Y'all, I'm getting emotional.

One of my absolute favorite astronomical bodies is the Crab Nebula, or Messier 1. The Crab Nebula is a "planetary nebula", which means it's the enormous, beautiful corpse of a once-giant star. The star that formed the Crab Nebula went supernova and exploded in 1054, and was so bright at the time of its death that you could see it from Earth during the day - for almost a month. For that month, it was brighter than every single thing in the sky except the moon and the sun. Some of you have probably heard of it, or have at least seen this Hubble picture:

But how many of y'all have zoomed in?

Inside all of those lovely rainbow clouds is the supernova remnant - a neutron star. A neutron star is made of the densest possible material that we know of - any denser, and it'd collapse the rest of the way into a full-fledged black hole. Neutron stars are so unimaginably dense that they're not even made of an element, not really. The star at the center of the Crab Nebula is one, single atomic nucleus 12 miles in diameter, made entirely of close-packed neutrons. One teaspoon would weigh 10 million tons. Imagine taking a passenger jet, condensing it down to the size of a mote of dust, and then filling a spoon with that dust. And it spins too - 30 times a second. That spinning causes huge jets of material to eject from the poles at half the speed of light. The incredibly powerful magnetic field traps any stray particles and accelerates them in circular paths through the nebula. Just LOOK at this shit! See the ghosty shadows of the jets, stretching from the top left corner to the bottom right?

But what's really making me lose it is this Hubble timelapse. The star is making ripples. Its moving. Its been dead for almost a thousand years, but its still putting on its final, spectacular show.

It never ceases to amaze me that the things we call "dead" stars are some of the most dynamic, energetic, and awe-inspiring objects in the universe. Normal stars are downright STAGNANT compared to what these so-called "stellar remnants" get up to. Maybe we shouldn't be thinking of them as dead stars, but as the next phase in a star's life. Just as caterpillars "end" their mundane lives and metamorphose into something new and strange and capable of flight, these stars destroy themselves to leave behind something far more exotic, playing at the edge of the laws of physics in ways we still don't fully understand.

All right, so maybe I went haring off to another fandom for awhile, but I will never fully let go of my STAR WARS fic reading roots because there's just so much incredible fic here and I have such intense feelings about these characters, like how can I possibly truly leave when this fandom knows how to scratch my id just right or make me cry over fictional characters or hyena laugh because you people are very funny? There's just so much fic that is so good that of course I keep coming back! Especially when it comes to Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker, there are just so many incredible people making incredible fics for them that feed right back into my love for their twisty, turny, complicated, beautiful, awful relationship. So here's a bunch of Obikin fic because the fandom is amazing and you should go love them as much as I love them, since you can hopefully completely sate yourself on a bunch of fantastic fic to read! Or idk send yourself into a grief coma because sometimes fic writers are almost as mean as canon was, but in the best way, the way that really hits you in the feelings place. Or idk idk just gorge on all the porn because DANG Obikin fandom brings the porn! WHAT KIND OF FIC YOU’LL FIND HERE:

FICS THAT PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE WITH HOW GOOD THEY WERE

CANON-COMPLIANT (-ISH, WHATEVER) AT LEAST UP UNTIL THE GALAXY GOES PEAR-SHAPED

FUCK THE NOISE OUT OF ANAKIN SKYWALKER’S HEAD

DARTH ASSHOLE CAT SHOULD BE GRABBED BY THE SCRUFF OF THE NECK AND SCOLDED BACK TO THE LIGHT

FUCK YOU, CANON, THINGS GO A LITTLE NICER IN THIS UNIVERSE

WORLD IS HARD AND COLD, OBIKIN FLUFF IS SOFT AND WARM

MODERN AUS CAN BE FUN AND CHARMING AS HELL AND A GREAT CHANCE TO MAP CANON DYNAMICS ONTO A WORLD WHERE THEY CAN HAVE A HAPPIER LIFE, IT’S A WIN ALL THE WAY AROUND

WHAT DID CANON EVER DO BUT BREAK OUR HEARTS ANYWAY? TIME TO TELL CANON TO FUCK OFF AND WRITE AN AU

TIME TO CRY ABOUT SOME FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

FICS THAT PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE WITH HOW GOOD THEY WERE: ✦ Neutron star collision by thedunesea, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, 121k wip     In the aftermath of Order 66, Anakin Skywalker's miraculous survival after his confrontation with the new Sith Apprentice Darth Vader ignites a sparkle of hope in the remaining Jedi, in the fledgling rebellion and, above all, in his former Master, who thought he had lost everything to darkness. But darkness is generous, and it is patient. ✦ Together in Slumber by ibex_ascendant, obi-wan/anakin, 2.4k wip     Several months after his last confrontation with Darth Vader, Obi-Wan finds himself trapped in a vivid and mysterious mindscape. And he isn't there alone. ✦ Satellite Mind by intermundia, septemberist, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 19.3k     Some doors, once opened, can never be closed, and some secrets, once learned, can never be forgotten. or, Five times Obi-Wan heard Anakin’s thoughts, and one time Anakin heard Obi-Wan’s. ✦ Slow Learner by Is0lde, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 12.6k     Four times Anakin tried to fit Obi-Wan's big dick inside him and one time he managed it. or; the evolution of their sexual relationship. ✦ Redolent of you by Himboskywalker, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, dom/sub, 31.3k wip     This act of espionage is going to require some class A play at antiquated alpha and omega dynamics, only problem is Anakin has never submitted in his life and it's certainly not within his nature,or so Obi-Wan thinks. ✦ Heal Me, My Darling by wasureneba, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, dom/sub, 12.4k     Anakin gets sick. Obi-Wan takes care of him. For two weeks. Alone. This would be easier if Anakin wasn't quite so gone for Obi-Wan. Or if this didn't involve a daily stab in the shebs. ✦ For He, too, is King by MayMeows, obi-wan/anakin & padme, NSFW, historical au, 7.7k     “I am here to present myself to the man who now calls himself King of my people.” Obi-Wan would be impressed as Anakin’s title as God-King, born from the divine himself, often struck people with awe, terrifying or glorifying, but Queen Amidala’s voice is as strong as her shoulders are squared. ✦ How to Save a Galactic Republic Without Really Trying by Sharp_Tongue, obi-wan/anakin & mace & yoda & quinlan & palpatine, nsfw, time travel, 23.9k     After defeating Vader on a barren, nameless moon, Obi-Wan had let go of the past. But the past hadn’t let go of him. ✦ (feel like i die) ‘til i feel your touch by decideophobia, obi-wan/anakin & yoda & mace & ahsoka, 15.5k     OR; Obi-Wan gets himself cursed and makes it everyone’s, but mainly Anakin’s, problem.

CANON-COMPLIANT (-ISH, WHATEVER) AT LEAST UP UNTIL THE GALAXY GOES PEAR-SHAPED AND/OR DIVERGES: ✦ Yellow Surprise by ToolMusicLover, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 11.1k     When Anakin is distant with him during a simple negotiation mission Obi-Wan jumps to the wrong conclusion, luckily for him Anakin isn't willing to let him go so easily. ✦ A Good Epithet by Artemis_Unbound, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 8.2k     Obi-Wan should have been happy. He had fulfilled Qui-Gon’s final wish. He had trained Anakin, he had spent ten years teaching the boy and watching him grow, he had cared for him and scolded him and coddled him by turns. He had, for better or worse, been Anakin Skywalker’s Master. ✦ hold on to this lullaby by decideophobia, obi-wan/anakin & rex, 1k     “Anakin,” Kenobi says with a hint of a reprimand in his voice. “Why aren’t you sleeping?” Skywalker staggers further into the room, and a faint blush spreads across his cheeks. He rolls his eyes but it doesn’t do anything to mitigate the color high on his face and the effect it has on his features: a pleased expression flashing clear as ion fire. Having made his way to one of the chairs, he drops down onto it with the elegance of a Hutt. ✦ Any Other World by mysticmjolnir, obi-wan/anakin & vader & leia & reva, NSFW, dimension hopping, 24.2k wip     Anakin has been looking for his Master for a very long time. Finally, on Mapuzo, he finds him. ✦ sea to a desert by maragny, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, 3.1k     An interlude and an aftermath; or: how to love someone you seem to have spent half your life loving. ✦ spirit meets the bone by treescape, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, time travel, dom/sub, 2k     Or, the Force keeps sending Anakin forward in time from the Clone Wars. ✦ Azúcar, Sudor by Delzi, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, spanking/discipline, 18.6k wip     Anakin can't stand Obi-Wan's new disciplinary tactic, but he absolutely loves it. ✦ Too Hot by secretsolarsystem, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 4.8k     Too Hot: A game where two players kiss without stopping and without touching each other. If one player touches the other, that player loses. The winner gets to do whatever they want to the loser. ✦ dream a little dream of me by answersinahauntedclub, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 10.3k     Anakin’s eyes snapped open. Oh no. Oh no. Anakin slumped back into the bed, staring down at himself in horror. Anakin Skywalker had just had a wet dream about Obi-Wan Kenobi. [or—you think you have problems? try having wet dreams of your friend-slash-former-master and then trying to figure out what that’s supposed to mean.] ✦ sea to a desert by maragny, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, 3.1k     An interlude and an aftermath; or: how to love someone you seem to have spent half your life loving.

FUCK THE NOISE OUT OF ANAKIN SKYWALKER’S HEAD: ✦ Strings Pulled Taut by preromantics, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 4.8k     (AKA Anakin gets a bunch of gunk in his hair, Obi-Wan has been hyper-fixated, and it all bursts like a bubble.) ✦ dark red by wesnenski, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 1.9k     He feels Obi-Wan before he sees him: a ripple in the Force, a glow of warmth in the darkness. When he appears from the shadows like a bleary-eyed spectre, Anakin can only look up at him, nostrils flared, lip quivering. Here is his Master, tired and gaunt but solid and present and real. ✦ Take Care of Yourself, I Wish I Could by Kefalion, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, 7k     While Obi-Wan and Anakin are alone on a planet during a mission, Anakin goes into a presentation heat. One Obi-Wan will not help him through no matter how much they'd both want it. Not that they know that want is mutual. ✦ Fever by dirkygoodness, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, cat boy!anakin, 3.5k     Obi-Wan wakes up to a cuddly (Ny)Anakin and is met with something he isn't expecting. He's going to have to deal with it though. And enjoy himself as he does. ✦ sink into the dunes by stardies, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 9k     [A collection of small Obikin drabbles. Each chapter will have its own one shot.] 01. sfw, anakin’s separation anxiety. 02. first time nsfw. 03. obikin zine piece, sith!obi-wan, jedi!anakin, handjobs. ✦ a necessary respite by Anonymous, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 2.6k     to be fair, all of this is obiwan’s fault. even though his master is calmly sorting through reports the faint buzz of arousal in the back of both of their heads is majorly coming from him, anakin just can’t help but react to it. ✦ the lean and hungry type by tideswept, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, 4.5k     And so is Anakin, really, for being excited about this rather than angry. He wets his lower lip, striving to cohere his thoughts into something that isn’t appallingly horny, when Master speaks. “I’m not in rut,” he says quietly. “I wouldn’t spring that on you.” “I mean,” Anakin pauses. “You could.” ✦ when people show you who they are, believe them by RexIsMyCopilot, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, spanking, dom/sub, 3k     Anakin has a meeting with the Chancellor. Obi-Wan convinces him to take a slow morning instead. ✦ needs must by silianrail, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, dual sex!anakin, 1.7k     Anakin must be the neediest omega in the entire temple, if not on the entire planet. But if Anakin is needy, what does that make Obi-Wan, who, after all, bends to so many of his padawan’s desires? ✦ Use Me by kittimau, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 2.5k     Anakin knows what Obi-Wan needs, even if he won't say it.

✦ Insatiable by TheSopherfly, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 1.8k     Obi-Wan meets Anakin’s eyes with a rueful smile. “You wanted it fast, yes?” “Yes.” Even without their responsibilities looming, Anakin would’ve wanted it like this; quick and dirty, like they just can’t help themselves. “Yeah. Fast is perfect.” “Good,” Obi-Wan says, punctuating the word with a single thrust. “Because I don’t think I’ll last long.” Or; With the twins still asleep, Anakin and Obi-Wan steal some time for themselves. ✦ Hazy Shade of Winter by Lemon (lemon_sprinkles), obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 2.7k     Obi-Wan runs hot; Anakin most definitely does not. Thankfully Obi-Wan is there to warm Anakin up when things get unusually cold in the Jedi Temple. ✦ The Love You Want by passeridae, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, potential dub con-esque (read the tags), 6.8k     They've returned to their rooms after sparring, flushed and laughing and close enough that the very air feels heated between them. Once the door has closed, Obi-Wan turns to Anakin, smiling, takes Anakin's jaw in the cup of his hand and kisses him like the first blush of spring. "You'll be good for me, won't you?" he murmurs, and Anakin does nothing more than dreamily nod because he knows just what to do when he's slipped under like this. Knows his job is to be obedient and pliant and good. ✦ Handle Me With Care by greeneyes_blondequiffs, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, 5.3k     Obi Wan wants Anakin but he knows he shouldn't. He also knows that there is no way he could ever act on it - or so he thought. ✦ tear me apart by RexIsMyCopilot, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, dom/sub, 2.4k     Obi-Wan uses Anakin in the Council Chamber ✦ A Lesson in Listening by GayCheerios, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, dom/sub, toys, 4.4k     “Anakin,” Obi-Wan says simply. Anakin feels chills run down his spine. That tone means everything except simplicity. “Bedroom.” His husband commands. ✦ Keeping Company by Gwendolyn (storiesofchaos), obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, 11.1k     "So, will you? Will you help me through my heat? Please, I want you to fuck me, Master, I need it." Anakin doesn't care that he's begging already, but he's getting even wetter between his legs and he can't help it. Obi-Wan doesn't seem to mind anyway, because he groans and drags his fingers up into Anakin's hair and tugs slightly, making Anakin gasp. "Force, yes, I'll give you what you need, Anakin." ✦ king unmaker by unbitten, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, transmasc!anakin, royalty au, 4.4k     How to get your King to stop playing hooky from his appointments to make trips to the brothel? Scold him. Stare disapprovingly. Fuck him yourself.

DARTH ASSHOLE CAT SHOULD BE GRABBED BY THE SCRUFF OF THE NECK AND SCOLDED BACK TO THE LIGHT: ✦ Reunion by Himboskywalker, obi-wan/darth vader, ~1k     Some sweetness to help with the absolute agony of Obi-Wan lol ✦ The Jedi Child by RowenaNie, obi-wan/darth vader & luke & leia & cast, NSFW, pregnant!anakin, 48.1k     “The emperor has put my replacement inside of me,” Vader said. ✦ Hand in Unlovable Hand by Rachello344, obi-wan/darth vader, NSFW, 2.8k     Post Kenobi Part VI: Instead of leaving Vader for dead, Obi-Wan finds himself unable to abandon his dear friend again and so takes him with him. How can Obi-Wan Kenobi live without the other half of himself? Whatever it takes, he will drag Anakin back to himself, kicking and screaming. ✦ dreamscape melodies by egeria, obi-wan/darth vader, NSFW, 2.9k     "The layers you Jedi wear are ridiculous," Vader grumbled. Obi-Wan let out a huff. "We're in a dream, are we not? Can we not just will our clothes off?" -- or: Vader is in heat and Obi-Wan is in his dream. It's still complicated. ✦ to restrain the darkness by treescape, obi-wan/darth vader, NSFW, some dom/sub, 2k     Or, Vader wants Obi-Wan to tie him up. ✦ dreams of old by treescape, obi-wan/darth vader, nsfw, 4.1k wip     Obi-Wan surrenders to Vader on Jabiim in exchange for everyone else's freedom.

FUCK YOU, CANON, THINGS GO A LITTLE NICER IN THIS UNIVERSE: ✦ afterimages by shatou, obi-wan/anakin, 1.3k     Mustafar is nothing but a bad dream. ✦ Sticky by Delziae, obi-wan/anakin & padme & ahsoka & rex & cast, NSFW, omegaverse, 25.9k     [Or: In which Anakin is too horny to handle and Obi-wan has a bit less control than he originally thought.] ✦ That Never Wrote To Me by Artemis_Unbound, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, omegaverse, 5.3k     After the Rako Hardeen mission, everyone Obi-Wan loves has turned away from him. It’s been months since he’s even seen Anakin, but their bond had been closed off for years. Knowing that Anakin would never want him the way Obi-Wan wanted Anakin had been painful enough, but at least he still had their friendship. And now even that’s gone, and the cold has settled into his bones. Acute Isolation Syndrome is so rare that Obi-Wan doesn’t recognize the symptoms. Doesn’t even realize that he’s dying. ✦ dream a little dream of me by answersinahauntedclub, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & padme, 10.3k     [or—you think you have problems? try having wet dreams of your friend-slash-former-master and then trying to figure out what that’s supposed to mean.] ✦ Stargazing by thegingerwrites, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 21k     Anakin and Obi-Wan have become too well-known on the Holonet to take on undercover assignments anymore. But desperate times call for desperate measures and the Council asks them to make contact with a Separatist defector at a gala hosted on Mandalore. At least the event is a masquerade. ✦ praise you by RagnarLothcat, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 17.9k     An act of insubordination, a crash landing and a trek through the forests of an uncharted planet bring Anakin and Obi-Wan to a very hospitable village. Sure they think Anakin is a god, but really, what's wrong with wanting to be appreciated? ✦ terribly inconvenient and incredibly terrific by tennessoui, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, 24.8k     Obi-Wan has the sheer nerve to imply that Anakin is ill-suited for a mission he himself is going on, which means that Anakin will stop at nothing to prove his old master wrong. After all, Anakin can do anything Obi-Wan can do, thank you very much. Even if maybe, just this one time, Obi-Wan is right. This mission relies on the one area of Anakin's life he's never spent much time or effort thinking about: his omega designation and Obi-Wan's alpha one. But there's no way that Anakin is going to back down now. What will Obi-Wan do? Go to the planet with another, non-Anakin omega? Don't make him laugh. He's Obi-Wan's partner. And Obi-Wan is his alpha. Alpha master. Same thing. ✦ and when you look at me, the weight of how i feel is heavy on me by brahe, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & mace & depa & qui-gon & rex & cast, 37.9k     “Jus’ like a sun,” Anakin murmurs, and Obi-Wan has to strain to hear it, almost misses it. He stills. “Beautiful shining sun,” Anakin continues, and presses his face further into the pool of robes. His voice is slow and sleepy, and Obi-Wan realizes he can tell Anakin is about to drop off into sleep. He blinks, lifting his head to stare down at him in something between awe and shock. That seems to be the standard operating procedure when it comes to Anakin, he thinks, a little wry, a little wondrous.

WORLD IS HARD AND COLD, OBIKIN FLUFF IS SOFT AND WARM: ✦ a vacationer's guide to being unexpectedly married by treescape, obi-wan/anakin & cast, 7.8k     “A vacation, you need,” Master Yoda had insisted firmly beneath their incredulous stares when they’d first received their instructions. “On a beach, perhaps, hmmm?” ✦ The Lonely Mollusk by temple_mistress, obi-wan/anakin & luke & leia, nsfw, 2k     Obi-Wan was incredibly horny, Anakin was, Force-bless him, more than ready to oblige, and the children were miraculously still sleeping. ✦ looking for trouble by orphan_account, obi-wan/anakin (mentioned obi-wan/anakin/padme), spanking, 1.7k     Anakin gets in a fight. Obi-Wan cleans him up and spanks him.

MODERN AUS CAN BE FUN AND CHARMING AS HELL AND A GREAT CHANCE TO MAP CANON DYNAMICS ONTO A WORLD WHERE THEY CAN HAVE A HAPPIER LIFE, IT’S A WIN ALL THE WAY AROUND: ✦ (I just) died in your arms tonight by Himboskywalker, obi-wan/anakin & padme & cast, modern au, 2.5k wip     Where Obi-Wan is still a master of politics and Anakin still fixes spaceships and they’re still irrevocably obsessed with one another. ✦ Win Condition by passeridae, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, F1 au, 4.3k     Anakin has just won his first race of his F1 career and Obi-Wan, his longtime trainer and partner, knows just what his boy should get as a reward. (His dick. The reward is his dick.) ✦ Hooked on You by whohatessand, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, 5.2k     With his wife's approaching senatorial election, Anakin Skywalker tries desperately to be the perfect husband she needs. Little does Padmé know, her husband has been sleeping with her campaign manager, Obi-Wan Kenobi, for quite a while now. ✦ we’re swimming with the sharks (until we drown) by decideophobia, obi-wan/anakin, modern au, fake married, 5.8k wip     He looks up and meets Anakin’s eyes. A thoughtful expression passes over his face. “Married people are paid significantly more,” he says then, slowly, looking at Anakin like he’s trying to solve a riddle. Anakin stares, dumbstruck. “Huh.” ✦ Would You Like Cream With That? by ranianke, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, professor obi-wan, 2.1k     Obi-Wan was a good teacher. His students learned the content, he got flattering reviews (even when you ignored the chili pepper Rate My Professors reviews that he could not seem to get taken down), and he generally liked teaching. Good professors did not sleep with their students. ✦ Pride & Preparation by secretsolarsystem, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, school au, 5.6k     “You’re beautiful,” Anakin praised, making Obi-Wan blush. “And nervous.” Obi-Wan scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Of course I’m nervous.” “You shouldn’t be,” Anakin said easily, pressing a kiss to Obi-Wan’s lips. “I love you, and this is going to be really fun.” ✦ swear each night to let him go by vorpalstars, obi-wan/anakin & padme & ahsoka, NSFW, modern au, professor!obi-wan, 10.3k wip     Anakin develops an unfortunate amount of lust for his literature teacher ✦ Seven Minutes in Anakin by Saratutti, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, dom/sub, 1.9k     Fully enamored doesn't even begin to describe Anakin’s captivation with the gorgeous professor he has stumbled into dating this Christmas season. ✦ The Melody Wakes the Heart by edgeofn1ght, obi-wan/anakin, modern au, 3.5k     However, it's practically love at first sight when Obi-Wan passes a new busker working the alley he passes through every day going to and from work. ✦ Pick-up Games by SingManyFaces, obi-wan/anakin, modern au, 1.1k     Ben’s quiet afternoon is ruined by a basketball player who needs some medical attention. He doesn’t mind too much. ✦ Prompted - Chapter 22: Brakebills by intermundia, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 10.2k     Anakin Skywalker was not a typical student of Brakebills University for Magical Pedagogy.

WHAT DID CANON EVER DO BUT BREAK OUR HEARTS ANYWAY? TIME TO TELL CANON TO FUCK OFF AND WRITE AN AU: ✦ death by any other name by loosingletters, obi-wan/anakin & qui-gon, vampire au, 11.5k     While on a mission during his years as a Padawan, Obi-Wan escapes the tight hold of death transformed into something not quite human. In the years following, he isn’t always so lucky. ✦ Till Human Voices Wake Us by RagnarLothcat, obi-wan/anakin, mer!anakin, 2.7k     It’s late summer when Obi-Wan first notices a flash of gold between the waves. ✦ Goodbye by Ripki, obi-wan/anakin & qui-gon, nsfw, 1.2k     Anakin has no wish to leave Obi-Wan, not when they have just been reunited. Luckily for him, Obi-Wan is good at making their goodbye very memorable. ✦ tender like a bruise by stardies, obi-wan/anakin & cast, omegaverse, 6.8k wip     In a stroke of desperation, Obi-wan mates Anakin Skywalker by force on the fiery planet of Mustafar to stop his Fall and save his life. Taken back to Coruscant and imprisoned, Anakin feels the senate's pressure for justice, and Obi-wan, his mate and former mentor is determined to give him another chance. ✦ canaries underground by TheGoodDoctor, obi-wan/padme & references to anakin/padme & obi-wan/anakin & obi-wan/anakin/padme, NSFW, padme lives, 10k     There are good days, and bad days. This is a good one. ✦ use my body to break your fall by tennessoui, obi-wan/anakin & padme & ahsoka & mace & yoda & palpatine & cast, NSFW, Not a Jedi!Anakin, Sith!Obi-Wan, 63.5k     Obi-Wan Kenobi is too good at being a Sith Lord general of the Separatist army. The Jedi Council approaches Anakin with an offer he can't refuse. These things are, actually, related.

TIME TO CRY ABOUT SOME FICTIONAL CHARACTERS: ✦ you can't just leave me by amadwinter, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, omegaverse, 1.6k     Anakin swears he’s above his Omega instincts, but when he’s sparring with his Alpha master one day, some wires get crossed that leave him unable to distinguish friend from foe. A primal fear consumes him, and no amount of Jedi training will shake the feeling he needs to escape. He needs to protect himself from the dangerous Alpha circling around him, searching for any sign of weakness. When backed into a corner, an Omega’s last line of defense is their bite. After all, an Alpha would never hurt their mate… ✦ A Little Early, A Little Late by greeneyes_blondequiffs, obi-wan/anakin, omegaverse, pregnant!anakin, 7.4k     Anakin finds out he's pregnant. The problem is that his mating ceremony isn't for another four months. ✦ Sweet Surprise by greeneyes_blondequiffs, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, omegaverse, pregnant!anakin, 12.3k     Obi Wan and Anakin are forced to land on an unfamiliar planet. Anakin is perplexed by everyone's obvious interest in him, unsure what could be causing it. That is, until he receives some unexpected news. The problem is, Anakin's not quite sure he believes it. The other problem is what Obi Wan might think when he finds out. ✦ That Never Wrote To Me by Artemis_Unbound, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & vokara, NSFW, omegaverse, pregnant!anakin, 5.3k     After the Rako Hardeen mission, everyone Obi-Wan loves has turned away from him. It’s been months since he’s even seen Anakin, but their bond had been closed off for years. Knowing that Anakin would never want him the way Obi-Wan wanted Anakin had been painful enough, but at least he still had their friendship. And now even that’s gone, and the cold has settled into his bones. Acute Isolation Syndrome is so rare that Obi-Wan doesn’t recognize the symptoms. Doesn’t even realize that he’s dying.

I just realized that our mf sacrificial  bastard mc Cale-I'm-trash-but-always-does-the-opposite-of-trash-Henituse and us readers have a very very weird type of relationship like we want to baby him and smother him with love as much as possible and spoil him with fluffy family fanarts or fics like him resting or going in an outing he's fine with the kids and other characters to the point our fanbase weather forcast will become Cloud9 with a chance of Cavities and Fluff but will always insult him for his denser than a fucking neutron star brain that turned off recognizing love related emotions and advances and be the next densest material of all dimensions but also an airhead most of the time like fucking hell they're showing you famial love and tryna take care of you you stupid fuck and our weather forcast is CloudWhy with a chance of You, So and Dense but will also vibrate in our chairs/beds/bathroom/sofa/basement/couches whenever he does something badass or looks badass and be awesome and cool and holy shit oh my god its here lets fucking go and our weather forcast is CloudLETSGO with a chance of HESSOCOOL and WHOOOO but will also dreadfully look forward to him coughing up blood and him fainting and even make fanarts and way over the angst fics and our weather forcast is CloudsofPain with a chance of AAAAAA and AAAAAAAA and Cale and us getting angst slapped and we readers will equally and gladly devour and savor muah chiefs kiss it like wtf yall good

https://www.tumblr.com/neutron-stars-collision/717319876721639424 god they’re so FUCKING stupid i really just hate watching them turn Eddie’s survivors guilt as romantic love for chrissy! the dude watched her brutally die id fucking get a tattoo to honor her too ?!

They really are

You know the drill embly. Show me those prime numbers

:scree:

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

dont get smug with me bitch i BURN my bridges

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

genuinely couldnt tell ya, it depends on both your definition of virginity and whether or not my ex lied to me. she sure did take mine tho

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

havent had a chance to hang out with kay for a while but hopefully this weekend!

7. What happened tonight?

BRAKES BLEW OUT

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

love being able to answer these as Girl. anyway there is exactly 1 .

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

hopefully clear p4s!! if jeim and his girlfriend are free lol

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

shit girl at this point its you <3

19. Have you had sex today?

ansewred this before but ill fucken do it again, im not allowed to have sex for another month, doctors orders

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

i dunno anymore. they used to be. we were both blue. but ive gone significantly more gray now.

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

answered this one already but i still miss kay shes still sleeping

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

no thats the one i trust!

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

my demi ass doesnt even find people attractive at first sight. absolutely not lol

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

mmm i wanna say late May? i came back from my surgery and there were some cupcakes in the fridge. they were weird but not bad!

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

i embarrass myself in front of everyone. yesterday i confused arknights attack speed with attack interval while talking to kay and almost imploded creating a neutron star and destroying the planet

47. Who was the last person to call you?

lets check. its a number i dont recognize. i wanna say it was my patient coordinator for my surgery? i dont know for sure.

53. Is Christmas stressful?

nah i basically do nothing for it anyway except buy gifts for people i like

59. Take a vitamin daily?

nope but i really should

61. Wear a bath robe?

no but i REALLY should that would fuck

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

oh you KNOW a bitch love her sunflower seeds

71. Can you curl your tongue?

haai~

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

recently yes!

79. What was the last concert you saw?

answered already, it was dream theater

83. Can you swim well?

not like, competitively well but im very capable of keeping myself afloat and moving quickly in the direction i need to go. not that ive gone swimming since . god when was it. since i was 23? like 6 years ago? i miss it but not with this body lmao

89. Which are better black or green olives?

answered this already too, i dont care for olives but the black ones on sausage and olive pizza are good

Also for ship bingo: my other belovèd old school rarepair paul kariya/teemu selänne

oh this is gonna be a normal answer i can already tell

first of all i didn't think it was possible to actually get a bingo but these old fucks did it, great job

second of all, oh my god. they make me crazy. i was too busy engaging in a kind of group manic episode in the british indie rock fandom at the height of teemu and paul's careers to engage with hrpf, which demonstrably made me a more mentally ill teenager, but otoh i don't think i would have been truly able to comprehend their romance if i were not well and truly out of my teenage years and fully like, understood the social and emotional consequences of their narrative. like god....sometimes your soulmate really is a strange finnish man who keeps you honest and reminds you to have fun and makes you better on ice...sometimes your soulmate is a serious canadian man with a cute smile who complements you on AND off ice and you make his joy the focal point of your own...sometimes you follow each other to colorado and then back home to california and then to the hall of fame...sometimes life is just careening around like an atom until you slam into your perfect match like a fucking neutron star with the same rate of collapse and the same visibility from the hubble telescope. my god the romance just knocks my socks off. even out of fandom, their FRIENDSHIP knocks my socks off. but sometimes a love story is bright and beautiful and functional and too short and forever and it's about friendship, and it's about caretaking, and it's about coming to things in your own time. maybe it's immediate. maybe it takes ten years.

and i don't remember if this is irl or if it's something i made up in my head to make myself suffer but the idea of them retiring quietly on the california coast is just brutal to me. the end of paul's career is just heartbreaking but the fact that he went back to california!! because california is home!! and teemu is there!! and teemu is always there and always will be and even if i made that up in my head and will not be googling to fact check bc i love to live in ignorance, the hopeless romantic in me is hopelessly devoted to the image of them dancing at sunset on an anaheim beach. teemu sucks at it. paul is graceful and fluid. they meet in the middle and they're bright as the setting sun

tell me about your fic on ao3- @rowans-blues

warning i am going to be talking in caps and this post may be very long

HI YES HELLO YOU CALLED TO ASK ABOUT MY BLORBOS???? YES YES RIGHT THIS WAY I HAVE MANY A FINE WARE TO SHOW YOU

EXHIBIT A:

JAY: BIRD BLORBO. HOMEMADE. AGED LIKE FINE WINE. SHAMELESS SELF-INSERT. potential mary sue BUT WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT. ULTIMATE FLOOF WHEN SPOOKED/EXCITED. CAN TURN INTO AN OWL. ACCIDENTALLY MARRIED THE LOCAL DOCTOR BEFORE EVEN LEARNING HIS NAME. FAT TRANS AND AN ABSOLUTE WET BEAST. WILL KILL ANYTHING THAT ATTACKS HIM AND CRY THE ENTIRE TIME.

EXHIBIT B:

DOCTOR HARVEY: HAUNTED AS FUCK. GREAT MUSTACHE. LOOKS LIKE BDG. THE UNCHARISMATIC BISEXUAL WET PAPER BAG OF A MAN. DID NOT SIGN UP FOR ANY OF THIS MAGICAL SHIT. IS TRYING HIS BEST AND TO HIS CREDIT HANDLING THINGS REMARKABLY WELL GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES. DOES NOT KNOW THAT HE'S MARRIED TO JAY. shhhhhh don't tell him anything. SERIOUSLY HE DID NOT ANYWHERE REMOTELY NEAR SIGN UP FOR ALL OF THIS SHIT WHERE IS THE INFORMED CONSENT PAPERWORK FOR LEARNING MAGIC IS REAL.

EXHIBIT C:

MONA SYLVIA JASPER: NOT A FEMME FATALE BUT CERTAINLY A FATAL TRANSFEM. ROCKING THAT WHITE HAIR AND ELDRITCH MAGIC. MENTORED ALONGSIDE JACKSON BY RASMODIUS HIMSELF. died a horrible death BUT THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE SHE CAME BACK TO TIE UP SOME LOOSE ENDS AND IS STILL HERE FOR ADVICE FROM TIME TO TIME.

EXHIBIT D:

JACKSON, ABIGAIL, SEBASTIAN, AND SAM, AKA THE JACKASS CREW. GOOFY GOOBERS WHO CAN ABSOLUTELY WRECK YOUR SHIT.

D1: JACKSON. BASED OFF OF MY IRL BESTIE WHO'S THE SINGLE MOST OUT OF POCKET FEMBOY I HAVE EVER KNOWN. LOCAL CHILD PICKS UP THE EQUIVALENT OF THE CORE OF A NEUTRON STAR WHICH THEN EMPTIES ITS CONTENTS INTO HIS SYSTEM - PROCEEDS TO BLOW A MASSIVE HOLE IN THE CLOUDS WITH A MASSIVE FUCKING ELDRITCH BLAST. LIVES TO TELL THE TALE, IS NOW EVEN MORE POWERFUL THAN WAS PREVIOUSLY POSSIBLE. IN POSSESSION OF SCHRÖDINGER'S GODHOOD.

D2: ABIGAIL. AROALLO POLYAMOROUS TRANSFEM. SKILLED WITH A SWORD AND EVENTUALLY GAINS THE ABILITY TO [SPOILER REDACTED]. We all know who the real father is AND SHE HAS TO FIND OUT EVENTUALLY.

D3: SEBASTIAN. LOCAL EMO WEED BUYER, USER OF ICE AND ELECTRICAL MAGIC. PART OF A LOVE TRIANGLE BUT DON'T WORRY WE TAKE THE POLYAMOROUS WAY OUT HERE. HAUNTED BY NIGHTMARES AND THE WAY THINGS COULD HAVE BEEN.

D4: SAM. LOCAL BUNDLE OF SUNSHINE WHO IS CONSTANTLY WORRYING ABOUT HIS BESTIES THAT HE'S ALSO IN LOVE WITH. EVENTUAL USER OF LIGHT AND ELECTRICAL MAGIC ONCE HE COMES AROUND TO IT. WILL MAKE OUT WITH [SPOILER REDACTED] TO PROVE A POINT.

AND THAT'S JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG, MY FRIEND. WE HAVE SO MANY OTHER BLORBOS FOR YOU TO SEE, AND A SECOND FIC ON THE BACKBURNER WITH A SIMILAR CAST OF CHARACTERS.

Small-Town Tales is my pet project. It's my baby and if anything happens to it i'll kill everyone in this room and then myself (reference). Jay is a barn owl avia (bird equivalent of a selkie) and arrives in town to the rudest greeting possible: getting mauled by wolves. After mauling the wolves back, he manages to fly his sopping wet bloodied self to the front door of the clinic before collapsing in the plaza, essentially on Doctor Harvey's front doorstep.

Cloak shenanigans ensue in the following chaos as Harvey saves Jay's life, bada bing bada boom you got an accidental marriage that nobody wanted. Jay manages to settle into Pelican town which, despite seeming like an idyllic little village, is actually a massive source of chaos for anyone living there. Other character arcs coming soon to a chapter near you.

Promise? Is my project on the back burners. Despite this, I love it just as much as STT - although it certainly won't end up anywhere near as long (pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease have mercy on me gods of writing and hyperfixations). Doctor Harvey finds himself down bad with hanahaki for the local aspiring author. Angst ensues - do not fear, for i am an absolute slut for the comfort part in hurt/comfort.

More details on both can be found on my sideblog, @gracklekeyer2000 , as well as my Ao3 account by the same name. All of my writing on Ao3 requires an account to view because of the muskrat's data scraping. However, The Incident is linked in the pinned post on my sideblog. It's not quite complete yet - there's meant to be a part 3 - but the most important, plot-relevant details coming from that piece have been ironed out in the first two parts.

Ayooo, I loved the hell out of space as a kid, too. Would scramble and pick up every Discovery magazine or library book, and I got a basic telescope to observe Saturn's rings (well, it was blurry, so it looked more like a ring, but cool nonetheless.)

Was obsessed with super novas. It was something about a star, one of the biggest conceivable things in the universe, yet one of billions, could explode and be so bright, that they could dwarf the light galaxies themselves were so captivating.

Surprisingly, I was terrified by black holes, I thought they were lonely yet didn't like to ponder on them that much.

Would Sol like the Astral Plane? How about Limbo? I always imagined it like walking through the remains of a supernova.

Kinda wanna gift them a telescope, just to give them the ability to taunt stars face to face.

Oh my god a telescope lucky you!

My family could never afford one so I just settled for bad quality images on google and the 3d renders on Nasa's official website. I used to want to be an astronaut as a kid.

I loved math, I adored math and I understood it in ways it impressed my teachers. So much that when kid me heard about quantum physics and how they break the normal math we know, I was fucking head over heels.

I never understood the equations or symbols, it was so much more advanced than elementary and middle school math but I'd watch video after video of people solving it just for fun.

I'd tear through every article I could find on space, especially blackholes. Yes they were terrifying! But so beautiful?? They broke reality and I was in literal awe. Nothing could ever make me scared of them no matter how much fear they made me feel, I'd adore them more and more.

I remember when kid me found out that Venus is the hottest planet! I debated my teachers about it the next day because our science books were outdated, and it still claimed that Mercury is.

Supernovas are really amazing too! They are the reason we have the elements we do.

Oh god okay so, wanna hear about my favourite kind of star? It's a one that no longer exists but did back in the early stages of the galaxy.

It's a black hole star. Not a star that turned into a black holen but a literal black hole STAR.

It weights 800,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 tons

It's a massive star that held a blackhole at its core, BUT the star didn't explode! It's not going through a supernova, it's still a full functioning star who's core collapsed from the immense pressure and ended up with a blackhole.

And the thing is, because of how fast blackholes spin, everything takes a really long way to actually fall inside them. That's what those rings of lights around them are. So no matter how much that blackhole consumed, it wasn't faster than the star itself would generate.

Yk these supermassive blackholes at the center of the galaxies? It's theorises that the black hole stars are the reason behind them. A star endlessly feeding a blackhole for billions of years.

They can't exist anymore sadly :( the universe just can't support it anymore.

Here's the video about it, my heart flutters just thinking about how something so beautiful could exist.

I read about the star life cycles, the red dwarves, the blue gaints, the neutron stars that will outlive everything in the end of the galaxy. How the milkway is on its way to get married to andromeda.

The universe is so vast and empty and big yet so full of things and dark matter. It's so beautiful like how sound existed far before anyone could hear it and yet we developed ears just so we could hear music. Hopefully one day we will do the same and be able to fill the gaps in space.

And I like the mythology euphemism and titles used in space! It is the reason I got so invested in mythology literature because I wanted to understand why they were naming these planets and missions those names.

Space held everything I have ever loved and felt passion for, stars, blackholes, math, literature, and the unknown.

There is so much to understand, so much to explore and we know nothing, isn't that the best feeling in the world? To look everywhere and be met with the unkown and question marks?

And about Sol, if you took them to the Astral plane, they'd be enamoured. Looking at all those different stars, realising how small the sun is in comparison, how big the world is, how little they matter.

And it weirdly brings them relief? Makes them feel safe. This is a place that could handle them, it feels like they belong here amdist the stars. That maybe if they burn and melt their skin off by accident here, it wouldn't be out of the ordinary, stars burn out and die all the time.

But they'd miss the grass, the cows and worms. They especially miss the plants and flowers. The Astral plane is pretty and all but they'd rather doze off under a tree shade while watching a colony of ants, even if it meant they can't be themselves. They also prefer close proximity fighting, jump between a bunch of enemies and set everyone, including themselves, ablaze with a fireball.

In the Astral plane, all fighting feels long range. Everyone is jumping or moving away and there is too much room for escape and fluidity. Sol is more Solid (Ha!) They can never compete with a dexterous enemy.

In Limbo- oh boy. They have 0 control over their emotions, you tell them emotions wrap space around you and they're instantly panicking and boom a nuclear bomb went off. If they could control their emotions, they wouldn't have been struggling with their magic as much in the first place.

It's like previously they held an wooden club but now you've handed them a loaded gun. And their mood swings and vortex of emotions keep firing off.

Their magic would love it tho, as in the dragon embodiment. Hell yeah this place rocks, and ops they attracted a chaos dragon who thinks they're challenging their territory.

A Chaotic neutral character having a horrible time at a Chaotic neutral plane, who could've gussed it.

Maybe good ending Sol may manage to be there? They'd be decent at it, survive but never thrive. It's just not who they are.

If you hand them a telescope, they'd be confused on how to use it. Doesn't Gale have one too? I think they'd have a bad view on telescopes because Gale owns one therefore they're bad.

Also there is this small possibility they might wonder and stare at the sun with it if left unattended, it's very small but it is very possible.

They have no interest in the moon or other planets, the stars tho? They're invested. But all of them are so far away...it feels pointless, they can't make out any details. They can't ever witness a star close without risking their eyesight and that annoys them, they might accidentally melt the telescope in frustration.

Sol would feel so bad since it was a gift, they wouldn't wanna face you in shame of ruining something you've given them. They'll try to take it somewhere to fix, even if the price of fixing it is more expensive than buying a new telescope. They'll still look at the sky from time to time, feel lucky that the stars are so far away, and they're here and alive.

How many stars can say they're alive like Sol? How many suns can claim a voice or a nose? It might have started as them taunting the stars, but it made them self reflect on their life, the little time they have left, the choices they have to make. The stars seem so lonely up there, it's a good thing Sol is down there with the rest.

I think the Twilight thing started off as ironic for Max, trying to get in on the joke. But then he actually started liking it and getting involved. Besides, the soundtracks SLAP. He’d just pop in a cd into his car and play Paramore on full blast knowing full well it won’t hurt his eardrums, just annoying the passerbys.

Also, side note, it is CRIMINAL that Neutron Star Collision by Muse is only on the Eclipse soundtrack and nowhere else. It’s one of my favorite songs by them. Such a rockin love song. (Other best love song by Muse - Unintended…god I 😫😫😫😫😫🫡🫡🫡🫡)

DKFNSJSK MOOD the soundtrack fucks tbh and it has no right. I don’t really feel like Max had a goth/emo phase (too fratty) but he leaned into the whole vibe a little bit as a joke when he turned

am I the only gay person who hates astrology because ughhhhhhhhhhh

I am this 🤏🏽 close to rewriting Miraculous bc it has been SEVEN years and this shit has gone no where. Thomas Austruc or however you fucking spell his name can't write for shits he's creepy and racist and the only good shit or come out of his dumpster fire of a TV Show was anything written by Jeremy Zag, so like season 2.

Alya and Nino first getting their Miraculous? 🔥

Chloe getting a miraculous and setting up a redemption arc? 🔥

Luka and Kagami being introduced to set up drama?🔥

Some of the villain designs? 🔥

Mf Mayura and seeing the peacock miraculous in action? 🔥

Marinette kissing Adrian?🔥

With what they're doing with Mari/Ladybug, they're ruining her character and have been ruining her since season 2. She's a borderline, actually not even, she's a stalker fucking OBSESSED with Adrien. In season one she was a bit more mature and had a fat crush on Adrien, which is fine, it was actually kinda cute, but now she literally stalks him, shes broken into his house like twice and one of those times went through his stuff. Christ she went all the way to fucking CHINA just to see him cause she didn't know he'd be there and wanted to see what he was doing. Instead of having the Chinese special centered around her family, her culture, or even the origins of the Miracle Box, they have her go bc of her stupid yt boy crush😐

Also what they're doing with Ladybug how they're making her a lot meaner to Chat Noir is 😬 at first it was like 'shes too serious and he's not serious' and sometimes shes a lil too hard on him but she apologizes, now she's just straight up mean to him like she straight up made him quit and replaced him as if as it was nothing. Other times when he quit or doubted his ability as CN she was heartbroken and/or reassured him that nobody could replace him cause HE was her partner, he was her beloved partner and even if she wasn't in love with him, she really cared about him.

I also have my problems with Chat Noir and Adrien, like how Adrien is denser than a fucking neutron star and can't take a god damn hint and how Chat Noir can't take no as an answer. Since the beginning Chat Noir has been very flirty with Ladybug and she was fine with it, she would play along with a 'play hard to get' type of personality and jokingly shoot him down. Then over time he kept persisting even when she told him shes in love with someone else, and constantly has to remind him. There's a few times he gets upset at her for this, and I would understand if she was stringing him along but she isn't, she's told him multiple times she's not interested. In the Sentibug episode he almost gets tricked by the sentimonster ladybug when she manipulates him by pretending she's ladybug and she's always been in love with him. He acknowledges for a moment about og LB not having feelings for him before shooting it down at the chance of this actually being LB and what she's saying is the truth.

The fact that these are the two characters that are gonna be endgame is so fucking disappointing to me, I'd rather have these two end up with any other characters cause at least that'd be more interesting

This shit has dragged on for fucking 7 years, and it's gone no where, the characters have undeveloped and it's mess. "But it's a kidshow" so is AtLA, og Teen Titans, The Owl House, etc and those are some good top tier kid shows with really good plot and developed characters and relationships

Can you believe I’ve been reading non-stop STAR WARS fic for about seven years now? And that there are still incredible writers putting out incredible stories that feel just as fresh and engaging as they would have when the source material first came out? Yeah, sure, we get a steady diet of supplementary content, but the main storyline is almost 20 years old now and we’re still going with these two dipshits and how much we desperately need them to kiss it out. With fic that is brilliantly written and emotionally satisfying and cool as hell AUs and gorgeously written porn and running such a great gamut of tropes, whether canon divergent AUs, canon compliant missing scenes, character pieces, full on modern AUs, there’s always so much amazing stuff being thought up and shared with us. And I have lost my mind over this set of recs because they’re everything I’ve ever wanted and the writers are so talented at giving me all the feelings, like, I cannot express what a joy it is to be in a fandom that is still so passionate and enthusiastic about these characters we love. There’s no corner of these two that we would not turn over if it meant a chance to write some angst or write a fix-it or have them fuck it better. And I’m just really, really glad to be a part of it with everyone. Even if you guys did make me cry more than once with these fics.

WHAT KIND OF FIC YOU’LL FIND HERE:

FRIENDSHIP WITH CANON ENDED, THIS COOL AU IS MY NEW BEST FRIEND NOW

CANON-COMPLIANT (-ISH, WHATEVER) AT LEAST UP UNTIL THE GALAXY GOES PEAR-SHAPED

FUCK THE NOISE OUT OF ANAKIN SKYWALKER’S HEAD

DARTH ASSHOLE CAT KNOCKS EVERYTHING OVER AND SCRATCHES UP THE FURNITURE BECAUSE HE NEEDS MORE ENRICHMENT

WORLD IS HARD AND COLD, OBIKIN IS SOFT AND WARM

WHEN YOU’RE IN THIS DEEP YOU JUST NEED MODERN PROFESSOR OBI-WAN OR SUGAR BABY ANAKIN AUS AND FANDOM IS SO GOOD WITH THEM

OBIKIN RECS - FRIENDSHIP WITH CANON ENDED, THIS COOL AU IS MY NEW BEST FRIEND NOW: ✦ (feel like i die) ‘til i feel your touch by decideophobia, obi-wan/anakin & yoda & mace & ahsoka & cast, 15.5k    OR; Obi-Wan gets himself cursed and makes it everyone’s, but mainly Anakin’s, problem. ✦ Neutron star collision by thedunesea, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, canon divergence, 107.1k wip    In the aftermath of Order 66, Anakin Skywalker’s miraculous survival after his confrontation with the new Sith Apprentice Darth Vader ignites a sparkle of hope in the remaining Jedi, in the fledgling rebellion and, above all, in his former Master, who thought he had lost everything to darkness. ✦ For He, too, is King by MayMeows, obi-wan/anakin & padme & cast, NSFW, historical au, 7.7k    Obi-Wan would be impressed as Anakin’s title as God-King, born from the divine himself, often struck people with awe, terrifying or glorifying, but Queen Amidala’s voice is as strong as her shoulders are squared. ✦ cranes in flight by TheGoodDoctor, obi-wan/padme (& implications of obi-wan/anakin/padme & previous anakin/padme), depression, padme lives, 10.9k    “I’ve found us rooms for tonight,” he says, voice pitched to cut through the downpour. “I’ll find something more permanent in the morning.” She just stares at him. The next five minutes are far from her reach; permanency is unthinkable. ✦ use my body to break your fall by tennessoui, obi-wan/anakin & padme & yoda & ahsoka & mace & rex & palpatine & cast, NSFW, sith!obi-wan, sex worker!anakin, 63.5k    Obi-Wan Kenobi is too good at being a Sith Lord general of the Separatist army. The Jedi Council approaches Anakin with an offer he can’t refuse. These things are, actually, related. ✦ Awed by ToolMusicLover, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 16.8k    Or: Obi-Wan is left awe struck when he joins Anakin on a mission and fails to be subtle about it. ✦ The fire and fume by Himboskywalker, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 9.3k    On opposite ends of the Republic Anakin and Obi-Wan have fought desperately and apart for years, protected only by their men and their swords. But a much greater threat than Separatist invaders comes, a Sith dragon of old, and there is only one living knight in the Order who has faced dragon fire. Long parted master and apprentice must join forces to track down the Sith shifter, beyond the desert and across the sea, before flame and ruin befalls them all. “Lend me your light and your sword, master, one last time.” ✦ Something broken that can be fixed by ToolMusicLover, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 8.2k    In the aftermath of the Rako Hardeen incident, Anakin and Obi-Wan attempt to rebuild their relationship. The only thing stopping them from reconciling is themselves. ✦ what tomorrow may bring, what tomorrow may carry away by tennessoui, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, royalty au, a/b/o, 12.4k    As weeks of negotiations in Stewjon draw to a close, King Obi-Wan Kenobi is given a gift of thanks. The gift in question: a boy with a creature’s furry ears and tail, clearly sentient and clearly enslaved. Furious beyond measure, Obi-Wan is forced to accept the gift or else be the reason the boy, Anakin, is sent back to his owners. At least he can free him and the boy can leave. But then he doesn’t leave. It takes Obi-Wan a while to figure out why. ✦ encode by loosingletters, obi-wan/anakin & padme & dooku & ahsoka & cast, 72.7k    Instead of being accepted into the Jedi Order at the age of 9, Anakin Skywalker became a ward of Naboo. He figured out the Force on his own by trial-and-error, tracing its will through ancient temples and scriptures. Despite his night terrors and the Clone Wars raging through the galaxy, life was working out just fine for Anakin, thank you very much. At least, that was before Obi-Wan Kenobi crashed back into his life with unexpected ferocity. OBIKIN RECS - CANON-COMPLIANT (-ISH, WHATEVER) AT LEAST UP UNTIL THE GALAXY GOES PEAR-SHAPED: ✦ broken bones, thunder drums by maragny, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & rex & cast, 4.3k    “I’ll call for a stretcher,” Rex says, but General Kenobi shakes his head. "There’s no need,” he says, and then he crouches, slides an arm under General Skywalker’s knees, and picks him up. ✦ full of silver moons by beetlesacquired, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, sith!obi-wan/jedi!anakin & jedi!obi-wan/sith!anakin, dom/sub, 17.1k    The Sith resumed their position on the couch, somehow even closer to each other than before. If making Anakin uncomfortable was somehow part of their evil plot, it was working. He could hardly even look at them without feeling like he was going to explode out of his skin, and that was the most bearable part. What was unbearable was the vicious jealousy that burned in his chest. If he’d known that all he had to do to get affection from Obi-Wan was fall to the Dark side, he would’ve done it ages ago. ✦ Over and Over by obiwanobi, obi-wan/anakin, 1.4k    "I love you,” he blurts out, loud and impossible to miss. Obi-Wan blinks once, twice. And freezes. The first time Anakin tells him is a mortifying experience. OBIKIN RECS - FUCK THE NOISE OUT OF ANAKIN SKYWALKER’S HEAD: ✦ on sep'rate stars by mysticmjolnir, obi-wan/anakin/padme (& obi-wan/anakin), NSFW, dom/sub, 4.4k    Obi-Wan visits Coruscant for the first time, but there’s only one thing he’s interested in seeing. Anakin, after some encouragement, makes a decision about who to have dinner with. ✦ Concupiscent by LostLine, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 3k    Obi-Wan can’t stop fucking Anakin. A one-shot pwp to feed your Obikin feelings. ✦ Devotion by Padraigen, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, past pregnant!anakin (force shenanigans), 4.3k    Anakin’s head jerked up in bewildered indignance, a disappointed grumble already readying in the back of his throat before it was abruptly cut off at the sight of Obi-Wan. Anakin’s confused frown deepened. “What are you doing?” ✦ needs must by silianrail, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, a/b/o, 1.7k    Anakin must be the neediest omega in the entire temple, if not on the entire planet. But if Anakin is needy, what does that make Obi-Wan, who, after all, bends to so many of his padawan’s desires? ✦ Use Me by kittimau, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 2.1k    Anakin knows what Obi-Wan needs, even if he won’t say it. ✦ When You’re Not There by recursion_after_dark (recursion_error), obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 3k    Following a mission gone well, Anakin and Obi-Wan are exhausted and at the end of their ropes. Ropes which have nothing to do with the mission and everything to do with what they’ve been both ignoring. Each in his own, special way. ✦ Mission Debrief by Lemon (lemon_sprinkles), obi-wan/anakin & cast, 5.8k    Obi-Wan tries to act in a professional manner befitting of a General and a Jedi. Anakin, however, has other ideas. ✦ radiance by demi_fae, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, a/b/o, 2.8k    Anakin and Obi-Wan spend some time together before Obi-Wan’s rut hits, after Anakin has fully transitioned. ✦ paddled into next taungsday by RexIsMyCopilot, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, spanking, 4.7k    Anakin messes up negotiations. Obi-Wan deals with the aftermath. ✦ untitled by binaryeclipse, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, ~1k    “Fuck, did you get bigger?” Anakin groaned. The burn was simultaneously exquisite and just shy of too much, especially after the admittedly hasty fingering. ✦ i’ve been waiting for you by RexIsMyCopilot, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, dom/sub, 4.2k    Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship is relatively new and Anakin is unsure of how to ask for what he wants. ✦ Carrier by JSwander, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, a/b/o, read the tags, 3.3k    Anakin Skywalker gets pulled from active duty by the Jedi Council as a punishment for reckless behavior on his most recent mission. In the resulting fight with his former master, Obi-Wan Kenobi decides to take drastic measures through his Stewjonian biology to help Anakin find peace away from the battlefield. ✦ Persistence is Key by ToolMusicLover, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 2.2k    Anakin has been making suggestive remarks all day, when they’re finally alone together Obi-Wan finds himself succumbing to Anakin’s persistence. ✦ forever my master by RexIsMyCopilot, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, dom/sub, 3.6k    Anakin sits on Obi-Wan’s cock while he reads mission reports. That’s it. That’s the fic. OBIKIN RECS - DARTH ASSHOLE CAT KNOCKS EVERYTHING OVER AND SCRATCHES UP THE FURNITURE BECAUSE HE NEEDS MORE ENRICHMENT: ✦ to restrain the darkness by treescape, obi-wan/darth vader, NSFW, 2k    Vader wants Obi-Wan to tie him up ✦ dreams of old by treescape, obi-wan/darth vader, nsfw, canon divergence, 4.1k    Or, Obi-Wan surrenders to Vader on Jabiim in exchange for everyone else’s freedom. ✦ falling up by obiwanobi & shatou, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & cast, raised as a sith!anakin, 24k wip    Darth Sidious is dead, by the hand of the apprentice he raised. Anakin doesn’t want to be Vader anymore. The only person he trusts is a Jedi, and now Obi-Wan Kenobi has his hands full. ✦ untitled by obiwanobi, obi-wan/anakin, raised as a sith!anakin, 2.4k    “I’m here to rescue you.” Obi-Wan blinks. “Oh. No, thank you.” ✦ to hold until brightness by treescape, obi-wan/darth vader, NSFW, 1.4k    Or, Obi-Wan continues to fuck Vader back to the Light. OBIKIN RECS - WORLD IS HARD AND COLD, OBIKIN IS SOFT AND WARM: ✦ who you were does not define who you are by RexIsMyCopilot, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, 3.3k    Anakin begins skipping strategy meetings and lying to Obi-Wan about it. Obi-Wan finds out. ✦ For Breakfast by Crowgirl, obi-wan/anakin, 2.6k    The house by the lake is small, primitive compared with their Academy lodgings, but it’s also quiet, blissfully quiet and far away from anything that might turn into a battle or an ambush or a skirmish or even a brawl. ✦ So I Love You Because I Know No Other Way by DontCallMeShirley, obi-wan/anakin, 3.2k    Anakin and Obi-Wan just need a little push to admit their feelings. ✦ Morning Interlude by SingManyFaces, obi-wan/anakin, ~1k    Obi-Wan and Anakin sleep late by accident, then stay in bed on purpose. ✦ And Then There Was One (Bed) by DontCallMeShirley, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 1.7k    Obi-Wan and Anakin are on a mission gone wrong, and they have to share a very small hotel room with only one bed. ✦ the taste of fear, unforgotten by treescape, obi-wan/anakin, ~1k    Or, Anakin’s been sick. Obi-Wan’s been scared. ✦ Just Resting My Eyes by hellowkatey, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & rex, 1.2k    During a war, sleep is few and far between sometimes. Especially for stubborn Jedi who think meditation is a substitute for a REM cycle. ✦ permission to speak frankly by maragny, obi-wan/anakin & bail & cast, 2.8k    In which a Senate party is attended, wits are matched, and a realisation is had. OBIKIN RECS - WHEN YOU’RE IN THIS DEEP YOU JUST NEED MODERN PROFESSOR OBI-WAN OR SUGAR BABY ANAKIN AUS AND FANDOM IS SO GOOD WITH THEM: ✦ The Fundamentals of Being a Sub by RexIsMyCopilot, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, dom/sub, 7.8k    Anakin had always assumed he was a Dom. That is, until he met Obi-Wan ✦ My Anankē (chapter 8) by intermundia, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, 5.4k    Hello friends! It is my birthday today, and the middle of summer, and in honor of that, have some extremely self-indulgent winter smut ✦ In the Family by Das_Hazel, obi-wan/anakin & qui-gon/shmi & ahsoka & rex, NSFW, modern au, 12k    The last person Anakin expected to see, standing in front of his childhood home with a bottle of wine, was his one night stand from a week prior. Anakin was here to meet his mother’s boyfriend and his son. Ben said he was invited to meet his father’s girlfriend’s family. ✦ Parry & Riposte by farawaygalexi, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka, modern au, 2.6k    When Anakin encouraged Ahsoka to try out a sport, he meant like, soccer, or swimming. Not sword fighting. When Anakin envisioned Ahsoka’s new fencing instructor, he pictured an old guy with a mustache, not a walking Adonis pulled right from his own personal fantasies. ✦ Trouble by Pizzzazlut, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, ~1k    Obi-Wan enjoys a lovely dinner and his lovely wine at a fancy restaurant, watching Anakin visibly struggle to keep his composure, wiping sweat off his brow and gripping the edge of the table until his knuckles turn white. ✦ May Be Found, If Sought by ghostwriterofthemachine, obi-wan/anakin & mace & quinlan, modern au, magic au, 2.3k    In which Quinlan, Mace, and Obi-Wan teach Non-Traditional Magical Philosophy in an institution rampant with academic snobbery and discrimination, something dark is stirring in the nearby forest, and no one is ever prepared for Anakin Skywalker. A small story about first meetings in magical academia. ✦ Talk to me by ToolMusicLover, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 4.2k    Recording an audiobook can be horribly dull, but Anakin finds that he doesn’t mind when he gets to ogle Obi-Wan Kenobi. ✦ infinitely varied by loosingletters, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka, modern au, 2.2k    Sometimes your husband decides to develop an artificial intelligence capable of free choice and something called a soul and succeeds in the middle of a Thursday night. Or, more concretely: he’s in the middle of succeeding because said intelligence first has to learn how to speak. Also known as Obi-Wan and Anakin teach a tiny program called A.H.S.O.K.A. how to be something more than lines of code via the power of linguistics.

I present Star Trek TNG in a nutshell...

(from someone who's watching it for the first time)

Picard:

Tea, Earl Grey, hot~

Admiral, let's face it: every Admiral in Star Fleet is a cunt. I'm going to disobey you

Admiral, ask me about the Borg, one more time-

WHO PUT THIS CHILD ON MY BRIDGE, oh Dr. Crusher, your son? All right, he can stay

I am what you kids call a "theatre kid", Shakespeare "on main"!

Dr. Crusher:

Don't worry, we have the most advanced medicine in the known unive- oh, I'm sorry, the plot requires that he dies.

Me and Captain Picard? I only feel respect for my captain. Why yes, he did send my husband to his death, thank you for bringing it up.

Yes, we like each other, we're going to date later when he's not my superior

As your doctor, I'm ordering all of you to bed. No ifs or buts. Jean-Luc, sit down. Yes, Worf, I know you miss Dr. Pulaski. What do you mean she's more interesting than me

Tasha:

THE RAPE GANGS

God, why do I feel so useless!

Oh Data, I'm going to die prematurely but always remember that time you showed me you were fully functional while we were drunk on a space virus~♡....that never happened, we made it up, it's fiction, no way-

THE RAPE GANGS

Deanna:

I feel...emotion...I need to rest in quarters where an unknown entity will come in and invade my privacy. Captain, my mother will be boarding the ship soon. Captain?

I'm not sensing any emotion from Data, although I sense emotion from this 2D being and this ball of gas.

He's hiding something, Captain...wasn't that obvious enough from the way he's obviously lying?

I feel....something....I can't put my finger on what it is.....

Riker, remember that when the series is over, we're definitely getting married

Worf:

Captain, permission to fire. But Captain, my honor.

But captain, it is not the Klingon way.

A Klingon does not...love, a Klingon fucks.

I would like a warrior's drink: prune juice.

Why won't she marry me! Why does my son- but my hono-

A Klingon does not-

Data:

I am android.

I do not feel emotion, but I'm going to emote for nobody but myself.

It appears everyone I meet seems to want to kill me, possess me, have sex with me, and on the rare occassion be my friend for one episode only and then leave by the end of the episode.

I am an android.

Geordi and I are going to roleplay in the holodeck now. Why is Deanna giggling? Ah, roleplay in a sexual manner. We're not in that stage of our relationship yet, counselor. Why are you all staring at me, I was under the impression that you all knew-

I am going to masterfully play another classic, English character only for Captain Picard to rub my inhumanity in my face.

Computer, I require Feline supplement #100,657,682,029-

I've discovered yet another relative, hopefully they're non hostile this time.

Everyone, watch out, I've been possessed again.

By the way, I am an android.

Geordi:

Barclay, I told you to stop making holographic waifus. Don't you bring Leah into this, it was one time-

Data, I'd like you to be Holmes, and I'll be...~your Watson~♡

No Barclay, Data is not a waifu, he's a synthetic being the most advance piece of machinery ever made by man that as an engineer reves my engine and as a man who was almost canonically gay, makes my heart flutter every time I see him smile with that perfectly sculpted face he deserves the world, no the galaxy!

Wesley:

*breathes*

Picard: SHUT THE FUCK UP, WESLEY

Wesley: But captain, I'm Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius and I've figured out how to solve the mysteries of the universe!

Picard: you're right, Wesley you're now Admiral. By the way, ask your mother if she's free tomorrow for a holodate.

Riker:

;) >:( ;)

i havent seen anything for assassination classroom, so how about some headcanons for karma finding out he has a crush on the reader + if he'd confess how he'd pull it off?

sajdfhasd I’m so sorry I left this here for so long!! 

Assassination classroom has joined the server, glhf!

❗️Karma Akabane❗️

✨Crushing✨

- Yeah no.

- He was trying SO HARD NOT TO ADMIT HIS FEELINGS TO HIMSELF.

- Karma Akabane does NOT have time to fall in love.

- He thinks.

- But like goddammit you were just so fucking amazing.

- Never would he have thought someone like you existed.

- And it wasn’t like you were some martial arts god or some genius savant student or anything like that.

- You were just you.

- Average, Bs and sometimes As, will punch people once in a while, yeah about that.

- Yet there was something that intrigued him.

- Maybe it was the way you laughed at all his jokes.

- Or how you broke up his fights.

- But with time, Karma definitely developed some form of interest in you.

- It took MONTHS for the guys in the class to succeed in explaining what “feelings” were.

- And even then, he was in denial.

- “No wayyyy I don’t like her. I don’t like anyone.”

- “Bullshit Karma.”

- Well let’s just say he got way less violent during his infatuation period.

- He rarely picked fights, was constantly dreamy, would stare at you from time to time.

- And after all that, he finally admits it.

- He likes you.

- But he’s a biiiit of a sociopath.

- Doesn’t know how to handle complex emotions like this.

- He’s happy to see you scared you hate him flustered because of you but sad because you probably dislike him.

- Mix of emotions? What’s that and how do I deal with it?

- He deals with it by coming up with the best confession ever known to mankind.

✨Confession✨

- Okay so in order for this to work, Karma had to bite back his pride and eventually tell all his friends about his situation.

- Let’s just say they responded enthusiastically.

- “Waaaa, Karma-kun finally making a move!” - Nagisa

- “Hell yes boi, go get your lady~” - Hiroto

- “Glad to see you’re finally dealing with your feelings.” - Isogai

- So what Karma did, was he got the entire class in on this confession.

- Yes, even Irina and ESPECIALLY Korosensei.

- If he’s gonna confess to someone, he’s gonna make it clear that he doesn’t want ANYONE laying those googly eyes on her.

- So during parkour training, they made this plan.

- Since this time was a special training involving a whole ass confession, Korosensei decided to change up the rules.

- Students would have a memo that they customise on their own.

- Their goal is to stick it on someone’s back while Karasuma chases them.

- Whoever gets a memo on their back loses and is eliminated.

- While Karasuma started chasing, the rest of the students and the two teachers were talking via these little headphone things that Korosensei built.

- Two students would constantly be by your side.

- Whenever they see Karasuma coming, they would divert his attention and make him chase them instead.

- Seeing that, Korosensei would tell students your location and send in two others to guard you.

- Eventually, almost everyone got tagged by Karasuma.

- Except for you, and Karma.

- And NO this is not my way of ‘tWiSTiNG THe EvEnt” so the confession is easier oh nonononono.

- You wanna know how you managed to not get tagged? 

- You had to climb to the top of a random tree.

- Couldn’t blame you, you were out of stamina and dehydrated as fuuuuuu-

- But Karma got the information via the headphones.

- With Karasuma chasing him, climbing up that tree would not be easy.

- But boy he is determined to do this thing.

- He will climb any goddamn tree to do this.

- So you hear leaves rustling and BAM-

- Out jumps a wild Karma Akabane, memo sticker ready in hand. 

- Out of fear and shock, you slam your memo right into his chest when he sticks his onto your back.

- Then Karasuma catches him.

- “You brat, do you know how long it took me to climb up this stupid ass tree? I get tired too you know.” - Karasuma

- It isn’t until the two of you get down, does Karasuma see the memo on your back.

- He’s confused but just chooses to ignore it.

- Young love you know.

- The two of you are arguing over who won.

- “No way it wasn’t me, I literally screamed and shoved it into your chest.”

- “Oh so what? The game was to stick it on someone’s BACK, not CHEST.”

- The three of you set foot on the ground to see the entire class standing there, almost expectantly.

- “Huh? Why are you all staring at us?”

- Everyone’s just smirking at you with no context.

- Until Karasuma picks the memo off your back and starts questioning.

- “Why is this memo the shape of a heart?” - Karasuma, denser than a neutron star

- “Huh?” - You, probably, and maybe some other people in the class

- You snatch the memo, and read it out loud, expecting it to be some dumb joke or witty comeback.

- “Go out with me? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top? Because I’m into you? Like very, very into you?”

- “HAH? FOR REAL?”

- Yes, Karma is blushing, very hard.

- Like even harder than when Korosensei was making fun of him for his bad maths scores.

- “Just say yes or no, I can’t wait any longer.”

- “Hell yes, what’s the date? And why didn’t you tell me about this? Do you know how hard it is NOT knowing how your crush thinks about you? I swear to God you’re gonna give me a heart attack someday-”

- “Just shut up and kiss me.”

- And you do just that.

- Koromama took so many photos don’t even-

Ahhh I hope this satisfies your request!! <333

Static Shock: Shock to the System and Aftershock Review

“You know what? 13 years ago, me and some friends sat in a restaurant all night and daydreamed about the kinds of stories we would tell if we had the chance. We wanted to expand the concept of superhero to include characters that kind of looked like us, who had some of the same background, experiences and dreams as we did. We wanted to create something fun that a new generation would respond to the same way we responded to our childhood heroes -and damn if we didn't succeed beyond my wildest dreams. Today, Static Shock is a household name with millions of fans of all ages (Is there stuff I'd do differently? Yeah, almost all of season four but why nitpick?) Static is the most successful thing I've ever helped create and I'm both proud and gratified that people have taken it into their hearts. “ 

Dwayne McDuffie, Co-Creator of Static and Writer for Static Shock

This review is dedicated to Dwayne McDuffie and Robert L. Washington III.                                                        Rest In Power Static Shock is awesome. I grew up with the show watching it both first run on the WB and second run on Cartoon Network and loved it as much as I did other large parts of my childhood courtsey of DC like Batman the Animated Series, Teen Titans and both Justice League Shows. What makes this unique among the DC Properties is that Static wasn’t really a big name when he got a show. He wasn’t even part of the DC Universe. 

See as I had no idea for probably a good decade, Static actually came from Milestone Comics, a company ran by and focused on african americans. The goal was understandable: While black heroes existed at the time, and there were some fantastic ones like Storm, Jim Rhodes and Steel... these guys weren’t the center of their universes. The big faces of the big  companies, Spider-Man, Wolverine, Hulk, Iron Man, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash.. were white. So milestone was a shakeup of that with the main teams and heroes all being black, from Icon, an alien who’d lived among man but rather than end up in kansas like say superman ended up imprinting on a slave woman centuries ago and has been with us since, who was encouraged by an energetic teenager named Rocket to put on a costume and do something with his powers and his community, Hardware, a tech genius who had his work stolen by a white asshole and wanted to fight back and BLood Syndicate, a group of gang members all caught in the “The Big Bang”, a huge fight between all of Dakota, the midwest city where the comics take place, that ended when the police released a bunch of experimental gas that gave them all super powers. 

As most of you who have watched the show already know, this is where Static comes from. Static was the company making their own Spider-Man, i.e. a nerdy teenager who suddenly gets super powers, in this case Virgil Hawkins who at the prodding of a friend took a gun to The Big Bang to get revenge on a bully. .but ultimately couldn’t go through with it, decided it wasn’t him and got rid of the gun and ran.. and still ended up in it, becoming Static, a young hero dedicated to using his powers to fight other “Bang Babies”.. a term that dosen’t really sound that great and they really should’ve thought through. But Phrasing aside the character was great and I look forward to reading more and only haven’t because I have to buy the issues gradually, but DC is currently re-releasing the individual issues of Static, Icon, and Hardware weekly in anticipation of a reboot of Milestone Coming in May digitally on Comixology at only 2 bucks a pop, and rereleased the original print collections that were long out of print for 10 bucks each, though i’m getting static on it’s own since i’ts really not that much less expensive as it only collects four issues while Icon and Hardware both collect 8, so I can wait a bit there on Hardware and already own Icon: A Hero’s Welcome.. and really need to review it at some point. 

While Milestone’s output was good, at least from the two books i’ve read, with Robert Washinton III, who sadly not only ahs also passed but was fucking homeless for a while  in the 2000′s.. what the actual hell, writing Static alongside Dwayne McDuffie, whose later moved onto animation writing tons of Static episodes all of them classics including the school shooting episode, the first three rubberbandman episodes and both Anasazi episodes. Point is it had good writers and artists and even had a distrbution deal with DC, so they had a leg up on the glut of other comic book companies.. but happened to start at the start of the comic book crash, a huge downturn in sales in the 90′s as the speculator boom, i.e. a bunch of people assuming every number one would be worth golden and silver age money, forgetting a character has to BUILD INTREST and this stuff takes time, and whose attempts to sell fast flooded the market with comics no one wanted,, caused the roof to cave in and with a bunch of assholes pegging milestone as a “Company for black people” rather than you know, a company trying to add fucking diversity and represntation to the comics industry, and that simply wanted a unvierse that was centered around people of color instead of white guys. The company eventually had to shut down, and was left to lisencing.  This is where the show comes in. Producers HAD been trying to make shows based on Milestone for a while, as far back as the mid-90s and the company was was all for it but the closest it got was an x-men style team series using various characters whose first draft was terrible and whose second draft by Alan Burnett, a producer on various DC Animated shows who’d go on to produce Static Shock, that McDuffie and others really liked but sadly did not get picked up. eventually though with presistance Static ended up getting a series and as I said McDuffie went on to write for it though he did not develop it. Some changes went into place naturally to make it work for an early 2000′s kids show and while i’ll probably miss so since again, only read one issue as we go. But due to Milestone coming back my intrest was peaking, hence finally reading the copy of Icon I had to buy from the library years ago due to keeping it overdue but am now EXTREMLEY glad I own as i’ts incredibly rare and really damn good, and wanting to read static, doing so lately since it’s finally on digtiial and again not too expensive. So join me as I give you a shock to the system and revisit this hell of a series to see if it holds up.. which just to cut that short it does and i’m only holding off binging MORE because I want the first two eps to be fresh enough in my head to review properly.. and also go over the various voice actors because that’s a thing with me now and charcter co-creator dwayne mcduffie because he’s awesome. 

As I like to do when covering a series first episodes, let’s run down the voice cast. 

First up is an UTTER LEGEND, and I use the term voice acting legend a lot, and mean it every time and have good reason to use it when I say it, and Phil LaMarr is a GOD in the buisness, having done a metric ton of voice acting roles, and being easily the most proflific black voice actor in animation. He’s also done some acting work, mostly in pulp fiction which I have not seen, but his true staying power and talent is in animation so here’s just the roles I feel are most notable or may not be very notable but i’m bringing up anyway because it’s my list. 

His roles besides Virgil include Lester Payton the Texas Ranger who showed up for one very good episode of king of the hill to be badass and show up the hickish, stupid and very punchable local Sheriff, Gearld’s obnoxious older brother Jamie O on Hey Arnold, Hermes Conrad from futurama, Carver from the Weekenders (PUT IT ON PLUS DISNEY), Axel Foley for exactly one bit in Clerks the Animated Series, but anyone whose seen it will know exactly which one, Micheal on the Proud Family, Black Vulcan on Harvey Birdman (In His Pants), Hector Con Carne and Dracula on Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy and Evil Con Carne, Jack on Samurai Jack something I didn’t know for decades (and I didn’t know about the carver thing till today though i’ts obvious in hindsight), John Motherfucking Stewart on Justice League and later Steel and Adult Static in the Unlimited seasons, Osmosis Jones on Ozzy and Drix, Bolbi Strogofski on Jimmy Neutron (And yes i’m just as shocked as you are.), Wilt on Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, Marcus on Life and Times of Juniper Lee, Bull Sharkowski on My Gym Partner is A Monkey and Also a Sociopath Please Help God My Life is a waking nightmare..... okay the rest of that title is implied but we all watched the same show, we all know in our hearts that was the title

Moving on, he was also, and yes there’s MORE: Maxie Zeus on The Batman, Philly Phil on Class of 3000, Both Robertsons AND Fancy Dan on the Spectacular Spider-Man, Jazz on Transformers Animated, Kit Fisto and Bail Organa on Star Wars the Clone Wars, Gambit and Bolivar Trask on Wolverine and the X-Men, Aquaman I, L-Ron and Green Beetle on Young Justice, J.A.R.V.I.S. and Wonder Man (Simon Williams) In Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, Gabe and Carny on Kaijudo: Rise of the Duel Masters (Really miss that game and have been snapping up what cards I can get lately), Baxter Stockman in the 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (And there’s also an awesome photo of him with 2003 Baxter... the two best together in one place. I got chills), Dormammu (I’ve come to bargin) in various Marvel Shows, Noville in Mighty Magiswords, Zach’s dad Marcus in Milo Muprhy’s Law, Craig’s Douchey Brother Benard on Craig of the Creek, showing he’s clearly come full circle, And Mr. Scully on the Casagrndes. And given It took about two paragraphs to cover all of this, yeah, I MEANT legend. 

Next we have Kevin Micheal Richardson as Virgil’s Dad Robert, and it’s the first time since I started introducing Voice Actors on a show that i’ve overlapped. I already covered him during the second episode of legend of the three caballeros, but for the short version he’s also very acomplished, very damn good and I somehow missed he played the old blind guy in hey arnold> Needless to say the dude is awesome. 

Virgil’s Sister Sharon is played by Michele Morgan who was in the rap group BWP and did some smaller roles outside of this the one exception being Juicy on the PJ’s, which I have not watched much of but REALLY do not like, though i’ll at least give it credit for being a decently long lasted black claymation sitcom at at time when there were, and hoenstly still aren’t, many black animated shows. 

Back to long casting sheets, next up is Jason Marsden, who is one of my faviorites as i’ve realized recently as Ritchie. As I also found out only recently he started on the Sitcom Step By Step and while that show is .. ehhhhhhhhh, he is great in it because he’s great in everything. He also apparently has his own internet variety show which I have to watch now. His roles include Max Goof, ironically given I was just talking about that role a few days ago, Haku in the english dub of Spirted Away, Micheal, the kid being yelled at by a bunch of 80′s cartoons characters not to take drugs in Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue!, Nermal in the DTV Garfield movies and The Garfield Show, Tino on the Weekenders (SERIOUSLY DISNEY), Snapper Carr on Justice League, Rikochet on Mucha Lucha! for the last season (Why I do not knkow and while I love the guy he was not the right choice), Felix on Kim Possible, Chase Young on Xiaolin Showdown (WHich I did not realize was him and now I do easily his best role and I REALLY should’ve), Red Star and Billy Numerous on Teen Titans, Speedy on Batman Brave and the Bold, Impulse/Kid Flash II on Young Justice, and Fingers on Kaijudo. He hasn’t done as much lately which is a shame but hopefully i’tll pick up again. 

Next up is Hotstreak, Virgil’s brutal bully turned unhinted pyromancer played by DANIEL COOKSY, another actor i’m happy to talk about and another faviorite I haven’t seen much of lately. Daniel was an actor from childhood, playing Budnick on Salute Your Shorts, but he quickly gained a long and storied catalogue of VA Work: His first big roll was as Montana Max on Tiny Toon Adventures and if there is a god he’ll be back for the reboot, Stoop Kid on Hey Arnold, the incomprable Jack Spicer on Xiaolin Showdown, far and away his best role and part of why Chronicles sucked so bad was he was he didn’t get to reprise the role, The titular Dave the Barbarian, Django of the Dead on El Tigre (Had no idea), Kicks utterly insufferable big Brother Brad on Kick Buttowski and apparently he’s back at it again after laying low for a bit as he’s voicing Snag in Long Gone Gultch.. which I already really needed to watch but hot damn, I missed him. Sign me up. 

Frieda, Virgil’s crush and close friend who in the comics was his main confidante and love intrest but here is eventually pushed aside, is voiced by Danica Mckeller whose work didn’t seem all that familiar.. until I found out she was Ms. Martian on Young Justice. Hello, Megan. Very talented and she did get a major role in a dc show eventually so good for her. Can’t wait for season 4. 

So with our major players out of the way,  let’s talk about Dwayne. McDuffie is an AWESOME man and my respect has grown for him more and more with time. A writer and editor at Marvel, McDuffie has a decent resume doing smaller but awesome books, which I got most of for free last year when Marvel was giving out free digital collections due to the lock down, like Damage Control, a sitcom set in the marvel universe about the company that picks up after superhero battles and the logistics and antics that insue and Dethlok, about a pacfist trapped inside a cyborg zombie. He was as mentioned one of Milestone’s founders, and wrote Icon, Hardware and co-wrote the first few issues of Static. He’d go on to a pretty stacked career in animation, writing on this show and Justice League before becoming  story editor and show runner for Unlimited , even making a return to comics as a result writing the Marvel miniseries beyond and an arc of Fantastic Four in which Black Panther and Storm filled in for Reed and Sue while the two of them worked on their marriage after Reed did.. pretty much everything he did in Civil War. He also became head writer and show runner for Ben 10: Alien Force and Ultimate Alien, revamping the franchise a bit, and Alien Force, at least the first two seasons are awesome and I feel people overreacted on the changes. Ultimate Alien is okay, but has it’s problems but the finale was awesome and left the man’s legacy on a high note.. as he sadly passed in 2011 due to heart complications. He is truly missed and produced some utterly amazing stuff whlie he was alive. So on that melacholy note let’s see what happens when his creation hits the tv screen shall we?

Shock to the System:

This episode is written by Christopher Simmons, who is apparently a huge art designer guy.. but i’m not sure that’s the same chirsptoher simmons. Much more notable is the writer of the episode after this Stan Berkowitz, who was showrunner for season 1 and has done a LOT of DCAU work and is suprising talent, having written a lot of awesome Justice League episodes including Secret Society and The Royal Flush One. Point is we’re in first class hands.  Before the episode itself I want to talk about the intro and how it’s unique among DCAU shows. Like most Western Animation the intros for DCAU shows didn’t change much over the seasons with the most I can see is JLU changing up the footage to preview the current episode and later adding Hawkgirl to the intro after her return to the team. I THINK superman the animated series changed some of it’s footage too, but I can’t confrim it and may of just been imagining it. As i’ve talked about on my blog it’s normally a pet peeve of mine, mostly because shows you know, change after season 1, characters get added some one shot characters used for the intro never return, and after a while it can feel dated especially in more recent shows where the status quo is not at all set in stone and things change quite a bit. But sometimes it can be good enough that either the dated elements don’t matter or general enough that you don’t need to change it and i’ts just that good.. and given Batman the Animated Series has both in spades, you can see why i’ts probably my golden standard for intros and after superman the animated series DC mostly followed suit. But being part of the teen superhero boom of the 2000′s Static is unique in that it splits the diffrence: It’s intro gets the character across perfectly like a good intro should starting with Virgil getting out of bed and running a comb across his head before showing off to his sister to bug her and literally running into his dad who hand shim his bag and smiles, silently showing off his family. He then runs to school and runs into some trouble.. and said trouble changes for each intro, with Rubberband Man for season 1, Kanga (Whose name I only know because I happened to run across it) for season 2 and your guess is as good as mine for seasons 3 and 4, though Hotstreak is a constant. They still save some money for seasons 1 and 2 by recycling some animation.. but that’s alright with mea s it was good animation, and the improtant thing is cycling out old villians for new ones, while Season 3 is the only out and out redo to show off Richie taking on the Gear identity, adding about 10 seconds of intro to let him show off.  Seriously it’s an utterly great intro and like the other DCAU intros outside of superman, stuck in my brain. 

The other change that’s ENTIRELY diffrent from the rest of htem is that the music changes each time. The first two have the same formula just with a difrent vocalist and backing track: a superhero theme but with some hip hop beat boxing over it. The first intro is fine enough, not specattcular but stilll god. The second song.. is eh. Not really great and feels like a marked downgrade from season 1 and just dosen’t blend an ocrehstiral superhero theme with the beatbox elements NEARLY as well. The third song though is my faviorite.. even if I HATED Little Romeo as a  kid because I really did not like his nick show, it’s more a straight up rap song, but it has a faster beat that fits the intro better, and Romeo’s bragging fits Virgil’s character and penchant for Spidey quips perfectly. I also find it ironic that the theme that blends in with the dcau the most, the first season’s, is the one from BEFORE they decided to put it in the same universe. Still this season’s intro slaps, I just like the LIttle Romeo one a bit more.  The opening scene is picture perfect. Some masked crooks looting a warehouse are loading some stolen TV’s into a van when suddenly the lights come on one by one above one of the crooks before his tv switches to various channels before going haywire. Cue our heroes’ entrance. Let’s tak ea good look at him

Static’s Costume is awesome. While I prefer the season 3 redesign, and clearly DC agrees as the redeisgn was used for both pre and post new-52 when they used him, and while he’s getting a fresh design for the reboot, said design takes a lot of cures from said outfit. As for how the outfit differs from the comics itself  this is the design he had in the comics

It didn’t change much from the first issue, with the exception of his now iconic big puffy jacket which was added pretty early into the character’s history but I was unaware of that and just assumed he had the bodysuit the whole time. The more you know. But as you can see outside of the cool puffy jacket over a costume the two couldn’t be more diffrent. While the Dakotaverse outfit is more a standard superhero outfit, with some regular clothes touches on top the first cartoon outfit comes off more realistic, looking fantastic, but still coming off as something two teenagers could realistically have thrown together with what clothes they could buy, while still looking awesomely superheroy. IN short it’s perfect and only topped by the season 3 onward look...

But the slicker look, with an even cooler jakcet and the new colors all fitting the lighting ascetic better, but fits: not only has Virgil come along farther since he started, but with Richie now having a genius brain as Gear, he can provide a far slicker, far more professional superhero outfit on the budget the two have.  This show is just great  at costume design. 

So getting back to the episode at hand, Static puts up a huge sign in elecrticy saying “Bad guys here”, PFFFT, and then hides away and narrates that a few days ago he’d be the last person anyone would’ve expected to be a hero. Cue Flashback. 

We meet Virgil Hawkins on an average day: rapping into his razor, getting into a petty argument with his older sister Sharon, as a younger brother myself I relate to this, and talking to his dad who tries to get them to cut that out. We find out his mom has passed via his sister making really terrible eggs and saying that’s how mom made them. Exposition! Though we do get a great bit through this as when his sister gets distracted by her boyfriend calling, he uses the opportunity of her leaving the room to dump the eggs.. after having earlier jokingly prayed to his mom for a way out of breakfast. “Thanks for looking out for me mom” That’s both very sweet and very hilarious. 

This is a change from the comics it turns out as I was utterly flored to find Virgil’s mom alive and well when reading the first issue of Static. Turns out this was a change made during development and one Dwane McDuffie admitted in the interview I got the tribute quote from to not liking as he had a good reason for having Virgil have a nuclear family, as most black families in media at the time were just one single parent and a kid or two with the other having either left or died. He wasn’t too bothered by it as while he preferred what he came up with in the first place, the show DID get some really good stories out of her being gone and didn’t just have her be absent because shut up. Virgil is still working over her death and the way HOW she died ends up playing an important role in this episode and gives Virgil a dislike of guns, as she died to gang violence. So the change wasn’t for stupid or racist reasons, but likely both to keep the character count down while giving them something to work with for storylines. Or it could’ve been for stupid reasons and the writers simpily made lemonade out of that very dumb lemon, either way it ended up working.  Virgil also plans to ask his friend Frieda out. Frieda was a bigger deal in the comics, being Virgil’s friend and confidante as well as his ocasional love intrest, but here while she was inteded to at least be his love intrest here, that sorta fizzled out. As for the best friend role we meet her replacement in Richie, which McDuffie conceded was the kind of change a studio would make swapping out a female character for a male one. That being said the crew made the best of it and Richie is awesome, a bit of an overcompensating dipstick at times, but a good sounding board and pal for virgil and funny as hell too. He was also gay, something only revealed post series by McDuffie.. but unlike say Dumbledore, it’s a bit easier to swallow here: The early 2000′s were an even worse time for gay characters in tv let alone cartoons, and if they couldn’t kiss or have sex scenes on regular tv, there was no way we were getting any representation in a children’s show. So it was largely just hinted at by Richie overcompensating in how “into girls” he was and i’m once again fine with this being word of god as it was literally the best they could do and his counterpart in the comics was also gay, if not as relevant.  Ritch encourages Virgil to work on his opening to ask her out as it’s awkward as heck, hits a bit close to home.. but I do appricate the show just .. having him try and ask her out from the first episode. They likely would’ve drug thigns out a bit granted had they used Frieda more, i’m not blind to the convetions of the time. .but as someone who got the very wrong idea from tv that just waiting around meant a girl would like you eventually, when no you need to actually try even if rejection happens, I honestly wish we had more of this in media than the other garbage morals at the time. 

So he prepares to , not helped by her mentioning guy after guy is asking her out.... but before he can F-Stop, the future hotstreak, shows up.  F-STOP

That being said...... it’s not as bad as the original gangster name for the comic’s version, Biz Money B. Yes BIZ MONEY B

So yeah while F-Stop is no more intimidating, it at least means I can stop laughing. Francis, because I can’t type F-Stop without laughing and this review is already behind, shoves Virgil out of the way and agressively hits on Frieda, even saying “you smell good”, the international sign your a douchebag and also to call the police. Virgil steps up to the guy and gets PAINFULLY slammed into the lockers, something I give the animation team a lot of credit for, as you can FEEL how fucking painful that was. Virgil is saved by Wade, another local gangbanger who in the comics was a close friend of Virgils but here saves him seemingly just because.. seemingly. 

On the way home though Virg’s problems don’t end as naturally, the giant sized asshole with nothing better to do has his goons corner virgil before VIOLENTLY beating him.. off screen but the noises, and the clear brusies including a black eye, on virgil afterwords.. just holy damn i’m suprsied they got away with this but it shows just how horrifing it was and that this is a step above regular bullying, which make no mistake is absoluttley terrible and the series would later do an episode on it and school shootings, into straight up gang violence. Wade shows up again and gets the bastards to flee.. but also makes it clear he can’t keep doing this.. and forces Virgil to meet him at his base under the bridge. And it’s a tense sequence, with Virgil KNOWING this is a bad idea but having no real choice and Wade making it abundantly clear that he wants Virgil to join his crew, and makes a chilling point: while Virgils dad RIGHTFULLY dosen’t want his son to join a gang as Virgil points out.. he can’t be there for him all the time and eventually one of those times, Francis will be around. And he may not surivive that. Virgil nods noncomittaly.  At home it gets even more grim as he dosen’t open up to his family, understandably as his dad would jsut say to call the police and well.. we’ve seen how the police treat black people. At best they’d just try and use Virgil as an informant and that likely wouldn’t end fucking well for Virgil. Ritchie points out he can’t join a gang, virgil’s mom died that way.. see told you it’d be important to the plot.. but I like how the story dosen’t offer an easy answer.. well okay he gets electric powers soon enough but without the fantastic element this is just an innocent kid caught between either joining the very thing his mom hated or hoping a system not built to protect him will keep him alive. It’s utterly saddening and chilling and holy shit is it amazing a cartoon in the early 2000′s was able to get away with.. ANY OF THIS, and they handle it great, paired down a bit from the comics but even then it’s still incredibly balsy they got THIS much in. 

Naturally Wade calls in his favor and our hero is forced to come running.. and soon finds out Wade’s brought him in for a massive gang war. Welcome to the big bang, baby. He hands Virgil a gun as things get started and Virgil.. drops the thing and tries to escape, in a harrowing sequence.. and runs into Francis because god apparently REALLY hates this kid today. As if to prove that the police show up and while that prevents a beating, they demand they disassemble. then release untested gas on them because of course they do. 

As a result the big bang truly begins, with the various gang members getting mutated.. and naturally so does virgil. Though he wakes up the next day seemingly fine. How’d he get home? Does his dad know where he was?

I don’t know and we’re not getting any answers, but Virgil soon finds weird stuff happening like his clock shorting out, change being attracted to him and his razor going wild. It’s only once he get sback to his room he gets an inkling of what’s going on and calls Ritchie to meet him at the Junk yard.. though it is a bit of a dick move as he dosen’t you know, tell him anything about Wade or Francis right away. He does at the yard though.. and that he has powers, having finally figured out how to use them to a point. And the series does provide a decent justification later as to why he’d get this so quickly: Virgil is a smart kid, gets great grades at school and apparnetly there’s even an episode later where he gets a scholarship to a fancy genius school. So him getting how elctromagntisim works or being a quick study on it makes perfect sense. 

Richie suggest the obvious.. to become a superhero. And the thought.. hadn’t occured to Virgil. It’s honestly a nice twist on the old trope. That he hadn’t thought of it, not because he’s selfish or any of that or needs to learn a hard lesson, those have been done.. simply because the rush of getting his powers, and implicitly of having a way out of his current predciament, a way to keep Francis off his back and keep Wade from pulling him in further. His own path. But once i’ts brought up.. he jumps on it. Part of it is being a nerd like you or I, of course he wants to.. and being a good intetioned one, he knows this is the right thing to do. It’s waht makes a superhero a hero: Anyone can get powers in a universe like this, esepcailly the dcau, but it takes true courage and heart to use them selflessly and knowing you’ll be in danger. It’s why I love surperheroes: they often didn’t ask for this but they do it anyway because somebody’s gotta. We also get an intresting wrinkle is superman is, at least I think in this episode I could’ve missed it or misremembered things, mentioned as a fictional character. That’s because originally like the comics this wasn’t part of the DCAU.. but eventually the crew decided it shared staff from it, shared a network, both first run and on reruns, why not just make it part of the DCAU proper. I fully support this decisionf: While i’m midly annoyed unlimited never really used anything from static shock outside of Static himself in the time travel episode, despite you know Static and Gear having BEEN to the tower and not being much younger than Kara and defintely older than Courtney, I chalk it up to weird rights issues or something like that. But having Batman, Batman Beyond, Superman, Green Lantern and the Justice League itself all guest star was a good idea, and expanded both static’s universe and gave the DCAU something differnt as most heroes in it were older and more experinced in contrast to the up and coming virgil. Again really would’ve been nice if he and gear could’ve been a part of the expanded league but production might of just been too far ahead or, given he had his own series, they might just have wanted to stick to toher characters. Also begs the question why Icon or Hardware wasn’t adapted for the expanded League but hey, questions for later and the tricky logisitics of the milestone rights might’ve been the issue. I don’t know I wasn’t in the room. 

So we get a costume montage, including Black Vulcan from Superfriends, who again ironically would be voiced by Lamarr not too long after this, though weirdly they DON’T use his outfit from the comics for this montage. I mean why not? It fits the gag and would’ve been a good second to last choice.But what could’ve been aside we get our winner and cut back to present day...

Thanks boys. Static finds out one of the things in the warehouse is a shipment of computers for the school and can’t help but show off, showing up to the school, where Frieda and Richie are setting up for the dance, and dropping off the computers, and even saying his catchphrase for the first time “I’ll put a shock to your system” (Which Richie chimes in with awesome line and I agree, great catcphrase), before helping set up and flirting with frieda. 

Though as Richtie says he’s a natural. He’s not wrong as he can work a crowd. .but back it up too as his first run out had him easily taking out the crooks, and as many teen superheros and fans of heroes of hte type, myself included will tell you, getting it right in one is not easy. Not even Miles MOrales was immune. All Static needs now is a villian. 

And the end of the episode provides one as we see, in horrifc and once again damn suprising detail most of hte new metas aren’t doing so good and are melting and other stuff and we catch up with Francis whose burning up.. and naturally given that hair, though given he named himself F-Stop it’s the least of his problems, he’s got fire powers and escapes to “Have me some fun”

So with that we end episode 1. And it’s excellent, a great way to introduce the hero and while the warehouse opening is a bit superflous, it is a decent addition, showing our heroes first outing in costume and giving us a bit of an action scene to get us through the very heavy rest of the episode. But the rest of the episode is no less grippping, telling the tale of a teen caught in an unwinnable scenario who suddenly finds a way out. And speaking of which waht of Wade? Will we see him again? Is he perhaps Ebon, the series big bad as I thought when I was a kid? What comes of the man who directly caused static’s origin?

Yeahhh that’s the one mistep I think the pilot makes. Frieda is understandable as that was likely a simple change in creative direction. This though? Why build this guy up if your not going to bring him back. I mean where he went was probably the grave, as he probably did due to his mutation, but it’s still VERY weird to spend a whole episode focusing on this guy, building him up as a big personal threat to our hero.. and NOT have him become the series big bad. And maybe he WAS supposed to be ebon and they just changed their mind. I don’t know but it bothers me it bothers me a lot. Otherwise though flawless. ONe more to go. 

Aftershock: We open outside an electronics store, as our heroes watch the news reacap what happened in the first episode, with the media dubbing it the Big Bang and revealing their could be hundreds of “Metahumans”, as Virgil dubs after deciding the media’s term “Mutant” dosen’t fit, a nice wink to the fact that that’s the term used in dc comics and I believe milestone but could be wrong there. Me I like the term, has a nice ring to it. 

At the store while Richie mulls over waht this means Static finds out he’s a human CD player.... this was before mp3 players and streaming on your phone made them horribly obsolete mind you and if you don’t know what one is congradualtions you live in some sort of bubble and you made me feel really old junior. 

Frieda happens to be there and Virgil quips “What’s the matter they run out of britney cds”. Dude she’s not bad. Also be careful what you wish for man. Nickeback returned the year after this. You have not truly suffered through bad music yet my young friend. They spot a kid looking feverish, and he soon turns into a purple werewolf, as you do. It’s a bang baby.. those are richie’s exact word and you may not want to start a panic there bud. Just saying your best friend is one. THeir not all like this. Our heroes book it only to run into Francis who naturally refuses to let them leave and only doesn’t try to beat up Virgil because Virgil points otu the werewolf and nonplussed, he goes to fight it, scarring it off by revealing his own powers. He’s now dubbed himself Hotstreak which points for getting an actually good name kid. No points for what happens next as unsuprisingly getting powers did NOT mak ehim a better person and he attacks Virgil who blocks with a garbage can lid and thankfully is blasted into an ally. Richie tries to guard frieda for damn obvious reasons but gets hsi shirt burnt up because shut up Thankfully Static shows up, and we get our firsdt full on superhuman fight as both fight each other with aplomb, and it’s a damn good fight.. and one that goes pear shaped for Virg as he’s caught off guard when he finds out Hotstreak can use his powers to fly, and tackles him and his previous trauma causes him to freeze up. Thankfully , as Frieda put in a call earlier, the fire department arrive and HOt streak has to retreat, though Virgil is bummed that he “Choked”. And I love this as it not only shows Virgil’s inepxerince, as this is his first time fighting a bad guy but that just because he HAS power now dosen’t mean trauma and his previous fear of Hotstreak goes away or you won’t freeze up from time to time. It dosen’t make him weak or anything like some assholes would call it .. it makes him human. Humans make mistakes, and it makes him all the more relatable that he’s not pefect and that he did freeze up as I know I certainly would at last once in the circumstances. 

Things don’t get better at dinner as Sharon and Pops argue over the bang babies with Pops calling them a meance and Sharon pointing out Static exists so they can’t all be bad. See assuming a group of superhumans are bad because a handful of them ar edick sis why the x-men had to get their own island nation. You can only save an ungreatful populous so many times before you say “fuck it i’m getting my own island, pay me for life saving drugs, save your damn selves and stop doing genocides on us. Kay thanks”. But he does bring up a valid point that rattles his son: We don’t know anything about the Bang Babies or their biological structures and it’s likely they might further mutate into monsters, Static included. 

Virgil, understandably, wants to check this and thus he and richie compare blood samples in science, to no real conclusion. She he checks out with his doctor who assumes he’s sexually active in a great getting crap past the radar bit and a bit of realisim, but he agrees to the test though if something came up he would have to tell Virgil’s dsad and is up front about this. Nice dose of realisim.

That night City Council has a meeting and the Mayor TRIES to deflect Papa Hawkins questions about the bang babies which again, while being a judgmental ass as not every person hit was a gang member (Virgil, and as we discover later some others), and not every gang member is there by choice, some by circumstnace some, like virgil almost was, because they HAD no other option. Again years of reading x-men may of just made me a bit touchy on assholes admitely assuming superpower people bad. But it’s clear the public is upset and while she says an investigation is underway... Virgil and Richie are not only not convinced, but figure she’s actively covering it up. And unlike everyone else there who probably suspects the same, they can do something about it and tail her.  It’s during this, and cleverly as I didn’t realie till writing this using similar skills to his human cd player act, Virgil listens in and discovers whose behind it: Edwin Alva, whose apparently richer than bill gates and a beloved phinarophist Alva, as it turns out, was actually the arch enemy of Hardware in the comics, taking advantage of the guy in his civiliian idtentiy and thus casuing him to launch a war on the asshole. He does transition into this series well though, being the one behind the gas that caused it and with the mayor agreeing to back off, planning to simply dump the info about the big bang on a disc then destroy everything for now till the heat dies down. Yup sounds like a corprate douchebag. 

Static tails him, finds the lab and infiltrates it, stealing the disc.. but getting caught by Alva’s goon, and trapped in a glass prison, forced to use ALL his power to escape and barely getting out alive, but not before bouncing off alva’s car. Still he now has the proof.. and meanwhile Hotstreak, who I was wrong did get captured, is forced to take pill sbut spits them out once the orderly is gone. Dude.. WHY DIDN’T YOU WATCH HIM. Make sure he swallows that shit especially since, as he has no powers right now and can’t harm you. 

Hotstreak escapes off screen and our heroes discuss the disc before he shows up, and we get a REALLY fucking amazing scene: Virgil ducks into an Alleway and ritchie is worried.. and Virgil disarms him with just one word responses Ritchie: Virg you can’t take him.  Virgil: Gotta. Ritchie: Well at least wait for the fire department Virgil: Can’t.  It’s simpile but it gets the point across: This is his fight, he can’t wait for help, and people need him. And this is what makes a true hero: It’s easy to be a hero when everythings going well.. but it’s the true ones who stick it out against the odds and fight anyway. And he’s going to.  So we get one hell of a fight, though naturally Hotstreak burns up the disc. And I do like this as it dosen’t feel contrived.. yes Static could’ve left it with ritchie.. but he wasn’t thinking in the moment and dind’t really have time to think abotu the disc, only that people were being hurt and he was all they had between them and Hotstreak. It was no choice at all. Still that pisses Virgil off that the last night’s work is now worthless, and he fully charges up and curbstomps francis who retreats into a clearing. Hostreak brags when static follows, as even he’s figured out Static needs to be around metal, as he’s usually on his disc or the street, and in the park there suppodsidly isn’t any. But he’s not THAT smart as Virgil points out two things: one, he hoped to do this on PURPOSE so they wouldn’t be around people and no on e would get hurt and 2).. this is a city, there’s metal everywhere.. and he awesomely and cleverly proves it by unlodging a sewage pipe with his powers and dousing his foe, winning and proving his stuff. I love this solution, it’s a clever spider-man type way to disarm him, using smarts and the einvroment instead of just brute forcing it. Though the sewage part wasn’t intetional our hero still won and gets praise from the people dumb enough to follow the fight. 

However at home Virgil points out it was  Pyrrhic Victory and shows off his smarts by telling the tale behind it, which I didn’t know,because tv tropes didn’t exist yet: king pyrhus fought the romans and WON.. but had so little armies left that he still lost overall. That’s what this feels like to Virgil: he beat hotstreak but any chance at a cure for Bang Babies and Alva going to jail for causing them is gone. His mood does get a boost though as the doctor calls and reveals he’s fine, he just has a bit too much elctrolytes and just needs to lay off teh salt. He celebrates, we get a quick gag and the episode ends

Aftershock is another stellar episoe, giving us Virgil’s first super foe and a personal one at that, while showing some growth. As richie tells him he’s not virgil anymore he’s static and he can’t let his past get to him.. and he does’nt going from cowering in fear to easily beating his foe with simple logic. It’s a good followup that answers questions you may have from the first ep, like what does this do to virgil’s body, who supplied the gas, and why has no one done anything about this, and sets up another villian for Static in Alva. Great stuff. I highly recommend these episodes and the show as a whole: it’s fast paced, grounded and enjoyable, having just enough levity to not be too dour but just enough tension and stakes to be intresting. A throughly fantastic superhero show and one that i’d certainly love to revisit on this blog If you have an episode of static or the dcau in general you’d want me to cover, my comissions are open and details are on a tab on my blog or can be gotten simply by asking me via ask or dm. Tommorow we’re going deeper underground, there’s too much damage in this town as the Lena Retrospective continues. So expect gay ducks, straight ducks and some terrfirmains. See you next rainbow. 

HP FESTS: DramioneFanfictionForum (Part 3)

Sounds Like Dramione 2020:

Not fond of asking by Anonymous - M, 4 chapters - The five times Draco and Hermione cared about each other without owning up to it and what happened when they finally did.

The Scars we Share by Anonymous - E, one-shot - Those who survive war never do without any scars. Some however are invisible. Eighth year Hermione and Draco try to make a go of it, but the past doesn’t seem to want to let go.

The Magic in the Marrow by Anonymous - E, 6 chapters - Auror Inspector Malfoy is making forensic scientist Hermione Granger's life difficult.If he's not dragging her to a crime scene, he's invading her dreams.

Healing by Anonymous - M, one-shot - Returning for his final year a changed man, Draco Malfoy finds that everyone suffered and no one is alright Becoming close with Hermione Granger is healing in a way he didn’t know he needed.

fools with hearts that tried too hard by Anonymous - T, 3 chapters - For the 2020 Sounds Like Dramione Competition on the Dramione Fanfiction Forum. My prompt was "Maybe all we are is fools with hearts that tried too hard/And maybe that's just fine as long as you're here in my arms" from Maybe, I'm afraid by lovelytheband.

Loving Her Was Green by Anonymous - E, one-shot - Their secret shag sessions were a means to an end — mutually beneficial and nothing more. But when jealousy takes over, Draco Malfoy should have known better than to think it could have ever stopped there.

Ghosts That We Knew by Anonymous - T, one-shot - Malfoy keeps following Hermione around Hogwarts. She has no idea why.She traced the scar on her left arm, wondering about Horcruxes and curses, and what marks they left behind on one's soul.“Is that from – was that Aunt Bellatrix?” a voice said in her ear, and Hermione shrieked.“Fucking hell, Malfoy!”He looked sullen. “This is the dungeons, you know.”“Yes,” she agreed, trying to remember how to breathe. “If only you spent all your time here –”

Catalyst by Anonymous - E, 5 chapters - Six years after the war, Hermione has a challenging career and fulfilling friendships, and movie nights with Draco are the highlight of her week. But her impending marriage to Ron fills her with increasing anxiety.

Preying on You by Anonymous - T, one-shot - A chance meeting and Hermione finds out a long hidden secret.

Starving by Anonymous - E, 5 chapters - Hermione has everything figured out. Sex is like food. Club nights are far too expensive. And men belong in the category of 'things that are more faff than they're worth'. You know, like hair straightening charms, lingerie, and mathematical integration. This is a story about food and sex, though not at the same time. 

Why Can't We Be Three by Anonymous - E, 3 chapters - One was her unlikely best mate, the other a longtime love newly her fiance. And Hermione felt utterly barmy nestled between the two in the back of a pub, the wrong man's hand toying with the waistband of her shorts. But if her fiance didn't mind, who was she to deny that two could become three? Who was she to refuse her fiance the pleasure that she, too, so desperately craved?

Everlasting Light by Anonymous  - E, 3 chapters - no summary

Slowly, then all at once by Anonymous - M, 2 chapters - Hermione begins her training at St. Mungo’s the summer after her eighth year. She’s excited to put the past behind her—that is, until Draco Malfoy turns up in her ward and she’s forced to relive the past, if only so he can remember it. Title of the story is inspired by a line in The Fault in Our Stars by John Green.

Add it up! by Anonymous - M, one-shot - Draco struggles to keep on task while on a case with Granger.

Love is a Beautiful Thing by Anonymous - T, one-shot - How can you choose when you never wanted to hurt anyone? 

How I Ended Up Inside by Anonymous - E, one-shot - no summary

Make Damn Sure by Anonymous - T, one-shot - Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy may of overcome their differences and fallen in love along the way, but with an impending betrothal on the horizon, will everything change for them? 

Lost Souls by Anonymous - T, one-shot - Broken by war and years of secrecy, Hermione and Draco struggle to find true happiness together while hiding behind double lives. 

Hold Me When I'm Here by Anonymous - M, one-shot - No longer on the wrong side of the war, Draco finds himself fighting beside unlikely allies, each day about getting through whatever way he can.Sometimes, that way is her.

Guilt by Anonymous - E, one-shot - Getting a nanny in would work wonders.

Deflower Draco 2020:

Mind and Body by sarena - E, 5 chapters -  Hermione tilted her head, taking a step back to look him up and down. “Draco Malfoy, is this your first time?” He winced reflexively but he tried to cover it up immediately by shaking his head. “Of course not,” he scoffed.

Something Deeper by kmd0107 - E, one-shot - Draco and Hermione have to consummate their marriage bond. Draco may have left out one not-so-tiny detail.

Something Unexpected by GaeilgeRua - E, one-shot - Hermione learns that the rumours about her new husband may have been exaggerated a bit. It’s a good thing that the Slytherin Sex God and the Gryffindor Princess work so well together now.

A Stellar Collision by Somandalicious - E, one-shot - They were a white dwarf and a neutron star hurling through space and time on an elliptical trajectory with catastrophic consequences. 

Prick the Virgin by Klawdee - M, one-shot - 7th year Au, in which, Hermione (not the Head Girl, but knows a bit about head or at least several different slang words for it) asks Draco for his virginity, but NOT that virginity, and yet she gets both, that is if either really exist at all... Canon divergence - Voldy Moldy didn’t return 4th year or in this fic…at all… -Diggory was the only Hogwarts Champion…but also not in this fic… -Umbridge did teach 5th year but was chased out early due to out of control rise underage rituals…hinted at but not elaborated on… - it’s AU; Sargent and really…there is no plot, what plot? Inspired by an incorrect (as I’ve soon learned doing some minor research) tumblr post assumption on what “Virgin Blood actually” means, and I ran with it anyways. Some humour, or at least some attempts at humour. I know my confidence is staggering, hopefully you give it a go anyhow, and humour me.

In the Twist of a Curl by SlytherinHermione - E, one-shot - There she goes again. Draco couldn’t help but to watch, mesmerized as she took a long strand of her hair, and followed its curled path around her finger.He felt turned around, twisted upside down, and he couldn’t really stop himself from falling.

Waking The Dragon by Lilithmorningstar69 - E, one-shot - Draco Malfoy had very few choices, despite being a spoilt brat, as a pureblood and only living heir to the Malfoys, he is expected to uphold some antiquated traditions. That is until he sees an unexpected pair in a very compromised position.

still got you all over me by HawthorneWhisperer - M, one-shot - “Earl Grey,” a deep voice said, and it was like walking straight through a ghost. Her stomach plunged, her veins turned icy cold, and she made herself count to three before turning around.It was worse than a ghost. It was him, warm and in the flesh, cheeks slightly flushed from the summer heat outside. Draco hadn’t noticed her yet, too busy paying for his tea, and she inched toward the door. If she could just scoot past the cluster of witches waiting in line, she might be able to—“Granger?” the barista asked. Dammit. Draco’s face went several shades paler. She gave up trying to sneak out and sheepishly wended her way to the counter. Hermione accepted her cup with a meek smile and nodded to Draco like this wasn’t the worst thing that had happened to her in years. It had been seven years since she had last seen him, standing alone in front of the lake. Everyone else had been crowded into groups, surrounded by their families and loved ones, but Draco was alone. No one had come to his commencement ceremony, not even his mother.

The Infidelity Clause by melanoradrood - E, one-shot - "It ends with infidelity," he said carefully. "If one of us were to have sexual relations with another, then the contract is broken."Draco's future has been written in ink and magic since he was a child, but now that he faces it, a marital contract, he knows that there's only one way out... but the consequences of breaking such a contract are... permanent.Hermione rather likes the sound of them.Written for Deflower Draco Fest 2021

Not Your Average Sex God by GracefulLioness - E, one-shot - Draco's in love. And that's isn't even the most embarrassing thing he's confessing tonight.

Until You by BiscuitsForPotter - E, one-shot - After a potions accident at fifteen, Draco must resign himself to living with an affliction for which there is no cure. Written for the 2021 Deflower Draco Fest.

The Bowtruckles and the Beasts by PurpleSugarQuills - E, one-shot - Molly Weasley brandished a copy of The Bowtruckles and the Beasts in one hand and a ripe, yellow banana in the other. Hermione could only blink, moments away from receiving The Talk from her ex-boyfriend’s mother.This was, as so many things tended to be, all Ginny Weasley’s fault.And eighth-year fic for Deflower Draco Fest

Fortuitous timing by emotionalsupporthufflepuff - E, one-shot - Rumor has it that Draco Malfoy is a skilled and generous lover.He may have started that rumor himself...But when Hermione Granger wants to find out for herself, will it result in another disastrous event for Draco, or is his luck finally turning around?

This fest is ongoing.