i know that this is the life i have chosen for myself by hating texting with a burning passion but still wanting to be close to ppl. but oh my god does it suck to have to say 'let's look ahead to next week' to my literal actual brother who i love so much. scheduling phone calls almost worse than paying attention to notifications

Terrigenisis (Part 10)

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Bucky Barnes X Inhuman!Reader

Words: 1669

Summary: After undergoing terrigenisis unwillingly your life is turned upside down when you are deemed too dangerous to return to life as a civilian. You are put with the Avengers team to train and rebuild. As you hone your powers and skills, you must also decide if you can find home and love again. Or is your curse to be a lonely wanderer forever?

Warnings: Fluff and SMUT (18+, NSFW)

Terrigenisis Series Masterlist       Divider by @firefly-graphics

As the months went by, the relationship between Steve, Bucky, and yourself became more and more solid. You talked about the future, made plans, and worked through the few issues that had arisen. There had been missions and you had become an integral part of the team. You were happy. You had a job you loved, two men you loved, a home, and a family in your team. It was idyllic. Which terrified you at times. When the fear began to overwhelm you, Bucky and Steve were there for you. They let you express your fears and helped you through them. 

You were gearing up for a mission to take out a large Hydra base that had been recently discovered. The intel on its existence was solid even though what was going on there was a mystery. Some information had been gleaned through surveillance but it was mostly pictures of  objects with an alien language. Thor and Loki were expected to arrive today to help and give some information on what these items could be. 

The team was awaiting their arrival in the conference room except Steve and Tony who were greeting them. You were going over mission details and making tactical plans with the available information.

“So, what are Thor and Loki like?” You ask the group in general. 

“Thor’s a good guy. Nice. A little terse at times. Intense.” Bruce replies.  

“What about Loki?” You look at Bruce. 

“He’s a bag of cats. He’s trying to be… different. Better, I guess. That’s why he’s coming. Thor is trusting him. I guess we’ll have to try, too.” Bruce shrugs as Natasha scoffs. 

“Be careful around Loki. There’s a reason he’s the god of mischief.” Natasha warns.

“Noted.” You say just as they walk in. You immediately smile when you catch Steve’s eye but turn your attention to the two Asgardians as they enter. Steve makes introductions as Tony pulls up the intel photos for the two gods. 

“This looks to be Kree.” Thor states. 

“It is.” Loki confirms as he swipes through the photos. 

“Kree?” You say bringing Thor’s attention to you.

“Yes. They-”

“Created Inhumans.” 

“Yes. You are familiar with the Inhumans?” Thor asks. 

“I am an Inhuman.” You watch the two for any reaction. 

“Ah, a fellow abomination.” Loki grins. “What are your powers?”

You stare Loki down for a moment. Interpreting no malice in his remarks, you reply, “Warging, understanding of all vocal communication, increased strength and stamina.”

“Interesting.” Loki narrows his eyes.

“Warging?” Thor asks and you give him a brief explanation. 

Going back to the available information, the team gleans all it can to formulate a plan. Afterwards, everyone moves to the common room to relax while Tony has a meal brought in. 

“Loki has been watching you the entire time we’ve been in here.” Natasha murmurs to you. 

“Novelty, I guess.” You shrug. 

“Maybe so. Are you okay?” 

“Just have a headache all of a sudden.” You say. 

“Want me to get you something?”

“No, I’ll-mmph! Ow. It feels like an icepick in my head.” You say. 

Natasha’s eyes widen and her head snaps up, “Loki, stop!”

You make eye contact with the god and feel another stab of pain. Realizing he is trying to get in your head, you push back at the feeling. 

“What are you doing, brother?” Thor grabs his arm. 

“I just wanted to see how far her capabilities went, brother. She began fighting me. Strong, this one.” Loki smirks. 

“Keep your mind games to yourself, Loki!” Steve growls. 

“No, it’s okay.” You say. “Try.”

“What?” Steve turns to you with a stern look. 

“I want to see if he can. I can’t know how far my abilities go if I don’t push them. Most of my powers have to do with my senses. I’m just curious.” You shrug.

“Doll, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” Bucky warns. “It was obviously causing you pain.”

“It’s not a big deal. Will you try again, Loki?” You ask. 

“At your service, darling.” Loki grins and concentrates on you again. Your head aches almost immediately and the sharp stabbing pain returns but you fight back against it. Using the same thought process you use when warging you concentrate on Loki, pushing back against his mental invasion. The pain in your head increases the more you fight back but you aren’t willing to stop. You feel a surge from Loki and automatically push back at him with a mental force that suddenly turns your eyes green as the god’s and you realize you have entered his mind. Intense pain spikes through you bringing you to your knees as you grab the sides of your head. A scream tears from your throat before you black out. 

You wake in Bucky’s arms as he takes quick strides towards the elevator. 

“Bucky. I’m okay.” You say. 

“You passed out. You aren’t okay.” Bucky says firmly. 

“We’re just going to take you to get checked out, sweetheart.” Steve says from right beside you. 

“No, I’m fine. Put me down.” You squirm in Bucky’s arms. 

“Doll-” “Sweetheart-”

“Down! Now!” You all but shout. Bucky reluctantly lowers you to the floor and you stand, holding his shoulder for support. “Well, that was new.”

“What did Loki do to you?” Steve growls.

“I only did as she asked.” Loki defends himself. “She managed to fight my attempts. It was quite impressive. Not many can keep me out of their mind as she did. And then, she slipped into my mind. It probably overwhelmed her as she’s not used to such an exertion.”

“Agreed.” You say. “I’ve never been able to do that with a human before.”

“You were probably able to because I have to open my mind in order to reach out. That was admirable.” Loki says. 

“Uh, thanks?” You laugh lightly. 

“Did you see anything?” Loki asks with eyes narrowed.

“It was pretty jumbled.” You admit.

“That’s normal for a first timer. Come, let’s discuss our little experiment.” Loki wraps your hand around his arm and guides you away from your two supersoldiers who glare at Loki as the two of you sit on the loveseat. When dinner is ready, you sit at the table between Bucky and Steve. Loki is seated across from you with Thor next to him and the table is jovial as everyone enjoys the company and food. You notice that Loki retreats into himself during the meal. As soon as the meal is over, you approach Loki again to ask more questions about his abilities. Everyone drifts into the common room while you and Loki sit at one end of the table and talk. He has a great deal of knowledge regarding the Kree, Inhumans, and different abilities. You learn more in two hours than you had in the six months with your Inhuman team. 

“Hey Doll. We’re heading to the room.” Bucky approaches to say. 

“Okay, Love. I’ll be there shortly.” You smile up at him as he leans down to plant a quick kiss on your lips. 

Loki watches as Bucky leaves with a smirk, “So, you and Sergeant Bar-”

“Sweetheart, you coming to bed?” Steve interrupts. 

“Soon, Babe. Loki is giving me some history on the Kree.” 

Steve eyes Loki for a moment before leaning down to kiss you possessively “Don’t be too long.”

“I won’t.” You smile at him as he leaves. Turning back to Loki, it’s your turn to smirk, “Yes, Me and Bucky and Steve.”

“That was unexpected.” Loki raises an eyebrow. 

“I imagine not much surprises you.” You laugh.

“Very little.” Loki says. 

“You know, I was prepared to hate you but… you aren’t exactly what I was expecting.” 

“I was under the influence of other entities during the Battle of New York. It spoke to the basest part of me. I know I’ll never fully make up for it but I’m hopeful I can do some good to set it to rights.” 

“I’m sure you will. Do some good, that is. I should head to bed. Good night, Loki.”

“Good night.” Loki nods his head and joins his brother. 

You were impressed with him. Truthfully, you had planned on hating him. After all, he had killed Coulson but when you had slipped into his mind you had felt his remorse. You were honest when you told him that everything was jumbled. The memories and images that came through had been but his feelings had been loud and clear. Inferiority, remorse, contrition, fear, and hope had suffused you when your minds were joined. It had softened you towards him and you hoped that he could find some corner of redemption in all of this. 

When you get to the bedroom, you pause a minute to smile at Steve and Bucky cuddled up together in the bed. 

“Come join us, pretty girl.” Steve beckons. 

“What were you and Loki talking about that kept you so enthralled?” Bucky groused. 

“Careful, Buck. You almost sound jealous.” You laugh. “We were talking about the Kree and inhumans and different abilities. I learned a good bit from him. Loki offered to bring some information and writings when he comes again.”

“He doesn’t usually talk to any of us much when he’s around.” Steve says. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. Usually all we get out of him is sly remarks.” Bucky says. 

“Huh. Probably a defense mechanism. He feels he has a lot to make up for and know no one really likes him.” You offer.

“How did you find that out?” Steve asks.

“When we did the Vulcan mindmeld. I could feel what he was feeling more than anything else. It told quite the story in and of itself.”

“Loki is a master manipulator.” Steve warns.

“I understand.” You reassure them. “And we leave for mission tomorrow for who knows how long. Is there anything you'd like to do before that happens?”

“Yeah.” “Definitely.” They speak at the same time. 

“What would that be?” You ask. 

“You.” They say in unison.

Part 11

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@sammysdewysensitiveeyes - I felt bad you weren’t getting a lot of Pyro content in canon, so I wrote you some!

The next member of their team was meant to be arriving today. She was going to be a...most unusual addition. She was human. Pyro didn’t like it. The entire POINT of Krakoa was to keep away from humans who would hurt them. And sure this human allegedly very much did NOT want that, it was why Xavier handpicked her to be involved, and Xavier could vet a person inside and out...but Pyro couldn’t help WORRYING. Maybe she wasn’t a conscious plant, but what if someone was using her without her knowing? How was Xavier checking for THAT? Maybe the rest of Krakoa was happy to put their fate in the hands of men like him and Magneto and Sebastian Shaw, but Pyro was of the firm opinion that the guys on top never really had the best interest of the bottom at heart. But that didn’t mean he’d pass up a chance to roast some Verendi pigs, which was what had just been provided---the ship of their new ally had been attacked en route, big surprise, and thus the current crew of the Marauder---Sebastian, Shinobi, and Pyro---had been deployed to intervene. Shinobi kept their own boat safe while Pyro and Sebastian boarded the other---just in time to witness one of the Verendi hurling a sari-clad woman off the deck by her throat. “Allerdyce, take care of the rest,” said Shaw, tearing his shirt and jacket off with his bear---er, bare---hands. Not taking it off, literally TEARING. “Are you kidding?!” Pyro asked, shocked both at Shaw’s apparent intentions and at how beefed up the old bastard was under those tailored suits. Like he had eyes, he could tell the guy was huge, but JEEZUS. “I’m not having my team fail this early,” Shaw said, “And besides--” The rest came out mid-air as he dove into the drink, “--you’re hardly in swimming shape.” Secretly hoping he ‘teammate’ drowned, Pyro returned to the fray, gleefully keeping the Verendi at bay with his flames. That was the easy part. The hard part was not blowing them up in their stupid suits, or boiling them alive, or--- “ALLERDYCE!” he heard the oh-so-charming shout of his new ‘boss’ barking for him, just as the fun was over. “What, did you--” Pyro started to ask as he hustled over, admittedly not as fast as he could have. “Do the damn chest compressions!” Shaw cut him off. The woman, soaking wet and unconscious--or worse--was laid out on the deck. “Why--” “Because at my current strength I will pulverize her bones!” Shaw bellowed. Pyro didn’t like taking orders from Shaw, but he wasn’t about to let this lady die right in front of him either if half of what he’d heard about her was true, no matter what his misgivings might be about involving her in the Marauders. So he duly obeyed with the compressions, as well as mouth to mouth just so Shaw couldn’t. Because f this woman was an ally to mutantkind she deserved better than that. It worked. She gasped, her body jolting. “Alright, there she is” said Shaw, “You keep her conscious, Allerdyce---someone has to steer this ship.” With that, he departed to find the helm and radio Shinobi to let him know all was well, and knock out any remaining hostiles. Pyro glared at his back as he went, but then quickly turned his attention back to the semi-conscious woman, who was moving slightly now, her eyes glazed. She said something unsteadily in a foreign language. Well, in a language that wasn’t English; Pyro had been a foreigner in Southeast Asia and learned it really a matter of perspective. Speaking of that... “That Gujarati, love?” he asked gently. He couldn’t speak it nor understand it, but he thought he recognized it. He’d never got as far as India in his travels as a journalist, but he’d encountered this language in Singapore, Indonesia, and Malayasia. Sounded a bit different from her though, maybe because she was from India directly. Or just because she was terribly waterlogged. She mumbled something else weakly in the same tongue, putting one of her hands to her head. “I’m sorry, I don’t speak it,” he said, truly apologetic. The was woman silent for a moment, and her eyes closed. Oh no. Had he lost her? God, Shaw was never going to let him hear the end of it! Then she opened them, and said, “I apologize, I do speak English, I just...needed a moment.” “Take two, you earned ‘em,” Pyro smiled relieved. She began sitting up slowly, and Pyro helped her. “I...assume you saved me?” “Well, I helped,” he said, then amended, “Someone else go you out from the drink but I did the rest, getting you breathing again and all.” “Thank you, so much, I really have no idea what to say,” she sounded rather awed. Oh man, he’d forgotten what it was like to be a superhero! He’d never much cared for that life in general, the idea of just DOING things for people for nothing in return, especially people who HATED you for EXISTING as a mutant, but there had been a few times in Freedom Force like this where he felt really GOOD when people were actually grateful. “Aw it’s---it’s nothing, all in a day’s work really,” he said, puffing his chest as best he could, which was nigh-imperceptible given how skinny he was. “You have my deepest gratitude all the same. You also have a good ear---that was indeed Parsi Gujarati. “Ohhh!” Pyro was pleased he’d been right, “Is that why it sounded a bit off from what I heard ‘round Jakarta?” “You do indeed have a good ear! Yes, it’s very distinct. For instance, we use much softer consonants-- They were interrupted by Shaw’s sardonic tone over the intercom, “ I can see our guest is conscious, Mr. Allerdyce, so if you’re quite done flirting, send her to the helm for briefing before we get to the portal. At your leisure, of course.” Pyro did not say ass aloud but it was very, very much written on his face. *** Pyro was waking up waaay to early at Blackstone, specifically in Shinobi’s ridiculously oversized bed, Shinobi himself beside him. Pyro could tell his companion was going to be out cold for a long time yet, and probably wish he’d slept longer when he did wake up. Pyro would have preferred to just stay in bed himself, but nature called. And after a good long piss into the en suite bathroom---kind of surprised that the toilet wasn’t solid gold, although it did have more features than Shinobi’s phone---Pyro himself had yet to adjust to fancy celluars---found himself restless, and undergoing his typical post-drinking cravings for something salty. Kind of weird since wasn’t booze supposed to dehydrate you, but whatever, old man Shaw surely had some kind of super-fancy dried unicorn meat from a lost continent or whatever hanging around somewhere. He just needed to find it. But the place was a maze. Gilded maze, he made a mental note of that for one of his novels as he wandered the huge halls, intending to use it in the internal monologue of the heroine lost in the Marquis’s opulent mansion that nonetheless held an overbearing evil in its walls as potent and palpable in the air as that in his black heart. Actually shit, some of the decor in this place would make for great--- “Wider than a highway, huh?” Pyro had been so lost in cataloguing the fancy bric-a-brac along the way that he’d not noticed it had been joined by a flesh and blood person. Well, maybe flesh and blood, they looked silver. Certainly all the skin he could see was, which was a lot given their short little black robe, though he in his boxers certainly wasn’t about to be scandalized. Wait, silver skin? “Mindmeld, right?” “Shinobi tell you about me?” she was smirking a little. “Yeah, something like that,” he replied. It was suddenly really hard not to say something rude, given WHAT Shinobi had told him, but reminded himself if this woman was fucking Shaw, she deserved PITY more than anything. Plus it wouldn’t do to piss off her off before she told him where she got that coffee cup in her hand. “He didn’t tell me where to find the kitchen though.” “Which one?” Oh god of course there’d be more than one, Shaw probably didn’t want his food prepared in the same area as Shinobi’s guests since they were all people like Pyro. He groaned, lowering his head and burying his long bony fingers in his dandelion puff blond curls, “Just whichever one has some eggs and espresso.” “Come on,” she gestured lightly and turned, leading the way. Damn tall drink of water, might have been taller than Shaw, though far less broad than he was, but more so than Pyro...admittedly, that range probably covered almost everyone on the planet. She didn’t ask his name, so he offered his with some pride, “I’m Pyro, I’m one of the Marauders.” “Neat.” “‘Spect Mr. Shaw has a few things to say about me.” She looked mildly thoughtful a moment, “Uh...no, never mentioned you. I think I’ve heard the Marauders, but not Pyro.” “How about Mr. Allerdyce?” “Definitely not.” Ok, he was kind of insulted now, not by Mindmeld but he took it out on her anyway with a snippy, “Well he hasn’t mentioned you either.” She just gave him a funny look.” “Sorry,” he said abashed at how stupid and spiteful he sounded, “We just don’t get on too well, me and Sebastian.” “What a surprise.” “So you know he’s a pompous asshole.” “Oh yeah, it’s hilarious,” she said, “Like the other day,  these two like, total Eurotrash blonds come in, and he told them they were living proof of how inbreeding ruined the royal Austrian family tree or something, I don’t know, and I just told the guy he shouldn’t wear black if he’s not going to clean the semen stains off it first. The girl, her outfit was great, but nothing I could say was going to be worse than that Basic Bitch haircut.” “So what, you two just hang around talking shit about everyone else like we’re dirt on your shoes?!” Any regret he had about being snippy was suddenly gone. “Yeah, pretty much,” she said, her blase tone not changing. He started to say something else but she turned her head to him and said, tone still the same, “Look, if you’re gonna get precious, I can leave you right here. Next person to find you will probably be him, you know. He’s always up crazy early.” It was a potent threat. Normally Pyro was not afraid at all to deal with that hirsute egomaniac, but in his current state, he was not fit for the battle of barbs. “No, no, lead the way,” he sighed. “Cool,” Mindmeld turned her gaze front again and added, “Sorry you’re mad I’m his dick puppet.” If Pyro had a liquid in his mouth he would have spit it out. He must have made some kind of sound, because she asked, “What, Shinobi not mention that?” “He uh...he mentioned it a lot, yeah. “Good,” she smiled at him, and turned away. Weird. They got to small kitchen, very normal looking. So much so that it felt almost surreally out of place. “Drip’s over there,” Mindmeld pointed. Okay, nice, Shaw had a proper espresso machine. No surprise, he probably kept a full roasting machine and French press and other fancy barista shit in HIS kitchen---he was obviously not using THIS one. While he put on the drip, Mindmeld sat down and started playing idly with a phone left on table, obviously hers. Pyro was sure the bowl of Lucky Charms next to it surely wasn’t Sebastian Shaw’s. “You uh, live here?” “Yeah basically,” she did not look up from her phone, “Beats public housing.” Pyro realized he hadn’t thought about how everyone on Krakoa was living; he’d been basically on a boat the whole time himself. “What, is it bad?” he asked, imagining the crowded slums he’d seen in some of his travels, as well as the crappier apartments he’d stayed in, which was most. “Nah, but this is better.” “Yeah well, the rent seems high to me.” “You just have a different landlord.” “Hey, I’m nobody’s kept--” The espresso shot was ready, and it going off gave him a moment to cool down again. “Sorry, there’s nothing wrong with...with you,” he said, after taking his cup and sitting down across from her, “I just feel bad for Shinobi, he says you two used to be..” . “Together? Kinda, yeah. He tell you the part where he left me to die? or before that, where I was stuck in somebody else’s body and he was still ready to put the guy through a depowering machine while I was inside him?” “I, uh...no.” Was there some kind of mistake? He’d thought Shinobi was harmless. He knew the guy was selfish and spoiled, but it was hard to imagine him that cold. “Yeah, I bet not,” she said, her tone still the same, “He doesn’t seem like he has it in him, does he?” “Uh...no.” “Well, even a rat will bite if it’s back is against the wall,” her eyes rose from her phone and met his intensely, “So if you’re in deep shit, don’t count on him to pull you out.” They went back to her phone,  “He’s beautiful though so, you know, keep doing what you’re doing, I’m not judging.” “Uh...” Pyro had no idea what to say to this, “So is that why...” He had thought it had been money, since anything Shinobi had was actually coming from Sebastian, but now he wondered if it was for... “Vengeance? Pyro nodded. “Could you think of a BETTER way?” Pyro admitted he could not. “You must be pretty dedicated,” he said, still not able to get the ‘ick’ feeling quite out. It wasn’t the idea of sex for benefits his skin was crawling at, it was sex with SHAW. He supposed he could see the physical appeal if that man wasn’t so personally repulsive, but... “I mean, I just came back to life like this month” she shrugged idly, “I’ve got nothing from before to go back to, I’ve got nothing else going on.” “I don’t know, you look like you got it going on to me,” Pyro gave an exaggerated wink. That made her snort-laugh. Okay, he felt they were good now. And he felt suddenly a lot warmer to her. Not from knowing she had better reasons than he thought---the reasons unsettled him actually---but because of how similar their situations were. A situation doubtless shared by many Krakoans but he hadn’t had a real chance yet to talk to many Krakoans. He had planned to spend today fixing that actually, going and finding out if what few friends he’d had in his life before were here now. Like Dom. Wondered if Mindmeld had any, a Dom or a Mort or a Fred. Kinda doubted it, somehow. “Hey, uh, listen,” he began. She looked up from her phone. “Do you wanna go...check out the island with me? I been at sea since I came back, I don’t know what’s on it, but there’s got to be SOMETHING people been doing all day for fun, right?” She regarded him a long moment. “Yeah,” she finally said, “I’d like that."

American Gods 2x05 “The Ways of the Dead” Review

This was one heavy episode, fam. Written by Rodney Barnes, the fifth episode sees Shadow learning the ways of the dead with the help of Mr. Ibis and Mr. Nancy at the funeral parlor in Cairo. Like almost everything about this show, he isn’t learning about it in the most straightforward of ways because who has ever been straightforward with Shadow in his life? That way of living just doesn’t simply exist in this universe. We also see Mad Sweeney and Laura embarking on their own adventure to New Orleans for some voodoo practice. Oh yeah, and Mr. Wednesday is as elusive as ever and he’s trying to be a wingman to Salim and the Jinn because there doesn’t appear to be any happiness in paradise on that front at the moment.  

So this episode starts with a sequence of events from yesteryear. Trigger warning for those that need it: a black man is being lynched for, what appears to be, the death of a white woman. His body is then shot at, kicked, prodded, and dragged in the dirt. It’s all incredibly demeaning and gross. This all, however, appears to be an incredibly powerful dream of Shadow’s. He wakes up, naked, with the cat meowing in his ear. (Remember last episode, y’all?  How many repeat performances is Shadow going for?) He makes his way to the mirror and he grabs the shaving razor and holds it to his throat. He looks at himself in the mirror and sees his head surrounded in flames. Shadow manages to release the razor and is greeted by the dead man from his dreams. Just like a ghost, the man vanishes, but Shadow is still very clearly shaken. Can Shadow just have one night’s rest, PLEASE?

Looking for answers, he heads downstairs and is met with Wednesday peeing on a plant, chanting. Not a sight one wants to see first thing in the morning. Anyways, Wednesday kind of brushes off Shadow’s assistance for the day, telling him he has places to go and people to see by himself. I can only imagine how frustrated Shadow must be feeling. He knows he’s needed by Wednesday, but Wednesday has a habit of just pushing him to the side and not being as forthcoming as he should be. Wednesday leaves Shadow with Mr. Ibis for the day and, honestly? This is the best storyline of the episode.  

A young black man, who we learn is named Jamarr Goodchild (Percy Anane-Dwumfour), crosses paths with Mr. Nancy on his way to a drug dealer’s house. He gets a small packet of a white, powdery substance and, as he’s leaving the house, a cop busts him. He ends up swallowing the packet and makes a run for it. At a deadend street, he comes face-to-face with the very same man that Shadow saw that morning, except it’s just his head on a stake covered in flames. While completely paralyzed in fear, the boy is wrestled to the ground and arrested by the cop that was chasing him.  

The boy ends up on Mr. Ibis’ table with cuts and lesions all over his body with the reason for death being an opioid overdose. The marks all over this boy’s body resembled those of the man in Shadow’s dream. Mr. Ibis tells the story of Will James (Warren Belle), a black man who had the unfortunate encounter of crossing paths with a white woman, who later ended up dead. All the witnesses to this encounter (i.e. white people) went to the sheriff and, from there, Will was hanged, shot, beheaded, and his body desecrated. “Memento mori” is what Will utters to the men he shows himself to. “Remember that you have to die.” It’s a death sentence to these black men.  

If the name “Goodchild” rung a bell, you’d remember that Ruby Goodchild (Mouna Traoré) was mourning her grandmother in the last episode. Jamarr was her brother. She had lost two family members in a matter of days. The only reason why Jamarr went to the drug dealer’s house was because he had lost his grandmother and was in mourning. We catch up to Ruby back at the funeral parlor as Mr. Ibis is putting together Jamarr’s body. Ruby’s chatting with her preacher, Reverend Hutchins (Glynn Turman). Ruby had been wanting to leave Cairo with Bilquis, but the reverend and Bilquis believe grief is clouding her judgement. (Can I just say that I love Bilquis and her quest to learn more about companionship between people and their faith?) Ruby is losing her faith due to her loss, that much is very clear to see.

Mr. Nancy makes his entrance during storytime between Mr. Ibis and Shadow and Shadow ends up leaving because Mr. Nancy always finds a way to piss him off. Once it’s just the two gods, Mr. Nancy accuses Mr. Ibis of purposefully killing his worshippers in that town because, you see, Mr. Ibis seems to have a steady income of dead black people. Mr. Ibis and Will James working together in that way.  

When Shadow ventures out to cool off, he gets some one-on-one time with Will James. Will worships death. He sees it as a sweet release from his brutal death at the hands of white people. As Mr. Ibis was telling Shadow during storytime, Will felt abandoned by his own people when he was dying. Will ends up possessing Shadow. He tells Shadow, “You are unlucky. You are unloved. Walk with my burden. When you share it with the world, I will release you.”

Shadow returns to the funeral parlor right at the end of the Reverend's sermon for Jamarr. There’s a literal flicker in Shadow’s eyes that prove that it’s actually Will James who is speaking. Ricky Whittle does some of the best acting of the series this episode. His whole body is no longer Shadow. He is a man possessed. Shadow goes on to say that he once believed that death overpowered life. Now, he looks into the soul of death and welcomes it. “Memento mori.”  

We catch up with a drunken mess of a Mad Sweeney in New Orleans. Laura has caught up to him and I absolutely cannot stand this storyline, but I’ll do my best to get through it. They go looking for Sweeney’s voodoo friends who can help bring life back to Laura Moon and Sweeney can get his lucky coin back. That’s all it is. That’s all it should be. That’s all it’s apparently not going to be. We’re introduced to the lovely Maman Brigitte (Hani Furstenberg) and Baron Samedi (Mustafa Shakir), the most lively of guest stars this episode has to offer.  

Food and drink is offered to Sweeney and he seems to be having a grand time, surrounded by lovely women. Laura is shown on her own in the crowded bar where Maman Brigitte and Baron Samedi reside. I’m having an awfully difficult time actually believing that this show wants us to see Sweeney and Laura as having a romantic connection. These two have been nothing but toxic to each other since they’ve met. Sure, we’ve seen Sweeney grow softer towards Laura, but has Laura returned the gesture? Not that I’ve seen. She still won’t do us all a favor and just give Sweeney his coin back. Sweeney feels responsible for Laura’s death. Mr. Wednesday and he played a part, but Laura was just as negligent in her life as she is in her death. She played her part too. She was destined to die and I wish she had just stayed dead, or at least her part was just as miniscule as it was in the book.  

When the crowd leaves the bar, that’s when the foursome can finally sit and talk about why they are all there. Maman Brigitte knows Laura is just as much of a cheater as her Samedi is. I don’t know why Laura has the nerve to look insulted at that. The facts are that she did cheat on her husband and she died while committing adultery. Brigitte seems to not mind Samedi’s cheating ways because, at the end of the day, Samedi worships her even when he’s fucking other women. I think that is...so gross. I will never have any sympathy for Laura’s plight, yet everyone seems just fine with it. Laura hasn’t even really apologized to Shadow for cheating on him with his best friend. Samedi kindly informs Laura that she betrayed Shadow when she told him she loved him the first time, not believing she meant it at all. You know what? Thinking back to “Git Gone” in Season 1, I can definitely see that. Laura was just drifting through life. She was dead behind the eyes before she was even close to dying. She had an apathetic way of living.  

Anyways, Samedi cannot resurrect Laura yet. He brews some kind of remedy, but is still missing an ingredient. He needs “blood infused with love”, whatever that means. It’s the closest Laura has gotten to life yet and it’s still just out of reach. Samedi asks for truth as payment. He asks what she will do with this second chance at life. Instead of answering, they start hooking up. While Samedi and Laura are getting hot and heavy inside the bar, Maman Brigitte and Mad Sweeney get hot and heavy outside. It’s the weirdest paralleling sex scene I have yet to witness, especially when it actually stops paralleling. In a show that has had nothing but creative sex scenes, you’d think this one was pretty normal, by comparison. Well, it was at first. Through magic and a sex haze, Maman Brigitte and Laura switch partners. (Keep in mind the two parties were in different locations.) In some sort of mindmeld, Laura and Sweeney ended up fucking each other. They knew what was happening and they still went with it.  

I don’t know if this ship is sailing or not because they are still as toxic as ever and that’s proven by their behavior the morning after the sexcapades. One thing is for certain, Laura and Sweeney got played. Laura is accusing Wednesday and Sweeney of continuously fucking her over and that Sweeney is just Wednesday’s little errand boy and whore. Well, honey, Sweeney actually hates Wednesday. He doesn’t work for him, but he does owe him. These gods have an alliance to each other and hold each other accountable. If one owes another a favor, they stay true to that bond. There’s something admirable about that.   

While all this is going on, Wednesday catches up to the Jinn and Salim. The Jinn and Salim were discussing Salim’s devout faith to his god. Without fail, it seems as if Salim never misses a prayer. The Jinn seems perturbed by it. He doesn’t fully understand what Allah has done for Salim to be so devout to the monotheistic god. In a world that has shown Salim that there are many gods, why is Salim so devout to just the one? As a strong Muslim, Salim quotes the first pillar of Islam, “There is no god, but one God.” This seems to be a never-ending conversation between the two that seems to leave the Jinn feeling frustrated.  

Luckily, that’s when Wednesday makes his boisterous entrance. The Jinn and Salim have brought Odin his spear and they are now off to see the King of the Dwarves, Alviss (Lee Arenberg). Alviss has no interest in joining Wednesday’s war. Wednesday tries to bribe Alviss with the offer of fixing up his spear. Alviss knows he’s the best forger amongst the dwarves. However, he points out that it’s the runes on the spear that need work. For that, Wednesday will need to find Dvalin. A quick google search shows that Dvalin is the one who introduced rune writing to the dwarves. Needing to regroup, the trio split up and head to Cairo. Wednesday takes Betty and the Jinn and Salim are back on the motorcycle and sidecar.  

The episode ends with Wednesday back in the funeral parlor with Mr. Ibis, Mr. Nancy, and Shadow. Shadow is no longer possessed and he’s mad. He wants to know what happened to him. He wants to know what Will James wanted with him. The three gods play it off and continue joking. They never give Shadow a straight answer. They continue to play with Shadow and his thoughts and emotions and that’s a really hard thing to see. Shadow keeps getting pulled back and forth by these gods. He must be exhausted.  

Some thoughts on the episode:

I’ve got to say: I really hate how much they hang black men on this show. First Shadow and now this man, Will James.  

I very much love just how diverse this show is. I can’t recall another drama like this one growing up. There’s quite a few out now, but I’m most proud of this one.

Mr. James, I assure you that Shadow is VERY much loved.  

If I said it once, I’ll say it a million times: Just kill off Dead Wife already.

I could watch hours upon hours of just Shadow, Ibis, and Nancy just shooting the shit.

I want Bilquis to take Ruby under her wing.

Mr. Wednesday was extremely aloof this episode and I kind of love that careless attitude (when it’s not directed at Shadow).  

Ricky Whittle is a talented son of a bitch and I stan Shadow Moon to the moon and back.  

American Gods airs Sundays at 8/7c on Starz.

Sarah’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

Challenging Party

This is my secret santa gift for @forfuckssakejim.  They asked for something cute with Michael and Tilly, maybe meeting Spock.

So here it is. I hope you enjoy it :D

You can also read it on AO3!

Parties were still a mystery to Michael. At least this one was more formal than the last one she attended. She wasn’t the only one that was wearing her formal uniform. Still, she felt out of place, not sure how she should engage in this kind of emotional celebration. Remaining near the wall she hoped not to get noticed. However she had forgot that Tilly was here too.

“So who is he?” she asked, taking a sip from her colourful beverage.

A little confused, Michael furrowed her brow. “Who are you referring to?”

Tilly rolled her eyes. “The handsome Vulcan over there who you keep staring at as if no one else were in this room.” Tilly slid closer. “You think he’s cute?”

Michael blinked a few times in irritation. Tilly usually evoked this kind of reaction in Michael. She was irritated by this young girl but especially because she noticed stuff about Michael that the young woman didn’t even notice about herself. She hadn’t been aware that she had been staring at this man.

“So, who is he?”

Michael looked at the man once more, studying him. “This is Lieutenant Commander Spock. Second Officer and Science Officer of the USS Enterprise.”

“Enterprise, huh?” Tilly’s eyes got wide, excitement sparkling in them. “Let’s talk to him. You always tell me to keep my goal in front of my eye. Speaking to a high ranking officer of the Enterprise, getting to know him, introducing myself, can only improve my chances of becoming a Captain someday.”

Tilly had grabbed her hand and before Michael could protest in any way she was pulled along.  

“Lieutenant Commander Spock, it’s an honour to meet you,” Tilly chattered away. “I’m Cadet Sylvia Tilly, science officer on the USS Discovery.”

Spock turned around, raising an eyebrow while watching Tilly closely and then nodded his head a little. “The honour is with me. The USS Discovery is a fascinating ship. I have heard interesting stories about it and especially about the spore drive.”

Michael could hear that Spock was honest and sincere. The science of this ship probably intrigued him as it had Michael when she first got there. She had been fascinated by the ingenuity of the human species. Knowing that he would be occupied, and Tilly as well, she tried to sneak away without any of them noticing but before she could take a step, Spock had seen her. “Michael,” he said. Just her name, nothing more.

So she nodded towards him. “It is a pleasure to meet you again, Lieutenant Commander Spock.” Michael tried to keep it professional. They had never been very close, had barely seen each other while growing up, and after their last meeting where they had undergone a mindmeld Michael didn’t want anything else than to be far far away right now. She was aware that this urge was fueled by her human emotions, more precisely shame. And this was even one more reason why she wanted to be far away from Spock. To get her human emotions in check and to bury them deep down inside of her.

“I have heard that you serve on the USS Discovery now.”

Michael couldn’t pinpoint the tone of his voice. She had no idea if this was just a neutral observation, hidden disapproval because he had the same viewpoint as everyone else and thought that she belonged in prison for her crimes, or maybe even pride of her accomplishments. The last one she could probably cross off the list. Vulcans didn’t feel pride, not even half-Vulcans. It was probably the second one, but Michael just hoped that it was the first one. She could live with neutral observation.

And so she reacted accordingly with a simple nod. “I’m a specialist in the science department. I work with Cadet Tilly,” she said and hoped that she could point the conversation back to Tilly. For a change she could use Tilly’s ability to speak 212 words per minute. She turned around to her in hope she would carry on where Michael had left off but Tilly just stared at them with an half open mouth.

“You know each other?” she asked incredulously.

Spock just nodded and Michael sighed internally. She didn’t want to head in this direction. But she knew Tilly and she would poke until she got the answers she desired. “This is Spock, son of Sarek and Amanda.”

Tilly’s mouth widened even more. “Oh my god, he is your brother. This is amazing. I always wanted to meet someone of Michael’s family.” She turned to Spock. “Okay, actually I saw Sarek when we saved him but he was mostly unconsciousness the entire time. So it’s really great to meet you,” Tilly rambled and reached out her hand. Michael was quick to stop her and pulled the hand back. Vulcans weren’t too keen on physical touch, especially not without permission. “Oh my god, sorry,” she said when she noticed her mistake. Quickly she put her hands behind her back and bowed down a little. “I’m so sorry. You two probably have so much to catch up on. I should go.”

Tilly was gone as fast as she had dragged Michael into this uncomfortable situation. So Michael was left alone and the only thing she wanted to do was run after Tilly to get away from here.

“She is quite … passionate,” Spock commented.

Michael nodded. “Indeed she is. And she is one of the brightest minds I have ever met. She will make it far in Starfleet.”

“As did you.”

A little surprised about this statement Michael just looked at Spock. She had no idea what she should respond to something like that.

“I have heard the stories.”

Michael scoffed. “Everyone has heard the stories. Michael Burnham, the mutineer.” Michael liked to pretend not to care when someone was calling her by this title. She used it herself to make sure that they wouldn’t think that she was hurt. But she hated it. She was more than this one moment that was defining her entire life now. The last months on the Discovery had let her believe that this could change, that these people saw more in her now than they did before. That might be right. But the entire rest of the universe hadn’t worked with her, hadn’t got to know her. She was still Michael Burnham, the mutineer.

“I was not referring to this unfortunate incident,” Spock said, his voice neutral. Michael couldn’t decipher what Spock thought about it. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted to know this, wanted to hear his opinion on this matter but nevertheless she tried to hear it from the tone of his voice. She was pathetic.

“What are you referring to then?” There were no other stories of Michael Burnham. Everybody just thought about her as the mutineer. As soon as they heard her name their thoughts were clear.

“I have heard that you played an essential role in ending this war.”

Michael shook her head. “The entire crew of the Discovery was part of that. There is no such thing as one hero on board of a ship. We all did our part and I did mine.”

For the slightest moment Michael thought she had seen a small smile around Spock’s lips. But it was gone so quickly that the young woman wasn’t sure if she had just imagined it.

“I am convinced if our father would express these emotions he would be proud of you.”

Once again Michael just stared at Spock, not sure what to say. Spock had never referred to Sarek as Michael’s father. They weren’t blood related and Spock even barely talked about Sarek as his own father. They had a complicated relationship that Michael didn’t know much about. They were both too stubborn to talk about it.

So this right here was one of the highest praises that Michael could get from Spock. And as she had learned from Philippa how to react to a compliment, she smiled at Spock. “Thank you,” she said.

Spock bowed down a little. “You are welcome.”

For several minutes there was a silence around them, neither of them knowing what to say next. “Would you like to know more about the spore drive?” Michael asked after a while.

“Of course. Everything I have heard so far was fascinating. To talk to someone who actually worked with it would be a pleasure.”

Michael smiled and turned around a little, searching for Tilly. “We should let Tilly join in this conversation. She loves to talk about her science.” When she found the red hair sticking out of the crowd, she waved her over. Of course Tilly had watched them closely the entire time. She was too curious for her own good. Michael was certain that she would need to tell her everything she had just discussed with Spock, and probably their whole history as well. But right now she just wanted to have a little fun.

And talking about science was fun.

“I was just starting to explain Spock our spore drive,” Michael said when Tilly arrived. “I thought you would like to join this conversation.”

“Oh god yes,” she grinned and started to ramble without even stopping for air.

Michael watched Spock closely and seeing him listen intently to her best friend with interest in his eyes, Michael was suddenly glad that Tilly had dragged her over to Spock.