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lesbianfreyja · 5 years

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wait I didn’t scroll far enough....41 and/or 61 too 👀

and 2 more 41s requested by anons!!! endless 41s!!!!!! so, by popular demand:

41. I’m not drunk enough for this.

+ 61. I told you not to fall in love with me.

Mac kicked his feet at himunder the table. Dennis trapped one of Mac’s wandering ankles between both hisown. Mac twisted it around unsuccessfully for a minute before yanking it free,glowering fiercely.

“Time to behave, you stupidasshole,” Dennis muttered, under the guise of a very bright smile. “This iswhat we’ve been training for. Don’t ruin it with a hissy fit.”

“I’m not having a — I don’thave fits, Dennis,” said Mac, frowninginto his coffee. “I’m just pissed off that they don’t have blueberry pancakes.They said they got their fruits fresh every morning on the website!”

“Well, tough titties,” saidDennis. “Life isn’t always like it says on the internet, okay? Now behave. Yourpouting is ruining our whole married vibe that we’re trying to put out there.You’re gonna blow this for us, and then we don’t have anything else to do for twomore hours.”

“Why did Dee have to meet withthose surrogate bitches in the afternoon?”

Mac stabbed at thecomplimentary granola and yogurt with the business end of his spoon. Dennis hadpreviously not been aware that somebody could eat breakfast with this level ofsulk, but then he had never met someone stupid enough to say no when Mac askedfor blueberry pancakes.

“Doesn’t matter. It’s good practice,”said Dennis airily. “Now we have some extra time to get into our roles, right?”

He waved his napkin out as heunwrapped his utensils and smoothed it over his lap. Mac had his crumpled inhis fist, although he was still using his arm to wipe off his face anyway wheneverthe outside of his mouth got stained with coffee. In an effort to keep itoccupied so as to force him to use the napkin, Dennis reached out and took Mac’sfree hand firmly over the table. He smiled a bit softly, squeezing his hand. Macrolled his eyes.

“I’m not drunk enough for this,”he mumbled. Looking around, he flagged down their waiter and ordered a shot ofKahlua for his coffee.

“Jesus Christ, you are bad at this,” said Dennis after their waiter walkedaway.

“What?” said Mac. “You loveKahlua in your coffee.”

“Yes, I do,” Dennis agreed. “But I don’t really take Vic and Hugh for themorning drinker types, do you?”

“Oh, right.” Mac frowned into hisblack coffee. “Sorry, Dennis.”

Dennis rolled his eyes.

“How many times do I have totell you?” he asked, squeezing Mac’s hand again for emphasis. “The whole pointof this is to settle into our personas, Vic.I’d appreciate it if you would call me by my correct name.”

“Oh. Yeah. Sorry, Hugh.”

Dennis sighed and broke into someof the toast on his plate. It was crazy how much better he was at acting thanMac, but at least now he was trying. He let go of Mac’s hand to reach for aknife.

“Can you pass me the butter?”

“Sure thing, babe.”

Dennis started to mumble his thanks,then did a double-take. Mac was grinning at him across the table, and after asecond Dennis’s hackles went back down and he reluctantly smiled.

“That’s more like it,” hemurmured, spreading the butter out on his toast.

Mac was still smiling goofilyat him, no matter how much Dennis snapped at him to stop, when the waiter returnedwith the Kahlua. Even though he gave Mac shit for it earlier, spiked coffee didsound good. He grabbed it off the table before Mac could make a move for it, thenpoured a generous amount into both of their cups.

“What are you doing?” asked Mac,but he didn’t sound angry with him for having the bottle snatched away from hiscontrol, just surprised. He leaned back in his seat to avoid the splash zone.

“Treating my husband tobreakfast,” said Dennis lightly. He kept his eyes trained on the Kahlua as heset it back down on a flat surface, but pink was rising in his cheeks and hecould feel Mac’s widened eyes on him. Dennis looked up — bravely, he felt, andwith a stoic face to boot. “I believe this is how Hugh Honey acts when he’s outwith his, uh—”

“Trophy husband,” Mac supplied.Dennis flushed but couldn’t stop himself from smiling a little.

“Right,” mumbled Dennis,ducking his head back down.

He didn’t usually like coffeethis strong, but he had the urge to chug it all back at once. The cup wasmostly empty when the waiter finally came by with their food, and he declined arefill. When he next looked up, Mac was already wolfing down his (tragicallyplain) pancakes with alarming and unattractive speed; Dennis sniffed and pokedhis fork around his scrambled eggs, looking around for Tabasco to steal from anearby table.

“Can I have a bite of that?”Mac asked as soon as he’d doused it, and his fork prodded its way into Dennis’sview. He looked up to see Mac watching him with an open expression and hashbrown in his teeth.

“No way,” said Dennis, edging Mac’sfork out of the way with his own. “After you had a meltdown over blueberriesearlier and called me a stupid bitch for wanting eggs?”

“Aw, come on,” said Mac. “Hugh wouldtotally give me some eggs, bro.”

Dennis’s eyes narrowed as theystared each other down across the table. With a sigh, Dennis stopped blockinghim and pushed his plate over.

“Goddamn it,” he sighed. “That’sa good point.”

“Ha!” said Mac, stabbing whatappeared to be half the plate onto his tines and shoving it all in his puffycheeks. “This is exactly what you were talking about, I think.”

“What do you mean?”

“You remember, Hugh?” he asked,looking up at him. His eyes were wide and bright, sparking; Dennis felt heatcrawl across the back of his neck, and he was glad he was wearing a polo shirtto cover it up. He kept his face impassive, but Mac was leaning forward eagerlyanyway. “It’s like you said on our first date. When you finally wore me downafter asking for, like, months.”

Dennis arched an eyebrow,amused.

“Is that what happened?” he askedmildly.

“Oh yeah, bro! Of course youwere putting the moves on me. But you’re kinda charming, so eventually I saidyes.” Mac rolled his eyes. “Back then you were just a lonely billionaire with adream, but I was the working classguy with the background in real estate helping you get your business off theground. You were, like, immediately hittingon me, dude. Just like always. So anyway, finally I went out with you, and I wasannoyed because of how much walkingthere turned out to be in golf! And you said—”

When Dennis was a junior incollege, Mac came up to visit for a weekend. For once, he’d been without Charlie,who had had plans — or maybe he’d been sleeping, or too stoned to show up, or justhadn’t felt like it. Dennis couldn’t remember anymore; it hadn’t beenimportant, even at the time. Mac had shown up at his door with some prettypotent LSD, and they’d trekked into the woods off-campus while it melted ontheir tongue until it kicked in, and they’d spent hours getting lost out there.

Mac was still antsy when they startedcoming down, and they cleaned up and ordered food, but he didn’t want to staycooped up any later than it took to down a big order of wings. Dennis drove them to afair a little ways out of town, and they spent hours riding everything there,in between sneaking into the drinks tent to get wasted; Dennis threw up on thetilt-a-whirl, and Mac had to spend the last of his pocket money on ginger ale. Whenthey were sitting on a park bench, waiting for Dennis’s stomach to settle, Mac gotfrustrated and he asked, “You know you’re a real fucking expensive date, huh?”and he didn’t mean it that way but Dennis was still feeling a little off-kilterfrom the LSD and the beer and he smirked up at Mac and said—

“I told you not to fall in lovewith me,” Dennis murmured. It came a little bit mechanically. He coughed. “Vic.”

His throat felt closed up, andhe couldn’t even bring himself to get angry at Mac for throwing in details oftheir fake marriage that they hadn’t previously agreed on. Hugh and Vic’s firstdate was supposed to have been to a wine tasting in Napa Valley. He was alittle surprised, that was all, that Mac remembered something that had happenedthat long ago on a day where he hadn’t been sober. And that maybe he thoughtabout the same way that Dennis did.

Dennis swallowed, pushing thatthought away, but he looked at him with his lips parted. Mac was fixated on hisbrunch again, though, and not paying him any mind; but a small smile was stillplaying on his lips.

“Yeah, that’s the one,” said Mac,digging back into his food.

Something was glowing rose-goldin Dennis’s chest as he stilled. He just watched Mac eat for a long moment,barely reacting to the sticky mess he was making or what he was talking about. Atsome point, Mac glanced up with his mouth still full and caught him in the act.Dennis bit his lip, and Mac only missed a beat before he kicked Dennis in theankle again.

“Get eating,” he instructed. “We’veonly got two hours to make it downtown and we still have to catch a bus.”

Mac understood him most of thetime, fundamentally. He knew what not to mention and when to divert a conversation.Maybe it was just his bossiness flaring up in him, wanting the attention and todomineer the conversation, but whatever it was Dennis felt grateful.

Hiding his own warm smile — strangeand terrifying and also the most natural and familiar thing in the world — Denniswent back to his brunch.

#i promise i'll do the other numbers in these asks too sdkljkldjs but yea #honeyv fics never die!!!!#you could also technically read this as a warmup for a bigger thing im doing so wigg #they were banging in season 5 #glirsty #hyruling #ask #drabble tag #iasip fic #fic #fic stuff #iasip #mac x dennis

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