve is the one with the upper hand this time. After Billy has teased him previously, now it's Steve's turn.

Day 11 (Orgasm denial - Harringrove, Soldier Boy AU)

"Oh no you don't Hargrove ….."

It had been another normal day of training. Boot camp, gun training, just the usual. Meals sat in the mess, at different tables with different friends. But when the time came, they knew where to go. The rest of the guys headed back towards the barracks, paying little mind to the two boys who'd not joined them. They'd got into trouble again for fighting on the football field so they figured they were just going back to do their mess duties.

Well they were doing some kind of mess duties, but not the sort their mates thought. Because Steve and Billy, although the dislike was still there, seeming to ebb and fade and then burst back into life again on occasion, were not just comrades. Not anymore. They weren't friends either. They were….well whatever this was.

Billy had spent the last ten minutes, up and down like a yo yo as the other boy has ordered him about. Pushing him up against the shelf, manhandling him over to the benches before one leg had hooked around his and over he want. In the same fashion he'd gotten the other to do only a few days previous. It had been rough and not just because the day had been shit. But both boys had been frustrated with their fathers and well, they'd not thought of a better way to relieve the tension.

Only now, Billy was feeling all of the tension. As the bastard rubbing himself between his cheeks, one hand firmly on his shaft as he tugged up and down in a rhythm that was driving Billy wild, wouldn't put out. Because apparently Steve had chosen today to try denial. Of all days. Fucking prick.

"You just going to keep doing that or you actually going to get on with it?"

"Patience dear Padawan," the little bastard grinned, his free hand tapping the other's ass cheek lightly before he saddled himself over him. Chest now pressed to Billy's bare back. His shirt was hung up neatly on a nearby stand. Steve's own had been wrenched over but was still on his person. Just the way Billy found so fucking tempting.

"You fucking….don't Star Wars at me right now dickhead."

"Oh and there was me thinking that's exactly what you wanted?"

"Don't you dare.. .I swear to God Steve…."

The cold hit him before Steve's absence did, the teen daring to look over his shoulder to see the other now leaning on the nearby shelves. Eyes firmly trained on him.

"How about you play with yourself first. Ease yourself a little," Steve nodded at him seeing the other growl which only caused the amusement to spread. A light appearing in his eyes as he reached for a cigarette out of his pocket.

"And then maybe we can work something out."

#Harringrove #kinktober 2022 #my writing stuff #mine and buddy's boys #this is what you get when you let Steve lead Billy hee hee

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trulyinspiringmovies · 2 years

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Thor: Love And Thunder

“Thor: Love And Thunder” feels aimless and runs itself into the ground with a flurry of unfunny jokes.

Thor has been hanging out with the Guardians Of The Galaxy. He’s pulled away from them when he’s told that a god-butcher named Gorr is coming to New Asgard. There, he meets his ex-girlfriend, Jane Foster, who is now wielding Mjolnir. The two of them together aren’t enough to stop Gorr from stealing the children of New Asgard. They must now amass an army to stop Gorr before he kills all gods.

A lot of people are frustrated with this movie and I feel like they’re having a hard time pinning down why. To be completely honest, I’m feeling the same way too. There’s a lot wrong with this film, but it’s hard to attribute what’s exactly causing this frustration. The first thing people are talking about is superhero fatigue. Like many people, I think I’m starting to experience superhero fatigue. But at the same time, I’m not 100% convinced that I am. I thoroughly enjoyed “Moon Knight” and “The Batman” and there are some superhero projects that I’m excited about. Maybe then it’s not really superhero fatigue and more so mediocre superhero movie fatigue. It’s no secret that the superhero genre is oversaturated now and it seems like a lot of these projects either exist to cash in on all the hype or exist out of obligation rather than inspiration. The Marvel television shows are also contributing to this oversaturation. Although “Loki” and “WandaVision” felt important to the MCU, they haven’t really been. Wanda was used poorly in “Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness” and the ending of “Loki” hasn’t come into play in over a year. Every MCU project also feels like they exist just to set up the Young Avengers without attempting to make them interesting. Kate Bishop, America Chavez, Billy, Tommy, and Cassie Lang just don’t really seem exciting because the movies or shows they were set up in don’t do a good job at giving them equal spotlight attention as their predecessors. All of this has nothing to do with the actual “Thor: Love And Thunder” movie itself. In my opinion, the mediocrity of this film opened an opportunity for fans to finally vent their frustrations about Phase Four they were already having. The Guardians Of The Galaxy interacting with Thor was teased in “Avengers: Endgame” and I was excited to see what that would be like. Too bad the idea gets abandoned in the first few minutes. There could’ve been massive potential with pairing the group with Thor. Peter Quill could’ve met Jane and talked about her cancer with her since he had his mother taken away by cancer. That could’ve been a powerful moment that we’ll never get. Thor and Star-Lord could’ve shared a moment since they both lost the love of their lives. Mantis could’ve helped Thor reconcile all the trauma he’s been through. Thor and Drax would’ve been a powerhouse comedy duo. Groot has a special connection to Stormbreaker, so the movie could’ve teased something about that. Instead, the Guardians are thrown away so Thor could goof off. The movie thinks it’s being funny when it just hurt to watch. It sucks too since I’ve heard a lot of people think the screaming goats were hilarious. It wasn’t funny a decade ago. It isn’t funny in an out-of-touch blockbuster now. Jane’s cancer was the only thing taken seriously, but it never opened the opportunity for Thor to grow as a character. I mean, come on. Jane is selfless enough to sacrifice her own health for the greater good and uses that to fuel her purpose. You’re telling me Thor didn’t take any notes from that? Christian Bale’s Gorr was probably the best part of the movie and he’s only used sparingly. I would’ve loved to see more of him because he genuinely felt like a threat to the MCU as a whole, but he dies so that Thor could have a daughter. I hate that this movie makes you sit through insufferable jokes to set up for a future movie that doesn’t seem interesting at all. It feels like a waste of time for both the audience and the people making this uninspired movie.

★★

Watched on July 27th, 2022

#Thor: Love And Thunder #July #2022 #Action #Comedy #Superhero #Adventure #Science Fiction #Fantasy #PG-13 #Taika Waititi #July 2022 #2 stars

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chrisbitchtree · 2 years

Text

Pinch Me - Chapter 4

Chapter 1 here

Chapter 2 here

Chapter 3 here

***

The next month flies by, and suddenly it’s late June, and Steve feels like he can’t remember a time where Robin and Billy weren’t around. While he certainly wouldn’t call Billy a friend, the ice between them has started to thaw a bit more. They don’t talk about anything deep like Steve and Robin do, but they do chat about shitty customers and how different Indiana summers are from the ones back in California. Steve finds that he actually enjoys talking to him when he’s not acting like a massive prick.

On the last Friday in June, Steve is working the closing shift. It’s been a busy night, as Fridays typically are, and Steve is beyond relieved when it’s finally over. He and the other closers finish cleaning, then he quickly changes in the bathroom. Robin is supposed to meet him in the parking lot so they can head to a party at the house of some girl that Robin went to school with, Heather. Steve kind of knows her from the country club and he feels awkward about going, but Robin insists it’ll be fine.

He locks up and heads to the back parking lot. There’s no sign of Robin, until he spots her standing next to a car at the very back of the lot, talking to the driver. As Steve gets closer, he realizes it’s Billy in his signature blue Camaro. That’s weird, Billy was done at 8, and it’s after 10 now. Robin turns and spots him, and she wobbles on her platform sneakers as she waves him over. Looks like someone started drinking without him.

“Steve!” she says, waving him over. “Look! It’s Billy! I found him hiding here! He looks sad!” She turns to Billy. “You look sad. Come to a party with us! Then you’ll be less sad!” Oh god, how much did Robin already have to drink? There is no way she would be making this much of a scene if she’s even halfway sober.

As he gets to Billy’s car though, he sees that Robin isn’t wrong. Billy does look sad about something. Although Steve would be too if he was the one that was camped out next to the dumpsters. Billy tries to decline her invitation, saying he’d better get home, but she won’t let up. “Please, Billy? Please? I promise you’ll have fun!” She’s shouting at this point, and she’s drawn the attention of people in the parking lot next door.

“Ok,” says Billy, an exasperated look on his face. “I’ll come to your stupid party. One drink though, that’s it, then I really have to get home.” Robin pumps her fist in a show of victory. Steve drags her to his car, and Billy follows along behind them. “What were you thinking inviting him?” He says, turning to her the second the car doors are closed.

Robin gives him puppy dog eyes. “I’m sorry, but he looked so sad. I couldn’t leave him there next to the trash!” Fuck Robin and her big heart. “While I can appreciate that, Rob, I don’t think hanging out with a bunch of drunk teenagers is going to cheer Billy up any. It might just depress him more.” He can picture a scowling Billy following them around in awkward silence. This is going to be a long night.

***

They get to the party, and as Billy exits his car, it dawns on Steve that the other man is still wearing his work uniform. “Do you not have anything else that you can wear?” he asks, looking in the back windows of the Camaro. Billy shakes his head. “Sorry, pretty boy, but nope, you get me in my Whamburger shirt, or you don’t get me at all.” Steve stands his ground. “Well, you’re definitely not going to this party with us wearing that.” Billy sighs in frustration. “I didn’t even want to come, princess. I’m fairly certain it was Ms. Buckley here that practically begged me to come. I can just go home if you want.”

Robin starts to whine. “Nooooo, you can’t go home, Billy.” Steve, who is still looking in the back windows, spots clothing of some sort on the back seat. “What about that?” He asks, pointing at the ball of fabric. Billy has a look. “My leather jacket? No way. It’s hotter than hell tonight, Harrington. And I don’t have anything to wear under it.” Steve thinks for a second. “Wear it without a shirt. It’ll be fine. Girls will go wild.” Billy sighs. “If I do it, will it get you to shut up so we can go to this party and get it over with?”

“Yes!” Robin says, answering for him. Billy yanks open the door of the car, then pulls off his shirt. Steve does a double take. Jesus, Billy has abs. Steve could tell he was fit from how his arms looked in his work uniform, but he isn’t expecting this. Billy throws on the jacket. “Satisfied?” Steve nods, at a loss for words. Paired with the jeans that they’re thankfully allowed to wear with their uniform shirts, Billy actually looked great. Of course, he didn’t want to even be here, but he was going to show Steve up.

They push their way through the crush of partygoers on the front lawn and enter through the front door. The main floor is filled with people dancing to some rap song that Steve doesn’t recognize, drinks in hand. Smoke fills the air, and there may be someone getting a blowjob in the corner. Steve doesn’t want to look too closely.

It only takes seconds for them to lose Robin in the crowd. Great, now Steve is stuck babysitting the stiff. “Let’s go find drinks!” Steve shouts at Billy. He grabs the other man’s arm to keep him close as they weave between the bodies. They find beers in the kitchen, and Steve pops the tops on two of them, passing one to Billy. He chugs his and Billy follows suit. He wonders if Billy will leave now that he’s fulfilled his one drink requirement, but instead, he follows Steve as he makes his way to the backyard with another two beers.

They head out the back door, and Steve turns to Billy. The other man is drenched in sweat, his chest glistening with it. He holds out one of the beers. “Have one more before you go?” Billy nods, grabbing it from Steve and taking a sip. “Might as well. Better than being at home.” Steve is about to ask Billy what he means when they’re interrupted by a bunch of squealing girls running out the back door.

Thread of conversation lost, the two men stand side by side in silence, sipping their drinks and observing the party around them. On the lawn, there’s a group of boys doing keg stands, and they turn their attention to Billy. ��Hey man, come here! Come do one!” Billy shakes his head, letting out a small chuckle. He sounds surprisingly nice when he laughs. Steve laughs along with him, then decides to make some fun for himself.

He turns away from Billy, grumbling. “I knew you’d be too much of a pussy for something like that.” Billy grabs him by the shoulder and turns him, so Steve is facing him. Steve’s got him, hook, line, and sinker. “Hey man, remember that this is your boss you’re talking to. And I’m not a pussy.” He hands Steve his beer and jogs down the steps to the group gathered at the keg.

It turns out that Billy can do a keg stand like a pro. “Yeah! 42!” someone shouts as Billy dismounts, beer dripping down his chest, mingling with the sweat. He’s grinning, his first raised in the air in victory. Steve has never seen him this happy. “That’s how you do it, Hawkins!” He shouts, as he makes his way back to the back porch. Steve is a little disturbed by the fact that he thinks the whole display is kind of hot.

#harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #billy x steve #my fic #robin buckley #chrisbitchtree writes #harringrove fic #90s au #slow burn #enemies to friends to lovers #enemies to friends to lovers slow burn #slow burn romance

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smexy-slashers · 2 years

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helloo >:) may I request headcanons for rz michael myers, asa, and billy with a gender neutral deaf s/o wwwww

Micheal Myers (Rz), Asa Emory and Billy Lenz with a Deaf!S/o

Micheal Myers (Rz)

He breaks into your house at first, ready to slice you open like all his other victims, when he realises how...oddly Oblivious you are to his presence.

Sure, he's silent, but he had to smash a window to get in for God sake! How have you not heard him??

He tests his small theory, smashing a vase behind you, and when you don't respond, he realises that you're deaf.

He begins to feel...guilty for wanting to kill you, as although he is a deranged murderer, he gets no satisfaction out of killing someone or something who can't defend themselves.

When the two of you get together, he's more considerate of you, and the fact that you can't hear him.

He tries not to alert you off his presence so suddenly as to not make you jump, so he usually waits until you're sat down, or don't have your back turned to reveal himself to you

He leaves small notes around the house, since he doesn't yet know sign language to communicate with you.

His notes contain small compliments 'You look nice.' , 'I love you' , 'I appreciate you'.

Small things to let you know he cares without words are his speciality, so you being deaf isn't an issue to him at all.

Asa Emory

He's setting up traps in your house, and he doesn't exactly care about noise since he thinks no one is home, until you walk into the room, and he curses himself out realising you've been here the whole time

He gets out his knife, frustrated and ready to finish the job..when he realises that you don't even know he's present

He watches you manoeuvre around the house with interest, making various noises in an attempt to catch your attention.

He quickly realises that you're deaf, and decides to observe you for a bit longer, thats when be becomes obsessed.

Now since he knows you as the collector, he's going to intruduce himself as the collector, either by kidnapping you or making himself known in your home

After the two of you are officially together, he will actually try his best to learn sign language so that he can communicate with you, and like Micheal, will leave notes to let you know how much he appreciates you.

He may get frustrated that you cannot hear him sometime, but that just makes him more protective.

You aren't leaving his side honey

Billy Lenz

When he first see's you, he's instantly enamoured, and tries to call at times your home so he can talk to you

However, you don't get put on the phone , and that frustrates him to no end.

Billy wants to talk to you god dammit!

Eventually he gets tired of this, he wants to hear your voice and speak to you, so he climbs down from the attic and stalks you quietly around the house....when he realises that you can't hear him..at all.

He begins to understand why you weren't put on the phone, or why you never picked up, and decides to take it slow instead.

When the two of you are together, he makes an effort to talk a bit slower so that you can read lips and understand him

Please teach him sign language! He wants to talk to you as much as possible and he's definitely eager to learn

Although he would love to ramble on and on to you about things, and about how much he loves you, he knows he can't, so he'll show his love through physical affection instead

#slashers #micheal myers #asa emory #billy lenz

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the-cult-of-russo · 3 years

Text

Who's my Good Boy?

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Request: will you write the post you reblogged, the one that says billy likes to be called 'good boy' in bed? if not, can i request that? 👀 thanks!!!!

A/N: Oh man. This one… I had way too much fun with this one lmao It took on a life of its own and I don't know if it went in a direction you're okay with, but fuck me sideways, it went there 😂

Warnings: cursing, smut. Like serious fucking smut, I'm not even kidding. Knife play, lil bit of blood, dom/sub bullshit. Sub!Billy for once and the little shit secretly loves it.

If you're under 18 then please avert your eyes and scroll on by. If you're over 18 then enjoy and maybe cleanse yourself in some holy water when you're done lmao. I'd say I'm sorry but that would be a bare faced fucking lie 😂😂😂

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You glanced in the mirror and admired your appearance. The black lace lingerie looked good on you and you felt pretty sexy. It was a new set since Billy had already seen every piece of underwear you owned. It was time to cash in on your win and you knew just what you wanted.

You and Billy often bet with each other over numerous things and more often than not, Billy would win. This time you'd actually won and like hell you'd be squandering this opportunity. He'd bet that he could get more girls numbers at the bar you'd been at and you'd gladly accepted. Never one to turn down his challenges.

Maybe it was weird for a couple to go off and flirt with other people and get their numbers like that but both of you never intended on calling the girls. It was simply a fun challenge. And you wished you'd taken a picture of Billy's face when you both counted and you'd got 5 more numbers than him. He looked horrified, wildly offended, ridiculously proud and also pretty aroused. You hadn't cashed in then, two nights ago, and you hadn't told him what you had planned. But you most certainly had plans.

Billy loved being in control in every aspect of his life. It was just the way he was and that bled into the bedroom too. You were more than happy to play the sub to his dom and you loved it, but you often wondered just how Billy would fare if the roles were reversed. How would he handle you taking charge and teasing him to the brink of insanity like he did to you?

You were waiting for him to get home from work and once you heard the door, you grinned to yourself. You knew Billy's senses were sharp, perks of dating a former marine sniper, but you crept out of the bedroom and saw him sat on the sofa facing away from you. You knew you wouldn't be able to sneak up on him, not through lack of trying, so you weren't disappointed that he didn't jump when you leaned over the back of the sofa, wrapping your arms around him from behind.

"Hey, baby," he murmured with a smile, tilting his head to look at you. His hands came up to stroke your arms and you could see curiosity burning in his eyes at your lack of clothes although he couldn't see from his angle just what you had on. You kissed his cheek sweetly and he smiled, leaning into the touch.

"I'm ready to cash in my win," you smirked. He raised a brow, lips quirking a little as his eyes glittered with curiosity.

"Really?" He asked, voice low and sultry and you had to remind yourself you had a plan.

You were nowhere near Billy's level of patience and control but you'd try hard to stick to the plan. You unwound your arms from him, stepping back a bit and you saw his eyes trail down your body, taking in the black lace against your skin and the stockings you had on. The wolfish grin that spread across his face made your knees weak.

He got up, slinking over to you like a panther, dark eyes drinking in the sight of you. You had to fight the urge to submit to him. To fall on your knees and worship his cock. Now wasn't the time. He reached out to grab your hips but your hands darted out, seizing his wrists tightly.

"I didn't say you could touch," you said firmly, quirking a brow at him. His lips parted slightly, a dark chuckle leaving them as his fingers flexed but he made no move to escape your hold despite how easy it would be for him. He looked curious and delighted by where this was going, to see this side to you.

You let him go, pleased when his hands settled by his sides, clenched into fists. You knew he would take it as a personal challenge but you also knew it would be hard for him not to touch you which is why you had plans for once you got into the bedroom. You grabbed his tie, yanking him close as your lips ghosted his. His clenched fists were still by his sides.

"No touching," you reminded him before you kissed him. He kissed back fervently, his tongue exploring every inch of your mouth and it caused you to moan. Drawing out a groan in response from him.

When you broke away, a sly grin painted your lips and you could see his resolve for not touching you was wearing thin. You let his tie fall back against his chest before you turned on your heel, feeling his gaze on your ass as you sauntered into the bedroom. He followed obediently as you perched on the edge of the bed, crossing one leg over the other as you looked up at him.

"Strip," your firm command was met by a smirk from him and he took his time to remove all of his clothes. The man was built like a god and you could feel how wet you were already as your eyes drank him in greedily. His smug smirk let you know he knew just what he did to you.

You stood up, loving the way his eyes didn't leave you as you beckoned him over. He walked over with no hesitation and his hands went to grab you again. Before you had to intervene, they snapped back to his sides, balled up into fists and you smirked at him as your hands smoothed up his bare toned chest.

"Good boy," you murmured, your lips ghosting his. His groaned, head snapping forward and his teeth caught your lower lip. The only act of rebellion you'd allow for the night.

You kissed him greedily, a hand fisting his hair as his mouth devoured yours before you moved away feeling breathless. You really needed to make sure you kept control over yourself. You pushed him to lay back, gesturing with your hand for him to scoot up and lay on the pillows. He did as instructed, his heavy lidded gaze never leaving you. You knew for a fact he was staring at your ass when you bent down to get his tie. You made a bit of a show of it and he groaned.

He raised a curious brow as you returned with his tie in hand and you smirked, moving to straddle him. You sat more on his torso though so he couldn't find any friction from you. You grabbed his hands without a word and pinned them above his head, making quick work of tying them together and to the headboard. His almost black eyes pinned you in place from where he lay and it sent a thrill right through you.

"Y/N…" his low voice was silky smooth but it was full of warning. It was the voice he usually used before he made your ass cheeks red and had you begging him to fuck you senseless. You loved it. You fluttered your lashes at him with a coy smile, gripping his jaw before you leaned down to kiss him deeply. He kissed you back hard and it amused you how he was still trying to have some level of control with this. You'd soon break him.

"I'm in charge, be a good boy for me," you purred against his lips. He groaned, shifting his hips as he tried to find something, anything, to rub against but he found nothing. You could see the frustration on his face. You moved to kneel next to him, really wanting to avoid his cock as much as possible to really drag this out and you started to kiss and nip at his neck. He tilted his head, giving you easy access as he hummed, hands flexing over his head as he gave the tie a tug to no avail.

You kissed down his toned chest, giving his nipple a teasing lick and nip and he moaned softly, arching his hips again pointlessly. You couldn't help but smirk against his skin as you continued to kiss down his body. You purposely steered clear of his dick, kissing his thighs as you settled between them and biting them, leaving marks as he groaned. He kept tugging at the tie and you knew it was killing him not to be able to touch you. You were revelling in it. You left another mark at the juncture of his thigh that had him gasping and squirming and you really started to see just why he loved to tease you so much.

"Shit," he moaned, head falling back as you started licking and sucking at his balls. You hummed around them as you lavished them with attention and he couldn't stay still as he kept arching up at nothing with frustrated groans. You grinned to yourself before licking a stripe up his lower belly, adjacent to his throbbing cock but making sure you didn't touch it.

"Untie me, Y/N," he strained voice was full of authority as he punctuated his words with a sharp tug at his binds.

"Ah, ah, ah. I'm in charge," you tsked at him, raising a brow. His nostrils flared at your defiance, a growl leaving his lips. But his eyes were sparkling and you knew that despite how unsettling the lack of control was, how frustrating it was for him to have you not do as he says, he was enjoying it at the same time.

You moved to straddle him, once again higher up and leaving his cock with no purchase to rub against. You gripped his jaw tightly, leaning down with hard eyes as he blinked up at you.

"You're not being a very good boy, Billy. Only good boys get rewarded," you murmured, delighting in his answering moan. You reached over to the nightstand, grabbing one of his many knives that he always kept there. You twirled it with ease in a move that he'd taught you and you heard his breathing hitch.

His black eyes glanced at it before going back to your face and you smirked at his groan of 'fuuuuck' as he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. You trailed the knife carefully down your neck and over your lace clad breasts and it wasn't lost on you how still he became. The knife was incredibly sharp but even through his lust filled haze he wouldn't do anything to hurt you, not wanting to jostle you and have you cut yourself.

"You gonna be a good boy now?" You asked, blinking down at him. He nodded stiffly and your answering smile was devilish. You slipped the knife between your breasts under the bra, angling it away from you and slicing the material with ease. His eyes were locked on the knife now and his hands kept flexing into fists over and over despite how still he'd become. Your breasts now exposed, you kept the knife in hand as you slipped the straps off one by one and tossed the now useless material carelessly on the floor.

His eyes drank you in with a hunger that made you wet and you smirked down at him. The knife then sliced through either side of your panties and you slipped the material off and it was discarded with the bra. Obsidian eyes drifted down to where your legs were spread on him and he bared his teeth a little before licking his lips. You took your time, surprisingly still calm and in control as you trailed the blade down from his neck to his chest. He shifted his hips up, once again finding nothing to help, but the tip of the blade nicked his skin ever so slightly and a drop of blood pooled on his chest. You knew he'd done it on purpose since he'd been so careful when the knife was on you.

Locking eyes with him, you leaned down and licked up the drop of blood and he hissed, tugging at his binds again.

"Fuck… Y/N…" the authoritative tone was gone and replaced with a pleading one and you knew you were finally wearing him down. You gave him a wolfish grin as you set the knife back on the nightstand before giving him a deep kiss that he responded to willingly, his hips moving once more to no avail.

"Do you know what I want?" You asked softly, lips a hair away from his.

"My dick?" He replied, not missing a beat. His voice was low and hoarse as he leaned up trying to chase your lips but you moved just out of his reach with a snort. You couldn't help it. His grin back at you made you smile despite the current situation. He always loved making you laugh and even this didn't change that. You placed a teasing kiss at the corner of his mouth and when he tried to tilt his head to meet your lips, you gripped his jaw firmly and held him in place.

"What I want…" you kissed along his jaw, "is for you…" you kissed your way to his ear as he squirmed under you, "to beg," you purred in his ear.

"Fuuuuck," he groaned, tugging helplessly at the tie. It made you smirk as you sat back upright and looked down at him all innocent like. Your hands trailed down your body, palming your breasts as his eyes took you in. He squeezed them shut for a moment as if that would help but it wasn't for long before his obsidian gaze was back on you. He couldn't help himself.

He watched with rapt interest as your hand trailed lower until it reached between your legs. You moaned softly as your fingers circled your clit lazily, your eyes not leaving his face. His eyes looked wild now, desperate and you were just waiting for him to snap.

"Y/N," he pleaded, making you grin wickedly. It wasn't enough though. You ignored him and his restless hips as he tried his hardest to find friction.

You knelt up a little, allowing yourself to slip two fingers inside your soaked pussy with ease and you moaned, biting your lip as you started fingering yourself.

"Shit… fuck… Y/N, please," he begged, sending a thrill right through you at how desperate he sounded.

"Please what?" You asked breathlessly, another soft moan leaving your lips as you continued to pleasure yourself. His dark eyes were darting from what you were doing and to your face, his chest heaving as he squirmed.

"Fuck me. Fuckin' touch me, I don't care. Do something! Please," he was so helpless and looked on the brink of insanity and it's just where you wanted him. Where he'd gotten you so many times before.

Your fingers slipped out of you and you offered them to him, quirking a brow. He wasted no time in opening his mouth and sucking them clean, groaning like it was the best thing he'd ever tasted as his tongue swirled around your fingers. Fuck, if that didn't turn you on.

Gripping his jaw, you rewarded him with a filthy kiss, all tongues and teeth as you tasted yourself on his tongue.

"Good Boy," you breathed softly, earning a moan from him. You shifted down a little, kneeling up and he hissed when you finally grabbed his cock. You lined him up before sinking down onto him with a moan and the noise he made was downright dirty and you knew you'd file that away for a later date.

You stayed where you were, unmoving, and when he shifted his hips up to you, you raised a brow in warning at him. It amused you when he complied and stilled immediately, worried you'd climb right off him after he finally got what he wanted. You still weren't done driving him crazy yet and you knelt back up, his cock almost slipping out of you, only the tip inside. You teased him, not sinking down all the way, not even halfway before you lifted back to just the tip and he whined. Billy fucking Russo actually whined and you smirked in delight at the noise you'd drawn from him.

"Please. Please, please, just… fuck," he gasped, a sheen of sweat breaking out on his brow as he bared his teeth again. Having someone as composed and calculated as Billy like this was a huge turn on and you rewarded him by sinking back down fully until he bottomed out and he moaned loudly. The tug on his binds let you know he really wanted to touch you. If it wasn't for the fact you'd googled the best way to tie him up, you had no doubt he'd be pinning you to the bed right now and fucking you like an animal. He got like that sometimes. Practically feral. And you could see the glint in his eyes right now.

You started bouncing on his cock, the pair of you moaning and you felt the relief the same as he did. You'd worked yourself up quite a bit but you were proud of yourself that you'd held out and got what you wanted out of him. You'd fully expected to cave to him way before it got that far. He was chanting your name like a fervent prayer, head thrown back in pure ecstasy as you rode him hard and fast.

He was still tugging on the tie as his hips arched up to meet each hard thrust and you felt him hit all the right spots as you moaned.

"Untie me. Please fuckin' untie me, I need to touch you," he begged, voice raw as he pulled more on the tie. You snarled, your hand darting out and gripping his throat, squeezing it a little as you kept moving. His eyes went wide, lips parted as he moaned even louder.

"No," you bit out, eyes blazing. His back arched, a gasp leaving his lips as he fucked up at you harder.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he moaned desperately, actually whimpering when you squeezed his throat tighter.

You leaned down, hand still firm around his throat and you nipped at his lower lip.

"Who's my Good Boy?" You asked breathlessly.

"Me… I am," he moaned without hesitation. He looked completely blissed out and you felt the pleasure building up at a rapid rate inside of you.

Seeing him in the throes of pleasure like this sent you over the edge and you cried out, clamping down around him as your hips faltered for a second, your release washing over you.

"Don't stop, don't… please, don't fuckin' stop," he begged helplessly, his voice a mere breathy whisper as he kept rutting up into you. You obliged through your orgasmic haze and his moans got louder, hands balled into fists above his head before a loud groan filled the room. After a few more stuttered thrusts up into you, he stilled, as did you, and you smiled feeling heavenly.

You leaned over, easily untying him before you collapsed on his chest and caught your breath. He wasted no time in wrapping his arms around you, his hands smoothing the skin on your back as if making up for the time he hadn't been able to touch you.

"Holy shit," he murmured breathlessly, nuzzling your hair. You smiled tiredly before sitting back up. You took his wrists in your hands delicately. They were a little red from all his tugging and you placed soft kisses to each of them. When your eyes landed on his face again he was giving you a soft smile that made your heart stop for a moment.

"Did you enjoy it?" You asked hesitantly. His smile widened, one hand on your hip as the other stroked your face.

"You're kiddin', right? I think it's obvious I did. Didn't know you had it in you," he smirked. You blushed and rolled your eyes playfully, leaning down and kissing him softly. You moved away to lay your head back on him feeling content to just fall asleep like this with his softening cock still inside of you.

"I gotta say… I'm pretty impressed. You did me proud," he smirked into your hair as his fingers trailed lazily up and down your back. You hummed softly, snuggling into him more.

"Well, I learned from the best," you replied with a sleepy grin. He chuckled and you felt him press a kiss to your head.

"Don't think we're makin' a habit of it though. Was fuckin' torture," he snorted, making you giggle a little.

"Now you know how you make me feel," you murmured tiredly. He chuckled, a hand winding into your hair as his fingers rubbed your scalp and you were helpless to succumb to sleep when he did that. The pair of you drifted off still tangled together and you still had a smile on your face as you remembered that you'd gotten Mr Marine to beg for you.

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #the punisher #billy russo imagine

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blueeyedheizer · 3 years

Note

Can you do #14 and #18 for billy/four? These NSFW prompts are toooo goood

#14 "Has he ever touched you like this?"

#18 “We’re really going to fuck here? What if someone sees us?” NSFW (no smut)

not sure how to feel about this one :/ i feel like it's really badly written, sorry

It wasn't often that One allowed you to have a whole weekend off. No mission, no dictators to kill, just you, the team and your fake I.D.s going to the local club at night to have a few drinks, get laid and dance your hearts out until god knows what time of the night.

When these types of days were allowed, you made sure to make the best of it, in every way possible

One had made it crystal clear that being in a relationship with someone from the team was prohibited, but there never was a rule that said you can't hook up with people outside of the team. Not that you cared about the rules, but you didn't want to get kicked so you tried to comply with them;

So that's what you did. You found a man outside of the Underground. His name was Josh, and he lived not so far away from where you used to live when...well, when you were alive. He was handsome, smart, and you would've gladly asked him on a proper date if the situation wasn't what it was.

Everytime you came to the club he waited for you at the bar, he bought you a drink, you chatted for a couple hours and eventually when the club began to empty, he took you home. You fucked, and you left early in the morning leaving a note on the pillow.

You expected tonight to not be any different.

You made your way into the club with Amelia by your side—whose fake name was Tara for the night, immediately spotting Josh at his usual stool at the far right of the bar. You waved at him and made your way to him, greeting him with a quick kiss on the corner of his lips, teasing him a bit. You winked as you sat next to him and he ordered you both a drink. You insisted switching rounds for the night, which he eventually agreed to.

It wasn't long before Josh led you to the dancefloor, the both of you already a bit tipsy.

You danced for what felt like hours, not minding anyone else but you and Josh. However, when he slipped away to refill your drinks, you bumped bodies with another person.

"Hey,” you smiled as you were met with Four. But your expression dropped as he didn't greet you back, his jaw clenching at he looked anywhere but you.

"Can we talk?" he wondered. You shrugged, nodding.

"Sure."

He guided you to a corner and as soon as you were out of sight, he pressed you against a wall. Not in a sexual way, more in a "I'm about to yell at you" way. So before he could say anything, you spoke up.

"Look, if you're going to lecture me—"

"Why are you doing this?" he cut you off. Your shoulders dropped and you sighed, knowing exactly what he was referring to.

You and Four were always flirty during missions and, sometimes, you made out and gave each other head whenever you needed to blow some steam. So to say he didn't exactly like the relationship you had with Josh would be an understatement. He felt like you were his. He wanted you to be his. But the rules were always your excuse.

"I don't see why you're so upset. We can't be together anyway, so why would I stop myself from seeing other men?" Four scoffed.

"Oh, don't give me that bullshit. You gave him your real name when you know damn well this is the one rule we should never break." he told you. Although he tried to keep his calm, you could hear the anger and frustration in his voice. "Do you love him?"

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. But he was expecting an answer and again, all amusement drained from your face as you met his eyes.

"No. Maybe. I— I don't know." you mumbled. "But that doesn't even matter. I can't have you, and I can't have him either. He's just a fling."

"You could have me if you really wanted to." he huffed. You rubbed your hands over your face, sighing.

"Jesus, Four, don't make this any more difficult than it already is."

"I'm not asking for much. Two and Three are fucking, and everyone knows that. So why can't we?"

The two of you remained silent for a moment, until you decided to speak, sighing softly.

"You really had to go and fall in love with me, huh." you smiled fondly, reaching for his cheek. Then Four leaned in to press a soft kiss to your lips, and another one.

You made out for a couple minutes until you felt his hand slip underneath your dress and up your thigh, a small breath leaving your lips as his fingertips grazed over your panties. Then he pulled them halfway down your thighs and his thumb pressed into your clit, rubbing small circles on the sensitive bud.

"Has he ever touched you like this?" he whispered in your ear, making you shiver.

"You don't want to know the things he did to me." you smirked, your breathing growing heavier as he got down on his knees.

Four made you come twice with just his fingers and tongue, and he was unzipping his pants when you realized how exposed you actually were.

"We’re really going to fuck here? What if someone sees us?" you breathed out, still trying to recover from your previous orgasms. You had a pretty clear view on the dance floor, and whoever looked in your direction from a certain angle could see you as well.

"Let them see."

#blurb event vol.3 #billy/four #billy/four x reader #four/billy x reader #ben hardy x reader

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quellmythirst · 3 years

Text

Summer Days and Summer Nights Part 18

Summary: Living in the city can get pretty boring, your hoping that this season is more interesting than the last. Although living in a tiny flat with your little brother certainly isn’t helping matters.

Characters: You (reader) x Billy Russo.

Warnings: Swearing, SMUT, Oral Frec, Look babe, this is mostly smut, because i'm depraved and deprived.

Word Count: 1.3k+

{Part 17}

If you are under 18 DNI. Anyone under 18 can please FUCK OFF NOW. This ain’t for you. I do not consent to my works being copied, shared or rewritten.

An: As predicted work got in the way :( But, its still going, only a tiny bit slower. Many loves

Exploring the house some more you found another bedroom on the first floor and a small alcove that you thought would make a cute little office for yourself. The window seat was perfect for sitting and drinking your tea, watching the snowfall outside., a book nestled in your lap and more often than not a kiss planted on your forehead.

When the snow finally let up you took walks, noting the frozen over lake, a small walk away from the main house. The short walks easing the pain in your legs that had been building for the days you had spent in bed. Billy always accompanied you, never leaving your side in case you fell. Which only happened once, hitting your shoulder on the wall, Causing an unruly scream to fall from your lips. But you understood, the need to have each other in sight seemed to be mutual.

Laying on the bed every night Billy applied the balm to ease your scaring, carefully massaging the lotion into your skin, never taking things further. You started to suspect that he was worried he may hurt you. Though your sexual frustration was building, you gave him time, tried to give him time. Instead relishing in that bed truly was the most comfortable you'd ever been, the mattress was just the right combination of soft to firm and the Egyptian cotton sheets felt like heaven against your skin.

This uninterrupted time with Billy was a blessing and you wished you could spend all your days like this, basking in his presence. He seemed to feel a similar way. He was the perfect boyfriend, but that didn't seem like the right word, he was so much more than that. Boyfriend seemed inadequate, lover seemed not enough and soul mate was way too cheesy. He just was, he was perfect, in his own way, in all the ways you needed him to be. You couldn't imagine your life without him now, utterly dependent on his presence in your life that the thought of being without him, you couldn't even imagine.

That must be how he felt when. When you were taken, how did he find you so quickly? Picking up your phone you turned it over in your hand, noticing a very small strip of plastic that you hadn't before.

Leaning against the door to his office you cough.

"What is it Sweetheart?"

“Did you put a tracker on my phone?

“Yeh, I thought you knew?” he said, closing his laptop and sliding into a drawer.

“Is that how you found me so quickly?” you said, advancing on his desk.

“Is that a problem? If I didn't-” you cut him off, making your way around his desk, perching yourself upon it between his legs.

“Do you know there's a tracker on your phone?” You smiled at him.

“No, pretty girl, I didn’t. That was very sneaky of you. Maybe I’m a bad influence on you,”

“The worst,” you purred, taking his sweater in your hands and pulling his lips up to yours, sucking his bottom lip into your mouth.

“You're still healing,” He said, moving your hands from his thighs, to his shoulders.

“I know, can’t we just,”

“We can wait until your feeling better,”

“But-” you pouted at him, god you felt desperate, it had been over a week and you were aching for him.

“Lay back then,” he kissed you, pressing your back over his desk. You obeyed, easing yourself over his desk, your hands latching onto the edge of the desk. His hands slowly pulled your sweat pants and panties down your legs, taking your feet he settled them on the arms of his chair. He began sprinkling your legs with kisses,

“Fuck, I’ve missed your pussy pretty girl,” his eyes locked onto your center, watching your wetness gather the closer his mouth came to you. His long toned arm spread over your torso to hold you still, letting out a loud moan when his tongue finally flicked through you, “So, fuckin sweet, shoulda brought you up here for breakfast,” he groaned and you squirmed, desperately seeking more, your knuckles turning white, when you arched on the desk, “I got you, pretty girl,” diving in, his tongue was everywhere, his lips sucking, his teeth nipping, his long fingers teasing your entrance.

“Please,” you moaned, feeling that familiar fire building inside you. He growled into you, finally shoving his fingers inside you, pumping them furiously, curling them, knowing where that sweet spot inside you was. Pressing on it over and over, his mouth latching onto your clit, tugging and pulling while his tongue flicked over it. Trying to thrust up into his face was hopeless, his arm pinning you firmly. “FUck, Bi-,Ye- Hmm” you moaned, almost incoherent as euphoria drenched your body and Billy's face. Not stopping, your body twitched and writhed his eyes pinning you down as much as his arm.

“Too much,” you moaned, feeling your pleasure building again. Stopping to look up at you, with another swipe of his tongue.

“This is what you asked for, pretty girl, so be good and stay still,” he smirked up at you, before lowering his head back down between your legs.

“Good morning,” you sighed, pulling the warm arm around you just that little bit tighter. It had been a week since the incident in Billy's office, your back and shoulders aching after your much needed release. But still it wasn't enough. Billy's nose nuzzled into the back of your neck, sprinkling sweet kisses on your back. Wriggling your ass into the hard length behind you.

“Sweetheart, you need to rest,” he said, his other hand coming from underneath your pillow to cup your breast. His hips gently grinding into you.

“I have rested, it’s been nearly two weeks, I can’t handle any more rest.” taking his hand and guiding it down your body.

"We'll just go slow then, let me take care of you." He kissed you softly on the shoulder, wary of the stitches that were nearly healed. His hand slid down your torso, easing his hand into your panties. The feather light touch spreading goosebumps across your flesh.The pad of this thumb began to circle your clit, his other fingers gently working their way into your core.

Billy you moaned once that finally breach the surface, gently rocking you into his hand, after another week without his touch you knew it wouldn't take much and when his fingers curled inside you, you knew you were done for. Your body tingling all over as you came apart, with Billy's hand on your breast holding you steady.

“Please fuck me, I need to feel you, need to be close to you,” you pleaded with him.

“How could I deny such a pretty girl,” he poured, slipping straight into you. This was slow calculated; he didn't want to move you too much. “Can you-” he moved his arm trying to tilt your head back, you tried not to flinch but a pain shot right up your neck “- no then.” He slipped out of you gently tugging on your waist, “lay back for me pretty girl,” he adjusted the pillows so that you were laying flat on your back, your aching shoulders at ease.

His elbows landed next to your head, carefully to be far enough away from your injuries, lacing his fingers through yours. He slowly entered you, his eyes fixed on your face, peppering you with light kisses. Your hands clasped tightly with his. It wasn't the first time he had made love to you, but the gentle and careful way he was building you up again created a new intimacy you hadn't felt with him before.

"Luckiest man alive to see you like this pretty girl,"His eyes shimmering with light while he watched you, "You're so fuckin beautiful," He pace picked up, only slightly, thrusting deeper and deeper into you. Constantly watching the pleasure he was giving you spread through your body and face. "Show me how beautiful you are when you come, pretty girl," His arms pressed into yours, as you thrust up into him, your bliss only seconds away. "Biiilly" you cried when it finally overtook you, kissing him passionately. Those sparkling obsidian eyes watch as you come undone beneath him, his kissed tell you how beautiful you were, how much he loved and adored you. Words now lost to you, all you could do is moan and purr his name, your eyes memorizing the beautiful details of his face.

Wave after wave of pleasure washed gently over you until you were both utterly spent and he fell on the mattress beside you. Carefully moving you to rest on his chest, your blissed out eyes stared up at him, a large satisfied smile beaming across your face.

“Thank You” your voice lined with sleep.

“Sweetheart?” Billy responded, tenderly stroking your cheek

“Thank you for not leaving me thank you for staying to care-” He cut you off with a finger on your lips and a serious look in his eye,

“Sweetheart, you never have to thank me. I would drown us in blood to keep you safe. It's the only thing that matters to me now.”

{Part 19}

#Summer days and summer nights #billy russo x female reader #reader x billy russo #billy russo x you #billy russo fanfic #female!reader x billy russo #billy russo x reader

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justabunchofcrowsinatrenchcoat · 3 years

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It took me fifteen years, but I have finally realized the tragedy that is the treatment of Jacob Black in the Twilight Series. Hallelujah, I have seen the light. So here's a one shot of Bella making the RIGHT choice after the newborn battle in Eclipse.

Run to You

"You could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him, you know." (Haymitch, The Hunger Games)

I was exhausted. Worrying about my family and friends being hurt, or dying, trying to protect me was exhausting. Being a weak, defenseless human surrounded by supernatural creatures was exhausting. Constantly wondering when Edward would realize that I wasn't worth all of this trouble and leave (again) was exhausting. Not recognizing the person I had become; a person who was insecure and needy and selfish, was exhausting. And him. Trying to pretend that I wasn't in love with him was the most exhausting. And I didn't want to do it anymore.

I didn't get very far before driving became impossible. I just needed to make it a little bit farther, just get past the treaty line and then I could pull over to the side of the road. I could take a few minutes to pull myself together and everything would be fine. At least that's what I kept telling myself, but it was kind of hard to see how when the road was blurring in front of me. When I couldn't see anymore, I let my tires find the rough shoulder and roll slowly to a stop. My hands shook as I put my truck in park and then quickly, almost instinctively, wrapped around my stomach, as if trying to hold myself together. Well here we are again, a voice in the back of my brain said. How many times could a person's heart be ripped in half before it refused to heal? I slumped over on the seat and allowed the weakness I'd been fighting crush me. It was worse than I thought. Yes, I had been right to hide this. No one should ever see this. Also, I was pretty sure if he had, he never would have let me go.

I wasn't alone for very long - I didn't even jump when I heard the tapping on the window of the truck. I worked to see through the relentless stream of tears obscuring my vision. There was someone standing outside of the truck, peering in through the driver's side window, probably wondering what the problem was. A blurry glimpse of a bare chest and short black hair caused my heart to clench so hard I gasped before realizing that it was just Quil. He must have been on patrol with some of the other wolves and spotted my truck on the side of the road. I pulled myself up off of the seat and fought with the door handle for a second before I was able to get it open.

"Bella?" Quil asked "Are you okay?" He paused. "Right. Stupid question. Obviously you're not okay. Sorry. Um, shit. What can I do? Do you want me to take you to Jake... or some where else...?" he seemed to tack that last part on with some hesitation, but I appreciated the thought.

What did I need? There were so many ways that I could answer that question. Therapy probably. To stop hurting everyone that I cared about, absolutely. The ability to split myself into two different people, so that I could make both Edward and Jacob happy, would be helpful. But there was only one thing that truly mattered at that moment; the reason why I was here, crying on the side of the road.

"Jacob" the name coming out more like a plea than an answer to a question. And once I started I couldn't stop. The sound of "Jacob, Jacob, Jacob." joined the sounds of sobbing and shaky gasping breaths. I couldn't tell if Quil answered me or not, and after a minute of silence I wondered if he was still there. But then I felt an arm slide behind my back and a hand grip my hip before shifting me to the side so that I was sitting in the middle of the truck's seat. Quil slid behind the wheel and pulled me in to tuck against his side before pulling the truck back onto the road. Normally I would have felt at least a little embarrassed about essentially cuddling up to someone I hadn't really spent that much time with, but Quil was warm and I was so cold. I was so tired of being cold.

Jacob

I was laying in bed when I heard the knock at the front door. Well, knock probably wasn't the right word, it sounded more like someone kicking at the door in an attempt at knocking. The weird knocking wasn't the thing that I noticed the most though. Because what was really weird was that I hadn't heard a car pull up out front first, or even the sound of someone walking up the gravel drive to the front porch. Heightened hearing was one of the perks of the whole turning into a giant wolf thing, so I usually knew right away when someone came to the house. Dr. Fang must've really overdone it on the pain meds this time. He still wasn't sure about the dosage because of my higher than average metabolism and seemed to be going with the trial and error method. Although, if I had to pick, I guess a little stoned was better than being in pain. Or physical pain anyway. The drugs were doing absolutely nothing to stop the thoughts running through my head. Well, one thought, really, repeating over and over, like a broken record. Bella, Bella, Bella…

Billy must have let whoever it was in and by the time I had focused on trying to figure out who it was, my bedroom door was being pushed open. Quil stood in the doorway cradling Bella against his chest and for a second I had a flash of a memory. Bella being carried from the woods by Sam. The haunted look in her eyes. The broken sobs. This was entirely too much like that.

"Bella! What the hell happened?! Is she okay?"

"I don't know man. I was out on patrol and saw her truck on the side of the road. I asked her what was wrong but she just kept saying your name over and over, so I brought her here." Quil hesitated like he wasn't sure what he should do now. It took every ounce of willpower I had not to jump up from the bed and get her. But I was still on "bed rest" until the doc could be sure I wouldn't re injure myself. I ground my teeth together and took a deep breath, attempting to remain calm, "Well bring her here." Quil looked relieved to have some direction and he quickly laid her on the bed next to me before leaving the room, closing the door behind him.

As soon as she was on the bed Bella curled into my side, still sobbing. I started to wrap my arms around her before remembering that the entire right side of my body was basically useless. I threw my head back against the mattress, cursing quietly out of frustration. Then settled for bringing my left hand up to start rubbing Bella's shoulder and back. "Shh, its okay. I'm here. What happened?" I had hoped that she'd look up, but when did Bella ever make things easy.

"Bells?" I tried again. Still nothing. This time I kept the cursing confined to inside my head. Or I tried to anyway.

"I'm losing my mind here Bells. You've just gotta talk to me. I'm suck here in this damn bed and I can barely fucking move and you're scaring me and I need to at least know if you're hurt. Did he hurt you?" I worked on trying to slow the tremors moving through my body. The doc would be pissed if I phased now and ruined all of his hard work. Plus Bella was freaking out enough and I had to keep it together for her. I still needed her to at least answer my question though, "Dammit Bella, just tell me what he did to you." Still no answer. She was trying to kill me with stress. That was it. That newborn hadn't finished the job, so she was going to do it. "Bella, I swear to god-"

Finally, she answered me, "He didn't hurt me," except that she could only get about one word out at a time, she was crying so damn hard. I waited for her to continue, to explain it so that I could understand, but she was quiet. Well, besides the crying.

"Okay, good, cause all of the broken bones might have made it difficult for me to kick his ass." I joked, hoping to make her laugh, or get angry, anything really as long as she stopped crying. But the tears kept pouring out of her eyes, soaking my shirt while she pulled in great mouthfuls air.

I sighed, "Bells?"

Bella whispered something against my chest, so quietly that I almost didn't hear her. But I was focused now and it sounded like she said, "They're leaving." It took me a minute to process what she was saying, partially because the pain killers made all of my thoughts sort of fuzzy around the edges. "They're leaving?" I repeated it back to her like a question, "Not 'We're leaving.'?" She just shook her head without picking it up.

"So, the Cullens are leaving. Edward is leaving. And you're not going with them." I said the words slowly, not to cause her pain, even though I'm sure it did, but because I had to be sure that I understood. That I wasn't missing something. That the tiny ray of hope that I felt starting to crawl out of the deep, dark corner of my mind where I had buried it wasn't just me setting myself up to get my heart broken (again). Bella sobbed even harder, her gasping breaths broken up by hiccups, as she nodded her head.

So, I guess the bastard couldn't handle the competition after all. I was surprised, I hadn't expected him to give up that easily. And there was the hope again. But I shoved it back down and tried to focus. Because Bella was still crying and making those ugly, broken sounds and it was my job to make her feel better. "Hey, shhh. It'll be okay, honey." I murmured before pressing my lips to the top of her head. My hand continued to rub up and down her arm and across her back. "I'm sorry. Was he mean to you? I didn't mean for you to have to go through that alone. I was thinking I'd be there. And I'm sorry he left you." Bella had gone still, but when she didn't say anything, I continued. "I mean, I'm not sorry that he's gone, but I'm sorry he hurt you. He's an idiot." And then Bella was crying again and I was failing miserably at the whole, making her feel better is my job, thing. "Shit, sorry honey, I guess that's not what you want to hear right now. But IT IS going to be okay." I stressed, because I needed her to believe me. "It sucks right now, but you've gotten through this before. And you don't have to do it alone. I'm gonna be with you the whole time, whatever it takes. Maybe this time won't be as bad because you kinda know what to expect. And I'll be good, I promise. No pressure. I'll be whatever you need me to be. And it'll be okay."

"Wait, stop," Bella interrupted my rambling. She took a deep breath and looked up at me, "Edward isn't leaving because he's mad at me for loving you. He's leaving because I asked him to. Because I'm in love with you." Her voice was all watery from crying and the tears never really stopped, but those words were still the most wonderful thing I'd ever heard. I couldn't have pushed back the hope now even if I wanted to (not that I did want to). Bella picked me. I hadn't realized until just then how much I had been preparing myself to lose. But she had really picked me. I wanted to kiss her and spin her around my tiny bedroom in circles and just show her how happy she made me. Except this wasn't like those stupid fairytale stories that Rebecca had always tried to read to me when we were kids. You know the ones; boy falls for girl, girl says no, boy is persistent, girl finally says yes, and they live happily ever after. Unless I missed the one where the girl was also in love with another boy at the same time and everyone involved got the hearts broken. Oh and one of the boys was a bloodsucking leech and the other turned into a giant wolf. Actually, there probably was one of those Grimm's fairytales that had something like that. But those didn't usually have happy endings.

No, this definitely was not a fairytale, because his girl was crying over another guy, which didn't seem like a great way to start a "happily ever after" even if it was her decision.

He wanted to talk to Bella about all of this. To figure out what she was thinking and where they would go from here, but Bella had gone back to crying into his chest and she had to be exhausted, so he would wait. He had promised to be good, afterall.

Bella

I don't how long I had been lying there, curled into the crook of Jake's arm, but it must have been a while, because he stirred a little and asked, "Hey honey, sorry, but it's getting late and I didn't know if there was somewhere you needed to be... or someone who was going to be looking for you..." he prompted. I managed to convey, after several attempts, that Charlie thought I was spending the night with Alice and that no one else needed to know where I was. He seemed satisfied with that answer and shifted to make himself more comfortable, while still keeping me tucked firmly against his side. I felt him press a kiss to the top of my head and say, "Then you should get some sleep."

He didn't say anything else after that. Just held me on the bed and let me ruin his shirt, staining it with salt water. Eventually, the sobs quieted, but the tears continued to flow steadily. It took longer than I thought it would for that smaller, broken part of me to cry herself out. It happened, though, and I was eventually exhausted enough to sleep. Unconsciousness did not bring full relief from the pain, just a numbing, dulling ease. It made it more bearable, but it was still there. I was aware of it, even asleep, and that helped me to make the adjustments I needed to make.

The morning brought with it, if not a brighter outlook, at least a measure of control, some acceptance. Instinctively, I knew that the new tear in my heart would always ache. That was just going to be a part of me now. Time would make it easier - that's what everyone always said. But I didn't care if time healed me or not, so long as Edward could be happy again. That's what had been missing the last time; the acceptance. It's what had kept me from moving forward. But this time would be different.

When I woke up, there was no disorientation. I opened my eyes - finally dry - and met his anxious gaze.

"Hey," I said. My voice was hoarse. I cleared my throat. He didn't answer. He watched me, waiting for it to start.

"No, I'm fine," I promised. "That won't happen again." His eyes tightened in concern.

"That's great, Bells, but what exactly was that?" He asked.

I took a deep breath, just because I was prepared for this conversation, didn't mean it wasn't going to be painful.

"The Cullens are leaving." I repeated my answer from last night to make sure he had understood what I had tried to tell him while also breaking down. I could see the question in his eyes, so I answered it. "Yes, Edward is leaving too. And no, I'm not going with them." As I spoke I saw a hundred different emotions flicker in Jacob's eyes. The one that seemed to be winning was hope, but then it was like he caught himself and a neutral expression settled over his features. I hated it, he wasn't My Jacob, when he made that face. But I also knew that in this case, I had no one to blame but myself. My hindsight had become incredibly clear. I could see every mistake I'd made, every bit of harm I'd done, the small things and the big things. Each pain I'd caused Jacob, each wound I'd given Edward, stacked up into neat piles that I could not ignore or deny.

"I'm sorry." I pushed myself up, using my arm to lean on his chest so that I could meet his eyes. "I've made a real mess of things. I know I've caused you a lot of pain. But I finally realized I was wrong all along." At that, Jacob took a startled breath and looked like he was about to say something. I placed a finger against his lips, and he stopped. "Just let me get this out. I don't want there to be any confusion." His brow furrowed a little, but he waited for me to continue.

"I was wrong about the magnets," I explained. "I used to think about you and Edward as magnets; that you two were like opposite magnetic poles. I couldn't push you together no matter how hard I tried. But it was actually the two parts of myself, your Bella and Edward's Bella, that I was trying to force together. But they could not exist together, and I never should have tried." I could see the hope starting to win out in Jacob's eyes as he said quietly, "I knew you'd figure it out eventually." And the corner of his mouth twitched. "But still, you mind telling me how you figured it out?"

"It was the kiss, before the battle," I paused and made an effort to look stern, "which I'm still mad at you for, by the way. Threatening to kill yourself to make me kiss you?" I raised an eyebrow. At least he had the decency to look ashamed.

I didn't have to work to be serious this time, "You will never do that to me again, got it?" Jacob glanced up from beneath his lashes and nodded. That's how I was sure that he knew he had messed up; that and the fact that he didn't try to argue with me at all. I continued, "But that's not the point right now. The point is, that when you kissed me, I saw the whole thing - our whole life. And I want it bad, Jake, I want it all. I want to stay right here and never move. I want to love you and make you happy."

"So what's stopping you?" he whispered.

"I still love him, Jake, and I don't think that'll ever go away. That's not fair to you. There's probably someone out there much better for you." My heart broke a little as I spoke, especially when I considered how much it would hurt now, if he did decide that I wasn't worth all of this trouble.

"No." Jacob shook his head. "I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would be effortless for us - comfortable, easy as breathing. I'm the natural path your life would have taken...." The corner of his lips twitched, forming a small smile. "If the world was the way it was supposed to be, if there were no monsters and no magic..."

I could see what he saw, and I knew he was right. But I needed to make sure he understood fully. "He's like a drug for me, Jake. When I was with him, he was the only thing that mattered. I was ready to give up my life for him. But it's different with you." The corner of my mouth turned up in a wistful half-smile. "Like having my own personal sun. Not a drug, but air. You're healthier for me. So I'm choosing to have the life I want. I'm choosing to stay with Charlie and my mom. I'm choosing to have the chance to change and grow. I'm choosing to stay human. There's still a lot that we need to talk about and I'm going to need time. But I think you were right before when you said that if we had enough time you could help me be happy again. So I'm going to try. I'm going to try to stay here with you. If you decide you still want me, all things considered."

I only had to wait a second for his answer, and then I only had another second to appreciate the breathtaking smile that split his features, before he pulled me to him and crushed his lips to mine.

#twilight renaissance #twilight #jacob black #team jacob

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moeyy-writes · 3 years

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Second Chance

Zak Bagans x Fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, arguing (nothing violent), mention of break-ups, happy ending (with fluff!). Oh, and a super cheesy, silly title. Let me know if I’m missing anything.

Word Count: 3.3k

My Master List

Zak lifted his head as a purple glimmer caught his eye. The room around him was loud, and the lights were flashing in a nauseatingly rapid rhythm. Why the hell did Aaron drag him to a place like this, especially when they had a lockdown the next night? He should be resting and reserving his strength, not wasting his time in some random Vegas nightclub.

It’s a good distraction, Aaron had told him. Although the music wasn’t bad, it wasn’t exactly Zak’s scene. Not anymore, anyway. He preferred less people, and more intimate conversation.

But, right now, he was mentally thanking his best friend for dragging him to this god-awful place as his eyes lifted to a familiar face in not-so-familiar clothing.

“Y/N?” He greeted you, his eyes scanning up and down your glittery purple dress. The deep cut accented your curves better than anything he had seen, and the length was shorter than he ever imagined you wearing.

Not that he was complaining one bit. You looked beautiful.

“Uh, hiya Zak.” You glanced around. “What the hell are you doing here?”

There was no way in hell Zak was there on purpose. He hated places like that, you knew that. But, you remembered seeing Aaron a few minutes earlier, which meant the other paranormal investigator wasn’t far behind.

It had been two weeks since the two of you had talked, and a day less since you had resigned from the show. The last time you talked to the blue-eyed lead investigator, he had admitted to you that he had more than platonic feelings for you. So, you ran.

It wasn’t that you didn’t share those feelings. No, it was quite the opposite. You had been harboring feelings for the older man for at least the past year, probably longer. But, there was no way he truly felt the same way. You knew Zak wasn’t the kind of person to stick around in a relationship for long, and you didn’t want to be the latest victim.

Zak glanced around, as if he was desperately searching for his partner in crime. But, the older friend was nowhere to be found. So, he relaxed his shoulders and locked his gaze on yours.

“Aaron dragged me here as a ‘distraction’. I guess that failed miserably, thank god.” He smiled sweetly, then his expression turned serious. “I’ve been calling you for days. I left voicemails. We thought something bad happened to you.”

You rolled your eyes and sighed. You didn’t want to be there either. Honestly, you had no idea why you were there. Distraction was the best word you could come up with. You were hoping to pick up someone to keep your mind off the man you wanted, but knew you could never have.

“Well, I’m alive, and I’m probably not going to be in town for much longer. I took a job in California. My condo there is going to be about a third the size and the same price as the one I have here, but it looks like a nice area.” You peered away, unable to look him directly in the eye. But, even in your peripheral vision, you could see the pain on his face.

“You’re moving? Wow. I guess I never saw that coming.” His voice was softer, almost hard to hear against the pounding music. His shoulders sank more in defeat, making your stomach ache. You knew he felt something for you, but it wouldn’t last. He’d get over you just as fast as the others you had seen come and go.

“Yeah, it’s a good gig. It’s with a news station outside of Sacramento. I’ll be editing their videos before they air.” Zak’s eyes remained wide and painful. You had been friends for years and had been on the show for about half a decade. So, it was obviously a shock to him when you resigned. It was a shock for everyone.

Billy, Aaron, and Jay had also left you multiple voicemails asking where you were and if you were okay. Hell, even Dakota reached out to see what was going on. You knew they loved you and cared, but you weren’t one for goodbyes, and you definitely didn’t want to think about Zak anymore.

“Y/N, we miss you. The last investigation wasn’t the same without you.” He stared down at his feet. “You didn’t even give an explanation. We thought you were in some kind of trouble.”

You narrowed your gaze. “Zak, don’t be stupid. You know exactly why I left.” Your body tensed. Was he really that naïve? Or was he in denial?

“What?” You rolled your eyes.

“Zak, what was our last conversation about?” You crossed your arms over your chest. He wasn’t this dumb. He wasn’t dumb at all. Sure, he had a dorky sense of humor, but he was brilliant. He had to know what was really going on.

His eyes widened again, this time in realization. “Wait, you left because I told you that I love you?” Bingo.

“Zak, do you know how many women I’ve heard you say that to, just for you to toss them to the curb within a few months? You haven’t had the best track record over the years I’ve known you.” You sighed in frustration. “You love ‘em and leave ‘em pretty quickly. I didn’t want to be another statistic.”

Zak slammed his back into the cement wall behind him. His gaze left you, hazing over with an emotion you couldn’t quite recognize. His tight, black shirt hugged his chest as he crossed his arms.

“You think I picked you as a target or something? Y/N, I wouldn’t have told you I loved you after five years if I didn’t mean it! I wouldn’t risk our entire friendship over something like that!” Zak’s chest heaved as his voice got louder. “I know I’ve had several girlfriends since I’ve met you, and I know none of them ever turned out to be much of anything. But, I didn’t know them for more than a week before things progressed. I didn’t have the time to get to know them like I know you.”

You clenched your teeth as you listened to his words. Oh, so he loved you because he knew you long enough to realize you weren’t after his money and fame? Great.

“Zak, why the fucking hell didn’t you say anything before? You’ve had five years to realize your feelings for me, to say something. We’ve traveled all over the country together for years, and we live within four miles of each other. Why are you just saying something now?” You could feel the frustration, and heartbreak, washing over you.

“Because it didn’t seem like you were going to be the one to say it.” You blinked as you took a half-step back.

“Excuse me?”

Zak smirked, pissing you off even more. “You think I didn’t notice they way you looked at me when you thought I wasn’t looking? Or how your hand lingered on my shoulder a little too long while we looked over evidence at Nerve? Y/N, I’m not blind.”

Shit. Shit, fuck, damn. He wasn’t blind at all. And, you were sure that the others saw it too. You had flirted with him for as long as you could remember, to the point that it became second nature.

“I didn’t say anything for the same reason I left. I didn’t want to be another Zak Bagans statistic.”

Zak unfolded his arms and stared at you. His eyes were dark, but not with anger, but pain. He tilted his head ever so slightly as he took a step forward.

“Y/N, do you really think I’m that much of a monster? After all of these years, spending weeks at a time with each other, do you really think that I’m incapable of loving someone?” Your heart was about to pound out of your chest. No, you didn’t think he was a monster. Hell, you loved him for how caring and kind he was to everyone around him. He may have carried a cocky, bad-boy persona, but he was really a complete marshmallow under those muscles.

“I don’t think that. I just saw a pattern and didn’t want to be a part of it.” Zak just nodded at your words, leaning back against the wall. You could see his thoughts forming behind his eyes. His face was surprisingly soft, considering his obvious anger.

Zak nodded as he sighed. “Y/N, do you know what the problem was with those other girls?” He let out a sigh. “They weren’t you—”

“Oh, don’t give me that cliché crap, Zak.” You rolled your eyes, unable to contain a frustrated chuckle.

“I mean it. I know it sounds cheesy, but you know me. That’s my humor. And, that’s my entire point. You know me, my humor, and almost everything that swims around in my weirdo brain. And, for a while, I think that scared me. But, now I know that’s something special. You get me like those other girls didn’t. I mean, you know me in ways most other people in my life don’t.”

He wasn’t wrong. When he needed someone to talk to, and Aaron was busy, he called you. He knew you’d give him an ear at three in the morning and would help him with just about anything. And, until now, it was a two-way street. He was there for you whenever you needed someone.

And that was what set you apart from the others. You bothered to know him. You quickly realized that he reached out to you even when he was in a relationship. He didn’t go to whoever he was dating at the time because they didn’t listen like you did.

They didn’t care like you did.

“Fuck,” you muttered. “Zak, I—” Tears threatened in your eyes. It was you who was blind all this time. And now you had pushed away the man you loved when he said he loved you back.

You turned away from him, squeezing your eyes shut. Who cared if your mascara was waterproof or not? You didn’t care what you looked like, or where you were anymore. All you could think about was the pain in your chest.

“I’m sorry, Zak. I have to go—”

“No! I’m not letting you walk away again. Y/N, I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. I get it. I know what you saw.” Zak reached out, gently taking you upper arm.

“It’s what I didn’t see that’s killing me now,” you muttered, nearly drowned out by the music.

Zak turned you back towards him, smiling sweetly at you. “I know. I get it. I think we both do.” He glanced around the packed room. “How about we take a step outside so we don’t lose our voices,” he suggested with his award-winning smile.

It was his softness that sent you over the edge. You let the tears fall as they nodded, allowing your best friend to lead you out of that bustling club and onto the quieter, cooler sidewalk outside.

It took you a few minutes to form another coherent thought; your mind was reeling. Zak wasn’t the monster, you were. Not that you actually thought he was a monster, but this whole situation made you feel like the biggest nightmare of a person one could ever think up. You had to just run from a scary situation instead of being a grown ass woman and expressing your fears. You had been able to openly talk about all sorts of emotions on the show when you were with the guys. But, when it came to actual adult emotions, you ran.

Very mature.

And now you probably skewed the way Zak thought of you for the worse, and there was probably no coming back.

Zak leaned down in attempt to meet your tear-filled gaze. “Y/N, tell me what you’re feeling right now.” You sucked in a whimper and squeezed your eyes shut, letting a new stream of tears free.

“I feel like a fucking idiot. I feel like I royally screwed up and I’ve ruined something I wanted for years, but never thought could happen. I-I don’t know. I don’t know what to think now.” Your voice trembled. You were tired of trying to look tough. It was too exhausting.

“You aren’t an idiot. You were scared, and you weren’t seeing the whole picture. I get that. And I forgive you, not that I really think that I need to forgive you for anything.” His hand cupped your cheek and lifted your head up. “This whole thing was a huge misunderstanding.”

“Definitely. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me most, Zak. I did what those other girls did when you needed someone. I’m so sorry—”

“No, don’t be. I told you, Y/N, I understand. Fear makes us do stupid thing. Out of everyone in the world, I know you know that.” He sucked in a long breath, then let out a shaky sigh. “I love you, Y/N. I do. I don’t just throw those words around. I love you so much, and I have for a long time. If you want to move to California, I get it.”

Shit. Fucking shitty fuck. You clenched your teeth. What the hell have you done?

“I—well—not really. Shit, Z, I really fucked up.” Your mind raced as your breathing quickened. Your head started to feel funny, but you tried to keep yourself grounded. “I mean, I haven’t sold my condo yet, and I can withdraw from my offer on the one in Sacramento. And I can decline the job. But, I left the show. I don’t have a job anymore.” Your words came out in panicked breaths as your hands clenched into fists.

Zak smirked. “Well, if you do want to stick around, I think I can pull a few strings and get you your old job back. I mean, we haven’t replaced you or anything. It’s not like we could if we tried.” You nodded slowly, taking everything in.

“Zak, I’m so sorry,” you muttered as you reached out, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. His arms quickly supported your waist, cradling you against his chest. He gently rubbed circles with one hand on your back.

“Hey, shhh, it’s okay. Y/N, it’s alright.” You nodded against his chest, repeating the mantra in your head. After a few minutes, you started to believe it. Everything was going to be okay. You were there, and you just happened to run into Zak that night. Not that you were much of a believer in fate, but that had to mean something.

After a while, you pulled away from him. You peered up at him, fully aware that you had proven your mascara was less that waterproof.

“I’m sorry Zak.” You nibbled nervously on your lower lip.

He just shook his head. “I know, Y/N. You don’t need to keep saying it. I told you, I forgive you, not that I blame you for anything.” He reached head hand out. “So, are you staying after all?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I’m staying.” Zak’s smile stretched across his lips.

“Good. And what about us?” Your heart raced like it did just a few weeks ago, when he admitted his feelings for you. But, you sure as fuck weren’t going to run this time.

“I love you too, Zak. You already know that. I know I’ve done a piss-poor job of showing that over the last few weeks. I have some catching up to do.” You finally smiled under the drying tears. Zak chuckled, shaking his head.

“Bullshit. You’ve done enough over the years. No catch up needed, just a little Dijon mustard.” You blinked for a moment, then busted into laughter. He could never pass up a pun, no matter the circumstance.

“Oh my god, Zak,” you chuckled. “Really? Now?” You couldn’t stop laughing, which only made him smile wider.

“Hey, I made you smile. I call that a win.” He wrapped his arms around you again, causing your heart to speed up yet again. This time, you welcomed the feeling, loving the way you felt at home in his arms.

You glanced up at Zak and sighed. “Well, I guess there is no point in either of us being here, huh? I mean, I look like a fucking mess, and well, I guess my original plan is no longer happening.” Zak raised in eyebrow and huffed a laugh.

“Wait, what was your original plan?” His face tensed as he came to a realization. “Never mind, I don’t want to know. Either way, you look stunning.” You blushed under the streams of black mascara you were sure were plaguing your face.

“Thanks, Zak.”

You glanced around, eyeing the door as people came and went around you. You had totally forgotten about Aaron. Had Zak driven there with him? Or was Zak Aaron’s ride home?

“I hope Aaron is okay in there,” you mentioned casually, not wanting to sound too nosy. Zak’s eyes widened.

“Oh, man. He probably thinks I either went home with someone or got lost. Probably the latter.” Zak reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. His screen was littered with notifications, probably from Aaron. Zak rolled his eyes. “Yep, he thinks I’m lost.” You both laughed.

“Did he drive you here? Is he okay to drive home?” Zak shook his head.

“Nah, we got a cab. He’s probably loaded. We should fine him before he hurts himself.” Zak and you rolled your eyes in sync, then laughed. He was probably right, there was no way Aaron and alcohol were ever a good mix, especially when he was alone.

“Good idea.” You took Zak’s arm and made your way for the door.

Zak paused a few steps from the door. “Did you drive here?” You shook your head. “Do you want to ride with us? We can go back to my place for a while and just, I dunno, do something boring. If you want to talk more, we can do that. Or, we can just watch a movie or whatever. I just know that I don’t like being alone after emotional situations like this, and I know you’re the same way.” He placed his hand over yours, which rested softly on his arm. “No pressure.”

He knew you all too well.

“Yeah, that actually sounds great. I wouldn’t mind a movie in your fancy shmancy theater.” You grinned as Zak chuckled.

“Deal. I don’t know what my inventory situation is on popcorn, but we’ll survive.” You nodded in agreement, then went to take a step towards the door, but Zak gently stopped you. You turned to him, raising a brow.

“Zak?” He just smiled at you for a moment.

“One more thing.” You should have seen this coming. He reached out and took your jaw gently in his other hand, then leaned in, pressing his lips to yours.

You gasped as you made contact, but quickly eased into it. He lingered, letting out a low laugh, before pulling away. You followed him as he leaned back, not wanting to separate just yet.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” Zak whispered. You rolled your eyes and shoved his chest. He truly was the king of cliches.

“Oh my god, you cheeseball! One serious moment is all I ask of you!” you teased, before taking his arm again.

“You’ll get one of those at some point, hopefully.” You rolled your eyes for the millionth time.

“Way to keep me on my toes, handsome,” you retorted. Then, you followed him back into the club in search of your friend.

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